#realistically the only way i could get thru it w/o ripping myself to shreds due to stress is to just. remove the public speaking aspect of i
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im required to finish a speech class for my AA and i initially went oh. Just once huh. Yeah this is fine I can power through it! what could go wrong
#suicide tw#in tags#yeah so uh#my suicidal ideation hasnt been this bad since i was scraping by senior year unmedicated#its not the professors fault at all shes fine its just that the whole fucking point of the class fucks me over#realistically the only way i could get thru it w/o ripping myself to shreds due to stress is to just. remove the public speaking aspect of i#which is the whole point of the class. so obviously nobody would ever want to let me do that#and its REQUIRED. they REQUIRED this fucking course. its not doing shit to benefit me it just makes me want to swan dive off the roof#and dont even get me wrong here its not that im giving up without trying#i went way out of my comfort zone and put together a speech i actually really liked#the fucking thing tanked my grade#it had points taken off because i panicked and had to do it late but even if it didnt#it wouldve only roped me a low C#im doing fine on almost EVERY other part of the course but the speeches#for the love of fucking god. i am begging you to just let me opt out. i cannot take this anymore#i tried it your way and fell flat on my face just dont. dont make me. fuck#negativity#vent#i havent felt like making a post this long and dramatic and whiny in years#it is really not a pleasant feeling to have to relive just. fuck i cant do this#im not in a good enough state to complete this outline#im just. going to sleep. i cannot make myself go to that class tomorrow it wont happen#dottxt
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