#realistically i keep thinking about my soulmate because i idealize that they won't reject who i am like everyone else.
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#annoying tw π₯΅πππππ and if you reblog this i'm gonna snipe your fucking left eye with safety scissors π₯Ίπ#remind me to never feel interested or get invested in wanting to know anyone. that's always where the problem starts. every fucking time.π#love has always been the mistaken excuse i keep damaging my mental health over. it's like a fucking festering toxicity.#wanting to be loving is the fucking problem. thinking of how to be more loving is the fucking problem.#being loving is the fucking problem. even just seeing love is the fucking problem. love is what is worst for me.#it's soooooooo fucking stupid. so sooo soooooo stupid. sooo soooooo sooooooooooo fucking stupid.#i'm trying to mold myself into being a more loving person when obviously it's the most monumental fucking idiocy spewing shite.#love may simply be the answer for the world but for me it's the problem. fucking distractingly pathetic lie.#it's actually quite the hilarity. i just genuinely hate love as a concept. just look at what it has done to me.#realistically i keep thinking about my soulmate because i idealize that they won't reject who i am like everyone else.#and i keep leeching on to it because having just one connection...would hypothetically fix me. but deep down i know it won't.#nothing will at this point. i'm just wrong. as a person. as a thought. as an existence. i regret not offing myself when i was younger.#you know scrolling through my blog last night and this morning has been really disgusting. sex disgusts me. love disgusts me.#how i've been acting lately....it disgusts me. love is not who i am. it's not what is best for me.#the quicker i accept it for what it is the better i'll feel. hm. cringecore posting is kinda fun actually. anyways bye. π#if you see me posting about love i'm just keeping up the bit and the aesthetic of it all.#i seriously fucking hate love and believe the gross hold it holds over me will be the death of me.#ok bye. for real this time.π#suicide mention..=#i guess. don't fucking read this anyway. π i come on here to talk to myself if you read it i'll fucking step on your pinky toe. ππΏ#anlg0107
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