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emmagannonuk · 5 years

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i blame carrie bradsaw

“Simply walking along with a takeaway coffee in your hand turns you into a belligerent fantasist. You feel like a VITAL cast member of Sex & The City, when of course, really, you're just a schmoo with a brew.” -- Caitlin Moran

Oh no, I’m a walking talking cliche, feeling like a Gal About Town sat in the lobby of a trendy New York hotel getting quite tipsy (it’s 3pm on Friday and my flight is a few hours) and writing a blog. Yes, I am that person who drinks before a flight (if I can, and if it’s a socially-acceptable slash chic enough hour to not look unhinged). I just had a quick scan of this lobby, and everyone is drinking, so, I don’t look like the odd one out, thankfully. Getting tipsy (not drunk) before a flight makes me feel less anxious (the hypnotherapy didn’t work! boo!), and also makes me fall asleep quicker, so win win.

I’ve had the best 10 days in New York. To the point where I am like, can you fundamentally be changed in 10 days? Am I going home a different person? Maybe that’s possible. Maybe you can go away for 10 days and come back slightly different. I can’t stop thinking about that new Paul Rudd Netflix show “Living With Myself” because it taps into this tempting idea of Our Best Self vs Our Average-To-Poor Self. I just texted my sister to say: “I think I am my best self here??” She replied being like “what do you mean??” I was like “I don’t know??”

I guess we are changing and adapting every single day and you could argue that you don’t wake up as ~the same person~ each morning anyway. Symbolised through our hair, we have good days and bad days. Every single day, we are shaped and moulded and scarred, both renewed and slightly more beaten down. We might be inching closer to death as we age, but perhaps we are also becoming closer to being ourselves.

I saw a palm reader while I was here. I don’t give care if people think it’s woo-woo. I also don’t care if it’s a scam, because all that matters is that the person (which is me, in this case) is going into it wanting to do it. My palm reader was an older lady wearing a headscarf who didn’t smile and as I sat down nervously she said ‘how long have you had that headache?’ and my eyes nearly popped with surprise because I’d had a pumping headache all morning from the anti-biotics I was taking, and from crying out all the H20 in my body at the 9/11 museum. So, obviously I felt like a see-through piece of paper and it meant I started believing all the other stuff she was starting to tell me. My past life. My relationship. My family. My future. My finances. My barriers. I won’t share here what she told me. But, good news: it didn’t totally freak me out. Quite the opposite. It made me feel stable. Good. Relaxed. Certain things in my life, she said, will never be a problem. But, there are certain things that I need to keep a very careful eye on. There is something lacking in my life, she said. She raised an eyebrow. She knew. And I knew. She gave me some more information, she sold me two crystals and told me to put them under my pillow. She also told me not to eat meat or dairy for a few days but then I might have accidentally stop off at Chipotle on the way home.

The energy in New York is different. The actual vibrations of the city are stronger, louder, faster. Like that Kanye West song. Practically everyone is swaggering around with a brew in hand and sunglasses because most people have chosen to live here. There is a “I made it to NYC, bitch” kind of attitude. A sign of success for so many people. That’s not to say I didn’t see a lot of lost souls wandering the aisles of WholeFoods with sad eyes searching for $20 salads. But on the whole, there is an attitude of LET’S DO THIS. I might be generalising, but in the UK I’m not usually met with this level of enthusiasm. Back home, people say things like ‘wow you’re brave!’ while swigging a drink when you talk about being self-employed, or they say “oof, eek, good luck with that matey!” when you share a new big idea -- but here, in NYC, people are like: “sounds GREAT, I think I know someone who could help???”

I made impromptu plans with people and we did really great fun stuff. Back in London making a plan often requires a Doodle poll and someone saying: “hi babe!!!! I think I could do Feb 2020, week commencing the 5th, for half an hour????”

I went to a Max Richter concert with my friend Clemmie and realised (late to the game) that listening to classical music live is basically listening to a sound bath and it clears out the dregs of your mind. I went to Jimmy Kimmel live, and I felt like a nerd in my element watching how the production and crew made it all happen. A smooth operation, and a really funny show. I went to an event at The Wing, where Liv Little was speaking about building Gal Dem and representation/misrepresentation in the media, and then a small group of us when to the best dumpling place I’ve ever been to, they were called ‘soup’ Dumplings because the delicious soupy goodness explodes in your mouth. I did a book event (COUGH COUGH my book comes out soon in America) with Manrepeller which felt super special having followed Leandra Medine’s career journey since my early twenties. I bumped into a good friend who I’d gone to NYC with 10 years prior. I kept hearing songs in cafés that reminded me of my twenties. I guess a lot of things felt ‘full circle’.

Thirty, flirting and thriving!

But seriously, being thirty is great.

E xo

#newyork

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