#real symbolic imaginary

[lacan-psychoananalysisaspraxis]

self-affirmation does not deliver relief from the discomfort experienced. The being retains its opacity. Psychoanalysis welcomes everyone’s differences without prejudice, and it invites everyone to produce what is most unique. Psychoanalysis is therefore not normative. This does not mean, however, that it agrees to bow to identity politics. Such politics, in fact, are powerless to treat the suffering these subjects testify to.

How topical is the theme of interpretation ?

Agnès Aflalo:

People have never expressed themselves as much as they do today. We talk about ourselves all the time, even in the most intimate detail, particularly on social networks. To the extent that for some, it is enough to say: “I am what I say I am” to think that they really are. There are different ways of doing so: I’m dys, HIP, trans, autistic, etc. This self-nomination wills to no longer be a symptom, but a lifestyle which tends to prohibit any questioning, any interpretation, as if the being had become transparent to itself.

However, experience shows that we must go through the Other again because self-affirmation does not deliver relief from the discomfort experienced. The being retains its opacity. Psychoanalysis welcomes everyone’s differences without prejudice, and it invites everyone to produce what is most unique. Psychoanalysis is therefore not normative. This does not mean, however, that it agrees to bow to identity politics. Such politics, in fact, are powerless to treat the suffering these subjects testify to.

Interview with Agnès Aflalo. Alexandre Gilbert Gallerie Chappe.

[grandpasessions]

But within the society of prohibition the imaginary is also a site of potential disruption. Subjects immersed in the imaginary remain within the confines of the symbolic order, but they do not recognize these confines. As a result, despite this inscription of the imaginary within the symbolic, our experience within the imaginary seems as if it occurs before or outside of the intervention of the symbol.

This is why our first experiences, though the symbolic order provides the context for them, are imaginary ones. Prior to the act of grasping their integration into the world of the symbol and thus their “humanization,” subjects constitute themselves on the level of the imaginary, and on this level, they are able to enjoy—which is to say, they are able to see themselves as whole, not as lacking. In the mirror stage, the prototypical imaginary experience, the child looks in the mirror and sees her/his body as a coherent whole over which she/he has mastery. Though this sense of wholeness and mastery is illusory or imaginary, it nonetheless obscures the child’s lack and hence disguises subjection to the symbolic order.

In the imaginary, the subject seems isolated and independent of the symbolic order—self-sufficient. It is for this reason that imaginary experience represents a danger to the social order even though it is integral to it and remains firmly within it: subjects lodged in the imaginary believe themselves to be independent and fail to see their symbolic bond with other subjects. Thus, they see other subjects purely as rivals, rather than as partners in sacrifice. The lack of distance in the imaginary further exacerbates this sense of rivalry. Images, unlike symbolic structures, seem directly present to us.

The End of Dissatisfaction Todd McGowan

[ruvviks]

we would sell anything just to buy who we're not // we kill our way to heaven

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[funlovingfuzzball]

I raise you young *autistic* queer woman.

Me: “Ooh, such a well-defined structure!”

Them: “That helps heal the lasting effects of trauma and purify your subconscious!”

Me: “Uhhhhhhh…”

*awkward silence*

Me, at a very high speed because none of my scripts account for this: “Sodidyouknow it forms like that because it takes in some of the residual iron in the soil? Pretty cool, right? It’s in fact closely related to this other one over here, except that it has one extra silicon in its structure. It’s very rare, but you can see it used in ancient Egyptian jewelry every so often, which is super neat.”

Them: “Uhhhhhhh…”

[dandelionjack]

We Invest Things With Significance, or: Why Sutekh Isn’t Sutekh, But Death Itself. alternative title: Fear Is the Mind Killer.

the Doctor Who Series 14/1 thesis statement

i don’t think that sutekh has literally been attached to the TARDIS since Pyramids of Mars. i think that the salt at the edge of the universe — the grievous mistake that caused all myths to become a reality — was what made him appear. and he’s not the same character as sutekh the osiran, a powerful alien that delusionally believed himself to be a god. he *is* a god. nuwho-Sutekh is Death Incarnate.

ergo, this version of Sutekh is the literal psychic manifestation of the Doctor’s deep-seated, guilt-motivated fear of the idea that his arrival brings death wherever he treads. this death-anxiety was turned into a physical presence, haunting the TARDIS all through the Doctor’s timestream, because of the salt. that’s the reason why the Doctor didn’t spot any Susan Twists before Wild Blue Yonder…

there are two timelines in Doctor Who — relative time and universal time. universal time is the history of the universe. relative time is how the Doctor experiences it. in universal time, Sutekh has supposedly been hitchhiking through the vortex for millenia. in relative time, he has only been doing so since Fourteen accidentally invited myths back into the world.

the Doctor was insecure and afraid and believed the above quote (from the very first episode!! spoken by the very first named character in nuwho to die on screen, no less!) to be true. but until WBY it had only been true on a symbolic, metaphorical level. myths, legends, concepts and stories becoming real after the salt caused the Doctor’s anxiety about being a death-bringer to take the shape of a black dog — a universally recognised symbol of death — wearing the name and voice of his most formidable enemy, Sutekh.

in a way, this plotline mirrors The Woman from 73 Yards similarly being a manifestation of Ruby’s worst fear — that of being abandoned by everyone she loves for something intrinsic and incorrigible inside her that she cannot change. Ruby fears being left completely alone, so “The Woman” causes everyone in her life to leave her. the Doctor fears that his coming always heralds mass destruction (“maybe i’m the bad luck”), so “Sutekh” makes sure that the TARDIS literally becomes an altar of death.

ever since Wild Blue Yonder, stories in doctor who have become sources of immense power. the worst, most potent stories we tell ourselves are the lies that our sick brains whisper to us — secret anxieties that we’re not good enough, that all our loved ones will inevitably leave, that we carry nothing but bad luck in our wake. what better clay to mould a monster from than the protagonists’ own neuroses?

and if anybody’s still in doubt, here’s the plain text, all laid out below:

we invest things with significance. that’s what the salt at the edge of the universe really meant. that’s what almost every episode this series has been about, thematically — the imaginary kastarions, the cosplaying chuldur, the bogeyman written into life because kids need a scary story. myths become real to us because we believe in them, love and death and monsters too.

[sabrinalovesyou]

this is my brain condensed into a single screenshot

[porcelainseashore]

Heavenly Creatures

Pairing: Altar Boy! Leon Kennedy x Catholic School Girl! Reader

Summary: Growing up in a conservative, Catholic community, you and Leon were kept apart as kids for your own good. However, a fateful encounter at church many years later causes you to question those boundaries.

Content & Warnings: 18+ Smut, porn with plot, unprotected p in v, oral (m & f receiving), rimming (f receiving), semi-public sex (church), Catholicism, religious imagery & symbolism, temptation, guilt, shaming, name-calling, growing up, smoking, swearing, romance, fluff, secret relationship.

Author's Note: Leon and Reader are in senior high and 18 when smut happens. No guarantee that you won’t burn in hell after reading this 🔥😂

Special thanks to AliBelleRosetta for being my sounding board + shadesoflsk & Cameron for your helpful feedback.

Title from Heavenly Creatures by Wolf Alice.

AO3 Link

Snake. Devil. Satan’s spawn.

Those were the names you had grown accustomed to as a child. You didn’t know why you were called them, instead of the one your parents had given you. You were too little to understand. All you knew was that you were made to feel different. Maybe you were really an anomaly from the rest after all.

Instead of being quiet and shy, you were loud and boisterous. It was natural for you, seeing as you were going through your tomboy phase, which was the exact reason your parents had stuck to when they received complaints about your behavior. They laughed it off, while others reined their daughters in, forcing them into perfect Sunday dresses, braided hair adorned with pastel ribbons and clean, black Mary Jane shoes. Good enough to fit into a pretty gift box with wrapping paper. But you would tear it all down, before anyone could lay a finger on you.

Growing up in a place where other children were told to shun you was difficult at first. But then, you learnt to play by yourself and relish in the power of make believe. You climbed trees, rolled in the mud and ran through the forest fending off imaginary monsters. Sometimes, when you bumped into other groups of boys who threw stones and made fun of you, you fought back, further earning the title of crazy witch! Who needed these idiots anyway? You were your own best company.

One day, you sat in your disheveled, cream cotton dress, swinging your legs from a tree in your front lawn as usual. It overlooked the suburban neighborhood street, giving you a bird’s eye view of your surroundings. You noticed a family of three strolling along the sidewalk, though the couple gave you a disapproving look as they walked past, and whispered to their little, adolescent boy. They thought they were being so discreet, but you could hear every single word they were saying.

“Don’t pay attention to her. She’s bad news.”

Regardless of this remark, the boy gave in to his curiosity and as he peered up, you held his wide-eyed gaze. His irises were azure in color, glowing as it caught the early dusk light from different angles, shifting across a stunning spectrum of bluish, iridescent hues. You were captivated by them, and as you continued staring, his cheeks turned rosy red, though it seemed like he could not break away from you either. That moment was abruptly cut short, as his father smacked the back of his head, chiding his son for disobeying him.

“Come along now, Leon.” The older man wrapped an arm around the boy’s shoulders, turning him away from your direction.

Leon. So, that was his name. As you watched them turn the corner at the end of the street and head off, you wondered if and when you’d see him again.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Leon had heard the stories passed around about you. His parents had often commented about your family as being one of those ‘weird, hippy types’. Frankly, this didn’t scare him, but rather, it fascinated him. They made you appear like something he had read in a book about myths and legends, and he wanted to see if it was real.

The next time he went out to play in the field, he walked by your place again on purpose, even though it would have been the longer route. As he had predicted, you were up in the tree again, lounging across its branches with your eyes closed, like a slithery snake basking in the sun. Your dress was stained with grass and dirt, and your feet were soiled and filthy. Twigs poked out haphazardly from your knotted, messy hair. 

You looked like a creature of sorts, alright, he thought.

He inched towards the base of the tree trunk gingerly, trying not to stir the sleeping beast. But as he got closer, he accidentally stepped into a pile of dead leaves, which crunched underfoot. 

You roused from your slumber then, rubbing your eyes as you stretched your arms out with a lazy yawn. He flinched when you looked downwards at him, as if you might strike out, but you just smiled and said, “Hi.”

He was confused then. From the descriptions of you, he had expected you to breathe fire and gnash your teeth at him fiercely, but you were just a normal girl. He gave you a puzzled look, nodding as he greeted you with a stutter, “Hi… I-I’m, uh, Leon.”

“I know.” You grinned.

“You do?” He looked astounded, as if you’d conducted some dark ritual to find out.

You picked up on this and teased him, wiggling your fingers as you mouthed, “Magic…”

He laughed, relaxing his stiff shoulders and asking you for your name. He’d only known you until now as that girl, or one of those nicknames people gave you out of spite.

You introduced yourself and offered him a half-eaten apple you had munched on before napping on the tree. He hesitated at first, regarding it as if it were a forbidden fruit, but eventually he reached out for it. Gratefully, he bit in, savoring the flavorful burst of its juicy flesh.

“Do you go to church?” He asked suddenly, out of the blue.

Shielding your eyes from the afternoon sun with your hand, you squinted at him. “Yeah, why?”

“Oh.” He paused, considering his next words, though he blurted out with unfiltered honesty, “Well, my dad said that demons can’t enter hallowed ground.”

“I’m not a demon,” you huffed indignantly.

“No, you aren’t,” he agreed, waving his hands in the air apologetically, trying to salvage the situation. “I think you’re nice, actually.” His face was warm and pink again.

“I think you’re nice too.”

And it continued on like this. Some days, he’d pop over to visit and speak with you from below the tree, when he was sure no one was watching. Until a day came where he wasn’t as careful, and was spotted by a concerned neighbor, who ratted him out to his parents. 

You were sad that he wasn’t allowed to see you again, but you’d grown used to being alone for most of your childhood, so you tried to put it behind you and move on, unaware that he’d often look out for you at each week’s Sunday Mass.

━━━━━━━━━━━

A number of years passed, and you filled out into your own body. You were in your senior year of an all-girls Catholic high school, and had recently turned 18. Reaching womanhood also meant that you became acutely aware of the changes in the way society treated you now, as compared to the opposite sex. Heads turned as you stalked around with one of the more unruly cliques in your school. Instead of being name-called after otherworldly creatures, you were reduced to bitch, slut, or whore. 

People hated what they couldn’t understand or control. You’d been giving the nuns a hard time by asking controversial questions about the biblical text you were meant to study and recite blindly. Detention was nothing new to you and your friends, whom you’d been caught smoking cigarettes together with on school grounds. You were a rebel at heart, and the rest of the law-abiding community wanted to crush that and make you conform.

Leon, on the other hand, had been going to the all-boys school next door, which shared a brother school relationship with yours. He was in the same year and age as you, though being a man meant he had the privilege of getting away with certain things you couldn’t. Even there, your name wasn’t safe from being circulated around the rumor mill. You were the subject of boys’ locker room talk. They associated you with the ‘bad girl’ crowd, highlighting your love for reading banned books and boasting about supposed sexual escapades with you. 

“She’ll do favors,” they said, making vulgar gestures by moving their fist back and forth in front of their mouth, while poking their tongue against their cheek.

Leon slammed his locker door shut and stormed off. It made him uncomfortable that they gossiped about you that way, but he was even more ashamed of the fact that he made no effort to stand up for you. He hardly knew you, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that what they were doing was finding a scapegoat to blame. That, unfortunately, time and time again, happened to be you.

Most of the students there were sexually active anyway, but no one had complained about them. As long as one kept things on the down-low and upheld a certain moralistic façade, they were considered as ‘innocent’, ‘pure’, or ‘normal’ even. For one, he was pretty sure that his father was having an affair with the church choir mistress, but that seemed to go overlooked. 

Everyone’s such hypocrites, he pondered, frowning in distaste. Including himself. Although he liked to think that he was brave and courageous, in actuality, he was afraid of rocking the boat. Fitting in was more important, just as his parents had taught him from a young age. It was the side of him that he hated the most, but could not get rid of.

Gathering his belongings, he left school and hurried off. He’d been requested last-minute to serve at Mass that evening, as one of the other altar boys had fallen ill. At church, he exchanged his school uniform for the standard black cassock and white surplice, before starting with the Introductory Rites.

You, on the other hand, had been singled out along with a bunch of other troublesome girls to attend Evening Mass with the Mother Superior that day. It was just your luck that you had to devote an hour of your time to a set of outdated rituals and prayers, with the aim of reflecting upon your sins. The most frustrating part of this exercise was that all of you were placed in the front row pews, so there was no chance of daydreaming or dozing off in front of the priest. You’d never been much of a believer, but sometimes you did speculate if God was watching your every move from above.

As you stood up for the entrance procession, which signaled the start of Mass, a familiar mop of dirty blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes passed by. You’d recognize that anywhere, but it was a wonder how you hadn’t realized that he was serving as an altar boy all this while. Maybe your Mass timings hadn’t aligned? Or maybe you just never paid much attention in church. You’d only seen him here and there when he attended Mass with his family as part of the congregation, but you ignored him back then, because you didn’t want to remember the feeling of losing the closest thing you had to a friend in your pre-teen days.

When Leon turned around to face the congregation for the greeting, he gulped as he saw you, standing almost directly in front of him as both of you made the Sign of the Cross. Speak of the devil, he muttered internally, before chastising himself for unintentionally insulting you and shook that thought away.

You gave him a coy smile as he scampered off to where he was meant to be stationed. For the first time in a while, you took the chance to admire his chiseled features and how much he had grown. He had always been attractive, but he was no longer the little boy you used to know, and instead now a fine, young man, in an even finer religious attire. Puberty did him good, you mused.

All at once, a mischievous plan flashed across your mind as you plotted how to win his attention. It would be an entertaining way to pass the time in this mundane institution. Viewing the school uniform as yet another means for the authorities to curb people’s freedom and creative expression, you had a habit of violating the dress code by making minor adjustments to it. Whether it was shortening the hem of your skirt or wearing below the ankle socks, you went for it. And today was no exception.

You waited until it was time to be seated before attempting to catch his gaze. Within a few minutes, he sneaked a peek your way and you stifled a laugh. Bingo. As you continued looking straight at him, you stretched your legs out cautiously, so as not to alert the Mother Superior, who sat beside you, to your antics. His eyes widened and flickered, as you showed off their length, rotating your ankles in small circles languidly. The other altar boys started to take note and whispered in hushed tones amongst themselves. But you only had eyes for Leon, scrutinizing him like a hawk, as you bared your teeth with a sly grin plastered across your face.

It was only a matter of time before the Mother Superior rapped you on the legs with a thin, wooden cane she carried around for doling out such punishments. The other girls in your row giggled as you returned your legs to a respectable position, disregarding the smarting pain that had accompanied the blow. 

It was worth it, you reasoned, spotting Leon’s lopsided smile, as he turned away to hide his blush.

This soon carried on like an unspoken game between you and Leon. You’d attend Mass whenever he was serving as an altar boy, and he’d look out for you, exchanging glances like a secret code shared between the two of you. A sense of thrill arose within him each time, as to what you’d try next. If only he knew what you were capable of.

At some point, you grew bolder. During the Holy Communion, where Leon had been helping the priest to hold the patina under the chins of those who received the Sacred host, you made sure once again to make eye contact with him the whole way through. Your mouth was slightly agape, as you extended your tongue, clasping your hands together in a pious prayer position. When the priest placed the host in your mouth, you swallowed it suggestively, licking your upper lip for a finishing touch. Leon nearly stumbled over backwards as his face turned bright red like a tomato. The last thing he heard was your silvery laughter, and you returned to your seat as if nothing had happened. You had ensnared him now.

When Mass ended, you slipped him a note, asking him to meet you at the confessional when everyone else had been ushered out. You knelt in the penitent compartment, waiting for him to arrive, confident that he would show up. A few minutes later, you heard someone enter the booth where the priest usually sat.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” you began. Through the latticed screen, you could just about make out Leon’s face as he chuckled.

“What are you playing at?”

“You tell me,” you challenged, testing the waters. “I haven’t received any complaints.”

“Well, I have a question,” he mentioned quietly. “Do you still remember when we hung out back then? At the tree.”

There was pang in your heart, as you recalled your childhood memories. “Of course, you were the only one who bothered to speak to me.”

You pursed your lips before taking the plunge. “I really appreciated that.”

There was a momentary pause, as he took your words in. “I wish they didn’t separate us.”

“It isn’t too late to start over.” It was humiliating how eager you sounded. No matter how much you tried to repress it, you yearned to rekindle that connection you had with him once.

“Listen, I like you,” he admitted, sighing heavily. “But, I can’t go public with this. My parents-”

“Who says it has to be public?” You retorted defensively. 

His heartfelt confession emboldened you, yet a part of you felt dejected that this was the best option he could offer. However, you didn’t want to concede without giving it a shot.

He made a noise which sounded like he was in disbelief. “You mean-”

“Shall I come over and show you?” You interrupted, already getting up before he could answer.

“Y-yeah,” he stammered. “I-I’d like that, I guess.”

Exiting your compartment, you stepped out and swiftly went over to where he was, closing the door behind you. It was crammed and stuffy in this tiny box with two people, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. Giving him a once-over, it struck you that he was still in his altar boy attire and perhaps what you were about to do was wrong on so many levels, but you brushed those thoughts aside.

“Um-”

Before he could speak any further, you ran your hands up along his chest and planted your lips onto his, soft and pillowy in texture. He let out a low moan, easing into your embrace as he kissed back, holding onto the back of your head for better leverage. His tongue grazed across your lips and you parted them in response, allowing it to slip inside as you tasted each other. Grabbing the collar of his cassock, you pressed your bodies together heatedly. You sucked on his tongue, eliciting another moan from his throat, as you shuffled him around, pushing his back against the wooden wall with a loud thud. Both of you had lost yourselves in a whirlwind of kisses, oblivious to the outside world and the ruckus you were making.

However, it was hard to ignore the hymn that was being sung when the next Mass started. Leon froze, before pulling away hastily. His mouth was red and swollen, and a pearly string of saliva connected it with yours.

“Shit, we lost track of time,” he panted. 

If you didn’t want to be seen, you’d need to remain where you were until the Mass ended. In other words, both of you were trapped here for at least another hour. 

Not being one to let such matters ruin the vibe, you responded, “That’s not a problem for me.” Trailing a lone finger down Leon’s body seductively, you let it come to rest above the growing bulge in his cassock.

“Are you serious?” He breathed, as you cupped your hand around it, palming him through his clothes.

“You got a better idea?” You murmured in his ear, squeezing his erection a little as you continued rubbing against it.

“Don’t get me wrong, it feels amazing.” His voice was strained as he spoke. “But, it’s just…”

“Catholic guilt?” You teased.

“Yeah, probably.” He nodded sheepishly.

“Well, maybe if we get you out of this thing.” You gestured to his attire. “You might relax into it more.”

“Makes sense,” he agreed, tugging the surplice over his head and discarding it to the ground. “Though it never really goes away, does it?”

You shrugged, shaking your head. “I still get it, but it’s less of an issue now.” It made you follow up with a question of your own. “Does that mean I’m a bad person?”

His eyes crinkled as he grinned. “You're doing it again.”

“Hm?”

“Guilt,” he indicated. “But to answer your question, no, I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway.” You tried to deflect the topic, knowing the rumors that people spread about you. Leon had probably heard it all. “At least there’s still hope for you.”

“Thanks?”

“Don’t thank me yet.” You winked, removing the sash from his cassock as he unbuttoned the rest of it, revealing a plain white shirt and a pair of shorts underneath.

He snickered as you clucked your tongue at the sight. “What did you expect me to do? Go Commando?”

“Would’ve been hot,” you pointed out.

Leon had always been perceptive. From your interactions, he began to suspect that sometimes you relied on lighthearted banter as a way to mask your nervousness and other underlying emotions.

Nestling his fingers under your chin, he turned you towards him. “You sure about this?”

“Mm hm.” It was sweet of him to check in. Most guys never offered you the same courtesy. “Been thinking about it since Communion,” you added brazenly.

He snorted as you gave him a quick peck on the lips. Working your way down, you kissed his clothed body, pulling the waistband of his underwear and shorts to his ankles. Kneeling before him, you reached for his cock, smearing beads of his precum carelessly along his velvety skin, while you pumped his hot shaft slowly.

He inhaled sharply, snapping his eyes shut, as he tilted his head back in pleasure. In the background, you could hear the priest’s sermon droning on.

With a smug smile, you warned, “Do me a favor and try to keep it down, will you?”

Before he had a chance to react, you filled your mouth with his cock, sliding all the way down its hardened length.

“Jesus,” he groaned.

Instantly, you released it with a pop and tutted in mock disappointment, “Taking the Lord’s name in vain?”

“We’re so going to hell for this,” he laughed faintly, tangling his hands in your hair.

“Ah-” He gasped again, as you held onto the base of his cock, lifting it to flatten your tongue on its underside. Slathering it with saliva, you took his balls into your wet mouth, one at a time, sucking on them delectably. “Fuck!”

“Don’t you ever shut up?” You joked.

“Not if you keep doing what you’re doing, angel.”

Angel. That was a new one. You’d never been called that before, but you liked the sound of it.

Wrapping your lips around his cock, you started a steady rhythm, bobbing your head up and down his shaft. Each time you came up, you flicked your tongue at the tip, licking it as you stared up at him. His eyes flew open, gazing at you with lust and arousal while you sucked him off more vigorously.

Sliding his cock in deeper, you allowed it to hit the back of your throat, causing you to make a guttural noise. Clenching his fist, he bit down hard on his knuckles to stop himself from crying out. If this was hell, he’d stay right here with you. He couldn’t think straight anymore, as he bucked his hips forward in response.

Grabbing his ass, your fingernails left crescent shaped indents on his skin, as you let him fuck your mouth to chase his high. Tears lined your eyelashes and sweat poured down your brow. It had gotten incredibly hot and humid in this enclosed space. But his muted moans only served to turn you on even more. You wondered how perverse and trashy you looked in this position, though Leon could only mumble the opposite in his feverish state.

Soon, he tensed and quivered while hissing through gritted teeth, “God, I’m gonna cum.”

Lady Luck appeared to be on your side, as the congregation were in the middle of singing another hymn, which inadvertently muffled whatever sounds were coming from the confessional. He struggled to hold in his groans as you felt a thick, salty load of his cum wash up against your throat. You choked a bit before swallowing it whole.

Collapsing backwards, you leaned against the cool surface of the seat behind you, wiping the edges of your mouth. Tucking his spent dick back under his clothes, he sank down beside you, kissing you gently and tasting himself on your lips. 

“You ok?” He brushed his thumb along your cheek.

You nodded silently and smiled, contemplating if there would be a future to what you had with him now.

“I ruined you,” he jested, showering you with kisses along your jawline.

“As if.” You rolled your eyes, but deep down, you knew it was the truth.

And, just like he had read your mind, he uttered the magic words, “So, when will I see you again?”

━━━━━━━━━━━

Since the encounter at the confessional, you continued your clandestine meetings with Leon, just like back in the old days, except both of you were now wiser in covering your tracks. In public, you pretended not to know each other, yet shared furtive, longing glances when you were in the same vicinity. Sometimes, he would make an excuse to brush past you, his touch ghosting across the curve of your spine, your shoulders, the back of your hand to the tip of your pinkie finger. Away from prying eyes, you hooked up passionately, damning each other further to hell. How many levels were there again? You’d lost count.

You enjoyed the moments spent with him. The aftercare and cuddling. The long talks into the night. You understood each other somehow, it wasn’t like this with other people. So, if the Day of Judgment arrived, why would God not sympathize with you both?

Despite that, neither of you had put a label on where you stood with each other. How did this secret relationship work? If you were found out, would he ditch you like before? Would you be thrown under the bus, so that he could be purified again? It wasn’t long until insecurity reared its ugly head, gnawing at you from within.

Leon sensed something was off as you lay in his arms, naked while he spooned you in the back seat of his car, parked along a desolate dirt path near the forest. You had that pensive look on your face, like you were in a world of your own, one where he couldn’t enter.

Pulling you close to him, he kissed the top of your shoulder, coaxing you out of your reverie. “Wanna talk about it?”

You hummed noncommittally. After a long pause, you asked, “Are you embarrassed by me?”

He was caught off-guard by the question and his breathing stilled. “No,” he argued. “Why would you think that?”

“I’m just tired of hiding,” you sighed. “It’s like I’m making you do something bad.”

There was a brief ache in his chest, as guilt swelled up like a wave. Coward, an inner voice spat.

Carding his fingers through your hair, he pressed his lips against the temple of your head. “You make me feel like the best version of myself.”

“Hm.” You pinched your lips together, wanting to believe him, but you weren’t convinced.

He observed this, but decided not to press the issue any further, knowing that you needed action, not words.

She’ll be your downfall. A surly voice piped up within him, like fire and brimstone. He shook it off, ignoring the moral tug-of-war that had occurred once he made that statement, as he vowed to prove himself to you in the coming days.

━━━━━━━━━━━

The next time you’d agreed to meet was in church, after the very last Mass of the day. He was serving as an altar boy again, and you were intrigued as to whether he had planned to reenact the entire confessional scene or switch it up with something new, like making you go through the Stations of the Cross while fucking you. You giggled at the idea, only to be shushed by a fellow parishioner, whom you had disturbed in meditative prayer.

When Mass ended and everyone except yourself had left the nave, you waited patiently for him in the pews. After a while, you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to face Leon, who had changed into his casual clothes. As you got to your feet, he cupped the sides of your face in his hands, closing the distance, and bringing your lips to meet his in a fervent kiss. You were slightly taken aback by his initiation, since he was usually the shyer one out of the two of you.

Claiming your hand in his, he led you to the front, where the altar stood before the austere crucifix that hung from the wall. He smirked, noticing the look of shock and incredulity on your face, as it gradually began to dawn on you what he had in mind. However, he was anxious too, you could tell from the way his hand was trembling. He was sealing his fate, and you were both going down together. Nothing could bring you back after this ultimate act of blasphemy.

At the foot of the altar, he caressed his lips against yours. “I guess God is our witness now.”

Leaning in, you found yourselves consumed in a lip lock, which deepened with each passing second as you helped each other out of your clothes, kicking them off unceremoniously to the side. He spun you around, bending you forward against the smooth, marble top of the altar. The cold surface caused your nipples to harden and goosebumps to form on your skin. You shivered as he spread your legs wider apart and knelt down, holding your thighs as he licked a firm stripe along your silken folds. 

As he continued to lap at the sensitive flesh, he brought a hand towards your clit, stroking it softly with his middle finger. You jerked from the sensation, whimpering as he alternated between thrusting his tongue into your heat and suckling it with his lips. There was a slight pressure as you felt one of his fingers sliding into your pussy, already soaked with arousal. At the same time, his tongue trailed up towards your rim, teasing it with long, flat licks.

“Oh my god!” You gasped, gripping the edge of the altar, as an electrifying tingle coursed through your veins.

There was a playful smack on your ass. “Forgotten the Third Commandment already?” Leon scolded.

“Huh?”

“Taking the Lord’s name in vain,” he mimicked your tone from when you had teased him at the confessional.

“Ugh,” you whined. “I’m sure this is the least of our concerns.”

You felt his hot breath against your asshole before he dipped his tongue in lightly. Simultaneously, he pumped your pussy, pushing in another finger and stretching you out, before his tongue went back to circling around your rim, inciting a string of moans from your mouth.

“Feeling good?”

“Mm, yes,” you replied hoarsely. “But when are you going to fuck me?”

He coughed out a laugh at your bluntness, before imparting a piece of unsolicited advice. “Patience is a virtue.”

You groaned at his quip. “Really, Leon? Are you-”

He interrupted rudely, pressing his hand on your back as he entered you, burying his cock deep into your cunt. You nearly screamed in ecstasy as he pounded his hips against your ass repeatedly, already setting a brutal pace from the beginning. Maybe you should’ve been careful of what you wished for.

“What was that again?” He taunted.

You growled, clenching your jaw as you felt his dick dragging against your sensitive walls. The lewd sound of skin slapping against skin echoed across the space. Your mind fogged up in an insatiable haze as you pushed back rhythmically against his thrusting, allowing him to penetrate you further, and taking pleasure in how his head brushed against your cervix with each stroke.

“So close,” you rasped, your core tightening as if it was about to burst.

At this, he pulled away briefly, flipping you over as he lifted you onto the altar top. He had a bruising grip around your thighs, which you wrapped around his waist instinctively, interlocking your ankles behind his back to draw him closer. Bewitched, he took a moment to drink in the divine sight of your flushed, moist body, supple and wanting in his arms, before kissing you sloppily on the mouth. Pressing his forehead against yours, he asserted, “You don’t know what you do to me, angel.”

With that, he rutted into you relentlessly, your breasts bouncing as you clung to the back of his neck, crying out in rapture. When you finally snapped, a glimmer from the gold cross necklace he wore daily flashed before your eyes. You looped your index finger around it, tugging at it as you peered up at the bleeding face of Christ looking down at you ominously from the crucifix. The last remains of the day’s light filtered through the stained glass behind him, casting a kaleidoscope of mottled colors across your bodies, the altar and the stone floor, like a disease.

You realized you had tempted Leon beyond salvation. But in spite of it, he had followed you willingly. This was the proof he had wanted to show you. You were the angel he would desecrate everything for. He’d cut your wings off so you’d be his and stay.

His cock throbbed with desire as he rode you through your orgasm. As he neared the edge, he pulled out, finishing himself off. Nuzzling his face into your neck, he murmured a mixture of curses and professions against your skin, while spurting hot white cum over the mound of your pussy. Holding onto the marbled structure for support, he bent over you, placing tender kisses on your eyes and your lips.

It seemed as if he had turned his back on God and worshiped you now. But instead of a guilty conscience, you felt nothing but love. Silently, both of you cleaned up and got dressed. He delicately reattached the butterfly clip that had come loose in your hair, while you wiped away the lipstick that had smudged onto his face. There would be no signs of what had transpired, except he had another surprise lined up for you. 

Upon exiting the church doors, Leon took your hand, lacing his fingers through yours, as you walked out onto the street together. You were his - he’d show you off to the whole damn world without shame.

[noneorother]

I bought Aziraphale's Bible so you don't have to.

Am I insane? Yes. Was it worth it? Maybe. In most* of both season 1 and season 2 of GO, there's a very specific Bible on a bookstand next to Aziraphale's desk. It's a vintage illustrated plate book by Harold Copping, known as the Harold Copping Bible, published by the religious tract society in London in 1910. It features some of the most well known Old Testament stories, summarized and annotated by the Bishop of Durham at the time, and illustrated by Copping, who was freshly returned from a sojourn in the middle east. Ironically, It was meant as a lay-person's version of a comic book, short, exciting by use of exotic illustrations, and easy to read.

But my (expensive) gain is now your gain! As I've collected here every visible page in both seasons for your reading and viewing pleasure.

Season 1: All episodes Adam & Eve Genesis iii (1:3) / HCB page 10

Season 2: Episode 1 Joseph known to his brethren Genesis xlv (1:45) / HCB Page 28

S2E1 14:21, S2E1 17:41, S2E1 39:45

Season 2: Episode 2 Jacob's vow Genesis xxviii (1:28) / HCB Page 22

S2E2 5:49

Season 2: Episode 2 Joseph known to his brethren Genesis xlv (1:45) / HCB Page 28

S2E2 13:38 (see S2E1 above)

Season 2: Episode 2 The Brazen Serpent Numbers xxi (4:21) / HCB page 36

S2E2 16:12, 43:40

Season 2: Episode 2* Bible on the desk, Magazine on the stand Annuel L'art Pour Tous, Cover (1861-1880 most likely)

S2E2 22:10

The French L'art pour tous industrial design periodical will have to be a story for another post. For now, just enjoy this 1880 edition copperplate of cherubs discovering a microscope...

Season 2: Episode 2 Imaginary page from HCB, Job KJV Job (18:1) / HCB N/A

S2E2 22:29, S2E2 40:05 Obviously, the plate illustrations and text look different here than in the real bible, because they were created for the show. But there are a few more particularities here. For one, this layout with the thin grid around the text, as well as the paragraph symbol next to the first title, indicate that this would have been a printer's proof copy, not a finished book. It shows you the layout grid and can be annotated for changes. Second, there seems to be a war going on between fonts. Where the "chapter" of Job begins, we get a font and a style similar to the original bible, which gets rudely interrupted by a dropped capital (from the real book) and a Gothic-style font/verse numbers like in the original King James version of the printed Bible.

Season 2: Episode 3 The Brazen Serpent NUMBERS xxi (4:21) / HCB page 36

S2E3 1:18 (see episode 2)

Season 2: Episode 5 By the Rivers of Babylon Pslam cxxxvii (19:137) / HCB page 52

S2E5 21:20

Season 2: Episode 6 Bible missing, L'art pour Tous on the stand Annuel L'art Pour Tous, Cover (1861-1880 most likely)

S2E6 10:21, 17:21, 18:15, 34:28 (see episode 2)

Season 2: Episode 6 Closed HCB, L'art pour Tous on the stand behind HCB page 0

S2E6 37:58, 44:20, 48:08

[hyunsvngs]

kinktober !

kink: tentacles

pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader

wc: 2.3k

tentacle kink: a sexual interest in tentacles and the imagined creatures that have them.

It had to work. You would die if it didn’t work.

Then again, you’d probably die if it did work. You’re trying to summon Slenderman, after all. No one would understand why except for you. You’ve always had an affinity for all things macabre and dangerous, and maybe you’re a little messed up. After deep diving on Reddit, you were more than dubious that the creature actually existed. You had to find out. You had to see for yourself.

Clearly not that bad, because you hadn’t gone into the woods like they’d told you to online. The October weather was ultimately too cold to be trekking through branches and fallen leaves, even to try and summon your favourite Creepypasta entity - you did the second option instead, drawing a quick symbol on your wall with marker and all of the lights turned out.

The poem felt a little silly coming from your lips, despite Reddit users insisting it’s mandatory for the summoning. It felt even sillier when you stared at the symbol, barely visible through the moonlight flooding in beyond the curtains, but you had to persevere. If he was real, he’d come to your room and meet you. If he was real.

You ended the poem, finally opening your eyes and sighing. You blinked at the wall, quickly looking around the room. What a load of bullshit. Slenderman isn’t real, then. You’d proved it for yourself, and-

“This is fucking ridiculous,” There was a thud behind you, and you spun around on your bed, hazily trying to see who had joined you in your room. You reached over with a squeak, flicking your lamp on. There, in what almost looked like the Slenderman from your dreams - a man, dressed in a suit and dark, ebony hair pushed back from his forehead. He kicked an imaginary stone with his shoe, shoving his broad hands into his pockets and finally looking up at you. He blinked at you a few times, and then raised an eyebrow. “Why are you scared? Did you not ask for this?”

You huffed. “Well, you’re not Slenderman.”

The man groaned, head rolling back. He cracked his neck effortlessly on both sides, and then stared back into your eyes. His gaze was piercing, dark and feeling all too consuming. “I am- I’m like his brother, but not in the way you humans adhere to. He sends me for cases like yours. Minor, petty things.”

“Cases like mine?” You scoffed, resisting the urge to punch the man in his annoyingly attractive face. He wandered over to your desk, wholly unaffected, and started to flick through your diary. “Hey-!”

“Cases like yours,” He repeated, a small smile flickering on his lips at one of the pages. “Sexually charged cases. You are a little fucked up, aren’t you?”

You bristled. You knew exactly what page he was looking at. Your diary was for mundane things, your day-to-day life, but it was also where you detailed your more… late night fantasies. Recently, some rather obscure things had been taking up the majority of your brain, and maybe that’s what had pushed you to summon Slenderman. You’d never admit that, though.

In all honesty, this guy was kind of hot. You weren’t sure if it was the mysterious atmosphere about him, if he was clearly otherworldly judging from his alabaster skin, or if it was his long legs in those suit trousers. If you were of a different state of mind, you’d have believed he was the entity you were trying to reach. There was just one thing.

“Aren’t you a bit short to be related to Slenderman?”

The man stopped. He sighed, and then shut the diary, before turning to you with one long, accusing finger. “First off, I’m not that short. Secondly, I told you, it’s not the same as what you humans think siblings are. Also, I don’t have to prove myself to you.”

You grinned. “You just tried though, right?”

He rolled his eyes, stalking over to the bed. “I think I’ll kill you sooner than I planned. You’re rude.”

“You’re rude too,” You huffed, trying to kick him in the leg from your position on your bed. Instead of catching it with his hands, a pitch-black tentacle sprouted from his back and wrapped around your ankle, effectively pinning it down and rendering you motionless. You gasped, and he raised an eyebrow. “What the-”

“We do have some similarities,” The man began, drawing the tentacle tighter. “We’re of the same species, for one. I suppose I’m not as prestigious as him, but you seem happy enough to have me here, right?”

You blinked. “I would actually prefer if you left, in all honesty.”

“Can’t,” He shrugged, withdrawing the tentacle. Your ankle flopped back to the bed and you grabbed it instinctively, slightly disappointed to feel no traces of the slimy limb. “I need to kill you. It’s in the rulebook, you know? Once you’ve seen one of us, you have to die, or my mission will fail.”

What were you meant to do in this situation? You didn’t really want to die. You hadn’t thought the whole thing through at all. You’d expected to just see traces of the entity, perhaps catch him from the corner of your eye - you were instead left with a sexy long-limbed man standing in front of your bed, basked in the soft orange glow of your bedside lamp.

“Why kill me when you could fuck me instead?” You’d said the first thing that came to mind. The man’s jaw dropped, before it quickly reverted back to normal, his head tilting to the side in confusion.

“You are pretty weird, aren’t you? Unusual. A little fucked up, like I said.”

“That wasn’t a no,” You hummed. The man’s eyes burnt a trail down your legs, exposed in your sleep shorts, and then his eyes were fixated on a patch of skin revealed on your shoulder from where your shirt had slipped to the side. You scoffed, yanking the shirt back into place. “Oh my God, you want to, don’t you?! That’s why you haven’t left!”

He shrugged. “I’ve never fucked a human. It could be fun.”

You blanched. Okay, you hadn’t expected to get this far. After you had, though… Well, he had tentacles. That was something from your deepest, darkest desires, something that you would try to push to the back of your brain and scrunch your eyes shut tightly with your hand shoved down your pyjama trousers. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were already getting wet, clit throbbing with need.

He started to move towards you. First, it was one knee on the bed, and then the other joined, starting a slow crawl that resulted in his face getting closer. You hadn’t realised you were moving closer, too, and you gulped. “What’s- what’s your name?”

The man chuckled, face only inches from yours now. His face looked young, you noticed, yet his eyes held a wildfire inside as if there was so much you didn’t know. There was so much you wanted to know. “Seungmin.”

You had no time to debate it, because his lips were pressing against yours. They were soft, plush, and you found yourself whimpering into his kiss. He’d effectively shut you up. Without a second passing, Seungmin was dominating your mouth, pressing his tongue in and rolling it against yours. How did just a kiss feel so good?

You let him push you back into the sheets, forearms landing on your pillow either side of your head for purchase. He deepened the kiss, his hands moving to tangle in your hair as he held you in place. You felt your pussy flutter, achingly horny despite the lack of stimulation, and your breath caught in your chest. 

Seungmin pulled away and you licked your lips, chest heaving. “I.. can I see them?”

“See what?” He mused, thumb brushing along your lower lip. One look at the amused expression on his face told you that he knew. 

“The…” You gulped, legs parting to allow him closer to you. His bulge was thick, pressing tightly against your core. “The tentacles, Seungmin. Can I see them? How many are there?”

“Four, baby,” He leaned down, nipping at your neck. You gasped, hips bucking up, choosing not to comment on the pet name in your haze of lust. “I can put one in your pussy, one in your asshole and one in your mouth. How’s that? Is that dirty enough for you?”

You whimpered, grinding on his bulge. Seungmin allowed it, hands moving to your hips to aid your movement. It had your sleep shorts slipping around, fabric sticking to the wetness accumulated on your folds. You whined, arms thrashing until they settled around his broad shoulders, still clad in his expensive-looking suit. “What about your cock, Seungmin?”

“My cock?” Seungmin scoffed, running his tongue up your neck. It made you squirm, thighs clenching around his slender waist. His hair tickled your skin, dark and perfect as if he’d spent hours styling it. You knew he hadn’t. “I can fuck you without needing to cum, baby. I doubt I can say the same for you.”

“No, I’ll- I’ll probably cum as soon as you put one in, to be honest,” You admitted, cheeks burning crimson with embarrassment. 

“Hmm, that makes a lot of sense,” Seungmin reached down, yanking your sleeping shorts down. It bared your pussy to the room, cold air hitting your clit and the slick on your pussy. It made you jolt, squeaking as Seungmin saw you in such an intimate way. “You’re wet. Are you feeling impatient? Needy, even?”

“Yes! Yes, God, I need it,” You huffed, spreading your thighs further. You were practically spread eagle now, and you ran your fingertips over the soft expanse of your tummy, just barely visible below your shirt. You continued the journey down your body, looking up at Seungmin with pleading eyes, and then you pressed two fingers into your clit. You flinched, wailing at the stimulation. “Ah, I’m so horny, I’m so horny, what the fuck-”

“Stay still, I’ll give it to you,” Seungmin murmured, and then you caught sight of them again. Four pitch-black tentacles sprouted from his back, seeming to forego his clothes and then one was tickling at your entrance. You moaned, because were they suckers?

It was easy to learn that yes, his tentacles had suckers, and he was now brushing one over your clit. You obediently moved your hands out of the way, back to their position on his shoulders. It sucked onto the swollen bundle of nerves with ease, and just as you started to squirm, another tentacle was pressing into your tight, drippy hole. You could feel the amount of slick you’d gushed beneath you, ruining your bed and quite possibly ruining you for any other man. The appendage itself was lubed, brushing through your own wetness and creating a filthy noise that rang throughout your bedroom.

“Don’t squirm,” Seungmin commanded, hand running up your thigh comfortingly. The tentacle pushed in further, and you clenched, wet, heavy breaths coming from your mouth. “That’s it, good girl. Let it push inside you, just like that.”

The tentacle was narrow at the tip, but it flared much further out after an inch or so. The stretch made your pussy leak even more than what was imaginable. You didn’t think you’d ever been this wet. The appendage was long, but Seungmin kept pushing more and more until you were taking around five inches of it, and you whined, reaching down to press at his stomach.

“Too big, too much,” You protested, but Seungmin shushed you, pressing a kiss into your cheek.

“Your pussy’s just too little, baby. Too tight,” He grunted, and then he pushed another inch in. “Take it. Take it for me, and I might think about giving you my cock later.”

“Your- would you?” Your eyes were teary, toes curling into the bed. “Been good. Tryin’ to take it, ‘s just- it’s so thick, so long. Seungmin, Seungmin, sir, sir, you said you- you’re not gonna kill me?”

“How can I kill such a sweet thing?” His hand moved to your cheek, before moving down, wrapping around your neck. The pressure was light, but very much there, making you moan out into your room. “You’re whining so pretty for me. Calling me sir, taking this just like it’s my cock. You’re dirty. I have to keep you around, don’t I?”

You nodded, legs thrashing on the bed. Your chest heaved, a blotchy pink rash overtaking your skin. “It’s good, it’s so good, so thick, oh- Oh, I think I might…?”

“You think you’re gonna cum?” Seungmin scoffed. “Already? Alright, do it. I’ll let you. Just this once, okay?”

You keened, hands gripping onto his shoulders. Your fingernails must have been digging into him almost painfully, but he didn’t flinch, staring straight at you with the same dark, piercing gaze. Your pussy clenched down, tight and fluttering, and then you were-

You gasped, eyes fluttering open as you attempted to look around your bedroom. The sun had just begun to rise, but your boyfriend was awake, and pulled you into his chest upon seeing your eyes open. 

“Sounded like hell of a dream,” Seungmin smirked, his eyebrow raising. You bit your lip, staring up at him. “Was it about me?”

“Always is,” You mumbled, burying your face in his shirt. He chuckled, shoulders shaking as he rubbed down your back with a tender, broad hand. “It was dirty.”

“Yeah? Another reenactment of how we first met?”

You sighed, brushing your hand down one of his tentacles. It laid bare on your bed, and twitched with approval as you fidgeted with it.

“Yeah, something like that.”

[lacan-psychoananalysisaspraxis]

Trauma’ is a term that has long been used in medicine and surgery. It comes from the Greek τϱαŭμα, meaning wound, which in turn derives from τιτϱοσχω, to pierce.

‘Trauma’ is a term that has long been used in medicine and surgery. It comes from the Greek τϱαŭμα, meaning wound, which in turn derives from τιτϱοσχω, to pierce. It generally means any injury where the skin is broken as a consequence of external violence, and the effects of such an injury upon the organism as a whole; the implication of the skin being broken is not always present, however–we may speak, for example, of ‘closed head and brain traumas’.

In adopting the term, psycho-analysis carries the three ideas implicit in it over on to the psychical level: the idea of a violent shock, the idea of a wound and the idea of consequences affecting the whole organisation.

Laplanche, J. and Pontalis, J.-B. (1973) The Language of Psychoanalysis. London: Hogarth Press – Reprinted by Karnac Books 1988

[grandpasessions]

In order to answer these questions, we must first examine more carefully the relationship between cynicism and knowledge.

The cynic tells her/himself that she/he is not invested in the ruling ideology, that she/he sees through all of its strictures and manipulations. The symbolic order no longer represents, in the case of the cynic, a barrier to the Real; on the contrary, the cynic believes that she/he sees directly through the symbolic mediation of the Real into the Real itself.

The knowledge of cynicism, however, is not what Lacan calls “knowledge in the Real.” This is because, in pulling away the veil of the symbolic fiction, we do not find ourselves with an unmediated access to the Real. Instead, we encounter a specular image that we take for the Real. We believe, in other words, that what we see, beyond the constraints of the symbolic fiction, is the Real, that it is not an image.

While we are skeptical about the symbolic fiction, we are not at all suspicious about what we see; we are wholly taken in by the image. The cynic knows very well that the symbolic fiction is just a fiction and also “knows” that the imaginary field beneath this symbolic fiction is a reservoir of truth. For the cynic, the status of the imaginary does not come into question. This represents a radical change in the status of belief—this insistence upon the authority of one’s own eyes and the rejection of symbolic authority.

In (Per)versions of Love and Hate, Renata Salecl explains this transition through a reference to Groucho Marx: “When Groucho Marx was caught in an obvious lie, his response was: ‘Whom do you believe—my words or your eyes?’ The belief in the big Other is the belief in words, even when they contradict one’s own eyes. What we have today is therefore precisely a mistrust in mere words (that is, in the symbolic fiction).

People want to see what is behind the fiction.” This turn away from belief in the symbolic fiction and toward the image beneath it reaches its apotheosis in the postmodern cynic.

The End of Dissatisfaction Tobb McGowder

[guzhufuren]

The message that P'Sammon, the writer of 4 Minutes, shared on her twitter (heads up it's google translated)

[Great Tyme]

Many people have understood correctly. In the real dimension, how could Great and Tyme love each other? One is a loveless child who looks at the other with lust. The other is a young doctor who is stuck in resentment. If Great and Thyme had never entered the four-minute dimension, there is no way they could have loved each other.

But both of them had the opportunity to enter the four-minute dimension, which is not an imaginary world, but a parallel universe connected by a bridge called NDE (Near-Death Experience).

[What if]

The four-minute dimension is a world where...

What if… Great is brave enough to stand up for what is right.

What if… Tyme can put down his resentment.

Therefore, their relationship develops properly and gradually. Love can then arise in that dimension.

Fortunately, Great and Tyme have the opportunity to return to a new life in a world where time moves forward normally. The brave Great and Tyme who put down their resentment have remembered the love that they had for each other in the four-minute dimension and continue to love each other in the real dimension. Even though Great still has to take responsibility for the consequences of his own actions, Great is no longer alone. Tyme will be the one who will be by Great’s side from now on.

The love of this couple originated in a different way because these are Great and Tyme. Two young men whose hearts stopped beating at the same time at 11:00 am and had the opportunity to enter a special time together, both of them learned not only about love and relationships but also about making decisions in life.

[Regret]

The author's mother always made this joke that "knowing something is not as good as knowing if I should have", which made the author think carefully before deciding to do or say anything. If I had known, I would have been able to change it while I was still alive, but if I had known, when I was 'about to die', I would not have been able to do anything. The experience of caring for terminally ill patients taught the author that we should not live our lives as if the end would never come. This idea reduces impulsiveness, spontaneity, and ignorance. Every decision is under our control.

[Timeless]

Does a timeless land really exist? From an author's perspective, I believe it does. But with the potential of humans who can only control the dimensions of width, length, and height, and perceive the time dimension that flows forward and does not reverse, life is determined by lifespan. But if we can bring ourselves to experience the fifth dimension, for whatever reason, we may escape from the rules of time or even control time ourselves.

The author would like to ask permission not to reveal all the theories of science, physics, medicine, research, or philosophy used to create this story. In fact, there are visual symbols, additional interpretations from the production team and actors that the author must analyze himself as well. Therefore, it is open for discussion. There is no right or wrong. You can throw theories around as much as you want. I really like to read everyone's analysis.

Thank you to all viewers who have been following 4MINUTES all along. Me and the team will accept all criticism to improve and develop future works. 🥰

[janmisali]

Number Tournament: ZERO vs THE IMAGINARY UNIT (The Championship Match)

[link to all polls]

0 (zero; naught)

seed: 4 (60 nominations)

previous opponent: negative one

class: additive identity

biography: one of the most revolutionary numbers in all of mathematics, and not just because of its rotund symbol.

the notion of "nothingness" as a number in and of itself rather than merely as a placeholder was discovered independently in many parts of the world at many different times, particularly in cultures that used forms of positional notation (ie. writing numbers in a way where every symbol has some numerical value, and its position within a number indicates that the value is multiplied by some power of a "base", often ten). due to its strange nature as a number with no value, many properties that are often taken for granted with other numbers do not apply to zero.

in the Number Tournament, zero has beaten some incredibly iconic numbers seemingly effortlessly. fifteen, thirty-six, sixty-four, the golden ratio, and negative one were all no match for naught. it is truly a force to be reckoned with.

zero is a number associated with emptiness, with the void, as well as with new beginnings. it is one of the foundations of all of mathematics, and it is certainly one of the best numbers.

[Wikipedia article]

i

seed: 11 (46 nominations)

previous opponent: NaN

class: imaginary

biography: another groundbreaking number, discovered much more recently than zero. much like zero, in its earliest uses i (the imaginary unit) was considered more of placeholder than a number in its own right, as the name "imaginary number" might suggest.

the imaginary numbers (and the complex numbers they are a part of) were born as an elegant solution to a practical problem, and they've persisted as a tool for modeling things in the physical world, no less real than the "real numbers". complex numbers are useful for "translating" statements about shapes into statements about numbers, and vice versa. they are crucial to the Fourier transform, which itself is a vital part of signal processing and many areas of physics.

in the Number Tournament, i faced off against a series of increasingly tougher challengers: forty-seven, twenty-seven, e, two, and Not a Number, each race closer than the last. i fought hard to get here, and we're all very proud of it for making it this far.

i is associated with the mathematical tradition of taking "you can't do that" as a challenge, and with thinking outside of the box. it is a fundamental component of our modern understanding of the world, and it is certainly one of the best numbers.

[Wikipedia article]

[venussaidso]

Saturn Dominant Themes — 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐚 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟗

In my research, I was delighted to find the magic which resides in the nakshatra Anuradha. Unfortunately, I haven't yet understood Vishakha so I cannot speak on the spiritual journey of Anuradha coming from Vishakha. But there is something about Anuradha that is so powerful that it stands on its own.

This nakshatra literally has the power of transformation (8H) through imagination (mostly occultism but I will be touching a lot on fantasy in this post). It is symbolized by the lotus, a flower that is able to grow in dirty waters as long as there is stillness. This is interesting as I often associate this water sign with a muddy pond-- which would signify Scorpio's ability to navigate through the murky or unseen aspects of life.

In Anuradha, Scorpio uses imagination as a tool to explore themes of humanity or challenge societal norms. Reality can be so harsh for Anuradha that it often escapes to pure fantasies, if not the occult, where they can actually take lessons from other worlds and transform for the better. Here, the still waters represent the real world for Anuradha; reality can be so oppressive and unchanging, and yet the lotus still grows despite its powerlessness over the waters. Their real power is learned from other realms. Here it is imagination that develops the resilience of Anuradha, this resilience and their newfound power signifying Saturn which is the lord that rules over this nakshatra.

The best film to first mention is "Pan's Labyrinth", which is written and directed by Guillermo del Toro who is Anuradha Moon. There is also a book version which was written by him and co-written by Cornelia Funke who is also Anuradha Moon.

The story follows a little girl who lives in the harsh realities of post-war Spain in 1944. She travels with her pregnant mother to go live with a sadistic, psychopathic military officer -- that happens to be her stepfather -- in an extremely isolated area (8H/signs of coming danger).

The little girl discovers a mysterious labyrinth near this remote area, and she meets a mythological creature who reveals to her that she is the reincarnation of the Princess of the Underworld. This faun-like creature then gives her three life-risking tasks to prove herself as the rightful ruler of the Underworld.

A little similar to Alice In Wonderland, as she navigates this magical, fantasy realm in which she encounters many other mythical creatures. Her reality outside remains the same. She still lives under the authority of her evil stepfather who becomes increasingly violent and overbearing. Yet, despite her unchanging reality, the tasks that she was assigned to in the labyrinth prove to be a metaphor of her strength, resilience, and her transformation which helps her face the harsher real world while still retaining her innocence/imagination and morality.

The oppressive figure in her life is something of a prominent theme for Saturn nakshatras so it is interesting how it plays into Anuradha; and how the tasks she was assigned to in this mystical world push her beyond her comfort zone which is Saturn simply refining her through difficulties and the 8H putting her in extremely dangerous situations.

Despite this story being the epitome of Anuradha, I still have some more examples.

The movie "Bridge to Terabithia"; which is about an artistically-driven boy who befriends a girl who is known for her creativity & imagination (played by Anna Sophia Robb who has Rahu in Anuradha). This movie is based on the book with the same name written by Anuradha Moon Katherine Paterson who literally explores the themes of resilience built from imagination to overcome harsh reality.

The two friends team up in creating an imaginary kingdom called Terabithia just in the woods near where they live. This kingdom becomes a place they escape to when they go through extreme difficulties that they as kids are powerless in. They use their imaginations to overcome challenges and build their confidence through.

And, "The Chronicles of Narnia" which was written by C.S. Lewis who was Anuradha Sun.

The story follows the Pevensie siblings during the harsh and challenging reality of World War II. They lived in London but have moved to the countryside due to the bombing raids which have affected their homes. Very interesting how this story also sets in around the times of war where there is loss of all comfort and security -- much like Pan's Labyrinth. Both very 8H themed.

Also, Pevensie siblings are almost all Saturn-ruled nakshatra moons.

And Lucy Pevensie, who is played by Anuradha Moon Georgina Helen Henley, is actually the one who first discovered the world Narnia through the wardrobe (another gateway similar to the labyrinth in the Pan's Labyrinth).

C.S Lewis explored many universal moral and ethical concepts by using Narnia as a sort of playground to take the Pevensie siblings through a journey of self-discovery, redemption, and transformations with many dilemmas they have to face which further builds virtuous character/resilience. They come out all the more wiser and better as people from their journey in Narnia -- and this leads to their eventual crowning as kings and queens of Narnia which further signifies the rewards reaped from Saturn from the total refinement and transformations.

And Aslan, who was voiced by Anuradha Moon Liam Neeson, is an agent of transformation and great influence on each characters' path to growth/redemption.

He encourages virtues such as courage, strength, kindness and sacrifice. His character is very pure, and he even acts as a father figure especially to the youngest sibling, Lucy, who is also Anuradha Moon.

Very interesting how Aslan literally is an important role in the natural order of Narnia as his presence seems to be closely tied with the changing of the seasons and the restoration of harmony in the world of Narnia. This literally bears a resemblance to Lord Mitra's role in maintaining cosmic order and harmony in the universe. Very similarly to Mitra, Aslan embodies virtues like justice and nobility. This character is the embodiment of the retained purity of one's soul in a world full of the push-&-pull of good and evil forces.

Now onto Alice in Wonderland, which was written by Lewis Carroll who was a double Anuradha.

Now, Alice does not seem to come from any hardships at all. She is simply portrayed as a curious little girl whose character still grows in Wonderland. The story shows how she struggles with her identity and fitting in in Wonderland, as this world challenges everything she thought she knew. I did establish that Anuradha seems to use fantasy as a canvas to challenge norms, logic and point to the absurdity of societal norms. These themes are leaning in Ketu territories, and it can validate Scorpio being co-ruled by Ketu as perceptions of reality and the fluidity of truth is often highlighted throughout the story. Especially through the characters Chesire Cat and the Mad Hatter.

A little off topic, but very interesting that Chesire Cat was voiced by Swati Sun Jim Cummings in the 1951 film version and the 2010 version was voiced by Magha Sun&ASC Stephen Fry which is literally just a darker version of the character. This character is very nodal influenced as it understands the madness in Wonderland, shamelessly embracing the absurd nature of the world which may or may not be illusory. (Also, Mad Hatter -- in the 1951 film -- was voiced by Swati Sun Ed Wynn AND Johnny Depp played a darker version of the Mad Hatter in the 2010 film and he has his Ketu conjunct his Moon).

Anyways, Lewis Carroll actually uses the Mad Hatter to shed light on the societal issues of that era. Anuradha utilizing fiction and imagination as a tool to explore Nodal themes would make sense as they have an understanding that the world doesn't really change (but that doesn't stop one from transformation/education). Anuradha is supposed to reject societal norms, but natives can feel really stifled by their reality and even by themselves sometimes.

But this nakshatra literally can unlock the power of bringing imagination to life, which is shown in an obviously exaggerated way in the book "Inkheart" written by Anuradha Moon Cornelia Funke. And the movie based on that was actually directed by Anuradha Sun Iain Softley. This story is about a man, named Silvertongue, who has the ability to bring fictional characters to life from simply just reading a book aloud.

Very interesting that 'Silvertongue' is portrayed by a Jyestha Sun -- Mercury being a function in him speaking things to life.

Now, Anuradha is a Saturn nakshatra which obviously means that the other nakshatras ruled by the same lord will trine it and pick up on very similar themes. So just gonna throw some examples out there.

Like the film "Jumanji" (1995) which starred Pushya Sun Robin Williams who plays a character that got sucked into the world of a mysterious board game since he was a kid. He's brought back to the real world when he's his adult self (Anuradha/Saturn theme of growing and learning survival in another realm) -- but his release comes with the cost of the creatures from the board game being brought into the real-world to wreak havoc. The movie is just a bit similar to Inkheart, in the element of two different worlds colliding; as in Inkheart, the character Silvertongue brings a fictional villain into the real world which leads to a series of dangerous events.

The film "Jumanji" is directed by Joe Johnston who has Rahu in Uttara Bhadrapada and the movie is based on a children's book with the same name written by Uttara Bhadrapada Moon Chris Van Allsburg.

The animated film "Caroline" is written and directed by Anuradha Sun Henry Selick, based on the book with the same name which is written by Pushya Moon author Neil Gaiman.

This story follows a young girl, voiced by Pushya Moon Dakota Fanning, who finds a secret hidden door in the new home she just moved in with her parents. This doorway leads to a parallel world where her 'Other mother' and 'Other father' seem so loving towards her as compared to her real parents who neglect her and are always so busy.

Her 'Other parents' are so attentive to her every desire but as Caroline explores this very twisted reality, she discovers just how sinister 'Other mother' is and the world that was once so perfect to her was actually designed as a trap to keep her there (4H themes). Despite this film having the Anuradha outline of the native finding a doorway to another world, this trope of the evil mother is literally Pushya-coded. Actually, I'll quickly touch on this as this is what I got so far regarding Pushya:

In the film "Tangled", Rapunzel -- voiced by Pushya Moon Mandy Moore -- has been continuously manipulated and exploited by her mother figure, Gothel, who has designed the tower, with which they lived in, as a way to trap Rapunzel in so that she never leaves her side, so that she'll continue exploiting her for the rest of her life. Very obvious that these are Cancer/4H themes mixed together with Saturn -- making the mother the oppressive figure in this Saturnian's life.

I find it interesting that Pushya Sun Gypsy Rose literally identified herself with Rapunzel, having even once said that "Tangled" is her favourite movie. It makes so much sense with what her mother put her through, she literally is Rapunzel in the real world if you think about it.

There is a movie already out that's based on her life events, and she is of course played by a Pushya Sun actress Joey King, in the film "The Act".

Anyways back to Saturn nakshatras being otherwordly; the author of "The Shadowhunters" books is Pushya Sun Cassandra Clare.

There are two media adaptions of her books, and it is fitting that they both star Saturn nakshatra women playing the same character, 'Clary'. At the start of the story, Clary is able to perceive creatures, symbols and buildings invisible to the regular human's eye. She is then involuntarily pulled into a whole new world she didn't think possible, and her character grows from there as she befriends different beings.

In the series version, Anuradha Sun&Moon Katherine McNamara portrays Clary. And the film version, Uttara Bhadrapada Sun Lily Collins plays Clary.

Clary, in the beginning of the story, being able to perceive what any other human couldn't pick up on and being played by both an Anuradha and an Uttara Bhadrapada makes a lot of sense. Anuradha is the truth seeker and Uttara Bhadrapada's deity contains the truths of the world. In the film "The Golden Compass", a young girl discovers a fascinating device, called Golden Compass, which can reveal the truth and answer to any question asked of it.

Any truth she seeks, the answer is always so close. The truth will be easily perceivable to a gifted Saturn nakshatra. The movie of this film is directed by Anuradha Sun Chris Weitz.

Now, my last example. The film "The Neverending Story" is directed by a Ketu in Uttara Bhadrapada native Wolfgang Petersen. The story follows a boy who becomes immersed with a fantasy storybook.

This boy faces hardships in his reality; not only is he bullied at school but he's also experiencing the grief from the loss of his mother. In this film there is no secret doorway that leads to an otherworldly adventure, but the boy becomes deeply engrossed in the fantasy book. He finds himself deeply connecting with the fictional characters, and especially with the events in the book to such an extent that his own life starts to literally intertwine with the storybook.

His life begins to not only reflect but also impact the events occurring in the book. The line between his real life and the story literally becomes blurred. This being a theme in Anuradha which emphasizes the bridge of humanity between other worlds and our "real" world.

Anuradha builds a bridge between extremes that most people don't care to consider in their personal lives. Being under Saturn makes it feel impossible to physically overcome hardships and it is in this nakshatra that there is a theme of finding solace in imagination, but also building oneself from imagination as reality/circumstances can make it impossible to grow. This is a profound lesson from all Saturn nakshatras, but this is the main theme for Anuradha being ruled by the 8H. It is the 8H that makes us go within and explore our own realms and face the shadows of our subconscious mind to come out transformed & elevated -- thus rising above circumstances we were once powerless in. In Anuradha, innocence and purity is retained despite how destructive the 8H/Saturn and the reality it creates is. Again, going right back to the lotus growing in the still, muddy waters.

[deception-united]

Are there proper ways to write characters spiraling into violent madness without going full Hollywood stereotype?

Thanks for asking! Here are some tips:

Research: Before writing about madness, research various mental health conditions and how they manifest. Understanding the nuances of conditions such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or psychosis can help you portray the descent into madness more realistically.

Show the descent: Instead of suddenly plunging your character into madness, show a gradual decline. Start with subtle changes in behavior or thoughts that become increasingly erratic over time. This gradual progression will make the transformation feel more believable.

Internal conflict: Explore the internal struggles of your character as they grapple with their deteriorating mental state. Show the conflict between their rational mind and the irrational thoughts or impulses taking over. This can create empathy for the character and make their descent more compelling.

Symbolism: Use symbolism and metaphor to convey the character's mental state without being too literal. Show their inner turmoil through imagery, dreams, or hallucinations that reflect their psychological struggles.

Character complexity: Avoid portraying the character solely as a "madman" or "madwoman." Instead, develop them as complex individuals with hopes, fears, and motivations beyond their descent into madness—or that consume them and drive their descent. This will make them more relatable and humanise their struggle.

External triggers: Explore the external factors contributing to the character's descent into madness, such as trauma, stress, or societal pressures. These triggers can help contextualise their behavior and add depth to their storyline.

POV: Consider using multiple points of view to provide insight into how other characters perceive the protagonist's descent into madness. This can add layers to the narrative and highlight the impact of their actions on those around them.

Avoid clichés: Steer clear of clichéd tropes commonly associated with madness, such as talking to imaginary voices or engaging in random acts of violence for no apparent reason. Though these are symptoms for some, it can be helpful to focus on depicting the unique experiences and challenges faced by your character.

Humanise the consequences: Show the real-life consequences of the character's actions, both for themselves and those around them. This can include the emotional toll on loved ones, legal repercussions, or the character's own feelings of guilt and remorse.

Subjective narrative: If you're writing from the first person perspective, immerse the reader in the character's deteriorating mental state by crafting a subjective narrative that reflects their inner turmoil and warped perspective. Use vivid, sensory language to describe their experiences, conveying a sense of dazed confusion, spiraling thoughts, and disorientation. Make use of fragmented thoughts, disjointed imagery, and stream-of-consciousness techniques to create a narrative that feels almost like a fever dream, drawing readers into the character's unraveling psyche. By making the reader feel as if they are experiencing the madness firsthand, you can create a more immersive and impactful portrayal of the character's descent.

Hope this helped! Happy writing ❤

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[phant0mth1ef]

please won’t you push me for the last time?

-

a genetic mutation.

you’d sat still in the doctor’s office, doctor garaki, as he’d explained why your quirk had suddenly been malfunctioning since your last visit. the same visit where you’d been poked and prodded for some routine vaccinations.

limitless, a quirk that allowed the user to manipulate the space around them willingly. a quirk that you’d been so lucky to acquire. that was until a blue orb appeared around you, sucking the contents of your room into-, well, you weren’t exactly sure what to call it.

and here you were, standing alongside principal nezu as he’d lead you to his office. something to do with urgently needing to talk to you.

he’d opened the door, allowing you to get yourself situated in a chair as he’d held the door open. only closing it once he’d seen you were ready to go.

“yes yes, welcome miss l/n. have you a clue why i’ve brought you into today?” the sound of him sitting on his chair filled your ears.

“not in the slightest.” you’d answered truthfully.

“i’m afraid, we can’t have a student at ua with a quirk like yours.” he’d left you speechless.

“unfortunately, it’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen. and well-, we, alongside the hero public safety comission have deemed your quirk to be un-herolike.”

-

that was a year ago now, and yet you’d remembered it like it was yesterday as you stood side by side with shigaraki, your old classmates staring you down as if they couldn’t believe what you’d become.

your eyes were bloodshot, the strain that “blue,” and “red,” as the doctor had called it, had shown the toll it had taken on your body. constantly tearing you down and forcing you to work your way back up with each timed you’d used it.

getting kicked out of ua didn’t make you mad. no. it’d upset you, yes, but you weren’t mad. what made you mad was the fact that they’d called shigaraki the symbol of fear, not you.

you’d been blatantly disregarded in this fight, their forces so obviously being used on shigaraki as you stood there, laughing to yourself.

who the hell were they to determine your worth as a villain?

you’d had an ace up your sleeve. a card that nobody, not even shigaraki, had known existed.

“y’know.” you’d spoken up, nobody bothering to pop their heads up to where you stood.

“you’re gonna regret ignoring me like this. see i found out something strange about my quirk.”

their eyes couldn’t be taken off shigaraki, not even for a second.

“did ya’ know that if i combine red & blue, i could create a form of mass. it’s imaginary, but when you think about it, it’s basically real.”

no heads were turned, their disregard for you so evident.

“i call it hollow purple, because well you know the space is imaginary. it’s hollow. and red and blue combined? it’s so obvious.” a hang dragged along you face as you smiled, your monologue starting to gain some attention from nejire & amajiki.

you’d found shigarakis main body as you guided all the energy in your body down to your core, ready for the way that your organs would react. the way your bones would break themselves.

but to go down as the greatest villain in history? the chance was too good to pass up.

“imaginary technique: hollow purple.” eyes suddenly turned towards you as the purple light engulfed the enclosed space, nobody on the outside was able to see anything.

your body had been thrown against the barrier at tremendous speeds, the contact between your body and the electromagnetic fields nearly shocking you to death as you’d landed.

hollow purple was a name those involved in the fight would never forget, the chills that filled their body unmeasurable.