#real snackers rise up

[supercoolsuperqueer]

I AM A MOTHERFUCKING MACHINE <- guy who's scrolling tumblr on pc and snacking at the same time

[mamamittens]

Had a funny thought for my Ambiguous Intent AU (Hitman OP au shipping with OC specifically) where Thatch, during his stalking phase, ends up finding where she lives.

While looking around to get a better idea of what kind of a person she is, he discovers a few things!

She's got a bit of organized chaos going for her. A sort of lived in kind of clutter that fills bookshelves with knickknacks places with care and lined with dust. But the trash is taken out regularly and messes tidied frequently.

Her wardrobe is mostly casual with a few formal pieces. Some old, clearly nostalgic clothes she's never tossed despite not really fitting anymore. Eclectic and old jewelry.

Hell of a physical media collection. Clearly enjoys owning movies instead of streaming. Delicate glass and porcelain figurines on her higher shelves. Many music box types.

It's interesting. He wasn't sure what he expected to find. Perhaps he hoped for a dirty secret or two. A secret double life or criminal leanings. But no. She's pretty normal if quirky. She clearly doesn't aim for a theme so much as meander to it by happenstance.

The most interesting part is her pantry.

Probably the most interesting to him, professionally.

Clearly, she's more of a snacker and cheap meal kinda gal. And he's not judging!

...mostly.

The spaghetios cans are a little offending to his senses, but the ramen beside them makes it clear this is something she's had for years while being broke. Frugal, cheap, and filling.

He gets it... Can't say he was much better in culinary school, ironically. The taste passable at best.

And he can do so much better! Will do, actually!

This is probably where it first starts tipping from planned murder to intended seduction. A simple, unstated challenge.

Impressing her enough she could never go back to her cheap ramen and knock off, mass products spaghetti alternative. He wants to ruin her for paltry fare and raise all her standards from the bog it sits in. Wallowing in it, in fact.

He will ultimately fail, on account of these being comfort foods. And few things can dethrone a comfort food. But she will love his cooking anyway.

He'll pretend he is neither offended nor already familiar with her kitchen when they wind up cooking a meal together at her place.

His own, shared with Izou at least in this city, is a bit ritzy. One of a dozen familiar, modern high rise condos his family owns the building for outright. Modern and a tad empty on account of this location being a backup for when they need to lay low.

It's cleaned while they're gone by someone in the family. Just a quick dusting and cycling the fridge contents to ensure nothing rots while keeping it stocked. No real home or life in it until Thatch starts bringing home affectionate gifts from Nikia. Silly trinkets and things she got that reminded her of him. And eventually Izou.

It was far from his favorite. A lake house in the deep sticks built by their father is actually the favorite. But this one ends up growing on him greatly for all the memories it winds up holding.

Including the few times they tricked her into sleeping over. It was hard to pull off, but he likes making breakfast for the three of them. With a bit of subtle encouragement, Nikia was quite affectionate, if quiet, in the morning. Once she knew they wouldn't be offended or creeped out by the, frankly, cat-like affection. Mainly rubbing her face on their shoulder or leaning against them.

Very begrudgingly, he's got a case pack of ramen and a few cans of spaghetios in their pantry for her in case she's over while he's gone.

He'd rather she ordered out, honestly. He didn't care about competition for his cooking prowess!

Unless it came in a can or a plastic bag at least... Izou tells him to stop being dramatic, but he won't.

Thatch can make something ten times as healthy and delicious as cheap ramen any day of the week!

[noreasonjustbored]

The Truth Is The Scariest Part

Hi! I’m here with something that no one requested but the concept was stuck in my head because I’m Chenry Trash.

If anyone wants to be tagged whenever I upload a fic, please respond to this post and I will do that going forward. Hope you enjoy!

———————————

Everyone had given it a shot and told their best scary stories to no avail. Henry was still unbothered and bored sitting in the Story Tank. After Piper took her turn, she went back to the table with Charlotte and Jasper to help them put Henry’s steaks back into the Bromaha box. They wouldn’t be needing them.

“Can I take this thing off?” Henry whined.

“No you can not!” Ray exclaimed.

“UGHHHHHHHHH” Henry groaned. “Just face it Ray, I won this challenge.”

“I will not face anything! I WILL be chowing down on those delicious steaks.” Ray declares.

Henry simply rolled his eyes in response.

“Well I have a story for you, but it’s not mine” Schowz says with a sly look on his face.

“Okay? What’s the story? I’m sure that I won’t be scared.” Henry replies with the utmost confidence.

“Charlotte told me a great story earlier this week about a guy.”

“Alright. What’s the story about? This guy a ghost or something?” Henry asks.

“No. Just some guy in her class. And he is definitely alive.”

What’s so scary about a guy in Charlotte’s class? Henry thought.

“Who’s alive?” Ray wonders.

“Just a boy that Charlotte was telling me about. She says that he’s super cool.”

Through the immersion, Henry sees an image of Schowz and Charlotte on the Man Cave couch.

“So what did you want to talk to me about Charlotte? A new device? An update for a old device?”

“No, I just wanted to tell you about this super cool guy.”

“Oh, alright girl. Tell me more. Spill the coffee as you kids say.”

“You mean tea?”

“Tea, coffee they both have caffeine. What’s up with this boy? Is he your boyfriend?”

While Henry is in deep thought and not paying them any attention, Schowz walks over to the Story Tank monitor to check on Henry’s Fear-inol levels. The levels were rising slowly. 

I knew that would work! I’m a genius! Schowz thinks to himself.

He looks over at Ray and gestures to the monitor with a slight nod in its direction. Schowz then gives Ray a wink to signal for him to play along. Ray winks back to let him know that he understands.

They’ve both noticed that Henry has been a little more attentive to Charlotte than usual lately. Standing over shoulder while she’s at the console, invading her personal space, bringing her food from the AutoSnacker, riding in the same tube with her when Jasper takes the other. He is not subtle at all. He definitely has a big, fat crush.

The entire interaction goes unnoticed by Henry who is still pondering Schowz’s earlier statement. Charlotte thinks that someone is cool? That’s new. She usually thinks that everyone is lame. Including me. Is this a real guy? 

“Charlotte said that? What else-” Henry clears his throat and tries but fails to sound nonchalant, “Uh, what else did she say?”

“Are you guys talking about Brayden?” Ray cuts in. “Because Charlotte also mentioned this guy to me. She went on and on about how handsome he was” Ray adds helpfully.

“Ray, guess what?”

“What?”

“I think that I know someone who could beat you in the Handsomest Man in Swellview Competition this year.”

“Blasphemy! No one can beat this face!”

“Nope, I really think he could win.”

“Oh yeah? Who is this guy?”

“My friend Brayden.”

“Show me his picture.”

Charlotte pulls out her phone to show him.

Schowz checks the monitor again, there was a spike in Fear-inol AND Urinol after Ray backed his play. Ray walked over to the monitor and saw the increase as well.

“Henry doesn’t stand a chance” he whispers quietly to his shorter friend.

“Absolutely not.” Schowz agrees.

Brayden? Debate team Brayden? Charlotte thinks he’s cool? And handsome? She said that he barely brought anything to the team except for a pretty face. I thought that was an insult to his intelligence. But maybe it was a compliment on his face?

“Did Charlotte tell you about her date with him?” questions Schowz.

Date? What date? Charlotte is dating Brayden now? When did that happen? Why am I just hearing about it?

“Um, they’re going out? Like in real life? And she told you this?” Henry asks disbelievingly.

“She suuuuure did. I heard he was taking her out this Saturday” Ray says with a goofy grin on his face.

Fear-inol levels were now reaching the precipice of the Startled Zone but weren’t quite there yet. Schowz motions to Ray to keep going, letting him know that their scare tactics were working.

Henry takes off the helmet and whips his head over to Charlotte who is sitting at the table with Piper talking animatedly. Jasper is now at the auto snacker ordering more candy and popcorn.

I wonder what they’re talking about. Is it about this so called “date”? Does Jasper know too? Am I the only one who didn’t know? Why didn’t she tell me?

“That-that’s cool. Charlotte has a date. What’s so scary about that?” Henry plays it off but there is a glistening of sweat forming on his brow bone.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought that you’d want to know. Put the mask back on.”

Henry follows the direction without protest. It’s as if he’s in sort of a trance.

“Yeah Henry, isn’t Saturday you and Charlotte’s official Movie Night night?” Ray asks.

In the Story World, Henry and Charlotte are in his room watching movies when they hear a knock on the door. After going downstairs, Henry answers the door to see Brayden standing there with a small bouquet of daises that he hands to Charlotte. She takes the daisies and gives them a big whiff before passing the flowers off to Henry. With a big smile on her face she turns to Henry and says, “Don’t wait up”. She then walks out the door hand and hand with Brayden. Henry is left alone looking down at the daisies.

“It is.” Henry muttered glumly.

“Weellllll, she’s gonna miss that. I heard that they are going to Nacho Ball.” Schowz adds.

Back in the story world, Charlotte and Brayden are sitting on the same side of the booth talking and giggling. They seem to be in their own little world. Charlotte wipes some nacho cheese off the corner of Brayden’s lip with a napkin. They actually look good together.

Henry feels sick to his stomach. “She hasn’t cancelled movie night for this weekend, how do I know that you aren’t just saying this to bother me?” Henry questions Ray and Schowz.

“She probably just hasn’t gotten around to it yet. Too busy thinking about her date with Brayden.” Ray mocks.

“Bother you? Does the fact that Charlotte has a date bother you?” Schowz inquires.

“Uh, no it doesn’t bother me. Why would it?” Henry mutters while scratching the back of his neck.

“You tell us Henry? Are you upset that Charlotte is going on a date?” Ray asks while stepping closer to the tank.

“Psssh, what? No. I’m just upset that she’s going to miss movie night.” Henry says nervously.

“Really?” Ray countered, squinting at Henry in suspicion.

Henry mustered up all his bravado and put it into the next word, “Really.”

“Well I’m sure if you ask her, she’d be willing to reschedule the date for earlier that day.” Schowz suggests as he checks Henry’s Fearinol levels again. The levels are now in the fully in the Startled Zone and creeping to the precipice of Scared. Schowz mouths to Ray, ‘Almost there’.

“Good. And then at movie night, Charlotte can tell you ALL about her date and how great it was.” Ray taunts.

Henry sees a vision of himself and Charlotte in the living room while Charlotte chatters excitedly about the date she just got back from. They haven’t watched one movie yet. They had been talking for an hour about Brayden.

“He was such a gentleman Henry, I think I really like him. He’s so cute and smart and nice and handsome and tall and kind. And did I mention that he was handsome?”

“You sure did Charlotte. Only about a hundred times.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited that Brayden asked me out. And we’re going on another date tomorrow. I hope we last.”

“Me too” Henry replies in a false cheery tone.

“I wonder if they’ll kiss? What do you think Ray? Think they’ll kiss?” Schowz questions.

“Oh definitely. One thing I know about is teenage boys. I used to be one not too long ago! If I was this guy, I’d definitely shoot my shot. Charlotte’s a catch.”

“True. She’s so smart and pretty. What guy would turn her down?” Schowz adds.

“I don’t know. A chump probably” Ray alleges.

“Do you think that Brayden is a chump Henry?” the foreigner probes.

Now the Story Zone shows Brayden and Charlotte in front of her door after the date.

“I had a great time tonight” Brayden tells Charlotte.  

“Me too” Charlotte answers shyly while looking down at her feet.

“Hey Charlotte?” Brayden whispers.

“Hm?” she says while looking up at him.

Instead of responding verbally, he looks into her eyes and tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Stepping closer, he glances down at her lips and looks back into her eyes that are locked onto his. They both start leaning closer to each other.

Right before imaginary Charlotte and Brayden touch lips, Henry rips the helmet off his head. He’s breathing harshly and looks uncomfortable.

“That’s enough! I-I’m good” Henry rasps out.

Checking the monitor, Henry’s Fear-inol levels were offically in Scared terrority now and steadily increasing. His heart rate is also off the charts.

“Ha! I knew that I could scare you!” Ray gloats.

“I started it. It was my story” Schowz whines.

“Yeah, yeah yeah. Give me those sweet, sweet steaks!” he walks over to the table to collect the meat and then goes through the sprocket door. 

Henry gets out of the Story Tank while Schowz chases after Ray. “I thought we were supposed to be sharing those!”

Sighing, Henry looks over at the table to see only Piper sitting there on her phone. It looks like she hadn’t moved in quite some time.

“Where’d Charlotte and Jasper go?”

“They went upstairs awhile ago to help some customers.”

“Oh okay. Nice. So were you on your phone the whole time or....?”

“Yeah, I’ve been in a Twitflash beef with Jana Tetrazinni for the past thirty minutes.”

“Cool cool cool cool,cool.”

“Still totally heard the fact that you were scared by Charlotte going on a date in a fake scenario.”

“I wasn’t scared! And fake scenario? What do you mean fake scenario? Char’s going out with Brayden this Saturday isn’t she?”

“Uh no dude. The only reason those guys even know about Brayden is because Charlotte was complaining about how he almost made them lose a debate this week. She hates that guy” Piper says as she gets up from the table and walks towards him.

“Oh.” Henry says with obvious relief.

“Yeah, ‘oh’. You need to go and ask her out before you give yourself an aneurysm. I’m not visiting you in the hospital” Piper says sarcastically and pats him on the arm as she passes.

“Ha ha very funny Piper. I don’t see Charlotte like that, we’re just friends.”

“That’s not what your Fear-inol levels say buddy.”

[sebastian-thorne]

About Sebastian Thorne.

I’m a hammer from hell, honey, can’t you tell? I’m the wild one, yeah, I’m the wild one.

basic information

Full name: Sebastian Thorne Nickname(s) or Alias: He likes to be called Seb or ‘Bas, he’s a fan of nicknames. Gender: Cis male Species: Muggleborn Wizard Age: Twenty Five Birthday: March 27th Zodiac Sign: Aries sun, Aquarius Moon, Capricorn Rising Sexuality: Bisexual Nationality: British Religion: Agnostic City or town of birth: Bristol, England Currently lives: London, England Languages spoken: English Native language: English Relationship Status: Single

physical appearance

Height: 6′2 Hair color: Brown Hairstyle:  He usually doesn’t do anything to his hair and will often just mess it up with his hands before he goes somewhere. He keeps it usually on the longer side but will often go to get it trimmed so it doesn’t get too shaggy. Facial Hairstyle: He can get pretty scruffy on his cheeks and upper lip but he won’t keep it for more than two days then it’ll get shaved off. Eye color: Blue-Green Tattoos: A red dragon on the side of his neck, closer to his collarbone Piercings: N/A Scars/distinguishing marks: He has a few scars on his forearms and biceps from Auror raids and his failed short-lived quidditch career. Preferred style of clothing: Sebastian is a very casual dresser and usually wears loose t-shirts, jeans, and flannel shirts. Frequently worn jewelry/accessories: None

health

Smoker?: N/A Drinker?: Yes, he’ll have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner every now and then. He doesn’t really go out of his way to get drunk unless he’s had a particularly stressful day. Recreational Drug User? Which?: Not frequently, he’s not against smoking weed every now and then. But wouldn’t go out of his way to do it. Addictions: Caffeine, he needs it to function like a normal human being. Allergies: N/A Neurological conditions: N/A Sleeping habits:  Sebastian goes to bed oddly late and wakes up early, he loves getting an early start on the day. He sees sleep as a waste of time, so, he’ll usually just stay up until his eyes physically can’t stay open anymore. Eating habits:  He does love to eat and really doesn’t care if it’s unhealthy or not since he says he’ll just work it off anyways. Sebastian is also a big snacker and he always keeps snacks at his desk at work. Exercise habits:  Sebastian really enjoys working out especially since he usually has some pent up energy that he needs to get out. He usually works out at least five days a week even if it’s just jogging. Emotional stability:  He is definitely low on the ranking for emotional stability, he is a very passionate man and often lets that get to him. He never, ever makes a decision based on logic it’s almost always emotion based. Sociability:  He is quite the outgoing guy and really loves talking to new people but he also enjoys having his alone time more often than not. Body Temperature: Very warm

personality

Label: The Miscreant Positive traits: Focused, hardworking, passionate, independent Negative traits: Impatient, hard headed, argumentative, vindictive Character Alignment: Chaotic Good (A chaotic good character acts as his conscience directs him with little regard for what others expect of him. He makes his own way, but he's kind and benevolent. He believes in goodness and right but has little use for laws and regulations. He hates it when people try to intimidate others and tell them what to do. He follows his own moral compass, which, although good, may not agree with that of society.) Goals/Desires: To change the way the wizarding world treats/views muggles. Likes: Going to quidditch games, a raid going successfully, having a drink with his buddies, taking his dog for walks, and usually people that end up being bad for him Dislikes: Blood purists, not being listened to, seeing any kind of injustice, not being able to help people Fears/phobias: Sebastian hates enclosed spaces the thought of it makes his skin crawl. His real fear is that he’ll never be able to see his parents or muggle family again with the way the rules against muggles are going in this current age. Favorite color: Maroon Hobbies: Exercising, singing (poorly), hiking Habits: Sebastian has a really annoying habit of humming and he does it very, very loudly. He usually doesn’t notice that he’s doing it until someone tells him to knock it off. He also makes notes for everything, his desk is crawling in post-it notes. Taste in Music: His favorite is 60′s-70′s rock and also some country music but only if it’s Orville Peck.

skills

Talents/skills: Sebastian has very few skills or talents but one of them is that he’s able to hold his own in a fight, especially one that doesn’t involve magic. He’s also a pretty decent dueler and a quick thinker. Ability to drive a car? Operate any other vehicles?: Yes, his parents were adamant about teaching him when he would come home from Hogwarts during breaks. He has his own car and loves to drive it around, especially when he has Dude in the passenger seat. 

eating habits

Omnivore/Carnivore/Herbivore (Vegetarian): Omnivore Favourite food(s): Anything cheesy and unhealthy but cheese fries are his favorite. Favourite drink(s): Redbull, redbull vodkas, and coffee Disliked food(s): He’s not very picky but he’s not fond of sushi, the raw fish freaks him out  Disliked drink(s): Green tea and most kind of tea in general

house and home

Describe the character’s house/home:

Sebastian lives in an apartment in London, a regular run of the mill one that has muggle residents. He doesn’t mind at all and usually makes small talk with them if he sees them in the elevator.

He has a two bedroom apartment, he says one room is for Dude but it’s supposed to be his “office” although it doesn’t get much use as that. His apartment is a little snug but the perfect amount of space for him and his companion. It feels very homey and he always some kind of spicy candle burning.

He loves his home and spends a lot of his free time there, it’s just his time to unwind. His kitchen and living room are connected which is extremely helpful so he doesn’t leave anything burning while he’s watching his shows.

Do they share their home with anyone? Who?: Only his pup. Significant/special belongings: His only special belonging is a framed picture of him and his folks right after he graduated Hogwarts.

career

Level of education: Hogwarts level education. Qualifications: Wizarding diploma, and Auror diploma. Current job title and description: Auror: trained to investigate crimes related to the Dark Arts, and to apprehend or detain dark wizards and witches. Name of employer: Ministry of Magic.

combat

Peaceful or aggressive attitude?: He is definitely very aggressive with his words and his actions. As soon as he feels like he’s being threatened he bristles up and is quick to get on the angry track. Sometimes he can be talked down but if he’s really ticked off, it’s hard to get him back to a calm state. Fighting skills/techniques: He’s a relatively skilled dueler but he definitely prefers an old-fashioned fist fight.  Special skills/magical powers/etc: He can do some basic healing spells but that’s only if he or his comrades need it. Weapon of choice (if any): His wand and fists. Weaknesses in combat: Getting him in any kind of situation where he won’t be able to strike back with brute force. His dueling is doable but it’s not the best, he could be overpowered. Strengths in combat: He has a very high stamina and could go in a fight for quite a while, he’s also relatively quick on his feet.

family, friends and foes

Parents names: Patrick and Lydia Thorne Are parents alive or dead? Both are alive. Is the character still in contact with their parents? Sebastian used to be able to visit home as much as he wanted. He’d go home for holidays, birthdays, and when he just missed seeing his parents. But now because of the muggle laws, it’s definitely been harder for him to be able to get away to get in a visit. He still tries to keep in contact with them as much as he can. Siblings? Relationship with siblings?: N/A Other Important Relatives: N/A Partner/Spouse: N/A Exes: Children: None Best Friend: Hunter Finch-Fletchley Other Important Friends: Roxy Weasley, Alastor Lestrange, Molly Weasley Acquaintances: Pets: A golden retriever named Dude Enemies? Why are they enemies?: Blood Purists and Death Eaters, he thinks their logic is idiotic and backwards. The fact that people still believe in that proves that things in the wizarding world need to change.

backstory

Describe their childhood (newborn - age 10): Sebastian had a very loving and normal childhood, something he wouldn’t change for the world. His parents spent almost every second that they could with him when they weren’t working. He’s their only child but he wasn’t spoiled by any means since they were just reaching middle class at the time. Not that, that was something Sebastian ever had any kind of thoughts about. He played with all of the neighborhood kids and was always coming home with a bruised knee, bloody elbow, but a huge smile on his face and something new to tell his parents. 

Describe their  teenage years (11 - 19): When Sebastian Thorne found out he was a wizard he just felt as if everything had fallen into place. Not to say he wasn’t absolutely terrified by the idea at first, as far as he knew nobody in his family could do magic and he had no idea how his parents would react to the news that their only son was apparently a wizard. Luckily for Sebastian, his parents were absolutely thrilled. They told him over and over again that they always knew there was something special about him and that he was destined to do amazing things. Which did scare him just a little bit since that was quite a lot to tell an eleven year old but it also did really inspire Sebastian to try his hardest when he was at Hogwarts.

While he was in school, Sebastian definitely got along well with a lot of the other students. He wasn’t Mr. Popular but he did have a solid group of friends there especially within the Gryffindor house. However, Sebastian wasn’t quite as popular with his professors since he wasn’t one to shy away from a fight or any kind of altercation. He was definitely one for defending any of his friends that were a little too shy to do it themselves. Even if it meant landing himself in detention with a black eye or a split lip. His parents told him time and time again that he could still support his friends without getting in fights to defend their honor but that never really seemed to stick in his brain.

But as Sebastian got older especially when he began his fifth year, he knew he had to change something. He knew he had to find some kind of career once he got out of Hogwarts and getting into fights and detention wouldn’t exactly help with that. When he was younger he was hoping he’d end up being a gifted flyer so he’d be able to play on a professional quidditch team. But as it turned out, Sebastian hated flying and was also awful at it. Which was when he discovered being an auror, he knew it’d requite a lot of work and focus but he was determined.

Describe their adult years (20+): Sebastian soon after was able to call himself an auror and he was over the moon about it. His parents were excited for him too, of course, although they weren’t particularly sure what his job meant. They tried to though and that was enough for him. Once Sebastian began his job it was definitely way different than he thought it was going to be, more paperwork and it was extremely dangerous. The first few raids didn’t exactly go according to plan but Sebastian couldn’t deny he loved the rush he got when they actually caught somebody. It was exhilarating and they were doing something good, a two for one.

But the longer that Sebastian was in his position the quicker he realized how corrupt the wizarding world really was. There were blood purists and Death Eaters working right under their noses, who looked so smug when the muggle bans were passed that Sebastian thought he was going to lose his job that day. He knew he needed to do something but what was there for him to do? That was around the time that Sebastian found the Crimson Allies, a group he really connected to on a deep level. He knew that joining them was the right decision and was the way to get the wizarding world to change. 

[henry-hart]

I have the big writer’s block so I don’t have much but uhhh how about some good ol fashioned squad fluff with ray and the kids?

OKAY I HAD THIS ALL TYPED OUT AND IT WAS PERFECT BUT THEN MY LAPTOP FREAKING REFRESHED THE PAGE AND I LOST IT. HHHHHH

I hope I remember it well enough

(I feel that writer’s block frustration. It’s a mcfreakin’ pain in the butt, my dude.)

I made it a little goofy as well as fluffy bc I really like the comedic dynamic of HD. I hope you like it!!!! :)))))

I just got back from a beach trip, so let’s go with that

it’s summer in Swellview and it’s crazy hot

that summer heat is taking no prisoners

Ray is down in the Man Cave and everytime the elevator opens up, it lets out all the hot and stuffy air from the store

he’s all “no. nope. not happening. I’m here sweating when I could be on the beach sipping from a coconut with one of those frilly umbrellas. this is unacceptable.”

he calls Schwoz and the kids and tells them he’s taking them on a spontaneous beach trip

he says he wants them to come with bc he doesn’t want to be alone and look like a creep

but it’s really bc he enjoys their company and wants them to have fun

he sends the kids home to get ready while he closes shop

“Can Piper come?” “Who’s Piper?” “My little sister, Ray.” “Aw, no. Is she that little loud girl?” “I guess she can be loud? Anyway, can she come or not?” “I feel like saying ‘not’ would make me a bad person but I really don’t want to say yes….” “Come on, man.” “UuuuuUUUggggGGGGhhhHHH fine. Paper can come.”

they all pile into Ray’s car

the ride there is a bit chaotic bc the beach is 45 min away and the car is cramped and it’s hot and no one can agree on a radio station to listen to

“Henry, I’m not going to say it again. Move. Over.” “Piper, I’m not even touching you.” “You’re about to touch me.” “Are you kidding me?” “No, I’m not.” “Where do you want me to move? There’s only so many seats in the car.” “I don’t care. I can feel the heat coming from your gross body.” “Okay, I’m not gross, for one, and I would scoot over if Jasper would get in his seat.”

“I already told you I can’t be by the window. I get carsick.” “Then why did you choose the window seat?” “Because I get claustrophobic in the middle seat.”

“Henry, I’m gonna kill him.” Char overhears and intervenes. “Hey, Piper, why don’t you sit with me on the way back?”

Ray heard all of their bickering, so he rolled the top down to cool them all off

as soon as they got to the beach, Schwoz shot out of the car blurting out something about having to pee

Ray packed food from the auto-snacker (sandwiches, chips, fruit, etc.–things he thought the kids would like), so he grabs the ice chests full of food/drink while the kids get their stuff

there isn’t too many people on the beach, so they don’t have a problem finding a quiet spot

Char x Piper get Hen to take pics of them right where the waves meet the sand

Piper posts them with captions like “beach day with my best-ay” and some lyrics about summer

she even takes a few with Hen for their parents

Jasper brought wayyyyy too much sunscreen

“I don’t joke about my skin care. Skin cancer is not a joke. Do you think I maintain this ivory color by not using sunscreen?”

Piper agrees with him bc she’s fair-skinned too

Hen doesn’t like it too much bc he doesn’t like how it feels, but it beats sunburn

Ray, however, won’t use it.

“I’m indestructible. The sun is no match for me.” “It’s literally a ball of fire in the sky.” “Psh. I’ve had worse.”

the kids don’t agree with him, but they know arguing is futile so they let it go

Hen brought a beach ball and some paddles with a matching little ball

the Harts used to go to the beach a lot, so Hen had a lot of stuff to choose from

he and Piper team up like they used to when they were younger and together they are un-beatable

like

no one else wins. at all.

they have this ridiculous handshake/victory dance they do every time they win and it’s so over-the-top (like Ross x Monica’s new years dance routine for you friends fans)

even Ray thinks it’s a bit much

Char x Jasp have no idea what to think

they’ve never seen Hen like this

“I always thought Piper was the scary one.” “I know. Did you see Hen’s face when I scored a point?” “He looked like he was going to kill you.” “Yeah, and Piper looked like she was going to help him get rid of any evidence.”

(I like that little ride or die sibling bit ajksjslksj)

Schwoz comes back from the restroom and Ray scoops him up, running to the water to throw the little man in

everyone joins in

the tide is pretty rough and Ray’s a little worried

esp for Char and Schwoz and whatever her name is bc they’re all pretty short

Hen is chasing Jasp x Piper, pretending to be Jaws

a pretty big wave comes and washes over all of them

Hen x Jasp are okay bc they could just easily stand up but Piper is a lot shorter

Hen starts freaking out when she doesn’t come up

Ray is worried too

he sees the little girl and immediately yanks her out of the water and into the air

“Paper! Paper! Are you okay???”

she swallowed a good bit of nasty saltwater that burned her throat/nose, but she’s okay

“It’s Piper.”

Hen sighs in relief, moving the hair out of her face. “She’s fine.”

they take a break from the water for a bit to eat lunch

Ray unpacks the food he brought for them

Hen x Jasp eat their lunch on an inflatable unicorn inner tube :)

Piper takes some more pics of the gang eating

she records a snapchat video of Hen being attacked by a swarm of seagulls after his sandwich

he takes off down the beach after them but gives up, hoping the birds at least enjoy it as much as he did

he doesn’t bother asking Pipes to delete it bc he knows she won’t

after lunch Hen x Char go off alone to collect seashells

Hen finds a really pretty spiral shell to give to his mom

Jasper tries to get Ray to at least put on a little sunscreen, but Ray is still being ridiculous

Piper is flying a kite, but Schwoz keeps pestering her about using a new device he created that’s supposed to make the kite fly ten times higher

she lets him do it just to shut him up, but it goes wrong

the string gets cut, and her favorite kite flies away just like the birds did with Hen’s sandwich

she’s furious

Ray jumps between them just in time

a second later and Schwoz would be pummeled

“Look, Paper, I know he’s an idiot, but I kind of need him, so if you could just not kill him, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Its. Piper.”

Hen x Char return from collecting shells and everyone gets back in the water

he won’t let Piper go out in water that reaches any higher than her stomach (she put up a fight but she agreed, not wanting to drink anymore disgusting water)

Jasp x Hen played a game where they’d wait for a big wave and then turn around so that they could fall backwards into it

a fish brushed against Schwoz’ leg, and he tried to jump up on Char to get out of the water

she just dropped him so the he ended up going under right where there was a school of fish

Ray let Char x Piper get on his back so he could tow them around

he also picked them up so he could toss them into the water (playfully, of course)

a fish nibbled Jasper’s foot, and he wanted to catch it so he could bring it home as a pet

no one could catch it, and there was no way of telling which fish it was

Hen got a pretty gnarly sting from a jellyfish, so they all decided it was time to get out of the water

the sun was beginning to set anyway so the others weren’t too upset about getting out 

there was still some food left over from lunch, so Ray made a little campfire and they all ate a light dinner

they watched the sun dip down below the horizon line

the sky turned dark

Ray reached behind his back and pulled out a surprise: s’mores

Hen’s leg was still hurting so Ray handed the s’more fixings to Piper

“Here, Piper. Why don’t you make one for Henry?”

she just stared at him, shocked that he had used her real name for the first time

she didn’t say anything 

she just took the food from Ray and made her brother a s’more just the way she knew he liked it: marshmallow extra crispy, chocolate extra gooey, and graham cracker as is

Ray smiled to himself, knowing Piper’s reaction was bc he’d remembered her name

he didn’t call any attention to it though, knowing neither of them wanted that

they ate their s’mores in comfortable silence

Char noticed Schwoz was smiling mischieviously

“Schwooooooz…..why are you making that face?” 

he just giggled and produced a small guitar from behind his back

everyone groaned

“What? What? Why the not happy sounds?” Ray just rolls his eyes. “Because, Schwoz, no one wants to hear you play.” “Why? What’s wrong with my tunes?” “Your ‘tunes’ sound like a dying cat.” “So does your singing, but I never tell you you can’t.”

he plays anyway and…he’s actually…..really….good???

“Schwoz, where’d you learn to play like that?” “I had lessons.” “When? You never leave the Man Cave?” “………from Lelani….”

Char keeps Ray from jabbing Schwoz with his hot s’mores stick

Schwoz keeps strumming away while they all sit around the campfire, listening to it crackling, listening to the waves crashing against the shore, watching the light flicker on everyone’s faces, watching the smoke from the fire rise up the the stars

the kids almost fell asleep, but Ray got them up and in the car, deciding it was time to go home

he let them get seated while he packed everything up

the kids did fall asleep on the drive home

Ray kept the hood down so the cool night breeze makes its way to everyone

he finds an alternative station that’s playing a slow, soft, hypnotic song that’s perfect for night drives

he keeps checking on everyone in his rear view mirror and smiles big when he sees them all sleeping soundly in the same seating arrangements that had caused problems before

Hen x Piper are leaning against each other when they’d been complaining about being too close before

Jasp is propped against the window, no longer needing to worry about getting car sick since he’s sleeping

Char even let Schwoz use her as a makeshift pillow despite the fact that he drools

Ray turned the radio up a little bit

he drove on under the yellow street lights in the quiet night, listening to the quiet pulsing song, feeling perfectly content and happy

it had been a good day 

bonus:

Ray wakes up the next morning and screams at the top of his lungs

he’s as red as a stop sign

he got sunburned after all (just as everyone else knew he would)

“Sun: 1 Ray: 0″

[beermanoftana]

1-100 for that ask game, answer them all

YOU! I like you.

1. What is your favourite television show from the 80′s?

Mork & Mindy for the early 80′s and The Golden Girls for the late 80′s.

2. Favourite television show from the early 2000′s?

Is The X-Files still counted?

3. Favourite television show from the 2010′s +?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

4. Who is your favourite female television character of all time?

Eve French

5. Who is your favourite male television character of all time?

Thomas Magnum

6. Favourite television show of all time?

The X-Files

7. If you could watch one t.v. show for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

8. Favourite television soundtrack?

All Power Rangers opening theme songs

9. Favourite guest-star appearance on a television show?

Robin Williams in Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

10. Least favourite character on your favourite television show?

I cannot believe that I’m going to say this but I’m going with Bobbi Morse from Agents of SHIELD. Bobbi is not the Bobbi in that show. Completely destroyed. I love Bobbi, I really do. But in SHIELD? Nooooo.

11. Favourite character on your favourite television show?

Dana Scully from The X-Files if we’re going with favorite show.

12. Best cliff-hanger?

Even though the show wasn’t picked-up for a second season, I love the clff hanger of Flash Forward.

13. Saddest death scene?

Jo and Ellen Harvelle in Supernatural and Juliet Burke in Lost.

14. What television show would you like to be a regular on?

I’d love to be in Supernatural honestly.

15. What television show would you like to guest-star on?

I’m meant to be the main star.

16. A show that you hate to love?

That Walking Dead from season 1 to 5 (I hate the rest for real).

17. A show that you love to hate?

Arrow

18. Name an episode from a show that you will always remember?

That Teddy’s Treehouse episode from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Scarred me. Continuing to scar.

19. Name an episode from a show that you wish didn’t happen?

Beth’s death episode from The Walking Dead.

20. Spin-offs: yes or no?

Depends on the character/s.

21. A show that you started watching but then stopped? What was the reason?

I’ve watched a lot but I probably stopped after watching one episode already so I’ll go with The Walking Dead. First, Beth died. Second, they legit stopped making it about the walking dead. I understand that there are still baddies in a zombie apocalypse but really????

22. Name a show that means something to you, and why?

Agents of SHIELD. It’s the first show that made me realize “OMG. I love watching television shows.”

23. A show that you find relatable to your life?

Kahogo no Kahoko. DO YOU KNOW WHY??? She’s 21 (I’m 24 though, and I watched it just a few months ago) and very protected from the real world, is close to her mother and she fraternal twins in the end??? Something I’ve always wanted when I have kids???

24. A show that makes your cringe?

Can’t think of one right but I’m sure there’s something. Wait, let me think...Arrow.

25. Favourite television villian?

The Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files

26. A show that you will continue to re-watch over and over again?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

27. Name a show that had the worst series finale, in your opinion?

Arrow. I don’t watch it but ew.

28. What is your favourite movie from the 80′s?

Ghostbusters II

29. Favourite movie from the 90′s?

Se7en and Clueless

30. Favourite movie from the early 2000′s?

13 Going on 30 and Harry Potter 1 & 2

31. Favourite movie from the 2010′s +?

INCEPTION

32. Favourite movie villian?

Norman Bates from Psycho

33. Who is your favourite male movie character of all time?

Oliver Wood from Harry Potter and Peter Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia

34. Who is your favourite female movie character of all time?

Ariadne from Inception

35. What is your favourite movie of all time?

Inception

36. Favourite director?

Christopher Nolan

37. Favourite series/saga/triology, etc.?

Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia

38. What’s your favourite universe?

Harry Potter universe

39. Favourite comic-book movie?

Sky High??? Or Captain America: Civil War

40. What’s your favourite disney movie?

Brave

41. Favourite pixar movie?

Rise of the Guardians

42. What’s your favourite animated movie?

Is Christopher Robin counted?

43. Best voice-casting, in your opinion?

Lea Salonga as Jasmine and Mulan

44. Is there a movie that you could watch over and over again and not get tired?

Inception, Harry Potter 1 & 2, and The Chronicles of Narnia 1 (and a bit of 2 & 3)

45. Name a movie that made you cry uncontrollably?

Piglet’s Big Movie and Christopher Robin

46. A movie that had you laughing throughout it’s entirety?

Night at the Museum (all)

47. A preview/trailer of a movie you saw and thought “I HAVE to see that!”?

Joker

48. Rom-com’s or drama?

Rom-coms because drama makes me sad

49. Thriller’s or comedies?

Both, you cannot stop me

50. Horror or psychological?

Psychological horror

51. Your favourite book adaptation turned movie?

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

52. Your favourite actor?

Liam Neeson

53. Favourite actress?

Amanda Seyfried

54. In your opinion, a well deserved Oscar win?

Liam Neeson

55. Favourite Oscar speech?

I haven’t watched many Oscars :(

56. Most memorable movie ending?

Inception

57. A movie death that shocked you?

Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s in Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For

58. A movie you thought was going to be good, but wasn’t?

Oz: The Great and Powerful

59. Biggest Oscar upset, in your opinion?

Not sure :(

60. A movie you hated but everyone else loves?

Titanic

61. Do you cry during movies? 

YES

62. Do you prefer classic movies, or new movies?

New

63. In your opinion, the best character casting?

Ellen Page as Ariadne and William Moseley as Peter Pevensie

64. Think of a movie you really love, how many times have you seen it?

Inception

65. Do you like to re-watch movies you’ve seen before?

Yes

66. Have you ever been to a midnight screening of a movie?

No :(

67. Ever attended a movie premiere?

No :(

68. An actor you love that nails it in both television & film?

Robin Williams

69. An actress you love that nails it in both television & film?

Ellen Page

70. Why is your favourite movie, your favourite movie?

Because it’s so...just such a beautiful movie that is so underrated in a way that people don’t actually think about what’s happening.

71. Movies based on real life/facts or made-up stories?

Made-up

72. Your favourite movie genre?

Comedy

73. A movie that made you feel proud?

Smaller and Smaller Circles

74. A movie that scared you/made you paranoid?

Pretty much ever horror movie

75. An Indoor movie theatre or outside drive-in?

Indoor movie theatre

76. Are you a snacker/drinker during movies?

Candies and water or just a soda/flavored drink

77. Where abouts in a theatre do you prefer to sit (front, middle, back)?

Back

78. If you could have a role in any movie ever made, which movie would it be?

Ariadne

79. An underrated movie, in your opinion?

The Purge: Election Year

80. An overrated movie?

Divergent series

81. A movie you felt attached to after watching it?

Christopher Robin

82. A movie that was relatable to you and your life?

Dumplin’? I mean, I’ve got an “okay” body frame but the life story? Pretty much (minus Bo, there is no Bo)

83. Name a movie that made you go “wow” after watching it?

Inception

84. Action-packed movies or lots of dialogue?

Both, it’s hard to communicate without the other

85. Fantasy movies to normal life movies?

Depends on my mood

86. Have you ever walked out of a theatre mid-movie? What was the movie?

Nope

87. Tell us about your worst movie experience?

I was watching Into the Woods and OMG the person beside me just kept making fucking comments

88. Have you ever spoiled a movie for someone by accident?

I have been spoiled but I never spoiled

89. Ever spoiled a movie for someone on purpose?

Same answer as above

90. Tell us about a movie that made you feel all the feels?

Piglet’s Big Movie because he really tried and he did *I cry*

91. Pick a movie, any movie. Now tell us your favourite scene?

Anytime Peter says “For Narnia/For Aslan!”

92. What’s the perfect movie time/length? 

2 hours and maybe 20 mins

93. Do you get bored easily during movies?

Nope

94. The worst acting you’ve ever seen in a movie?

Wow. Probably almost every Filipinx actor trying to be cute or cool. I’m from the Philippines guys.

95. Can you think of a movie where one scene had ruined the whole thing?

Mmmm. Not that I can at the moment. Ah! Steve Trevor being alive again. I know it hasn’t happened but ugh.

96. Are you a “tommy texter” during movies, or a “shhh-ing susan”?

Definitely “shhh-ing susan”.

97. Think of a positive movie experience you will never forget?

Not exactly a movie experience but when I was 18, I got tickets for me ad my mom and the one manning the booth was like, “You have to be 16 to watch.” “Oh, I’m 18.” And then when we were entering the place itself, the guard asked “Ma’am, how old are you?” “I’m 18.”

98. A movie or performance you thought deserved an Oscar nomination?

Inception.

99. Best movie soundtrack?

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

100. A block-buster movie that deserved all of the hype & more? 

Inception

[andrea-cristina-travel-blog]

15 useful things you should know before visiting Swedish Lapland

We didn’t know a whole lot about Swedish Lapland before we went there. In fact, other than flat pack furniture, meatballs, and pop supergroup ABBA, we’ll admit that we basically knew nothing about Sweden more generally prior to arriving into Arvidsjaur on a chilly Autumn evening in early October. As it turns out, there is much to discover in the Arctic north of Sweden, and it doesn’t all involve icy tundras and snow days. There’s a rich culture, wild natural beauty, and a deep love of the outdoors unrivalled by any other destination we’ve ever visited. Whether you’re thinking of visiting Swedish Lapland yourself (you should!), planning a trip, or simply looking for some travel inspiration, here’s our guide to the things you should know before you go! 15 IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE VISITING SWEDISH LAPLAND  THE SCENERY IS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING Swedish Lapland is one of Europe’s true untouched wildernesses. Nature here is raw and powerful; think endless pine and birch forests, lichen-carpeted forest floors, roaring waterfalls that tumble for kilometres, and peaceful lakeside villages dotted throughout the landscape. It’s a beauty that, uniquely, exists year-round too. In Autumn, leaves are licked with burning colours, clearer days bring soft sunshine highlights, and the elusive northern lights begin to dance across the skies again. Winter lays out a thick snow blanket on the rolling fjälls (mountains) and valleys, transforming the region into the sparkling wonderland of childhood stories. Spring and summer breathe new, green life as berries and wild mushrooms sprout from the ground, birds sing sweetly, and the skies glow pink with midnight sun. READ UP ON SAMI CULTURE BEFORE YOU GO The Sami people have existed in the Arctic region for thousands of years, and Lapland – called Sápmi in their own language – is their heartland. They belong to one of the oldest indigenous peoples on earth and have a language and a rich culture all of their own. The Sami way is to live off the land but never to exploit it; hunting, fishing, and gathering from nature is in their blood, but so is resourcefulness, and utilising every single part of nature’s gifts to survive. Not every person who lives in Swedish Lapland has Sami heritage, but understanding this unique way of life and how it inspires every day Arctic life today is important. Read up before you go, and spend some time learning about their culture while you’re there (the Silver Museum in Arjeplog is a great place to start!). REINDEER ARE AN INTEGRAL PART OF LIFE HERE The Sami people have been reindeer-herders for thousands of years, and each year, those who still herd them migrate with their animals through Lapland and to the coast. The reindeer are still an extremely important source of income for the indigenous population. For everyone living in the Arctic Circle today, Reindeer are a form of transport, their meat is basically a superfood, and their skins give life-saving warmth in the cold. THERE ARE 8 SEASONS IN SWEDISH LAPLAND “Most visitors to Swedish Lapland think in just the regular 4 seasons,” our Swedish host, Annika, smiles over dinner one night, “but actually, we really have 8”. Here in Swedish Lapland, nature is more intrinsically linked with human life than in any other country we’ve encountered (except, perhaps, for those that live in the high mountain villages of Nepal). For centuries, the indigenous Sami population existed in complete harmony with nature to survive, their calendar finely attuned to their surrounding wilderness and its transitions. Today, that same sensitivity to the changes in weather and landscapes is still very much a part of the culture for locals. Annika counts out the changes using her hands; four points for the regular seasons, and taps the webbing between her fingers to show the in-betweens: True Autumn // Sami: tjaktja (September – October), full of vibrant colour and crisp air.  This is the time for restocking food stores and the start of the real hunting season, mostly of elk and moose. The Northern Lights also begin to dance from now until the midnight sun takes over in early summer. Autumn-Winter // Sami: tjaktjadálvve (November – December): this is the early winter season. Snow begins to dust the landscapes, the days get shorter, and the region begins its transformation into a magical winter playground for kids young and old. True Winter // Sami: dálvve (December – March): the whole region draws up its thick blanket of white and settles in for the next few months. But while much of the flora and fauna slumber in hibernation, this is when humans enjoy a buzz of activity; skiing, snowshoeing, reindeer and dog sledding, and snowmobiling through the snow, while the frozen lakes become a playground for car enthusiasts who flock to drive race cars on the thick ice. Temperatures can reach -40c now, so it’s not for the faint-hearted (or cold-blooded)! Spring-Winter // Sami: gidádálvve (March – April): Ask locals what their favourite time of year in Swedish Lapland is, and watch as their faces light up talking about March and April. The snow still lies thick and heavy but the sun has returned to ice-blue skies to spread warmth across the plains again. Longer days and rising temperatures mean getting outside for winter activities is even more enjoyable – and it’s warm enough sometimes to stretch a reindeer skin out on the snow and sunbathe! True Spring // Sami: gidá (April – May): Winter retreats during these months, melting away into the rivers and lakes. Green returns to the hills and valleys and the blossoms of wildflowers start to appear again. The reindeer-calving season also means cute little reindeer calves with wobbly-knees are a common sight. Spring-Summer // Sami: gidágiesse (May – June): Lapland explodes with green life again. The trees unfurl fresh leaves, the forest floor is thick with ferns and moss, and it’s time to trade the snowmobiles for hiking boots and bikes, and take off for mountain adventures True-Summer // Sami: giesse (June – July): Summer arrives in all her glory now, and it’s time to reheat your bones after the colder months. The sun barely dips below the horizon for a few months now, lingering in the skies all night. Locals shrug off their winter coats to bathe in the lakes, enjoy barbeques outside, and lap up the warm summer air. Summer-Autumn // Sami: tjaktjagiesse (August – September): the first signs of cooler months start to appear, as berries and wild mushrooms ripen in the forests. Gold and red begin to inch across leaves, and animals (and humans) start to gather food to restock their larders for the cooler months. COFFEE IS MORE THAN JUST COFFEE IN SWEDEN Before leaving for Swedish Lapland, we’d heard about a coffee there called fika. Naively, we’d believed it to be a particular type of coffee. Perhaps a special roast, or a unique take on the humble cup of joe, à la Vietnamese style with condensed milk? What we discovered during our time there, is that fika is actually not a type of coffee at all, but a wonderful social construct: the art of enjoying a proper coffee break. It’s always accompanied by a delicious baked good (like our host Annika’s homemade Rhubarb muffins!), and it’s all about slowing down, savouring the moment, and appreciate the good things in life. “Functioning as both a verb and a noun, the concept of fika is simple. It is the moment that you take a break, often with a cup of coffee, but alternatively with tea, and find a baked good to pair with it. You can do it alone, you can do it with friends. You can do it at home, in a park or at work. But the essential thing is that you do it, that you make time to take a break: that’s what fika is all about.” – Anna Bromes and Johanna Kindvall, Fika: The Art of the Swedish Coffee Break SWEDISH LAPLAND IS REALLY REMOTE In the UK, where we currently live, it’s unlikely you could drive for more than 30 minutes without entering the fringes of a new town. In Swedish Lapland, this is much closer to two hours. It’s the feeling of travelling through such a remote, unexplored corner of the earth that gives Lapland so much of its beauty and charm. The region sprawls over a massive 109,702km2, and that’s not even factoring in the parts claimed by Finland, Norway, and Russia. What’s more, the total population of Swedish Lapland is only 326,000. To put this into some kind of perspective for you: the community of Arjeplog is roughly the size of Montenegro and is only inhabited by 3,000 people. It’s also home to three rivers and 8,727 lakes (including Sweden’s deepest), which means there are more than two lakes for every person living in the area. STOCK UP ON SNACKS BEFORE YOU GET IN THE CAR If you’re a chronic snacker (like Mim!), be sure to stock the car with some drive-time snacks and water for longer drives. The lack of dense population sprawl means that when travelling between communities you won’t find much other than forest berries or wild mushrooms to snack on. You can take your chances on these, but as the locals say – some wild mushrooms you can eat many times, and others just the once! IT’S BASICALLY A BIG PLAYGROUND, FOR KIDS YOUNG AND OLD Mention Swedish Lapland and most people have a vague idea of dog sled rides, skiing, and the chance of seeing the Northern Lights. Heck, before arriving in Swedish Lapland ourselves, that was basically all we knew too. Well, it turns out that the region is far more than just dogsleds and skiing (though these do feature heavily). Basically, if it involves getting outside and into nature, those canny Swedes have come up with a fun way to do it. From racing expensive cars on frozen lakes to snowmobiling your way into nature, kayaking rivers to hiking the rolling hills, and slow cooking classes to cultural museums – there’s something for everybody here, in every season. RUG UP, REGARDLESS OF SEASON Swedish Lapland is wild, unpredictable, and even the locals will tell you that nature leads the way in this part of the world. When it comes to preparing yourself against the elements, the best advice we can give is to always have gear to rug up in – no matter the season. In Winter, Lapland gets cold. Really cold. We’re talking  -42c kind of cold. It probably goes without saying that the average tourist is pretty unprepared for conditions like these. Do your research and pack accordingly. In Summer, temperatures can (and do) get up to 28/30c, but the average is still only between 14-17c, and when we travelled in early Autumn the temperature was already starting to drop well below 10c. Warm gear is still an essential packing item, so at the very least make sure you have a pair of thermals, a thick jacket (or down jacket for the cooler Spring and Autumn months), and wind/waterproof gear. And on the topic of weather…. ALWAYS PACK WET WEATHER GEAR IN YOUR DAYPACK After a few days of generally gloomy and very wet Autumn weather, it was a welcome surprise when we peeked out our hotel window to see clear skies and golden rays of sunshine dancing on the roaring Storforsen waterfall below. Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, I spotted my gore-tex jacket hanging by the door and, ever the over-cautious one, made a last minute decision to stuff it into my pack before we headed out. When the heavens opened and the rain started pouring again as we sat around a campfire later that day, it turned out my decision had been a perfect one.  The lesson? Like the temperature, the weather can be unpredictable here no matter the season – pack your wet weather gear in your day pack and you’re always prepared. CLEAN DRINKING WATER IS LITERALLY EVERYWHERE Swedish Lapland is home to thousands of lakes (not to mention plenty of snow and rain!), which means that clean drinking water is accessible just about everywhere you go. Bring a reusable drink bottle and fill it full of clean, fresh, natural water wherever you are. Just make sure that the water is flowing to protect against any illness! THE LOCALS ARE EXTREMELY FRIENDLY When you travel to a new place, it’s really easy to come home and exclaim to your friends that the “people there were the nicest people, everrrr”. It’s kind of a strange thing to say when you think about it, considering that the majority of humans the world over really are nice, normal people. The thing is though, the locals who call Swedish Lapland home really are some of the most wonderfully friendly, welcoming, and generous people we’ve encountered on our travels. We were welcomed into their homes, greeted everywhere with warm and genuine smiles, taught about the flora and fauna, taken on incredible hikes, kept nourished with coffee, cake, and delicious meals, and treated like friends every single day. Perhaps it’s because the whole region has the feel of a small rural town – the kind where people actually smile at each other in passing and stop for a chat – or because being so close to nature every day has mellowed them out completely. All we know is that every interaction with the locals left us feeling warm and fuzzy inside, and that’s a pretty special thing. DON’T JUST GO FOR THE NORTHERN LIGHTS Of course, one of the greatest attractions for travellers to the arctic circle is the elusive Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights). For good reason too, the light show is one of mother nature’s greatest spectacles. But planning your trip solely around the potential of seeing this nocturnal rainbow in a region whose weather is as unpredictable as the lights themselves… well, it’s just kind of silly and setting yourself up for disappointment. To see the lights, you need a perfect storm of clear skies, solar flares or winds, no light pollution, and a sprinkling of luck. We had none of these during our time there, thanks to constant low-hanging cloud, despite our Aurora forecast app telling us activity was at it’s strongest. Thankfully, because our days were so jam-packed with fun activities, we really barely noticed. Go for the destination and everything it offers and let the lights, if they happen for you, be a magical bonus. SWEDISH LAPLAND IS ACTUALLY REALLY EASY TO GET TO It’s hard to imagine that a world like Swedish Lapland actually exists just a mere few hours from the bustle and chaos of  London’s doorstep. But it does, and we were pleasantly surprised to discover that it’s certainly not an arduous travel journey. The main airports are Lulea, Skellefteå Airport, and Kiruna, with SAS and Norwegian Airlines servicing them. We actually flew from Heathrow into Arvidsjaur (via Stockholm), and out of Lulea (via Stockholm) back to Heathrow, and found the entire trip to be a breeze. If you’re looking to fly direct, flights operate between Heathrow and Kiruna with Discover the World, or from Birmingham to Kiruna via FlyCar. Now you have no excuse not to go! In fact, why not check out flights on Skyscanner now? WINTER IS PEAK TOURIST SEASON – BUT IT’S NOT THE ONLY TIME TO VISIT Winter in Swedish Lapland is enchanting, there’s no doubt. Even the locals we spoke to harboured a soft spot for the powder months and the activities they bring. But skipping out on travel there during the warmer months is, frankly doing the area (and yourself!) a disservice. In fact, visiting in Spring or Autumn, when the winter travellers have drifted home and the weather is warmer can be an equally magical time. Mountains bursting with colour, beautiful hiking and cycle trails, lake fishing, gorgeous towns, and stunning nature (ripe for berry and mushroom picking!) await travellers during these months. Want to go to Swedish Lapland yourself? Or have you been and think we’ve missed something? Share your stories and tips in the comments below! Thinking of visiting Swedish Lapland? Read these posts for inspiration! 25 incredible photos that will make you want to visit Swedish Lapland FOLLOW OUR ADVENTURES ON FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER | PINTEREST LIKE THIS POST? PIN AND SHARE IT!  JOIN OUR TRIBE & WANDER WITH US Join 30,000+ people and receive travel stories, tips + hacks, and stunning photography to inspire your wanderlust. Straight to your inbox We hate spammers. We'll never be those people. A big thank you to Visit Sweden, Swedish Lapland, and each individual operator who hosted us during our stay. As always, all views are our own.   The post 15 useful things you should know before visiting Swedish Lapland appeared first on The Common Wanderer.

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