#reading the raven boys again <3 the blocking of this scene was insane to me

[twolovelyberries]

crushed and broken. just the way women like them

[someplace-that-is-else]

A Beautiful Mind Doesn’t Get You Dates: When a Writer Sees Himself in His Writing

 Editor’s Note: This blog contains some spoilers from the Darkened series (Darkened Soul, Darkchilde, Book 3, and other books)

 My eyes were widened in shock.

 The setting? Facebook. I was in a chat with a former co-worker. Usually one of us was drunk when the other one messaged. And as another friend had told me once…alcohol was like a truth serum.

 So, I don’t know what surprised me more. The fact he just revealed that he read my books…something he had never mentioned in all the time I knew him. Or the fact that he said I had a beautiful mind.

 On one hand it was a moment that made me go ‘awwww.’ On the other hand, it brought up a really good point. If I had a beautiful mind, then that meant that I was a nice guy. That meant that I probably had a good sense of humor. That I could hold a conversation.

 It was also the equivalent of ‘wow! You are really nice. How are you single?’

 A Writer Deals

 Sometimes writing could be thankless. Whether you were a successful writer, a part-timer, or a person just starting out, there would always be a long period of time when you were by yourself. Alone. Writing.

 Sometimes it could be a cool thing. Like for example, right now there was a scene in Book 3 that had been elusive to me. Why? It had to do with my main character.

 At the end of Darkchilde, it was revealed that Daniel, the main Nosferatu from Darkened Soul, had been resurrected by a witch’s spell. He had been the practice run for the person who the witches had wanted to resurrect: Daniel’s nemesis Ursula. While Daniel’s sister Ebony and others were focused on stopping her return and failing, Daniel had been stolen away by ancient enemies the Forryn.

 And had fallen for Eli, one of the leaders of the Forryn.

 After some ‘will they, won’t they,’ Daniel managed to escape from the Forryn’s base. In the second section of the novel, Daniel encountered someone who remembered him: the Nosferatu Michael. They grew closer because Michael allowed Daniel to know truths that Eli never told him. But in the chaos at a human summit, Daniel was snatched up again. Eli finally found Daniel in the third section.

 This scene could not end well for them. It had to touch on their attraction for each other. At the same time, the scene had to emphasize their differences. Daniel was a Nosferatu, male, and an amnesiac who wanted answers. Eli was a Forryn, only could mate with women, and had not given Daniel a lot of answers. Of course, now he wanted to, but it was too late. There was of course the Michael element, leading to the typical jealousy. And then there was the prophecy that Daniel had a role to play in…how would that affect them?

 And this all had to come out like a normal argument.

 For scenes that I felt that I was going to need to dive deep into to give it a rhythm, I usually needed to find a lot of time to just sit and write. Anyone who knew me or had been reading my blogs knew the odds of that.

 However…I had. Slowly, but surely…time became available. And as it became available, I started to work on it. And boy was Daniel and Eli not making it easy. LOL!!! So, I took a break from it for a few days. As I was working on it one day, I asked myself…’Torre, what was the big difference between them?’ If you found it, the scene would truly click. So I thought about it as I went about my day. And I thought about it.

 Then…it clicked.

 By this point of the novel, Eli came alone to find Daniel. Forryn travelled in packs. So, Eli was giving up all that he knew to be with Daniel. Meanwhile, Daniel had finally gotten the answers he had been wanting from Michael. So how could he trust Eli now when he had never given him what he had wanted? How could I relate that?

 Then…it clicked for me why I had such a problem with this scene. At the same time, I realized why I now had a triangle in my book when originally I had not planned a triangle for Book 3. I had been here before.

 With the former coworker who said I had a beautiful mind.

 Damn.

 Mirror Lives

 This had happened before.

 I was writing Darkchilde. It was the second section. The Nosferatu Ebony and Nicholas had just arrived in the airport in futuristic London. Part of the plot had been that Ebony continued to be under attack by witches. Before she could figure it out however, a power vacuum had occurred in London so that was why they were there. But even at the airport, Ebony was attacked.

 And then….enter Victor.

 He literally swung and rescued Ebony from her latest attack. I was writing it, but I was in shock. Who was this long raven-haired Latino Nosferatu that I had no idea would appear, fully formed with thick accent and swagger to boot?

 Nicholas was none too pleased.

 So was part of me.

 I suspected that maybe he was some character that was in my subconscious who was loosely based on someone I knew. Someone who I had unresolved thoughts with. And in order to make the drama between Ebony and Nicholas more realistic, I added a spoiler. After all, the biggest issue between Ebony and Nicholas in the novel was the truth issues they had due to their past when they were humans. Now add someone from Ebony’s past…a Nosferatu to boot…who knew her VERY well? Uh oh.

 Later on, Ebony and Nicholas met in person the ancient Nosferatu Antonio. Truly insane, Antonio was acting regent until the community could decide on a new Nosferatu leader: vain recurring character Titania, upstart Alexander…or Victor. On top of being insane, Antonio also had the ability of foresight, seeing future paths and sensing things. So, he tried to read all the characters to see if there was a traitor in their midst.

 ‘In time. Those boundaries are there for a reason. They will fall for the same. Simply…in time.’

 It was something so simple. It was during Antonio’s scanning of Ebony and Nicholas. It was the wording. It triggered something in me. First of all, Victor was not who I was thinking he was in my subconscious. Worse he was someone else I knew. Who I thought Victor was loosely about…was actually Nicholas.

 Two relationships that were going on. Two relationships that had gotten mirrored in my characters. I had not even realized that I had a bit of a triangle in my personal life at the time.

 I jumped right out of writing the scene.

 Well…damn.

 He’s Drawn to the Dark Things…

 Was this ability to spin things currently going on in my life a sign that I could spin a good tale? Or a bad omen?

 In my own life, Mr. Beautiful Mind had me on block on social media, a case of both of us being uncomfortable with our feelings as well as too little, too late. That was a similar theme that plagued the other two guys who inspired Victor and Nicholas in Darkchilde. I fell out dramatically with one while the other one was again the combo of uncomfortable feelings and bad timing. Moreso because by the time he wanted to have a talk about our feelings, I was dating someone else. So…he simply left.

 Funny that when real life was not going my way or some situation cropped up, that it would creep into my writing. It was like it got to play out with many possibilities. A game.

 Or perhaps it was as simple as the fact that I was drawn to the dark things. As a kid, I loved fantasy. And I started writing by writing a fantasy kid book. Then in junior high, I met someone. The feelings they awakened in me were feelings that I was not at all ready for. And my life darkened. My writing reflected it by becoming darker. Think Alanis Morrissette’s first cd.

 And where my writing chose to go! Consider…

 What was versus what is was definitely present in Darkened Soul. The flashback in the second section in 2048 Paris was a Daniel who was darker with little remorse in direct contract to the Daniel who was the narrator in present futuristic London who had regrets as well as brooded a lot.

 Jonathan in Darkened Soul: Jonathan’s Tale started as a passive person who grew into his power. He also became a mask, hiding the hurt of being without the woman he loved…who happened to be the villain of the story.

Ebony in Darkchilde had so many faces, the question became would she allow anyone close to her enough to show her real face? Could she let down her guard?

 I guess I could not pick on my own life if my characters’ lives were just as bad. Right? On one hand, their problems were relatable for vampires at least. In Daniel’s case, well…? After death and return, Daniel was back in Book 3 with no memory of his life before except for visions. Yet…when given the opportunity of having a second chance, would he commit the same mistakes of his past?

 My own characters appeared to also be drawn to dark things. However, I saw that for all of these situations, there was always a silver lining. Jonathan had best friend Fredrick. Daniel had Jared in the past…and was in a triangle now. Ebony picked her man Nicholas.

 Meanwhile all I got was a guy who said I said I had a beautiful mind. I also had enough tales of dating woes that I could fill a book. And have. LOL!!!

 So while I like people who can appreciate that my mind is full of clever ideas, it does not all get me dates. Tales to tell yes. Dates no.

 Speaking of which, back to work. That book was not going to finish itself…

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