#reaction image. that's just a 'stacys dad has got me down bad' moment

[light-wrath-paradise]

This manga is so depressing I feel like I'm dying more and more with every page but it also drops some banger reaction images

[tiny-maus-boots]

Soulmates AU pt 11

Summary:  Inspired by Soulmate(s) au, soulmate(s) au pt 2 , and Soulmate(s) au pt 3 hc by @fandom-heaux . An AU in which everyone is born with a smudged birthmark. As you find your mate in life the smudge forms their name when you’ve made an impression on them. In this world Beca doesn’t realize she has any, let alone three. FYI hc pt 3 is particularly important to Stacie’s reaction to her marks.

As always thank you to my bff and beta reader @chloes-yellow-cup for always encouraging me to continue on.

Stacie

The ride to Chloe’s and Aubrey’s place had been quiet and tense and she knew it was her own fault. It was just hard to look at Beca right then because it fucking hurt. But they were there now, parked across the street from a neatly manicured lawn in front of a duplex condo and something had to be said. Although the house was bright and warm a cold weight settled on her and she half glanced at Beca who was staring out the window watching some kids playing tag. It was now or never and if it were up to Beca it would probably be never. “Beca….”

“Look Stacie. Let’s just…not. Okay?” Beca still wasn’t looking at her but Stacie could read the anxiety in her friend easily. It was little things really, like the way Beca’s fingers twitched in a near compulsive tick. Something Stacie had once thought was amusing but now it tugged at her heart in a way she didn’t quite understand but found herself wanting to.

“I’m sorry Beca.” The other woman turned her head a fraction of an inch in reflex then jerked it back toward the window. Stacie sighed and stared out of the windshield of the car, hands resting lightly on the steering wheel. “Your name took me by surprise. I shouldn’t have been accusatory or whatever.”

“Yeah well my name is taking me by surprise too.” There was a waver in Beca’s voice but she cleared her throat and Stacie wondered just how close to crying she really was. “It’s not like I planned for that to happen or even knew it could. God knows it never has before...”

Stacie turned to look at Beca when she trailed off quietly. No one had to say it out loud but they both knew Beca had tried at least once to love and be loved. It was obvious in the way the small brunette waved her hand dismissively trying to separate herself from the past. Before she could say anything at all Beca wrenched open the car door and pulled herself out and away from Stacie. The heavy door slammed just hard enough to make Stacie wince and she scrambled out after Beca.

“Okay so we have some serious shit to unpack. Both of us. Maybe…maybe we can unpack it together? Or…” She didn’t even know what she was offering honestly, it was mostly a blind fumble to try and fix what she had broken in her stupidity.

“Shut. Up.” Stacie stopped short at the sting of Beca’s words but Beca wasn’t even glancing her way, all her attention focused up the street.

“Seriously? We’re talking here. Hello?” Beca stared and flapped a beckoning hand at Stacie without breaking her focus. With an irritated sigh she walked around the front of her car to peek around a van obscuring her view from whatever Beca was so damn interested in. For a moment she couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing and then the image resolved itself in her mind. All the air in her lungs rushed out and Stacie felt her jaw drop slightly in surprise. “What the…”

“That’s uh, that’s a fox. On a leash.”

Stacie blinked twice and nodded though she wasn’t sure if she was nodding for the actual fox or Aubrey who was leading it down the street with zero fucks given. The blonde sipped an iced coffee from behind big dark sunglasses as she paused to look both ways before crossing the street without even noticing them both standing there gaping at her like idiots. “Yes, yes it is.”

Aubrey opened the front door of the house and stepped inside with her furry little friend and it wasn’t until the door closed behind them that Beca sputtered out her incredulous amusement. “I know I should be outraged or…completely thrown off guard but that seemed…”

“Oddly normal and unsurprising for Aubrey?” Beca gave a slow nod at Stacie’s words still looking at the space the other woman had occupied seconds earlier. Yeah. Anyone else strutting down the street with a fox on a leash would definitely have raised some eyebrows but it just seemed to fit Aubrey. “I’m just gonna say it. That was hot.”

Beca gave her a mild look but didn’t argue it. Stacie started to reach out to Beca though she wasn’t aware she was doing it or even why but Beca’s nose crinkled and Stacie let her hand drop back to her side. “Maybe we should just go in Stacie.”

Stacie gave a nod of agreement and sighed. Honestly she didn’t want to force Beca to talk, it wouldn’t help either of them and really she wasn’t even sure where to begin to apologize for that morning. “I don’t want to lose you.” It wasn’t at all what she was going to say or at least what she thought she was going to say. But somehow it felt right to just put it out there.

“I mean that’s not how you made it sound this morning. Sounded to me like you’re done being friends. And you know what? That’s cool I’m used to that shit by now. So no need to pretend you’re fine with me right now because we both know you’re not. It’s not like I don’t get it.”

“No. You don’t get it. You don’t get it at all.” Stacie crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the hood of the car. “My mom died. Not recently or anything but it happened and when she died so did a part of my dad. So did a part of me.” This wasn’t something she talked about ever, mostly because she never got close enough to anyone to talk about it. She didn’t keep close friends because she never wanted anything to turn into something bigger or deeper than just fucking around. It was just easier for her that way. But now that she had to talk about it, she realized that she wanted to talk about it but it was hard to pull the words out without choking on the hard lump rising to her throat.

“…I’m sorry Stacie I didn’t know.”

She waved that off and cleared her throat before finally meet Beca’s gaze. “The point is, I maybe stupidly thought it was okay to feel things for you because given your situation I figured you’d never be one of my marks. I thought it meant I would get to keep you in my life ya know? Like when shit inevitably gets bad at least you’d be there…”

“Wait. I know your mom passed away and that’s horrible. I’m so sorry. But that doesn’t mean that every mate is going to leave you. Like why would you even think that? Mates are supposed to be your forever home.”

Forever home. It struck a chord with Stacie and she bit her lip before shrugging and looking away. “I have three marks Beca. You saw them. I’m obviously gonna lose them. I’m gonna lose you Beca and it really sucks because you’re like the only person who hasn’t wanted to hang out just so they could fuck me. You just accept whoever I am and I’ve never had that before. But I don’t get to keep you and I think it’s because you’re supposed to be Chloe’s. And hey maybe this is why you don’t have any marks, maybe you’re…” She didn’t even know what she was trying to say so she made a vague gesture that could have meant anything.

It was a lot. She knew that. But they needed to finally put things out there and at least be right with each other before they walked into Aubrey and Chloe’s place. “Are you saying I’m going to die? Oh my God I’m gonna die. I’m too young. Oh Jesus.” Beca’s cheeks puffed out as she blew out a breath trying to wrap her head around the fact that this could mean her death.

“No! No that’s not. I didn’t mean it like that Beca.” But maybe she kind of did. Maybe she kind of thought that was exactly what would happen. Not logically, but somewhere in the back of her mind she was terrified of being like her dad. Half alive with only half a soul just drifting through his days waiting until he could be with her mom again.  Stacie watched Beca pace back and forth as she struggled with thoughts of her own mortality, fingers on her carotid artery taking her pulse with increasing anxiety and felt like crap for putting that on the smaller woman. “Beca… Beca stop. Take a breath, you’re not dying. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make it seem like all that.”

Beca stopped her pacing but still held her hand to her neck, her eyes a little too wide as she nodded quickly. “Yeah of course I mean. This chest pain is probably just gas and I’m not totally having a heart attack right now. Oh God are my hands supposed to be tingling? Oh Jesus am I having a stroke? It’s a stroke isn’t it? Oh my God please don’t let my mother look at my browsing history when I die…I’m blind! Oh God I’m going blind!”

Beca wasn’t blind but she was close to passing out and Stacie took the two long steps to Beca’s side and gripped her by the shoulders. Stacie couldn’t calm Beca the way she had calmed Aubrey the night before because Beca was too far gone in her hysteria for rational thought so she did the only thing she could think of to stop the spiral. She cupped Beca’s face and brought her head up for what she had intended to be a soft brush of lips. For a breathless second they stood there frozen by the sudden intimate contact before Beca pulled back warily.

It wasn’t a deep kiss, or even very long but Stacie’s heart was beating double time and that hadn’t happened since middle school when Peter Galecki had kissed her behind the handball court for the first time. Stacie let out a soft breath and reluctantly pulled her hands away from Beca’s face. “Still blind?”

Beca reached up and touched her lip with her fingertips. “What uh. What just happened right now?”

Stacie chewed her lip a moment and shrugged. “I kissed you because you were hyperventilating and I thought you were going to pass out.”

“Oh.” Beca reached behind her back and scratched lightly and Stacie had to clear her throat and look away because she didn’t think that Beca would appreciate her smiling just that second. Beca gave her a single blink before rushing back for a kiss so deep and full of longing that Stacie thought she might drown in the overwhelming feel of it. The weight and momentum of Beca’s body colliding with hers knocked them back step into the back of the van. It rocked hard enough for the alarm to scream out its annoyance but Stacie didn’t dare let Beca go.

It had been a long time in coming but it felt right and somehow natural, despite the fact that a passing car had just yelled ‘get a room’ at them. Stacie sucked Beca’s lower lip with a gentle tug before resting their foreheads together. And as good as it felt letting the shorter woman melt into her chest it scared the ever living crap out of her. Because she could lose it all and then where would she be? Who would she be?

They didn’t say anything, probably because they were both trying to process whatever the hell was happening but there was something different between them now. And whatever it was, the thing between them, it was almost tangible and living and Stacie could feel it drawing them closer even as she leaned in to catch Beca’s lips in another much softer kiss. “Still dying?”

“Only if you stop kissing me.” Beca looked as scared and hopeful as Stacie felt she couldn’t help but kiss Beca again.

“Guess I can’t stop then, since it’s a matter of life and death and all…” The car alarm chirping loudly startled her before the start of another kiss and Stacie jerked forward almost toppling Beca out of her arms. They stood quickly and parted suddenly realizing that they were still standing at the side of the road in plain view of anyone happening to pass by.

Beca cleared her throat and nodded at nothing just to fill the pregnant silence. “Okay keep it in your pants maybe.” It lacked the usual bitter sting and Stacie smirked to herself at the blush creeping up Beca’s neck and face as she fixed her shirt.

“Sorry not sorry.” Stacie held out her hand tentatively, well aware of the fact that Beca didn’t like touching and had squirmed away from her previous attempts to reach out. She raised her green eyes to meet Beca’s and waited patiently.

After a second of hesitation Beca took her hand in a sure grip, lacing their fingers together. Of course she looked surprised and terrified by it the whole time but it was kind of endearing and Stacie gave Beca’s hand a gentle squeeze of assurance. They stared at their linked hands for a second longer before turning to face Aubrey and Chloe’s house. At least they’d face whatever was coming together. And somehow it felt right to let it happen.