#razel is a huge moron and i love him very much

[youngster-monster]

Razel never imagined himself dying. It just never occurred to him; he’s virtually immortal, and even he if wasn’t he’d probably forget he could die and throw himself in the fray anyway. He just doesn’t have the oversight necessary to envision his own ending.

But if he had ever taken the time to do so, he’s sure he’d have came up with something else than “slowly bleeding out in the middle of enemy territory after failing a rescue missions”.

.

Two days earlier.

The universe always needs saving. It should get tiring, after a while, but Razel thrive on the excitement and adventure. It means he rarely feels the urge to return to the Tower, spending weeks or even months at a time flying from planet to planet, and when he does return it is only for a few days, a week at most.

This time was supposed to be less than that, no more than a pit stop between two missions. But then he got distracted talking to Banshee-44, which mean he was late for everything else on his schedule, and at this point he might as well stay a bit and talk to his other friends while he’s at it.

His first instinct is to seek out Cayde-6 for a bowl of ramen, as is their usual meet-up ritual. But he doesn’t find Cayde anywhere. Not an uncommon occurrence in and on itself: the hunter is notoriously slippery and tends to disappear to check on his caches across the galaxy, so. Not worrying.

But then he goes to Ikora, and she’s just… nowhere to be found, either. He likes to come talk to her when he comes back, Warlock to infinitely-smarter warlock. He’s not a fan of meditation, but she always has tea and a fun story to tell about the rest of the Vanguard as long as he’s not bothering her in her research. She’s also extremely predictable. That’s when he starts to worry.

It’s when he realizes Zavala isn’t in his usual spot that he knows something is really, really wrong. The commander likes to oversee his home, and to be easily found by his troops. He’s always in the same spot.

“Hey, has anyone seen the Vanguard around?”

Another guardian blinks at him, surprised. “You ain’t been around, have you?”

“No, I’ve been-” He stops, not sure how to explain that he’s been running around doing nothing of importance for like, three months. “Busy,” he finishes lamely.

She quirks an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. “Heard a friend of theirs got taken by the Fallen or somethin’? Tower’s been up in arms about it, but the three o’ them has been hidin’ in their strategy room or whatever.”

Oh, that’s not good. Not good at all.

He barely remembers to throw her a thank as he runs off to where the Vanguard is meeting. If one of their friends is in danger… Well.

There’s nothing that he loves more than a good rescue missions.

.

Of course, rescue missions are a lot more fun when they don’t end with a dead target and a soon-to-be-dead would-be rescuer.

It might have gone better if Razel hadn’t gone against direct order by coming here. Ikora insisted that he shouldn’t go; that Jude was unlikely to be still alive, and the mission too dangerous to even try. Zavala had wisely nodded at her words, looking sad but resolute. And Cayde—

Well. Razel can’t read Cayde, because he’s a robot and he’s not that good at reading people. But he knows Cayde has lost many people in his life. As have Zavala and Ikora, actually. He thought, what’s the harm in trying to get one of their friends alive?

He should have listened to them. They’re so much better at planning than he is.

Maybe if he had, Cubix—

Well. Cubix would still be able to get him out of this mess. That’s what Cubix does.

What Cubix… did.

So now he’s stranded in the middle of a Fallen stronghold, with no ammo, his sword broken and lost somewhere along the way and a dead Ghost to mourn over while he’s waiting to finally bleed out.

He’s laying against a broken wall, surrounded by Fallen bodies and the stench of blood and burned flesh. The room is dark, enough to hide him for a little while, but it won’t take long for the rest of the Fallen to track him down and then—

And then he’d be like Jude. Dead and without a Ghost to bring him back.

Because he let his Ghost get killed like a moron—

Pain pulses in his stomach, the dull throb briefly rising to a burning stab in the guts, and he groans. He lifts numb fingers to the wound, clumsily prodding the torn skin, slick with blood. Yikes. He’d cauterize it, but he’d used the last of his power in a desperate bid to save his ass from the Fallen now laying around him. Fat lot of good it does him.

He hisses through his teeth and lets his hand falls again. On its way down it knock against his thigh, bouncing on the small device strapped to his belt.

Oh. Right. He still has that. Communication-whatever, space talkie-walkie. Ikora has him carrying one since the second or third time he went off-grid because Cubix caught some Vex virus and couldn’t communicate with them.

He gives it a poke, wondering if it survived the whole debacle. Must be a whole pint of blood in its casing from the way his clothes are drenched with it.

Unexpectedly, it crackles, the static-y sound of an open channel.

“...lost contact- Wait. Razel?” Cayde, his mind supply, and he feels an odd sense of calm. Nothing can go wrong with Cayde there. Even if he’s not there-there. He just has that kind of luck following him around.

He jumps at the sound of his name and fumbles for the device, managing to unhook it from his belt. He curls around it, mindless of the pain, as if to protect the voices inside it from the Fallen roaming the halls.

“Razel, is that you?”

“Shit- Yeah. It’s me. I’m here.”

“Is that-” Zavala’s voice, quickly covered by Ikora’s.

“Guardian! What the hell do you think you are doing?”

He coughs wetly, giving it an honest thought. “Huhh- Bleeding out, I guess?”

“What-”

Zavala again. “Guardian,” he says in his Commander voice, firm and reassuring. “What’s your status.”

He lets out a shivering breath. “Mission failed, Commander. The target- Jude’s dead. I’m sorry.”

“There’s no mission, Guardian. What’s your status?”

“I’m- I’m out of ammo, and I’m bleeding. It’s… pretty bad, Zav. Gut shot.”

There’s a scuffle as the device changes hands. Somewhere in the distance, someone swears. Ikora’s voice washes over him, soothing despite the edge of desperation underneath. “Why haven’t you been healed already?”

“Out of power. Ghost’s… Cubix is dead.”

“Shit-” Cayde is back. “You really have a gift for getting in terrible situation. Almost as good as mine.”

He manages a weak laugh. “You have a gift for getting out of them.”

“Yeah well, what do you think we’ve been doing? Chatting around tea? We’re on the way, buddy. You’re kinda predictable once you get used to the whole ‘jump first plan later’ train of thought.”

“If you didn’t want me to go head first you shouldn’t have given me a sword.”

It’s an old argument and usually Cayde is fun about it. Today he just sounds tired. “Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“’M sorry.” He blinks, trying to see through the haze settling over his eyes. That’s not going to make his aim better. It’s already terrible when he can see. “I tried to save them, you know? I tried really hard. But I was too slow...”

“You weren’t supposed to try, Raze,” Zavala says gently. “It was too dangerous, too unlikely a rescue. They were ours to grieve.”

“Tried anyway,” he mumbles. He’s just going to close his eyes a bit. Not for long... he’s just so tired.

He drifts off, despite the increasingly urgent calls of his name through the device.

Shots echo in the distance as he claws his way to semi-consciousness. He’s tired, the kind of exhaustion that settles in your bones when you’re dying slowly enough for your body to notice. It’s not the first time it’s happened. Just the first he hasn’t been sure of what would happen afterward.

Maybe the second, in hindsight. Who knows what went in Before-Razel’s head when he died.

There’s a constant hum originating from somewhere around his chest. He gropes around, wincing as it tugs at the wound, and his fingers close around the communication device.

It’s Cayde, mettering under his breath like he does when he’s nervous. The words are covered by shots and Razel is far from his best state, but he thinks he hears him repeat “Don’t be dead” a few times there.

“’M not,” he mumbles. He slides slowly to his side, sprawling over the sticky ground with his cheek smushed against the device.

“Thank the Traveler,” comes the reply, breathy with exertion and something else he can’t make sense of. “Where are you?”

“Dunno. Sorry”

“It’s alright. I’ll just follow the trail of bodies.”

His chuckles turns into a cough. Blood splatters on the ground, more dripping from his lips down his chin. Yikes.

“Shit. Hold on. I’m almost there.”

Odd chatters come from the door, attracted by the noise, and he knows the Fallen have found him. “I don’t think-”

“Shut up. I’m coming.”

The line goes dead. Razel pouts. He’d have liked to hear something else than a bunch of Fallen in his last moments, but then again dying while he’s on the radio with someone else sounds very gruesome and cruel. Better not.

The chatters come closer, skittering steps approaching him — less than a dozen but more than half, maybe. He could take them, if he wasn’t bleeding out. He could…

His thought is cut off as he’s blinded by a burst of golden light. Sparks fly around him, surrounding him. Seven shots ring out, casting the room in stark shadows before fading back to darkness.

Silence.

Then, someone hurries to him and drops to his side. Gloved hands cradle his face and he blinks blearily as the face of Cayde swims into half-focus.

“Razel.”

He goes for a smile, but only succeeds in baring bloody teeth. “You came,” he says, delighted.

“Wha- Of course I did. Ikora and Zavala are just behind me, I rushed in-”

“I didn’t think you’d came,” he babbles on, going from tired right to delirious with blood loss. “Shouldn’t have had t’come, but- but… s’nice. Of you.”

“Of course we’d come. We weren’t going to let you die,” he gripes, fingers leaving his face to settle on his stomach. He immediately misses the touch, and tries to make it clear with a choked off whine. Cayde ignores him, reaching in his pack for bandages.

“I die all the time.”

“You know what I mean.”

He giggles. “Yeah, I kinda do.”

Cayde shakes his head. Softly, he adds. “Friends don’t let friends get themselves killed like idiots.”

“I’m your friend?” Surprised. Then, delighted,  “’m glad t’be your friend. You’re a good friend, Cayde. Ikora and Zavala too but. Y’buy me ramen. Best friend.”

And then he passes out again.

.

Things one forgets when one can be magically healed by a little floating robot: hospitals. They suck.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know you’re our friend.”

Razel looks up from the takeaway ramen Cayde brought him (best friend, he called it) and points accusingly at him with his fork — he doesn’t have the dexterity necessary for chopsticks right now.

“First of all, I don’t know anything. Second-” He blinks. “Hm.”

Cayde shakes his head and pats his shoulder sympathetically.

“Oh, by the way. Cubix should be back online in a few days, so you’ll be healed soon… ish. Might keep him a lil’ while to make up for your dumbass suicide mission.”

There’s a pause as Razel grumbles in his noodles, because. Yeah, that’s fair. Then-

“Wait. Cubix’s alive?”

Cayde’s head swivels around. “Of course he’s- you literally kept his pieces in your pocket. Just had to fix him up a bit.”

“That a thing we can do?”

“You did it with Osiris’ Ghost!”

“Oh. Right.” He hits his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I’m dumb.”

“Don’t worry, buddy. We like you just the way you are. Lonely pair of brain cells and all.”

“Hey!”

Cayde is cackling as he rises to his feet, cape swaying with his steps. He stops with his hand on the door, back turned to Razel.

“But- don’t forget it, alright? You’re our friends. We love you. Don’t be an idiot.”

And then he leaves, because Cayde-6 will never not be allergic to display of emotions.

Razel smiles into his ramen.