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whosthere54 · 4 months ago

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So I need to yell more about Ajax and Rayko so here have this. I had to write about them. I’m going to write even more about them but this is my first thoughts so here take it /lh.

TWs for this are the same as the lore - which is yelling, panic, and violence. I will also say death as a TW for this but if you watched the stream you should be fine. Take care of yourselves <3

“I hope you found what you were looking for 'cause all the pain I carry in my soul is all because you left me here alone” - Song: God’s not home by TROY

Or - A brother’s ending.

The brothers stopped in a clearing, panting as they’d been running for probably too long to be healthy.

“Ajax- Ajax look away. Ajax I’m gonna need you to look away okay?” Rayko turns to his younger brother, brushing his hair from his face as he checks his inventory for anything *else* he could use.

Ajax looks up at him confused. “I- wha- Ray?”

He doesn’t look up as he speaks again. “Just look away kiddo it’s okay, we��re gonna be okay.”

The shadow of a person moved closer, all Ajax could pay attention to was their heart pounding in their ears so fast it made their head hurt.

“Go-go ‘Jax. C'mon- go hide over there for me, okay?” Rayko was kneeled in front of them, hands placed on their shoulders as he spoke. He continues to glance behind the two, bow and arrow in hand and quiver only half full.

“Wha… Rayko-“ Ajax tries- he doesn’t want to leave him again. He wants to help! He can help-

“Now Ajax!” Rayko says sharply, and they flinch.

“I- fine- okay!”

They nod and Rayko pushes them, turning to stand up and nocking an arrow. Rayko looks over at them one last time with a sad smile.

“Just close your eyes and put your hands over your ears alright? Just like last time I showed you- remember?”

They let out a shaky breath and nodded, running out of the clearing and through a few trees. They’re able to hide as the footsteps grow closer, finding a hole inside of a charred and dead tree that they could move the branches in front of so they wouldn’t be seen.

They leave just enough space to be able to see their brother. He pulls his bow back and shoots the figure as they break through the clearing. His bow isn’t enough, and the figure easily is able to knock him down and put their sword through Rayko’s shoulder.

Ajax shuts their eyes tightly after that, curling up inside the tree with their knees pulled tight to their chest and hand over their mouth as their brother yells out in pain. They can hear him struggle for a minute before there’s silence- but the silence is *so so loud*.

The birdsong went silent, the birds having flown away at the first scream. The only sound they could hear was the wind shaking the leaves as it moved through the trees.

They stay in that tree for- they don’t really know how long after that. Their breathing shakes as they keep trying to get it under control, and their senses are heightened to the point that they jump at every step an animal takes nearby.

They’re able to pull themself together just before the sun peeks through the leaves, double-checking their materials before exiting the alcove in silence.

They’ll have to win without Rayko then- they can do that. They’ve done it before- and he came back the next game.

They ignore the voice in the back of their head saying what if he doesn’t come back. What if he’s gone and you’re alone and and and-

They take another breath before starting their way back through the Forest.

—=+=—

This was stupid- it was.

They felt like a kid again, trying desperately not to cry for whatever number this time was that his brother had gotten killed.

-Rayko was slain by red using [[Server killer lite]]-

Their sanity wasn’t helping, whispers mingling with the things getting glitchy and messed up and confusing- Why won’t they go away?

They muffle a quiet sob- quickly composing themself voice only shaking slightly when they speak again.

“How many lives do you even have?” They say it sharply, wincing almost at the sound of their own voice. Anger was easy. They knew how to be angry- they knew how to fuel anger they knew it- they *understood* it. This was different. They don’t like it- they don’t like how it makes their chest and head *hurt* they don’t like how their eyes hurt from them holding back tears they don’t like that their voice shakes even when they try to go back to anger.

They hate that they *know* it’s not working. They hate that Emmie and Red and *Rayko* know. They hate that they sound weak- whimpering and crying like a pathetic injured animal and they hide and corner themself in this enclosed space that they deem warm and safe as it raises their sanity.

“Seven. I won’t even be able to lose them all like this but I can help you guys get better.”

They *hate* that Rayko answers so calmly. Like it doesn’t hurt him that he’s getting killed over and over in such a short span of time. (Maybe he got used to it- but if that’s the case then *why haven’t they-*)

“Glad to see you at least give a tiny shit about us.” They try to be angry- and it works. It works but it doesn’t *keep* working- it works but then it doesn’t.

-Someone’s behind me-

They let out a shaky breath, holding the small plastic replica head you get every kill before moving it to their inventory so they don’t have to fucking look at it-

“C’mon Emmie.” Rayko tries.

“I don’t- I don’t want to.” She shakes her head with a frown.

“I want you to rank higher in the game.” Rayko repeats softly.

“I don’t fucking care about *ranking* Rayko. I’ve done this for fucking eight seasons now- I’ve won twice it doesn’t matter. I’ve *tried* throwing I’ve tried everything to get out of this. I’m- I’m *so happy* you’re getting out, okay? I need you- I need you to get out. Okay? But I won’t- I will not kill you over this. I don’t care anymore. I haven’t *cared* since- I don’t know, the computer? I just keep coming back here and I keep trying because Ajax and Ronnie are here. I- when you get to where you’re going just… be happy and be free but I’m not gonna kill you. Okay?” Emmie’s voice breaks as she talks, and the things get so much louder.

-The voices… I can’t…-

They have to look away from the shadows in the corner of their vision as their sanity stays too low. They move so they can see Rayko and Emmie again, their voice coming out too angry and too sharp.

“No- just kill him. It doesn’t matter anyway.” They feel bad immediately when Emmie and Rayko look at him, tears streaming down both their faces.

“I’m sorry… but you should.” This time they just sound defeated- and that’s almost worse.

“I don’t know… it’s been really fun being able to hang out and do this with you though.” Emmie says softly as she turns back to Rayko.

They feel like they’re in the void again.

-Don’t space out-

They feel like they’re in the void again and *fuck* they can’t focus. Their sanity probably has something to do with it but they just can’t- though at the same time they can’t look away either.

They watch Rayko give Emmie his armor… tears in his eyes as he pretends to provoke Red only for Red to kill him in one hit.

-What a strange feeling.-

They look away, a shaky breath escaping their lips as they pace on the carpet a bit again. Before pulling their sword out. They pass it between their hands for a moment, lightly spinning it in their grip as they steel their expression again.

They walk out to the edge of the island where their bridge connects, blocking Rayko from being able to get up. It’s easier when they’re numb. Anger can do that- it makes everything easier.

“C’mon…”

Rayko looks at them for a moment, before they sigh. “Fine just… just get on the island.”

Rayko stands across from them, arms open so his chest is unprotected. They run up easily, killing him in one hit. They hold their bloody sword in their hand, eyes cast to the ground again as Rayko asks Emmie once more to take two more of his lives.

“It really doesn’t feel right, I don’t know…”

“Just do it.” They mumble sharply.

Emmie looks at him sadly- pity or concern held in her gaze they don’t know.

-What’s there?-

They go back into the little mushroom house, standing close to the fires for barely a moment before heading back out and speaking again.

“He wouldn’t want to take us anyway.”

Rayko looks at him again but this time there’s a sense of betrayal in his gaze, and he looks at them in a way that makes their skin crawl.

“Yes, I would! I would *love* for you to get to meet them. I would love to show you the house that we have. I would love for you to get to show cash your machines- I would love for Fang to get to meet you- I would love for Xiphos and Emmie to get to go swimming. I would love nothing more.”

Rayko’s voice breaks more and more and he says this, and Ajax can’t. They put their sword away.

“Because this place is always fucking worse! At least other places it was just… I don’t know… silly games. Or… it used to be stuff like that. It used to be silly games and fun things and then when we got older it became *death* and *murder* and *torture* and *violence* and me watching my little brother *die* again and again and I don’t wanna be here anymore Ajax!” His voice progressively breaks more and more as he says this, tears streaming down his face as he yells the last bit.

They can’t. They look away from him again, quickly wiping tears away before looking back at their brother. They hate that this is the time they realize how much they *fucking missed him.*

“I just… I thought I had you back. That’s it, that’s all.” Their voice breaks as they try not to cry- they can’t not hear. Not when all of them are looking at him they can’t-

“I wanna be back. But I also know that I’m not as good at this as you are. You’re really good at this, you’re really good at these games I don’t want you to have to be good but I’m *not.*”

He breathes shakily for a moment, before stepping towards Ajax again.

“Do you wanna go instead if we could try someone else going-“

Ajax shakes his head and Rayko stops.

“I have nothing over there. I barely have anything here but I have… something. There’s nothing for me over there.” They look at Emmie for a moment before turning back to Rayko. Emmie moves next to him- not touching but keeping a close proximity of comfort that they extremely appreciate.

They look away when Emmie kills him next.

-Rayko was slain by Emmie-

They exhale shakily, looking back up when he respawns back. Emmie frowns turning to them when Ronnie sends a message in chat to make fun of her- and they quickly type back telling him to shut up.

They look away on the last couple of hits as Emmie takes the last kill.

“So now you just go?” God they hate the way their voice shakes.

Rayko looks at them sadly and turns to dig through his stuff. “I um… I should make sure everything is out of my bags. Um… we can go home and put everything away for you all.”

They set up a portal back home and they’re the last one to go through.

Ajax can’t do anything while Rayko puts away all his stuff. They can’t bring themself to move, just watching him run around the base putting all his belongings away to make it easier for them.

Emmie moves just so she can block their line of vision to Rayko.

“You okay?” She asks softly, and they can’t lie to her. They shake their head, quickly wiping tears from their eyes and Emmie lightly moves his hands, replacing them with hers to gently wipe some of the rapidly falling tears. She pulls them into a hug, wings and tail wrapping around them protectively and they rest their forehead on her shoulder. She nuzzles his hair lightly before pulling away, and they stay close as Rayko finishes everything he needs.

Red looks at them from across the room, head tilted just slightly as if to ask a silent question. They nod, giving it a weak smile. Red nods back, and both turn back to Rayko.

Surprisingly Red is the one to speak first. “Before you go. I’m glad you’re getting out. I… I’ve had other people I care about get out of here. So I’m glad you’re able to. You go… be amazing.”

Rayko laughs softly. “Yeah. Thank you, Red.”

Emmie speaks next. “You go live your best life out there and never have to touch blood and madness or any sort of subsection of stuff like that ever again. Go hug your partners for us.”

He smiles. “Mhm.”

He turns to Ajax and they let out a shaky breath.

“I… I’m glad I got to see you again.”

His expression crumbles slightly. “You too. Thank you.”

They shake their head and turn to grab the fist full of jam from the chest next to them.

“If you’re taking something with you…”

A series of sad laughs fill the room.

Rayko nods. “Okay…”

Emmie speaks again. “And I mean this in the greatest nicest way possible I hope I never see you again. Or if I do, it’s in greener pastures.”

Red nods. “I hope I never see you back *here* again.”

Emmie laughs softly and nods. “Yeah… that’s a better way to phrase it.”

Rayko nods. “Goodbye, all of you.”

“Bye.”

“Bye Rayko.”

He turns to them again, just looking at him a moment before speaking softly.

“Bye Ajax.” They say goodbye at the same time, and they breathe shakily with a nod.

They walk up and hug their older brother tightly. His wings wrap around the two of them easily. They stay like that for a moment, Rayko’s hand running through Ajax’s hair and Ajax gripping tightly to the back of Rayko’s shirt. Rayko pulls away first, he pulls away first, and they move back to their spot beside Emmie wiping away more tears.

“Good luck, all of you.” Rayko smiles softly.

“You too.”

Their eyes were shut tightly, but they opened them just as Rayko disappeared and it felt like they’ve watched him die all over again. They breathe shakily composing themself before turning to their teammates.

Gods the two were both looking at him- they can’t-

“Well, I uh- don’t know what to do now. Uh…”

They pause, glancing at the magic materials Rayko left behind. “Guess we have a lot of magic stuff to do yeah? Or something?” They laugh softly, and both of them nod.

Their eyes linger on the spot where Rayko vanished again. And they shake their head.

“I uh… I need a second if that’s okay…”

They both nod. “Yeah, take your time.” “Yeah yeah take your time Ajax.”

They nod, heading back into their machine room.

They sit on their bed, covering their face with their hands as they begin to cry, muffling the quiet sobs. It only lasts for a minute though, before they wipe their tears and shake their head again, just breathing shakily as they get it to stop.

“Get back up.” They run their hands through their hair. Quickly wiping more tears.

“Get back up. What’s even different yknow? You did this for how many years you can do it again.” They move so their back is settled against the machine behind them, legs still dangling over the edge of the bed. They wrap their arms around their torso as they try to console themself.

“It’s uh… it’s a death game. It’s a death game. You lose people anyway.” Their eyes fall on the lightning in a bottle Rayko gave them and a new wave of tears come that they have to wipe away. They move so they’re facing away from it.

“God there’s so much of… stuff.”

They pull their knees up so they hug them to their chest. “There’s so much to do…”

They laugh softly.

“It’s not a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing. Not a bad thing at all. Probably a better thing. I already spent enough hours in here- I can… what’s another week y’know?” They sigh heavily wiping their eyes again.

“…Fuck man.” They just sit and breathe for longer than they deem necessary. “I uh- I have to- I have to lay down. Uh… is that okay? Is that okay things?” They don’t know why they ask- they know that it doesn’t matter.

They lay down, and the things leave eventually.

They’re left in silence, and the silence is *so so loud.*

The sound left with the things, them all going off to do who knows what. The only sounds left are the crackling of campfires and their machines running behind them.

They stay in bed for- they don’t really know how long after that. Their breathing shakes as they keep trying to get it under control.

They’re able to pull themself together just before daylight, double-checking the materials left in their inventory before they get up again.

They’ll have to do this without Rayko then- they can do that. They’ve done it before- and they can do it again.

They ignore the voice in the back of their head saying what if everyone else leaves? What if they leave and you’re alone and and and-

(Nobody else will leave if they do this right. They can be useful- they can do this right. They can.)

They take another breath before going to check on their machines.

#te and also he #me when eod brothers.#I care so much #mmm #eod rayco #eod ajax #ajax zephyr #Rayco Zephyr #?#end of days #end of days smp #Maybe it’s me just writing some of what happened in the episode shhhhhhh.#I’m so normal #I shake them #and hold them so gently

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