#rax being oblivious

[bambibae101010]

If somebody asked Gallius Rax what his biggest fear was I can guarantee his answer would be “the emotions I could POSSIBLY have for Sloane”

Because let’s be real even he isn’t certain what the hell is going on anymore between them, and that speaks volumes

[ambientstars]

Could we please get 12 from the prompt list? ❤️

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Thank you for the request! It may not be what you had in mind, but I still hope you like it :)

Gif credit: @thelvadams

Note: everybody say it with me! Fluff fluff fluff angst fluff! I apologise for the sloppiness of this, but sometimes my brain just doesn’t cooperate yknow?

-  -  -

The streets were busy, filled with countless creatures and species, all bustling about in their daily commutes, market shopping and socialising.

The Doctor had taken you to a planet you couldn’t quite pronounce, promising colour and vibrancy from not only the people who lived there, but also the planet itself. The grass sparkled, clear like diamonds and shining brilliantly under the turquoise sun. The air tasted sweet, faint traces of sugary sherbet on your tongue every time you took a breath.

Beside you The Doctor rambled on about the planet’s history and the life forms that inhabited it, but her words went in one ear and right out the other, your focus too captured by the way the pavement beneath your feet hummed a tune with each step you took forward.

The strangers around you smiled, greeting each other politely as they crossed paths. The atmosphere felt welcoming and warm, inviting you deeper into the intriguing world you had been brought to.

To your left were stalls of different kinds, selling everything from odd looking food you imagined were types of fruit to livestock consisting of animals that talked and hovered and danced. On your right stood a tall and proud building containing restaurants of all kinds of cuisines, all of them unfamiliar to you, it’s walls covered with glorious art, colours you’d never seen before enveloped each brick right to the edges.

Out of all the places The Doctor had taken you before, this was by far the best. Here you felt calm and delighted, and with so much to see and explore, you never wanted to leave despite the fact that eventually your real home would be calling you back.

“And that’s why they call it the-“ The Doctor stopped dead in her tracks, her arm reaching out in front of you as a signal for you to also stop walking. “Do you hear that?”

“No…” you listened out for something, anything that seemed out of the ordinary. But it was so busy around you, voices and laughter filling your ears, it was hard to make out just what The Doctor was talking about.

“Listen.” She twirled on the spot, focussing her ears in different directions until she narrowed down the location of the sound she was hearing.

“Doctor, I don’t hear-“

She took off running before you could finish your sentence. You forced your feet to chase after her even in your moment of confusion. “Doctor, wait!”

She continued running quicker than you’d ever seen her run before, darting from left to right, in between stalls and pushing past pedestrians in her way, mumbling a sorry to them as she stayed in motion.

Your legs began to cramp up, your chest heaving for a proper breath. You kept up as best as you could, almost losing her in crowds a few times, but ultimately spotting her in a different spot not even seconds after and following in the seemingly uncoordinated and unplanned path.

She came to a standstill once again and you almost crashed into her in surprise, your breathing laboured, but hers barely above average. She looked around in the new place you had found yourselves in, a different part of the endless market and still just as busy, watching The Doctor’s face contort into something of discomfort as she kept an ear out for the sound you couldn’t hear.

“Doctor, where are we-“

“There!” And she was off again.

You huffed in irritation, your burning lungs silently pleading to The Doctor to slow down and give them a chance. You followed, pushing through the pain of exhaustion, and found her crouched down in an alleyway behind what looked like a generator for the building it was attached to.

“It’s okay, I’m here now.”

She stood, a bundle of blankets in her arms. She slowly walked over to you, never once taking her eyes away from whatever she was holding, her expression soft and a small smile on her face.

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

The blankets moved and out popped an arm. The arm of a baby, it’s skin a shade of pink, it’s tiny and chubby hand reaching out to touch The Doctor’s face. You watched in awe as the timelord bounced in her spot, rocking the cooing baby back and forth, keeping it calm and content.

“So that’s what you heard? A baby?”

She nodded, finally looking up at you. “He was crying.”

You frowned, still confused. “But how did you hear him from so far away?”

She shrugged, returning her gaze back to the baby. “Parental instincts, I suppose.”

You opened your mouth to speak, to ask even more questions, but she began to walk off before you could.

She spoke to the baby as she made her way back through the crowd, asking him questions about what his family looked like and what his name was, all the while keeping an eye out for distressed parents looking for their son.

The baby gurgled back and she nodded in understanding, replying to him as she understood exactly what he was saying. You, of course, had absolutely no idea at all.

You twisted and turned through the market streets, searching for a clue as to who this baby belonged to. According to The Doctor he had been taken from his crate by someone who mistook him for goods at a stall and left behind when the thief had peeled back the blanket and realised their mistake. You assumed ‘crate’ was an alien word for cot, although you never could be sure with other planets and their odd ways of living.

“Here, hold Rax for a moment while I use my sonic to scan the place.”

“Rax?” You held out your arms to receive the baby, bringing him close to your chest.

“That’s his name.”

“How do you know that?” You looked at the baby now known as Rax, admiring his emerald green eyes, watching as they sparkled under the light of the sun. He gave a toothless smile and made grabbing motions with his hands, something that made you return the smile.

The Doctor span in a slow circle, her sonic buzzing with life and searching for the child’s parents. “I speak baby.”

You gave her an incredulous look, not that she saw it, and sighed. “Of course you do.”

She gave her sonic a once over and huffed when it came up with no answers. She took the baby back from you and set off in the direction of the TARDIS, leaving you to follow in tow.

-     -

You sat against the blue box, your eyes closed and your face pointed towards the sky, the warmth of the sun on your skin. Beside you sat The Doctor and her new best friend, the baby.

You’d been sat there for hours waiting for the crowds of the market to thin out as the day went on, deciding it would be easier to spot the parents with less people around, and the entire time the timelord had chatted away to the baby and laughing when he replied back.

You tried not to feel annoyed by the lack of attention The Doctor was giving you in favour of talking to a baby, but it was proving hard. After all, it wasn’t the baby’s fault you couldn’t understand it and join in on the conversation and The Doctor was completely oblivious to how she had shut you out, but after spending so much time travelling with her, just the two of you, you’d come to enjoy and crave her constant attention.

You hadn’t noticed before now that your entire life and all your feelings revolved around her, your entire being consumed by her. You wanted, needed, her approval on everything, your whole self subconsciously begging her to stay near, your mind twisted into thoughts of her and only her.

It was a wake up call for sure, but you mentally hit the snooze button. You’d come back to that another day, someday in the distant future.

The baby began to cry and was passed over to you once again, The Doctor announcing that he was hungry and going into the TARDIS to make him food. You sent a quiet prayer that her food would be edible and wouldn’t harm the defenceless soul in your arms. The Doctor was a lot of things, but a good cook wasn’t one of them.

She returned with a baby’s bottle filled with an orange liquid. On Earth babies drank milk, but here you weren’t sure if this was the normal thing to give to babies or if The Doctor had gotten it completely wrong.

“Where did you get a baby’s bottle from?” You quizzed, watching her cradle the boy and feed him carefully. “And what did you mean by parental instincts?”

“I was a father once.”

Your face must’ve been quite the picture if anyone was looking, your brain almost fizzing out in an attempt to process the information you’d been given.

“No, seriously.”

She turned to you and looked you dead in the eye, her face displaying no signs of joking around. “Seriously.”

“Don’t you mean you were a mother?”

She shook her head, her eyes returning to the baby to make sure he was drinking properly. “No, I mean father.”

“But you’re…” you gestured at her broadly. “You’re a woman.”

The Doctor used the corner of the boy’s blanket to wipe at his mouth, clearing away what had slipped from his tiny lips. “And before I was a man.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath and decided to change the subject slightly, realising you were getting nowhere. “What do you mean was a father?”

“Look, there!”

The Doctor sprung up from her spot, her eyes focused on a creature made of what looked like pink pliable stone. She cried loudly and searched frantically for something, or someone.

The Doctor ran in her direction, clutching the baby tightly so that he didn’t slip from her hold. You stayed behind and watched from the TARDIS, your eyes fixed on the timelord as she handed back the baby and was immediately pulled into a hug that looked somewhat uncomfortable.

After she said her goodbyes and wished Rax and his mother well, The Doctor came back to you. She smiled at you as she went inside the blue box, heading straight for the console to fly you away.

You followed quietly, observing as she flicked switches and turned dials on each of the control panels. The machine came to life, groaning as she took off, taking you somewhere new.

“Doctor,” her eyes fell on you, ready and waiting for your question. “Why aren’t you a… father anymore?”

Her hands stilled for a moment. Her face remained soft, but her gaze was vacant as if she was remembering something. She shook her head and smiled with tight lips the way she does when she doesn’t want to talk about something, and continued her sequence of lever pulling and button pressing.

“Why are you still asking questions? And anyway, you need to tell me where you want to go next!”

You bit your lip to refrain yourself from pushing the topic further. She was clearly uncomfortable and not likely to talk, so you thought for a moment and gave your answer.

-    -

The fire in the library roared with life, it’s heat reaching you and The Doctor on the couch you shared. Your head rested on her shoulder as she read aloud to you a book she had chosen from her endless shelves of reading material, her hand placed on your leg as a form of comfort.

You sipped on your hot chocolate, the marshmallows bobbing against your nose, your eyes following each sentence as The Doctor spoke them quietly. The evening was peaceful and calm, uneventful for the most part compared to the pace of the day, but it was welcomed gratefully by the both of you.

Her thumb stroked the skin of your knee absentmindedly, her mind seemingly drifting away as her words began to fall into silence. You lifted your head to look at her face, the reflection of flames in her eyes as she stared into it.

She nodded slowly when you asked if she was alright, never looking away from the fire. She seemed distracted and somehow nervous, something you hadn’t seen in her before.

“You know, you looked good with a baby in your arms.” You nudged her playfully, smiling brightly to lighten the mood.

She finally tore her attention away from the fireplace and looked at you, a small smile of her own being offered back to you. “As do you.”

She kissed your forehead and returned to the book, picking up from where she had stopped. You placed your head back onto it’s spot on her shoulder and closed your eyes to focus on the words, relaxing at the sound of her voice.

[nadziejastar]

Axel’s Moral Relativism

“No apology?” He with the red hair—Axel stood up, his mouth turned down at the corners, and looked down at Roxas who still sat in bed.

“I shouldn’t have to. The one showing up all of a sudden when others are waking up is in the wrong.”

“Is that how to treat a best friend on coming back from completing a long mission!”

“I don’t recall becoming your best friend.”

Roxas got off the bed, and, ignoring Axel, turned his back and put on a black coat.

This is a passage from the short story called “Roxas: Somewhere in Time”. It was included with KH2FM+ and details a little bit of how Roxas and Axel got along together in the organization. Xion wasn’t included for obvious reasons. I got the sense that Nomura took Roxas in a slightly different direction to make him more like Ventus in Days.

Roxas was a little more cynical and introspective in this short story compared to Days. But one thing remained the same. From the very beginning, Roxas was never meant to feel as strongly about being “best friends” as Axel did in KH2. He felt like Axel was being a bit pushy about that label and given their circumstances, I’d say he was completely justified in feeling that way.

Axel said ‘best friend’. But that’s only playing at being human; it’s a relationship that we, Nobodies without hearts, aren’t supposed to have. But, within the organization, I’ve become especially close to Axel—no, it’s a fact without mistake that we are closer than the other members, and I don’t really know how that relationship should be expressed.

And that was their relationship in a nutshell. They were especially close and had a very important relationship, but they still weren’t really best friends. I know I’ve talked about this before, but it ties into this subject. I’ve heard a lot of people say that they didn’t like 358/2 Days because of the constant “best friends” talk and because Axel seemed like a goody-two-shoes big brother, instead of the hardcore assassin he acted like in CoM. They couldn’t reconcile those two different portrayals.

Yes, “best friends” was mentioned over and over. Way more than with SRK or TAV. Compared to them, RAX didn’t even know each other for that long. It was supposed to feel forced. But, I don’t think that was a bad thing or that it lessened the importance of their bond. To the contrary, I actually thought their relationship was a lot MORE meaningful because they weren’t really Axel’s best friends. As an assassin, Axel had a very skewed sense of morality. And that’s what this post will be about.

“What are you trying to do? Are you thinking to use Naminé as a shield? That little girl doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ll just destroy her along with you. Get ready, Marluxia!” fired Axel, readying his chakrams.

Peculiar or not, she’s got nothing to do with me, or the Organization… I don’t think. It’s fine to destroy things that are in the way.

I definitely think Axel was always willing to do the dirty work for Saïx because he thought of Isa as his best friend. He never really cared about the morality of what he was doing. All that mattered was that he was doing it for the sake of his best friend. 

Day 74: Xion's Face

Author: Axel

Honestly, I never got why Roxas was so crazy about Xion. I know they both joined up around the same time, and they're both rookies, but how do you get so close to somebody who hides their face all the time? Well, I saw it today. All of a sudden, No. XIV up and takes off...her hood. Xion is a girl, and she looks just like Naminé.

Roxas and Xion became his “best friends” because that changed when he met them. Especially after Castle Oblivion. Roxas was Sora’s Nobody and Xion looked just like Naminé. It made him question everything about the way he had been living.

“Your best friend?” Roxas shook his head furiously and grabbed Axel’s cloak. “Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other!”

He’s angry, Axel thought clearly. It really does make it seem like he has a heart. But if that’s all I can think of when he’s this upset, I really must not have one.

It’s important to emphasize that although Axel’s relationship with Roxas was pretty one-sided in KH2, it was kind of the opposite in Days. Roxas liked the idea of being best friends with him and Xion. Their relationship didn’t fall apart because Roxas was indifferent to their friendship. Axel did a lot of things to alienate Roxas after telling him they were best friends. Roxas felt betrayed. Axel did what he thought was the best thing for everyone’s sake. But Roxas was unable to understand that because Axel had a much less idealistic outlook on life than he did.

Still gripping Axel’s collar, Roxas shook his head with the emphatic refusal of a little kid. “No, you didn’t…” But he sounded uncertain as he said it, and his voice shrank even more. “We’re supposed to be best friends.”

Axel brushed Roxas’s hands from his collar. “This isn’t about friendship.”

Roxas raised his head. The glare in his blue eyes was sharp as a knife. Axel had never seen that from him before. His chest twinged, just a bit. He let out another sigh. “Listen, if that’s all, I gotta go.”

Roxas wilted again, and something in his expression weakened Axel’s resolve slightly.

I did it with the best of intentions, that’s all. For Roxas’ sake, for Xion’s sake, for the Organization’s sake---and for Isa’s sake. But more than anything, for my own sake.

He turned away from Roxas and made himself walk away.

Axel’s innocence had already been shattered a long time ago. He was used to dealing with the darker side of life. Due to his traumatic past, he had an amazing ability to emotionally detach himself from any given situation. It was a form of self-preservation.

After he left Roxas, Axel’s distracted wandering through the hallways came to a stop when he saw someone else.

He was probably waiting for me. Standing there against the wall with his arms folded was once my best friend—Saïx didn’t take his eyes off the ground to look at Axel.

“…You’re sure this is for the best?”

“Everything is back to normal. Of course this is for the best, isn’t it?”

The reason I’m unable to answer Saïx is probably because I depend on him, thought Axel.

“Xemnas has also been irritated at the recent changes in plan. Everything has to go back to normal, for the sake of our goal too… Lea.”

But from Roxas’s point of view, Axel seemed cold and heartless. He always said that Nobodies had no hearts and that they couldn’t feel things like fear or love. Naturally, Roxas thought he didn’t value their friendship as much as he did. And Axel did hide all of his true feelings, so I can’t blame Roxas for feeling that way. 

But while Axel pushed Roxas further away, he really wanted to do what was best for him. He wanted to spare Roxas the pain that he went through. And at the same time, he was dealing with his inner conflict over his relationship with Saïx. He had a hard time coping with the huge rift between how he remembered their past compared to what he saw in the present. He had nobody to confide in about this.

“Come on, don’t look shocked,” Axel went on. “You already know you’re a replica. A puppet whose original purpose was to duplicate Roxas’s powers. If he’s getting weaker, and you’re getting stronger, maybe you’re taking a little more than you oughta be.”

He didn’t gloss over anything. Confronted with the plain truth, she looked away.

Right. I’m a puppet. Organization XIII built me. A doll to copy Roxas’s powers. But still…that’s not all I am. Axel doesn’t know the whole story. And maybe I don’t, either. What other secrets are hidden inside me?

“…What should I do, then?” she mumbled at the floor. She didn’t have the answer.

“I can’t make that decision. You’re no puppet in my book.” Axel took hold of her shoulders, and she turned up to him again. There was sincerity in his eyes and kindness. “You’re my best friend. Mine and Roxas’s. Got it memorized?”

Axel told Xion they were best friends, but at that point, he still thought it was better for her to not exist. He said they were best friends for her sake. And perhaps to assuage some of the guilt he felt over what he was planning to do, which she was oblivious to. Axel had no real advice for her. He didn’t expect her to exist for much longer and left it up to her to decide what to do. He felt bad about it, but he truly thought it was for the best that she disappear.

“Are you talking about destroying her?” Axel made no reply.

“Answer me!” he screamed, kicking the wall.

Axel still spoke quietly. “If somebody doesn’t, then you…won’t be you anymore.”

“I’ll always be me! Your best friend—just like Xion!”

But Axel shook his head. “Roxas—you’re missing the bigger picture.”

“Ugh, forget this.” Roxas kicked the wall again for good measure and started walking away. There was no point talking to Axel anymore. The Winner stick was still in his pocket. So much for giving it to Axel.

“Roxas!” He didn’t look back. He didn’t want to hear what anyone had to say anymore.

He kept all of this from Roxas. He knew he would never accept that his best friend needed to be destroyed for his own good. So he took the burden on himself to do it, knowingly destroying their friendship in the process.

Roxas no longer knew what to say to either of them. Why had Axel attacked Xion like that? He’d been for real. Serious enough that he almost seemed about to take her down for good. The thought made Roxas nervous. Axel wasn’t saying anything to him, either.

At first Axel took a rather pragmatic approach to the situation with Xion. He wasn’t happy about it and it wasn’t an easy decision or anything. But he did attack her and bring her back, with the intention of her being destroyed. Even when he fought her, he was ready to take her out permanently if it came to that. He didn’t like it, but he was able to set aside his feelings and do what he thought he had to do. He only changed his mind at the very end.

I don’t have a single friend in this place. All these people on my side—and his and the organization’s… But I don’t know if I can say that we’re really on the same side. I’m alone here.

Nostalgia… And memory. We are the ones who lost their hearts—the ones who are no one. Nobodies. Not light nor darkness—we live in the twilight.

Axel stopped outside the crystal ball room and took a deep breath.

Why are we here? What are we doing? No—why am I here?

Axel’s actions definitely demonstrated that he viewed Isa as his best friend above anyone else. He questioned why he was still in the organization after he killed Vexen.

It’s just like that back is rejecting me. And I’m realizing that my memories of the past are too different from the thoughts I’m having now.

Why the hell am I here? I don’t really know any more. What the hell do I want to do?

And he questioned it when Saïx said the organization didn’t need both Roxas and Xion. Saïx did not act like Axel’s friend, let alone his best friend. He was totally cold and often very cruel to to him. Axel felt rejected and alone when talking to Saïx. But he chose to stay in the organization. If he really wanted to, he could have left. But he never did.  

“The time has come for us to move, it seems—”

Axel frowned at Xemnas’ words.

What if—I’d stopped Roxas properly, that time? If I’d told Roxas the entire secret, would it have turned out like this? But, I couldn’t betray the organization.

No—to be honest, I’ve already betrayed the organization. In that castle, I was the one who let Riku and Naminé meet, which made a big mess for the organization.

But, I didn’t complete the betrayal. I’m still uncertain. From the time I met my best friend Roxas, from the time spent in Castle Oblivion, I’ve continued to struggle with doubts.

Why am I here? What do I want? How can I become whole again?

Even now, he wasn’t sure.

After Xion disappeared, Roxas was the only one who helped Axel feel less lonely in the organization. But when Roxas left, he was still conflicted. It’s not that he was afraid to go against the organization. He just didn’t know what he truly wanted to do in order to be whole.

Today I have to destroy Roxas. I cannot betray the organization.

From the little shelf at his bedside, Axel took a white envelope, and looked at it vaguely for a while. Putting it in his pocket, Axel got up off the bed and left the room.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saïx, too. Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saïx��s back.

“We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?” Ignoring Axel’s words, Saïx continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saïx finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.”

“Saying stupid things,” said Saïx, smiling for just a second at Axel, puffing out his chest.

In the end, he decided he had to destroy Roxas. He joked about destroying Roxas. That’s how desperately he wanted to emotionally connect with Saïx, like when they were kids. I definitely could never see him joking about destroying Saïx to Roxas. 

“I’m goooing.” Waving to Saïx, Axel disappeared.

The instant he transferred over, he closed his eyes for a moment at the dazzling sunset streaming through. Then he turned around dramatically, and confirmed it was Roxas.

“Look at what it’s come to,” Axel said. “I’ve been given some pretty nasty orders…to destroy you if you refuse to come back with me.”

I don’t think Axel truly thought it was funny, but I do think that he has been through so much trauma that he felt emotionally disconnected from everything, and developed a dark sense of humor. Immediately after that exchange, he appeared in front of Roxas and told him he was given the icky orders to destroy him.

Can I destroy Roxas? Probably not. But I know what I can’t do. Xemnas and Saïx probably knew that as well. Maybe we can disappear together from here and go somewhere.

And Axel genuinely wasn’t sure if he would be able to do it or not. He didn’t want to do it, and ultimately wasn’t able to, but he still came pretty close. He only changed his mind at the last minute, like with Xion. He was playing around with the idea that they could disappear together, but he only brought it up jokingly. After that, he tried to go back to the organization.

“No one would miss me,” I retorted, and started to walk away.

“That’s not true…,” Axel mumbled. “I would.” At the time, I pretended not to hear him. We Nobodies have no hearts. How would we be able to “miss” someone? But now, I understand how he felt.

Roxas flung Axel back with the Keyblades so that he fell to his knees. Roxas couldn’t bring himself to deal the final blow. 

“Axel…”

That’s right—we were the only pair of best friends in the organization.

I got the sense that Axel was so convinced he didn’t have a heart because of all the things he had done as a Nobody. He was truly disgusted with himself after fighting Roxas. He said that Roxas had a next life because he was a sweet, innocent kid. He looked surprised that Roxas responded seriously to his suggestion to meet again in the next life, especially after what he just did to him. Roxas still cared about him and had sympathy for him.

“Axel…” The hostility had vanished from Roxas’ eyes.

I can’t find the spirit to fight this Roxas anymore. Here–there’s nothing to do but to fade away.

“Let’s meet again in the next life.” At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.” There was something funny about Roxas’s serious answer, and Axel laughed.

“Silly… you’d have a next life, but…” Axel said to Roxas–and his figure disappeared in the darkness of a portal he’d opened behind him.

Axel was aware that he just tried to murder that pure-hearted kid who once called him his best friend. Of course Axel thought he had no heart or a next life. He didn’t stop fighting Roxas because they were best friends. He stopped because he realized that he wasn’t Lea anymore. He no longer recognized himself and he was deeply ashamed.

“What were you trying to do?” Sora asked. For a moment, Axel didn’t reply. He kept staring into space as he did. 

“…I wanted to see Roxas. He…was the only one I liked. When I was with him…he made me feel…like I had a heart…” Axel closed his eyes.

Somehow, he had the feeling that Roxas was close. Terribly close. Right beside him.

“I feel it…with you, too…” Then Axel weakly shook his head and returned his attention to Sora. “Kairi’s in the castle dungeon. Now go.”

Roxas and Sora made Axel feel like he had a heart, not because they were his best friends, or because he was in love with them. It was because he tried to harm them and they still showed him forgiveness and compassion. 

“We don’t disappear… We’re only reborn,” Naminé murmured, perhaps to herself.

“I’m not like you and Roxas,” Axel said flatly. His hand holding the ice pop stick paused in midair.

“But—but you…” She looked down, clenching her fists.

“It’s because I don’t have a heart,” Axel went on. “I don’t want to disappear, but I’m not upset or sad about it.”

I think that played a huge role in why Axel put Roxas on such a pedestal in KH2. Roxas was the epitome of humanity to him. He wasn’t used to being around people who showed him empathy and friendship. Roxas genuinely cared about him in 358/2 Days. He was devastated when he thought Axel was terminated and would never see him again. And Axel repaid that kindness by trying to destroy him. Roxas treated Axel like a human worthy of friendship. He made him feel human, even when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.

“I think we all know, and you just don’t want to accept it,” Saïx remarked, his voice dripping with disdain.

“He might be forcing her…,” Roxas mumbled.

Saïx only snorted at him. “Hah! Your human-like way of thinking is so nauseating.”

But that was the only thing Roxas could think of. Xion wouldn’t betray the Organization…or her friends. Would she? He stared at the floor, his fists clenched at his sides. Were Nobodies and humans really all that different?

“You have to trust your partners,” said Roxas, flaring up. Then he raised his head to glare at Saïx. “Why is it such a crime to give each other the benefit of the doubt?!”

“Just stop, Roxas.” Axel restrained his arm. “Just, calm down a little.”

Unlike with Roxas and Xion, I don’t think Lea ever considered destroying Isa an option. If Isa ever had to be destroyed, Lea promised him that they’d go together. That’s how attached he was to Isa. They were best friends and inseparable. He put Isa ahead of everyone.

“Huh…you’ve got a point. So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”

“Memories…,” Roxas mumbled at his lap. “Well, I don’t remember my past, so I guess that explains it.”

Axel pondered that for a few seconds before suggesting, “What about your present, though?” Roxas looked up. Somehow, he hadn’t expected to hear that from Axel.

“Wait, you’re right. I don’t want to forget about you or Xion.”

“See?” said Axel. “Everyone’s got things they wanna hang on to. Even us Nobodies.”

When asked what he couldn’t bear to lose, he didn’t say it was his friendship with Roxas or Xion. He knew Roxas valued the present more than anything, but Axel still would have chosen the past.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow. 

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here. 

Even when Saïx wanted him dead, Axel felt like he’d rather disappear than fight him. Saïx was stronger than him, and Axel never thought he could beat him. He was never going to destroy him or anything. But even fighting him in self-defense was enough to make Axel feel like disappearing—the one thing he dreaded more than anything. 

This is a pretty overwhelming disadvantage, Axel thought. Well, I knew that before we started fighting. I can’t win against Saïx with my own strength.

Still, he refused to hesitate. He had to force this path open. He wanted…to find hope—the hope that Sora and Riku had.

Saïx gave him a cruel grin. “You will lose everything!” And then the Claymore pierced Axel’s chest.

I don’t want to disappear. I can’t disappear now. I shouldn’t have to disappear at all. Why am I doing all this? Who is it for? For Roxas… For Riku, for Naminé… And for myself. There are still things I should do. Things I have to do.

Axel was only willing to fight Saïx for Kairi’s sake. It wasn’t because they were best friends. He did it because it was the best thing for everyone. But he was envious of Riku and Sora because of the hope they had.

“Al said he wouldn’t rely on magic, right? I want to fix it for him, but you gotta respect your friend’s wishes.”

“Your friend’s… wishes…” 

So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

Lea and Isa promised to meet again in the next life. But even then, Lea changed his mind. Even if Isa disappearing was the best thing for everyone, and that was the decision he made himself, Lea didn’t care.

“That Genie person seemed very worried about that Al person. And then he said that you have to respect your friend’s wishes.” Xion bit her ice cream, swinging her feet.

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…” 

It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

He was going to bring him back, whether he liked it or not---whether it was the right thing to do or not. He’d bring him back, even if he had to drag him. And I think that is how Lea developed such a skewed sense of morality, and why he was willing to do anything for Saïx, even the icky jobs. Lea refused to respect Isa’s wishes if it meant he had to sacrifice himself.

This is the way it has to go, Axel told himself, lying on his bed. This is the right course.

But he was swamped with misgivings, unable to accept his own decisions. How could he choose between Roxas and Xion? And yet, that was exactly what he’d been forced to do. Then Xion had walked away of her own accord.

Then again, this did little to alter the big picture. All it meant was that Xion would no longer be draining strength from Roxas. The plan would only suffer a slight delay in progress—nothing more. Although even that slight delay would let Roxas remain himself for a little longer.

Axel didn’t know what would happen. But he was glad, at least, for a little more time to think.

What will I have to do? What should I do?

His thoughts kept him awake for some time.

When Axel told Roxas that Xion needed to disappear for the greater good, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Xion left on her own and Axel turned a blind eye, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.

I promised Xion. I have to keep my word, don’t I? What Xion really wants—and what Roxas wants, too—is for the three of us to stay together. But there’s nothing I can do now to make that happen. So if I can at least keep my promise to her…that’s what I’ll do.

Axel didn’t let any of it show as he waited for Roxas to continue.

“You’re not really gonna do what Xemnas says…are you?” Roxas asked, still staring at the floor.

A tiny sigh escaped Axel. “I have to. Or else I won’t be safe, either.”

That was the harsh truth. And if he was gone, too, who would keep Roxas safe?

When Axel set out to destroy Xion after calling her his best friend, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite. When Axel thought he had to respect Xion’s wish to disappear, he must have felt like a huge hypocrite.

Kairi looked up at him then. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”

“This doggy likes you, though,” she pointed out.

Axel dropped his gaze, and indeed, Pluto was right there with his tail whipping back and forth.

“Just because dogs like someone doesn’t mean they’re a good person, y’know. Got it memorized?”

I got the sense that Lea was always willing to get his hands dirty for Isa’s sake, because he remembered him to be so selfless. I think Lea would have done anything for him. He would have eliminated anyone to save him. Roxas, Xion, Sora. Anyone. 

Axel, what do you want to do?”

“Avoid being eliminated ideally.”

“So you’re offering me up to the organization?”

“…Well, you see any other options?” His expression was frozen in a forced smile.

He had no ideas. He didn’t know what to do. And he had no heart and thus no emotions to guide him, either.

I think Saïx was telling the truth when he said Axel changed. Their roles were reversed from the past. Axel was an assassin who was morally ambiguous. He said he didn’t believe anyone could say what was right or wrong, and he also didn’t consider himself a good person or a bad person.

“But this is for everyone’s sake.”

Everyone…? Who do you mean by everyone? Us? Or others?

“Don’t say selfish crap like that. Every last one of…”

“This is for the best,” Xion said.

I hate that sort of thing. There’s no such thing as ‘this is for the best’. There’s, I want to, and I don’t want to, that’s all. I learned that in my human time.

He was willing to do bad things to achieve his goals. He was desensitized to it. It’s what he had to do to survive in the organization. As long as he got what he wanted, nothing else mattered. But when he realized how much Isa had changed, Axel’s resolve to get his hands dirty wavered.

“The best thing…?” Naminé set her crayons down on the table, her gaze dropping as she thought for a moment, and then she smiled at him again.

“It’s the right thing.”

In response, Axel only leaned back and rocked in the chair again. She took up her crayons.

No one could know what was right or wrong.

Roxas and Kairi were what finally tipped him over the edge. He could no longer do what he knew was wrong. This is why I think Axel’s friendship with Roxas and Xion was so important to his development. It was so important exactly because they weren’t really his best friends. They offered something to Axel that he couldn’t have gotten from his real best friend.

“The dirty work doesn’t bother me,” Axel went on. “You just make for the top.”

There was nothing false in that, and he looked Saïx in the eye as he said it. Saïx stared hard back at him.

Right. We have our own agenda.

It’s interesting that Axel was so concerned with doing what was best for everyone in Days, considering he actually hated that type of thinking as a human. I got the sense that Isa acted as Lea’s moral compass during the experiments. There’s a reason Isa got possessed and Lea became an assassin, after all. And it wasn’t because Lea was a goody-two-shoes. He was a good person deep down. But he didn’t care what was best for everyone if it meant Isa had to die.

To suit the Organization, to suit Xion, to suit Roxas—to suit the world. I don’t give a crap about any of that any more. I use the Organization for myself. That hasn’t changed from the start. All that’s changed is for whose sake I do it for. Maybe he’d call it being a traitor. But, the world changes.

His best friend was more important to him than the world. But...Lea cared so much about him because he was the type of person who put others ahead of himself. It’s why Axel was willing to do all the dirty work for him. 

Ansem quietly shook his head. “Naminé, Roxas, and Xemnas… The Nobodies of those with strong hearts are peculiar beings. My—that is, our theories proved fruitless. Coming into contact with a strong heart transforms a world. And not just worlds, but people themselves—and even Nobodies.”

Naminé, head lowered and hand extended with the ice cream for Riku, perked up upon hearing those words.

That’s it… Yes. The mystery of the heart. When we encounter someone special…the world changes. Our hearts change. Everything changes.

Axel needed to have Saïx act like a horrible person in order for him to rediscover his sense of morality. His loyalty to Saïx was holding him back. He grew tremendously as a character by refusing to do the wrong thing, even for his best friend. He stood on his own two feet, did the right thing, and earned his redemption. Ironically, his betrayal of Saïx was due to his loyalty to his memories of Isa. And betraying Saïx was the only way to eventually get Isa back. 

[swshadowcouncil]

Descendants of the Chosen One, Rey and Jakku

Extract from Robotical712′s Background Theory

The Importance of Jakku and the Chosen One

One unknown I’ve been grappling with is why Snoke would want Rey taken to Jakku in the first place. It obviously had to do with what the Emperor was so interested in there, but it wasn’t clear beyond that.

A recent Vader comic has provided inspiration. In the comic, the Emperor has Vader go to Mustafar and use the Dark Side nexus located there to corrupt the Kyber crystal Vader had recently ‘won’. What’s particularly interesting about this nexus is it’s analogous to what Rax did in Empire’s End on Jakku with the planetary essence. By throwing Yupe and several Sith objects into it, the entire essence was corrupted – creating a massive dark side nexus. This nexus was powerful enough to tear the planet apart if left unchecked. However, there was a means of stopping it built into the observatory – suggesting destroying the planet wasn’t the original plan (and probably never was) – creating a massive artificial dark-side nexus was.

In Rey’s Survival Guide there’s a rumor that the Emperor had secretly built a throne room on Jakku to rule the rest of the galaxy. The means of corrupting the essence lends credence to this rumor as it would give the Emperor a massive source of power to tap into. However, given Jakku’s location and the mapping device located there it’s likely this was a means of accessing an even greater power – the power the Emperor sensed in the Unknown Regions:

“No Sith remain,” Tashu says. “And the lone Jedi that exists-the son of Anakin Skywalker-possesses an untouchable soul. At least for now. We must instead move toward the dark side. Palpatine felt that the universe beyond the edges of our maps was where his power came from. Over the many years he, with our aid, sent men and women beyond known space. They built labs and communication stations on distant moons, asteroids, out there in the wilds. We must follow them. Retreat from the galaxy. Go out beyond the veil of stars. We must seek the source of the dark side like a man looking for a wellspring of water.”

Aftermath Page 114.

The Emperor was convinced that something waited for him out there—some origin of the Force, some dark presence formed of malevolent substance. He said he could feel the waves of it radiating out now that the way was clear. The Emperor called it a signal—conveniently one that only he could hear. Even his greatest enforcer, Vader, seemed oblivious to it, and Vader also claimed mastery over the dark Force, did he not? Rax believed Palpatine had gone mad. What he was “receiving” was nothing more than his own precious wishes broadcast back to himself—an echo of his own devising. He believed that something lay beyond, and so that became a singular obsession. (When you believe in magic, it is easy to see all the universe as evidence of it.)

Empire’s End

Based on this, I conjecture the Emperor (and now Snoke) ultimately planned to use the corrupted essence on Jakku as a means of harnessing this dark power to achieve his goal of controlling reality itself. However, Tarkin suggests harnessing such power requires two people – the power has to be directed by one into the other. This is where the Chosen One and his descendants come in:

Snoke demurred. “It is far more than that. It is where you are from. What you are made of. The dark side-and the light. The finest sculptor cannot fashion a masterpiece from poor materials. He must have something pure, something strong, something unbreakable, with which to work. I have-you.” He paused, reminiscing.

Using such power is extremely dangerous if it’s not being channeled through a or into a medium with the right qualities – much like a Kyber crystal. The Skywalkers, being descended from the Force itself, are made of the right ‘stuff’ to do this properly – if shaped correctly. If this is correct, this is what the Emperor intended with Vader and Luke and Snoke with Ben. However, the need for proper shaping may not have been apparent. This is where Rey comes in.

Rey Skywalker’s Abduction

At the time Ben was born, Snoke was not in a position to risk detection by Luke and worked to subtlely corrupt the boy. This was a long term project with an uncertain payoff, so when a new opportunity presented itself – the birth of Luke’s daughter – Snoke shifted his efforts to kidnapping her outright. After succeeding in grabbing her, Snoke wasted no time and had his agents bring her directly to Jakku. Snoke hoped she alone would be enough to properly channel or store the power and wanted to act before Luke could find her (as this was a rather dangerous experiment, it’s likely one of Snoke’s apprentices conducted it rather than Snoke himself). The process was incredibly traumatic for young Rey and she did something no one expected – she created a mental shield. For those present the result was possibly catastrophic. Much like an improperly faceted Kyber, the energy went everywhere – possibly killing or driving anyone in the vicinity insane. While Rey herself wasn’t directly affected, her block had the side-effect of making it appear that she had died to anyone connected to her. A few of Snoke’s agents survived to make it back and inform him of what happened.

With one Skywalker child apparently lost to him, Snoke was forced to turn back to Ben. Further, he was also now aware that Ben had to be both willing and properly prepared for his plan to work.

Notes:

1) In the past, Jakku was once a living world. Given the anomolies in the Unknown Regions and Jakku’s location, it’s possible the essence was once used to stop something that threatened the galaxy. An unfortunate side-effect was life was scoured from the planet.

2) I’ve previously discussed that the research facility’s purpose was tied to the essence. It’s possible it was researching using Force sensitives captured by the Inquisitors to channel the energy there. That the Empire defended the facility for a time before destroying it suggests there was some important work that could only be done after the essence was corrupted.

3) There are other Observatories throughout the galaxy. It’s possible others contain a borehole like the one on Jakku.

4) Who’s supposed to function as the ‘bait’ and who is the ‘vessel’ and what they even mean isn’t clear.

5) I’m well aware this is stretching the limits of what we know. This is conjectural and an attempt at making sense of the disparate pieces of information we have. It’s meant to be a potential staring point.

6) It’s possible Snoke thought the process might corrupt her similar to making a Kyber ‘bleed’.

Appendix: Indications Rey suffered severe Force Trauma

I’ve been promoting the idea since April 2016 that Rey suffered severe Force trauma during the events of her abandonment and inadvertently blocked her own connection which gave the impression she had been killed. I even correctly predicted the concentrated Force presence at the Observatory based on the theory. Here is what I consider the canonical evidence for it:

Rey’s immediate response to the Forceback is to go back to her life on Jakku. Before Maz says anything about belonging, Rey’s immediate reaction is to go back to what she knows. Further, she had spent the first part of the film anxiously insisting she needed needed to get back to Jakku even though she had only been gone a short period of time suggesting she was afraid of more than just missing her family.

Rey’s strongest reaction came when Maz encouraged her to open herself to the Force and take the lightsaber. The Forceback was scary, but running randomly into the forest seems like an overreaction, unless the experience was triggering a much deeper and older fear.

The awakening itself. None of the other canonical examples of people discovering their potential has been described this way. Each of the other examples simply became aware of what they were already doing.

The timing of the awakening. Rey’s awakening happened when she first did something outside of her comfort zone and overcame her fear of leaving Jakku.

Her dreams of green planets came when she was on the edge of sleep. Her block was at its weakest when she was close to unconsciousness, allowing the Force in.

The barrier Kylo encountered in Rey’s mind in the novelization. When he pushed against it, she found herself in his mind. That pushing against it produced such a visceral reaction suggests the barrier was internal in origin.

Rey’s instinctive ability to tap into the Force. Many people have commented on how quickly Rey picked up Force abilities. Canonically, the hardest initial obstacle to overcome for those who have just learned of their potential is how to let the Force in. Rey does it intuitively, suggesting it used to be second nature even if she never received any formal training.

In Empire’s End, Gallius Rax pushes Yupe Tashu into the well with several Sith artifacts, corrupting the ‘essence’ in the planetary core. There is now a massive concentration of dark side energy at the heart of Jakku.

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[alexsunmners]

Quit smiling at me, I can’t stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that. -with Eggsy? ❤️

a/n; love me some secret pining and friends to lovers @kurtwxgners @mvximoff @paperclipmac @rax-writes @emmcfrxst enjoy some soft eggsy

Eggsy Unwin has been in love with you for about as long as he can remember now. You’ve been best friends since you moved in next door to him at about age seven. After the initial tension and uncertainty, the two of you were inseparable. Twelve years later, that hasn’t changed. He’s still just as smitten with you at age nineteen as he was when he was ten. He’s so unsubtle about it that sometimes he wonders if you know he’s in love with you, if you’re just brushing it off because you don’t feel the same way. Other times, it feels like maybe your feelings for him are the same, that you’re just wholly oblivious of his feelings for you. Either way, he’s never been brave when it comes to you, and he’s made his peace with being your best friend if that’s all he can have. 

It’s late afternoon in the summer and you’re pushing his baby sister in her pram through a park. You’re laughing at some stupid joke he made and the sunlight filtering through the trees makes you look golden and his heart feels like it’s swelling in his chest. “Seriously, Eggsy. That was rubbish,” you giggle, looking over at him with a dazzling smile that makes his mouth go suddenly dry. “Honestly, I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard a joke so bad in my life.” 

“C’mon love, it was funny! See, you’re laughing!” he protests defensively, grinning at you. You roll your eyes as you laugh and the smile you flash him makes his next words stop in his throat. You raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue, but all he can do is stare at you, a small smile curving his lips. 

“Was there more to that thought, Unwin or did it stop there?” you prompt him with a fond smile and his thoughts stumble again. “Earth to Eggsy,” you quip and he flushes slightly, laughing. 

“You gotta stop smiling at me like that. Makes me mess up my words when you look at me like that,” he protests, not really thinking as the words come out. He can see the slightly stunned look cross your face and then you smile at him again, and he forgets to worry about whether he’s made things awkward. 

“I’ll stop smiling when you stop making terrible jokes, deal?”

“Deal.”

[luminousfinn]

I don’t have words for how insanely disturbing it is the length people in this fandom will go to deny that the First Order is meant as an overt, aggressive, no holds barred, slap in your face, undeniable Nazi parallel. And that Hux is meant to parallel the fanaticism and eagerness of that regime’s high ranking officers to cleanse the world of those they considered lesser and impure, and spread their territory as wide as they could.

Because unlike with George Lucas who seemed to mostly use the Nazi theme for an aesthetic and a shorthand for “really evil bad guys”, and only much later seemed to even begin to take this even remotely as serious as it should be, TFA and the new EU takes it more seriously.

From Gallius Rax who can probably be said to be the founding father of The First Order, at least it seems to be him who gathers the people who will go on to found it. Among these people are Brendol Hux, father of Armitage Hux, the general with the hard on for genocide.

Rax in the Aftermath books straight up uses white supremacist rhetoric about how the Empire have grown weak with impurities (i.e. consorting constantly with lesser species) and needs to be broken down a purified, so it can be reborn strong.

Now white supremacy rhetorics in Star Wars aren’t aimed at humans with a different color of skin, that’s not how racism works in Star Wars. In this universe white supremacy = human supremacy. Instead of white people being the superior species, it’s humans are the superior species. The rhetorics themselves though, doesn't change.

So yeah, not only was the Empire grossly racist - Star Wars style that is - the First Order continues and enhances this. For one thing you never see a single alien among them and the talk of the older Stormtroopers in BtA shows that the FO have a very strong “white supremacist” rhetoric going where non-humans are concerned.

And then of course there’s the absolutely and overt visual parallel. From the bloody uniforms and the arm bands, to the damn Star Killer speech.

Speaking of that.

Not only does the delivery of it sound like listening to one of those made by Der Führer, even its content sounds like it’s been lifted directly and then translated into English:

Today is the end of the Republic! The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder!

At this very moment, in a system far from here the New Republic LIES to the GALAXY while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance. This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate! To their cherished fleet!          

All remaining systems will bow to the First Order! And will remember this... as the last day of the Republic!

Switch out the words Republic and First Order for their real life equivalents and you have something that could have been spoken at a rally in Nazi Germany.

Oh, and lets not forget the salute at the end up of it.

Look at this and tell me to my Jewish face that that is not meant to look like a heil?

So really, tell me again how Abrams and Kasdan - two Jewish men - did not intend this as an overt Nazi parallel? That this is all incidental? That they’re “only meant to be fascist”?

And for the record, that last argument is gross and ignorant all of its own. All it does is display how oblivious and uneducated the user is as to what fascist regimes have done historically and even now to their population and to occupied territories. Often with both the blessing and the help of the countries where the people who use the “they’re only fascists” are coming from.

So next time before you even consider using that argument, educate yourself on fascism around the world and what your own country have done to promote it.