#ravvy is an irredeemable lore hound

[ravanaugh-runner]

So is everyone aware of the Portal to Perim archive? It’s all copied over from the official card game’s website before it was shut down, to my knowledge. I have a foggy memory of the official site, and it seems to be fairly reliable. You can read extra goodies about the lore of each card, and some of it overlaps with the show. In particular, I’m interested in how it skirts around the mention of humans

We all know what Kaz did to the first Viledriver. The description doesn’t lie; the Viledriver did have mechanical problems–the cannon didn’t work– and it was destroyed in an accident in his lab – *glares at Kaz*. But it sounds like the machine simply broke down. So what, I thought, is this a parallel version of the game’s lore where humans aren’t in Perim? 

And here it is again, the first Phobia mask was destroyed in a... mysterious accident.

That’s a lot more obvious. Sounds like a cover-up, even. 

I’m a little leery of taking the Portal’s word as absolute, even if it is official. We’re all familiar with the fluctuating creature designs, not to mention the wiki. I mean, look at this drastically different account of how the Telebracers got made

But wait!

Therefore it is very hard to get a scan of this particular Battlegear. So there’s talk of scanning, which means humans! Even though the Portal makes a point of not mentioning humans directly, they are obviously causing significant disruptions in Perim.

So what? You could say the Portal is old and incompatible, but I don’t want to give up on it. Of course Khybon wouldn’t tell Chaor he made a deal with H’earring to let two Chaotic Players into the forge who then destroyed his brand new gear. Of course mechanical problems would be the story Ulmar and Chaor decided to tell the public. It’s embarrassing to have others know you let humans get into your lab to screw up your work. They’re so stupid and loud, how bad is your security? How incompetent are you? You don’t want it to be common knowledge how much humans can compromise your most sensitive projects and get away with it. It’s stressful enough keeping the upper hand on a three-front war, but now you’ve got these sneaky little rats appearing in your lab at literally any time. So of course you keep these little embarrassments under wraps. No-one needs to know. Don’t want the word getting out that the humans’ permeating influence is getting to your proud nation. I’m sure the other tribes hear reports about mysterious mishaps and have their suspicions, but they’re busy fudging the proper explanations for their malfunctioning prototypes. Hell, this is probably where the belief that humans are always spying for other tribes comes from. Nobody screws up that bad and that frequently on purpose. (badly underestimating humans’ ability to just be The Worst)

And yeah, totally guys, the Underworld didn’t need to steal their prize Battlegear from the Overworlders, the real story is Ulmar made it and the other tribes stole it you guys. At least, that’s the propaganda they fed to the general public.