#ravenpaw feeling so horrible and ashamed for putting his brother at risk but loving him too much to permanently separate

[oakshade]

[CW: Shipcest/Toxic Relationship]

Thinking of Ravenpaw and Dustpaw again, thinking of their feelings and how they treat each other

I think that they'd snuggle often, that they like being affectionate, but that Dustpaw will absolutely NOT do that in front of the clan. Not because it's his brother, but because it's Ravenpaw. Ravenpaw is sheepish and embarrassing and anxious, he can't be seen actually liking that guy. That's embarrassing! If Ravenpaw ever asks about it, like, "are you sure you even like me?", or WHY, Dustpaw would just very casually respond that it's fine for him to behave the way he does. Anyone else would, it's Ravenpaw we're talking about. Maybe if he didn't want cats to be so ashamed of him, he should try acting more like a normal tom. Ravenpaw being perpetually insecure and Dustpaw being perpetually embarrassed about him, both for the ENTIRELY wrong reasons. Ravenpaw sometimes thinks about asking if they can stop being pretend-mates because he feels so bad about how humiliated Dustpaw is to be associated with him, it tears him apart to feel so hated by someone he loves. And Dustpaw just drags him back in by insisting he loves him too, by taking him away so they can spend time together without the awkward tension of trying not to get caught.

And then they go right back to the same painful relationship as before. Dustpaw probably really did think that Ravenpaw was gone or dead or something when he went to live on the farm,,