#rather then ‘fit in’ I think that Dazai goals are a bit more self actualizing

[ahli-stuff]

Yeah!

I didn't want to make the reblog chain any longer but I just wanted to say I actually don't consider Fyodor's attachment to Dazai as one sided because of this statement from Asagiri: "There are rare moments when Dazai shows his very “human” side. That is when he talks to another superhuman who is on the same level with him. The other is when he talks about his old friend who has passed." But like you mentioned, they're on opposite sides so they're totally doomed hehe. Some fyozai fans like to create AUs where Dazai convinces Fyodor to embrace goodness, but I like thinking about the reverse where Fyodor convinces Dazai to embrace evilness. 😈Imagine how terrifying that would be to have the both of them as antagonists? Nobody would be able to stop them.

AH, hello rblogger! It’s funny that you said you didn’t want to make the reblog chain longer, because I was making a another separate post in my drafts for that exact same reason. This is the current tag of that post:

And that quote! I’ve never seen it before, that’s so interesting! It recontextualizes what I previously thought about about Dazai’s feelings towards Fyodor. Funny how a certain redhead isn’t included in the people Dazai shows his “human side” to, isn’t it? (I’m sorry skk shippers please don’t kill me.)

To me, it seems that there are two faces to Dazai’s “human” side. There is the part of him that good be traditionally considered “good” and the part of him that could be traditionally considered “evil.” A paraphrased version of a quote I almost remember by heart, is when Oda tells Dazai: “if it makes no difference to you whether you kill or save people in this world, be on the side that saves people.”

In the context of the quote you mentioned and the one I just did, Fyodor represents “kill” and Oda represents “save,” the two ends of the spectrum of what kind of “human” Dazai could be.

With this information, I would consider fyozai’s dynamic requited, but I also think… that’s only if Oda’s character ceases to exist.

I firmly believe that in every universe that Oda and Dazai exist, Dazai chooses Oda. Above Fyodor, above Chuuya, above Atsushi, above the armed detective agency, above the entire world—Dazai will screw up the lives of everybody as long as he can save Oda.

This is evidenced in the Beast universe: a world where Dazai does exactly that.

It could then be plausibly believed that Fyodor and Dazai have a chance at being ride-or-die partners in crime in an alternate universe where Dazai exists and Oda doesn’t—but I highly doubt that. Dazai and Oda’s fates are so intertwined across universes that in every universe where Dazai lives, Oda dies. The opposite is also true; in the only universe that Oda lives, Dazai dies.

Out of billions of universes, the only one where Oda lives, Dazai must die. I argue this shows the sheer extent to which Dazai and Oda’s fate are intertwined, and because they are intertwined, Oda is a central part of Dazai’s character development in every universe.

Of course Dazai being friends with Fyodor and Dazai being friends with Oda aren’t mutually exclusive things, but any kind of relationship Dazai would willingly entertain with Fyodor would always be colored by Oda’s influence, if you know what I mean?

It’s like… having a very memorable ex, even though I don’t ship Odazai.

It is my of my opinion, canonically, that Oda is the only person with the capacity to significantly change Dazai. That is what I mean by Fyodor and Dazai’s dynamic being unrequited—it could be requited, Fyodor understands Dazai, so he could theoretically change him, but it will never be to the degree that Oda changes Dazai. I believe Dazai will always put Oda’s words above everyone else’s, and I believe Oda exists in every universe Dazai exists in.

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

Heya, could I ask for the ikevamp boys finding mc passed out at the table surrounded by work? Uni's been killing me lately. If all of them is too much then just Leonardo, Jean, Comte, Theo and Mozart? Thanks x

I cried five times while making this.

Dear Anon! Thanks sooo mush for the request. 😘I’m sorry for taking this looooong I also have a shit ton of work but HERE IT IS. I hope things get better for you and good luck!😘❤️❤️ I added a different type of uni to each of the guys just to make it interesting. @nad-zeta your daily dose of Theo. XD. Love you. Hope you enjoy! Ok here we go!

Ikevamp boys x an overworked mc

Leonardo

he just woke up from one of his naps and he decided he’s going to have a snack most probably mc

as he’s walking towards kitchen he spots you sleeping on one of the tables in the library surrounded by a huge pile of books, pens and papers

now he knew that you refused to give up on the uni you where going to when you came here but he’s still a bit surprised

he walks up to you and takes a peek at what you are studying 

architecture

more specifically some designs he came up with

*eyes emoji*

after the initial shock of finding out you where studying his work he smiles and picks you up and caries you to your bed

from that moment on he will always help you with whatever you are studying and always makes sure you take breaks

Comte

he was walking around socializing with the residents when he stumbled upon you snoozing on the dining table buried in a mountain of book

ha was aware of your studies and offered to let you off work completely

but you insisted on dedicating 4 days a week on housework

however this meant you had to study like crazy

when he saw you there he already knew what’s wrong

he panicked internally but calmly walked to your side

he didn’t insist one knowing what exactly you where studying but this was so convenient he just had to take a look

finance studies

well damn

finds it very amazing that you manege to work and study that at the same time

sighs and carefully picks you up and takes you to bed

after that he makes sure you get enough rest in between study sessions

he will spoil you a bit more and offer to help with your studies

Jean

ok so we know poor baby can’t read

he doesn’t get why you are so passionate about your university

what did you call your studies? Linguistics? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

he has no idea what you are talking about but he loves you and loves that you have a passion

when he sees you passed out in your room in a very uncomfortable position surrounded by books...

...panic

oh wait no panic you probably just fell asleep ‘cause you where tiered

wait tiered?

panic

he will pick you up and take you to your room, makes sure you are tucked it

from that moment on he will make sure you get enough rest

Isaac

precious little bean

on one hand he understands why you are so passionate about your studies on the other he is worried

one time you where working late into the night and he asked you to stop and you brought up the argument that he does the same

so he decided not to stop you

however when he finds you passed out in the gazebo...

nope.

he is panicked and scared and angry at himself for not realizing sooner

he hurries to your side when one of your books catches his eye

you are studying quantum physics?

say what?

ok he now has a whole lot of respect for you

he will gently shake you awake

“ Mmmhmm...I did my essay” “Y/N it’s me, wake up”

you immediately wake up

“ Don’t ever do that again. You scared me.”

Now you guys study together so cute

Napoleon

UMMMMMM boy

if he saw you just hanging off a table passed out he will have a heart attack

then he will realize that you are just sleeping and you are not dead so he will calm down a bit

he can’t resist the urge to take a look at what you are studying either

politics

interesting.

so you want a  politics degree

what you will do with it he has no idea. After all you are in a different time period, but he thinks  it’s good to have a goal

what he doesn’t think is good is over working your self

“nunuche wake up” “noooooooooo I won’t wake up unless you do what I do to wake you up”

so he will kiss you and you agree to wake up how adorable i  think i’m going to cry over my own work damn I’m weird  

If he ever see you looking even a little tiered he will steal you away and you will cuddle

Arthotthur

Heart attack nr.2

oh no wait my bird is just sleeping

he’s not happy

ok let me rephrase that

he’s happy that you are happy but he’s not ok with the fact that you have overworked yourself and on top of that he’s beating himself up for not noticing earlier

he’s debating whether you’d be more pissed if he carried you to your room* or if he woke you up when something catches his attentive eye

you where studying to get a bachelor's degree in English whaaaaaat!

will go through your notes and

when he finds out you want to become a writer.....

Omg fanboy mode: activate

“ I didn’t know I had such an effect on you Luv”

you: say wut? Arthur I became writer because I wanted to

Now you two run around n the corridors smiling like dorks and narrating random events when your free and he writes next to you when you study   ( to keep and eye on you. He loves you so much)

* if that doesn’t apply to you I’m sorry. I try to write from another persons prospective, but a lot of my writing is based of my reactions to a situation or my personality. In this case I’d be pissed if he left my stuff there or went into my room ( it’s my sanctuary ok my disaster). And waking me up oh no bitch run. But on a serious note don’t be mad if it doesn’t fit your description, and if it didn’t and you want me to change something feel free to let me know. Ok next victim:

Theo

to say he’s pissed is an understatement

he’s pissed at you for taking it to far but he’s pissed at himself a lot little more for not noticing sooner

like his bff he’ll also be contemplating taking you to bed rather then yelling you awake like witch one will end up in a bigger slap

then he notices what you are studying

art

when you are done with this you are literally going to get an art degree

Theo ex. has stopped working

he is getting emotional on the inside

 will gently take you to bed and tuck you in

he’ll pat your head “ Creative Hondjie”. He has such a gentle smile on his face god I can picture it I’m crying

from then on when you have a project he will help criticize you and he will help you progress with your art

 will be keeping an eye on you 25/7 yes 25 this guy will create a time loop if it meant that you had more time to do the things you love (ahem Theo) xd  no

all in all he will be just a little softer with you, but only you. And will also deny it if somebody points it out

Vincent

Let’s all just sit down, take a moment and appreciate Vincent

He will see you passed out and he will PANIC

he will rush up to you and make sure you are ok

also waking you up in the process

he will ask what you are studying

“sooo you want to become a chef”

Pffffffff we all know poor baby is parallel with cooking

like he will burn water

is super supportive tho gee who would have thought

this boy is an angel and will help you cook

Jesus I hope Comte has fire insurance

you have a lot of fun with him and he will actually end up learning a few things form you.

will make sure you never overwork yourself again

 Dazai

this dork almost stepped on you

you had passed out under you window , ‘cause you had been studying on the floor

and this guy came waltzing in through the window

“Toshiko-san? Toshikooooo shit”

*cricket sounds* yup

he will squat down next to you and poke your cheek

“ what are you doing on the floor?” you: “what are you doing in my room?”

OOOOH GOT ‘EM

you two of you will laugh about it and he will ask you what you are studying

you proudly shove your text book under his nose

“ well well Toshiko-san want’s to take care of small animals?”

you: Yes, like Isaac

he’s not really fazed by you falling asleep but  will make sure you don’t overwork and if he sees you getting tired he will crack a few terrible jokes to lighten your mood and then he will proceed to steel you away

Mozart

ok now clean freak here is going to be worried

not panicked just worried

uhum Wolf you keep telling yourself that

you where studying in the music room while Wolf was playing

suddenly he heard a thump

he stopped and looked around only to find you passed out on the table

seems like the all-nighter combined with the music led you to fall asleep

he’s frozen for a hot second until he realizes you are just sleeping

he will slowly walk up to you and poke you with a broom ‘cause he doesn’t want to touch you

Jkjk

he will go up to you and gently attempt to shake you awake when he notices what your studying

 you where studying music

“Marry me?”

he will wake you up and question you about it

from that moment on he actually helps you a little when you don’t get something and you study in the music room at all times because” it’s noisy outside”

we know you just care about her Mozart

Sebastian

he flicks your forehead

that’s it. Thant’s the canon

no I’m kidding he knows how much you study and is worried about you even before you pass out

and when you do that’s it

he scoops you up and takes you to your bed

he only flicks your forehead when you wake up

yeah you get an ear full from him

he asks what you are studying and tell him you want a degree in history

ok suddenly he’s not mad at you

from that moment on he always makes sure you are not over working

he actually shows you his notebook and you find it fascinating 

now you both collectively stalk the residents

William

y’all aren’t ready for this

when he sees you passed out in the garden he’s ready to pull out a gun and kill anyone and everyone who dared harm you

then he realizes you’re actually sleeping and he calms down a bit ( he’ll keep the gun tho shhhhh don’t tell Comte)

he will gently pat your hair and just look at you

when you wake up he will ask you what you are studying

you are a complete blushing mess when you tell him you want to become an actress

he’s shooketh and also really happy at the same time

now he takes you with him to the theater and he gives you a role to play and he watches while you practice

he’s also super attentive and will never let you overwork yourself again

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Stay safe everyone! 😘😘😘

[somniatcr]

      character study series--- d.azai o.samu

where do i even begin--- dazai is possibly... probably... the most complex character within my little roster. and, like izaya  ( who i’ve already done a post like this for, which can be found here )  and the rest of my muses i suppose, my dazai is very headcanon based  ( though i do take a lot of reference from the series itself, i tend to portray him as i see fit and most enjoy doing so without sacrificing the things that i believe to be pivotal to his character );  to be entirely honest, when it comes to the manga, for bungou stray dogs and for nearly every series to ever exist, i’m not, nor do i imagine that i will ever be, entirely caught up.

all that said, let us delve into dazai; into the way that he thinks, the way that he functions, the way that he acts, and generally who is he as a person  ( as well as how i, personally, view and portray his character ).

let me first kick things off with a significant change that i’ve made in regard to his character, in how he’ll be portrayed here on this blog. dazai canonically has a deeply troubled mind. though his frequent, and oftentimes wistful, talk of death and his suicidal behaviors are rarely, if ever, taken seriously within the series itself  ( rather being treated as a source of comedic relief, which does somewhat bother me, but it is what it is ),  likely due to this penchant that he has for jesting and for over-dramatics, the reality that his mind is very dark and very deeply troubled remains. he feels as though there is this deep, dark hole  ( an emptiness, a void )  within him that he’s incapable of filling, regardless of however hard that he tries. a large majority of his life was spent dedicated to this, to trying to fill it, to trying to find some sort of reason to live  ( which is why he had initially aligned himself with the port mafia to begin with; he believed that he could, perhaps, find what he’d been searching for, what he’d been longing for, if he lived this life of conflict, of bloodshed and war ),  though, obviously, this was to no avail. and while, yes, he will at times use self-depreciating humor, and while, yes, at times his humor may be dark, a bit morbid, his depression and his suicidal thoughts, tendencies, are not rooted in comedy, they are not a source of comedic relief and i, personally, don’t write him, portray him, in that particular light.

that said, does he ultimately want to die? in his youth, yes, absolutely. he hadn’t yet met anyone that he cared for  ( he had no attachments, had never felt nor experienced any genuine form of love ).  he too no joy from life, spent all this time searching, aching, for purpose, yet couldn’t find it.

and then he met people who meant something. he met chuuya who, though he was adamant that he couldn’t stand him, was interesting. he met odasaku, who managed to break through his barriers unlike anyone before  ( or after )  him, who wormed his way into dazai’s heart and gave him this friendship that he never knew that he’d wanted, nor needed, who provided him with a much needed positive role model and with this beacon of hope. this--- this was pivotal in setting about a turning point, in finally setting him on a different path, in giving him the purpose that he’d been searching for all those years. although an irrefutable tragedy, oda’s death ultimately brought about new life in that it  ( and in oda’s dying words )  gave dazai a will to live.

all the same, he does still suffer from depression, he’s an insomniac, and he does still struggle with suicidal ideation  ( in that he still thinks about death, about dying and all of the ways that he could go about doing it, fairly often ). 

moving on,

this is a man with a very dark and violent past, an important thing to keep in mind. while little is known about his past bar from the knowledge that he was affiliated with the port mafia, that he’s been rooted within this world since he was around fourteen years old, back when he met mori ougai  ( as well as the fact that he managed to wind up being the youngest executive in port mafia history ),  it can be surmised that his time spent working beneath mori likely, at least in part, has resulted in his penchant for apathy, his tendency to emotionally detach himself from others, from death, and from traumatic experiences as a whole  ( he’s actually been shown attempting to fill that hole in his heart, in fact, to find joy, to feel something in causing harm to and in killing others, though he never quite does manage to get what he wants ).  his experience as a killer and as highly skilled interrogator  ( it’s worth noting that he, in fact, specialized in torturing others for information; he’s even once gone so far as to state that there wasn’t a single prisoner who ultimately didn’t wind up spilling everything when he was the one tasked with retrieving it--- and while still being a child ),  has been alluded to on more than one occasion and, even to this day, he still manages to command respect and to inspire fear throughout the port mafia, albeit no longer being a member himself.

he is unconcerned with the idea good and evil. while he currently affiliates himself with the armed detective agency, now working to protect  ( and to save )  the city and the lives of its inhabitants, his motivation to do so was primarily spurred by the words of a friend prior to his passing;  ’ be on the side that saves people. if both sides are the same, be a good man; save the weak and protect the orphans. neither good nor evil means much to you, i know… but that’d make you at least a little bit better. i know better than anyone because… i am your friend. ’

it’s these words, oda sakunosuke, that finally sets him on a different path, that leads him to meeting the members of the armed detective agency, that leads him to meeting nakajima atsushi, an orphan who’s life he, ultimately, does wind up making a difference in, providing him with much needed guidance  ( though to say that all of his methods, and all of his motives, in doing so are genuinely good, genuinely selfless, and always would be a little hard-pressed--- also, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is the second orphan to have been taken beneath his wing; the first being akutagawa ryunosuke who’s experiences with dazai were significantly different, the training that he endured beneath him being absolutely hellish, horrific, and cruel ).

ultimately, with him, the ends justify the means and, so, the actions, whether good or evil, mean little to him. he’s willing to use any means, any method, to achieve his goals; this includes playing dirty, causing harm to others, killing / death when deemed necessary, and so on and so forth. such as, for example, purposefully deflating the airbag in someone’s car prior to a car ‘accident’, in turn causing extensive injuries that he’s only willing to have healed by a fellow ability user in exchange for having a young girl pardoned of her past crimes. the end goal was ultimately good, sure, but the means of getting there were anything but.

he’s also an exceptional liar. while his ability to intricately weave together falsehoods, from the most small and insignificant of lies to the most complex of tales, comes naturally, his time spent working for the port mafia only honed his abilities further. and while is doesn’t lie constantly, perhaps not even frequently  ( instead opting to simply abstain from providing an answer altogether ),  he is, in himself, a walking fabrication, putting on a perennial facade all his own; fake. his true thoughts and emotions are rarely so much as even alluded to, frequently hidden behind a mask of his creation, perfectly crafted and nearly impossible to crack. furthermore, his true intentions, frequently, are left unrevealed until he, himself, chooses to reveal them. in truth, there isn’t a person alive who truly knows or who genuinely understands him. there are a select few  ( such as mori ougai, nakahara chuuya )  who come, in their own way, close through all of their time spent working with him  ( a former mentor, a former partner ),  though none are able to comprehend his actions, his mind, in their entirely, not quite the way that oda was once able to.

it doesn’t help that he is also a man of mystery and deflection. while he may talk and act as though he’s an open book  ( and believe me, he does just this and often ),  he rarely, if ever, speaks of himself, in regard to his past and present alike. thoughts are locked away, left solely for him to ruminate upon, and emotions are kept hidden, locked deep, deep within, if not attempted to be brushed away in their entirety. furthermore, he has a habit of leaving his comrades, his friends if you can quite call them that, in the dark when it comes to long-game plans and strategies that he has devised and it’s virtually impossible to get a straight or genuine answer from him upon asking a question, so most times it isn’t even worth the effort that it takes to form the words  ( not that this has ever stopped anyone from trying, much to their ultimate chagrin ).

and, finally, a basic character and personality breakdown,

name.  DAZAI OSAMU, 太宰治 age / d.o.b.  22 / JUNE 19 species.  HUMAN / GIFTED ethnicity.  JAPANESE gender.  CIS-MALE, HE / HIM occupation.  DETECTIVE / PORT MAFIA EXECUTIVE  ( FORMER ) affiliation.  ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY / PORT MAFIA  ( FORMER ) height.  181 CM / 5'11" weight.  67 KG / 147-148 LBS build.  SLIM, LONG-LIMBED hair color.  DEEP BROWN, ESPRESSO; MILD, NATURAL WAVES eye color.  RED-BROWN, CHESTNUT blood type.  AB r / o, s / o.  DEMIROMANTIC PANSEXUAL noticeable features.  WEARS BANDAGES THAT COVER THE LARGE MAJORITY OF HIS BODY  ( * explanation to be provided below );  ONLY HIS FACE, HANDS, AND FEET REMAIN UNCOVERED

ability.  NO LONGER HUMAN      **  his ability allows him to effectively nullify the abilities of others entirely upon contact, whether with the user themselves or a physical manifestation of their ability. he’s often referred to as an anti-ability user or anti-gifted. zodiac.  GEMINI religious belief(s).  ATHEIST mbti.  INTJ alignment.  CHAOTIC NEUTRAL temperament.  CHOLERIC mental health.  DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL IDEATION pos traits.  QUICK THINKER, SHARP, IMAGINATIVE, CLEVER, STRATEGIC, DECISIVE, SELF-CONFIDENT, INDEPENDENT, DETERMINED, OBSERVANT, PERCEPTIVE, CALM, COLLECTED, LOGICAL, OPEN-MINDED, QUICK LEARNER, ADAPTABLE, WELL-READ, A JACK OF ALL TRADES neg traits.  SECRETIVE, DETACHED, JUDGEMENTAL, ARROGANT, OVERLY DRAMATIC, UNPREDICTABLE, CONFUSING / DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, CAN BE OVERLY ANALYTICAL, HAS DIFFICULTY WITH  ( AND LOATHES )  HIGHLY STRUCTURED ENVIRONMENTS, PRONE TO APATHY, PLAYS DIRTY, CAN BE CRUEL, FREQUENTLY INGENUINE neu traits.  WITTY, TEASING / JESTING, BLUNT, SOMEWHAT OF A FLIRT, PRONE TO SHIRKING CERTAIN RESPONSIBILITIES, HAS A HABIT OF EMBARRASSING OTHERS  ( VERY INTENTIONALLY )

he covers himself in bandages for two very specific reasons. the first being that his body is absolutely riddled with scars; while some were obtained during his port mafia days, equally as many were self-inflicted. the second, they serve as a sort of security blanket, providing him with an unconventional source of comfort.

he’s very well read. he enjoys novels of a wide variety, though he’s usually only seen reading books about suicide or death. he isn’t partial to poetry, however.

he isn’t a big eater whatsoever. he’s generally a one meal per day sort of person and doesn’t snack particularly often furthermore.

he listens to music fairly often during his free time  ( when he isn’t reading ).  while he doesn’t have much of a preference as far as genres are concerned, he does gravitate primarily toward music that he finds calming, more mellow, or relatable.

he’s highly skilled in the art of lock-picking. he could chalk it up to his time spent with the port mafia, but in truth it’s a talent he’s had since he was a kid.

he doesn’t have a drivers license. he’s never been especially concerned with getting himself one and doesn’t really find that he feels the need for one even now.

he dislikes fizzy and / or bubbly beverages. for the most part, he’s a tea or a coffee drinker, although he’s fine with water, too. also, whiskey. he loves a good whiskey.

he enjoys good company  ( although he finds that it’s rare to come by ),  good and meaningful conversation, summer storms, late night rain showers, autumn leaves, seafood, and fresh, clean scents.

he dislikes overly sweet foods, the sound of babies crying  ( and loud noises in general ),  dogs, hot weather, and boring, tedious, and / or repetitive work  ( such as paperwork, for example ).

he frequently smells of soap, laundry detergent, and cotton intermingled with a natural scent all his own; fresh, warm, and clean with a hint of musk.