#rather than like what would a str8 guy think if he saw me walking down the street

[cruelsister-moved2]

I was wondering if you could elaborate on what you mean by you don’t think femme4femme is a thing? Like do you not agree with it or not think people have that experience, or is a historical or terminological disagreement?

no like theres plenty of feminine women who want to fuck other feminine women it just doesnt really have much to do with the butch/femme subculture and like most people who are going out of their way to announce that they're femme4femme are just doing it in a defensive like uhmm i only like pretty cute soft pink uwu girlsss 🥺 way thats just terminally irritating 😭 ur the default majority already so it like comes hand in hand with this idea that butch4femme couples are like somehow privileged and proximal to heterosexuality or something ... and to me in that context femme is just meaning like that ur a feminine woman in purely aesthetic terms so like idrc if ur using that word to describe who u wanna bang in the appropriate context, but i dont think it constitutes a femme identity in the butchfemme way which literally only exists in the first place out of courting rituals between butch and femme women. so yeah its historical/terminological for sure, hopefully what i said makes sense<3

i do think its worth considering like how internalised lesbophobia and the stigmatisation of gnc women etc might be affecting this and like i say, a lot of the like aggressively femme4femme ppl are young gays w a lot of internalised lesbophobia who need to make it clear that theyre like an acceptable pretty soft whatever lesbian not like those dykes, but thats not me saying that ur problematic for not fancying butches or something - like were the roles reversed id be the exact same bc feminine women just arent what's attractive to me n thats fine. but the reason a lot of our hackles go up at that term is because through experience we've come to associate it with dehumanisation of our partners and dismissal of our desire, etc. a lot of ppl have some kind of variation and maybe like really androgynous girls or all sorts of girls who are both feminine and masculine or whatever whereas i feel like if ur out the gate dismissive of anyone whos not hyperfeminine that is just to me more likely a sign that uve got some stuff to deal with. but thats for u & like ill never dismiss someone purely based on who theyre attracted to thats crazy but if ur framing it in a way thats clearly defensive against proximity to the gnc women in ur community or something then yeah i dont think you have any right to the subculture which they built and defended as a safe space from people exactly like u!! i hope that makes sense and any follow up qs are totally welcome if i said anything that confused u or u dont agree, i hope i dont come off hostile or anything 🥺 also i just realised i have a really bad habit of oscillating between second and third person when i start talking about an abstract group so jic im not referring to YOU, anon but to like a vague ye <3

[addictedtostorytelling]

Part 1- Hi! (Feel free to ignore I don’t want to bother you) your lost answer to anon got me thinking about an old headcanon I could never get str8 (Jate’s my lost otp & I love suliet to pieces). In “LaFleur”, sawyer says Kate’s face is gone from his memory, 3y’s enough to get over someone. But as soon as she’s back, he keeps glancing @ her as to figure out if he believes his own words. Except from the obvious writers’ ambiguous trick to keep the “square” alive for a bit longer,

Part 2- I thought it was some sort of leftover tenderness they shared toward each other (that Jack/Juliet didn’t get) cause despite their incompatibility, I believe they genuinely loved each other. So my question really is: do you think, post “the end” S & K find à way to accept that they care about each other, help each other get over their losses, learn to belong even if it’s just in each other’s lives (as friends or more) ? Sorry for this novel and thanks.

hey @clarissemcc!

so my headcanon for how things turn out with kate and sawyer post-island is definitely on the angsty side.

i’ll tuck it after the “keep reading,” just to be safe.

___________

as the final on-screen events of the original timeline in the series finale take place, jack has made the decision to remain behind on the island (where he soon dies), and juliet is already dead, meaning that both kate and sawyer return to civilization faced with the prospect of going through the rest of their lives bereft of their respective soulmates.

both of them undoubtedly mourn.

both of them undoubtedly suffer. 

but, ultimately, kate is better equipped to cope with her loss than sawyer is his.

that’s not to say that things are easy for kate, of course.

when she is finally reunited with jack in the flash-sideways universe, the sheer yearning in her “i’ve missed you so much” admission implies that she has likely spent years on years---a full lifetime---in the ot grieving him. 

losing jack after just having reconciled with him for the first time since their falling out in the wake of their broken engagement and after everything that they had been through together both on and off of the island most certainly leaves her heartbroken and reeling. 

she probably never really gets over mourning him and wondering “what if---?”

i honestly don’t see her ever getting in another long-term relationship or marrying after him; if she was going to “settle down” in that way, he was the one person she was going to do so with.

that said, i do think that, overall, she is able to face that grief (however long she has to) because she has a sense of purpose in leaving the island. 

she’s going to help claire raise aaron.

and i tend to believe that having someplace to go and something important to do helps her endure a life without jack.

that’s where she encounters whatever healing is available to her and “learns to belong,” like you talk about.

before crashing on the island, she is a fugitive runaway with nothing good or lasting in her life, but afterward she has two people who are looking to her to provide stability for them; she has a family, a home, and, most significantly, a reason to stick around.

not so with sawyer.

before the island, he is placeless---a traveling con man, in and out of prison, lacking a solid identity, much less a sense of purpose.

on the island, and particularly during the 70s in dharmaville, he finally gains grounding, becoming a super competent leader under the guise of jim lafleur and finding a partner---in every sense of the word---in juliet.

and had he been able to leave the island with juliet and marry her, as per his plan, i think he would have continued in the upward trajectory we see from him in s5 and s6. he would have listened to his better angels.

but in the wake of losing juliet, i’m not sure he can---and not just because she’s gone but because he blames himself for her death.

for as gut-wrenching as leaving jack behind on the island is for kate---and particularly knowing that he is badly wounded and possibly close to death---she can at least take solace in the fact that jack makes a choice for himself, and she can honor his willing sacrifice by taking care of his sister and nephew.

sawyer knows no such comfort.

he blames himself for juliet’s death on multiple levels: because he asked juliet to stay with him on the island for “two weeks” which turned into three years (see episode 05x08 “lafleur”); because his behavior around kate after she returned to the island eventually prompted juliet to sign on for jack’s plan to blow up the jughead (see episode 05x16 “the incident” pt. i); and because he literally couldn’t hold onto juliet and dropped her down the shaft (see episode 05x17 “the incident” pt. ii). 

though one could try to argue with him that juliet exercised personal agency both in remaining on the island with him AND detonating the bomb, his guilt and self-loathing would never accept such appeals.

in his mind, he killed the only person he ever truly loved.

and without her, not only does he have nowhere to go and nothing to do post-island, but he also carries with him the sense that he doesn’t deserve to get to go anywhere or do anything.

he doesn’t want to carry on in her absence.

he wants to suffer for his sins.

he wants to experience every moment of agony rightly owed him for his actions.

filled with guilt, pain, and the impulse to self-castigate, i just can’t imagine him faring well.

though kate might try to convince him to not give up, i don’t think he’d listen to her or accept any attempts by her to take care of him---and particularly not because he knows that part of what persuaded juliet to blow up the warhead was her assumption, however erroneous, that he would eventually choose kate over her (“i changed my mind when i saw you look at her”).

even just being around kate as a friend would trigger his guilt in the extreme.

and while he wouldn’t blame kate---as he says he doesn’t, per the scene on the pier---he would still blame himself.

he would always blame himself.

hate himself, even.

and a self-hating sawyer is a dangerous one.

i mean, self-hatred is what underlies his jerky, bullying, posturing behavior during the early seasons of the show, right? and, by comparison, that self-hatred is of a more “garden variety,” rooted in his sense that he has become someone despicable, rather than an extremely personal sense of loss (and fault).

so much more extreme will be his bent over juliet---and so much the worse his self-sabotaging behavior as a consequence.

the pre-show sawyer is an outlaw who lives dangerously, but he ultimately possesses a self-preservative instinct; he is a consummate survivor.

that’s part of what makes him and kate so similar.

and him and juliet, for that matter.  

but this sawyer---the one who feels responsible for getting the woman he loves killed---won’t care what happens to him anymore.

so he won’t do himself in all at once---not when he has a very strong sense that he deserves to suffer for what he has done for as long as possible---but he will drink and smoke himself sick and pick barfights with guys twice his size and run cons where he’s almost sure to get caught and then pull his gun on the cops who show up to arrest him; he’ll be a fucking mess, the likes of which would make even bearded, pill-popping, oceanic-six, los angeles jack go, “oh shit.”

and without any sense of grander purpose, i don’t know that sawyer would be able to pull himself out of the spiral.

kate might try to argue that he has an obligation to take care of himself if not for his own sake than for clementine’s, but he’d probably say that his daughter’s only interaction with him being by way of the trust fund he left for her is for the best.

honestly, i don’t think his story in the ot has any kind of happy ending.

and i don’t think he lasts as long as kate does.

just based on the way i understand his character, i doubt that sawyer allows himself to find any sort of refuge with kate post-island in the ot, either friendly or romantic, even if she tries to offer it to him. he also probably eschews company of any kind from anyone, including their other friends from the island. 

for my money, there is just too much hurt and guilt in him, for which he cannot permit himself any sort of peace, so he strikes out on his own (“some of us are meant to be alone”) to disastrous effect.

while kate undoubtedly worries about him, i think that at some point, probably sooner rather than later, she makes the conscious decision to focus her energies on claire and aaron, resigning herself to the fact that sawyer doesn’t want to be saved, and particularly not by her. 

ultimately, i think their paths diverge.

she learns to live again after the island, and he doesn’t.

all of this postulation given, i’m certainly not harshing on your headcanon! it’s way happier than mine and, frankly, a whole lot nicer to think about.

lest i end on a super negative note here, i’ll finish up by saying that i find it highly significant that in the flash-sideways, kate once again finds purpose in helping claire with aaron, while sawyer is searching---not only as a detective for his parents’ killer but literally walking around with a big, yellow sunflower (his bloom of choice for juliet), trying to find where (or rather to whom) he belongs, hopeful for the life he has always wanted to lead with her. 

though he doesn’t get any kind of happy ending in the ot, at least by my estimation, he does eventually find what he’s looking for in the flash-sideways, and that reunion with juliet is so healing for him. 

anyway, i’m rambling here.

thanks for the question! feel welcome to send another any time. 

[switchinspirals]

Texas Turnaround Part 3 Straight into his Memories

Continuation request for @texanstrong The trip back to Jake's apartment was uneventful and rather boring. As he walked through the parking lot he checked his new phone, it was already past noon, his grindr had beeping pretty much all day, it was starting to get annoying, most of the messages he read were from older guys or no pictures, didn't feel like it was worth the time to reply. Trevor walked in the door to see the same messy apartment he woke up in. Trevor walked into bathroom again, stripped in front of the mirror, this time he was more interested in Jake's face, how to make it smirk, or be seductive better. Jake's facial features had a natural charm to them and Trevor wanted to use it to the best of his ability. After making his new face do all sorts of poses he turned around and entered the shower and began to wash his sculpted body from the hot sex he just had. Trevor stood as the water washed down him and began to think, Sundays were the days that Jake had off, that much was clear, from searching his phone it seemed it was the one day of the week he tried to do as much hook ups as he could. Maybe he could give it a try himself. As he finished up the shower and walked to his room naked, finding a hat he liked and then he laid on the messy dirty bed, this time he had more time to notice that it was just a simple mattress laying on a floor, no bed frame, no spring box just a mattress on a floor with some generic sheets, stained with cum. It was kind of gross but also hot at the same time, Jake and Carlos were messy, and he felt comfortable with it.  Trevor snapped a selfie of himself and proceeded to add it to all of his social media, with the caption, “Horny here message me for sex, you know the drill boys” Trevor game that famous Jake smirk as he saw all the notifications began to fill his phone. He flipped through his text messages, a lot of "Sups" and "Hey how r u"' text but one caught his eye, a guy named Marcel. The message read "Hey, home alone bored, I am willing to pay $5 for a bj, u know u like my str8 cock Jake." That had gotten Trevor's curiosity. He scrolled up on the messages, and noticed that this was a re-occurring thing, between Jake and Marcel. Then he saw it, Marcel's picture. A very handsome muscular latino man, Jake felt his new cock swell up and harden. There was a sudden and brand new sensation Trevor felt, like a memory seeing the stud's picture triggered several images of him, it was the first time Trevor felt any form of Jake memories or feelings. He looked fondly at the pic, he could feel a longing lust for Marcel, memories of wanting to be with him since they were in high school, and even though Marcel was muscular and hot, his body was no where near as good as Jake's yet Trevor could feel a new feeling, he was attracted to the idea of being with such a strong alpha straight man. Trevor paused, he was at times very submissive, but is it possible Jake was even more of a passive individual than himself?

Trevor had to find out and made his way to the address he found on the phone. The drive this time passed more quickly it was becoming second nature, hooking up like this, it was becoming more normal. Trevor thought he might be concerned about that but he needed some straight cock in his mouth now. As he entered the house he found Marcel sitting down on a gaming chair, wearing a black tank top hugging his big body, of softer muscles and a nice blue jean wrapped around his meaty legs. "What's up bro, hows it been for you?' Marcel said in Spanish, but Trevor didn't even notice the lack of English this time instead responding in perfect Spanish "You know, getting shit done, have fun with some guys... just came from a hook up earlier." Marcel laughed, "Was it good?" Trevor gave that goofy grin Jake could do and then turned into a confused smirk "Ya it was till the bitch complained about my foreskin, but still a good fuck." he said with a laugh "He white? they are so damn picky when they are gay" Trevor laughed, he had felt embarrassed, and still now but confiding with his or rather Jake's friend helped him relax a little. Marcel smirked and forcefully grabbed Jake's hand and landed it on his crotch. "Well I got some porn ready so go ahead and start doing your thing." Jake started to unzip his pants and pull it down. Marcel stopped him "No fuckin way, pants stay on keep cock through zip bro, just suck this monster." And Jake silently replied and began to suck deep down the giant monster larger seven maybe more like eight in uncut straight cock. As he did he heard the moans of women from the straight porn he was watching.

There was certainly some confusion from Trevor as he sucked off Marcel. First part of his brain did find Marcel very masculine and attractive he could tell his body had softened more than he liked in guys, sure the biceps, and triceps were there but not nearly as cut as his, and he could tell Marcel's stomach was more rounded than his but it turned him on so much. But then it was like Jake's thoughts and memories took over again and he remembered crushing on Marcel all his life since middle school, and being jealous Marcel could just say fuck it and not work out as often. And that is when the next words slipped out as he let go of the cock in his mouth and said "You can keep the five dollars and get an extra fifty if you take off your shirt bro." Marcel looked down on Jake and thought about it, "Aight but keep touching to a minimum" Trevor looked up as Marcel removed his black tank top to reveal, a nice but still softer than expected body. Trevor moved up Jake's hand and felt the soft stomach where he could barely feel Marcel's abs that used to be so prominent. His softer pecs that still had muscle just not as tight as well. It became a game of touch the straight boy, Trevor would use Jake to feel Marcel's ex-jock body for a few seconds before a very uncomfortable Marcel would push Jake's hand back down to his cock while returning to cat calling the girls on his laptop. This happened for strange but very pleasurable twenty minutes before Marcel was about to cum, and pushed Jake to the other side of the room. Trevor watched as Marcel quickly put on his tank and started to stroke rapidly faster, getting aggressive with the women on the porn video. Trevor felt a memory again, Jake never helped Marcel finish, that would be gay, this was all that Marcel wanted. So Trevor watched as Marcel came and enjoyed the bliss for several seconds.

"Aight well hand me the money and I guess I will keep the five" Trevor complied "See ya later" and with that Trevor walked out of the house. Shit Trevor thought. "I just got money and now I am broke, but whatever I will just head back home" And with that Trevor drove home with a raging boner, normally he would be pissed or too horny to drive back, but Jake was used to that sort of hook up so driving home with a raging boner in traffic was all but normal for this body, and becoming increasingly normal for Trevor.

[ajaegerpilot]

i cant get out of my head this guy online i saw recently talking about how men need body positivity because.. all women, he says, regardless of how insecure they feel can look at their bodies sometimes and find themselves pretty. whereas men have a kind of ‘??’ relationship to their body and like . . . they don’t find themselves pretty, and just kind of . . . hope for the best wrt attracting partners. and like i really straddle this line, I do. like for my face, for my size, like lmao I have no idea what I offer. I hope I’m cute. I hope my face jives for future partners. and then sometimes I see my titties in the soft lighting of my bathroom and i’m like ‘nice titties’ but the rest of the time I’d rather not know that they exist (and i think my body looks kind of unnattractive the rest of the time). and like can we unpack this?

i cant get this out of my head because like one. sweeping statements are always going to be untrue. but like, i’m also just? can you imagine the level of unhealthy disconnect straight women must experience? to look at their bodies and find their bodies attractive (if they do)? it’s not like - sexual arousal or anything, but it certainly doesn’t feel like you should appraise your body. like that’s you, that’s your meat and bone and flesh and fat and hair, typically I don’t think if you understand the body in the mirror as your own, truly internalize it as yours, that you should find it attractive. it ought to be - dull. you’ve had it every day of your life. the common ancestor we all share never would have seen their face, and would have a distorted view of their own beauty (eg that venus of willandorf explanation of her having been a self portrait of a woman looking down).

and i don’t really know. what use body positivity really has. realistically. like for one, i really don’t see how like. okay look listen first of all. body positivity for plus size women, i think we can agree, really relies on hyperfeminity and a whole league of other things. like no one’s going to feel any such body positivity for gnc fat women or women who can’t meet white beauty standards or women with “”unnattractive”” stretch marks or whatever. or even, women without makeup. women without makeup, even if they’re thin, are often parsed as being ugly. lmfao literally ugly and sickly. so as far as i’m concerned body positivity, if its attempting to accomplish anything beyond selling products, it’s dragging its fucking feet to the point where it should just quit pretending that its trying to walk anywhere. like what is the accomplishment of bodypos?

i understand the purpose behind finding pride and love for your body if you’ve been told you should hate it and you deserve mistreatment or don’t deserve love because of it. but that’s as far as utility I can see body positivity having. because the way women have been oppressed throughout recent history and relegated to a few major roles namely mother, wife, or muse (rarely friend or comrade) to the men in their life . . . like it very much is the application of the body. the way women have been celebrated as the pinnacle of beauty is not because women are intrinsically more beautiful (for then we would have to discuss what the fuck even is beauty), but rather that men have been the dominant class in recorded history and thus the applications of women’s bodies have included two major purposes: motherhood and sexual titillation, and if you cannot provide these things you are not even managing to do the bare minimum of what is expected of, what is DEFINITIONALLY, your gender. like its not healthy????

like i understand . . . the politics of desire. most of us want to be loved. many of us want to have sex. the body is, for all genders, what we use to at least broach the topic. but for the life of me i can not understand why any man would want to be desired as women have been desired. what good does that do? isn’t it better to free our bodies from desirability politics and instead nurture the thought that our bodies are what we can do for each other and ourselves rather than objects to be admired? i swear to god str8 women are out here stanning kylo ren and benedict cumberbatch, and yeah theyre both thin but god pretty much any average man is better looking, like truly. yeah we cant snap our fingers and have sex or love fall into our laps, and yes we live in A Society so the quote endquote attractiveness of our bodies and faces will affect how we’re treated and what kind of opportunities in human connection we can have but i swear to god men. if you want to learn how to love your bodies it is NOT thru the mainstream body positive movement. 

if anyone made it this far, u have any thoughts?