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fandom-flight · 1 year ago

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I'm about halfway through Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint,and I'm really impressed with how it practically bleeds with themes of storytelling and our relationship with stories as humans. There's the obvious stuff, like how the main character's whole shtick is being a reader with "bookmark" and "fourth wall" abilities, but as of about chapter like 240, I've never stopped tangibly feeling how much ORV seems to want to explore the concept of stories (and not just in the sense of the novel's world where stories are like a kind of power, though that is kind of part of it). I ended up having a lot of roving thoughts, so more under the cut

Specifically what I mean by this is that almost every aspect of the world building and the plot has some kind of commentary on how people relate to stories. The constellations, for example, are very clearly kind of meant to be audience stand ins, especially in the beginning. They're watching the stories of our main characters on stream much the same way that we the readers are watching the story of ORV on our devices in the real world, and oftentimes their reactions to the events mimic our reactions from the outside– they cringe when characters do embarrassing things, they ship characters with chemistry, they hold their breath when things gets tense, and feel genuinely sad and heartbroken when bad things happen to the characters in their show. It's through their financial support that some of these stories can continue to be told, kind of the same way that fans' monetary contributions to artists enables their art to continue being made. Kim Dokja even calls out how the tables have turned early on in the series, that he used to be the one watching them through a screen, and now the situation is totally reversed. The constellations also kind of mimic the negative effect that the audience can have on art– sometimes artists have to bend to the will of their supporters even when it goes against their desired direction for their own art because that's what pulls in the money, and the way that incarnations and dokkaebi have to listen to the will of their sponsors feels like a very on the nose parallel for this. ORV sets up both the constellations and Kim Dokja as content consumers who have a love of stories in common in order to make a statement about how loving stories is universal, while simultaneously laying groundwork to make statements about the line between reader and narrative. Another thing that Kim Dokja has in common with the constellations is that both he and they are increasingly brought to the boundary of the fourth wall as the series progresses. In the same way Kim Dokja starts to realize that he IS part of the story now, and that the people he previously just saw as characters are actually real human beings that he has emotional attachments to, the constellations also start becoming characters who appear in the story and impact it directly, rather than being detached observers. This process of becoming a part of the story after being emotionally invested in it is naturally not something that literally happens to people in real life, but readers wanting to insert themselves into a narrative they love is something very human. I mean, fanfiction is incredibly popular because a lot of us humans can't just leave media that we love alone, we keep thinking about it, we want to expand on it, change it, and sometimes even insert ourselves into it. Historically, myths have had many different versions circulate over time, with some cultures borrowing figures from others and literary giants creating characters of their own (or even versions of themselves *cough Dante cough*) to insert into these legends.

In addition to the very human desire to become a part of the stories we love, ORV also calls out how humans are are kind of enamored with certain themes, and that we show this by having these themes appear in various legends the world over. Realms of death, myths of resurrection, tales of slaying supernatural evils, all of these things are shown to be so universal that constellations sometimes have copyright disputes over them. The fact that the constellations that appear in ORV are so varied is another place where ORV proves to be a love letter to storytelling. The author has such a diverse collection of gods and historical figures that I can't help but see their love for stories as something so strong that it transcended culture and nationality. Furthermore, the fact that constellations obtain their status from how widespread their stories are feeds into the theme of people being stories, which is another interesting angle to look at the relationship between people and stories. ORV has characters literally say "people are stories" out loud, and Han Sooyoung references the philosophy that people only truly die when they've been forgotten, but there isn't a single second where I really stop feeling like this holds true for everyone in the book (and not just because souls being stories and people needing stories to live ends up being part of the worldbuilding). The idea is that our stories give us value, both intrisinsically and extrinsically. ORV represents this literally, as the notoriety of a story actually makes people stronger, and also stories can be used as currency or food to some people. Even on a scale lower than the constellations, the reputations of characters and the rumors of their incredible deeds can increase their value to outsiders, the same way that a person's reputation in the real world can affect their job prospects and social connections (this is a little more obvious and would happen in any story, but I think that the mythologizing of the ORV characters in their own universe is meant to exemplify the effect of a person's stories on their perceived value).

The theme of people being stories also extends to a related but still separate (I think) theme of everyone being the protagonist of their own story. Kim Dokja begins ORV by talking about how much Yoo Sangah feels like a protagonist. She has all the qualities that a main character should have, and Kim Dokja feels like he could never match that, despite the fact that he clearly wants to be a protagonist really badly. He wants to be cool, special, and confident, but it's not until the scenarios start and he starts being able to use skills in a way unique to him that he starts realizing that maybe he can be a protagonist too. And again, this is a theme that ORV just constantly exudes– Kim Dokja often explicitly talks about how everyone is living their own life and being their own person. When he sees Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyunsung for the first time after the intermediate dokkaebi Paul separates them following the golden thrones destruction, he's impressed by their growth while he wasn't looking, and we the audience are reminded that these people learn and progress as the center of their own world. When Kim Dokja is separated from his friends after the Dark Castle arc and hears what they've been up to, he muses about how, even without him, the world continues to turn, scenarios continue to run, and people continue to live. It very much helps that the author of ORV gives every side character a vibrant and memorable personality so that we can better empathize with them as their own people with their own lives, even though they might not get as much screentime. Characters who we do not think to care much about are shown to have significant development while the main character isn't with them. Kim Namwoon matures into a calmer, happier person in the Underworld long after I forgot he existed. Han Myungoh went from bring an insufferable nepotism baby to being a determined and loving father who is willing to be an ally. The author constantly reminds us that Kim Dokja isn't the only one in this world who is a protagonist with a story worth telling, and in a way, it kind of feels like they're also telling the readers that, not only are we the main characters of our lives, but we also can never forget that the people around us are protagonists of their stories as well.

In short, ORV uses just about every character and storyline to convey that humans may love to consume the stories of others, but we can't forget that we're also writing our own stories by living them. Humans are made up of the stories they love, the ones they write themselves, and the ones they put a part of themselves into, and I just get the sense that the author has a lot of feelings about stories and how important they are to us as a species in every sentence they write. I'm definitely curious to see how the story ends because I can't imagine how the author will conclude the series when making a statement about this theme seems so important, but anything that would be a satisfying conclusion to the story would really be counterproductive to making that statement. As a reader, I want a definitive "and they lived happily ever after after solving the story's problems," but since the author actually has Kim Dokja muse on how "he never felt satisfied by 'and they lived happily ever after'," I kind of can't imagine that that's how this series will end? Because it doesn't sound like the author was ever completely satisfied with those endings either. But I also don't think ORV is meant to be a tragedy, so I'm excited to see where things go!

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv spoilers

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gunsli-01 · 2 years ago

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@dearmahiru So, this is my response to that last thing you wrote up. I want to preface this by saying there aren't any hard feelings on my part. However, I felt this needed to be said.

You questioned,

"My question is, "If it's compelling enough to be the literal conclusion of the novel then why only ask the non-interference question to those who paid money?" Moving on!"

My answer to this question isn’t too different from what I said regarding the novel before. Just because something was compelling enough to be addressed in a book doesn’t mean everyone has to enjoy that thing. Someone else finding it compelling enough to write about it or read doesn’t negate another person not feeling that way. I don’t feel that way about the book. Personally, the premise wasn’t compelling, it was predictable and a drag to read.

For a litany of personal reasons that I discussed during my previous response.

For me it would be rather easy to vote Yuno, Futa, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko innocent if their murders were an indirect result of an action they chose to take. Especially in comparison to the people they're paired with, unlike those people they never bludgeoned, choked, or stabbed anyone. However, the point on non-interference has already been touched on in Milgram and it's not with any of the characters within this theory.

It’s literally a point Muu tries to make in her second voice drama when it comes to the bullying. This is done through her stating she never hit anyone or poured water on their heads. Yet, she let it happen regardless. Es even points out she let other people do it for her. So, this point has already been addressed in the series proper.

Even Mikoto in his written interrogation denounces violence entirely stating he hates it. So, that already says a lot when it comes to the other prisoners and this question. I don't believe there would be a point to separating the prisoners neatly between direct and indirect murders taking into consideration that they can and have covered the angle of non-interference with characters who did directly kill already.

Outside of me personally not liking the idea. Simply put there are just other possible explanations as to why Yuno, Futa, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko could be shown together outside of the possibility of their murders being indirect.

For example, all of their cover songs since the beginning of Milgram have been about one-sided relationships. Yet, no one has highlighted that connection between them or attempted to investigate it further. Their trial two songs even continue this trend.

Furthermore, the novel has a different writer and was intended to be a different self-contained experience overall. This is usually how tie in media works. The creators and staff have made changes to the prison based on collaborations most recently they added a karaoke room to Milgram due to one.

However, no changes have been made to Milgram proper in regard to the novel. This may be because the novel seems to take place before Milgram as we know it now. Something alluded to within the story itself. If the events within the novel take place before Milgram proper sure they would have an impact on the facilities' growth, but it would not be a shot for shot recreation.

If anything, the novel shows us how Milgram has developed as a facility and gives insight into Jackalopes and the Guards roles within it. That’s kind of how tie in media works in general regardless of whether the material is a prequel or not. It doesn't make it any less important, but it doesn't necessarily mean it will heavily impact the other parts of the franchise.

I never had to and still don’t have to defend or explain how I feel or may continue to feel about the novel. Yet, I attempted to. Now was it as tactfully or politely as I could have? No. However, given that my personal tastes were used as a point of contention and then interrogated to the degree that they were I don’t feel it falls on me to apologize for that.

“ "I mean they could it would certainly be boring and stupid but they could."—Boring and stupid as opposed to...? Are you claiming it'd be better writing if there wasn't a pattern to the prisoner's crimes? You'd prefer if it was random? I suppose calling the idea stupid is meant to be karma for calling Mahiru poisoning someone ableist so I'd like to apologize for that again.”

I could very well do what you did with your response and just say moving on! Yet, I feel that would be a bit dismissive. Despite my personal media taste not having anything to do with the theory that Yuno, Futa, Mahiru, Kazui, and Kotoko’s murders were indirect. Nor do I understand how it got wrapped up into this. I don’t like the novel, it’s bad. Anyone else can think it’s good that doesn’t change the fact I think it’s bad.

Outside of that, yes for me personally it would be better if it turned out that there wasn’t a pattern like that between the crimes of the prisoners. Even though the prisoners within Milgram are just characters in a narrative it has been stated that they are being written with the intent of them coming off as real people, someone that a person could come across on the street, not caricatures. In real life not all people fit into certain patterns and neither do all crimes.

I believe it would be an unfair comparison to even pair them up in the way they did at that point. It’d be as simple as well I saw Haruka and Muu kill someone but Yuno and Futa never meant to intentionally harm anyone. Plus, they never even directly hurt anyone. They were just being themselves and living their normal lives. It’s not difficult for me to not punish someone to the extent that Milgram does over what would basically amount to an accident.

I’m not going to cut off someone’s leg because they screw up a dance routine. In the same vein I’m not going to force someone to undergo what we’ve been expressly told is mental torture and restraint because someone else decided to end their life cause they couldn’t deal with living in a world where they existed instead of I don’t know dumping their girlfriend, blocking Futa online, getting a divorce, or in Yuno’s case I’m not voting someone Guilty because they failed to use contraceptive properly and didn’t want to be a mom at eighteen so they got an abortion.

It's not as you put it,

“Okay, so you agree that "Would you punish someone even if their murder was indirect?" is a morally complex question. Glad we're on the same page here.”

I never agreed and the assertion that I did is a lot like putting words in someone else’s mouth, isn’t it? Something you accuse me of doing to you despite the language I used in my initial response being specifically chosen to avoid that. In fact, I’ve been saying this whole time that to me it is not entertaining or interesting or a complex question to ask because of the circumstances being discussed.

There are so many solutions or actions people outside of the prisoners themselves could have taken to remove themselves from the situations they were in. Now, before someone tries to say that’s victim blaming, I’m not saying they’re at fault for what the prisoners did to them regardless of if they caused harm to them directly or not. I’m saying if this is truly all they did anyone on earth could have made the same mistake as Futa and people continue to make that same mistake on the daily basis.

No, one knows what goes on behind the computer screens of others. For example, I openly stated in my reply to you that I was,

Feeling frustrated and spoken down to. “However, right now I don't know if you're making fun of me or not.”/ “I don't know if I'll be able to give this the attention it deserves since I am a bit ruffled.”

Not having the best week. “Sorry, sorry it's been a rough week ignore that. Gotta appreciates wins when you see them.”

Now, if I took your accusations of putting words in your mouth, misinterpretation of my statements, criticisms of my personal tastes any of that to heart and decided to harm myself. Would that suddenly be your fault? It's my belief that if I decided to do that without attempting to communicate the issue it wouldn't just be because of this instance but an accumulation of things within my life. That doesn't change that this one thing or interaction could have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Still, if I decided to do that, if it got to that point that would be my decision and I wouldn't want anyone feeling responsible for that. Regardless of how they treated me in life. Because at the end of the day they didn't end my life I did. They can feel guilty about how they could've been nicer, been there more, said something a different way but like outside of that it's not their fault. So, no to me that's not a compelling or complex question, the only thing that would make it compelling or complex is if for some reason they knew full well their actions could have led to that outcome.

Like in the case of displaying suicide within media which many a psychiatrist has said impacts suicide rates. It's compelling to think if creators have a responsibility not to display or discuss those things in media given that knowledge. It's not compelling to me for people to seemingly put forth that accusing someone of doing something wrong online even with proof is a slippery slope because you never know how someone may take that sort of thing and media spaces social or otherwise tend to get carried away when it comes to punishing people outside of the law.

Something Milgram already pointed out during Yuno's first interrogation because she pretty much says that in reference to how the media treats adultery cases.

Blaming Futa for the hat girl's death just because he uses the internet is asinine. To be quite frank you very well could have made the same mistake he made three times over at this point.

People make mistakes even more now that the internet is a thing. People can get reckless with their words and sometimes mistakenly misinterpret others. That’s not them being complicit in causing indirect harm that’s making a mistake. Conflating that sort of thing to willfully killing a person doesn’t come off as complex to me, it comes off as demeaning to human life and suicide in general.

It sucks that the hat girl was harassed. It sucks that there is a precedent for that sort of harassment in online spaces. However, I severely doubt there’s one person in the Milgram fandom who hasn’t involved themselves with or interacted with a callout post. Especially given how many of the English-speaking fans over on Twitter and here call out fan artists daily.

Oh, or even those currently leaving comments to staff on videos telling them the way they translated a work they are releasing mostly for free is wrong. Something they didn’t have to go through the trouble of translating into English at all. If what Futa did under your theories framing of the events is murder and harassment. Then the only difference between most people who use the Internet and Futa is they haven't run into someone at a low enough point in their lives to do that in response to their callous behavior yet.

The indirect murder theory doesn’t appeal to me. It doesn’t make Milgram a more enjoyable series for me if I accept it as more than a possibility. It’s a possibility but it’s one I don’t like. So, I hope it’s not that. That isn’t a big deal in the slightest.

However, as I stated in my previous reply. It’s been a rough few weeks this one being the roughest so far. I’m irritated at feeling spoken down to and then when articulating my points being told I’m not doing so in the appropriate way i.e you yelled at me, you put words in my mouth, well you could’ve said that more nicely. Admittedly, I looked over my words before responding several times to not only put it as delicately as possible but take into consideration all of your points. It took all day to do and I did it even though I felt a certain way about it.

I went forward with the benefit of the doubt and admittedly a side of pettiness at some parts. Something I apologized for through dms. Before even reading all of what you said because I recognized I may have hurt your feelings. Yet, my feelings seem to be getting overlooked. It is not nice for me to be accused of doing things I didn’t do while seemingly having them done to me. It’s not fun to have my personal tastes used as a talking point to the benefit of someone else’s theory.

Then like I said before it wouldn’t even be fun for me if Milgram was that simple. That would be boring to me and I wouldn’t consider it to be redefining sin. It would be a surprising letdown coming from the writer behind Caligula Effect. A game gives the player the option to just kill everyone in it and cause societies collapse. Yet, the worse thing some of these prisoners did is use the internet, want control over their own bodies, get people who committed crimes incarcerated for said crimes through the legal system, cheat on their wife, and be a smothering presence for their romantic partner. Bet.

If that is the case, I have every right to find that boring and all five of them would be the least interesting prisoners to me.

“ "If you want to claim Fuuta indirectly killed the victim after they were already dead, then I'd like to know how that was."—It's really simple actually! I did not say that and I'm really confused where this came from.”

Now, I don’t know if the definition of the word “if” has been lost to time but for clarity’s sake.

I even highlighted my intended meaning when using the word for further clarity.

So, by the definition of the word “if” highlighted there one can infer that my statement was quite literally… If that is what you were trying to imply/say, then it would not make sense in the context of your theory. Then I went on to explain why I thought that.

My apologies in advance for interacting with this next statement through a lens of distrust.

“However, I'm once again confused by this section because it kinda feels like you're putting words in my mouth? Like, even if I called it ableist, at no point did I say it was untrue. I said there was a dissonance.”

During your response to my previous points despite the language you highlight me using.... It seems at every turn you're accussing me of putting words in your mouth or directly disagreeing with statements I did agree with over the course of everything I wrote.

At this point its semantics. You used inflammatory language in what could appear to be a deliberate attempt to shoot down my point even if you never said it was untrue.

“Also forgive me but there's a bit of a dissonance here for me that Mahiru wouldn't intentionally stress out her boyfriend but could exploit his allergies and even go as far as to keep the food in his throat. If she has such genuine hatred in her heart for her boyfriend to commit such a vile, blatantly ableist method of murder then I don't see why she wouldn't make him feel worse for kicks and giggles.”

I know you apologized for referring to it as ableist and I apreciate and accept the apology. This more so leans into a point I'm going to make later. I am not attempting to rub it in.

In comparison all the accusations hurled in my direction in your response, the number of things it purposely skips, and what it chose to highlight has left me feeling belittled, ridiculed, and as though most if not all of my sentiments were blatantly ignored or warped to their most negative extreme.

For reference and admission, I did take several petty jabs at this behavior. Those were bringing up Ageism and Nazi's. I'm a tit for tat type of person if you're going to use inflamatory lannguage it's best to be prepared for the other person to do the same to you. However, unlike with the ableism statement there was a basis to both of those statement.

I’ll go into your response to being met with the same behavior later.

“Okay, I'd like to preface this that I very much said it was my own opinion that Fuuta didn't doxx Magic. If you disagree with it then that's cool and fine and whatever. I'm not invested in arguing this point much.”

I'm going to be petty for a moment here, but I guess it’s really nice for people to be entitled to their own opinions and personal tastes… I wonder what’s that like. I’m trying my best not to be petty but at this point I feel as though I’m being treated like I’m less than a person and every sentence of this response I read is like rubbing salt in the wound.

Especially given how I used "if" in the statements previously highlighted by you and I was accused of putting words into people's mouths. At this point I’m starting to believe that the word doesn’t work how I believe it does. So, by using the same logic and scrutiny my words were treated with previously I’d be led to believe that here you could possibly be saying that I am in fact most definitely disagreeing with the Futa didn’t dox the hat girl theory.

When on the contrary I’m not disagreeing with a theory that my literal closest IRL friend came up with and has been pushing since I got her into Milgram far before Backdraft even came out. She been framing this guy fromd ay one she said and I quote, "They never give faces to people in anime unless they're important! Why this pink hair bastard got a face what did he do?!"

I was all like oh so having a face is crime now you gonna frame him for having a face when Futa's victim doesn't even have one... Now we know because of Rei that's just a true statement. Yeah, yeah egg on my face I said she was reaching because she liked him and look who got proven wrong and lives with it. That's how it goes.

The thing that I was and am still disagreeing with is the idea that it supports the indirect framing brought up within the theory presented. Because I do not see how it does which I said in my previous reply quite plainly. It’s even something you highlight at the beginning of your reply.

“However, the "Futa wasn't the one who did the doxing" theory used in this way directly serves to undermine the assertion that you put forth that murders can be indirect. I know Futa in general kind of puts a wrench in that normally because he's a bit of a difficult character. Everyone else in the group certainly has some give for there to be some room to doubt they directly killed someone. Yet, with him it's a bit difficult to believe that's the case given the very personal nature of the circumstances presented and the way they mirror Mu's.”

Yet, for some reason my words were misinterpreted here. To make it as simple as possible. I do believe Futa didn’t do the doxing and I did not set out to disprove that better yet. There’s something that’s never highlighted in your reply to what I said that proves I wouldn’t do that.

“So, let's run this back. You're saying there's a funeral lantern outside I can't dispute that and to be honest I really don't want to. Simply put this means Futa just never did anything wrong in his life and he shouldn't be here. Something I'm happy to hear. I definitely have a friend who would love to hear it as well.

Futa Innocent streak two in row. Never did a thing wrong but have fire songs. Okay maybe he took a picture of funeral lantern but the girl was already dead so why you going after him. Doxing been there done that can't dox someone when you didn't have their fucking address. Until after the fact complicit apart of the mob but you guys just keep singing along. Chirp, chirp, tweet, tweet click and send then the Innocent party can once again begin.”

Simply put, I mind the business that pays. It doesn’t pay me to disprove a theory I literally helped write after telling my friend for months she was just a notorious simp for redhead which she is and looking for an easy target to blame instead. I've been down this road I'm not doing it again that's the end of it. Egg on my face gonna wash it off and move forward. I don't want anymore I told you so's I get he didn't dox her I'm not doing this again you have me fucked up.

Because if she sees this she's gonna be like is this you, how many times do I have to teach you this lesson. Then I'm gonna be out here like it was misinterpretation of my wording I don't need this lesson again I'm minding my business I swear. You've proven it enough please just not again I already felt stupid once she thinks what's one more lap but it's like I'm already down can you not. I don't need this her chances of seeing this are slim but they exist and that's too much already.

Now, in my personal time I do reexamine my own beliefs and go over old hypothesis that I’ve had regarding the series. However, there’s enough information regarding Futa’s case to make the chances of him being responsible for the doxing not just questionable but completely unlikely. Something you and I both point out over the course of our replies.

I have no reason personally (oh god do I really have no reason personally) or intellectually to argue against that point. Behaving as if I did even hypothetically is just disingenuous because I made it incredibly clear that was not my intent. Given all of that this would just be you putting words in my mouth while accusing me of doing the same to you.

I took this a step further I messaged my friend asking her what she would do to me if i was going around online saying Futa did the doxxing still. Haven't gotten an answer yet because her phone is off. I did try calling first. I will be adding it once i do get the answer though.

You then continue to explain something to me that I already know.

"The way the first bolded point is framed, from my perspective, makes it looks as though Fuuta was working with total strangers when it came to Magic. This isn't the case. Fuuta had an entire friend group that he sent to harass magic."

However, you say Futa had an entire friend group and compare him and Mu's situations.

" "Fuuta is the bully and Mu is the bullied" is easily the most obvious parallel in Milgram. Yes, there's more nuance to it than that but Fuuta isn't some random guy passing through."

Let's take this logic a step further then, we've come to discover Mu was the leader of her group. If their situations are meant to contrast each other's then that's reason enough to interrogate the idea that Futa was working beneath someone.

Along with what I pointed out in my previous reply. Futa being quick to state that Kotoko is just being used by Es in his second voice drama. Them stating his father is a civil servant, his sister a beautician. Two service-oriented occupations. Here's some fun food for thought what if Futa's sister was Mahiru's beautician. Also, Futa being dressed as a knight and being the first to charge or storm in (ha ha get it Storm Pazuzu like storm a castle or siege it) at the end of Bring It On while Mu was the very last person to get her hands dirty in the situation she was in.

Also, knights tend to work beneath monarchy or for the people they aren't free agents and there's usually someone above them giving down orders.

Taking it a step further Pazuzu in Mesopotamian religion is the king of Wind Demons believed to have helped humans ward off other demons.

"Written sources which appear starting around 670 BCE describe Pazuzu climbing a great mountain and undergoing mythological combat against wind demons, a battle from which he emerged victorious and proved himself a threat to other dangerous demons. He is portrayed as a potential ally to humans who call on him for protection or display his icon, believing incantations and appeasement could instrumentalize his malevolent power against other demons."

Even the demon in his moniker is a literal servant to people. Jewelry having their likeness on it to ward off other demons.

Furthermore, the earliest archaeological evidence of Pazuzu was found in the grave of royalty. Even the lyrics of Backdraft pay homage to Pazuzu.

"Burn, burn! Open this door and check if you want to I’ll deign to hear your last words if you want, a vanishing FIRE."

"Pazuzu's iconography has puzzled archaeologists because of it's sudden and fully realized appearance in the archaeological record, displaying no apparent evolutionary stages. The lack of any earlier identifiable representation renders it impossible to pinpoint the exact geographical origins of the imagery, though it most likely developed in either Egypt or Mesopotamia."

"Bless me, please, with one more chance."

"He is portrayed as a potential ally to humans who call on him for protection or display his icon, believing incantations and appeasement could instrumentalize his malevolent power against other demons."

"Just like O2, burn yourselves into oblivion."/ "It’s so hot, so hard to breath, there’s no solace for my heart."

This one is sort of self-explanatory for someone associated with fire, the demon is specifically associated with wind. O2 is literally just two oxygen molecules. This also goes into the point of the next line.

"Flames closing in, are both sides losers? Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE."

"Pazuzu's head is sometimes depicted alone, it is often paired with the faces of other Mesopotamian Demons or Gods. Some Pazuzu amulets have images inscribed on their backs of deities who were considered permanent allies to humans, such as Ugallu and Lulal. Archaeologists conjecture that these pairings were meant to ensure Pazuzu's power remained directed away from human targets and protect the wearer from danger."

One could even make the argument that some of the physical traits Futa were inspired by Pazuzu as well. Though that sort of argument may only work for his teeth. What I'm getting at is at this point there's a reason they'd have Futa present as a knight and then Mu refer to herself as a Queen during her second trial and even call her second voice drama Queen Bee to am the point home.

Yet, it's this continued seemingly talk down attempt at educating me on matters I already know about that's giving me the impression you're either looking down on, making fun of me, or ignoring my points entirely in favor of only looking for statement you can contradict. These are all things I have discussed before and am rather familiar with which is why I added the references I did. Because again I extended the benefit of the doubt assuming that you may not have seen those posts.

"And it's not like I'm treading new ground here. "Fuuta is the bully and Mu is the bullied" is easily the most obvious parallel in Milgram. Yes, there's more nuance to it than that but Fuuta isn't some random guy passing through. To reiterate: I believe Fuuta harassed Magic but he didn't specifically doxx her. That was it."

This is another phrase that from my perspective only serves to further rub salt in the wound. It's definitely not treading new ground for me. To me this is the equivalent of walking down a remarkably familiar road as someone who just discovered it attempts to tell me the best places to eat at as I keep going,

"Excu-excuse me? Um, yeah that place is nice but- um you're being very kind explaining this to me but- no don't keep going. Fuck... Look, I live here okay! Right over there actually I don't need this tour it's polite but stop! I just wanna go to the corner store. You can come too but like can we have a conversation instead of you trying to educate me."

"Whuh—huh?? I wasn't intentionally skipping over this I've never heard the theory that Fuuta killed his previous friends before. Like, yes I've heard the theory that he was framed for doxxing but I thought it was too outlandish to bring up. I must've accidentally skimmed something you mentioned because I don't know where this came."

I linked it at the top for the purpose of avoiding this exact situation. I wrote it last year in October. Yet, it's very long... So, I understand why it would possibly be ignored. However, I even quoted it in my previous response and linked again.

"Oh, my god if someone knew that this person was your friend. Yet, encouraged you to do this anyway- Oh, fuck... "You already knew, the whole time. You can't escape how do you like the taste of punishment." Him angrily holding Es in undercover yelling at them. His heavy focus on making sure to take care of the folks younger than him in Milgram now. Despite what he says in the new voice trailer. It all makes so much more sense..."

I don't really have the right to complain about someone not doing the reading especially for something that is a hobby and done for personal entertainment. Regardless it doesn't stop it from coming off as a bit hurtful that I did everything in my power to avoid a misunderstanding and one seemingly occurred because all those efforts either went ignored or overlooked.

At a point you stated shock/alarm at the fact I would bring up Nazi’s regarding our conversation. Wondering how they played into anything. However, the conversation in my eyes seemed to directly mirror the point the original Milgram experiment set out to make. Something that I had apparently wrongfully assumed was common knowledge,

If Wikipedia isn't a good source there are others. X

This one is literally from an educational website. It has study questions and everything.

Here are some more some of them even arguing against Milgram's assertion that the study in anyway absolved what nazi's did some saying it did. X, X, X

Milgram gets its namesake from this psychological experiment while drawing inspiration from the Stanford Prison Experiment as well. It's a fact that one of these experiments has notable ties to the Holocaust. In that way this topic is directly connected to the point you presented. Since as you stated,

" "Would you punish someone even if their murder was indirect?" is a morally complex question."

That is quite literally what the Milgram experiment set out to prove albeit with Nazi's. It set out to show that people could not be blamed for their individual actions when being led or ordered by individuals they perceived as having authority. Because people were more likely to listen to authority figures or people they thought knew better than them even if what the authority figue was telling them to do was morally wrong.

This ties back to the idea that Futa was working beneath someone and felt more comfortable acting out in the way he did with the support of those around him. Who he may have believed were more knowledgeable and informed than himself. All that to say, it's not out of left field and it does have something to do with the discussion. Even if people don't enjoy the kneejerk reaction using terminology such as Nazi can elicit it was completely within the realm the conversation had been brought to even if it was done out of pettiness.

Directly and honestly engaging in the point you presented would logically lead to someone informed about these facts revisiting them. Again, though me bringing up Nazi’s specifically was a tit for tat jab at you using inflammatory terminology in what I felt to be an attempt to belittle my own theory of Mahiru poisoning someone. This was also the case with the ageism comment.

Anyone can use inflammatory language to undermine someone else’s speculations or beliefs. If one does it to someone else, they should rightfully expect it to happen to them in return. No, one likes to be accused of being something or affiliated with something they are not.

I'll say it one more time here me disliking the book and finding it boring and that ableism statement have extraordinarily little to do with each other. That’s just my personal taste and should never have been scrutinized. I’ve grown up on psychological thrillers and murder mystery media. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that the story being the novel told would be predictable or boring to someone familiar with the genre.

I almost forgot to cover it but the reason I was saying that picking these five prisoners and saying that what they did might not be as bad as what the others did or was more indirect or unintentional wasn't me trying to say you were showing favoritism. Simply because if it were about favorites, I doubt Kotoko someone who jumped Mahiru would be a character high on any of the people that like Mahiru's list of characters to defend. Though that's just speculation on my part.

I said that because honestly I've seen how that whole this character proably isn't that bad thing plays out. First trial with Mikoto people just thought he was a little funny office worker MeMe came out and he was killing multiple people with a baseball bat something Undercover showed him doing and shouldn't have surprised anyone. This trial Haruka who in his first mv showed he killed animals was met with shock when it was like oh it's not that he doesn't understand he's a little fucked up actually. Like excuse me the first mv showed this. Then the whole Muu isn't a bully she's a victim who had to kill to stop the harassment oops our bad fuck her actually I feel lied to for falling for it.

Now she has the biggest Guilty verdict of any trial. Just because no one wanted to believe or even engage with the idea she could have been a bully. Taking into consideration all of that I don't necessarily see how claiming Mahiru or anyone's murder was indirect would help secure them an Innocent verdict when the mv could come out and depending on what's said in the interrogation we could hear or see her doing exactly what she was portrayed in Undercover doing. Like three other prisoners have been shown doing already then what she's guilty because oh it turned out she did do it with her own hands.

I've decided it's much better to interrogate the logical extremes than let people expect less than what we may get and react poorly once it comes out and vote a prisoner as guilty as Muu got voted day one. There's no coming back from that once it happens. So, expecting the unexpected is much better than being caught off guard.

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ot3 · 2 years ago

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hi i just finished disco elysium after repeatedly being exposed to it by you and i am incredibly grateful i did <3 you have some of the most compelling and thoughtful takes on media & characters/character dynamics i’ve ever seen so i’m super interested to hear any of your thoughts on harry and kim—they & their relationship is probably my fave part of the game. both are characters with a lot of depth and complexity that i think tends to be flattened by fans, but i feel sometimes i project qualities and depth that isn’t there (especially in regards to kim since we get pretty few peeks into his interior life—idk i think there’s a lot of conflict and contradiction within him, such as his need to remain in control vs an impulsive/violent/cruel streak, his clinging to status quo/authority vs rebelliousness, etc., but again i feel sometimes im reading too deep into things). idk curious to hear your perspective!

first of all i appreciate your confidence in me! very flattered to be called compelling and thoughtful... i do my best. i kind of went on a tangent here about how i apprach character analysis in general instead of talking specifically about kim and harry here... sorry...... sticking it under the cut because its long. and incredibly unfocused. once again sorry.

i definitely don't think you're overthinking it. i don't really think it IS possible to overthink something like disco elysium, which is both incredibly vast as a text [i believe the total wordcount for the game's script is well over a million words, although obviously you don't see anywhere near that full amount in a single playthrough] but also incredibly dense as a text. it's oversteeped in its own ideas and worldbuilding, to a wonderful effect. it doesn't spoonfeed you it's ideas or narrative, and you have to put in real effort to engage with it. and despite how desolate the game is i've seen few fictional worlds that manage to feel so alive just by virtue of the implicit depth and texture of their setting. the same can be said of the characters.

everything you're shown in disco elysium, you're shown with a lot of intent. we understand that kim is a rather reserved character who highly values his self control, which in many ways makes the things we do see of him exponentially more meaningful and impactful. The fact that these things you've listed are things prevalent enough with him that they do manage to bubble to the surface despite how he tries to lock himself down means they're things worth looking at.

also, in general i don't think there's such a thing as 'overthinking' a work of fiction at all. the idea of 'overthinking' implies that analyzing fiction is a sort of binary where you have either come to the correct conclusions about the work or you haven't. but of course that spits in the face of what analysis is all about. i think a better question than 'am i overthinking it' is 'what relationship does this interpretation have to canon?' i don't think it's possible to do media analysis 'right' but i do think it's very easy to do it wrong, and to me that comes down to whether or not your ideas about a work are arbitrary, or in conversation with the text.

i almost think about character analysis kind of like cuil theory, where each level of abstraction is one step further away from the explicit text of a canon. basically everything i think about a character could fit into this sliding scale

1 cuil - explicitly canonical things about this character. as concretely 'true' as anything is in fiction

2 cuils - things about a character that are implied or alluded to, to the degree where these facts are 'canon', but not explicitly stated. subtext.

3 cuils - 'negative space' character traits, things that are neither directly referenced nor alluded to, but make concrete, logical sense within the surrounding context. stuff that toes the line between subtext and personal interpretation.

4 cuils - hypotheticals. stuff that doesn't necessarily have any specific basis in the text, but isn't disproven by the text in any way. stuff almost entirely brought in to the text by an outside source.

5 cuils - hostile readings, where an interpretation of a character either contradicts or intentionally rejects something that can be said to be explicit canon, for whatever reason.

i think the 3 cuil stuff is by far where the most interesting character discussion happens, because this really all hinges on one thing: how much do you trust the person writing this character? do you believe have a complex vision for the character? how much do you trust them to write subtext? the idea of 'overthinking' something can come with the implication that there's nothing there to think about. but if that deep subtext is genuinely there, you're not overthinking it. you're just thinking. I think 'bad' character analysis comes into play when people attribute authorial intent to stuff that is really reliant on stuff they are bringing to the narrative that the author had nothing to do with. Stuff you bring to a text yourself isn't necessarily bad analysis or poisoning the well by any means, but being aware about what parts of your reading are impositions you are making on the text is critical.

That said, every character exists far more fully formed in an author's mind than it exists in a text, just due to the nature of writing. little breadcrumbs hinting towards this more robust picture of a character get left in the text. how many of them are intentional, and how many of them aren't? does it make a difference if it was intentional, if you can still convincingly follow those breadcrumbs back?

in the case of disco elysium, i absolutely do believe it is intentional. i fully believe that the people writing this game could, if they felt so inclined, give us as complete a picture of kim kitsuragi as there's been for any other character in fiction that we might use as the metric for character depth. but the important thing about kim is that he's not the protagonist - his character journey isn't the point here. more importantly, he's harry's foil. Harry as a character is a gaping wound. Everything is spilling out of him unwillingly, and it's ugly, and it's horrible, and then here's kim who is all buttoned up and put together and everything that you as harry are not.

so now here's the trick. you as the player and you as harry want to know kim. almost instantly. i dont know anyone who hasnt been obsessed with this guy from the getgo. we're supposed to want to pick at his seams until we find the bits that are more human there. getting to the ending where kim will join you at your precinct requires these two characters to meet in the middle to some degree. Harry finds structure and function from kim's behavior, and kim begins to exhibit more humanity both in terms of showing more emotion and showing genuine personality flaws, both of which are things harry has in spades. wanting to dig that stuff out of kim is the point of kim's entire character. on a mechanical level as a game that looks like trying to up his approval of you through conversations and investigation. on an emotional level of connecting with a narrative, it looks like what you're doing; reading into his mannerisms and behavior and trying to puzzle it out.

#disco elysium

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licncourt · 3 years ago

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One thing that's interesting to me about the VC fandom is how people approach the canon take on vampiric sexuality (i.e. that it doesn't really exist). A lot of people retcon the canon approach or find some other way of incorporating actual sex. Do you think an explicit depiction of sexuality adds to the canon or detracts from it? Should we let them bone down or not??

I have quite a bit to say about this because I've thought about it a lot when it comes to my own writing, so thank you for asking!

A brief preface: I debated for a long time whether or not I wanted to include explicit sex scenes in my VC fic. I was very hesitant because, like I've mentioned, I'm a lesbian, so all of this is theoretical for me. I can't really gauge whether what I'm writing would be appealing to someone attracted to men, so I was extremely worried that it would be awkwardly written or deeply unsexy.

But I ended up including it and I did hella research in an effort to do it well (and hopefully I succeeded), so to answer your question, yes. The vampires should bone, and here are the reasons I personally choose to have them do so despite the laborious process and defiance of canon:

Firstly, it's a bit of a middle finger to AR's "genderless" vampires. Her books fall very much into the tropes of desexualizing m/m relationships to make them more palatable to a straight audience, and yet the one real exception to this is the the CP in TVA that also serves to reinforce the stereotype of gay men as predatory. Gay relationships are as complex and three dimensional as their straight counterparts, and I want that reflected in my writing.

Just as important though (at least to me) is the opportunity for character building. There are so many ways to frame sex, so many different tones it can take. What a fantastic avenue for exploring character interactions! It's an extremely intimate and emotionally charged scenario that allows the writer to pause the narrative and explore the nature of the relationship they're writing about. A sex scene is a summative snapshot that's been stretched out over potentially thousands of words for close reading.

I approach writing a sex scene the same way I would an important conversation between the characters. It's really its own form of exchange and focused connection, and there's something very interesting about exploring emotions through physicality rather than words. How can I express what each character is thinking and feeling without much or any dialogue, only the way they interact physically? Touch and body language are such powerful tools, especially in writing where you're almost entirely dependent on what's said or thought to understand characters. Switching that focus to physicality can be very impactful with that juxtaposition.

For Loustat in particular, I think this works very well. Sex scenes are a great way to track how a relationship changes over time and that enemies to lovers arc is so integral to their story. For Lestat, sex showcases his intimacy struggles in a very concise and clear manner. In turn, how Louis approaches sex directly reflects his self acceptance journey.

I also find it to be quite cathartic for both characters when it comes to their personal trauma. Lestat has experienced two attacks that are essentially rapes, extreme violations of his body. Catholic religious trauma has deeply damaged Louis' perception of his own desire/pleasure. Depicting these characters in a healthy sexual relationship goes a long way towards healing these wounds. Lestat reclaims his sexual agency and repairs his relationship with his body. Louis is allowed to finish healing his self image and begin loving the parts of himself he was taught to hate.

(I find this especially important for Louis because while Lestat seems to have fully embraced his attraction to men as a human, Louis very much did not. The idea of his sexuality being essentially erased or "fixed" by vampirism and left forever as unfinished emotional business doesn't sit right with me. I want him to have a chance to deal with those feelings and accept that part of himself.)

I hope that answered your question! I know it was a pretty subjective answer, but that's my thoughts.

#answered #vc #meta

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ashotofeuphoria · 3 years ago

Text

As I Hold You

Pairing: Firefighter! Jongho x Injured! Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: character death (not member or reader), ANGST, car accident, blood, injury, fire, v brief description of a dead body, trauma, potential miscarriage (hinted at), let me know if i missed anything!

Authors Note: First fic! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!

You don't remember the impact. The sound of metal crushing, of horns blaring, and tires screeching. Everything just went black.

You had been out running errands all day with your younger brother, Gabriel. You needed to pick up some more supplies for your baby who was soon to arrive. Your first baby shower was scheduled for this upcoming weekend. While you knew that your family and friends would support you and buy you most everything you needed for your baby; you still wanted to buy cute outfits and toys in the anticipation of their arrival.

Your final stop was a new boutique that opened across town, and your younger brother was eager to chauffeur you. He knew that you were a little scared of what the future held and wanted to ease any stress he could, by doing little acts of service for you.

You were living with your family and would remain there throughout your first year of motherhood. You hadn't meant to become pregnant. In fact, you were rather scared of the idea of children and pregnancy. But accidents happen, as they tend to, and your (ex)boyfriend ended up knocking you up.

It was an amicable split when you broke up. You both knew it wouldn't last, and children don't fix broken relationships. He did agree to support you the best he can and you're thankful for that much. It's overwhelming honestly, having the amount of support from everyone that you do. One thing is for sure, this baby will be so loved.

Your brother walked you out to the car, all the bags in his hands, opened the door for you and helped you in. You were only about 4 months along, so you just barely had a visible bump on your small figure. But he held your hand and helped you step into the car regardless. He shut the door and ran around to the driver's side before opening the door and hopping in.

"Thank you for driving me today, buddy. I know you have other things you could be doing," you said as he started the car.

"You know I'd rather spend time with you than do anything else. All I do is read and listen to music in my room, it's not like I do all that much," he chuckled, finding it amusing how appreciative you are of a simple car ride.

"Yeah, alright," you smiled towards him, "Still I know you aren't required to help me out, so thank you. Love you, bubs."

"Love you too, y/n," he said as he glanced towards you with a soft smile.

The car pulled out of the parking lot with the GPS routed 20 minutes down the highway to the boutique. Gabriel took a left out of the neighborhood, and you asked him for the aux.

"Sure," he replied, keeping his eyes on the road but reaching for the cord to hand to you.

You began playing your K-pop playlist, something that's been getting you through the days recently. When you hit shuffle, Love Die Young by Eric Nam started playing. You started to harmonize with the chorus as Gabe pulled the car onto the highway.

"Not this sappy shit, y/n, really?" he giggled as he watched you dramatically act out the song, clutching at your heart as you sing, staring at him with a smile plastered on your face.

"His voice is so smooth I can't help it Gabe," you exclaimed in a sing-songy tone. "So, what do you think I'm gonna have? A boy or girl?" you ask him as the car hits the speed limit and he puts on cruise control.

"Honestly, I think it'll be a little girl. I hope it is at least. We gotta buy so many cute outfits today. I can't wait to help you take care of them. Whatever they may be," he laughed glancing over at you.

"I have this whole idea for their room, I want to do a taupe and mossy green color for the walls. And I think I want a lot of cute pictures of plants and different animals. Ya know, to keep it pretty but neutral, something that can age well with them," you explained to him as he steadily controls the car.

"I think it'll look perfect," he responded. "10 more minutes and we'll be there."

You nodded your head and looked out the window at the greenery. Ideas of outfits and nurseries swimming in your head. You closed your eyes, propped your arm up on the window, and leaned your head against your hand as the car drifted down the highway.

Your eyes jolted open when you suddenly hear Gabe go from a whisper to a shout "fuck, fuCK, FUCK Y/N HANG ON!"

A car had swerved and jumped the median and was driving directly towards you, mere meters away. Showing no signs of stopping, and Gabriel having no real way to swerve to avoid them, he threw an arm in front of you, and you brought your hands up to cover your face, your knees coming up on instinct to protect your belly.

And everything went black.

----

When you came to, the first thing you noticed was the smell. Metallic, and smoky, like something was burning. Then you felt a searing pain in your head. You struggled to open your eyes but when you did you couldn't believe what you were surrounded by. The airbags had deployed, but there was blood splattered across the car. You could tell smoke was rising out of the engine, but you couldn't see much else through the cracked windshield.

You look to your left and see Gabriel covered in blood, eyes closed. And you immediately feared the worst.

"Gabe! GABE!" you reached over to shake him, to hold onto his cheek and try and get him to face you. To open his eyes. To do anything. Your ears are ringing, and you can feel your eyes stinging when he won't respond. Your hands are desperately grabbing at his shirt, and hair, willing for him to wake up, for him to be okay.

"Gabe," your voice barely bubbling out of your throat as sobs begin to overtake your body. "Gabe, please, please, wake up. please, you can't, no, please, Gabe, bubs, you're okay, we're okay, please," the sobs wrack your body as you gasp for air between each word. Tears are streaming down your face and suddenly your focus is on your hands, and you see they're covered in blood.

You hold your hands in front of you and stare at them in horror when your vision redirects to your legs. You're crushed in the car. Your legs trapped under the dashboard. Your hearing is slowly coming back as you hear sirens somewhere in the distance, but from what direction you were unaware.

You remember a car had hit you head on when it crossed into your lane going well over the speed limit. As you glance out of the passenger window to see what happened to the other car (and if you're even still on the highway) you're met with a ghastly picture of your face in the side view mirror. Your forehead has been deeply cut, and blood is dripping thickly down your forehead and has mixed with the tears falling down your cheeks.

You cough when you begin to inhale smoke. Your vision blurring, your head falls back onto your headrest as you pass out.

----

As you come to, a faint knocking sound begins to grow louder, until you can hear a man yelling "Ma'am! Ma'am! Can you hear me! You gotta wake up! Ma'am!"

You cough the smoke out of your lungs, your head throbs from the movement and you wince in pain. You're brought back to the situation you've found yourself in and remember Gabe is next to you. You look over to him and the feelings become overwhelming again, as you stare at what you can only assume is his dead body.

As a sob erupts from your throat, you look out your window at the man who was calling for you, and are met with desperate, soft brown eyes staring at you through a helmet and face guard. He's a firefighter dressed in full gear. He yells something to you, trying to overpower the other noises happening on the busy highway but you can't connect the sounds with words in your brain. You can only stare at him in confusion, tears falling faster down your cheeks, your breathing uneven.

You see him reach for the handle of the car door and try and open it mumbling a quick "fuck!" in frustration. You're trapped in this car, and he needs to find a way to get both of you out before the whole car goes up in flames.

"Get the jaws! The doors are jammed!" He yells at the team of firefighters surrounding the car and the truck.

He looks back down to you and says as clearly and reassuringly as he can, "Hey, it's okay. It'll be okay, we're gonna get you out of there, okay?"

You begin to nod your head in response when a knock is heard at your brother's window. You whip your head around and see stars for a moment. When your sight clears you see a taller man in uniform shouting to your brother, who isn't responding. Your voice is small and cracks as you try and tell the man outside "he can't, he's not-" and you feel your chest become tight once more.

You hear the man at your window begin talking to you.

"Ma'am, please try and stay still. We must make sure your head is okay. Alright? Please don't move too much. Can you do that for me?" he politely asks you, empathizing with your situation.

You meekly nod your head. Your eyes are stinging. You don't know if it's the smoke or the tears, but it's probably both. As you focus on the man in front of you, you hear the man near your brother begin yelling at his team about the window and needing to check Gabriel's vitals. The man in front of you can tell you're not paying attention, so he speaks up.

"Yunho is going to break the glass to check the man next to you, okay? Just look at me, don't look away from me, okay? My name's Jongho. Just look at me, okay? What's your name?" Jongho asks you to keep you preoccupied and focused on him.

"Y/N," you try and get out of your throat. It's so dry and scratchy your voice isn't much higher than a whisper.

"Okay, y/n. Listen to me, you'll be okay. I'm going to get you out, okay? Who is that in the car with you?"

"M-my brother, Gabe, but he, I-I don't thin-nk," you choke out as you stare at Jongho, unable to say the words. That Gabe is dead. But you don't want him to be. You don't want it to be true. You look down at your door, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic, unable to breathe. You hear glass shatter. As you begin to turn your head, Jongho raises his voice, keeping your focus on him.

"Your brother? Yunho is going to check on him and make sure everything is okay." you hear him say.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Yunho calls out from the driver window. "Try not to breathe the smoke in, Jongho is gonna break your window to get to you, I'm going to take your brothers vitals and make sure he's doing okay. We're going to get you out of here as quickly as possible, okay?"

You glance towards him and nod your head, finding your eyes drawn to the way he checks for a pulse on Gabe, his slender fingers dancing on his throat, his wrist, anywhere he could find a heartbeat. And seeing the increasing worry on Yunho's face does nothing to reassure you. You see his eyes widen, and yours follow. He leans back and yells over to the team, "There's a pulse. It's faint, we need to get him airlifted asap! San, I need you over here!"

While you're fixated on Gabe's pale and limp figure, you hear glass shatter next to you followed by a warm hand turning your cheek towards him. You involuntarily gasp and sputter at the influx of fresh air.

"Deep breaths for me, Y/n. Please look at me." he gently demands. You look into his eyes as he shines a flashlight above them checking your pupils. He can see how bloodshot your eyes are from crying, and he glances over at your brother, then back at you. "Hey, it'll be okay, we're here now. Just look at me, don't look at him. You're okay. Everyone is here to protect you." he rushes out.

His hand rests under your chin as he uses two callused fingers to check your pulse. Then he gently tilts your head to each side to inspect the gash on your forehead as quickly as possible. He glances down your body to check your arms, and torso seeing they're mainly just bruised, when his eyes land on your bump.

His eyes widen as he asks you urgently, "Y/n are you expecting? Are you carrying a child?"

You hadn't even thought about your child. You had been so distraught over your brother; you didn't even consider the health or wellbeing of your unborn baby. Your heart rate rapidly increases as panic begins to set in.

"y-yes I am, I'm 4 months. I-I'm, do you think, are they? god please don't tell me-" you start blubbering as all the possibilities begin to tumble through your head.

Before he can reassure you, he checks down the rest of your body and sees your legs are trapped under the dashboard. And that even when the door is off you won't be able to get yourself out of the car. Jongho defaults to reassurance as he really can't even begin to answer the questions you're asking him, "I-it's okay. Everything is okay. Let's get you out of this car."

Smoke is becoming thicker around the front of the car, and you watch as it blows around Jongho's figure, flooding out the highway from where you sit. Tensions are growing higher as the crew knows there isn't much longer before the car is gone. Four men are teamed together and grab the Jaws of Life from the truck as they begin walking toward your car. Setting up on your brothers side you begin to hear metal cracking and snapping as the four men work to pry the car open with the heavy machinery. You're itching in your skin wishing to jump up and run now that you're trapped, and Jongho can tell. He has his hand braced at the back of your neck, keeping it steady, as you once again begin to panic; he rubs circles on your arm, and pushes your hair back from your sticky forehead and out of your eyes.

You can hear the Jaws stop and in the reflection of the side view mirror you can see Gabe's lifeless body being pulled from the car, his body pale and bright red from blood, blue and purple littering his figure. He's placed on a gurney and run towards the truck where someone begins CPR.

You redirect your eyes to meet Jongho's, whose eyes are looking deeply at you searching for any sign of pain or discomfort, any sudden changes in your condition. "Is he going to be okay? He has to be okay. Please tell me they can fix him." you plead with Jongho, who looks at you with nothing but the heaviest of hearts.

"We're going to do our best. I promise you we will do everything we can. But right now, we need to get you out of here too." he explains. "I'm going to go bring the Jaws over this way and we are going to get you two out of here," he asserts, gesturing at your bump. "I need you to stay still just like you have been, okay? You're doing so great. Keep your arms as close to your body as you can, and don't look at the window in case anything splinters. Do you understand me?" he asks you.

"Please don't leave me. P-please don't, don't go. Please stay." you sob as you realize you'll be left alone in your wrecked car.

"I'll be right here. Remember stay still and close your eyes." he reminds you as he drops his hands from you and gives his team room to operate on the car door.

You sob quietly to yourself. You can't believe this is happening. How Gabe could be here one second and now he's gone. The image of his pale bloody face is burned into the back of your eyelids as you squeeze them tightly shut. You hear the metal of the car frame crunching and cracking once again, as all four men yell commands and directions at each other. Your sobs are uncontrollable as you wish it had been you and not your brother. You wish with all your heart that you could've taken his place.

The door hits the asphalt and almost instantly you hear Jongho next to you, "It's okay. I'm here. I'm right here. I never left." He notices how black the smoke has gotten and decides to check your legs to see if he can carry you out before the rest of the car is disassembled.

"Can you feel your legs?" he urgently asks you.

You nod your head as you cough so hard that you gag.

"shit-" Jongho mumbles under his breath, looking all over your figure and the car, knowing he must move now or never. With his mind moving a million miles a second, he makes the decision that your legs are likely not broken and brings out a blade from his pocket to saw your seat belt off you. You watch as the sweat beads down his forehead and across his dimpled cheeks as he grits his teeth.

Jongho puts his arms under yours, pulling you into his chest, getting your upper body mostly out of the car. When your legs are more visible, he puts one arm under your back and the other under your knees and lifts. You slide out from under the dashboard and with your neck cradled by his bicep and forearm he jogs you away from the car towards the firetruck. He gets five strides in when you hear the explosion. You peek past his arm to see your car engulfed in flames. You can feel the heat on your face, and the sound has left your ears ringing once more.

The team must've anticipated the event as hoses immediately start spraying to drown the car fire. Jongho gets behind the firetruck away from the fire and sets you down making sure you are stable, with no further injuries from his manhandling. He gently places a hand on your bump and hopes against everything that this baby is okay. Just as he's about to stand to find his captain and report your status he feels your hands fist into his uniform jacket holding onto him.

"please don't leave me. please don't leave. d-don't go." you hiccup as you stare pleadingly up at him. With the way you're gripping onto him, he knows there's no way he can walk away from you right now. Instead, he stands up and grabs a clean towel from just inside the truck and begins to tenderly wipe the blood and tears off your face, avoiding the gash on your forehead.

He doesn't have the heart to tell you that Gabe didn't make it, his body covered with a sheet on the other side of the truck. He also doesn't know how to explain that if Gabe hadn't reached over to protect you, he might've been in less critical condition. That he died protecting you. So, for now he wipes away the grime; and, after seeing you shaking, unbuttons his thick uniform jacket so he can hug you; until the paramedics arrive and will inevitably pull you away from him. You don't hesitate to wrap your small arms around his waist, and he holds you, pressing your head against his chest where you can hear his steady heartbeat.

"It's okay, y/n, it's going to be okay. You're okay. I'm here. I've got you." he repeats it like a mantra, over and over, convincing he thinks, both you and himself.

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askmerriauthor · 3 years ago

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Jedi: Fallen Order thoughts 2/?

Discussion on "Star Wars - Jedi: Fallen Order". First post here, spoilers and lengthy rambling after the jump.

Honestly, I love this box art so much purely for the facts that 1) I made sure to remove that poncho the instant I could because the game's cloth dynamic rendering had it flailing about wildly as if it were trying to attack the universe through sheer defiance of physics in every cutscene. And 2) see that alien dude on the left with a pistol? In-game, he's an utter coward who never once participates in anything remotely resembling violence and sure as hell never wields a gun. It just reminds me of how Kirby is always given angry eyebrows in the US because marketing people are fucking stupid and think players won't be drawn to the game with an abjectly cute mascot.

So! The story.

As mentioned in my previous post, "Fallen Order" basically wants to tell a Found Family tale about a ragtag group of remnants who leave behind their previous lives and forge a new future together. We have our main character Cal Kestis; a former Padawan who survived Order 66 and has been in hiding for a handful of years. Cere Junda; a former Jedi who's cut herself off from The Force, Greez Dritus; a gambling addict pilot with a troubled past he's trying to leave behind, and BD-1; an annoyingly named but utterly lovable Droid who is far and away the best character in the entire damn game. There's also Nightsister Merrin; the presumably last survivor of the Nightsisters and potentially Cal's love interest, but she basically only shows up in the last 10 minutes of the game and doesn't get a lot of screentime despite being presented as a major part of the cast.

The game takes place a handful of years after the purge of the Jedi in Order 66, where both Cal and Cere's core character thrust is tied into. Cal was a child who survived only due to his master sacrificing his life to save him and has been wracked with guilt and PTSD ever since. Cere, on the other hand, unintentionally abandoned her own Padawan and other younglings, directly leading to their death, corruption by the Dark Side, and almost falling to the Dark Side herself. The bulk of the narrative throughout the game is dealing with the relationship these two have with one another, coming to terms with their own trauma, and moving forward from there. Meanwhile, the overall plot itself focuses around finding a Holocron that has a map and list of Force-sensitive children throughout the galaxy, which the gang can use to rebuild the Jedi Order while also keeping it - and thus the children - out of The Empire's hands. The whole series of events culminates in a big showdown between Cere's former Padawan whom she abandoned and became corrupted into an Inquisitor, Cal contending with his own guilt, and the decision on whether or not the gang has the right to interfere with the Force-sensitive children's lives and potentially put them in danger if another purge were to occur.

On paper, it's a solid enough story. The actual execution leaves something to be desired.

Something I absolutely hate in games (which has become frustratingly abundant in recent years) is the illusion of choice. If a player is presented with choosing A, B, or C, that decision should matter. Which path is taken should have impact, consequence, and change the course of the story. If all three routes converge back together at the same outcome regardless of what you picked, then your choice never mattered at all. "Fallen Order' suffers from this. There are fairly sporadic points in the game where you're given the option to choose how Cal will reply to a given conversation, or whether or not to take a certain action, but it doesn't matter at all. The conversation's outcome nor the overall story isn't affected by your choice (or even if you bother to have the conversation at all), and the any time you try to do something other than what the game wants you to do, it'll just reset itself endlessly until you cooperate. You have no choice in the matter, but the game makes it appear as if you do to emulate your involvement.

I absolutely hate this in games. If a game presents you with choices, then your choices should have consequences. Your input should matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a linear, plot-driven game where the player has no direct input on the narrative. If anything, that gives the story even greater opportunities to shine because it allows the writers and directors to be in full control of the presentation, characterization, and story.

At the risk of sounding like a cranky old man, this is very much a "back in my day!" sort of situation where older games wouldn't shy away from simply locking a player out of content if they chose a certain path. If you pick A, you don't get to see what happens down B or C. If you want to join the Jets, you don't get to join the Sharks. If you want to see what lies down those other routes, then replay the game and make different decisions. Sometimes it was a specific design choice, other times it was a way to handle hardware/programming restrictions. But there's a big notion these days in particular where there's a desire to make sure the player sees all the game's content up front. I anecdotally chalk it up to an increase in non-gamers entering into video game development at management level and making design decisions they're not qualified for, but that's just my own take. Like, I understand the thought process behind it. "We have all this content, so we want to make it a selling point and ensure the player gets to see all of it! If they play our game and miss a bunch of stuff, they might bitch at us and cause reviews". I get it, I do. But it's also bullshit because it directly harms the final product. If a game is good, players will replay it ad nauseum for ages beyond release. So they're going to see all the content one way or another. When the "we have to let the player access all content up front" mind set is in effect, it means the player's choices ultimately don't matter and the resulting abundance of content is quantity rather than quality.

In the case of "Fallen Order", your choices don't matter one bit and it's not even out of a case of accessing content. For some reason the developers put in this vestigial, pointless façade of a dialogue tree and choice system when the game frankly would've been far stronger if it had just been left out entirely. Developers have to invest one way or another. Either make it a fully narrative-driven game and tell a solid story, or make it a player-driven game and put in the effort to make the player's choices matter. Especially in a Star Wars game, as RPGs in this franchise have historically have Light/Dark Side choices, character deaths, and alternate endings based on your decisions. A big part of "Fallen Order"'s story is characters contending with the risk of falling to the Dark Side because of their trauma, but the game itself never actually gives the player any chance to explore that at all. It's a huge missed opportunity either way.

I think that's where a lot of the story's trouble comes from in the end. It's a lot of build up on a good idea that fizzles out and goes nowhere. Cal spends the entire game getting to a point where he's ready to move on, and then the game ends. Cere comes to terms with her past mistakes and tries to redeem her fallen Padawan, only for said fallen Padawan to be killed abruptly and completely cut off that entire story thread. Greez's past coming back to haunt him is shoe-horned in randomly and never goes anywhere. Merrin doesn't have enough time on screen to matter. There are three major villains throughout the game who are just cast aside casually and with no lingering impact for ever having been there. The biggest final boss, who has been the core antagonist and a major point of emotional conflict for the entire game, is discarded with no resolution because this is a Star Wars game and we just can't have one that doesn't feature Darth Vader sweeping in to steal the spotlight.

It's just... ugh. There's potential here. There's obvious, glowing moments of potential where things could've been developed into something really impressive if they were just given the opportunity. It feels like a huge waste and the end result is just a "meh" game that doesn't go anywhere, doesn't contribute to the setting, and could very easily be dismissed entirely from the franchise with absolutely no impact.

#star wars #jedi fallen order

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