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hum-suffer · 11 months ago

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I'm Yours 5

Ishan curses the moment he has sober thoughts back in his head, that is, the next morning. He slept through his alarm and has less than half an hour to get ready and not be late to college so he stores any and all thoughts away as he carefully puts down the gajra from his wrist and onto the dining table before running around his house like a headless chicken.

His day proves to be even more trying, as news reaches the college that the university is going to host an organisation for cultural events and as the manager, Ishan is supposed to coordinate at least the engineering department. He couldn't have had a weirder week.

He almost snaps at a student when they ask him for important questions but at the last moment manages to hold his tongue and instead give them a later date for such a discussion. He has a lot on his plate already, and them asking for important questions almost a month before the exam is literally not helping him.

____________________________________________________

It happens when Ishan enters Virat's office, to borrow his copy of Rashmirathi. Virat bhaiya seems to be talking to someone on his phone, a video call.

He beams when he sees Ishan. "Arre, Ishan! I was just talking about you. You should take more holidays too, baba, you look so rested."

It's the effect of mind numbing alcohol after my stalker became a cock block, he wants to say. Instead, he snorts,"Wow, call me out on all my dark circles, why don't you?"

Virat bhaiya shakes his head fondly. He beckons Ishan on the other side of the table and almost shoves his phone in Ishan's hand. He's been talking to Shubhman.

Shubhman seems to be just as surprises to see him and freezes. Ishan freezes as well, but for something else entirely.

He has a fucking hickey on his chin.

His heart thuds uncomfortably in his chest as he smiles,"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm good," he absolutely doesn't sound good with the way his eyes are widening,"Just wanted to show Virat bhaiya the toys I bought for Vamika yesterday." Almost as if he's relieved, he turns the phone camera to some soft toys, piled up messily. Ishan smiles, spotting the Pikachu plushie that Vamika is sure to love.

"That's very sweet of you, Shubhman." He looks at Virat bhaiya and back at Shubhman. "I'm very sorry to cut this short but I need to borrow Virat bhaiya's copy of Rashmirathi instantly before my next class."

"Of course, totally understandable! It was nice talking to you!" He seems like he is hesitant in adding anything else.

Even as he knew it could probably be the worst choice of his life, Ishan smiles at him at graciously. "Fir milenge."

____________________________________________________

Shubhman is waiting on the steps of his porch when Ishan returns home. He looks like a kicked puppy.

He keeps stealing glances at Ishan, as he walks across the veranda. He stands up when Ishan reaches him and Ishan gestures at the door, unlocking his house and letting his guest enter first, as courtesy dictates.

"Ishan. Can we talk?"

Ishan nods, removing his jacket and throwing it over the arm of the sofa. "We can. But before that, I need tea to survive that conversation. Do you want some?"

"Please, thank you."

The pass the time in silence, unlike last time when they'd been yapping on and on about one thing or the other.

As the tea is boiling, Ishan sneaks a glance at Shubhman, who is staring at the bunch of gajras that Ishan has now started to group at the corner of the dining table. Before Ishan can take his eyes away from Shubhman, the man turns and Ishan wants to bury himself somewhere because Shubhman looks so fucking beautiful.

"I'm not sorry for meeting you, for falling for you or for wanting to date you," Shubhman says. His voice is shaking. "But I am sorry if I was a nuisance to you or if I scared you. I only ever wanted to, I don't know, just let you know how my world revolves around you."

Ishan doesn't know what to say, so he remains silent. Shubhman continues, softer, more vulnerable. "The day I saw you, I wanted to completely drown in you. Possess and be possessed. You seemed so full of life, love and enthusiasm. And I was never even remotely like that. I've never had a shred of peace or enthusiasm. You're so beautiful, so lively. I wanted you to myself."

"You could have asked me on date, Shubhman." He says, pouring the tea in teacups that he bought last year— only because they looked cute to him. White, covered all over by cute emojis. Shubhman gets the one with sparkle emojis.

Shubhman raises his eyebrows, still uncertain. "And you wouldn't have turned out to be homophobic? Or just token straight? Or even committed?" He blows lightly on his tea and the smell of mint calms Ishan somehow. "I realise I was wrong, but wanted to protect myself. I found out everything about you there is to find— I wanted to be cautious. I'm one of the youngest names in the industry, I'm unused to the attention and my success makes me a target for jealousy. I am nothing if not careful."

"And so humble, too." Ishan marks with a wry grin.

Shubhman looks down, almost shy. He continues after a moment,"I started searching you up and then when I was sure that you're all around a good person, I couldn't hide the urge to text you. After the first day, it became kind of addicting. Talking to you was the highlight of my day."

"You can break into my house to give me gajras and not ask me on a date?" Ishan raises an eyebrow. Shubhman shuffles adorably. Ishan is reminded how young and hence naive the man is, and something certainly unethical flares inside him.

Stop, he tells himself. For the sake of a peaceful death, stop.

Shubhman gives him a hesitant half grin. "I'm not even sorry."

And that was the truth. While Shubhman may feel sorry about spooking Ishan, but he won't feel sorry about pursuing him— in any way.

Ishan realises abruptly that his tea is empty when Shubhman lifts his cup up, taking his mug as well and putting them both in the sink. Ishan doesn't even have the coherence to stop his guest from doing chores because— what the fuck. What the fuck. His stalker is washing their cups of tea.

"No, wait!" Shubhman looks at him, surprised,"What are you doing, you're my guest! My mother will kill me if she finds out! Stop!"

Shubhman laughs and throws some water at Ishan almost unthinkingly before he freezes. Ishan swats him on the bicep.

There's something dangerous bubbling in his chest and it's not necessarily illicit but it is so so tempting and rattling.

Shubhman smiles at him and Ishan wants to keep the smile tattooed over his throat and feel him every time he takes a deep breath.

____________________________________________________

It's a miracle but ishan somehow manages to blink himself back to reality when Shubhman starts speaking. It's breath of fresh air to see the boy standing awkwardly in his kitchen, but Ishan has better manners than that. He leads Shubhman back to the living room. They cannot sit apart, won't, and Ishan feels so awkward that he might as well have met him at the club again.

"So," Ishan stretches out the syllable,"last night? What was...that?"

Shubhman blushes and looks down. For all purposes, he looks like he is here to give an interview or proposition a marriage.Ishan knows which one he prefers.

(No. Stop. Bad Ishan. BAD.)

"As you know, I've already hacked into your phone." Ishan raises an eyebrow and Shubhman shrugs with a wince. "I promise I didn't find you through that. I was in the club to drink myself in misery since the whole spooking you in the bathroom thing. It was out of line and I am very sorry about that. But yeah. I saw you with the guy and...I couldn't just watch. I wanted to be one whom you laugh with, whom you dance with. I knew all the dance hook steps you seemed to be enjoying and I wanted you to look at me like you're proud.

"I got the lights cut off for a while. I only planned to come near you and just bask in the fact that you're touching me. Things... escalated. And well. I can't claim to regret anything." His hand hovers over the hickey at his chin and his eyes look at the biege shirt Ishan is wearing, the one that conceals his own set of hickeys just barely. He'd had to wear a tie today to hide the one at his throat.

Ishan knows something is wrong with him because he definitely doesn't regret that either. He thinks that he'd love it anyway, if it was Shubhman or the stalker. The only reason that he didn't recognise the voice was because Shubhman appeared to have a mild cold, which deepened his voice.

Shubhman purses his lips and it's only when Ishan sees the look on his face that he realises that he's fingering the hickey at his throat. Shubhman's jaw tightens but he stays where he is.

Ishan gulps and looks away, at the gajras at the dining table.

"So," Shubhman copies Ishan. "Something like a girlfriend, huh?"

"You leave me flowers, worry about my well being and steal my shirts. I'm not even wrong," Ishan says with a grin. Shubhman grins back but Ishan knows that he wants a real answer and that makes him look away. "Since my childhood, I've had issues with, um, sharing. Thinking that someone solely wanted me, that someone is completely mine in a sense that is undecipherable, it may be wrong but I was flattered. I liked being the sole attention."

Shubhman looks at him hesitantly. "My attention is only ever going to be on you, Ishan, should you allow it. There's nothing I want more than I want you to be my partner, my companion."

"And you're not a murdering psychopath who stalks people, makes them fall for him and then kills them?" Ishan asks, just to be sure. He's late in the question and he's also aware that an actual psychopath wouldn't say the truth, because plausible deniability, who?

Shubhman grins at him. Ishan wants to curse how beautiful he is. No fucking wonder he's on so many magazine covers. He would have ended the world of modelling if he didn't choose academics.

"And you're asking me this question after I've broken into your house more than three times and you've invited me for tea twice?"

Ishan shrugs. Shubhman laughs.

"No." The intensity of the word comes as a bit of a shocker. "There's never going to be anyone but you. And you'll never get hurt by my hand intentionally, I swear it. You're everything, Ishan." Shubhman smiles, softer and quieter. He turns and his knee bumps with Ishan's thigh. "I don't become a stalker for just anyone, Ishan."

Ishan feels heat rush to his cheeks and ears. He unnecessarily clears his throat. "It's a good thing too. How would I take you to the best date ever if you're in jail?"

Shubhman blinks owlishly. Ishan panics. He definitely shouldn't have asked. Maybe Shubhman wanted to take it slow. Maybe he didn't want a relationship. Maybe he was busy. Maybe he found out he didn't like Ishan all that much—

"You still want me? After... everything?"

Ishan breathes a sigh of relief. One of his hand goes to Shubhman's knee unbidden and the other goes to cup his face.

"I've wanted you since the very moment I heard about you, baby. Of course, of course, I want you."

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Tagging: @mayakimayahai @onthecloudseven @kyayaarkiraa @k-h-watari @ek-ladki-bheegi-bhagi-si @khwxbeeda @fortunatelycrazyyouth @theseventhhoax @ms-potato @athena-swords (bless you and your comments, ily)

#shubhman gill #ishan kishan #ishman #shubish #fanfiction

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