#rariy.txt

[raritycat]

I am dying for ALR or Foodie Beauty to talk about the Glitterandlazers videos recently.

I hope they are kind to Anna and see that she's doing what she needs to to get healthy. Maybe take some notes from her. Idk. I can dream.

[raritycat]

Not gonna lie, I have been struggling hard. The cold weather puts my snack mode into overdrive and to top it off this week I’ve probably set a record of how many times I’ve eaten out for food. A friend is in from out of town and I love her but because we haven’t seen each other in a long while it’s easiest to just sit down and talk over food and drinks.

She’s leaving soon and although I’m definitely going to miss her again, it really highlights how much more work I have to go in controlling myself. Not starving or having nothing, but re-evaluating every single item of food and understanding what that bite will do for me. or to me.. 

Also it doesn’t help that since I’m over the 40 lb mark, my brain is just saying that 180 isn’t bad and I could just maintain this without any bad effects. But I don’t want to maintain any overweight number, I want to be my goal even if it takes another year. Then compounded on that I’ve been stressed about everything, jobs, insurance, car troubles, what I’m going to do for Christmas since I’ll be broke af. And I don’t even get to see my man very often at the moment, which makes the times we do meet sweet but the times away make my heart ache. Idk. Nowhere to go but onward to a better life. 

I wish I could see the light at the end, but it’s a long way still.