#rantings of a future dogtor

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Today I got to do my first pregnancy check on a cow, so I have my entire fucking arm inside this cow and all of a sudden I feel a little wretched fetus and I dead ass said, “Oh my god, there’s a creature in here”

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Once overheard my boss letting an owner know that their beloved pet pig, Chris P. Bacon, had severe arthritis

there’s a morbidly hilarious disconnect between the inherent angst/tragedy of veterinary medicine and the type of names people like to give their animals. I’m afraid Mr. Wiggles has lymphoma. Tater Tot is being admitted to the ICU. I’m here to pick up Bruce Wayne’s ashes.

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I have my ovine physical exam lab tomorrow and it will always crack me up how to properly restrain sheep like

The little leggy pulled up to see the hoof? 😭😂

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I have an autopsy at 10 am yet here I am, scrolling the codywan tag, searching for a good hit of hurt / comfort to soothe my mind and soul

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

GUYS

I did it! I passed all of my classes!!!!!

Im officially moving on to my next semester of veterinary school!

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I passed my classes and made it to next semester!! Dr. Keurig is now officially 50% loaded 🫡

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Sorry for being AWOL and spotty with replies lol, I’ve been on bottle baby duty

I’m also trying to prep for finals but I will get back to y’all asap I promise 🫡

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

As of today I am 27 years old…and I’m still in school…

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Holy fucking shit I didn’t fail outta vet school

Y’all I did it I passed all of my classes this semester

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

There’s this thing called Equine Metabolic Syndrome (EMS) but for the past year or so I’ve always jokingly referred to it as Horse Too Fat Syndrome bc I’m me and I can’t take anything serious

My exam this morning had a fill in the blank question and the answer was specifically and very clearly Equine Metabolic Syndrome - y’all I could not for the life of me remember wtf it was actually called 😭😭😭

I was fighting for my life and all I could come up with was fuckin Horse Too Fat Syndrome

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Love how human medicine will have their staff 3 zip codes over and in an underground shelter to take radiographs, meanwhile vet med just tosses you a lead apron from 1753 w/ no gloves and MAYBE a thyroid shield and says “good luck!” while you wrestle an 80 pound pit bull who does not wanna stay still

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Just made my first big girl, professional post in a Veterinary group and I’m nervous 😅

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Vet school update: i was almost mugged by a monkey but other than that things are going great 👍🏼

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

I saw a baby donkey yesterday and it was life changing. my brain just decided they were born full grown so to see an actual baby was,,,,,,enlightening

But look at this little guy! He’s just a fella. A pal. Baby.

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Veterinary school update this shit is hard and immunology is trying to take me out so I’ve started associating all the cells and other nonsense with clones

[phantom-of-the-keurig]

Professor: alright y’all don’t forget your white coats for tomorrows lab, we’re gonna be practicing bone marrow aspirates

Me, who still mentally feels 18 years old: we what