#rambling because woke up randomly at 2AM

[that-giorgione]

Woke up in the middle of the night right after dreaming:

A) Jamie cameo, forgot the exact situation but there was a community puzzle that needed solving. Not a fallen london related one though, just random irl/3d videogame(?) convoluted puzzle.

B) A drawing of Giorgione in bed obviously after a one-night-stand saying “what are we…” to… Rory. Which i find a mildly amusing impossibly. Honestly i think the only occasion where I imagine them in the same room is a fight to the death.

[leviackermansbrat]

May I have a aot matchup I'm a short girl around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. I have a very kind heart and sad stories or ones with very happy endings make my heart happy or hurt like crazy. But even though I'm kind that doesn't mean i am nice all the time. I am extremely grumpy and have a short temper especially on no sleep or if I just woke up. I also do have adhd and some anxiety I dont like being touched randomly unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. As for dreams I'm not sure I wanna be a voice actor but not too sure if its right for me as I don't know how to edit or even have the equipment. I want someone who can just listen to me as I ramble on about things I love. I want someone to understand that I think differently then normal people. I also want someone to be able to understand im not the most affectionate person but I can be if given time but I will help someone if they are touch starved like I am.

Your Attack on Titan matchup is....

Eren Jaeger!

How does it feel being one of the only people in the world that can keep this crazy mf in check? First off, you guys are super compatible. With Eren being an angry ass Aries, he needs a Leo to balance him out and prevent him from committing literal genocide again lol. You and Eren both share a love for dark humor, and he helps you with your anxiety in any way that he can. Both of you are actually horrible singers, but what do you do? Belt at the top of your lungs to country music at 2am rip yall cause levi is going to tear yall asses up. When you have trouble standing up for yourself, Eren will be right there behind you to step in if he needs to, although he does want you to learn how to defend yourself in case he isn't there to help you. You and Eren will talk for hours on end about the things that you love and both of you are equally invested in the other's dreams. Eren is one of the most understanding when it comes to different views and he will never make you feel less than or inferior because of what you believe! Eren is 100000% touch starved, but he won't mind if you're not as affectionate at first. He's not someone to push your boundaries and will always respect your space. Overall your relationship with Eren is absolute goals.

A/N: I'm sorry if this isn't long enough, ya girl is burnt out and in need of a good night's sleep..but this has been sitting in my requests for a minute so I wanted to hurry and get this out. Sorry if it's bad :(

[sinful-imagines]

Alright, here’s the one I’m most proud of. It’s Naramis again because it’s my favorite ship and I love writing for it.

April 4th and Pistol Children- Naramis

Word count: 1144

TW: Panic attack

It was 1:37am, and Guido Mista was rocking back and forth on his floor and hyperventilating. He'd accidentally stayed up too late and watched in horror as the date switched from 4-3 to 4-4.

He'd been like this since midnight because he couldn't really bring himself to do anything else. This April 4th was particularly bad because it was the first April 4th in which he had a boyfriend. Narancia was usually the center of his thoughts for the accursed days for the past couple of years, but this time it was especially bad. Graphic images of Narancia dying in various ways had been in his mind for the past hour, but the one that worried him most felt all too real.

He was impaled on a fence, completely lifeless and Mista couldn't do anything. He could only watch in horror as the love of his life laid still with blood leaking from dozens of holes in his body.

That sent him over the edge, and caused tears to start spilling out of his eyes. Yup, this was it. Narancia was going to die today and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.The image got more and more detailed in his mind, and it made him fall into a complete panicked state. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," He said over and over again until it became almost incoherent mumblings.

Narancia was feeling the complete and total opposite. He had no idea that it was even past midnight or the accursed day. He was happily mashing buttons on his PS2 controller until he started hearing sobs from Mista's room. He raised an eyebrow and paused the game as he died to go investigate before freezing unexpectedly. Not only did he think it was only 8pm and not almost 2 already, the date on the Playstation said 4-4. That caused Narancia to practically run over to Mista's room, not caring who else he woke up along the way. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten that it was that day, and was upset at himself for not remembering. The door was left cracked open, most likely from the fact that Mista was too panicked to actually close it. Narancia threw open the door and ran over to where Mista was, the sight he saw breaking his fragile little heart into a million pieces. "M-Mista? Oh no don't cry please don't cry I'm here," he mumbled out nervously as he sat down next to his boyfriend and started nuzzling into his neck. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here before..I didn't notice the date..go ahead and tell me what's wrong, I'm all ears," he rambled as he cleaned up a few of Mista's tears and looked at him intently.

Mista did not want Narancia to see him broken and panicked like this, but it helped with his anxiety and visions a lot so he managed to push the thought to the side for now. He took a deep breath in and out before putting his feelings into words. "Well..I keep having thoughts of..losing you. And I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to protect you but I couldn't. And it feels fuckin awful." Mista took another deep breath and started playing with his boyfriend's raven colored hair.

"O-oh..I'm sorry. I-" Narancia was about to try and comfort him but was cut off by the cries of six touch starved pistol children.

"Naranciaaaaaa! We missed youuu!" Cried out Number 1 before launching itself onto Narancia's chest, the other 5 pistols quickly following it. Mista felt his face flush as his Stand acted on their own accords, but didn't mind it in the slightest as it helped him forget what day it was.

"Aww! You know if you wanted me to touch you more you could've just asked. But I don't mind cuddling with the pistols, they're so cute!" Mista groaned quietly at the implication that he told the pistols to do what they were doing but didn't object because he really did want to be touched by his boyfriend as much as possible. As Narancia was cuddling his pistols, he made the mistake of randomly picking a pistol out of his chest to stroke with his fingers causing every other pistol to start yelling and fighting each other for his affection.

"He loves me the most!" Yelled out number 6, the one who got randomly selected.

"No he loves me the most!" Number 2 yelled back angrily.

"He doesn't love me at all..." sobbed out number 5.

And that continued for a while until the room was full of pistols screaming over each other and moving all around Narancia's body trying to cuddle him in a bunch of different places. Mista hated to admit it, but he was beginning to get jealous of his own Stand, though the warm feelings he got from them cuddling Narancia was enough to keep him quiet for a while. "Shut up you guys! He loves me more than all of you so that's the problem solved. Now get back in the gun before I take away your salami privileges for a month," Mista said as he gestured for the whiny pistol children to get into his gun.

"You're so mean to them! What did they ever do to you?" Narancia asked before turning back to the pistols. "Don't listen to him, he's just jealous of how much affection I show you guys. But you should probably get back in the gun because Mista's really panicked and upset right now, mkay?" Narancia asked in a voice that seemingly charmed and convinced the pistols immediately. He kissed each and every pistol goodbye as they hopped into Mista's gun before quickly burying his face back into his neck.

"How the hell do you control them so easily? And that made me feel a lot better, so thanks for that. Makes me wish I could do that with your stand, but I feel like it would look and feel weird if I cuddled with a plane." Mista yawned, reminding him that it was almost 2am. "I think I'm gonna go to bed. But uh..could you sleep in here tonight? It's still April 4th after all, no telling what could happen if we were alone."

"Yeah, of course! I need your big strong body to protect me from all the evil four monsters!" Narancia grinned as he laid down in Mista's bed. He was surprised at how soft it was, and was pleasantly surprised that it smelled like Mista.

"Mm.. love..you.." Mista mumbled out, already half asleep as he laid down and threw his arms around Narancia. They both fell asleep rather quickly and for the first time since the day started Mista didn't care that it was April 4th.

[the-quiet-winds]

Shake it till You See it

so this one was an idea i had that @ichlugebulletsandcornnuts and i wrote together and, to be quite honest, it is hands down one of my favorite ones we’ve ever done (not including the ward au because that is our damn CHILD but you understand (which btw the first part of the next installment should be up tomorrow))

this one is pretty soft overall, but there are some moments of self-deprecation. otherwise, we should be pretty good.

being on tour had given the queens the opportunity to travel all over europe, and the producers told them that in the future they were planning on taking the tour global. right now, the queens were in Spain, and aragon had delighted in the opportunity to show her fellow queens around. on this particular day, however, both jane and parr had decided to stay at home while the others went to a nearby beach; parr immediately retires to the tiny room she’d commandeered as an office in their rented accommodation, while jane decides to get some cleaning done. the other queens, as lovely as they were, did not seem to have ‘keeping tidy’ mastered in their list of skills. it was a tie between boleyn and katherine as to who was the messiest with their belongings, and so jane decides to tackle katherine’s room first. she starts by sorting the large pile of clean laundry sitting on the desk that katherine had never got around to putting away. she starts placing them in the correct drawers, but upon opening katherine’s sock drawer she’s faced with a notebook. the cover is plain pink and jane picks it up, frowning slightly. she was going to put it back, but then a photo falls out of the notebook and drifts to the floor.

jane picks it up and a wave of nostalgia washes over her.

the picture is of jane and parr from when they were in finland, touring helsinki. parr had taken the picture, jane remembers with a fond smile. the two of them had been sitting at a table outside a tiny cafe, eating finger sandwiches and drinking iced tea (a horrifying concept to jane, but it wasn’t absolutely horrible). the moment captured in the picture was when jane let out one of her trademarked ‘mum puns’, as they were called, causing katherine to uproariously laugh and jane to grin quite goofily at katherine’s reaction.

jane smiles down at the photograph for a moment or two. she opens the notebook, intending to just tuck the photograph in the pages, but the page it falls open on catches her eye.

there was a photograph of her and katherine, both fast asleep at an airport. katherine’s legs were tucked under her and her head was resting on jane’s shoulder. next to the photo were some sparkly silver star stickers, placed seemingly randomly across the page, and underneath were the words “Glasgow Airport, 23rd December” written in pink glitter pen. in smaller letter underneath it reads “me and jane talked about the brönte sisters - she loves them (note to self: read bronte sisters?)”

a rush of affection runs through jane’s system at the note. she’s suddenly struck with a memory of seeing katherine toting around one or two brönte books not too long after.

the opposing page is all written in fine green ink:

“it’s christmas! jane loved the CDs, she says she’s going to listen to them all the time. she got me this gorgeous jewelry box from stockholm and i think she wants me to put a picture in the lid. i just don’t know which one to choose!”

a soft smile grows on jane’s lips; she remembers vividly katherine running into her room a week and a half after christmas to proudly display the box, complete with a photo of the two of them at their London press night. both of them had been shocked at the positive response and had giddy smiles on their faces, wearing the gorgeous dresses they’d bought specifically for that occasion. from what she’d written, it seemed as if katherine had agonised over the choice for that full amount of time and the thought was sweetly endearing to jane.

she doesn’t even realise she’s turning the page until it’s already happened, eyes already skimming the next passage.

“18th January - we arrived in norway yesterday and the first show was a blast! lots of positive reception.

last night i had a stupid nightmare. the usual. i don’t really know how, but when i woke up, jane was there. she did that thing with my hair that calms me down.”

there are some water droplets on the page, presumably tears to jane.

“i don’t know what i did without her, to be honest.”

jane stares down at the page, heart aching for katherine. “oh, sweetheart,” she murmurs, even though there’s nobody around to hear her. she looks over at the opposite page, where katherine had stuck a ticket to Oslo Aquarium at the top.

“19th January - we went to the aquarium! just me and jane. i think she wanted to make me feel better after last night. when we were in the cafe jane went to pay for everything and a woman asked me where ‘my mum’ got her coat from!!” the word ‘mum’ was underlined three times and jane stares at it, trying to work out if it was meant to be positive or negative.

jane knows she shouldn’t keep reading. these were katherine’s private thoughts, obviously not meant to be read by anyone else.

but jane’s curiosity was killing her.

she flips the page.

“katherine’s 2am thought #46” is written across the top. “jane really really REALLY loves when her mum puns”

this brings a smile out of jane and she gives a small laugh. the journal continues on like this, memories and tickets and photographs littered throughout. one page features a small sketch of a person; it was difficult to tell who it was supposed to be due to the fact it was unfinished and had a scribble through it, with “WHY CANT I DRAW” written in biro underneath. jane frowns. she personally thought the drawing was quite good. the next page was even worse, however.

katherine had just written the word “stupid” over and over again, in shaky handwriting and with tear stains littering the page.

jane’s heart twists and her jaw falls open in a small gasp. it seems so logical, jane realizes, that katherine would have some (...a lot, really) of self-esteem issues. jane hates knowing that she’s suffered in such a way and somewhere, deep down, promises that, if she can help it, katherine will never feel so low about herself again.

little does she expect, when she turns the page, to read a similar sentiment echoed in katherine’s words.

“25th January - we went on a walk this morning. there was a woman with a little boy, she was helping him learn to ride a bike. jane tries to hide it but i know it got to her, seeing that. i wanna try and make her feel better. i don’t know how, but i’m gonna try. she deserves to be happy.”

tears well in jane’s eyes and the little statement. she then very clearly remembers what must have been that evening when katherine came into jane’s room, blanket around her shoulders and ‘wuthering heights’ clenched in her hand, shyly asking if they could read together. it was a tender moment, one which ended in katherine asleep practically in jane’s lap at that point. it had, in fact, made jane incredibly happy to share something she loves with someone she loves

jane is flipping through a few more pages when suddenly there’s a clatter of the front door being thrown open and a gaggle of overexcited voices float down the corridor. jane hurriedly goes to shove the journal back into the drawer, but a charm on her bracelet catches on a page and as she yanks her arm away the page rips.

she doesn’t even realize the page ripped and simply closes the drawer and hurried back to where she was folding the laundry.

katherine walks in a moment later, hair slicked back from the water, a ‘six!’ tank top and gym shorts over her bathing suit.

“oh, hey jane,” she says surprised, but not displeased at having this particular guest in her room. “whatcha up to?”

katherine’s eyes fall on the single discarded page and picks it up. her eyes widen. it’s the page from her journal where she had simply written ‘stupid’ over and over. she looks at jane with wide eyes. “what were you doing?” she asks fearfully.

jane freezes, eyes widening as she spots the page in katherine’s hand. “I-” she starts. “I was just doing some tidying, love.”

“how did this end up on the floor?” katherine asks, voice with a thin veneer of calm over the clear panic. jane doesn’t answer for a moment. she doesn’t want to tell the truth, doesn’t want to admit that she violated katherine’s privacy by reading her personal thoughts, but it doesn’t take a genius to work out how the paper ended up outside of the journal, and jane knows that katherine already knows the answer to her question.

jane deflates, shoulders sagging. “i’m sorry, love,” she says quietly, not meeting katherine’s shocked and probably hurried face. “i didn’t mean to, i just opened the drawer and saw the book. then something fell out so i went to pick it up and i was stuck. please forgive me, kat.” jane looks down, ashamed, waiting for katherine’s response.“nobody was meant to see that,” katherine says quietly. she doesn’t know how to react; she mostly just feels embarrassment. her cheeks flush as she thinks of jane reading the parts where katherine is thrilled to be mistaken for jane’s daughter, or the stupid childish stickers she’d put on some pages, or her self-pitying rambles. she’d be surprised if jane could see her as anything except a stupid little girl after reading that, and she looks down to avoid eye contact.

jane notices katherine’s cheeks and ears burn bright red. katherine isn’t mad, she’s embarrassed. about what, though? what was she not meant to see?

she suddenly remembers seeing ‘mum’ underlined three times on the aquarium page.

“i’d be honored if someone thought you were my daughter,” she says quietly and suddenly.

katherine looks up, eyes wide and almost disbelieving. “r-really?” she asks, voice practically reaching a squeak. jane nods, not reaching out to her but just subtly opening her arms, in case katherine wanted a hug. just as she predicted, katherine lets out a tiny, slightly embarrassed noise of happiness and darts into her arms. her hair and clothes are still damp from the water but jane doesn’t mind.

“i still shouldn’t have looked at your journal, though, kat,” jane says as she hugs katherine. “and for that i really am sorry, I promise you it won’t happen again.”

“it’s okay,” katherine squeaks. a thought strikes her and she pulls away. jane panics, hoping that katherine didn’t have a sudden change of heart. katherine digs the book out and flips wildly on it, looking for a certain page. she blushes heavily as she shyly hands the book to jane.

“this is like the only good drawing in here,” she says, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

the sketch is in dark pencil, a drawing of her and jane together on the couch. katherine looks to be curled up, head on jane’s lap, the other woman’s hands gently resting in her hair.

“kat, this is brilliant,” jane says softly, eyes transfixed on the drawing. katherine fidgets slightly.

“you really think so?”

“i do,” jane smiles. katherine looks uncertain for a moment.

“would you like it?” she blushes again. “the drawing, i mean. you can have it, if you want.” she shrugs, as if nonchalant, but her cheeks pink and ruin the effect.

“i’d love it, sweetheart.”

jane, remembering what else she’d seen in the journal, sets it down and katherine’s heart sinks. it only gets worse when jane takes her hands and tugs her to the bed, where they sit down next to each other. jane turns to face kat before speaking.

“about what else i saw in there,” she starts and katherine cringes, knowing exactly what she saw and what was about to come.

she didn’t expect jane’s hands to leave hers and gently come to cup her cheeks, tenderly bringing her face up so they were eye to eye.

“kat, love,” jane says, “i know that you have a lot of...,” she searches for the right words, “self-esteem issues, perhaps.” katherine flinches slightly, so jane strokes a thumb lightly on her cheek. “i just want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, and i’ll never judge or think anything less of you.”

katherine looks down, and then back up at jane, eyes wide and uncertain. jane does her best to pour all the love she has into her reassuring smile, and katherine sends her a weak one of her own.

“thank you,” she says quietly. jane tucks a strand of hair behind katherine’s ear.

“it’s no trouble, love. i’m here for you, always.”

katherine’s eyes well with tears again, and jane hopes they’re tears of relief.

sure enough katherine’s resolve crumbles as she falls into jane’s arms, mumbling words of thanks and love into the crook of jane’s neck.

jane gently strokes her hair. “always, love. always.”

[dewdropsonadevilsivy]

I had a weird stressful dream between 5-6am this morning that two weird guys I know from my hometown were texting me at 2am while I was sleeping at my Nan’s house with a friend (the house had like 20 rooms inside of each other) and one of them came to the house and tried to get in the bedroom widow, and my friend started screaming at them to fuck off and my Nan got really upset with me. Then I woke up and I’d been laying on my arms and they were both completely numb and had pins & needles and I rolled over and as I did my cupboard door popped open randomly (which it never does) and scared the crap out of me. Then I went back to sleep and woke up again because I heard knocking at my door but it was just a dream. Anyway I got up at like 6:45~ I had an hour and forty-five minute session with my psych, we talked about a lot of things and perfectionism and what my realistic goals are to be more content etc. I went for a v long walk then I got butterfly and star and moon stickers and now I’m eating cold pesto pasta~ it’s a nice day thanks for listening if you got this far through my incessant rambling