#ramblepants

[stupidcupid06]

(TTRPG) How to build suspense without being too much of a jackass

To not blindside players with major reveals that affect their characters signifcantly and make roleplaying more difficult for them unnecessarily, its often important to tell at least some players what your plans are - which can lead to a lack of suspense for some games. Spice this up by ominiously chuckling when your players ask about random unimportant things.

Some examples from my home game: Me: I just bought a bulletein board Player: Why did you buy a bulletein board? Me: Oh… you’ll see (it was for a fun prop I revealed at the beginning of the next session)

Me: Would anyone be interested in painting a portrait for D&D-related purposes? Player: Sure, sounds fun! Of who? Me: Chuckles You’ll find out soon enough. (it was of the queen of the nation they are in)

(Mid-session, while the players are having an in-character argument) Player: Hey cupid… what are you writing over there? Me: Nothing you need to concern yourself with (it was a doodle of an NPC)

You probably already do this subconciously but its fun to make it a concious process. You’ll notice that in the first two examples I’m the one inciting their curiousity actively, getting them to think about the game even as it isn’t going on and making the game more secretive than it actually is.

[stupidcupid06]

This is a fantastic post and I'm about to go off on a very long tangent that has almost nothing to do with it.

So, I've been thinking a lot about this line:

and you will have to kill me to stop me being queer

I find this oddly endearing. It's weird. Like, I am a pretty queer person, but I'm not as attached to it as she obviously is. And I don't particularly value strong statements like that in real life, even when well-delivered as pieces of rhetoric.

Then I realized why: it's because I don't treat this as a "real" discussion. the idea of someone being repulsed by the word queer has been presented to me seriously maybe three times, when I've bothered to engage with TERFs.

So, I'm treating this post as a well-written piece of...not exactly fiction, just news. A story so far outside of my personal life that it may as well be fictional. And then I realized what this really reminded me of:

(Song description: This is a short song from the musical Billy Elliot sung by Billy's father about his life and his attachment to the miner's life. Full lyrics should be availible through the link, or (if you can) give it a listen - it's a great song.)

What's happening in this song is very similar to the sentiment expressed by submalevolentgrace here! Both people are essentially telling their audience that they care so much about their community and their life and the things they've spent their life doing. So that's what's really fascinating to me: that someone can know themselves and their life so well that rhey can declare that attachment to an aspect of their life. Maybe there are parts of your identity you would die for - but there aren't any for me.

Maybe that explains why that phrase was so surprisingly endearing to me. I am, for many reaosns, a social chameleon. I am not particularly good at moving among any social circle other than my closest friends, (due to some undiagnosed neurodivergence, probably) but I do so with ease. If the facists were to kill everyone I know tomorrow I could probably blend in, for a year or two at least. I don't know if it makes me a coward to be willing to do that, but just having the ability to do so separates me from many people, I think. That might be why that strong commitment surprises me so much.

I hope this long ramble was of some interest to you :)

ETA: I think I implied that I haven't been called slurs, but I have. I was called "gay" derogatorily a ton in middle school. Never really bothered me though. "re******" does bother me but luckily for me there's no huge movement to reclaim it as far as I know.

if i say "the queer community", i am referring to the community of self identified queers. if you're not a self identified queer, then i wasn't talking about you!

"i don't like to be called queer because it hurt me!" cool, fine, whatever. the word gay hurt me, i get it. but see, i didn't actually call you queer, i was talking about, and this might be difficult to follow; people who like being queer! that's why i said "queer community", to refer to the broad community of queers.

"but i'm gay/lesbian/bi/ace/whatever and i don't like it being used as an umbrella term!" okay, cool. if someone forces you under an umbrella you don't like that sure does suck! i hate being forced under the "LBGT+" umbrella myself. i absolutely loathed "trans*", i get it, trust me. i would like to draw your attention to the fact that i just said "queer community", which explicit in text and implicit in meaning, refers to a community of people... bare with me here.... people who are queer. if you do not consider yourself queer.... then it wasn't about you. it was about me and my community.

"but i know what group you're talking about and it applies to me too!" okay but you see that, you see that you're putting yourself under the umbrella there right? and then complaining about it, right? it's not my fault you decided it was about you? you're always going "it's okay for you to use, but" and then attack us when we do use it for ourselves, by shoving yourself under an imagined umbrella of your construction, hurting us in the shove, and then screaming like you were forced in here.

"but it's a--" listen.

listen to me.

you might think i'm being obstinant and maybe i am a little! but i'm trying to illuminate a point here. you've constructed an idea in your head of "us" as a monolith, a singular group that you want covered by a singular umbrella with a singular term; and you've decided that this "us" group - including you - is who i'm talking about right now, and then you've gotten shitty at me for using a word you don't like for an idea you projected over my words.

but here's the secret: there is no singular group like that. there is no monolith. there is no singular cohesive "us". there's just people, individuals with infinite experiences and selves and sexualities and genders and loves and all these beautiful things, and sometimes when we're similar enough we band together into groups and pick labels; gay, trans, queer, rainbow, whatever. these are just names, names for imagined groups, imagined groups with fake made up boundaries! people will argue there are definitions, gay means this, lesbian means that; but people will always disagree, so the names expand and the groups get broader. msm, wlw, bi, pan, genderqueer, rainbow quiltbag alphabet soup!

and you can expand and contact and refine and broaden but you will never cover everyone. at some point, you have to just accept letting people self define, and decide if they want to be in the group. if you have a "gay" group, the socially straight msm will get shitty at being called gay and it's not the fault of either the gays or the word "gay" that they're not included! people will expand and stretch and redefine and shrink, all these groups and labels will ebb and flow as different people have different needs and want to include - and exclude!- different people for their communities.

but some of "us", many generations ago, got sick and tired of constantly redefining labels and groups and decided to pick a nice word for ourselves and welcome anyone who liked it to use it, and that's queer. maybe it was already a slur that we reclaimed, maybe it was already our word before it became a slur, maybe it was just common slang for someone a little unusual and oddball and we liked that! historians both academic and communal disagree! it doesn't even matter, it's our word; "our" being anyone who likes it. if you like "queer" and want to be queer and respect the existing queers, you're welcome. and generation after generation, we pass it on for anyone to use, to say: it's okay not to box yourself in, it's okay not to define yourself down to the molecule, it's okay to be free, to come and go, to love and be whatever. it's our sanctuary. you are queer if you want to be queer. that is the gift that was given to me by the queers that came before me, i will gift it in turn to anyone that wants to carry it forwards. not everyone has to be queer, but we chose to be.

and you motherfuckers.

you motherfuckers keep smashing through the windows of our sanctuary, declaring it to be your umbrella, scream about slurs like we've never been hurt in our lives, and then hurl violence and vitriol at us because you personally hate being inside our sanctuary and want the entire structure destroyed and rebuilt for you.

fuck you.

i suffered through years of torment and abuse being called gay and having it spat at me with hate, being berated in church for questioning love, being screamed at and beaten by family and classmates and having them spit - literally - the word gay at me. i suffered through it, i survived it, i flourished to spite it and was embraced by queers who taught me love for myself and gave me safe sanctuary in this beautiful, ambiguous word, and you don't get to take that away from me.

if i say "us queers" and you come at me about how it hurts you and start yelling about umbrellas and slurs: 1) i wasn't fucking talking about you, 2) you're not part of my community and don't get to tell me what i call it, and 3) you are the fucking problem here, you are the one doing the hurting right now.

when you come into my community of queers and tell me that our sanctuary is "a slur", you are indistinguishable to me from the people spitting "gay" as they beat me.

if you're gay as in happy, you're free to be that and i won't stop you or tell you your whole core is a slur. you pick whatever umbrella you want to imagine for yourself, and i'll probably chose not to stand under it.

because i am queer. as in fuck. you.

and you will have to kill me to stop me being queer

[inkplotkey]

for the character ask: Penguin (gotham) Haida (aggretsuko and steve (stranger things)

Yay thank you so much!!! <3

Penguin:

First impression: Well I think I was excited that Penguin was already in the first episode, but I had no idea how big role he was going to have, I just hoped he would be in lot of episodes (I wasn’t let down, haha!). I remember being excited that he was young and working at a club. He seemed a bit meek maybe? I was like “please Penguin, don’t whack at that man with a club, you’re better than that” xD Impression now: Woow he can endure like anything?! Also in season 4 I didn’t like him in the beginning so much as he seemed a bit too bureaucratic etc. I like him better when he is more in action or when he has been an underdog for a while and then triumphs, haha. Also I like when he is on Jim’s side. His season 1 haircut is the best. 

Favorite moment: Oh there are so many since he is in like every episode! I really like the scene where he says to the mayor who thinks has outsmarted him and has Penguin surrounded by gunmen: “Oh you are always one step ahead... never three!” and other gunmen are pointing at Mayor James and his gunmen, haha. I like how in some extra materials it’s said like he is like a chess player and thinks his moves a lot beforehand. But sometimes (lol well often) the emotions get best of him, fascinating combo for a bad guy. There are so many other scenes but this reply would just become too long if I listed them all! Okay, I gotta say that I just love Penguin and Butch’s bamf entry with the bazooka.

Idea for a story: Something about him having bad Arkham flashbacks or something activated in his mind/more Hugo Strange experimenting, I remember there being a hint of that in season 2 and it never got answered in the series?! Story would involve Ed! Also a story about him and Fish, maybe the early days? Unpopular opinion: Hmm not sure do I have any unpopular opinions of him. He was a better mayor than James or Galavan lol! 

Favorite relationship: With him and Ed being pals and partners! And him aiding Jim, they make an interesting duo. Also Penguin with Selina is hilarious. And him and Butch. And of course him and Fish Mooney. Favorite headcanon: He kills a tailor if they make a bad suit for him. Hmm not sure is that my favorite headcanon, it just popped in my mind. Also he seems like a person that forgets to eat. I feel like Ed is like this too (well he basically dissects his lunch lol), what a disaster couple xD They would be more docile if they ate more, haha. Haida: 

First impression: Hmm I am not sure did I have any first impression, probably a surprise there was a hyena character in anime. Also he seemed like he was trying to be “cool” but not succeeding. Impression now: The best fluffball of misery ever, poor Haida! He’s a good guy. I feel so bad for him! He’s my fave. Favorite moment: I like his shy moments so much. 

Idea for a story: Haida getting laid off from the work due the company not doing good enough and he being unable to tell that to Retsuko and Fenneko and then they one day wonder why Haida is not at work.... ;__; I’d love to write/read such a fic. Unpopular opinion: I would have liked to see what had happened if he had punched Tadano xD Favorite relationship: With him and Retsuko, hehe. Also i kinda loved it when he teamed up with Gori and Washimi, I’d like to see him becoming friends with them and Retsuko not knowing this.Favorite headcanon: He would like to do something creative for a living. He starts some sport hobby secretly to become more buff, haha.  

Steve:

First impression: Ugh, an asshole.Impression now: Awesome best character ever best babysitter so funny so random best friend of Dustin yayyyy Scoops ahoy!Favorite moment: Like so many good moments in season 3 especially. And when he gives advice and encouragement to Dustin in season 2. Also love the bit in season 2 when he yells to the the arguing boys “come help me, all i see who is helping me is this random girl” (Max) or something like that. Cracks me up so badly. Idea for a story: Ooh so many story ideas....! Steve feeling left out/dumb because the kids and Nancy&Jonathan are all so smart and at the rental place the nerd Keith is picking up on him. Angst/hurt/comfort of course! Unpopular opinion: I don’t know what is in or out in Stranger things fandom. I don’t like Steve/Billy ship at all. Too many fics with that ship. Favorite relationship: Steve and Dustin as best bros! And friendship with Robin! Favorite headcanon: He spends a lot of time with Dustin, they watch videos together and have sleepovers at Dustin’s place. Also that Nancy is still surprised about the change in Steve and seeing him more interested hanging out with kids than trying to date girls. 

Yay this was so much fun, thanks for the great asks! :D 

[skythegogglehead]

Pearl, Connie, and Rose :3

Pearl - Name five things you love about yourself and your personality and five things you hate

Oh fuckle my shuckle uhhhhhhmmmmm…….I guess I like my hair? lol And I like the fact I can play guitar and ukulele, I can somewhat draw things, I can sing kind of, and I have strong determination(ya know when depression isn’t such a huge road block). Just 5 things? I could name more but ok lol. I don’t like my size(height and weight), I don’t like how clingy/needy I am, I don’t like how I’m such a coward and can never move forward in some things(I’m working on it very slowly though so that’s a good sign), I hate how quick I am to quit, and I don’t like how I make so many mistakes. And I mean MANY. I fuck up SO damn much. It’s unbelievable.

Connie - What are/were you like as a student? In which subjects do/did you have difficulties? Which do/did you love?

From preschool up until freshman in high school, I was fucking pro at school. Straight As to As and Bs, I was a really good student. The teachers used to say that it looked like I already knew how to do certain things and knew about certain subjects and whatever they told me to do, I’d do it. They told me I was a very gifted child. NOW however, -cough- hmm well it’s a bit….different lol. I have a GPA of a C+ now and I am god awful at school. I’m in college and I have dropped many classes as well as even failed 2. I tend to have the most difficulty in history, government, and economy subjects and the like. I have always excelled at science(more specifically biology subjects), used to be English but not anymore, and yes even math. I was a wiz at math and I still like math but I have memory problems so I cannot do as well anymore.

Rose - Name your favorite animals and plants. Do you have any pets or plants?

I love all kinds of animals :3 My favorite are foxes but I also really like other canines and felines. I also especially love raccoons. I really want a fox as a pet. I don’t know much about plants so I don’t really have a favorite unfortunately. I do have 2 pets currently, I have a dog named Maru, he’s a Shiba Inu and Pug mix, and a cat named Fluffy, we’re not sure what she is but we know she is mixed with Maine Coon. I don’t have any plants myself but there are a good amount of them in my house cause of my mom lol.

[stupidcupid06]

Why are we so obsessed with solving everything right now? I mean, I enjoy talking about what we would do in an ideal world as much as the next girl, but from what I’ve seen on this website, it seems like people get obsessed with building that perfect world with every solution and get into actual personal conflict over these wild hypotheticals.

I want people to understand that there will be problems in the future that you haven’t even dreamed of. Technology, society, religion, culture, and ideology will continue to interact and develop in absolutely unpredictable ways. You can absolutely try to prepare - but why get angry about it?

Progress may be slow. It may be fast. But don’t get angry at people for their weird hypotheticals. It’s really no different from your own. Take heart from the fact that everything changes. Watch the unpredictable waterfall of different events closely. In that unpredictability, we may be able to seize a real better world.

And that world will bring its own problems. Its own complications. Don’t delude yourself into believing that capital, heirarchy, or whatever else is the root of all suffering. It’s just the root of many problems in the world right now.

The future is completely unknowable. Isn’t that encouraging?

[stupidcupid06]

I think we have a problem with thinking in labels. Labels are (usually) invented as a way to simplify something and make it more palatable to someone who is not a member of a given group. They take some aspect of people, and make it easily definable.

Black: a person whose skin is dark. Trans: a person whose gender does not match their sex. Disabled: a person whose body impairs their ability to function in “normal society.”

And… these are all kind of nonsense definitions? They don’t really make much sense. It’s very subjective what level of dark makes one black, what counts as a gender that’s “different enough” from your sex (doubly so if you’re intersex), and what sort of impairment makes you “disabled enough.” Like, they very obviously don’t make much sense. What these definitions do, is allow people that are not of these groups to easily distinguish from “ins” and “outs” of a group. This isn’t necessarily a problem, because it does help them decide who they should listen to, but it leads to our first problem: outsiders gatekeeping a group they aren’t in. Lesson #1: don’t do that! If you aren’t a member of a group, the label is there as a shortcut, not a rule for you to enforce. (and while you’re at it, go kill the cop in your brain).

Significant problems come when members of these groups start to think in labels. What I mean is, trans people selecting who is a trans person based on “how different” their gender is from their sex. This becomes a problem quickly, leading to exclusionary communities which don’t include all people who suffer from the oppression directed at their own group.

Thinking in labels isn’t all bad, to be clear. There’s a good reason why things like microlabels have been created in the queer community: they help people find others with similar experiences to empathize with them. And communities do need some way to avoid bad actors who aren’t members of their own marginalized group, after all.

But I think that we need to stop thinking in labels and start thinking in descriptions instead. Descriptions aren’t terribly longer or more complicated than labels. When you say, “this is a community for lesbians,” does that mean women who are attracted to women? Enbies and women who are attracted to women? Anyone who identifies with the lesbian label? Or something else? You don’t have to spell it out immediately, but it’s important that you’re clear. Labels, being the broad-strokes brushes that they are, don’t catch many who slide between the cracks. Descriptions, clear and concise, are much kinder to those around you.

[stupidcupid06]

There was a kid in an elementary school near here who quite literally had the superintendent called on him because, rather than listen to the teacher, he would pull out his phone, put on some porn, and start masturbating. I would guesstimate that he was in 3rd grade? But I heard about this secondhand from a school board member who was also present, so my details might be a bit messy.

As it turned out, it wasn’t a result of any kind of abuse. This kid was just entering puberty earlier than a lot of kids do. And NO ONE in that class ever listened to their teacher, so he wasn’t unique in that regard. The superintendent had a conversation with him about what was appropriate in a “public” space like a classroom and went on her way.

What I’m saying is, kids can do whatever the fuck they want. And “stages of development” are just approximations, if that. We need to stop applying strict rules to what kids do when, because each individual is unique and develops differently. Meet kids where they are at. (To be clear, I don’t take issue with OP’s language, since they said “tend to”)

I’m going to go off-topic below the cutoff:

Because these sorts of labels are bullshit (and for many other reasons) I do think our current educational system is bullshit. One way that’s often not discussed is sexual education curriculums. I think a lot of people see them as great things and they aren’t…bad. But I think there’s a couple major issues with them:

Sex ed often winds up lumping gender in there, telling kids that sex and gender are inherently related, which I just don’t think is really true. Sex ed teachers are often unqualified to talk about gender issues because, they’re just cis people with a curriculum lol.

Sex ed often winds up being uncomfortable for asexual (sex-repulsed) students, and exclusions from classes are only given with parental permission (something I myself was unable to secure).

Sex ed curriculums are WAY more strictly enforced than most other curriculums, and are extremely academic. Teaching kids how to use a condom correctly and the parts of the penis in the same class is kind of…nonsense? And it makes it easy for kids to check out during the parts that actually matter for them.

I don’t have the answer to all of these problems… but I think its worth putting sex ed into the main curriculum, at least, and letting teachers choose how they teach it. That’s how education has always expanded - by teachers sharing and experimenting with different teaching methods.

Counter argument: outside of abuse situations, most children *don't* seek out or explore sexuality, that's why it's considered a sign of abuse if they do. This just really reads like someone trying to convince others that it's good and okay to molest kids under the guide of 'teaching them about their bodies'.

objectively untrue; it is entirely normal for children as young as toddlers to masturbate, and children typically start puberty and become interested in understanding sexual concepts between the ages of 9 and 13. children between 13 and 18 tend to become actively, materially interested in sex to the point of actively seeking out both porn and sexual interactions with their peers.

this is extremely basic knowledge and the information about early childhood is standard fare in any course on early childhood development, to the point that attempting to "counter" it through a random anonymous message on a social media website comes across as deranged conspiracy theorist behavior. you are attempting the childhood development equivalent of convincing someone that essential oils cure cancer by sending them tumblr anons, and i'm honestly only answering this because i find it mildly amusing to showcase the level of scientific rigor (sarcasm) that we're dealing with here.

[inkplotkey]

Omggg how unexpected and lovely surprise! 😍❤️ Thank you dear ramblepal ❤️✨ Can I imagine he picked those roses for me? omg *blush*

jack in a rose bush for @bowlerhatduck

[thatdoodlebug]

Aha!! Praise your rain dance skillz with extra intensity! Love it ❤️

Hooray, finally we got some rain! This heatwave has made everything so dry.

[inkplotkey]

Happy New Year dear ramblepal!

i had an urge to draw sticky/wet bandits

first doodle of the new year!

HAVE A HAPPY ONE YOU FILTHY ANIMALS.