#ramadan is like 'no im gonna do my own thing and be out of step with everyone' and the jewish months are like 'we're gonna try to like half

[starlightomatic]

stupidest fanfic idea ever. ramadan is a serial monogamist who dumps sivan to be with iyar, and then dumps iyar to be with nisan, and then dumps nisan to be with adar

[sisterssafespace]

Asalamualaykum i hope you're well❤️. Once again i did something stupid. So im a very impulsive person tooo impulsive and it is really affect me deen wise. So last year i was attending concerts and other impermissible gatherings where music and alcohol and other drugs is and in those gatherings i would remove my niqab and hijab and wear things i shouldn't all because of my fmo and wanting to fit in with my non Muslim friends. I really cant help it especially when i feel pressured to attend. This year i told myself that i would not attend there was event that just passed it was supposed to be happening on Sunday and i told myself that i wouldn't get the tickets for it and i didn't. But there was event on Saturday and i went the whole of Saturday dodging my impulses to buy the tickets to go but then 2am Sunday morning i got tickets and went to the event (it ended at 5am) i compromised my deen again. My non Muslim friends were at both events and i mostly wanted to go to be with them both events. I am already someone who struggles with low emaan all the time. I dont pray ever because of procrastination and i do have the urge to i really do. The only time i prayed consistently ever was this year Ramadan and 2 months after. I had never felt so close to Allah and my deen than when i was praying consistently. I just feel so lost and that im destined for jahanam and i if carry on likes this there is no hope for me at all. I literally cannot to talk to anyone about this because im afraid of being judged by others and those close to me.

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu dear,

Sübhanallah you sounded very aware of the situation in your ask. Your words reflected someone who's mature enough and smart enough to know right from wrong. You are also fully aware of the consequences of your actions and that you are - in your own words - compromising your deen. The good thing is that the feeling of guilt or regret that you feel afterwards, the unpleasant feeling that settles in your gut, that actually shows that you have a pure heart, you have a good nature, a good fitrah, you just get carried away and you let shaytan manipulate you sometimes. See if you weren't a good girl and if you didn't love Allah swt, if you had completely gone astray then you wouldn't be feeling this way.

Now, what are you going to do about the situation? I feel like there are 3 major points, all of them have been discussed and mentioned before on this page in previous asks:

1) Do not despair of Allah's mercy. As long as we are still breathing, as long as there is still rooh in us, Allah's door is always open and we can always come back.

2) Recognize the shaytan's traps and stay away from them - close the door that will lead you to relapsing/ sinning

3) Strengthen your Eman with your daily remembrance ( adhkar ) and duaas: you need to shield yourself and protect yourself with reciting your morning and evening adhkar, as you will be asking Allah swt to protect you from all evil, from shaytan, to forgive you, to guide you. Adhkar are a believer's best friend. Once you commit to them you will definitely feel the change in your life even in the smallest details. There are apps that provide these adhkar with translation and the app would even notify you to remind you to recite them.

Listen my dear, you are a smart girl Allahuma barik, all you have to do is not act upon your impulses. And as an impulsive person myself, I know from the experience that the way to control that is to be one step ahead + Taqwa (awareness and consciousness of Allah swt). How? As for being one step ahead or let's call it prevention, you need to clean out your environment just like someone detoxing their body for them not to get sick or someone who's gonna start a diet so they clear out their kitchen and fridge from anything that's unhealthy and might be tempting. Like as a simple example, I would delete that app for the concerts/events.. which is related to point 2. And if the weekend is coming and you can anticipate that your friends will go out and invite you, prepare yourself to say no, practice saying no, or just straight up tell them that you can no longer associate with such environments! Because sweetie at the end of the day, the friends that are going to make you sin and are going to take you away from Allah swt are not your friends. But to be completely honest, I don't blame your friends, at the end of the day they're non-muslims, from their perspective there is nothing wrong with going to these events for them. It is your responsibility to stand up for what you believe and what you represent. I bet it is also very confusing for your friends to see as this Muslim girl who just removes her niqab and hijab ( and her beliefs) for a couple of hours to have fun?? I am so sorry to tell you that it reflects such a bad image of Islam, which is not what we are supposed to represent! I am trying to look for the softest way possible to tell you this but please never do that again! I know you might be wearing the hijab and the niqab for a different reason, maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe it's not your fault you don't understand their value, their meaning and their sacredness, maybe you didn't choose to wear them in the first place but please respect your hijab, and your niqab, please do not violate their sanctity by associating with alcohol and concerts. It is really painful to know you are going through this. I feel like we need to have a long conversation about the meaning of hijab and the reason why Muslim women choose to wear the niqab, about their meaning, about the mothers of the believers, about the sahabiyat who gave their lives for us to be walking around today in our hijabs, and why Islam in one word means to submit to Allah swt and obey His orders.

I don't want to make this too long for you, I just want you to know that I am not judging you, no human being is perfect, no muslim is pious enough or religious enough not to sin and not to make mistakes, we are all sinners in different ways, it is just Allah's mercy and setr that is covering us. But please sweetie, you sound like a mature young lady who can be responsible and can make good choices. So please make the right ones. In Islam Halal is clear and Haram is clear. There are no blurred lines. And if you are old enough to concerts alone and pay for them alone, then you are old enough to make the right decisions.

One last word: whatever you do, do not quit praying, it is the prayer that holds that string between you and Allah swt, it is the prayer that washes away the sins. May Allah swt accept from you.

I am sorry if anything I said came off as harsh. I hesitated for days before I could write this answer because I didn't want to be overly dramatic or come off as brutal 💔 May Allah swt guide us all. I pray that Allah swt forgive me the shortage of my answer. I wrote from the heart, in shaa Allah I managed to write what Allah swt had inspired me to convey. I pray from the bottom of my heart that Allah swt shows you right from wrong and guides your heart, ameen. Please stick to your adhkar, make istighfar as much as you can and send prayers upon Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as well.

Here are a couple of duaas you can recite in your sujud:

رَبَّنَا لَا تُزِغۡ قُلُوبَنَا بَعۡدَ إِذۡ هَدَيۡتَنَا وَهَبۡ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحۡمَةًۚ إِنَّكَ أَنتَ ٱلۡوَهَّابُ

Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy. Indeed, You are the Bestow.

يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك

Oh turner of the hearts, keep my heart steadfast upon your deen.

La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah 🥺.

- A. Z. 🍃🤍