#ralphtanic

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You

That's right kids, The Mystery Series is a Worth It AU! The players are the same, but the setting is the RMS Titanic in April 1912.

You don't have to have read Worth It to understand Live A Little, but I've sprinkled it with cameos and Easter eggs from the original series.

The biggest character difference is that You are now an American. Congrats! "Home" is a vague place that's probably somewhere in the northeast. You're still a twenty-something who loves Dad, disappoints Mom, and is bored by a boy named Donald.

There will be a happy ending. None of this "I'll never let go!" and then immediately letting go and watching your boy sink. Not on my watch.

Chapters will come out on the day they're set, and vary in length. Some days are more exciting than others!

I've been researching and writing this on and off for about a year. I'm sure you've all seen the 1997 movie, and images from that will be what I use for most of my headers. I'll also be using the occasional image from Titanic: Honor and Glory.

Bonus: Want to see the cabins You and Ralph are occupying?

CHAPTERS: December 1911 April 10, 1912 April 11, 1912 April 12, 1912 April 13, 1912 April 14, 1912 April 15, 1912 April 16, 1912 April 17, 1912 April 18, 1912 April 19, 1912

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You spend time on solid ground and in hot water! Words: 3.3k

Uncle Albert's car lurches to a stop in front of what can only be described as a mansion, and the driver jumps out with an umbrella. You don't see the point. You're already soaked to the bone. But Victoria clambers out, and he takes her to the door. The rest of you follow in the rain, rather than wait for him to return.

A host of servants scurry toward you with towels when you step inside.

"Is anyone hungry? Can I get you anything?" Uncle Albert asks, dripping on his own floor. Everyone declines. "Right! I suspect you've all had enough excitement for one night. It's after midnight, after all. How about I get you all into some dry clothes, and we'll put off the catching up until breakfast?" Without waiting for an answer, he continues, "Moira, please show each of our guests to a room, and ensure that all of their needs are met."

"Yes, sir," a woman in a uniform says with a curtsy. "If you'll all follow me, please?" You all trudge up the stairs behind her. Your soggy clothes weigh you down, making it seem like an endless trek.

"Mister Ralph and Miss Victoria, we've readied your bedrooms from your last visit," Moira says when you finally reach the second floor. Victoria takes off before she even finishes her sentence, but Ralph stays with you. "Ladies, your rooms are being prepared as we speak, and suitable sleepwear is on the way."

"We're married," Ralph says.

"Sir?"

"We're married," Ralph repeats, sliding his sopping arm around your shoulders possessively. "This one stays with me."

"Understood, sir," she smiles.

You look up at your soggy husband with adoration.

"Come on," Ralph says, starting to pull you down the hallway.

You look back at Molly, still standing with Moira.

"Go on, honey, get out of those wet clothes before you catch a chill. I'll see you in the morning."

You let Ralph lead you into a magnificent bedroom, where a fire crackles away. Ralph's pajamas are folded on the bed, and a maid arrives with yours seconds later.

Ralph closes the door, and you start stripping out of your wet clothes immediately. Ralph climbs into a pair of striped pajamas, and you slip a long gown over your head. It doesn't provide much warmth. You cross your arms and shiver. Ralph darts to the wardrobe and pulls out a robe, hurrying over to wrap you in it.

"Come," he says, leading you to the fireplace. You stand in front of the heat and lean against him. Eventually, you stop shivering.

A knock echoes through the room.

"Yes?" Ralph calls.

Moira brings in a tea tray.

"Thought you might like to warm up with a cup of tea before bed. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, thank you."

She gathers your wet clothes and leaves. You wrap your arms around Ralph's waist and rest your head against his shoulder.

"Tea?" he asks.

You shake your head.

"Just a little bit, to warm you up inside?"

"Alright," you agree. You know better than to argue with an Englishman about tea.

He pours and brings your cups to the fire, and you drink half of yours.

"Bed?" he offers, when you set your cup on the mantel.

You nod, eyelids getting heavy.

"Come on," he chuckles, downing the rest of his own tea in one gulp and leading you to the bed. He pulls back the covers, gestures for you to go first, and you crawl into the biggest bed you've ever been in.

"Ralph, this bed is so massive, I fear I may lose you in it."

"Never fear, my dear," he whispers, scooting closer and holding you tight. "Your Ralph is here."

You chuckle and melt into him.

"I love you," you mumble, already drifting off in the comfortable bed with the clean blankets and your warm husband.

"I love you too, darling."

The morning comes too soon.

You've both been awake for a while, and would be perfectly happy to just lie in your warm bed and enjoy each other's company all day.

Moira has other ideas.

"Good morning! I've brought you both some fresh clothes to change into!" She hangs them off the back of a chair. "Brunch will be served at 12:00. You have time for a bath, if you'd like!"

She leaves, and you both sigh.

"A bath does sound nice," you admit.

"Hm," Ralph hums, lifting his head to look at the clock. "I don't think we both have time."

"That's alright," you smile. "You go ahead."

"Nonsense," Ralph scoffs. "We'll save time by bathing together, of course."

"Brilliant idea, Mr. Penbury," you laugh. "I'm ashamed I didn't think of it myself."

"Quite alright, darling," he assures you with a pat to your hand. "We are new at this, you know."

You laugh again and get out of bed, following Ralph into the nearest bathroom. The water is already running, and has half-filled the claw-footed tub. Moira must've known Ralph wouldn't be able to resist.

You slip your gown off, and Ralph drops his pajamas on the floor. He turns off the water and steps into the tub, sitting down and holding out his hand for you. You take it and step over the side. You sink down into the warm water, sitting between Ralph's legs and leaning your head against his chest.

You both sigh happily when you're settled. You close your eyes, enjoying the warmth seeping into your bones as you wait for the water to still. It's the best you've felt in days.

"I don't think I'll ever get in water deeper than this again," Ralph mourns.

"We can have lots of fun in water this deep," you tease. You reach up to place a water droplet on his nose with your wet finger.

"Oh?" he asks, leaning down to nibble your ear.

"Most definitely," you assure him, sitting up to look him in the eye. "But not today, Mr. Penbury. There simply isn't time." You reach out to a nearby shelf to grab a bar of soap. "And you're much too filthy."

Ralph pouts, but lets you wash him. He returns the favor. By the time you're both clean and dressed in your borrowed clothes, you have to rush downstairs to make it to brunch in time.

Aunt Molly is already at the table with Uncle Albert, chatting like they're old friends. She's also wearing clothes that aren't hers. You want to ask where he acquired them on such short notice, but the food arrives as soon as you do, and it proves to be quite a distraction.

"I've called your house," your aunt informs you during a coffee refill. "And your parents are gone. The maid says they've come down here to find you."

"Oh," you breathe.

"So," Uncle Albert begins, "I've reached out to a few friends, and they're on the lookout for them. If your parents are located, they'll be brought here for a reunion."

"Thank you," you smile, feeling the nervousness set in.

"And it's going to be one hell of a reunion," your aunt laughs. She looks to you, and her face turns serious. "Remember what I said about me needing to be there when you break the news?"

"The news?" Uncle Albert asks.

"My darling niece is supposed to be marrying some stuffy lawyer when she gets back home," your aunt explains with a wicked grin on her face. "Only, she's come home hitched to a fancy English lad instead."

Uncle Albert's booming laugh echoes through the room.

You busy yourself with your plate, and Ralph does the same.

"Alright," Uncle Albert says eventually, when you've eaten your fill. "Tell me everything."

You and Ralph look at each other uneasily, and then take turns telling your story, starting with the night you met. Aunt Molly listens intently as well, having missed a bit herself.

Ralph is explaining the officer who told him to get in the lifeboat when Victoria saunters in, stretching and yawning and still in her pajamas.

"Uncle, if I'd known what kind of rags you had for me to wear, I'd have jumped overboard to save myself the humiliation." She slumps into a chair and surveys the leftover food with a pout. "And you didn't even wait for me."

"You are two hours late," Uncle Albert notes, with a look to the clock. He calls for Moira, and instructs her to fetch a fresh plate for Victoria.

"And what of those rags?" Victoria whines.

"New York has some of the finest shopping in the world, my dear!" Her uncle announces.

Victoria sniffs.

"Ralph, do continue," Aunt Molly says.

"I don't really remember much after that," Ralph admits quietly, glancing at Victoria. "They lowered the boat and we waited. When we got to the ship, we slept."

"I can attest to that," Aunt Molly smiles. "Poor babies."

"That bloody boat was so crowded," Victoria complains. "And nothing but women complaining."

Molly raises an eyebrow at Victoria, but she doesn't notice. Hadn't they been on the same boat? A maid rushes in with a steaming plate for Victoria, and another comes to refill your cups.

"Uncle," Victoria says. "I've lost my maid. Might I have one of yours during my stay?"

"How did you lose your maid?" her uncle asks.

"She went to the purser's office to retrieve my jewels and never returned," Victoria shrugs. "Filthy tramp, I bet she stole them. Do you know how long it's going to take me to rebuild that collection? I won't be able to properly accessorize for ages! I'll look like… her."

Victoria cuts her eyes at you, and you wonder how sharp your butter knife is.

"Would you shut up?"

Everyone's heads snap toward Ralph.

"You are, without a doubt, the worst person that I have ever met.

"Surely you're not speaking to me this way!" Victoria squawks.

"Damn right, I am." His fists clench. "You have no regard for anyone but yourself. Have you thought at all about the people who didn't make it into a boat? Or their families? Of course not. You don't care about anyone. You left the person who's been taking care of you for three years to die over jewelry!"

"And money!" Victoria adds, like it matters.

"You're a disgrace to the Penbury name," Ralph seethes. "And if you ever speak ill of my wife again, I'll tell Mother what really happened to Fluffy. You remember Fluffy, don't you? Sweet little dog that got more attention than you?"

Victoria's eyes bulge.

"I wonder if that would have any impact your inheritance?" Ralph ponders, eyes narrowed.

"Uncle, are you going to let him threaten me like this?" she shrieks.

Uncle Albert sips his coffee silently. Victoria shrieks, knocks over her chair in her hurry to get out of it, and stomps out of the room.

When her footsteps fade, you place your hand over one of Ralph's balled fists. He looks to you and smirks. You're so proud of him.

The doorbell rings, pulling everyone from their thoughts. A moment later, the butler announces that your parents have arrived.

You hadn't realized you were so eager to be reunited with them until you find yourself rushing to the entrance hall. You nearly leap into your father's embrace, closing your eyes and squeezing him tight.

"Are you alright?" he asks quietly. You nod, still not ready to let him go. You've been abroad for months, after all, and you haven't seen him since he took you to the train station. When you finally pull yourself away, you realize your mother is standing there impatiently.

"Mother," you greet awkwardly. She's never been the type for physical affection. And then a figure steps out from behind her. "Donald?"

"Hello, my sweet," he says, grabbing your hand and bending to kiss the back of it.

You stare at him in horror. You'd thought of breaking the news to your parents, but you were not at all ready to have this discussion with him! Here! In the house of the man you married instead!

"Well, if it ain't my favorite sister," Aunt Molly smirks from the doorway behind you, leaning into her southern-isms for spite. Ralph and Uncle Albert stand on either side of her. "Howdy." Your mother bristles. "Don't you have some introductions to make, honey?"

She is enjoying this far too much.

"Mother, Father, this is our host, Mr. Albert Penbury. He's the gentleman who sent for you."

Your father steps forward to shake his hand and thank him for taking care of his daughter and sister-in-law.

"And this is Ralph Penbury," you smile, only for him, and reach for his hand. He reluctantly steps forward and takes it. "My husband."

Your mother's eye twitches.

"Your what?" she asks.

"My husband," you repeat, holding onto Ralph's hand for dear life.

Murder flashes through your mother's eyes. You can see her blood pressure rise. The vein in her forehead begins to pulsate.

"Ralph, it's a pleasure to meet you," your father says, stepping forward. Ralph lets your hand go to shake your father's. Donald stands there looking dumb and dull, as usual. "Might we have a moment alone with our daughter, please?"

"There's a sitting room just through here," Uncle Albert offers, rushing forward to open the door. Your father thanks him, and holds the door open for your mother.

"C'mon, Don, tell an old lady how you've been," your aunt grins, hooking an arm through Donald's and leading him back to the dining room. Ralph follows hesitantly, shooting you a scared look. You wink at him, then follow your parents into the sitting room. They're not sitting.

"You are engaged," your mother seethes, as soon as you close the door.

"No," you smile. "I'm married."

"What do you mean, married?"

"I mean, a minister said some words, then Ralph and I exchanged some vows, and then we all signed some papers that say we're married."

"It was done under duress," she says to your father. "We'll have it annulled."

"It was not," you argue, "and you will not."

"He's swindled her somehow, taken advantage of her in her fragile state, she's not making any sense," she insists, still ignoring you.

"She can hear you," you remind her, "and Mother? You're in his uncle's house. Does it look like the Penburys need to do any kind of swindling to get by?"

"You," she growls, finger in your face. "Are marrying Donald Andrews this summer, just like I planned. I do not know who this boy is, and I do not care." She turns to your father. "Get rid of him."

"She's an adult," your father signs. "She's made her choice, and there's nothing we can do about it." He turns to you. "You love him?"

"Yes."

"This is really what you want?"

"Yes."

"Then that's that."

"THAT," your mother spits, "is NOT that!"

"If you like Donald so much, why don't you marry him?" you propose. Her palm cracks across your cheek. You stare defiantly, feeling a little satisfied that you've made her resort to violence like a commoner.

"Enough," your father says, staring her down. "We are going in there to properly meet our son-in-law and his family. And if you cannot be pleasant, you will be silent."

You can't wait to tell Aunt Molly about this.

"And you?" he rounds on you. "You owe Donald an explanation. Stay here. I'm sending him in."

"Alright," you agree.

Your father reaches out to take your mother's arm, but she jerks away from him and leaves the room. He heaves a sigh and follows. You drop into a chair and wait for Donald.

"You wanted to see me?" he asks, peeking his head into the room.

"Yes," you smile, gesturing toward a chair. "Take a seat."

He sits. He blinks. You search for words. How does one tell their fiancé that they've married someone else?

"Donald, I…"

"Where's my engagement ring?" he interrupts.

Perhaps this will be easier than you thought.

"It's in my jewelry box at home. Nancy will get it for you."

"Right," he says, getting up. "I suppose we're done here."

"I suppose we are," you say cautiously, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Tears, threats, a violent outburst, anything?

Donald leaves the room, and you get up to follow. He walks out the front door without a word. You stand there and laugh in disbelief. Could it really be that easy?

You shake your head and return to the dining room, where everyone sits around the table with a cup of tea. You slide into the chair next to Ralph.

"Where's our sweet Donny-boy?" your aunt grins.

"Gone," you say simply.

"Gone?" Ralph asks.

"Gone," you confirm, reaching for his hand under the table. You focus on the love in Ralph's eyes, and not the steam billowing from your mother's ears.

Your parents stay for tea, while you and Molly recap your adventures, but decline the dinner invitation so they can catch the last train home. Your mother remains silent, except for a very forced "thank you" to Uncle Albert when he helps her put on her coat.

You and Ralph see your parents to the door. You plan to walk out to the car with them, now that the rain has let up, but the butler advises against it.

"Journalists, Mrs. Penbury. They've gathered everywhere they suspect a survivor is staying, hoping for an exclusive story. The vultures practically chased Miss Victoria down the street on her way to go shopping."

You nod in understanding and hug your father one last time before he goes.

"When are you coming home?" he asks.

"When it's safe," you whisper.

"From her, or from the press?" he mumbles.

You laugh, and he kisses your forehead. He and Ralph share a goodbye handshake and a few quiet words. When the butler opens the door, your mother rushes out of it. Your father gives you a knowing look, then follows.

You and Ralph peek through the curtains, watching journalists yell questions at your parents. A photographer snaps a photo of the house, and you drop the curtain and step back.

"How long do you think this will last?" you ask.

"I don't know," Ralph admits.

Molly and Albert both laugh loudly from the other room.

"God help us at Christmastime, if those two team up," you grin.

Ralph laughs and drapes an arm across your shoulders.

"Well, Mrs. Penbury," he begins, walking you toward the stairs. "You've seen the world, fallen in love, survived a shipwreck, and broken the news of a broken engagement to both a former beau and your terrifying mother. What will you do next?"

"That's a good question, Mr. Penbury. Are you looking for an official statement?" He nods. You place a finger to your chin, like you're pondering as you ascend the stairs. "I think, in light of my brush with death, I'd like to live a little. Have adventures. Enjoy the finer things in life."

"Might I have an example?" he asks, eyes sparkling as you walk down the hall.

"Of course," you smile. "I believe my next adventure will take me to bed, with my darling husband."

"And what will you do there?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow as he opens the bedroom door.

"Mr. Penbury, what kind of salacious publication are you running?!"

Ralph throws his head back and laughs. You grin and pull him inside, and he kicks the door closed behind him.

The girl had lived a little, as she'd set out to do… but her life didn't truly start until she found someone to love a lot.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph spend one last day on the Carpathia! Words: 2k

"Hey, kids?"

You slowly blink yourself awake and lift your head to see your aunt sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I've heard we're supposed to arrive in New York tonight. You should get up and move around a bit before then, remind those muscles what their job is."

You sigh and lie back down, on your back, to stare at the ceiling.

"If we get in tonight, it'll be late. We'll get a hotel room 'til morning, then try to find your mother and father. The wireless operators sent out a list of survivors for the papers, so I expect the place will be crawling with relatives and reporters. Ralph?"

"Yes, ma'am?" he answers.

"You're welcome to come with us."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"But you should find your sister and make sure she's alright, too. She's around here somewhere."

"Yes, ma'am."

"They're serving breakfast in the dining hall now. Take a right at the end of this hallway and keep walking, you can't miss it." She gets up and makes her way to the door. "I'll meet you back here before dinner?"

You nod in agreement, and she leaves. A moment of silence passes, and then you feel Ralph reach for your hand. You lace your fingers together and let out a collective sigh. He turns to face you with a twinkle in his eye.

"May I escort you to breakfast, Mrs. Penbury?"

You face splits into a grin, and you lean over to give your husband a kiss.

Half an hour later, you sit as close as the chairs in the dining hall allow, and eat your first meal as a married couple quietly.

You know your parents will eventually adjust. Aunt Molly will probably ask what took you so long when she finds out. Ralph's father is gone, and he expects his mother won't care. Neither of you gives a damn about Victoria's opinion on the matter.

"I suppose we ought to go find Victoria after breakfast," Ralph sighs, as if he can read your thoughts.

"What will you say to her?"

You haven't forgotten the way she treated him that night at the lifeboats. Or the games she'd played with him all his life. You haven't spent much time discussing her, but you suspect you've only scratched the surface of the awful things she's done to him.

"I don't know," he admits. "Do we tell her that we're married?"

"If you like," you smile. "Do you think she'll fling herself overboard in protest?"

He grins wickedly, drains the last of his tea, and you embark on your journey to find Victoria.

Ralph holds your hand as you walk the ship you'd been on for four days, seeing it for the first time. It feels different than exploring Titanic. There was an air of fun to it, then. This feels wrong somehow. Knowing that you and your loved ones had made it off of the other ship safely, while so many others were mourning for those they'd lost. You, who has just married the love of your life, and have a future together to look forward to. How many dreams had been sucked down into the depths with that ship?

Ralph seems to sense it too. He holds your hand tightly, and wastes no time scanning each room for his sister. He doesn't stop moving until you arrive in an open area with children playing.

"Is that Katie?" he asks, squinting.

"Who's Katie?"

"Victoria's maid."

He stares at a young woman on the other side of the room, showing a group of children how to make figures with their fingers and a loop of string. She laughs with them, but when she looks up to see Ralph, the color drains from her face.

She gives the string to one of the children and rises, walking toward Ralph like a prisoner to an execution.

"I'll be right back, love," he says quickly, going to meet her halfway. You watch their interaction with curiosity, and a bit of fear. How could anyone be afraid of Ralph? Is there a side to him that you haven't seen yet? Your doubts are short-lived, because Katie's fearful eyes crinkle in a smile after a few words from him. They talk for a moment more, laugh together, and part with what are clearly well-wishes.

"Katie's been hired as a nanny," Ralph says excitedly upon his return. "Victoria told her not to bother coming back until she'd reclaimed everything from the purser's office. It was closed, so Katie took that as a dismissal and boarded a lifeboat. She entertained the children through the night, and a nice American family has asked her to stay on with them. She already loves the children. I'm so happy for her!"

"So am I," you smile. Katie returns to the children, and a little boy runs to her and extends his arms. She picks him up in a hug and swings him around. One of the children on the floor tugs at her skirt, and she kneels to show them the string trick again. They watch in awe. "That looks way more fun than taking orders from Victoria," you wink.

"She's managed to avoid Victoria thus far, and has asked me not to tell her that she's here," Ralph explains. He takes one last look at Katie, a proud smile on his face, and leads you to the door.

"Would she care?" you ask.

"Only because she'd expect to be waited on," he says with a roll of his eyes as you proceed to the next room. "I feel terrible for not making sure that Katie was safe that night."

"Darling, I believe you were a tiny bit preoccupied that night. I seem to recall something about a frightened woman who wouldn't let go of your hand?"

He smiles and kisses your temple, and the search for Victoria continues.

You finally spot her in a lounge, surrounded by the girlfriends you'd spent the first part of your week trying to avoid.

"Victoria," Ralph says stiffly, when you approach from behind.

"Oh, there you are, Ralph," she says with a glance back at him. "Some old lady told me that you were here."

You bristle, at both her reaction to finding out that her brother was alive and her assessment of your aunt.

"I've been bored out of my skull," she whines. "There's nothing to do on this bloody boat." She hangs her head off the back of her chair, and her eyes land on you. She smirks. "No need to ask what you've been up to."

Ralph tenses. You glare.

"What will you do when we arrive in New York?" he asks.

"Find a bottle of decent champagne," she grins, still upside-down. "And get Uncle Albert to buy me a new wardrobe."

Ralph watches her for a moment, calculating. She rolls her eyes when she gets sick of the staring contest and sits up.

"Alright," he finally says. He squeezes your hand and turns, and you follow.

"Where are you going, baby brother?" she pouts.

"To enjoy the company of my wife," he calls over his shoulder, not slowing his pace. You grin, imagining the look of shock on her snobby face when she works out what he's said.

Deciding you'd had enough exercise for the day, you return to your room. You sit on the bed and ponder the what comes next. What will the weather be like when you arrive? Will there be a media frenzy? Will Ralph's uncle be there waiting? What about your parents? How will you find them? How long until you can go home?

Pain flashes across Ralph's face at the mention of home.

"What is it, Ralph?" you ask, scooting closer.

"I'll have to cross the Atlantic again to get home," he whimpers. "What if I never stop being afraid? What if I can never go home again?" Ralph lets out a sob, and covers his face with his hands.

"Then we'll make our own home." You pull him to you, and he buries his face in your neck. "It's a big continent, Ralph. We'll go exploring and find a perfect place, just for us. Anywhere you want. Because home is wherever we're together."

You rub soothing circles on his back until he sits up with a final sniffle. You reach out to dry his cheeks.

"I love you, Ralph."

"I love you, too," he mutters.

"We're going to be alright."

He nods. You hold out your hand, and he takes it with a shaky smile. You lace your fingers together and squeeze. Everything is going to be alright, as long as you have each other.

You decide to skip lunch, but join Molly for dinner. She's made lots of new friends these last few days, and invites you to sit at a table full of other survivors. Mostly women. You can feel their eyes on your Ralph. It unsettles you both. You eat quickly, speak only when spoken to, and retreat back to your room as soon as possible. You sit on the bed, because there are no chairs.

Aunt Molly comes in right behind you, before you can discuss the awkward dinner, and perches on the edge of her own bed.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "Most of their men didn't make it. The officers wouldn't let them in the boats."

Ralph turns red.

"There were no more women in line," you argue. "The officer told him to get in. There were a several men on our boat. In others, too!"

"I know, don't go jumping down my throat," she says, putting her hands up. "I'm just telling you why you're getting odd looks."

Ralph's face is on fire.

"I can't wait to get off this ship," you mutter, blinking away tears. You will not feel guilty for getting to keep your love, even if others weren't so fortunate.

"Should be there in a few hours," she says softly. "I'm going back to the lounge to wait for news. I'll come get you as soon as we get there."

She gets up and heads toward the door.

"Aunt Molly?" you call.

She turns back, hand on the doorknob.

"We got married last night."

She smiles. "That's exactly the kind of good news I needed to hear. Congratulations."

You both mutter a "thank you", and her eyes light up.

"Oh, your mother's head is going to explode," she says excitedly. "Your payment for the trip will be making sure I'm there when you tell her. I have to see this. This is going to be more fun than hand-delivering the invitation to my own wedding!"

You laugh, and Molly winks. "I'll see you kids in a few hours."

When the door closes, you look to Ralph and grin.

"You know, Mr. Penbury…" you say mischievously. "My aunt has stated her intention to be away for several hours. I do believe that gives us time to officially consummate our marriage."

"It does, doesn't it?" he grins, eyes darkening.

"Unless you have a better way to spend our last few hours here?"

"Absolutely not," he says, mouth crashing against yours.

You were officially consummated and back to presentable when your aunt returned to the cabin to fetch you that night.

You wait in the lounge with the other first class survivors for what feels like an eternity. When you finally start moving, things become a blur. You hold tightly to Ralph's hand and follow him blindly through the pouring rain and the slippery walkways. You keep your head down, only vaguely aware of a large crowd on the dock and a lot of flashing cameras.

"Ralph!" Victoria's unmistakable voice cuts through the chaos. "Uncle Albert is here!"

Ralph shouts for Aunt Molly ahead of him, and the three of you make your way over to Victoria and Uncle Albert. Quick introductions are made, and Ralph's uncle leads you to a motorcar. You end up sitting on Ralph's lap. Aunt Molly and Victoria sit side by side, and Ralph's uncle sits up front with his driver.

The cameras continue flashing. You're grateful when the car begins to move. You look down at Ralph and reach out to wipe the raindrops off of his face. You're all soaked and shivering. The ride passes slowly and in silence, even with Victoria present. Apparently all her girlfriends were on their own. Had she even said goodbye to them?

You watch the buildings of New York pass by through the window, thankful to be back on solid ground with the people you love.

(And Victoria.)

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph venture out of your cabin! Words: 1.3k

You wake to the sound of angry whispers.

"It's not proper!"

"Those kids have been through Hell together!"

"They're not married!"

Ralph's eyes open. You hold your breath and listen closely, watching each other beneath the covers and not daring to move a muscle.

"And?"

"And it's despicable! Having to share a room with… with…"

"With my niece, and the boy who saved her life?"

"I thought you said his sister was on board! Send him there, or back to the lounge!"

"My girl wouldn't leave that boy to get on a boat and save her own life, and you think she's going to let him go because you said so?"

A proud smile spreads across your face. You knew Aunt Molly would always be on your side.

"Ugh!" The other woman groans in frustration, and you hear the door open.

"If you think for one minute that I'm--" Molly shuts the door, and your eavesdropping is abruptly cut off.

"She's got it wrong," Ralph whispers. "You're the one who saved me."

"Aunt Molly is never wrong," you smile.

"Then perhaps we'll have to agree to disagree."

"That won't do," you argue, reaching out to cup the side of his face. "Because we saved each other."

You're already close, but you both move your faces forward just a tiny bit for a kiss.

The door closes again.

"Food's here, kids! I let you sleep through dinner last night, but I draw the line at missing breakfast."

Aunt Molly sits on her bed and tells you about how the other survivors are being treated by the generous crew and passengers of the Carpathia while you eat, but you find it hard to concentrate. You do notice that she makes no mention of the argument with her roommate… whose few possessions have disappeared.

Molly leaves again when you've finished eating, and you and Ralph return to bed. You've never been so exhausted in your life. You're grateful for your tiny bed, and the boy you're sharing it with.

There are no windows in your cabin. The only marker of time is whispered words on well-timed bouts of consciousness with Ralph. You remember getting up to eat once more, and to visit the lavatory. You have a vague memory of Molly suggesting that you switch beds, now that Hettie had found other accommodations, and guiding you and Ralph to the slightly larger mattress.

You'd continue to sleep inches apart anyhow.

"Should we go find Victoria?" you ask, during one of those rare occasions you're both awake at the same time.

"No," Ralph sighs. "I don't want to see her."

"I don't want to see anyone but you," you breathe.

"Likewise," he says.

And then you both drift off again.

"I can't stop dreaming about it," Ralph admits another time.

You know exactly what he's talking about. It haunts you too.

"What would you like to dream about?" you ask.

"You," he answers.

"Perhaps if we concentrate on happier things, we'll dream about them?"

"It's worth a try," Ralph sighs. "I want to see snow. Real snow, not just a flurry. I want to be in a warm house, with you, looking out the window at the falling snow. At Christmastime."

"That sounds wonderful," you smile, closing your eyes and trying to picture it. "I'll make us hot cocoa... we can bake cookies… maybe it'll be so hot, we'll have to take our clothes off…"

"Mm…" Ralph hums.

You both drift off again, hoping to experience the romantic scene you've set instead of the horrifying vision of the sea swallowing an unsinkable ship.

It's not until after dinner, delivered by Molly, that you feel truly awake again. Your aches have subsided. Your brain isn't foggy anymore. Your body still wants to remain in bed, however, so you lie there on your back next to Ralph, looking at the ceiling.

"I think I'll enjoy being on solid ground again," you muse.

Ralph doesn't respond. You turn your head to see a worried expression on his face.

"Ralph? Are you alright?"

"Do you still want to marry me?

His question makes your heart stop. Is he having second thoughts? You turn your gaze back to the ceiling, rather than stare at him in fear.

"Of course I do, Ralph. Do you still want to marry me?"

"Absolutely, but… do you think your parents will allow it?"

"I'd like to see them try and stop us," you respond without even having to think about it.

Ralph looks taken aback by your comment.

"I love you, Ralph Penbury," you smile, squeezing his hand and gazing at him in adoration. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether it's an hour or a lifetime, I want it to be with you. And I don't give a damn what anyone else has to say about it."

Ralph's eyes begin to water. He leans over for a kiss. It starts sweet, but soon turns desperate. Passionate. Something you haven't felt up to in days.

"I'm so happy I met you," he breathes.

"So am I," you smile, cupping his jaw and staring into his beautiful eyes. You can't imagine spending another day without him.

"Let's do it," you suggest.

"Do what?"

"Let's get married."

"Have we not just established we're going to?" he asks.

"Now."

"Now?"

"Let's get married now," you clarify. "They can't object if it's already done."

"Do you mean it?"

You nod.

"But… weddings take months to plan."

"Do you want to wait months, Ralph?"

His brow furrows, and you can see him weighing his options.

"You'd be willing to forego the dress, and the flowers, and the church? Your family being present? All those traditions? For me?"

"I don't need any of that, Ralph," you smile. "All I need is you."

"Are you sure?"

"Ralph, please don't think that I'm trying to pressure you into this. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. We're both tired and hazy still. If you want to--"

"No," he interrupts. "Are you sure you want me?"

The unsure look on his face pains you. How can he not see that he's your entire world? You lean forward for a deep kiss.

"Now who's mad?" you ask, pulling back with a smile. You cradle his face in your hands. "Of course I want you, Ralph. You're the only one I've ever wanted. And I'll still want you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. We don't have to do this now, if you're not ready. I'll wait forever for you."

Ralph stares at you for a moment, then laughs.

"I love you," he says, leaning over to pepper your face with kisses.

"I love you too, Ralph," you giggle, lying helplessly under his attack.

"Well, my love, shall we find ourselves a minister?" he asks when he finishes.

You grin and roll out of bed. You visit the lavatories and fix yourselves up the best you can, and set off in search of a holy man. A steward directs you to the person you're looking for.

You had no idea a wedding could happen so quickly. All the ones you'd attended back home had taken months to plan, like Ralph said. Hundreds of guests, many of whom the bride and groom probably didn't even like. Thousands spent on venues and decorations and dinner for hundreds. So much commotion, the people it was for barely had time to speak to each other.

And then there was this. A quiet ceremony in a dark corner of a ship's library, days after an event that would surely be one for the history books. In the clothes you'd been wearing for days. No fanfare at all; just you, the man you love, and the man reading scripture who would happily sign the necessary papers for a young couple who chose love in the face of tragedy.

It was perfect.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph rest and have a little reunion! Words: 1.7k

"Oi!"

You wake with a jolt, panicked by the shout in your ear, and instinctively cover Ralph's body with your own. It's bright. Someone has removed the blanket that should be covering your heads.

"Easy, dearie, just making sure you're still alive." You look up, into the concerned eyes of a blonde woman. "How about your fella?"

You ease your body off of him and look down.

Why didn't that wake him? She shouted at you. You'd half-jumped on top of him. How deeply can one man sleep?

"Ralph?" you ask, giving his shoulder a nudge. He doesn't rouse. "Come on, Ralph." You touch the side of his face. Why he still so cold?

"Oh, my stars…" the woman whispers.

"Ralph!" you cry out, shaking his shoulder.

He groans and opens his eyes, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

"S'wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetheart," you smile, tears of relief welling in your eyes. "Nothing at at all." You lean forward to kiss his temple, and he nuzzles his cold nose into your neck. You wrap an arm around him to keep him close.

"Have you eaten since you arrived?" the woman asks. She's perched on one of the chairs you've been hiding behind. You notice now that she's wearing a stewardess uniform.

"No," you answer.

"You stay right there," she instructs as she rises from her chair, as if you had the strength to go anywhere.

"Who's that?" Ralph asks.

"A stewardess," you answer. "Just checking on us."

"I'm so tired," he whines.

"I know, darling," you sigh.

"My head."

"I know, darling," you repeat. Yours is throbbing as well. Your throat is raw. You ache all over. You place a gentle kiss to his temple. If that would transfer all his suffering to you, you'd take it willingly.

"What's the time?"

"I… don't know." You lift your head a bit and squint into the bright lights of the room, looking for a window that'll tell you if it's night or day, but you can't see one. You let your head fall back to your coat, which is serving as a makeshift pillow.

"Here we are, my dears," the stewardess announces. She sets a tray on a nearby table. "It'll be much easier to eat your soup if you can sit up for me."

You and Ralph drag yourselves off the floor and lean your backs against the wall. The pain worsens when you sit. Your head is pounding. Every bone in your body aches.

"There we are," she smiles. She hands you each a bowl of soup with a spoon in it. "That'll warm you right up. Might even give you enough strength to get to a real bed."

"Thank you," you mumble. Ralph echoes your sentiments, and you both take your first spoonful of soup. It's heavenly.

"My name is Anna," the stewardess smiles. "Might I ask your names?"

You tell her, and she writes it down on a pad you hadn't noticed. She sees your eyes on it, and smiles.

"Lots of people looking for loved ones. We have hundreds of survivors on board, and everyone's all scattered. If someone asks for you, I have faces now. Are you looking for anyone?"

You give her Molly and Victoria's names, and she writes those down too.

"Would you like me to try and find you a room? Some of our passengers have given up their own cabins, hoping to make you poor dears more comfortable."

You look over at Ralph, struggling to lift his spoon, and shake your aching head.

"Here is fine," you tell her.

"That's perfectly alright," she smiles. "Eat your soup, I'll be back shortly."

When she leaves, you drop your spoon and drink your soup in a way that would make your mother die of embarrassment.

"Let me, love," you say as you reach for Ralph's soup. You set his spoon aside and hold his bowl to his mouth, letting him drink as you had. When the soup is gone, you dab at his cracked lips with your handkerchief.

It's the same one you'd used to draw him to his door. How many days ago had that been? It feels like a lifetime ago.

You tuck it back into your pocket with a sad smile, remembering how happy you both were that day.

"Would you like me to take those away?" You return your empty bowls to Anna with a quiet word of thanks. "If you need anything at all, just ask for Anna. Alright?"

You nod, but as she rises, a thought occurs to you.

"Wait," you call. She turns. "What day is it?"

"Today is Tuesday, April 16th, 1912. The time is," she consults a clock somewhere to her left, "7:16 am."

"Thank you," you whisper, ready to fall back on the floor and sleep for another few hours.

And that's exactly what you do. You and Ralph resume your positions on your makeshift bed, holding each other tight with blankets pulled over your heads, and fall back asleep… but a little warmer this time, thanks to the soup.

When you wake up again, you're a little less groggy. You take in your surroundings. A plaid blanket over your head, light streaming through a hole in the fabric. Your coat as a pillow. A pair of brown eyes staring into yours.

"Good… do you think it's morning or night?" you ask quietly.

"I don't know," Ralph whispers.

"Are you alright?"

Ralph's eyes fill with worry. He doesn't answer. You slide a little closer and take his hand in yours, giving his knuckles a kiss.

"We're alive, and we're together. I don't think we could ask for much more right now."

Ralph nods once in agreement.

"I think I need to get off of this floor, though," you groan, flipping onto your back and attempting to stretch. The blanket falls off of your face, and you squint at the light. At least your headache has lessened.

You and Ralph help each other off the floor. You stand stiffly and gaze out at the room. The stewardess from last night spots you and rushes over.

"Good afternoon!" she chirps.

"Is it afternoon?" you ask.

"It is 1:43 on the the afternoon of April 16th, 1912, and you are just in time for lunch. There are lavatories just down that hallway," she gestures to a door, "if you'd like to freshen up first."

You follow her instructions, briefly parting with Ralph to witness the horror of your reflection in the mirror. You do what you can, and return to the lounge feeling slightly more human. You sit at a table and eat quietly, hoping that your bread and soup gives you enough strength to stay awake for more than an hour.

"There you are!"

Before you can even look up, a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders from behind. Molly. It's Aunt Molly.

She pulls up a chair and sits with you and Ralph.

"I've been looking all over for you! Where have you two been?"

"Right here," you say weakly. "Sleeping."

"Keep eating, you need your strength. Are you alright?"

"Considering…" you trail off, having a vague memory of a doctor checking you and Ralph for frostbite sometime during the night. He's doing much better with his spoon now, you note proudly.

"Ralph, I saw your sister yesterday, but I don't know where she got off to."

"Oh," he says between bites.

You remember what she said to him that night at the lifeboats, and your blood begins to boil.

"Look at you, getting some color back in your cheeks already," Molly smiles, reaching out to pinch one in a way she knows you hate. "When you're feeling up to it, I'd like you to come to my room."

"Your room?" you question.

"They've moved some of the first-class passengers into cabins. I'm sharing one with Hettie - one of the gals I met in the Turkish baths. We can double up and make room for you. It's little, compared to the last one, but you're sure to be more comfortable in there than in here."

You look to Ralph. His eyes meet yours nervously.

"I'd rather stay here with Ralph."

You reach for his hand under the table and give it a squeeze, hoping he knows that you're never letting him go. Not now, not ever.

"Ralph's invited too, sweetheart," she says gently.

A smile twitches at the corner of his mouth. Yours matches.

"It's settled, then," she says, leaning back in her chair. "Eat up, then we'll get you to a real bed."

A real bed? Your back spasms at the thought.

You finish your soup, gather your coats and blankets, and follow Molly to a small cabin.

"Hettie and I can share this one, if you're alright here?"

It's a tiny bed, meant for a servant or traveling companion. Just like the one you'd occupied on Titanic.

"I know it'll be tight, but it has to be better than sleeping on the floor in a room with a hundred other people."

"It's wonderful, Molly, thank you," you say gratefully. Ralph nods in agreement. You want desperately to fall into bed and stay there the rest of the day… but shouldn't you go find his sister? See if she cares that he's alive?

"I'm gonna go see what I can do to help, but why don't you two get settled in? Rest a little more? I'll let you know when it's dinnertime."

You nod, unable to argue with the suggestion of more sleep. Aunt Molly exits the room, leaving you alone with Ralph.

"How does she have so much energy?" he asks, blinking slowly.

"Not a clue," you yawn. "Bed?"

"Bed," Ralph confirms.

You ditch your shoes and a few layers of clothing and crawl into the tiny bed. You have to lie on your sides in order to fit. Ralph pulls the covers over your heads, just like you'd done in the lounge, and you drift off with a satisfied sigh.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: The unsinkable ship sinks! Words: 3.2k

You're recovering from a particularly passionate round of love-making when someone knocks at Ralph's door.

You draw the sheets up to cover your exposed chest with wide eyes. Were you too loud? Has someone reported you? Are you going to be carted away for having premarital sex on an ocean liner? Is it Aunt Molly, here to tell you that she was only joking about not coming back to your room tonight? Is it Victoria, coming to ruin your night?

As your mind goes wild with worry, Ralph reaches for the pocket watch beside his bed.

"It's after midnight," he grumbles, but stands and pulls on his robe. He notices your fear, and his grumpy face softens. "Stay there, love, I'm sure it's nothing. I'll take care of it."

You slink further beneath the covers and close your eyes, hoping whoever it is has no idea you're in here.

"Yes?"

"Sorry to wake you, sir, but the captain has ordered everyone to put on their life belts and come to the boat deck. Be sure to dress warmly, it's quite cold out."

"What's happened?" Ralph asks, but there's no answer.

You come out of hiding when the door closes.

"They want us to put on life belts and warm clothes," Ralph recaps, scratching his head. "But he wouldn't say why. Suppose we ought to?"

You clamber out of bed silently and get dressed as quickly as you can, with the assistance of Ralph. Disturbing first-class passengers in the middle of the night? That decision was not made lightly. Something is wrong.

"I should go check in with my aunt," you say quietly, shaking with fear. Ralph notices, and envelops you in a warm hug.

"And get your coat," he reminds you with a kiss to your forehead. "Let me finish getting dressed, and I'll escort you to her."

"Thank you," you whisper.

Ralph finishes dressing and pulls two life belts from the wardrobe. He drapes the life belts and his coat over his arm, and guides you from the room.

The hallway is bustling with confused passengers.

"One second," he says gently, stopping to knock on Victoria's door. "Victoria!"

"What?!" she snaps from within.

"Did the steward tell you to put on a life belt and come above deck?"

"It makes me look like a damned cow!"

"Are you coming?"

"Do not rush me, Ralph!"

"Let's go," he sighs.

You hold tightly to Ralph's hand as he leads you through the crowded hallways. You open the door of your cabin to find Aunt Molly, already dressed for the cold and wearing her life belt, rifling through the wardrobe.

"There you are honey, I was getting ready to come find you! Here, put this on."

She holds out your coat, and you let her help you into it.

"Are you alright?" she asks. Are you? Your hands are shaking, and your heart is beating much faster than it should be. You can't seem to find your words.

"It's a little hectic out there in the halls, she'll be alright once things calm down," Ralph answers for you. He slips your life belt over your coat and ties the laces while you stand there, shaking uselessly.

"You better suit up too too, darlin', don't want you catching pneumonia out there."

Molly's concern for Ralph brings a smile to your face, and kicks your body back into gear. He shrugs into his coat, and you step forward to help him into his life belt. He smiles in thanks.

"Alright, are we ready? It's probably just some kind of drill, we'll be back to bed in an hour. But it's better safe than sorry!"

Your aunt's calm and positive demeanor makes you relax enough to nod in agreement. Ralph wraps an arm around your back and leads you out of the room. You look back to make sure Molly is following.

"I'm right here, honey," she says.

A crowd has gathered at the end of the hallway. You and Ralph stop, rather than force your way through them. This feels wrong. Everything about this feels wrong.

"The man said to the deck, people!" your aunt reminds them. She steps around you and starts walking. After a few bumps, people begin to move aside. You and Ralph follow in her wake. There's not enough room to walk side by side, so his fingers intertwine with yours, and you follow closely behind. You hold on to him gratefully; you're never letting him go.

You step out onto the deck, and the frigid air bites at your exposed skin immediately. You hold Ralph's hand tighter and follow him through the crowd. The deck is packed with bodies. Crewmen shout orders all around and struggle with ropes holding up the lifeboats, the crowd buzzes with questions, and something mechanical is making a horrible racket. It's overwhelming. When Ralph finally stops, he turns to you.

"Are you alright, love?" You don't respond, but he pulls you close.

The unsinkable ship is sinking. They're evacuating passengers. They're sending tiny toy boats out into the massive sea, where humans will be separated from the darkness and creatures below by a single strip of wood and a prayer.

The thought makes your knees give out, and Ralph grabs you and holds you to him.

"It's alright," he says into your ear. "It's going to be alright."

You cling to him, trying to focus on his calming presence and warmth, rather than the chaos and cold around you… until a familiar voice sends a chill down your spine.

"There you are, Ralph!" Victoria huffs, shoving her way through the crowd to get to him. "I can't believe you abandoned me in my time of crisis!"

"I'm sorry," he apologizes, although he doesn't need to. She hadn't sounded like she needed any help. She and her girlfriends have opted out of the unflattering life belts, donning fur coats and hats instead.

"Honestly, running off with some trollop instead of looking after your own sister. What's gotten into you?!"

Before Ralph can reply, one of the officers yells something you can't hear, and the line lurches forward. You hold tightly to him, for fear of falling and being trampled. He gives you a squeeze and keeps you right next to him.

"WOMEN AND CHILDREN ONLY!" the officer bellows.

Before you can start panicking about what this means for Ralph, Victoria and her girlfriends rush forward. They knock into the pair of you as they pass, eager to get closer to the front of the line.

"Victoria?" he asks in a small voice. It's a wonder she even heard him.

"You heard the man, Ralph!" she snaps. He stands there, frozen, watching his sister push her way to the boat.

"Oh! Ralph!" she says, turning. Has she realized that she's leaving her brother to his death? Is she at least going to say goodbye? "Do you have any money on you? Geraldine cleaned me out at dominoes after dinner, and that worthless maid of mine said the purser's office was closed," she pouts.

That's when you see Ralph's heart break for the third time during this short trip.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" You've been struggling to find your words all night, but your rage unsticks your tongue.

"It's not like he's going to need it," Victoria shrugs. Your jaw drops. You'd very much like to push her over the edge of the ship, but that would require leaving Ralph's side.

"You're next, miss!" a crew member announces. Victoria pushes one of her alleged friends out of the way and steps to the front of the line, and a man lifts her down into the boat and out of sight. Ralph's face crumples, and you pull him to you. The line lurches forward again, but you don't care. The only thing you care about is Ralph.

"Come on," your aunt shouts a moment later, waving you toward her from her place at the front of the line she's reclaimed, now that Victoria and her friends have been seated. You can't let Ralph go. You watch an officer help Aunt Molly in, and she turns her attention to you as soon as she's inside.

"Get in the boat," she orders, firmer now. You shake your head.

"Girl, get over here!"

"No," you whisper, knowing she can't hear you. She fixes you with a fiery glare. "I love you, Aunt Molly," you say a bit louder. "Tell my parents I love them, too." Ralph lifts his head to look at you, not quite comprehending what's happening in his heartbroken state. One look at his tear-streaked face is all it takes to know you're doing the right thing.

It's the only thing.

"Don't you dare!" Molly gets up from her seat to come get you, and nearly knocks over the woman climbing in.

You take Ralph's hand and begin backing away. He doesn't put up a fight; he follows blindly, tears still streaming down his face.

"I'm not done living yet!" you yell to Aunt Molly before disappearing into the crowd. You and Ralph keep stumbling backwards until you hit a wall. While it's mostly women at the front, the men stand here in a cloud of cigar smoke, probably hoping the officer will soften or call for a volunteer oarsman.

You focus on Ralph, who's still in shock over being abandoned by the person he entered this world with. Sobs rack through his body, their volume lessened by sound of the chatter and machinery nearby.

"Come on, sweetheart." You wrap an arm around his waist, made bulkier by the life belt and coat, and begin walking away from the crowd. By the time you reach the other side of the deck - less crowded, but more tilted - Ralph has started coming to his senses.

"You should've gotten on the boat. I should have made you."

"Do I look like the kind of person who can be made to do anything?" you ask, looking up at him with a playful smile. He does not return it.

"We're going to die here," he trembles.

"Ralph, we're all going to die sometime," you say gently, reaching out to wipe away a tear. You don't know how or why you're being so calm about this, but a sense of peace has washed over you since dragging Ralph away from the crowd. His face crumples again. You wrap your arms around him and hold him tight, letting him sob on your shoulder until a thought occurs to you.

"Ralph?" you place a hand on each of his shoulders and push him back so you can look at him. Tears stream from his eyes and into the corners of his mouth. You reach up to wipe them away. "I've got a story for you." Holding his face in your hands and staring into his bloodshot eyes, you smile. "It's about a girl who decided she'd rather spend the next ten minutes with the boy she loves… than a lifetime with one she doesn't." His chin quivers. "How's that for romantic?" you laugh, wiping away a tear of your own.

"You're mad," he says in disbelief.

"You're not the first person to tell me that," you chuckle.

"I can't believe you missed your chance because of me," he shakes his head, "You shouldn't have--" You silence him with a warm embrace.

"You're worth it," you whisper into his ear. "I love you, Ralph."

"I love you too," he mumbles into your neck. "Would you really have married me some day?"

"Absolutely," you answer with sincerity.

Ralph pulls back and chuckles darkly, wiping his eyes. "Finally find someone who actually loves me, and now we're both going to die."

"But at least we get to do it together." You share a smile and lean your foreheads together, closing your eyes and savoring each other's warmth on this cold night.

There are worse ways to die, you suppose.

"Miss!"

Your heads snap up and turn in the direction of the shout.

"Come along, miss, there's still room," an older gentleman with a mustache holds an inviting hand out. Behind him, a small gathering of men part to reveal an impatient officer and a half-full life boat.

"Not without him," you say firmly.

"Don't be stupid," Ralph mutters. You don't move.

The mustached man turns to the officer, who waves you forward. "Come on, then." You grab Ralph's hand and rush toward the boat before the officer can change his mind.

"Are you sure?" Ralph asks as you approach. You mentally shush him.

"Can't fill a boat with women when there are none," the officer shrugs. "In you get." Two men help you climb into the boat, but you don't sit until Ralph is halfway over the railing behind you. Once he's in place beside you, you survey the crowd. There really are no more women here. It seems they've all gathered on the side where it seems safer.

The officer waves more men forward. You and Ralph cling to each other for dear life as they clamber aboard, rocking the little boat with each step.

"Right then, that's enough. Lower away!" The officer orders, before a great drop makes your heart rise into your throat. Ralph holds you tighter, and you bury your face in his shoulder. You're probably only dropping a few inches at a time, but you're sure that with each drop, the boat is going to tip over and you're going to fall into the ocean. You close your eyes tight and cling to the man you love, feeling sicker with each drop, until you hit the water.

Only then do you open your eyes. You're in the ocean. One tiny little boat on that great wide sea. You look up at the officer, smaller in the distance now. The sky lights up behind him with a flare, signaling for help. The men in your boat remove the ropes and reach for oars.

You want desperately to shut your eyes and block it all out as you leave Titanic behind, but you can't look away. You can't even blink. Are your eyes frozen? You don't know how you were able to stand upright on that tilting ship; her front is considerably closer to the sea than her back. Everyone still on board looks crooked.

You thought the sight of the ship's tilt was terrifying, but nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

You and Ralph hold each other and watch the next several minutes unfold in absolute horror. You can't move. You can't speak. You can't even cry as you watch the sea snap the unsinkable ship in half with an ungodly roar and pull her beneath the surface to claim her.

But you can hear the people she left behind.

The only thing louder than the screams is the silence that follows.

You and Ralph sit together, huddled as close as you can get on the dark and tiny boat, for what feels like days. It's pitch black. You've never been so cold in your life. Your only comfort is knowing that Ralph is beside you.

When the sun begins to rise, you close your eyes for what you imagine is the first time in hours. You feel the rays warming your frozen face, and breathe out a shaky sigh. It's a comfort, despite the choppy sea and the biting wind that had arrived with the dawn.

"Look!" someone shouts. You don't have the strength to turn, but gather from the excited shouts that a ship has been spotted. You stay tucked into Ralph's side as the men with the oars begin rowing faster, with renewed purpose, toward the ship that's come to your rescue.

The Titanic's lifeboats reunite beside the ship. Carpathia, her bow reads. You watch from below as a rope ladder is thrown down, and survivors begin climbing it one by one and disappearing into a hole in the side of the ship. The children, and others too weak to climb on their own, are hoisted up in a canvas sack.

You wait patiently, close to your Ralph, until your boat arrives at the ladder. He begins rubbing your hands between his, trying to get some feeling back into them before you have use them to climb. You'll die before you let them hoist you up like a child.

The men insist the ladies go first. You insist on being the last. The men encourage you when it's your turn, like you've been holding back because you're afraid. You're not afraid. You just don't want to leave Ralph behind. You look at him when it's your turn.

"Go on, love, I'll be right behind you," he croaks out. You squeeze his hand and take hold of the ladder, looking up at your seemingly impossible task. You can do this. This is nothing. You begin your climb, counting each rung as you ascend, until you're pulled into the ship by two pairs of strong hands. You collapse on the floor behind them, summoning the last bit of your strength to crawl to the wall and get out of the way.

A moment later, Ralph joins you on the floor. Your names and necessary information are recorded in a logbook as the hallway fills with people from your boat.

When everyone is out, a steward asks you all to follow him. You and Ralph haul yourselves off the floor and weave through a labyrinth of hallways and stairs, into a lounge of some sort with plush carpets and chairs everywhere. You're each given a blanket, instructed where to find tea and coffee and hot soup, and left to your own devices. You look around helplessly for a moment, not sure what to do or where to go. At least it's warm. Other passengers are curled up in chairs, or shakily drinking tea, or frantically searching for loved ones.

Spotting a quiet corner behind a table and chairs, you pull Ralph toward it. His feet drag as he follows. Neither of you has the energy to hunt for food. Sleep seems like the best option. You begin to untie your life belt, but hesitate with a look at Ralph.

"Why does it feel like we should leave them on?" you ask, your voice hoarse.

"Because nothing will ever feel safe again," he responds, with no emotion in his voice. You give his hand a quick squeeze and begin untying yours.

"I think I'll take body heat over a slab of cork today."

Ralph unties his as well, and you set them aside. You use your coats to create a makeshift bed on the floor, and lie down with your back to the wall. Ralph joins you without hesitation.

He snuggles close in your little nook behind the chairs, and you combine your blankets and pull one up over your heads. After being exposed to the cold wind on the frozen sea for so long, this warm little cocoon with Ralph is the only place you want to be.

"Love you," he whispers, eyes already beginning to drift closed.

"Love you, too," you whisper back, using your last bit of strength to lean forward a few inches and kiss the tip of his frozen nose.

And then, you both pass out in your quiet little hiding place, completely oblivious to the hundreds of people flowing in and out of this room.

Note: The order was "women and children first." Officer Lightoller, on the port side, interpreted this as "women and children only". Officer Murdoch, on the starboard side, interpreted this as "women and children first… then men, if there's room." There were boats with men-folk, from all classes - and several working men, too - and they did not have to bribe their way on. They just had to be in the right place at the right time.

And thanks to our love for Ralph, that's exactly where he was.

This is where you and Ralph spent the night.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You have a realization and make things right! Words: 3.5k

"Looks like someone had a late one."

You roll over to face the wall without opening your eyes. You're in no mood for your aunt's teasing. You haven't been asleep long enough to have forgotten why you feel so miserable. You've thought of nothing but Ralph all night long. You're still in yesterday's clothes, which Ralph helped you back into. You haven't even bothered to wash off your makeup, which has surely been smudged after hours in Ralph's bed and a full night of crying.

Everything goes back to Ralph.

Except for you.

He thinks you betrayed him. And he has good reason to. His sister has been playing these twisted games with him all their lives. You'd followed her around and fooled yourself into thinking she might be a friend... briefly. But why should he believe that you were any different than every other girl who'd used him to win some stupid prize?

A choked sob escapes from your throat.

"What did he do?" your aunt accuses, all traces of humor gone from her voice.

"Nothing," you croak.

"Then what did you do?"

You turn your face into your pillow and let your tears soak it. You feel her sit down on the side of your bed.

"I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what happened."

You breathe out a shuddering breath and speak to the wall.

"On the night I met Victoria, she made a game. She had a bunch of girls compete for Ralph's affection. There were winners and losers and I sat there with her and watched it happen. Because I thought he was enjoying it, and nobody would get hurt. And then it went too far, and I told him about it, and the game was over."

"That's why everyone was giving you the ol' stink-eye," your aunt surmises.

You nod.

"And then I ran into him the next day in the library. We had the same idea; get a book and hide from them. But we started talking, and we started walking, and we never even cracked open our books. And then we met again the next day, and had a wonderful time, and… and last night, we ran into Victoria. She brought up the game. He thinks I was…" You can't bring yourself to continue.

"He thinks you were playing him like all those other girls did."

You answer with a sob.

"You really like him, huh?"

You nod your head, unable to speak.

"Do you love him?"

Of course you do. He's the most beautiful person you've ever met, inside and out. He's kind, he's funny, and he's intelligent. Simply being in his presence makes your world feel a little brighter.

But Ralph Penbury's heart has been toyed with time and again. Why should he believe that you were any different than the girls who'd tell him they loved him or take him to bed for a piece of jewelry or a chance to be in his sister's entourage for a day? How was he to know that your feelings were real?

You bury your face in your pillow to hide a fresh wave of sobs.

"That's what I thought. Does he know that?"

"No," you choke out.

"So why are you lying here in a puddle of your own tears instead of finding him and telling him?"

"Why should he listen to anything I have to say? He thinks I'm one of them," you wail.

"Because I saw the way he looked at you during dinner. And unless that boy is falling in love with every girl who gives him the time of day, he's probably in the same position you are right now: Face down and in danger of drowning."

You stop crying abruptly.

"Get up, get dressed, and go talk to that boy," she orders.

You rise and redress as quickly as you can.

"If I don't see you 'til morning, I'll understand!" she smirks as she pushes you out the cabin door.

You arrive quicker than you expected. You peek cautiously into the hallway where his room is before you enter, praying that Victoria isn't in it. Clear. You approach his door and knock.

"Ralph?" you call quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone else at this early hour. (Or let Victoria know you were here.) "Would you please open up and talk to me? I can explain."

No answer. You put your ear to the door and listen for movement. Nothing. Perhaps he's already gone down for breakfast? What if he never came back to his room? Should you go look for him?

"Ralph?" You knock again. "Please?"

After another moment of silence, you sigh and retreat. A few doors down, a steward comes out with a pair of shoes in need of shining. It gives you an idea.

"Excuse me," you smile.

"Yes, miss?"

"Mr. Ralph Penbury dropped this last night," you pull out your handkerchief, "and I wanted to return it, but I'm not quite sure which room is his. Would you be a dear and see that it gets back to him?"

"Of course, miss," the steward smiles, reaching for the handkerchief with his free hand.

"Thank you so much!" You walk in the opposite direction and turn the corner, then whirl around to peek out like you had upon arrival. The steward knocks on Ralph's door and announces himself. It opens. He's in there. The steward presents Ralph with the handkerchief, which Ralph refuses, because it's not his. The steward apologizes and leaves confused.

"Oh my goodness," you say, rounding the corner again. "I believe I've given you the wrong one. I've left the gentleman's handkerchief in my stateroom, this one's mine."

"Oh." The steward returns the square to you.

"So sorry for troubling you," you smile. "I'll get his to him later."

"No trouble at all, miss," he says, an odd smile on his face. Probably attributing this exchange to silly women-folk and their tiny brains.

When the steward disappears from sight, you return to Ralph's door and knock again.

"Ralph? I know you're in there, and I know you don't want to see me. So I'll explain from here." You take a deep breath and survey the hallway, making sure you're still alone. "I spent time with you because I wanted to. Not because of your sister or one of her stupid games. Just because of you. I adore you, Ralph Penbury. You are the sweetest, most wonderful person I've ever met. And it breaks my heart that you think I had an ulterior motive."

You rest your head against the door.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that I was engaged." You close your eyes. "I can't marry him, Ralph. I won't. Not after you." Tears begin streaming down your face again, ruining your freshly applied makeup. "Ralph, you made me feel things I didn't know were possible. I thought I was cold and hollow inside. But you… you made me feel so warm. You made me feel alive. I can't go home and marry someone I'll never love and live a life I don't want to live. I need more. And I didn't know there was more until I met you."

You knock your forehead on the door to end your rambling.

"What I'm trying to say is that I love you, Ralph."

Silence.

You step back from the door, hoping it'll open. But it doesn't. The damage is done. He'll never believe another word you say. You heave a sigh and address the door one last time.

"I hope you find someone who deserves you, Ralph. Because you are truly wonderful. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise."

You wipe your eyes with the handkerchief that had been passed around and turn to leave.

You make it three steps before a "Wait!" stops you in your tracks.

You slowly turn. Ralph is standing in the doorway, still in his rumpled clothes from yesterday, eyes teary and nose red.

"Do you mean it?"

"Every word," you breathe.

Ralph bounds toward you and crushes you in a hug. You squeeze your eyes shut and hug him back with everything you've got, never wanting to let him go again.

Eventually, Victoria's voice carries through the walls, announcing that she's awake. Ralph backs into his room without letting you go, and you grin as you shuffle inside pressed against him. You kick the door shut.

When his grip loosens, you look up.

"Missed you," you say.

"It's been a very hard…" Ralph scrunches his face in concentration. "Eight hours?"

"Indeed it has," you agree with a laugh, reaching up to wipe your eyes.

He sits on the edge of the bed, holding out his hands for you to take. You step closer and clasp them in yours.

"Is there… is there anything else I should know about you?" he asks bashfully.

"Ralph, ask me anything, and I'll tell you. I don't want any secrets between us."

"What's he like?"

"What's who like?" you ask in confusion.

"Your fiancé."

You laugh in surprise.

"Why do you want to know about him?"

Ralph's big brown eyes drift to the floor.

"I want to know what he did wrong," he says quietly. "Why you don't want him."

"Ralph…" You sit on the bed next to him. "It's not that he did one specific thing wrong. It's that he was wrong for me."

"How did you know?"

You think about it for a moment; sure, Donald did a lot of things that annoyed you. He chewed too loud, always ordered the exact same thing at the exact same restaurant, and insisted on calling your family's maid "girl" after years of being reminded that her name was Nancy. He was too serious, difficult to engage in conversation, and unbelievably boring. But even with all these minor annoyances, he'd never really made you feel anything at all. You smile when you find your answer.

"I didn't know he was wrong… until I found someone who was right."

Ralph's face brightens slowly while this sinks in. Soon, his worried frown turns into a grin that crinkles his eyes. You can't help yourself. You have to lean over and kiss him.

An hour later, you lie on your side in just your chemise, staring into those beautiful but sleepy eyes of his.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask.

"You," he breathes.

"Good thoughts?" you ask.

"That's all I have when it comes to you."

You lean in for a kiss, grateful to be with him again.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" you ask, reaching out to stroke his hair when he settles back on his pillow.

"No," he mumbles. "Did you?"

"No."

"Maybe we nap for an hour?" he asks, eyelids getting heavier by the second. You keep stroking his hair until he falls asleep, then allow yourself to slip into dreamland as well.

When you open your eyes again, Ralph is staring at you.

"Sorry," he says nervously. "I didn't mean to-- I wasn't watching--"

"Shhh," you whisper, scooting closer to him and snuggling into his chest. His apologies stop, and he nuzzles his cheek into your hair.

"Did you sleep well?" you ask, muffled by his chest.

"I did," he answers. "Did you?"

"Mhm," you hum. "Have you been awake long?"

"Not very," he says. His stomach rumbles.

"Perhaps we should get dressed and see if they're still serving breakfast," you suggest, giving his belly a rub.

"Actually… we slept through lunch."

You raise your head and look at him in surprise.

"We did?"

"It's nearly three."

You stare at each other for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

"We can go to the restaurant on B-Deck. I think I shall perish if I have to wait for the dining saloon to open up," he says dramatically.

"Then let's hurry, I can't have my Ralph wasting away to nothing," you declare, crawling out of bed and surveying the pile of clothes in the floor. "Would you kindly help me back into that dress you nearly tore off me this morning?"

"Certainly, darling," Ralph says, holding up your knickers by two fingers and giving you a mischievous look.

You snatch them away with a playful glare and dress as quickly as you can. The process would've gone a lot faster, had Ralph not kissed his way up your back where he was supposed to be buttoning, but you thought it best not to complain.

Finally, you set out from Ralph's room toward the restaurant. You're seated quickly at a table for two, where Ralph proceeds to order a ridiculous amount of food for you to share.

You raise an eyebrow when the waiter leaves.

"I'm hungry," he shrugs. "Oh, did we forget something? Did you want something else? We can call him back!"

You decline with a laugh and discuss the décor while you wait for your food to arrive. It's much more intimate than the massive dining hall, where everyone is served at once. The restaurant is nearly empty, given that it's an odd time of day to be eating. You don't mind a bit.

Conversation ceases when the food arrives, and you realize how ravenous you are. You and Ralph tear into your meals, having missed several now, and don't stop until you've sampled everything.

"Would it be unreasonable of me to suggest another nap?" Ralph asks, stifling a yawn as you exit the restaurant.

"Not at all," you smile. "As long as I'm allowed to join you."

"Darling, I never want to sleep without you by my side again."

You lean into him and walk back to his room, free yourselves of your clothes once more, and fall back into bed.

"If there's more to life than eating and napping and making love, I don't want to know about it," Ralph mumbles.

You fall asleep with a smile on your face, wondering if any dream could be better than your current reality.

When your eyes open again, you're unable to take them off Ralph's face. You've never seen anyone look so perfect and peaceful. Gone is the downtrodden boy taking orders from his hateful sister. The annoying brother who's always the subject of some mean-spirited game. The means to an end, to be tossed aside when he's no longer useful. You'll die before you let anyone hurt this beautiful boy again.

Ralph begins to stir. He stretches in a way that reminds you of a cat, and greets you with a goofy smile.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"How I never want to get out of this bed," you answer.

"That can be arranged," he smirks, inching closer to you.

"Oh, really?" you ask playfully.

"Just the mattress, or the bed itself? Never mind. If it's bolted down, I'll have someone cut it out."

You chuckle, and Ralph smiles.

"Or…" He bites his lip. "My bed at home is much larger than this. Softer, too. If… if you'd like to come back to London with me."

Your heart melts.

"You don't have to," he quickly adds. "It was just an idea."

You reach out to cup the side of his face, and he quiets.

"Ralph, I'd love to."

"Really?" His whole body seems to be vibrating. You start feeling it too. His excitement is contagious!

"Really," you confirm, grinning just as hard as he is.

He captures your lips in a kiss, and another hour with Ralph is spent between the sheets.

"How long do you plan on staying in the States?" you ask afterward, head resting on his chest.

"I'd like to visit with my uncle for a while," he says, hand drifting up and down your bare back. "And meet your family. Would that be alright?"

"They're a lot to handle," you chuckle. "Are you sure you're ready for that?"

"I'd face anything for you."

"You may reconsider that statement once you meet my mother," you tease.

"I wonder if she'll like me?" he ponders.

"She won't," you say confidently. "But that's alright. I'll like you enough for both of us."

"Why won't she like me?"

"She has her heart set on me marrying Donald the Dull and becoming an obedient little housewife, just like all her friends' daughters. Raise the children, worship the husband, spend all my free time gossiping under the guise of bettering my standing in the community."

"That doesn't sound appealing at all."

"It really doesn't," you agree. You look up at him with pure adoration. "But I didn't have the courage to admit it until I met you. I owe you everything, Ralph. Even if this isn't forever."

Your heart stops when you realize what you've said.

"What do you mean 'if this isn't forever'?"

You feel sick. Now is not the time for this conversation. You just got him back, and now you're losing him again already!

"Can you honestly say that you're ready to spend the rest of your life with a girl you've known for four days?"

Ralph swallows, a pained look on his face. You close your eyes and brace yourself. You offered him an out, and he's going to take it. And he's probably right to. Declaring your everlasting love this early is insane. What were you thinking?

"Only if that girl is you."

You burst into tears. You can't help it. You love him, and the thought of being without him is agonizing. He pulls you to his chest, and you hold him tight and cry in relief.

"I love you," you whisper, as soon as you're able.

"I love you, too," he replies, with a kiss to your forehead.

"Would you marry me one day?" he asks. You look up in surprise. "This is not an official proposal!" he clarifies. "Just… one day. Is that something you'd…?"

"Of course, Ralph."

Another kiss leads to another roll in the sheets. As you lie there afterwards, happily pressed against his side, you see him smile.

You poke a finger into his dimple, and he grins harder.

"What's got you so happy?" you tease.

"I'm just thinking of something that someone told me once," he says.

"Do tell, Mr. Penbury."

"She said that it's different when you're in love."

"She?"

Ralph licks his lips nervously and considers it for a moment.

"The woman who escorted me into manhood."

"The woman who escorted you into manhood?" you question.

"I'm trying to put it gently," he says. "She was… not a lady. Not like you."

"A prostitute?" you guess.

Ralph nods.

"Your first time was with a prostitute?"

"I didn't know it at the time," he admits.

"Victoria?" you ask, fearing the answer.

He nods. You blink back tears.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset with you, Ralph," you breathe. "I'm upset for you. Your first time is supposed to be special. Something you'll treasure for a lifetime. And your own sister stole that from you."

"It turned out alright in the end," he assures you. "I learned a lot of valuable lessons under her tutelage."

You kiss his bare shoulder, unable to speak. Ralph clears his throat.

"But she told me that… er, engaging in coitus is different than making love. And she was right. It's so much better when you're in love."

You let his words sink in, and your heart warms.

"Then perhaps we've just experienced a first together," you suggest softly. You'd had no illusions about loving your first. But Ralph was right. Being with him was entirely different.

Ralph turns to face you, so he can kiss you properly.

"And a second," he mumbles, moving to kiss your chin. "And a third," he says, kissing your collarbone.

You laugh and wrap your legs around him, and by the time the sun goes down, you've lost count.

"I feel like I've known you all my life," he whispers a few hours later, when you're both too exhausted for more strenuous activities.

"Imagine if we had," you smile. "Imagine all the luncheons and horrible dates I could have avoided. All the games and torment you could have escaped." You sigh. "Or perhaps, we wouldn't have suffered enough to appreciate what we have now."

"Or perhaps," Ralph says slowly, "we could have been happy together all along."

You lean in to kiss the tip of his nose.

"I guess we'll just have to settle for being happy together for the rest of our lives," you whisper.

"Better late than never, I suppose," Ralph grins, inching closer.

Your lips meet in a sweet kiss.

"I love you," Ralph whispers against your lips.

"I love you too, Ralph."

And then your lips become too busy for words.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph go exploring and get a little closer! Words: 4.5k

In a completely shocking turn of events… you were awake and out of bed before your aunt. You were nearly dressed when she finally sat up and stretched.

"I wonder what you're getting all prettied up for?" she teases. "Could it be another date with that lovely British lad who joined us for dinner last night?"

"Not a date," you say innocently, inspecting your dress in the mirror. "I'm simply spending time with a likeminded individual."

"How so?"

"He also thinks his sister is a pill."

She laughs.

"This isn't like Italy," she says, turning serious all of a sudden. "If you're going to be with this one, you'll need to be quiet about it. People will talk."

Your face gets hot. Yes, you'd had a brief vacation romance with a handsome Italian waiter. Yes, you'd done things with him that you thought you wouldn't do until you were married. Yes, Aunt Molly had encouraged you to do so. No, she did not to bring it up right now.

"Did you hear me?"

But Ralph isn't some handsome stranger you want to have one or two passionate nights with and then lock up tight like a secret. You enjoy his company. You like talking to him, and listening to him, and joking with him. You like making up stories with him. You like the way his eyes sparkle when he's excited, and how hair looks almost copper when the sun hits it a certain way. It's not like that with him.

You swallow all this down and nod.

"Good," she chirps, and the tension in the air dissipates. "So, what are you two getting into today?"

"I don't know," you admit, grateful for the change of subject. "We're meeting on deck after breakfast. Probably just walking and talking, like yesterday."

"I like him," she says. "He's got this child-like wonder about him. Like the world hasn't broken his spirit yet."

You duck your head to hide the fond smile spreading across your face. You know exactly what she's talking about.

"And he's handsome, too," she teases.

You sit down and start applying make-up to your burning face.

"Honey, they don't make a shade that'll cover that up," she laughs, then ducks out the door on her way to the lavatory.

Aunt Molly grows tired of teasing when the hunger sets in. You have breakfast together in the saloon, and part ways again. Today, you made no plans to meet her for lunch. A bit presumptuous, probably, but you'd spend every remaining moment on board with Ralph Penbury if he'd have you. She understood, and sent you off to meet him with a wink and a "have a nice day with your handsome gentleman friend!"

Ralph is waiting for you when you arrive on deck.

"Good morning!" you speak at the same time, which makes you both laugh.

"What shall we get into today, Mr. Penbury?" you ask.

"Anything you like, my dear."

"Hmmm…" You tap a finger to your chin and pretend to ponder. "Shall we explore the ship? See what kind of activities are offered to keep the youthful passengers occupied and out of trouble?"

"Wonderful idea!" Ralph exclaims, clapping his hands in front of him. "I heard someone praising the well-equipped gymnasium on my way here!"

"Is there anything this ship doesn't have?"

"I don't know," Ralph answers. "But we can find out!"

He offers his arm, and you take it. You approach the gymnasium together… only to discover that men and women are not allowed in at the same time.

"Well, if I can't go in with you, I don't want to go in at all," Ralph says.

"My sentiments exactly, Mr. Penbury. Where shall we try next?"

You run into the same problem at the swimming pool, the Turkish baths, and the squash court. Women were not allowed in the smoking room. And although there was no posted sign, there were no men in the reading and writing room.

There was nothing for you to do together except walk and talk, so that's what you did. And you had a marvelous time.

You and Ralph took a gamble and had lunch together in one of the cafes, and survived without a Victoria encounter. You had no idea what was served. Your focus was the boy with the brilliant mind. You hung on his every word like a schoolgirl with a crush, and Ralph didn't seem to mind in the slightest. Perhaps he was enjoying your company as much as you were his?

You thought his head might explode when you used your napkin to wipe away a bit of cream from his lip during dessert. You very nearly apologized for embarrassing him with your thoughtless action… until you saw the grin that nearly broke his face.

After lunch, you decided to explore other areas of the ship. You hadn't ventured very far off the beaten path since Victoria had dragged you down to the third-class area, but exploring with Ralph felt different. It wasn't malicious. You were simply a couple taking a stroll.

A couple of new friends, your brain corrects quickly.

You chat quietly as you explore, noting the differences between the second and third class areas and your own. The hallways were so narrow in third class, you had to walk close together. Your hand kept brushing against Ralph's. You wanted so badly to just hold it, but didn't have the courage.

Courage? To hold the hand of a man you weren't engaged to? You held your hand stiffly to your side and internally berated yourself.

You and Ralph round a corner in a third class corridor and nearly step on a small child. A little girl, probably three or four years old, in a brown dress. Her nose and cheeks are red, and her curls are peeking out of a kerchief.

"Mummy," she sniffles.

Without hesitation or regard to his expensive suit, Ralph sinks to one knee in the cramped little hallway.

"Hello," he greets. "What's your name?"

"Mary."

"Hello, Mary." Ralph introduces himself, and then you. She wipes away a tear with the sleeve of her dress. "Are you lost?"

She nods.

"Do you know Mummy's name?"

"Mummy," she says again.

"Alright," he smiles. "Would you like us to help you find Mummy?"

She nods. Ralph stands and reaches for her hand, and she takes it. She looks up at you expectantly. You offer her your own hand, and she takes that too. Ralph gives you a smile that makes your heart melt, and the three of you make your way down the narrow hallway.

There are no stewards in sight. No passengers to look at the child with recognition. No one to ask for directions, or for assistance in finding Mary's mummy.

You think of the child Victoria sneered at for daring to get too close to her fancy dress. How can two siblings be so different?

You keep walking until you begin to hear voices. You follow them, and wind up in the same lounge that Victoria had brought you to a few days before. It feels different now. People pay you no mind.

"Pardon me," you say to a table of young ladies. "This is Mary, and she's lost her Mummy. Do you recognize her?"

"No, but we'll find her!" The girls get up and and scatter, and moments later, they return with a very worried woman.

"Mummy!"

Mary releases her grip on your hands and takes off running. Her mother scoops her up in a hug. They exchange words, and Mary points at Ralph. The mother approaches cautiously, still holding Mary in her arms.

"Thank you," she says, "for finding my Mary."

"No trouble at all, madam," Ralph smiles. "We're so happy to have helped." Your heart swells.

"What are you doing down here?" one of the searchers returning to the her seat nearby asks. She winces after, as if someone has kicked her under the table.

"Not sittin' on their rears gossipin' like you lot," Mary's mother admonishes. The girls blush. More eyes are on you now, reminding you that you don't belong here. You take it as your cue to leave.

"We should be going now," you say gently. "Goodbye, Mary!"

"It was wonderful to meet you!" Ralph adds.

You and Ralph give Mary a goodbye wave and turn to leave. You walk quickly and quietly until you're out of sight. When you enter another tight hallway with no one in it, you begin to slow your pace.

That's when you realize you're holding Ralph's hand.

You drop it in a panic and stare straight ahead, not daring to look at him. Would he be more offended by you taking his hand, or by dropping it like a hot potato?

"Where are we?" you ask, hoping for a distraction. You both stop, looking around for a sign to tell you what deck you were on, or which way to the staircase.

A group of children appears out of nowhere, running through the halls and laughing loudly. Ralph reaches for you, pushing you against the wall and shielding you with his body as they pass by.

When they disappear, the sound of their laughter is replaced by the pounding of two hearts. Your eyes meet Ralph's. He's centimeters away. If he hadn't been holding his breath, same as you, you surely would've felt it on your face. You lift your chin slightly. He lowers his.

Slowly, cautiously, your lips meet in a gentle kiss.

Which is interrupted far too soon, when more people pass through the cramped hallway. Ralph takes your hand, and you let him lead you away. The lifts are just around the corner.

The same man that advised Victoria not to go into a third-class area is operating it, but he doesn't say a word to indicate that he recognizes you as he pulls the lever and takes the lift upward. When it stops and the man opens the gate, you and Ralph both mutter a "thank you" and exit.

You stand outside it awkwardly, not entirely sure what comes next. You still haven't recovered from the sweetest, most wonderful kiss you've ever experienced. Not that you were an expert or anything; your romantic endeavors were somewhat limited, but you knew for certain that no one had ever made you feel this way before.

"I'm growing so bored of this bloody ship!" someone loudly complains.

"So am I, Victoria!"

Before you have time to panic, Ralph grabs your hand and pulls you away from the lifts and the voices. You turn this way, and that, and eventually end up in another hallway. This one is considerably wider than the ones below, and carpeted, and better lit.

But your real focus is on the man in front of you. He peeks around the corner, making sure his sister is nowhere in sight. Once he's determined that you're alone, he heaves a sigh of relief and straightens.

"That was close," he smiles.

"Too close," you agree, leaning against the wall for support. You're not sure if you're winded from running way from Victoria, or if you're still feeling the effects of that kiss. It's all you can think about. You want more. No, you need more. Would it make you feel the same the second time? The third? What if you never stopped?

Ralph walks toward you, one slow step at a time, and by the time he stops, you're nearly as close as you were down below.

"Is this too close?" he whispers, his face barely an inch from yours. Your knees wobble.

"Not close enough," you breathe.

He closes the distance, and your lips meet again. You close your eyes and lose yourself in the taste of him. How is he doing this to you?

"Come along, darling!"

Your heads whip in the direction of the voices, and you see a young couple exiting their suite. Ralph stands back a respectable distance, and nods to the man as they pass.

When the hallway is clear again, Ralph looks at you with... longing? Does he need this as much as you? He licks his lips. You reach for him the same time he reaches for you.

His mouth crashes to yours, innocence and sweetness gone now. Your arms wrap around him, pulling him closer, closer. Your tongues meet in a passionate dance, and you forget how to breathe. You forget everything but Ralph Penbury and the way he makes you feel. You don't care about your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, or the way you suspect he's holding you up because your legs have turned to jelly, or that you're out here in the open, where anyone can see you.

Ralph. All you care about is Ralph.

Eventually, he pulls back, and you both gasp for air. His eyes are nearly black. His lips are red and swollen. His chest heaves. If he asked, you'd let him take you right here in this hallway.

Your staring contest is interrupted when someone exits a stateroom nearby. You turn away, not wanting anyone to see you in what is surely a disheveled state. An elderly man passes without a word, and you look to Ralph.

He opens his mouth as if to speak, but closes it before any words come out.

"What is it, Ralph?"

"Nothing," he lies.

"Tell me," you beg.

He shakes his head and looks at the floor.

"Please?" you ask, reaching for his hands. They envelop yours in warmth, and his eyes meet yours again.

"I don't want to be presumptuous."

"Tell me," you whisper, giving his hands a squeeze. You hold your breath, hoping he's thinking the same thing you are.

"Promise you won't be angry with me?" he asks quietly.

"I promise."

Ralph takes a deep breath and braces himself. "Would you like to come back to my stateroom and continue this without further interruption?"

Before you can respond, you can see him mentally kick himself. "I'm so sorry, you're a lady, that was entirely--"

You silence him with a kiss.

Once you're both breathless again, you pull away. "Does that answer your question?" you ask impishly.

Ralph laughs in relief and pulls you through the winding halls toward his room. He fumbles with his key at the door, but manages to unlock it. He swings it open, gesturing for you to go ahead. You step inside and view the suite in awe.

It's considerably larger than your own. It's decorated in warm colors, and contains more furniture, more windows… and a bigger bed.

"Victoria's is bigger," Ralph notes, watching you inspect his room from his place by the door. It remains open. Does he think you're going to change your mind and bolt?

"It's perfect," you smile, coming back to wrap your arms around his neck. "This whole day has been perfect, Ralph."

Ralph smiles warmly and comes in for another kiss. You return it, and feel your knees go weak again. His hand leaves your waist just long enough to close the door. You cling to him, and he begins walking you backward. When the backs of your legs hit the bed, you fall onto it, landing on your rear.

"I'm sorry!" Ralph says hurriedly. "I didn't mean to imply--! I just thought--!" He scrunches one eye closed, like he's afraid to see your reaction. "I thought you might like to sit down?"

You glance around at the numerous chairs in the room and look at him in amusement. His face burns scarlet. You scoot back from your perch on the edge of the bed and make yourself comfortable.

"Are you going to join me?" you ask. Now who's the presumptuous one?

Ralph all but leaps into his bed with you. The kissing is much easier when you don't have to worry about remaining upright. Take that, traitorous legs!

Your hands wander through Ralph's hair, down his neck, across his back. His roam from your face, to your sides, to your hips. Somehow, his leg slots itself between yours, and even through your dress, the friction makes you moan into his mouth.

Ralph pulls back in surprise. You feel as though you should apologize… but why? He wants this too, doesn't he? You stare at each other for a moment, chests heaving and lips hungry, unsure what to do next.

"If you want me out of this dress, you'll have to help me," you say eventually. Ralph's face splits into a grin, and he rolls out of bed. You follow, and he pulls you out and spins you around with a laugh.

"Why is this so complicated?" he grumbles as he fumbles with all the buttons and laces and layers. You laugh together until you're down to your chemise. You turn back around to help Ralph undress, but his jaw drops when he sees you. A wave of self-consciousness washes over you, standing there in a lacy little thing that's practically see-through, and you attempt to subtly cover yourself.

Ralph knows what you're doing. He takes your hands in his, letting the thin fabric reveal every curve, leaving you feeling exposed.

"Don't do that," he whispers. "You're perfect." He leans in to give you a soft kiss, more like your first than your most recent. It makes your body buzz just the same.

You help him shed his clothes as well, and fall back into bed together. Ralph guides you upward until your head rests on his pillow and looks down at you with an unexplainable look in his eye. Before you can begin to unpack his expression, his lips distract you with another kiss, and your hands gravitate toward his shoulders. Ralph's hands begin to roam your body again, but this time, they feel so large and warm with only your chemise separating them from your skin. You want them all over you.

You soon get your wish. Ralph's hand finds your bare leg, and rubs upward. He breaks your kiss to look to you for permission, and you nod. Ralph glances down and lets his hand drift into that place you want him most, and you both let out a puff of breath when he makes contact. You stare into each other's eyes as he slides a finger through the slick he's helped you create.

Your hips jerk when he circles that most sensitive spot, and he removes his hand. Before you can protest, he raises it to his lips and licks it clean. You don't know how to react, but you don't have long to ponder. Ralph leans back down and kisses you again, letting you taste yourself via his tongue.

Your brain is on fire.

You moan again, completely by accident, and he grinds his hips against you to let you feel how aroused he is. You want desperately to reach down and stroke him, but what would he think about that?

You roll your hips against his, and it's his turn to moan. You need him. You need him inside you, right now, like you've never needed anything else in your entire life.

"Ralph," you beg. "Please."

Ralph hurriedly hikes your chemise up to your hips and settles between your legs, pulling his shorts out of the way. He looks to you one last time for permission.

"Ralph," you breathe, eyes pleading.

He reaches down to line himself up with your entrance, and slowly brings his his hips forward. You feel him stretching you, and close your eyes and clench the covers in your hands. When he's fully inside, you open your eyes. His elbows rest on either side of you, and he looks down at you with concern.

You smile up at him and try not to cry.

You're not hurt.

You've just never felt this way before.

You reach out to touch the side of his face, and he leans into your hand. You stroke his cheek with your thumb. His eyes close.

And then you give a slight roll of your hips, and he springs back into action.

Ralph begins rocking into you. He maintains eye contact at first, when it's gentle and slow, but when his pace and intensity increase, his head moves to the crook of your neck. You hold him to your chest, gasping and moving with his frantic thrusts, until you can't handle it anymore. Your back arches, your eyes close, and pleasure washes over you as Ralph keeps up his inhuman pace. His release soon follows, and he collapses on top of you.

You lie there and stroke his hair absentmindedly, eyelids heavy and body feeling as though it's made of lead.

"Are you alright?" he mumbles.

"I'm alright," you answer, still running your fingers through his hair.

Alright is an understatement. You've never felt better in your life.

You spent the rest of the evening in Ralph Penbury's bed. You skipped dinner, deciding you'd rather consume each other than anything the cooks had prepared tonight. You never wanted to leave him. When you were with him, you felt… happy. Present. Alive. Like life was worth living, and everything was going to be alright.

All your life, you'd felt inadequate somehow. Like you were never quite good enough. Teachers pushing you to get better grades. Your mother nagging you to be more like the other girls. Donald wanting you to…

It hits you like a ton of bricks.

You're engaged.

When you get back to the States in four days, you'll be expected to go home and start planning a wedding.

A wedding to a man you feel nothing for. You'd thought for the longest time that there was something wrong with you. If Donald Andrews is as perfect as everyone says he is, why did you feel nothing for him? Were you broken inside? Were you incapable of love?

A few days with Ralph Penbury had blown that theory out of the water.

You gaze at the boy sleeping on his stomach next to you and try not to cry. He's so beautiful, so kind, so imaginative. He's perfect. But he's not yours. He'll never be yours, because you cannot be his.

What would a sweet person like Ralph want with a lying, unfaithful harlot like you, anyhow?

He opens his eyes and catches you staring. He smiles and stretches.

"Why d'you look so sad?" he asks, eyes barely open.

Do you tell him? Is honesty really the best policy? Do you want to break this poor boy's heart again?

"Our trip is nearly over," you lament, reaching out to smooth his messy hair.

"Doesn't have to be," he yawns, nuzzling his face into the pillow.

How you wish he were right.

"Ralph, in four days, we'll dock in New York. And then you and I will part ways, and go on about our lives."

Sadness flashes through Ralph's eyes.

"But we have four more days," you keep talking, knowing that if he protests, you'll cave. You'll tell him anything he wants to hear. "And I want to spend as much time as I can with you."

Ralph gets a tragic look on his face, like his internal battle is raging as fiercely as yours. "I understand," he eventually says. "I want that too. To be with you, as much as possible. While we still can."

Part of you had been hoping that he'd put up a fight. Beg you to love him, to stay with him, to marry him on this ship tonight and become his forever. And you? You'd have done it, consequences be damned.

But even Ralph, the most romantic person you've ever met, knows that this isn't permanent. You both have lives waiting for you on shore. What if he has someone waiting for him, too?

The thought breaks your heart.

You lean forward for a kiss, hoping that Ralph's magic lips will provide enough healing to get you through the night.

"It's getting late," you sigh when you pull away. His heart's not in it either. "I should probably get back to my room before my aunt beats your door down."

Ralph smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Need help getting back into your two thousand layers of clothing?"

"Yes, please," you answer, leaning over to kiss the tip of his nose.

He helps you back into your clothes, and you help him button his shirt. It's the longest silence you've experienced with him since the night you ruined Victoria's game.

"You don't have to walk me back," you tell him, even though he's already mostly dressed.

"Nonsense," he says, leaning down to tie his shoes. "A lady ought not be wandering alone at nighttime." Your heart pangs with the memory of the night that bonded you, and a tear threatens to spill from the corner of your eye. Why does this have to hurt so much?

Ralph holds up a finger in a wait-one-second gesture and pokes his head out the door. After ensuring that the coast is clear, he reaches for your hand. You take it and step into the hallway.

"There you are!"

Your heads whip toward the shrill voice. Victoria has just rounded the corner, clearly drunk, being supported by Georgina.

"I knew you'd found a strumpet somewhere, but I didn't think it'd be that one," she said, as though you weren't standing there looking right at her.

You don't know what to do, so you stand there, frozen, at Ralph's side.

"I thought you weren't looking for romance," she smirks, turning her attention to you. "Knew you were on the wrong side of that game. But you can't switch sides now! You entered under false princes! Princesses!"

"Pretenses!" Georgina supplies helpfully.

You hazard a glance at Ralph out of the corner of your eye, and your heart plummets through the floor. He looks devastated.

You shake your head, hoping he knows you weren't playing with him. You ruined their game! You ended it the night you exposed Nora on the bench! You saved him from further humiliation! You were with him because you wanted to be!

"She's engaged, you know. To some hayseed back on the farm. She couldn't even afford a first-class ticket on her own. She's a maid for her old aunt. Bet she thought she'd get away with a piece of jewelry and buy her family a house!"

Victoria and Georgina guffaw with laughter, and your heart continues to sink.

"Ralph," you begin, not knowing what to say next.

His eyes fill with tears, and he takes off down the hallway.

"Ralph!" you call, taking a step to go after him. "I can explain!" Victoria and Georgia shift to the side and block your way.

"Oh, look, another game ends with Ralph in tears," Victoria snarks. "What a refreshing change of place."

"Pace," Georgina corrects.

"How do you two sleep at night?" you spit.

"On feather pillows," Victoria smirks. "And you? Under whoever's desperate enough?"

The slap that you land on her face echoes through the hallway. She stares, jaw dropped and handprint blossoming. You stomp past her to look for Ralph.

After the third steward asks if you needed help finding your room, you retreat to it. Aunt Molly is already asleep. You fall into bed, still wearing your clothes, and cry yourself to sleep.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You run into Ralph, talk a lot, and make up stories! Words: 3.3k

Breakfast is a tense affair.

You try to pretend like everything is normal. As if every time you look up, in any direction, there is not a young lady staring at you. Is this what circus animals feel like? Step right up and witness the girl who ruined everyone's fun!

You eat silently and keep your eyes on your plate.

"What's going on?" Aunt Molly asks, her voice hushed.

"I'm just not feeling well," you lie.

"Is that why every girl in here is giving you the stink-eye?"

You try not to look as pathetic as you feel.

"What did you do?" she whispers. Not accusing. Just asking. You consider it for a moment. Do you really have to explain all the awful events of yesterday over breakfast? With them all around you? Would you ever actually admit to being a part of a game like that?

"The right thing," you eventually answer. Your aunt's mouth twitches into a smile, and you feel a little better.

"What are your plans for the day? A few of us are thinking of visiting the Turkish Baths. Would you like to come?"

"No, thank you," you smile with a shake of your head. "I think I'll just take in some fresh air on deck."

"Alright," she says, a little suspiciously. And she's right to be. You're going to visit the library you spotted in the lounge, grab a book you haven't read before, and you're going to hide in your room with it until she drags you back out again.

When breakfast is finished, you part ways, agree to meet back here for lunch, and scan your surroundings. The coast is clear, so you begin your brisk walk upstairs, hoping to make it to the library and back to your room undetected.

You sigh in relief as you step through the doors of the lounge. Nearly there. As soon as you're close enough to read the titles on the spines, you start scanning for something you'd like to read. You should probably grab a random book and go, but there are just so many choices! It's not like Victoria's gang would be loitering around the library, after all.

When you finally make your selection, your sense of urgency returns. You should get back to your room. You turn to make a hasty exit, and immediately crash into someone. Your book falls to the floor, along with his.

"I'm dreadfully sorry!" the man says, already reaching to pick them up.

"It was my fault," you assure him. "I wasn't watching…" You trail off when you realize that you've run into Ralph Penbury.

"Are you alright?" he asks, holding your book out to you. You take it, thankful there are no bent pages in your borrowed book, and hold it to your chest.

"Yes," you breathe. The dark circles beneath his eyes indicate that he hasn't slept well. He looks quite shaken. Your eyes drift to the book in his arms, and you smile, realizing your plans had been the same. "Were you going to hide in your room with a book as well?"

He looks down and blushes, then raises his head with the tiniest of smiles. "Actually, Victoria is holding court in our private sitting room, and I thought I'd hide in here."

"Plotting my demise, I suppose?" you joke.

"Are you frightened?" Ralph asks, eyes wide and genuine.

"No, not frightened," you say with a shake of your head. "Just… nonconfrontational." Ralph nods in understanding. "Do you think she'll find something else to be angry about before the trip's over?"

"She probably has already," he chuckles. You do too. His laugh is infectious. "Would you like to…" His hopeful face falls as he drifts off.

"Would I like to what, Ralph?"

He shifts his weight on the plush carpet and looks nervous all of a sudden. "W-would you like to go for a walk on deck? While they're downstairs?"

"I'd love to," you smile. His face brightens again, and he offers you his arm, just like last night. You take it gratefully and let him lead you out of the lounge.

"Oh! Let me take that!" he says hurriedly, holding his book out and gesturing for you to put yours on top of it.

"Ralph, I can carry a book."

"Please?" he asks. You can't say no to those big brown eyes. You place your book on top of his, and he holds them at his side. You stroll the deck, breathing in the lovely sea air and enjoying his company. But the quiet somehow feels different than last night. You feel obligated to fill it.

"I bet the girls adored you in school," you remark.

"Pardon?"

"In stories, boys always offer to carry a girl's books," you explain. "But I believe you're the first boy who's ever done that for me. I bet when you were in school, the girls loved you for it."

"I… er…" Ralph chuckles nervously. "I went to an all-boys school."

"I wish mine had been all girls," you lament. "The boys were horrible."

"I'm sorry," he says quickly.

"The boys I grew up with were nothing like you," you assure him. "I bet you could teach them all a thing or two about being a gentleman."

His face goes crimson, and you try to hide your smile.

"What was your school like?"

The conversation carries on, nonstop, until a bugle sounds.

"Is it lunchtime already?" you ask in shock.

Ralph checks his pocket watch, and holds it in front of you so that you can see the time for yourself.

"Did we really walk in a circle all morning?" Ralph asks.

"I believe we did," you laugh, looking around at the people shuffling inside. You'd been so engrossed in conversation, you'd lost track of time, and forgotten all about your plan to hide in your room with the book Ralph had been carrying all morning.

"Would you care to…" Ralph bites his lip at the sudden onset of nervousness. You give him an encouraging smile, and he recovers quickly. "Victoria will be in one of the cafés," he explains. "Says it feels more exclusive. Would you like me to find out which one, so we can visit the other?"

"That sounds lovely, Ralph… but I'm supposed to meet my aunt for lunch in the dining saloon," you say apologetically. His face falls, and so does your heart. "But perhaps we could meet afterwards? I'd love to hear more about your summer holidays at the manor house."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Of course," you smile.

"Alright," he says, face brightening again. "Shall we reunite right here at 2:30?"

"Perfect!" you grin.

"Would you like…?" Ralph offers you the book he's been toting around all morning, and you take it.

"We did a lot of reading today, didn't we?" you wink.

Ralph laughs.

"I'll see you soon, Ralph," you smile as you take a step back.

"I can't wait!" he says excitedly.

You head to your room to freshen up, where you run into your aunt.

"I knew it," she says as you enter.

"You knew what?"

"I knew you were holed up with a book somewhere."

"Actually," you laugh and drop the book on your bed, "I didn't read any at all. I ran into someone in the library, and we've been walking the deck and talking all morning. We're meeting again after lunch."

"Oh?" she grins. "What's her name?"

"His name is Ralph Penbury." You feel your face heating up, and busy yourself with getting ready for lunch.

"Oh?" she asks, much more interested now.

"Don't get excited, we talked about school and our families and going on holiday."

"Going on holiday? Dare I assume your new friend is a proper British gent?"

"Dare I assume you're going to tease me about this all day? Or are we going to lunch?"

Aunt Molly laughs and starts getting ready.

Lunch passes uneventfully, but seems to take forever. Aunt Molly notices you checking the clock every minute, and tells you to go on… and that you can invite your new friend to dinner, if you like.

You scurry back to the deck, as if waiting there will make time pass faster than waiting in the dining saloon.

You return to the place you and Ralph had agreed to meet - the little section overlooking the lower decks, where you'd been when lunch was announced - and grasp the railing. You close your eyes for a moment to appreciate the sun on your face and the wind in your hair. You felt so free out here.

"Hello," a voice says from behind you. You turn with a smile to see Ralph, standing cautiously a few feet way.

"Hello, Ralph," you greet, unable to contain your smile. Ralph's expression soon morphs into a happy one. His eyes sparkle as he steps closer, coming to stand by the rail with you.

"Have you been here long?" he asks. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting." He checks his pocket watch nervously.

"I arrived mere moments before you," you laugh. You'd tried to take your time, but it didn't seem possible. The thought of spending more time with Ralph Penbury put a certain, as Aunt Molly had put it on your way to lunch, "pep in your step." You'd never met anyone like him before. He was sweet, and funny, and genuine in a way you couldn't get enough of.

"What were you doing?"

"Just enjoying the fresh air," you explain.

"Oh," he says, looking a bit… disappointed? "I thought you might be making up stories."

"Making up stories?"

"About people… it's stupid, forget I mentioned it," he says quickly, facing forward. His cheeks burn red.

"No, please! I'd love to know."

He looks at you with a calculating expression, as if he's trying to determine whether you're mocking him or not, and eventually the corner of his mouth quirks itself into a sly smile.

"It's something I do to pass the time. I make up stories about people. Who they are, where they're from, where they're going and why."

"That sounds like fun," you tell him.

"My sister says it's stupid," he mumbles.

"Your sister doesn't really strike me as the type who enjoys thinking about other people," you say without thinking. Your statement leads to a brief panic, wondering if you'd overstepped.

Ralph tries and fails to suppress a smile, and you relax.

"Have you imagined my story?" You'd covered a lot of subjects this morning, but the life waiting for you at home had been carefully sidestepped.

"I may have," Ralph says with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Are you going to tell me what kind of exciting life you've imagined for me?"

Ralph shakes his head.

"Well!" You huff and stick your nose up in the air in a gesture of high-class snobbery, causing you both to dissolve into a fit of giggles.

"What about him?" You ask, subtly nodding your head toward a twenty-something man in a nice suit, leaning on the rail nearby and staring into the distance.

"Hm." Ralph stares at the man so intensely, you can almost see the wheels turning inside his beautifully shaped head. "He's had a dream about a beautiful woman with long red hair who lives in Boston. He's thought of no one else for weeks. So he's going there to find her, and bring her home with him, and marry her."

"That's lovely," you breathe.

Ralph grins. "Your turn."

"Alright," you respond with a matching grin. "Who's my subject?"

Ralph scans the area, and nods toward a woman who's fallen asleep in her chair, a large black hat covering her face.

"Black hat?" He nods in confirmation, and you stare at her sleeping figure until a story comes to you. "She's left her awful husband, sold all her jewels, and plans to start a new life in America. She wants to move to some small town, rent a room from some sweet old lady, and become a schoolteacher. But right now, she's just happy to be free and in the sunshine, surrounded by happy strangers."

Your gaze lingers on her for a moment before returning to Ralph, seeking his approval. He smiles and nods, and you feel a wave of relief wash over you.

"That was quite good for a first time. Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

You laugh. "No, I don't believe I have. But now that I've started, I don't know that I'll be able to stop."

"Excellent! Will you think of me when you play?" he asks with pride.

"Every time," you assure him, feeling a sudden burst of fondness for the boy whose heart you helped shatter last night. "Shall we continue?" He nods excitedly, and you search the area for your next subject. "The lady in the yellow dress." Ralph zeroes in on her almost instantly, and his face cracks into a wonderful smile.

"Five days ago, she received word that her childhood sweetheart was set to marry someone else. She purchased her ticket immediately, and is on her way to stop the wedding and win him back. She prays every morning and night that the ship docks on time, because she won't have a moment to lose."

"Are all of your stories so romantic?" you ask.

"Unfortunately," he grumbles, looking at the deck. Poor boy.

"I don't think it's unfortunate at all," you tell him gently. "I think it's wonderful that you imagine these epic love stories for everyone. Your stories may be the closest to real love some people ever get." You look to the sea and swallow the lump forming in your throat. "The world would be a much better place if everyone had a heart as big as yours."

After a moment of silence, you hazard a glance at Ralph. When your eyes meet his, it's as if the breath has been knocked from your lungs. You stare at each other for seconds that feel like hours… and then… a roar of laughter erupts from a crowd of men on the deck below.

"Right," Ralph says, clearing his throat. "Who's next?"

You eventually retreated to a pair of deck chairs, but the game continued all morning. You and Ralph imagined stories about jewel thieves, secret lovers, runaways, time-travelers, and one shaggy gentleman who might turn into a werewolf on the next full moon. You'd never had so much fun in your life.

When the bugle sounds again, you remember Aunt Molly's invitation. You hadn't been sure at lunchtime, but now? You couldn't wait for your two favorite people on board to meet.

"Would you like to join my aunt and I for dinner?" you ask.

His face lights up, and then darkens. What's going in that head of yours, Ralph Penbury?

"I wouldn't want to impose," he mumbles.

"You wouldn't be," you assure him. "I told her about the boy who managed to keep my nose out of a book all morning, and she was flabbergasted. She'd love to meet you!"

Ralph still looks hesitant.

"And she can tell you all about her horses!"

"Alright," he finally agrees. You'd told him about her this morning, and he'd seemed fascinated by the idea of a woman running a business. On a farm, no less! "If you're sure?"

"Absolutely," you smile. "I'll meet you in the reception area at 7:00?"

You part ways once again. Aunt Molly is delighted that you've extended her dinner invitation, and that your new friend has accepted. You dress quickly and arrive in the lobby to find him already waiting.

He greets you with a smile that brightens the whole room.

"That's him," you whisper, while you walk slowly to meet him halfway. Aunt Molly spots him immediately.

"Oh, if that isn't the cutest little bean I've ever seen," she remarks. You're glad Ralph isn't close enough to have heard it.

"Aunt Molly, this is Ralph Penbury. Mr. Penbury, this is my favorite aunt and traveling companion."

They clasp hands and greet each other warmly. The crowd begins to move, and you move with it. The three of you proceed through the door together and take your seats.

"Tell me about yourself, Ralph," your aunt insists.

The conversation flows beautifully. Ralph recaps his life story for the second time that day, and you smile and nod fondly at your favorite parts. He's so animated and fun to watch. His big brown eyes tell a story of their own. They sparkle with excitement when he talks about traveling, and seem to grow dim when he talks about his family.

Your Aunt Molly is a fine judge of character, but a poor poker player. You can see on her face that she adores him. She laughs at all the right times, and asks him follow-up questions that he's more than happy to answer. He returns the favor when she tells him about herself and her horse farm.

You hardly said a word through several courses of fine food, but you were happy just to observe. You were quite glad that Victoria and her herd were too good to eat the food that was included with the price of the ticket. Her insistence on patronizing the other restaurants meant that you could enjoy a wonderful meal without worrying about her at all. It was perfect.

After dinner, you and Ralph decided to head outside for another walk and a bit of fresh air.

"I quite like your aunt," Ralph says as you step into the cool night air. He slips off his jacket without a word and drapes it across your shoulders.

"Thank you," you smile. "I quite like her, too."

"She reminds me of my Uncle Albert," Ralph smiles. "That's who we're going to see. Victoria and I last visited him three years ago. It was such a ghastly trip. It took nearly two weeks to arrive! Imagine, two weeks on a ship with my sister!"

"Must I?" you grin.

Ralph laughs. "In the end, it was worth it. My uncle throws the best parties. He showed us all the sights. I love New York!"

"Have you been anywhere else in the States?" you ask.

"No," he admits. "What else is there?"

"Everything," you smile. "There are mountains and rivers and deserts and swamps. Big towns and small towns and ghost towns. More animals than you can even imagine."

"Really?"

You nod.

"I'd quite like to see some of that."

It's on the tip of your tongue to offer to take him there. Would that be out of bounds? You've just met the man. What's gotten into you?

You smile at him, and he smiles back.

You continue talking and walking the promenade until your legs grow tired, then settle onto a bench. You lean your head back to look at the stars, and Ralph copies you.

"Thank you for inviting me to dinner," he says quietly. "And for listening to me today. I'm sorry I talk so much."

"Don't apologize, Ralph. I'm quite happy I got to know you."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Then would you…" Ralph trails off, and you turn your head toward him.

"Would I what, Ralph?"

"Would you like to meet me tomorrow? It's alright if you don't, I know I'm--"

"I'd love to," you cut him off before he can self-destruct. "How about we meet right here, after breakfast?"

"Alright," he grins at the sky.

After a while, Ralph walks you back to your room and bids you goodnight with another kiss to the back of your hand. You're glad that your aunt is already asleep when you step inside your cabin, because you can't hide your smile.

You don't know what you're going to do tomorrow, but you're happy you get to do it with him.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You join the gals on a mission below decks, officially meet Ralph, and have a crisis of conscience! Words: 3.3k

"Are you going to sleep all day?"

"Yes," you grumble into your fluffy pillow, wishing your aunt would move along and let you finish a wonderful dream about dancing.

"You can sleep when you get home, come on!"

You keep your eyes shut, clinging to the last wisps of your dream. You want to see his face. To know whose arms were wrapped around you, floating with you across the dance floor like you were weightless.

A smack to your rear plucks you from the dream world and drops you back into your cabin. The lights are on, and your aunt stands above you impatiently.

"Good morning, sunshine. Ready for breakfast?"

You groan and haul yourself out of bed. The next hour is spent making yourselves presentable. The hour after that? Eating a breakfast that, you have to admit, was worth getting out of bed for.

After a walk around the promenade, your aunt drags you to the swimming pool. You find the concept a bit odd, but how often does one get to swim aboard a ship sailing on the ocean?

You didn't really know what to expect, given that it was the first of its kind, but the swimming pool was fabulous. It was much larger than you'd imagined it would be, and over five feet deep. You happily swapped your dress for a rented swimming costume and spent over an hour splashing around with other curious ladies.

Titanic was scheduled to stop near Ireland to pick up a few new passengers just before midday, and it would be the last land anyone saw for days. You didn't want to miss it. You and Aunt Molly went to the deck and sat in the sun as you watched the ship approach the coast. You stayed there until time for lunch, then went below deck to have another wonderful meal. The time seemed to fly by.

Molly decided to stay and chat with the ladies after lunch, so you went back to watch the departure from Queenstown by yourself. It had grown windier, but you didn't mind the fresh air. You wrapped your arms around yourself and stared at the land in the distance, wondering if you'd ever see it again.

This may be your last grand adventure. It had been a wonderful trip, and you'd been lucky enough to experience a great many things that most people would never get to. But were you really ready to go back home and resume your normal life? To plan a traditional wedding and be an obedient wife and an attentive mother in the little town you'd grown up in? Forever?

"What are you doing up here all alone?"

You whip your head around to see Victoria, Georgina, and the girls from your table last night. Your face breaks into a smile.

"I'm just taking one last look at Ireland. It's the last land we'll see until we reach New York."

"How dreadfully boring!" Victoria laughs. "Come with us, we're going below to pick out a peasant for Nora!"

A girl in the back of the group blushes, and you recognize her as last night's loser; the final dance partner of Victoria's brother.

"Alright," you smile, falling into step as the group proceeds inside to the elevators. Victoria secures directions to the third class accommodations from the lift attendant - who warns her away from the unpolished people below - but she reminds him that she paid for the privileges of a first class passenger, and can go wherever she damn well pleases. You aren't sure if that's truly the case or not, but it seemed to convince the nervous operator. You split into two groups and ride the lifts down into the belly of the ship.

Victoria leads the way to the third class lounge with determination. When you enter, the room falls silent.

"Alright, Jane," Victoria orders, "Pick one!"

Jane scans the faces beginning to whisper, and points at a man you'd imagine to be Italian and in his 60s, sitting at a table playing cards. "That one!"

The girls giggle. You feel like you're in a zoo. Only, you're one of the animals. Every pair of eyes in the room is on the group of first class girls who'd come down to gawk.

"Go on!" Victoria grabs Nora's shoulders and pushes her forward. The girl stumbles at first, but finds her footing and marches right up to the elderly stranger, bends at the waist, and kisses him. She stands and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, smudging her lipstick slightly, and returns to the group triumphantly.

They howl and cackle and congratulate her.

You wish you'd slept in.

The man sits there in a daze. You wonder what might be going through his head. A strange rich woman, just walking up and kissing you on the mouth? That surely doesn't happen every day.

A little boy, walking like he'd just learned how, wobbles toward the group and distracts you from your discomfort. You watch curiously, wondering what he's after. He reaches for Victoria's dress, which is covered with shiny metallic beads.

She sees him coming and leaps back with a squeal, snatching her dress out of his grasp. He giggles and wobbles faster, thinking she's playing a game with him.

Victoria keeps backing away, elbowing her way through the gaggle of other girls. When they spot him, they scramble and take off in the opposite direction, like the child is diseased. He pouts when they disappear from sight without playing with him. You wish you had something to give him; a trinket, a flower, anything to show the poor child that at least one of you is a human with a beating heart.

His mother rushes over to snatch him up, giving you a frightful glare, and you rush down the hall in search of the girls you'd arrived with.

"It's so disgusting down here, I need fresh air and a clean dress," is the first thing you hear from Victoria, who hasn't even noticed you were missing.

Everyone follows her back to the lifts. You bring up the rear. Nora the Loser is dismissed, and sent back to wherever the other girls competing for Ralph's affection - and a "heart-wrenchingly expensive" necklace, you'd recently learned - were spending their time.

You want to retreat and find a book, or go exploring on your own, but the devil on your shoulder tells you to stay. How often does an opportunity to observe the idle rich present itself, after all? Even if they are "heart-wrenchingly" horrible? Perhaps you'll write a book about them someday.

You step onto the promenade deck and breathe in the ocean air, feeling better already. The group walks in a slow circle around the ship, and you listen to the girls gossip about fashion and other passengers and the like. You didn't have a lot to contribute, but they didn't seem to mind.

Eventually, they stop for refreshments in the Café Parisien, a lovely room full of comfortable wicker chairs and ivy-covered trellises. When the gossip turns to white noise, and you take in the details of the decor. You've been to so many breathtaking places on your vacation, but somehow, this brand new ship seems just as wonderful as architectural wonders that have been standing for thousands of years. You could wander this ship for a lifetime and still not notice all the fine details.

"Hello!"

An enthusiastic voice breaks you out of your reverie, and you turn to face the smiling young man at Victoria's side. Right. Her brother, Ralph. The object of many young ladies' affections.

"Hello!" You can't quite match his tone, but you return his smile as best you can. He beams, like no one has ever said hello to him before. His big brown eyes twinkle with excitement, and you wonder if his dimpled cheeks are starting to hurt. It's absolutely adorable.

"Down, Ralph!" Victoria snaps. "She's not for you!"

His face falls, your heart pangs. The poor boy shifts bashfully and stares at the ground.

"It's nearly time to dress for dinner," he says quietly. "You said you wanted to pick out my outfit."

Victoria smirks. "Go to your room and wait for me."

He retreats without a word. You watch his slumped shoulders exit the café doors and wonder what happened to the happy boy who was dancing with different dames all night. He seems like a different person now. Why does he let her boss him around like this? Victoria turns to make sure he's gone, and then leans in conspiratorially. All the girls at the table mirror her.

"Do you want to know what tonight's task is?"

The girls hold their breath and wait.

"They'll have to kiss him! The last person to do so will have to go down below and invite a steerage rat to dinner in the lounge!"

The girls gasp and cover their gaping mouths.

"In public?"

"Where they'll be seen?"

"Oh, Victoria, that's simply wretched!"

"I know!" she says smugly, leaning back in her chair and popping a pastry in her mouth.

The girls giggle, but your excitement about being included is definitely beginning to wane. Is this fair to the man who will be chosen to be part of their spectacle? Could he refuse a first class lady? Would it be fair to Victoria's brother, who was being used for their amusement?

"Alright, let's go dress for dinner," Victoria orders, draining her glass and standing. Everyone else follows suit. "Wait until you see the awful thing I'm going to put Ralph in, you're all going to die laughing!"

You broke from the group to go back to your cabin and dress for dinner with Aunt Molly. You helped each other into fresh outfits and returned to the saloon for another exceptional meal that helped take your mind off the girls you'd escaped. They'd all gone to the À la Carte Restaurant, but you told them that you'd promised your aunt that you would join her for dinner. It wasn't a lie; you just didn't tell them that she would've happily sent you off with people your own age. But you didn't want to. You needed a break from them.

By the time the dessert plates were removed, you thought you might give socializing one last try. This was a rare opportunity for you, after all. And if nothing else, it would make you appreciate being ignored by the other girls like them when you returned home.

You excuse yourself from the dining saloon and return to the lounge, arriving just in time to see Nora pull Ralph to the dance floor. Last night's loss has clearly not disqualified her from continuing the game.

"There she is! You missed all the fun," Georgina pouts, pulling you into the chair next to her. "I stalled Ralph so Victoria could tell the girls about the new incentive she thought of during dinner: Take Ralph to bed and keep him out of Victoria's hair for a full twenty-four hours, and you'll get to spend the rest of the trip with us! Look how she's hanging all over him!"

Your eyes drift back to Ralph and Nora. He's telling her something, and she's laughing frequently and loudly. Touching him as much as she can get away with in public. It's all fake. He can see that, right?

"Does Ralph know that he's playing a game?" you ask.

"No!" Georgina laughs. "It's just a bit of fun. He's hopeless and pathetic. They're bored and loose. Victoria's a genius, don't you think?" You open your mouth as if to answer, and then think better of it. Georgina notices your change in mood. "Don't you realize how lucky you are? Other girls are willing to be defiled by him for a chance to walk the promenade with us. You got in free of charge!"

This is why you never fit in with the girls at home; because they're exactly like Victoria and her gang. Scheming wretches who only care about social status, or money, or the latest fashion, or today's gossip, or having fun at someone else's expense. They don't care about people, or feelings, or things that actually matter. They're just like your mother. You'd rather be alone than be part of this.

You get up without another word and exit through the nearest door. It's chilly out, but it's better than being in there. You walk until you reach an open section of deck and find a bench. You sit for a moment, staring at the bright stars. It's so peaceful out here.

You lie down, stretching out across half of the double-sided bench, and stare upward so that all you see is the night sky. The stars look so much clearer than they do at home. Is it because there are no city lights to interfere with them? Or has your world really changed so much, that even the stars look different now?

You lie there and ponder until you hear footsteps and giggling. Pick another bench, you beg silently. Just keep walking.

"Here we are," a man announces before two bodies come to rest on the other side of your bench. Do you get up and leave? Pretend you're not here? What if they notice you? Should you pretend to be asleep?

You hear them kiss, and wish you could roll off of this bench and land two decks below.

"Dearest," the girl purrs. "Do you think you could show me your stateroom?"

"My stateroom?" the man asks.

You know that voice.

"Yes," she breathes, probably in his ear. "I bet it's fabulous."

"But… but…" he protests.

"I'd like to show you something," she whispers suggestively.

"Wh-what would you like to show me?" he stutters.

"Shhhh. It's a secret."

His breath hitches. You wonder where her hands are, and wish you were literally anywhere else.

"D-don't you think we ought to get to know each other first?" he asks nervously.

"I know all I need to know, lovey," she purrs.

You sense a shift on the other side of the bench, like he's trying to slide away. He yelps. She laughs her stupid fake laugh again.

You scoff.

And then you freeze.

You didn't mean to.

If discovered, you planned on pretending to be asleep.

But two heads peek over the top of the bench at you. You're caught. Do you apologize, or go on the offensive?

"What is it that you know about him?" you ask. Offensive it is.

"Pardon me?" she asks.

You sit up. "This person you've shared a whole two dances with. What do you know about him?"

"Plenty of things!"

"Such as?"

The question seems to stun her. And of course it does; he's only a pawn in a silly little game, isn't he?

"The reason he's on board? His favorite course during tonight's dinner?" She stares blankly. "Here's an easy one: What color are his eyes?"

She glances at him before answering: "Blue, obviously."

You might laugh if the brown-eyed boy sitting next to her on the dark bench beneath the stars didn't look so crushed.

"Do you even like him?"

"Of course I do!" she insists, hand over her heart as if you've offended her to the very core.

"Then why don't you tell him what you're really after? Or would you rather wait twenty-four hours and let him find out on his own? Would that be more fun for you?"

You run out of steam when you glance toward Ralph and see the recognition dawning on his face.

"Nora?" he asks pitifully. "Is this a game?"

She scoffs and gets off the bench, stomping back toward the lounge. You and Ralph are left alone.

"I'm sorry, Ralph," you tell him gently.

His head hangs, and your "sorry" doesn't seem like enough.

"I'm sorry that they treat you this way, and I'm sorry that I didn't speak up sooner. It's not fair, what they were doing to you."

He shakes his head. "I should know better by now. No one will ever really want me."

"I'm sure that's not true," you argue.

"It is," he sniffles. "Everyone knows it. I'm annoying and pathetic and no one will ever want me. Even my own twin says so."

Twin? Victoria is his twin, and still treating him this way? Your heart breaks for the poor boy.

"I know that I haven't known you for very long, but would you like to know what I think?"

He peeks up at you curiously through his wet lashes, so you continue.

"I think you're a handsome young man with a big heart and a nice smile," you begin slowly. "One day, you will find someone who deserves you. And she won't give a damn what your sister, or anyone else, has to say about you. Because her love will be real, and that will be all that matters."

He ducks his head and wipes away a tear.

"And you're a terrific dancer, too," you add to lighten the mood.

"Thank you," he chuckles, as another tear streaks down his cheek.

"You've ruined everything!" The shrill voice of Victoria cuts through the night like a knife aimed directly at your eardrums.

A crowd has gathered to see who's ruined everyone's fun. Victoria and Georgina are leading the pack. They stand square-shouldered and glare like you've ruined their lives rather than a stupid game. You wonder if you should get up and curtsy.

"We trusted you!" "We treated you like one of us!" "This is what we get for associating with people who clearly do not belong in first class!" Their voices overlap, but you get the gist. They stand there expectantly, as if waiting for an apology.

You give them a shrug.

"Ugh!" Victoria spins and stomps back toward the lounge. Georgina follows, and then the rest of their herd.

You let out a slow breath when they disappear from view. Where do you go from here? You and Ralph sit in silence until you can't stand it anymore.

"Well…" you chuckle. "I supposed I should get to bed, before they decide to come back and toss me into the sea."

"May I walk you?" Ralph asks, trying to dry his eyes subtly as he rises from his side of the bench.

"You don't have to do that," you smile.

"A lady ought not be wandering alone at nighttime, even on a ship as grand as this," he says, puffing his chest out in an attempt to appear broader than he is.

"If you insist?"

He nods and holds his arm out. You take it gently.

"I'm sharing a cabin with my aunt on A-Deck."

Ralph nods in acknowledgement and leads you the long way around instead of to the door you'd both recently come out of.

The walk passes in silence.

"This is it," you say quietly, turning to face him when you reach your door. "Thank you for the escort, Mr… I'm afraid I don't know your surname."

"Penbury," he supplies with a sad smile. "But please call me Ralph."

"Ralph it is, then." You introduce yourself, thank him once more, and he leans down to kiss the back of your hand like a gentleman who hasn't just had his heart broken.

"Good night, kind sir," you whisper when he stands.

"Good night, lovely lady," he whispers back.

You step inside your room, close the door, and listen to him walk away before getting dressed for bed.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You arrive on the Titanic and make some new friends! Words: 2.3k

You did a lot of living over the next few months.

You and your aunt had become inseparable. You visited landmarks and museums, shopped in the best shops and slept on the most comfortable mattresses, ate the most scrumptious food and drank life-altering wine. You told her things you'd never told anyone.

Most ladies had to travel with maids in tow, for assisting with womanly things like corsets and hair styling, but you and your aunt made do with just the two of you. You wished on more than one occasion that she'd been your mother. But if she had been, this trip might not have happened. And it truly was the adventure of a lifetime that she'd promised you.

However, you were on the final leg of it. You were homeward bound, and would soon have to face the reality of your mother and the fiancé you'd practically begged to allow you to go on this trip.

But not for another week.

You had one more week to figure out your entire life… or set it aside and allow yourself to enjoy the largest and most luxurious ocean liner to ever set sail: The RMS Titanic.

You and Aunt Molly ended a wonderful stay in Paris by boarding a train bound for Cherbourg. You stared out the window and silently watched France pass you by while pondering your future. Would you ever make it back here again?

When you arrived at the harbor, you boarded a small vessel that would ferry you to the massive ship you had yet to set eyes on - for she had encountered a delay of some sort and was late to arrive - and waited on it for nearly an hour before the ship finally came into view.

You could hardly believe your eyes. How could something so massive stay afloat? It seemed to defy the laws of physics. And unsinkable? Perhaps the laws of God, too. The thought was intimidating, but the excitement of the other passengers waiting to board her was infectious. This was going to be amazing. An experience you'd remember for a lifetime. You couldn't wait to see what she looked like inside.

Until you arrived at the narrow gangway that led from your tiny toy-sized boat to an open door in the biggest hunk of iron that had ever managed to float.

"Just don't look down, miss," a smiling member of the crew had told you as he reached out to help you step onto the plank. Just like the pirate stories, you thought to yourself. You gulped and bravely walked forward through your panic, trying to ignore the choppy sea in the harbor below.

You made it across, as did Aunt Molly, and a steward escorted you to your cabin. The room was much smaller than the hotels you'd been staying in, but it was cute and the beds were comfortable. There were two beds, a sofa, a writing desk, and a washbasin. The ladies' lavatory was just down the hall. What more could a girl want?

After all of today's traveling, you had half a mind to just fall into your brand new bed and sleep 'til morning, but your aunt wouldn't hear of it. "You can sleep when you get home!" she'd argued, shoving you in the direction of the lavatory to freshen up.

Titanic's arrival in Cherbourg had been behind schedule, so you didn't have time to change for dinner. You'd been wearing coats when you arrived, and hadn't seen anyone on this ship before, so you didn't think anyone would know the difference. Not changing before dinner felt almost scandalous, like keeping a secret or getting away with something wicked.

You'd made it to the dining saloon just in time. You and your aunt were seated at a table with a few other people you'd never met. Molly was quite the conversationalist, so you let her steer it while you focused on the food. Each course was better than the last, and by the time dessert was served, you were grateful to your aunt for thwarting your attempt to crawl into bed and sleep the evening away.

You surveyed the room after the plates had disappeared from the table and found that the men were retreating to the smoking room, and a flock of young ladies were exiting through the main door.

"Why don't you go join the other young folks?" your aunt asked, as if she could read your mind. "You've been keeping an old lady company for ages, you ought to spend some time with people your own age."

"Actually, I thought I might just go--" She cut you off with a look, knowing you were going to try and weasel out of social interaction.

"My niece went to meet some of the other young ladies in the lounge on A-Deck," a woman in a green dress at the next table supplied helpfully. "I'm sure they'd love to have you!"

Molly stared you down.

"Thank you, that sounds lovely." You forced a smile and stood, discarding your napkin and discreetly inspecting your dress for crumbs. You exited the dining saloon and started your ascent up the grand staircase. Slowly. You wanted to soak in all the exquisite details. Not because you'd rather go to bed than talk to people.

As you neared your destination, a young woman in a slinky dress and a lot of jewelry chatting on the stairs in front of you laughed loudly and turned… but her long dress caught beneath her heel, and she slipped. She shrieked and flailed wildly, and you instinctively reached out to catch her.

Mercifully, when she fell backward into you, your backside collided with the banister and stabilized you, rather than sending you both tumbling down the stairs. You helped her stand again, then glanced down the stairs with a breath of relief. It was a long way down.

"Are you alright?" you asked.

"I told that damned seamstress that the hem was too long!" she complained in a posh British accent, angrily jerking her dress up past her ankles. The friend she'd been talking to reached out to straighten her necklace. When the girl finally looked down at you from the step above, she asked, "Who are you? Why haven't I seen you before?"

You introduced yourself and explained that you'd just gotten on at Cherbourg.

"Are you looking for a bit of romance on your trip?" the girl winked.

"No," you smiled.

"Oh?" she pouted. "Why not?"

"I'm engaged," you admitted, a bit reluctantly.

The two women looked you up and down, making you feel like you were back in school and had offended the popular girls somehow.

"Come to the lounge with us," the flaily one said, turning without waiting for an acceptance. You hesitated, but followed the pair. That's where you were going anyway, after all. As you entered the lounge, you realized that they hadn't told you their names.

The girls led you to a circle of other young ladies, all stunningly beautiful and looking as though they'd stepped out of the pages of a fashion magazine. They'd lugged - or had stewards lug - a ring of chairs around a tiny table.

"Darlings! I've just a had a near-death experience! Meet my savior!"

Your flaily friend introduced you and dramatically dropped into a chair. Her friend took a seat too, and patted the seat next to her. You joined the circle, albeit cautiously. This could never happen at home.

You weren't the richest, or the prettiest, or the funniest. Once upon a time, you'd had opinions, and questions, and thoughts of your own… things that a girl of your age was not supposed to have. After years of being silenced, ignored, and excluded, you'd finally just stopped trying. But perhaps it might be fun to try and blend in for a while? It's not like you'd ever see these girls again after the ship docked.

You sat there and observed as the girls talked amongst themselves. They all seemed quite intent on watching the women filing into the room. Some of them stopped at the door and spoke to a girl in a purple dress who looked to be signing them up for something in her notebook. After a while, she came to your circle.

"Alright, Victoria, we're all sorted," she said conspirationally to the flaily one. You made a mental note of her name. The girls started scanning the room, and not knowing what else to do, you copied them.

"What are we sorted for?" you whispered to the girl next to you, when you couldn't stand the suspense anymore.

"See the boy in that god-awful gold jacket?" You quickly locate him, sipping something bubbly at a table on the other side of the room. His leg jiggled on the floor, and he dribbled a little of his drink down his chin and tried to quickly wipe it away. "That's Victoria's brother, Ralph. He's been irritating her since they left for Southhampton, and she's had enough. So she's made a game out of keeping him busy."

"What kind of game?" you ask quietly.

"A fun one, for us!" Victoria grins from a few chairs away. You hadn't realized she'd been listening. "We've signed on a herd of slags, and if they can't keep him busy, I may have to throw him overboard!"

The girls around you laugh, and you smile awkwardly. Had she not been trying to recruit you to the herd of slags just a few minutes ago? After you'd saved her from falling down the stairs?

Music begins to play in the lounge, and the occupants of several distant tables rise at once. You jerk your head in their direction in surprise, and watch the girls descend on the boy in the gold jacket. He goes red, but seems to enjoy the attention. A man, being asked to dance by a flock of first-class women? He must be in Heaven.

"Alright, that should keep him - and them - occupied for the rest of the night. Alright, place your bets!"

The girl with the notebook turns to a fresh page, readies her pen, and looks up expectantly. The circle starts speaking all at once:

"Blue dress and dumpy bum!"

"Mole Girl!"

"The one in her grandmother's clothes!"

"Frizzy hair and big nose!"

"The one who looks… she's not actually pregnant, is she?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Her, then."

"The one wearing the curtains from her stateroom!"

"Even Ralph would say no to a ginger, wouldn't he?"

All the girls snicker, and you feel like you've missed something.

"Alright, who's your pick?" the girl with the notebook asks, pen poised.

"It's alright," you smile, trying to wave her off.

"You have to pick someone!" Victoria insists.

"What are we betting on?"

"The last girl to dance with Ralph has to go down below and kiss someone from steerage," Victoria says, like you've been part of this group for more than a few minutes. "If you pick the loser, you get to pick a peasant for her to snog tomorrow!" Laughter erupts from the table, and although part of you feels like you've made a huge mistake… you scan the contenders and utter, "pink frilly dress."

Your racehorse is recorded, and Victoria snaps her fingers to get the attention of a steward. "Drinks!" she demands.

This isn't generally the kind of thing you enjoy, but this whole trip has been about experiencing new things. Why shouldn't you finally connect with people your own age? This is what they do for fun. This is how normal young people spend time; drinking and laughing and dancing the night away. (The constant flow of flavored liqueurs helps considerably.)

Still, something didn't feel quite right. But you pushed the feelings aside and listened to stories about humiliating mothers and annoying brothers and the best places to shop for lingerie. When the conversation became dull, you found your eyes wandering. There were so many details in this room to take in. So many fascinating people sharing this amazing journey across the Atlantic with you.

Victoria's brother had a new partner for every dance. The girls playing the game surrounded him after each song ended, hoping to be next, and he appeared to be having the time of his life. He laughed and smiled and treated each girl as if she were the only one in the room. You almost envied them.

Georgina - the girl with the notebook - had matched the bets with the names of the girls participating, and was checking them off as they danced with him. The last girl from the list to dance with Ralph was a blonde girl with a codename of Curtains, on account of the strange pattern on her dress. Georgina announced the loser as she circled the name, and the table erupted into laughter once more. She'd been Jane's pick, who was delighted.

The poor boy, who had had been dancing nonstop for hours, finally got to take a breather when Curtains returned to her table. He guzzled a drink and sat alone at a table looking exhausted. It's not easy being rich and desirable, you suppose.

By the time he'd caught his breath, it was nearly eleven o'clock, and the lounge was closing for the night. You said goodnight to your new friends, found your way back to your room - miraculously, without having to ask a steward for directions - and smiled as you went inside your cabin and began preparing for bed.

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: Our adventure begins! Words: 1.4k

The Series Announcement may be a helpful read before diving in!

"Let that girl live a little!"

That phrase, once shouted by your dear Aunt Molly, had been constantly playing in your mind since Christmas.

Your favorite aunt had come north to spend the holidays with you, your mother, and your father. Molly was your mother's sister, but the two women could not have been more different.

Your mother was cold and calculating and cared far too much about what other people thought of her. She craved attention and approval and took great pains to insert herself into every situation which might allow her to move up the social ladder. She'd married your father for his money and family name, not caring at all that he was a kind and loving person with human feelings. Sometimes you think he's the only reason you're still moderately sane.

Aunt Molly, however, was warm and funny and had a boisterous laugh that seemed to put everyone at ease. She'd married someone your mother deemed poor and unworthy, but a few wise investments turned his dream of someday owning a racehorse into a reality. They'd moved to Kentucky, bought a small farm, and turned it into a breeding empire. Even as his fortune grew, your mother never warmed to him. "You can't buy class," you'd heard her sneer on more than one occasion.

Uncle Dan had passed away suddenly last summer. You'd all come down on a train for the funeral, but you hadn't stayed long. Aunt Molly handled the situation as she handled all situations; with her head held high. She was a businesswoman, and when something needed to be done, she'd do it. Even if that something was burying her husband and running things by herself. "Animals don't care if you're in mourning," she'd said. "They still have to be fed. People still have to get paid. As long as you're able, you have to keep on living."

She'd stayed for almost a week at Christmas-time, a personal record for her. Perhaps she was growing lonely with Uncle Dan gone. But for you, her loneliness led to the opportunity of a lifetime.

You'd been coming down the stairs for breakfast when you heard your mother and aunt screaming at each other in the parlor. Your father, lingering in the hallway in case they came to blows, looked up at you with a exasperated look. You stopped on the bottom step to listen.

"Let that girl live a little!" Aunt Molly yelled.

"She'll remain here and live a respectable life!" your mother shrieked.

"You're selling her off like a prized cow!"

"Civilized people do not insert livestock into every conversation, Margaret!"

"I'll insert a--"

"They've been at this for fifteen minutes," your father interrupted, before you could hear Aunt Molly deliver her killing blow. "I think that's enough."

He made his move and opened both parlor doors. You remained by the stairs, but saw both women turn in shock at his entrance.

Your mother glared at your father for daring to interrupt her quarrel, but Aunt Molly spied you lingering in the background.

"C'mere, darlin'," she called.

"Margaret, I will not allow it," your mother seethed through clenched teeth as you approached.

You resisted the urge to cower behind your father, and stood beside him instead.

"I have an amazing opportunity for you," she began.

"I said no!" your mother hissed.

"Let's at least let her hear what Molly has to say," your father, the eternal peacekeeper, chimed in. "Why don't we all take a seat and discuss this calmly?" He guided you to the sofa, and sat beside you. Your mother and aunt sat in opposite armchairs, facing each other. You wondered who would launch themselves across the coffee table and attack first.

"I'm heading to Europe next month," Aunt Molly said. "And I want you to come with me."

"I told you, she is engaged!"

"And I told you, she needs to go on an adventure before she settles down and starts poppin' out kids!"

Your father cleared his throat, and Aunt Molly returned to her sales pitch.

"I've sold a colt to a man in England. He's one of Dan's old friends, and it's for his daughter's birthday, so I told him I'd escort the young fella there personally. I'd like for you to come with me. After that's done, we can explore England, France, Italy. Anywhere you want to go. I need a vacation, and I think you'd make a great traveling companion."

You stared at her in wonder. It had never occurred to you that visiting all the wonderful places you'd read about could actually be possible. To walk the cobblestone streets that Dickens walked, to see the Eiffel Tower and the Sistine Chapel with your own two eyes! To eat real foreign cuisine and learn a new language and sleep in luxurious hotels and swim in different oceans!

"She has a wedding to plan!"

And just like that, all of your dreams popped like bubbles and were sucked down the drain, leaving you with the reality you tried so hard to avoid. You were marrying Donald Andrews, a boring yet respectable man of your mother's choosing, in just a few months' time. You felt yourself deflate, and lowered your gaze to the floor.

"Darlin'?"

You looked up to meet Aunt Molly's kind eyes.

"Do you want to come with me?"

More than anything in the world. But you have commitments to keep. You said yes to Donald when he proposed, although you're still not sure you meant it. It had been at dinner with your parents and his, in the most expensive restaurant in town. Everyone had turned to watch when he tapped his glass and sank to one knee. Every pair of eyes in the restaurant was on you, waiting for an answer. You'd panicked. When you stuttered out a "yes," the entire restaurant had applauded. Your mother finally looked happy with you, for the first time that you can remember. That was a good sign, right? You figured you could learn to love him. Perhaps even find something charming about him…. after you pop out five or six dull little children that look exactly like him and are tied down in domestic hell forever with no hope of escape or a moment to yourself ever again.

"Yes," you answered.

Your mother seethed, but Aunt Molly's face lit up.

Things were tense in the weeks leading up to your departure. You assured your mother that there would be ample time to plan your wedding after your return in April. International travel would make you appear cultured and give you things to discuss at dinner parties, after all. She remained unconvinced - and quite crotchety - but the thought of escape kept you going.

The morning you were scheduled to board a train and travel south to meet Aunt Molly and a colt named Kentucky Bluegrass - Blue for short - you sat at your vanity and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your bags and trunk had been packed and moved downstairs the night before. Nancy, your family's maid, had come in early to help you dress for your departure. Physically, you were ready to go. But as you stared at yourself in the mirror, you couldn't help but notice that something felt different. Final, somehow.

"It's time," your father announced with a quiet knock on your door.

"I'll be right there," you called, staring at your own face in the mirror as if it were the last time you'd ever see it. You took a deep breath, stood, and reached for your gloves… but you hesitated before putting them on.

You stared at your engagement ring for a second. The hideous, bulky thing that Donald had shoved on your finger in front of all those people. You remembered how they'd ooh'd and aah'd and how he'd pinched your skin in his hurry to get it in place.

You ran your thumb over the stone rising from your finger… and then you pulled it off, dropped it in your jewelry box, and let the lid fall closed with a thump.

The ring couldn't have weighed more than a few grams, but you felt ten pounds lighter without it.

You took a deep breath, pulled on your gloves, straightened your hat, and stepped out of your childhood bedroom.

This girl is going to live a little.

[wheels-of-despair]

I was kinda limited to what the Titanic: Honor and Glory game had available, but I've picked out rooms, if anyone wants to explore!

This is the cabin You and Aunt Molly are sharing.

This is Ralph's. Let's pretend it's connected to a private sitting room, and Victoria's room is on the other side of it.

[wheels-of-despair]

Ralphtanic finale tomorrow. 🥺

[wheels-of-despair]

I'm like 99.9% sure this was @fictionaldaze's doing. 😂

You can thank her for forcing me to get this fic out this week, rather than spending another year "researching" and "daydreaming" and "thinking about writing". 😂

[wheels-of-despair]

The Ralphtanic finale is in the drafts. 🥺