#rakdos

[rakdos-outlaw]

Yea that just about sums up most of what folks think of them, which mind you is correct.

But it’s a shame you caught fire for it.

I have been rudely insulted by someone small and green who made the assumption I was a Boros Legionnaire on break. I kept a cool head and didn't say anything back.

I think they were on something though. I'm not sure what guild they were a part of if any.

I could of course be misinterpreting it but "bootlicking militant draining our resources." Is hardly a good thing to say.

[average-ravnican]

So, I’ve been pretty vocal about saying the guild system SUCKS. But you know what’s even worse?

This living guildpact bullshit. First we get some twink who keeps fucking directly off and not doing his job. What the fuck was he doing? Especially when we had like. 3 guild leaders murdered before the big war with the dragon and zombies invading.

Then we get Niv-mizzet. And I’m sorry to any Izzet followers, but he was the worst choice for a living guildpact. He is the FOUNDER of the Izzet, his own personal cult of personality. He’s antisocial, preferring to hide away and do research than to actually intervene when GUILD LEADERS ARE DYING AGAIN, and sure he SAYS he isn’t going to be biased. But he’s spent a few thousand years hanging out with one guild, do we actually fuckin believe that??

Rakdos would have been a better pick. At least he isn’t interested in scheming.

[incorrect-mtg]

Outlaws of Thunder Junction + Tumblr Textposts Part 2

[bitchy-rakdos-enchanter]

So when the Legion beats a fellow cultist in the street, it is called "justice."

But when I create an artistic display in real time using a Legionnaire's soft and squishy bits, it's a "criminal disruption of the peace" and a "crime against basic decency" and vomit-inducing, apparently.

[rakdos-outlaw]

Sounds like a real piece of work, I think I’ve heard of that Karn fella, heard he was pretty swell. But what do I know ?

Made a breakthrough at work today but unfortunately said “Urza’s udders!” (typical Dominarian expression) in front of my coworkers so then I had to explain 40+ minutes of extraplanar history to them just for a joke about an old man’s boobs.

In case you were wondering.

[xochilexart]

She knows a thing or two about a carnage

[svogthos-middle-management]

Love when MtG characters go to a different plane and play dress up.

Like, they didn't have to wear cowboy clothes on Thunder Junction, but everyone did.

Very cool of the necromancers (2), assassin, demon lord, witch, pirates (2), and little skeleton guy to get all gussied up even on a plane that has only know extraplanar beings

The plane was uninhabited not that long ago, there's no need to hide that you're from somewhere else, it's all for the fashion and flavor and it's great

[xantchaslegacy]

[rakdos-outlaw]

I hear you, not quite sure on how but I can hear you clear as day

static-y and distorted

What i- th- Bale-urk -s tha-...

more clearly but still laced with static

Hello? I can hear you on the other side. This is Ina Grimsdottir, survivor of Duskmourn, Doorblade, and rune specialist. Come in, do you read?

[azorius-eloquence]

“The Azorius are bad because they interfere with other guild’s affairs.”

This sentiment makes me angry. I don’t think its particularly bad to stop The Rakdos from eating peoples organs, or The Dimir from invading privacy law, or The Gruul from…existing.

Who even likes The Gruul?

[dimir-archivist]

With all the secrets and information gathered from countless sources on Ravnica, can you tell me which guild makes the best soup?

Okay, so, I've done excruciating research, prowled my informant web, tried out recipes myself, and have narrowed it down to two guilds. The Gruul Clans, and the Cult of Rakdos. Now, the only thing remaining is to gather a variety of unbiased participators, get enough soup to adequately feed them, and conduct a survey. Oh, information gathering is the best.

[rakdos-outlaw]

Teaching my fellow cultists how to use a lasso, because a few of them just don’t know and it seemed like a fun time waster. So I told them the gist of it and let ‘em be for a little while, ya know let them hone their craft.

I come back after lunch to see someone covered head to whipping a spiked chain around.

Guess they pick things up pretty quick. Anywho if y’all accidentally get domed by a stray chain lasso at our next show it’s not my fault.

[biomancy-blues]

Ok fun update on my life: there are currently 2 EXTREMELY WASTED Rakdos performers outside my apartment complex yelling about what the most enjoyable method of disembowelment is for everyone involved. Yelling. In the middle of the night. About disembowelment.

[hyde-the-toad-bard]

Kinda funny how the leading examples of black combined with their ally colors are destruction, either of the body with rakdos, or of the mind with dimir. However, when combined with enemy colors, black actually shows its capacity to preserve. The golgari preserve life, even in the dead and discarded. The Orzhov preserve the spirits of the dead, in this case to exploit them. Notably, on ravnica, the Orzhov and golgari uniquely have resurrection magic, while the dimir and rakdos commit crimes(thank you thunder junction)

This makes me think of the land that generates black mana: the swamp. Swamps are places where people are lost forever. They are places with some of the most hidden dangers of the world, and the most desperate to survive. They are places with creatures most reviled, but just as important to their ecosystem as any other. They are places that naturally mummify and preserve the dead they keep. The swamps remember every thing that happens to them. Every slight, every hope and dream.

A swamp is a place where things go to die, and in death, become eternal.

[average-ravnican]

Have you guys ever thought about the difference between Devils and Demons?

Like, I know devils in the Cult are like, smaller, whimsical, etc etc, but what’s the line? Can a devil still like bloodlust and chaos and destruction? Can a demon heckle bad comedians? Any Cult of Rakdos members able to talk about the distinction?

[incorrect-mtg]

Niv-Mizzet: With our success in creating our own artificial omenpaths, I believe we are ready to move to the next stage in the Omenpath Project – sending a Ravnican through one of them.

Proft: That's very ahead of schedule! Should we look for volunteers?

Niv-Mizzet, arriving at the test chamber: I have already procured one.

Proft:

Proft: That's Rakdos.

Niv-Mizzet: Correct.

Proft: He's even still sleeping.

Niv-Mizzet: A representative from the Rakdos assisted us with moving him to the test chamber.

Proft: Are you sure having a Parun as the first test subject is a good idea?

Niv-Mizzet: What's the worst that could happen? That the omenpath is unstable and we finally find a way to kill him for good? That he ends up somewhere else where he isn't my problem?

Proft:

Proft: I can't change your mind on this, can I?

Niv-Mizzet: No.

Rakdos: *snork mi mi mi*