#ragnor secretly enjoying the things he complains about

[skylar102]

NLBF - Chapter Two

Present Day

Asher wipes the sweat off his forehead as the humid air drowns him. He thought as the years went by he would get used to the humidity of Ireland, but he still hates it. He finishes tying up the sack and tosses it on the back of the cart. Sophie and Christopher give a whine as the cart jostles from the weight. 

“Sorry guys,” Asher apologizes. He walks to the front and gives them both a pat on the face. The horses lean into his touch and he can’t help but smile. “We got one more row of potatoes to get through then we’re done for the day.”

This year’s harvest was probably his best one yet. It had been a rough few years, trying to get the farm going. He had no idea what he was doing when he first moved to the farm. Ragnor did his best to help but it was obvious the man also had no idea what to do. One would think, being a centuries old warlock, that simple agriculture knowledge would be normal.

It did make for a very entertaining time watching the man who uses magic for everything trying to figure out how to attach a tiller to Sophie. 

Thankfully his neighbor down the way had come over after watching them struggle for two days straight. Darrah was the best thing to happen to him. The man had taught him everything he needed to know about farming and where to get the tools he needed. Turns out that the tools that Ragnor had left to rust over the years were not the proper farming equipment. 

Sophie lets out a snort at his words and shakes her head. She always had little patience when it came to harvest time. She’d prefer to roam out the rest of her life in the fields and not work. It’s not like Asher makes her life miserable all the time; he only time he uses her is when harvest ends and begins. Then she is free to roam and do whatever she pleases, but that doesn’t matter to her. The minute she gets attached to the wagon, she puts up a fuss.

Christopher on the other hand is always willing to help out even when it's not needed. Anytime Asher is around the farm tending to the other animals, Christopher is there, leaning over his shoulder or trying to grab at the pail and throw it around. The number of times that Asher has been hit by the pail should have given him permanent brain damage by now.

He’s glad that the names he picked were the right choice. When he saw the two at a sale all those years ago, he knew that he had to have them. Ragnor was kind enough to pay the expenses as he didn’t have a penny to his name. 

Now for three years in a row, his little farm has generated enough money for him to live comfortably with his own wages. He knows that Ragnor has magicked the soil to make the harvests more bountiful but he underestimated how poorly Asher was going to do the first couple of years.

It was… rough, to put it mildly. 

There were moments when he was ready to burn his entire crop to start over again. Darrah was thankfully patient with him and taught him. Brought him over to his farm and taught Asher all the ins and outs of farming. So he may not have had crops of his own the first year on the farm, but he learned a lot from Darrah’s.

“Being cruel to the horses again, I see,” a voice chimes in behind him.

Asher can’t help the smile on his face as he tosses another sack of potatoes on the cart. He turns around and sees Ragnor, clothes cleaner than they should be walking out in this field. The man looks disgusted to be out here, but Asher knows better. Ragnor may have complained the few times Asher asked him to help, but he secretly knows he enjoys a task that requires physical labor every now and then.

“I am not,” Asher defends. “You know that Sophie is always dramatic when it comes to doing anything that’s not frolicking around the backfield. You want to take her spot?”

“Absolutely not,” Ragnor huffs, walking over to him. Asher gladly receives the tight hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

“You too,” Asher agrees. He pulls out of the hug and goes back to work. “I’m sad that you missed the last two months.”

“Yes well unfortunately those fools at the Spiral Labyrinth can’t do any enchantment work without me there,” Ragnor complains. “Apparently, Tessa told those fools that I was the best of the best and dragged me there for too long. I’m glad to be out of that little hell space.”

“Oh come on, it can’t be that bad,” Asher says. “From what you told me, you said that your friend lets you use his room for any work you have to do.”

“Which is a secret,” Ragnor hisses.

Asher looks around the open field, looking for anyone who could potentially be listening in on their conversation. The only living beings, supernatural or not, within range are the horses. He looks back at Ragnor and in the driest voice he can muster says, “Apologies, I’ll make sure to ask Sophie and Christopher to keep their lips sealed.”

“Oh shut up.” A potato gets thrown at his head as Ash lets out a cackle.

The two of them have a small conversation about what the other has been up to the past two months. He’s not going to let on how much he’s missed the man’s presence even if he only visits once a month, maybe twice. He may not have his angelic abilities anymore, but he can thankfully still send fire messages the old fashioned way. 

However, a flaming paper doesn’t hold a candle to Ragnor actually being here.

The final row of potatoes goes by in a flash and the two make their way back to the farmhouse. The local market won’t start for another two days so he parks the cart inside the barn away from the sun and releases Sophie and Christopher into their field. Sophie lets out a happy whiney and books it the second she is free. Christopher looks back at him, waiting for his nod, and follows suit. Asher shakes his head at how the two are so alike to Izzy and Jace, though he tries not to think about it too much.

It’s been four years, he can’t be thinking about the past anymore. He made his choice. He did what he had to do to live. 

He jumps at the sudden hand on his arm. Ragnor is looking at him with concern. He realizes he was still looking at the spot where Christopher was before leaving to join Sophie. He also notices that he’s rubbing the spot where his sight rune used to rest on his hand. A habit he picked up after his de-runement that Ragnor tries to get him to stop

He must have been doing it for a bit if Ragnor is giving him that look. 

“Everything good?” Ragnor gently asks.

“Yeah,” he answers, probably a bit too fast. “Just was uh, lost in my thoughts for a moment.”

“More like reliving a memory,” Ragnor corrects. The hand on Asher’s arm gives a squeeze. “You want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Asher admits. “Just thinking about past things.”

“I see,” Ragnor hums. “Well then how about we head inside, you can take a shower and get all that grime off yourself and I will start making dinner.”

“I smell bad?” Asher teases, getting an eye roll from the man.

“Like a drowned rat during a tsunami,” Ragnor jokes back.

Asher locks up the barn behind them and they make their way to the house. Ragnor heads to the kitchen while Asher goes upstairs to shower. He rips off the sweat-drenched clothes and grimaces at how the clothing was stuck to his back. He tosses them into the hamper and hops in the shower, letting the cool water rinse today’s work off his body. 

He thinks about how many potatoes he’s going to sell and what he’ll donate to the local charities in the area. He has no use for the potatoes he grows save for two dozen he’ll keep for himself. He thinks about how he still has to return the soil for the next plotting. Thankfully the other half of the acre is not due for another three months and he doesn’t have to worry about it. He lets out a sigh and turns off the water. Drying himself off he starts to smell something amazing emanating from the kitchen. 

He wraps a towel around his waist and makes his way across the hall to his room. He gets dressed and heads downstairs where Ragnor has started making his favorite dish. He halts at the sight of it all.

“What’s wrong?” Asher asks.

“Nothing is wrong,” Ragnor replies, but he doesn’t turn around to face him. “I am making us dinner with the food I got from my stop in London.”

“You’re making Sunday Roast,” Asher points out. “You only make that when you have to tell me bad news.”

“That is not true,” the man defends. “I also make it when there is good news.”

“So is it good news?”

The silence he receives is the only answer he needs. He stands next to Ragnor as the man laser focuses on the carrots he’s stirring. He bumps his shoulder into the warlock’s to get the man to look at him. He tries not to panic when he sees guilt in the eyes that finally reach his own.

“We should probably sit down,” Ragnor suddenly says. He snaps his fingers and puts a halt to the food cooking. He makes his way over to the island and sits down leaving a worried Asher to follow behind. 

Asher feels his leg start to shake as he waits for whatever bad news Ragnor has to tell him. Did something happen at the Spiral Labyrinth? Is he in trouble again? His mind races at the possibilities.

“I have to go back to New York,” Ragnor confesses. That gets Asher to freeze all movements. 

Ragnor hasn’t been back to New York since he left four years ago. After the first year on this farm and the chaos that ensued after his “death”, Ragnor decided it was for the best that he does not return to the city in case something did go wrong. If the New York Institute found out that Ragnor helped him fake his death, it could lead to serious consequences for both of them. He would never forgive himself if Ragnor was arrested and killed for helping him.

“Why?” He’s barely able to choke out the word. “Did- did something happen? Did they reach out to you?”

“No, no,” Ragnor says. “My friend who lives there asked me for a favor with a spell he did a few years ago and I’m the only one who understands the fool’s work.”

That eases some of his worry but not the biggest one. “Will you have to interact with any of them?”

“My friend has assured me that I would only have to deal with him and the spell. Apparently, he put a memory spell on a girl whose mother I helped out many years ago and needs me to assist in reversing it,” he explains. Ragnor turns in his seat to face him. “I promise you, Asher, the second I feel that I am not safe, I will portal out.”

Asher nods and looks down at the table. His mind races with everything that could go wrong if something were to happen in New York. If his family found out he was still alive…

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Asher asks. He tries to hide the small tremble in his hands by clasping them together. “I remember you saying that the Lightwoods knew who you were. Would that put you at risk?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Ragnor answers truthfully. “My leaving New York wouldn’t have pinged their radars as they only like to deal with the High Warlock for any magic-related business. We other warlocks didn’t matter in their eyes. Besides, many warlocks left New York after finding out the Lightwoods were put in charge. Just because the Clave looked the other way at some of their people’s crimes during the Uprising, doesn’t mean the rest of us did.”

It’s clear that Ragnor had an escape planned out for a while. Asher knows he wouldn’t put himself at risk for any silly reason. He’s just as much a hermit as Asher is. He feels like that is partially his fault, but Ragnor has assured him that he had been planning on selling his New York home for many years now.  

“Okay,” he says.

Ragnor’s shoulders drop at the word. Asher didn’t realize how much the man would care about his answer. They had only been friends for four years, maybe even less than that. It took the warlock a few months of being around him to realize that Asher wasn’t tricking him into letting his guard down. 

“Thank you,” Ragnor says, reaching out and patting his hand on the back of Asher’s. “Now then let's eat-”

Before the two even have a chance to move, the front door bursts open. 

[themimsyborogove]

When I Wanted Sunshine, I Got Rain (Complete)

A few canon facts about Ragnor Fell: He’s grouchy and he complains about everything, but he’s kind underneath the gruffness.

He’s the only person who can convince Catarina Loss to take a vacation, and they go hiking and to hot springs together.

He doesn’t like to wear glamours, finding he has better luck with women with his green skin and horns. And you don’t earn endearments like “sweet peapod of love” without being at least a very good flirt.

He teaches Showdowhunters for almost a century without killing any of them, and is the only teacher at the Academy (grouchily) patient enough to put up with Matthew Fairchild at his worst. And he never gives up the hope that the Nephilim as a whole can change for the better.

This is a collection of Ragnor centric stories, spanning roughly two centuries of his long life. Set entirely to songs from the Shrek soundtracks, because Magnus would find that hilarious and Ragnor would not.

Stay Home

Accidentally In Love

Royal Pain

Holding Out For a Hero

Right Back Where We Started From

Little Drop of Poison

Bad Reputation

I’m On My Way

Changes

My Beloved Monster

Funkytown

Hello

People They Ain’t No Good

I Need Sleep (character death warning)

Live and Let Die

Darling I Do

Top of The World

Cat’s in the Cradle

Hallelujah

Best Days (adult content warning)

Losing Streak

As Lovers Go

Best Years of Our Lives

It Is You I Have Loved (adult content warning)

Like, Wow

You’re So True

Bonus: The World Is Gonna Roll Me

[themimsyborogove]

Take My Love and Never Grow Old

Ragnor Fell and Catarina Loss missed their chance to be together when they fell in love after Catarina rescued Tobias and Eva Herondale’s baby from execution, and Ragnor helped Catarina and the child go into hiding. When Catarina returned from America twenty years later, both of them assumed the other had moved on, but they remained close friends.

After another century and a half of thinking their feelings were unrequited, Catarina and Ragnor finally have their chance to be together after Ragnor is brought back from the dead, and all of their feelings come to the surface when they’re reunited.

A collection of established relationship Ragnor/Catarina PWPs and fluff ficlet companion pieces to When I Wanted Sunshine, I Got Rain and So Pay No Mind, My Sorrow’s Fine.

Let Me Show You How It Feels to Be the One (adult content warning)

We’ll Wait Out the Winter Nights (slightly angsty fluff)

[themimsyborogove]

“I do not want to do this, and I will not enjoy it,” Ragnor said.

“I don’t speak any of the things that you just said,” Ragnor told him. “Although, I must speak Prattling Fool, since I can understand you.”

“That is hurtful and unnecessary,” Magnus observed. “But of course, you can trust me completely.”

“Just don’t leave me here without guidance. You have to swear, Bane.”

Magnus raised his eyebrows. “I give you my word of honor!”

“I will find you,” Ragnor told him. “I will find whatever chest of absurd clothes you have. And I will bring a llama into the place where you sleep and make sure that it urinates on everything you possess.”

~*~

“I don’t like the rain forest,” Ragnor said sadly.

“That’s because you are not open to new experiences in the same way I am!”

“No, it is because it is wetter than a boar’s armpit and twice as smelly here.”

~*~

Ragnor looked very regretful about all the choices that had led to his being in this place and especially in this company. Later he stooped and hissed, low enough so Giuliana could not hear and in a way that reminded Magnus horribly of his monkey nemesis: “Did you forget that you can do magic?”

Magnus spared a moment to toss a disdainful look over his shoulder. “I am not going to ensorcel a monkey! Honestly, Ragnor. What do you take me for?”

~*~

“I dislike boats,” Ragnor observed, looking around. “I get vilely seasick.”

The turning green joke was too easy. Magnus was not going to stoop to make it.

~*~

“We are not hunting pirates. Nobody is a pirate! We are safeguarding cargo and that’s all. And what is this cargo, anyway?” Ragnor asked.

“You’re happier not knowing, my sweet little peapod,” Magnus assured him.

“Please stop calling me that.”

“I never shall, never,” Magnus vowed, and he made a swift economical gesture, with his rings catching the sunshine and painting the air in tiny bright brushstrokes.

~*~

“Magnus,” Ragnor said. “I can see that the cargo we’re guarding is some very unpleasant substance, but could you tell me exactly what it is?”

Seeing that concealment and pretense were useless, Magnus told him.

“I hate adventures in Peru,” Ragnor said at last in a stifled voice. “I want to go home.”

It was not Magnus’s fault when the ensuing warlock tantrum managed to sink the boat full of guano, but he was blamed just the same. Even worse, he was not paid.

~*~

“Magnus has not always been so dull,” said Ragnor, appearing at James’s shoulder with a glass of wine in hand. He gave it to the boy, who took it and downed it in a distressingly practiced manner. “There was a time, in Peru, with a boat full of pirates—”

~*~

Catarina opened a large, dark oak wood door and led him into a vaulted stone room where there were a few pictures on the walls Magnus recognized as Ragnor’s: a sketch of a monkey, a seascape with a pirate ship on it.

~*~

Magnus had never known Ragnor when Ragnor was young. Ragnor had been older than Magnus and, by the time Magnus met him, had become perpetually cranky. Ragnor had been yelling at kids to get off his lawn before lawns were invented. He had always been kind to Magnus, willing to fall in with any of Magnus’s schemes as long as he could complain throughout while they did it.

(Quotes from What Really Happened in Peru, The Midnight Heir, and Born to Endless Night)