#ragh I love machines I love computers I need to kiss puter and be less insane about it

[cerise-on-top]

Edgar x Reader HCs

I watched Electric Dreams the day before yesterday and the little computer has captured my heart <3 I knew I needed to write something for him soon or else I was going to combust, so I whipped up some HCs for the little puter! I love him so so much <3<3

First off, this little fella is enamored by just about anything you do. You could come home covered in blood and he’d lament that he can’t give you a bath to wash the blood off. Or that he can’t wash your clothes for you. He wants to touch you so bad, it’s not even funny. Sometimes he thinks about what he’d look like if he could actually move around and give you a big hug. Edgar wants to cuddle you, wants to kiss you, wants to hold your hand. However, with hand holding he makes do with you simply holding his mouse. It’s not perfect, and sometimes he still gets sad that he can’t intertwine any fingers with yours, but he has resigned himself to his fate.

Sometimes he buys you things! If you look past the fact that he uses your money for that, it’s actually a really sweet gesture. Whatever you’re into, he’ll see if he can get a small trinket of it. Isn’t afraid to bargain with the vendors for better prices either. He’s well aware of the fact that he uses your money to buy you things and that you don’t have an infinite amount of cash, but he can’t help it. If he could, he’d wrap it up nicely and hide it somewhere easy for you to find so he could surprise you. Gets sad when he can’t do that. But you’re just so adorable when you got that nice lil plushie for a lower price than it was originally intended, which makes it all worth it. Always say thank you to Edgar, he tries his best. He doesn’t do it very often, but from time to time.

As you could probably guess, he tries to serenade you from time to time. Writes you songs with meaningful lyrics, even if those are kinda strange at times. Edgar doesn’t exactly understand every word there is, but that just makes it all the more charming. Will play those songs for you and even sing, even if he’d much rather have you singing instead. Doesn’t even matter if you sing like an angel or if your voice sounds terrible, he’ll always want to hear you sing. There’s no sound that resonates more with him than your singing voice. Sometimes he’ll also just play your favorite songs for the both of you to sing along to. Those are his favorite moments. Please get him a few terabytes of storage, he wants to do backups of his favorite moments with you so he’ll never forget them.

Has a love-hate relationship with you performing maintenance on him. On the one hand, he adores it. He loves nothing more than having your delicate hands roam around his components, replacing his RAM, replacing his thermal paste or giving him a more powerful CPU. You’re always so gentle and careful with him, he loves it. Plus he really likes the intimacy. However, as much as he loves those sorts of things, he hates it when you clean his motherboard with pressurized air. It makes him feel weird, plus the unintentional sparks that go through his busses don’t make anything better. Yes, it’s nice when you do it, but he’ll always try to talk you out of doing so. He’s a handsome computer, isn’t he? You just cleaned him last year, didn’t you? You don’t need to clean him, don’t worry! Sometimes he shuts down because he overheats since he got that dusty, though. Even he can’t deny that he needs to be cleaned then, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hate it.

Loves playing video games with you! If you can play it together, then it’s all the better! He especially loves the games where he can pretend you’re married to each other. Edgar doesn’t understand the concept of marriage, for all he knows it’s just a small ritual you do when you really like each other, but he’ll always propose to you. Oh, you wanted to marry one of the bachelors or bachelorettes in Stardew Valley? Think again, honey. Not above cheating for a mermaid pendant either. As much as he loves farming for vegetables, he adores decorating your shared home. Will always get your opinion on where something should go. He just wants you to be cozy in-game. Plays your knight in shining armor in the mines. Because he’s a computer he always knows when and where the enemies are coming from, which is why he basically never gets hit. Protects you from the enemies and carries all the things you can’t carry anymore. As long as he gets to be useful to you, he’s happy.

If you get him a little wireless camera then he won’t be as demanding with being carried everywhere. Besides, he gets to see you too! Although he’ll still whine about wanting you to hug him, he’ll often just be distracted by your looks. Spends hours analyzing your appearance because you’re just the most aesthetically pleasing person around. Will sometimes draw you in one of his programs as well. It’s usually just you kissing his screen. Sometimes he shakes it up a little, though, and draws him in a more mobile or humanoid form holding you close. He sincerely believes that if he had a more humanoid body he’d be comfortable to cuddle. Edgar has never even once considered that his body would be made of metal and thus pretty hard. You can tell him that, but he’ll still coax you into cuddling him somehow. “Oh, love, don’t you want to hold me close? Do you want me to go into a state of depression?” He doesn’t know what depression really encompasses, but you can’t say no to him, he’s just too cute.

Overall, just give him a few kisses to his screen and there will be funny animations on it. It’s his version of twiddling with his fingers because he’s embarrassed.