#rae's misery rambles
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rae-unbeloved · 6 months ago
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Dont mind me chat im just evaportating bcs my kinda friend said aro/acespec people shouldn't be included in lgbtq+ ://
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rae-unbeloveddd · 12 days ago
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My ass is THIS close to going no contact with everyone i know swear down i am going to explode and die
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katsotherworld · 2 years ago
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Book 3 Chosen House of Night
My ramblings throughout the book.
Shawnee is described as caramel colored.
"Man purse" as opposed to just a purse or a bag?
I totally agree that birthday gifts that are holiday themed just because its the day of or right before/after is stupid, unless the birthday person is obviously and overjoyously a fan of said holiday.
Like you don't give Christmas themed gifts on Christmas, so why would you if they're born in December?
Heath coming in to save/ruin the day by revealing Zoe's birthday hatred lol.
Ok, 16/17 is old enough to realize that 50 something isn't that old.
Of course The People of Faith have their own edition of the Bible.
I hate that Linda was manipulated and abused into cutting off her daughter and mother. And when she wanted to free it was at one of the worst moments.
Also, does Zoey never miss her siblings? She doesn't seem to care about them at this point in the series.
I'm definitely remembering why I hated Eric, like I remembered but now I'm really remembering.
Also, Zoey's slut shaming is fucking annoying, like honey, it's normal to be sexually interested if you're interested in sex.
I want Stark, not Eric, like I just want my archer baby not the asshole actor who has a lesson to learn thst isn't learned for a few more books.
"Kinky Freak Boy" that's just so gross Zoey.
And Eric is right about Loren looking at Zoey not like a student and he's her teacher.
Teenagers should be taught what Grooming is, I wish they'd have called it that in these books because its Grooming and teens are so unaware about things that they don't realize an adult shouldn't be interested in them.
"Shawnee's chocolate colored eyes"
"He called me a woman." "He always mademe feel so grown, so womanly" statements made from a teen girl about a adult man grooming her.
"I've always been drawn to confident woman. You don't any idea how how special you are, do you Zoey? You're unique, not like any of those other fledglings. You're a goddess among those who think themselves demi-gods."
"I thought adult vampires weren't supposed to have relationships with fledglings.
"We're not supposed to, its highly improper. But sometimes there's an attraction between two people that transcends the vampire fledgling boundary, as well as age and impropriety. Do you believe in that kind of attraction, Zoey?"
"I didn't like seeing his [the age appropriate boyfriend] hands all over you?" Loren Blake
"I dont have any right to be angry at you for being eith Eric, it's not even my business." Loren Blake
"Do you want it to be you're business?" Zoey Redbird.
"More than I can tell you. I belive its my turn for a birthday kiss." Loren Blake
"No one can know about us" kisses her then proceeds to give her diamond earrings.
After being invited back to the teacher's room for sex she then panics because she doesn't want to have sex yet, but wants an excuse that isn't "juvenile"
I'll be waiting for you to come put me out of my misery.
"As I said, You're not like the rest of those fledgling children. And I happen to adhere to the belief that some rules are meant to be broken." -groomer Loren Blake again.
Also, if Nyx gives Zoe all these gut feelings why wouldn't she stop her from getting raped by Loren.
Nyx waits till after Zoe is imprinted with an adult vampire to let her know not to trust him with knowing Negerete's dark deeds.
Why didn't Nyx stop this shit.
Zoe deserved better than walking in on the Neferet and Loren situation.
God, Zoey's friends fucking suck. Like why the fuck are they so stupid. Like so fucking stupid. And if anyone would be aware of fucking GROOMING Damian would know that Loren was fucking in the wrong. I get the twins being a little awkward about it but Damien should know that he was Grooming her.
And so begins the Eric showing his true colors saga.
I just love Stevie Rae.
Zoe not knowing what the mysterious excruciating pain is sucks for her from a lack of knowledge stand point.
Darius is the absolute best. Like he is just the fucking best. I'm glad he gets to be a permanent character.
Welp, that ended on a note for sure.
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griefgifted · 4 years ago
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HOW DOES YOUR MUSE CARRY EMOTIONS? (For Rae)
Rules: please repost, don’t reblog! Bold what applies accordingly.
ANGER: jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, tighter movements, passive aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts
JOY: easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing/giggling, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy
SADNESS: crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates and processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, swallowing thickly, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better
EMBARRASSMENT/SHAME: blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate
GUILT: avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others
FEAR/ANXIETY: trembling, crying, sarcasm/sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, impatience, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewellery/clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, over-reacts, under-reacts, calm, logical, panic, irrational, overthinks, carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight, fight, withdraw, fawn
tagged by: @conduitandconjurer Mum <3
tagging: anyone who wants to!
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conduitandconjurer · 4 years ago
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HOW DOES YOUR MUSE CARRY EMOTIONS?
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Rules: please repost, don’t reblog! Bold and italicize what applies accordingly.
ANGER: jaw clenching, hands balling into fists, teeth grinding, yelling, going nonverbal, stuttering speech, rushed speech, slow concise speech, rambling, quiet, arms crossing, shaking head, tearing up, animated, expressionless, projects, internalizes, vents, withdraws, tighter movements, passive aggressive, direct, physical outbursts, verbal outbursts
JOY: easy smiles, fighting back grins, suppressed laughter, loud laughter, giggles, chuckling, smirks, whole body laughs, covers mouth when laughing/giggling, throws head back when laughing, slaps leg, touches people around them when laughing, looks down when laughing, looks for eye contact when laughing, sparkling eyes, bubbly happiness, quiet subtle happiness, obnoxious happiness, wants to spread joy, quietly savors joy
SADNESS: crying, bottling it up, seeks distractions, wallows, meditates and processes, avoidance, seeks out comfort, withdraws, swallowing thickly, talks it out, internalizes it, sad smiles, depression naps, uses alcohol, uses drugs, seeks out sources of joy, fidgets with sentimental item, sits in silence, broods, gets moody, wants someone to share the misery, tries to hide negative emotions, nurtures others to make themselves feel better
EMBARRASSMENT/SHAME: blushing, looking away, rubbing at back of head, covering face, laughing nervously, laughs it off, overthinks, lets it go, self deprecating humor, deflects, gets irritated, smiles, withdraws, crossing arms over stomach, crossing arms over chest, hands in pockets, shoulders sinking, shrugs, falling into silence until comfortable again, talking a lot to compensate
GUILT: avoiding eye contact, shoulders sinking low, head hanging down, crying, chest aches, lashes out, internalizes, apologizes, deflects, communicates, withdraws, grand gestures for forgiveness, accepts fault easily, punishes themselves, martyrdom, victim complex, over-active guilt complex, healthy conscience, internalizes even after forgiveness, seeking redemption, moves on easily, denial, lack of guilt/conscience, sorry they got caught more than caused harm, can’t handle knowing they hurt others
FEAR/ANXIETY: trembling, crying, sarcasm/sass to cope, rambles, goes silent, gets angry, fidgeting, impatience, clenching jaw, picking at nails, chewing at lip, pulling at clothes, adjusting jewellery/clothing, swallowing thickly, eyes widening, over-reacts, under-reacts, calm, logical, panic, irrational, overthinks, carefully analyzes, talks to themselves, breathing exercises, flight, fight, withdraw, fawn
tagged by: @immortalled​  <3 ​
tagging: @mostincrediblechange @mstinteresting @elastixhearts (lila), @lcngdays (your choice), @multiwrites (your choice), @apocalypsejumped @th3adapt0r @griefgifted (rae) @rapxir​ @thewhiteviolinblog​ 
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silver-wields-a-pen · 6 years ago
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Illthdar High: An au fan fiction
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Tuesday Afternoon
Nyima checked her watch as she hurried down the side-walk. She kept her head down, ignoring the occasional call out from passing creeps. A familiar voice made her glance up. Is that the janitor? She shuddered and pulled her long, dark hair over part of her face in an attempt to hide. She had roughly half an hour before she had to be at Vyxen’s, which gave her plenty of time to drop off the mail for her mom and then pop into the nearby GameStop to see if the new Final Fantasy game was in stock. Her mother didn't let her preorder it and the last time she’d checked they were all sold out. It was a soul crushing experience. She almost threw herself on the floor in a fit of misery. Only the thought of being looked at by everyone stopped her. If it's not here today, I really will scream. The lie made her giggle.
Ten minutes later and her letters were safely in the mailbox and a wall of games were in front of her. She bounced on her toes with excitement. It's here! It's here! I can play it! Yay! Tunnel vision got her across the store in record time, but not without gracelessly crashing into someone on the way. “I’m so sorry!” Panic swept her game-induced euphoria to the side. “I’m so, so sorry!” She repeated, crouching down to grab the game the other person dropped. 
“Uh, um.. no. No, it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”
The strangled voice was too familiar for Nyima not to realize who it belonged to. She froze and went cherry red. Oh my god, no no no way, not him! Anyone but him! Let me die! This was the worst thing that could happen and it took every ounce of bravery not to just drop the game and run out of the store.
She stayed frozen in place, fingers curled around the game box. She stared so hard at the pair of sneakers at the edge of her vision she could draw them with her eyes closed. The tension was so thick she thought she'd drown in it and she wished she could.
“You can’t drown in feelings, they’re not substantial. Same for evaporating, so stop thinking it.” She could hear Rae’s voice in her head, speaking too much logic for her liking. “Can't stay on the floor either. They'll close eventually.”
You're not my friend anymore. Mustering all the courage she could scrape together, Nyima stood up. She left her gaze on the floor until she forced herself to look up. Jingyi was wearing a gaming t-shirt and a Pokemon beanie. He looks so cute. “Hi, Jingyi,” she mumbled, her voice barely audible even to her own ears. He's so cute, he's super cute! Look at that cute smile and the way his hair looks perfectly messy and his eyes are so kind and warm and I RAN RIGHT INTO HIM! I'M SUCH A LOSER! She was so mortified she could die.
So could he. Jingyi was used to people running into him, so he didn't mind until he saw who it was. He thought he’d have a stroke when she mumbled apologies, so he kept a hand solidly on his inhaler in his pocket just in case. He took a deep breath, trying to commit the flowery scent of her shampoo to memory because he’d probably never be this close to her again. Or maybe he would. This was a good chance to talk to her. Richard told him to seize opportunities when they came his way and this was as good an opportunity as he would ever get. Yes! I’m going to talk to her. Decision made, he straightened up and smiled until his cheeks ached. “You play games?” He rolled his eyes at himself. Smooth move, dork. Of course she plays games. Why would she be in here if she didn’t?
“Yeah,” Nyima replied. Her voice was soft and her eyes darted around, looking at everything but him. Her face tinted pink and if he wasn’t already stupidly head over heels for her, he would be now. “You too?”
“Yeah,” he responded. Silence overtook them again.
“Oh! Here.” She pressed his game back into his hands and made to leave.
Fearing he was losing his first real chance to talk to his dream girl, Jingyi blurted out the first thing he could think of that wasn’t about how beautiful she was. “Have you ever played?” He gestured to the Mortal Kombat game in his hands.
“No.” Nyima stopped mid-stride and turned back to face him, keeping her eye line level with his chin. Her hands fiddled with the cuffs of her cardigan. “Is it good?”
“Yeah,” he said for the second time. He chuckled, awkward, and she looked up at him. They both smiled. “You should try it sometime. My favorite character is Sub Zero, he can control ice––”
“Like Shiva!” Nyima perked up a little. She held up the game box in her hands although it didn't have a picture of the character she meant on it. “Shiva from Final Fantasy, I mean. She's really cool.” She giggled like a nerd at her pun. “I couldn't be like that; I hate being cold.” She shut up when she realized she was rambling, wary of looking like a bigger idiot than she already had.
Jingyi laughed. She's so cute. “I don’t like the cold either,” he confessed, his formerly inexistent confidence sparked to life when the corners of her lips rose. “Shiva sounds like a cool character, no pun intended. Her and Sub Zero would probably make an awesome team. M-may––” he stuttered as his courage fled the shop. No, come back! I need you! Shit. “Erm, maybe if you want, we could, like, maybe play together sometime? You could show me Final Fantasy and I’ll show you Mortal Kombat?”
Nyima squeaked. It sounded like a date. She scuffed her shoe against the floor and tugged on her cardigan.
“Ok,” Jingyi said, deflating after guessing she was about to say no.
Nyima sucked in a breath and looked up at him. She opened her mouth and whispered, “Yes, please.”
Jingyi nodded, dejected. “I figured a girl as pretty as you would––” His brain caught up to her reply and he looked at her, incredulous. “Seriously?”
Nyima was tense and nervous as a rabbit seen by a lurcher. She jerked her head in a yes, clutched her game to her chest and ran towards the tills calling in a squeaky voice, “Text me!”
~*~*~
Zercey was so done with today’s practice and it just began. First, she had to deal with yelling at the JV squad members who showed up late. Their captain was still out sick and the assistant captain wasn’t even good at pretending to be mean. I mean, really, a good captain has to be good at both cheering and leading. This isn’t a Miss Congeniality contest. That mess dealt with, she had to focus on her own squad to make sure they had their routine down for the pep rally and game that weekend. They had a big week ahead of them, and if the last few practices were any indication, they’d be preparing until the last possible second. Today they were in the gym as their coaches decided it was best to separate them from the distraction that was the football team.
Zercey got in formation for the beginning of their halftime routine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, one, two... She counted along in her head as she lost herself in the sound of the groups' shoes squeaking on the floor in time to the music playing. She concentrated on making her movements precise, locked elbows, light feet. Left hurkie, toe touch
 She knew her jumps were good and could see out of the corner of her eye that the rest of the squad was hitting the tempo as well. Round off, back handspring. She used the momentum at the end of her flip to propel herself higher up and back, hands above her head and legs tucked, so that her ending position was the setup for the first stunt. As one, her bases gave a slight pulse down and then she shot up, their arms extended fully overhead as she grabbed her leg with one hand and blew a kiss to the audience with the other. That was where she belonged: high above the crowd, center stage, with all eyes on her. Her confidence sufficiently boosted, she got into the groove, moving more from muscle memory than conscious effort. As she let her mind wander, she thought about Lerki. Damn that beautiful jerk! Why did he insist on messing with her and sending stupid mixed messages? He ignored her almost all day after his teasing in English class, and she found him flirting with every person with a B cup or bigger every time she saw him.
But, when she was leaving the gym after a late practice, there he was, waiting for her in the parking lot. 
“Hey,” he said in that annoyingly sexy voice of his. She huffed and tried to walk by him, but he caught her wrist and spun her around. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Oh? I thought you might have been waiting on one of those bimbo underclassmen,” Zercey snapped, yanking her wrist out of Lerki’s grasp and walking away, nose in the air. If he thinks he can just flirt with anyone right in front of my face, and then come back as if nothing happened, he's got another thing coming.
“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Lerki cooed, catching up and snaking an arm around her waist. “Come on, sweetness, come hang out with me. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll even drive you home.” He smiled suggestively and Zercey felt her resolve crumbling.
“Fine,” she agreed. And that was how she got an awesome new bracelet and lose an equally awesome bra in his car. It was a good night. She was still a little giddy when she walked into school this morning, remembering how warm his hands had been when he teasingly trailed his fingers along her thighs. That giddy feeling persisted all the way up until she saw him chatting up another freshman in the hallway. He was lucky she didn’t punch him right there and in front of everyone. 
The music ended, and the squad walked over to their coach and choreographer. When she was in school, her team won Regionals three years in a row and Nationals twice. She was even more competitive than many of the girls on the team, and Zercey could tell by the thin line of her mouth that whatever notes she had for them, they wouldn't be good.
“We showcase this routine in four days and you all still don’t have the timing right,” she began, disapproval ringing in her voice. “The first tumbling pass is beyond sloppy. Curran, I only saw four back handsprings, what happened to the fifth? And do you care to tell me why your full became a tuck?” Zercey had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling at him right alongside her. Curran knew better than to switch up any of the flips this late in the game. At least he had the decency to hang his head and look sorry. She continued giving notes to the rest of the group, addressing Zercey last.
“Stay focused. Halfway through and your eyes look dead. I don’t care what else is happening around you. As a flyer, and as captain, there is no excuse for half-baked facials. Charm the crowd or else I’ll change the stunt groups.” Addressing the team at large she said, “I’ve seen enough of the dance, line up for the cheer.”
Dismissed, the squad walked back onto the floor, mentally preparing themselves for the hard work ahead of them.
Inwardly cursing Lerki for being the reason for getting reamed out, Zercey took a deep breath as she found her starting position. 
~*~*~
“Are you going to go to the dance on Saturday?” Raemina asked all of a sudden. She was sitting on Vyxen’s bed, splitting her concentration between completing flashcards they would need for their study session and watching Vyxen agonize over where to put the book she’d just finished on the shelves.
“Probably not,” Vyxen responded offhanded, grey eyes scanning her shelves for the sixth time. This book was the fourth in a set, but it was a different color than all the others. It would bother her not to keep the set together, but it would also bother her to ruin the color system she had in place. “Do you think it would look weird if I bought a cover for it so the color would match all the others?”
“I don’t think anyone but you cares what your bookshelf looks like.” Rae tried not to be amused, but she’d never seen a teenager so bothered by book colors before. “You will give yourself grey hairs if you keep that up.”
“No one would notice.” Vyxen struck a pose and dramatically flipped her platinum colored hair over her shoulder mimicking a gesture she’d seen Scyanatha do in the hallway. She placed the book down on her desk, resolving to go ahead and buy the cover before she shelved it, so that way everything would be in order. She made to return to the bed to help with flashcards, one knee pressing into her floral mint and coral bedspread, when she heard someone flying up the stairs.
A second later Nyima busted into her room, out of breath and looking panicked. “I think I have a date with Jingyi,” she wheezed as she bent over to catch her breath.
“What!?” Raemina jumped off the bed so fast she tripped. She grabbed Nyima by the wrist and dragged her over to the bed, jaw dropping lower and lower as Nyima told them the story of what happened in the video game store. “Are you serious!? This is amazing!” She hugged her until Nyima said she couldn't breathe.
“You’re really going to go to his house?” Vyxen was less ecstatic than Rae, but only because her mind was preoccupied by all the things two teens could get up to at someone’s house and it was threatening to make her faint. “Are his parents going to be there?”
“Hopefully not!” Raemina was giddy with excitement and a little jealous. Mostly she was happy. Nyima was the first of the three of them to get a date; this was a huge deal! “Maybe you guys will make-out!” She pressed on, ignoring how both Nyima and Vyxen flustered at the suggestion. “Do you think he’ll ask you to the dance? We’ll all have to go then, it will be amazing. We could go dress shopping and––”
“How's Rhys doing?” Nyima asked Vyxen, desperate to change the subject. She bounced off the bed and away from Rae’s grasp to inspect the chubby black goldfish lazily swimming around the large tank Vyxen kept beside her desk. “Is he still sick? He looks like he’s doing better. I researched what could cause it, I think it might impress the interviewer when I apply for veterinarian school for me to know about fish. Few people would care about things like that.” She trailed a fingertip across the glass and watched in amusement as Rhys followed it.
“No one cares about the fish!” Raemina noticed the attempt to change the subject and she wasn’t having it.
“I care about the fish
” Vyxen grumbled, pouting when her fish followed Nyima’s hand. Rhys never did that for her.
“Ok, whatever, we all care about the fish and he’s fine. Guys! This is serious. We have to go to the dance now, we have to.” If she could get them to agree she could ask Rhovan to be her date! This was perfect!
Nyima and Vyxen shook their heads. “I don’t really want t––”
“Vyxen, you’re going,” Raemina informed her, refusing to even let her suggest that she wasn’t. “It’ll be great, come on! We can get cute dresses, Nyima can dance with Jingyi and we’ll get to see that awesome new DJ! It’ll be so much fun! And––” Rae tried to persuade, dancing across the room to Vyxen’s computer to bring up Youtube. “Touch,’ by Little Mix poured from the speakers “––we can all dance together! We’ll show the Barbie club that they’re not the only ones with moves.”
“I don’t want to show them anything,” Nyima muttered under her breath. She tried to avoid Scyanatha and her friends and she’d like to keep doing that until she graduated and never had to see them again.
“Come on! I know you two know the moves!” Rae rocked her hips all the way down to the ground and popped her tiny butt out to the best of her capability, sending a wink over her shoulder.
Vyxen and Nyima giggled, rolling their eyes but joining in. Rae was too stubborn to let them off easy. Soon the room was full of pop music, laughter, and dance moves no one would expect from three perpetually shy and nervous girls. Butts were dropping to the floor, thighs were spreading wide and hair was being flipped every which way. They’d watched the music video enough at sleep overs to be able to follow the moves fairly well.
They were on one of the best parts of the song, all with their hands in the air and their hips thrusting forward, when a wolf whistle followed by the sound of clapping and loud laughter from the doorway caused them all to freeze in place.
Salem leant in the doorway with an evil smirk on his face, and Date and Rhovan were right beside him.
“Salem!” Cheeks burning, Vyxen stormed over to the door, screaming, “Get the fuck out!” She slammed it in his laughing face.
~*~*~
“I’m quite disappointed in you two,” Principal Chiyoko tutted from behind her desk. “Not only is smoking very damaging to your health, but we strictly prohibit such behaviour on school property.” She shook her head as she talked, desperately searching for a way to connect with the two students in front of her, who seemed to ignore her good advice at every turn.
Rhoe grumbled, arms folded tight against her chest and legs splayed in front of her. Cowan sat beside her looking bored. They were used to Ms. Chiyoko’s lectures. They'd received one at least once a week since school started. She tried everything: appealing to their good natures, suggesting they join a club so they could take up new hobbies and make friends, even going so far as to halfheartedly threaten to pull their parents in for a meeting. Unfortunately, she found it difficult making her soft and light voice sound firm. It was a challenge to get people to take her seriously.
“I’m afraid that this puts me in a rather difficult position. I can let you off with a warning this time, but if this happens again, you must serve an in-school suspension.” 
“What? That’s fucking bullshit! What kind of fucking joke is this shit?!” Rhoe let out a string of expletives.
Principal Chiyoko blinked, startled. “Now, young lady, I won’t have anyone speaking like that in my office.” She fixed the two with the sternest look she could muster. “For that outburst, young lady, I’m giving  you both a detention! You’ve dragged your friend down with you, doesn’t that make you feel bad?”
“No,” Rhoe replied bluntly.
Cowan snickered beside her.
Mrs. Chiyoko looked devastated, shrinking into her too-big yellow suit jacket and mumbling for the two of them to see the assistant principal, Ms. Queline for their detention slips.
Queline shot the two a scathing look when they exited the office. They were there every day, but no matter how many times Cowan and Rhoe got in trouble, they still caused mischief. Delinquents, the both of them, Ms. Queline thought savagely. If it were up to her, detentions would be a much more serious matter. What kids these days needed was a strong hand, none of this mollycoddling parents liked to do with them. Kids needed to learn respect even if that meant the hard way.  And they would use detention for something useful, like deep-cleaning the science labs; something where they worked with their hands and really thought about the consequences of their actions, not just another hour and a half of falling asleep and doing homework in a classroom. She sighed as she finished writing up their detention slips. “If I see you in here one more time before the end of the semester, you’ll be spending the entirety of your in-school suspension scraping gum off the desks and scrubbing this school from top to bottom, do you understand me?” She snapped, throwing the two slips of paper at them and ordering them to get out of her sight.
Detention used to be all in one room, but ever since someone found a used condom under a desk, Principal Chiyoko decided the best idea was to split it between two genders. So Rhoe stalked off to one room and Cowan walked into the other room, only to see Xyl and another underclassman whose name he didn’t know.
“What’re you in here for?” Cowan asked Xyl as he took the desk next to him. Better being stuck with someone he knew than spend the next ninety minutes in boredom. 
“Got caught passing notes.” It was true. In class earlier that day, he had tried to slip Date a piece of paper for some new Khrome ideas, but the idiot wasn’t paying attention, so they stuck him in detention when they were supposed to be having band practice.
Cowan nodded sagely. “Yeah, that’ll happen.” 
“What are you in for?” Xyl echoed, eager to keep the conversation going. It wasn’t often that he got to talk to Cowan without Rhoe there to scoff and roll her eyes at him while he did it.
“Your sister forgot to check the area before we lit up and Uwe busted us.”
Xyl nodded by way of agreement, but couldn’t think of anything else to say. He wasn’t really a people person, most of the time he just tried to stay out of the way and focus on things he enjoyed, like his band or
 The band!
“Oh hey, are you going to the talent show on Friday?” he tried to phrase the question as casually as he could so that Cowan wouldn’t think he was trying too hard. 
“Uhh
 I hadn’t really thought about it.”
“Oh.” They lapsed into silence once more.
“Are you?” Cowan finally said.
Xyl lost the thread. “Am I what?”
“Are you going to the talent show thing?”
“Oh, that.” He tried to act casual. “Yeah, my band will be playing there. It’ll be all right, I guess.” He linked his hands behind his head and tipped back in his seat, then overbalanced.
Cowan grabbed Xyl's chair to stop him toppling over. “Right, I forgot your sister said you had a band.”
Xyl cringed. He could only imagine what Rhoe had said about Khrome.
Cowan seemed to read his thoughts when he responded, “She seemed to think you all make more noise than you do music.”
“Well, actually we’re more punk than we are a noise band,” Xyl replied, not getting the joke. Cowan’s blank stare told Xyl he didn’t know what he was talking about. “Never mind,” he said lamely.
Mr. Bracken, who had the misfortune of supervising the boys’ detention today, finally looked up from his desk and reminded the students they should be doing homework and that there was no need to talk.
“Hey, I was planning to give Rhoe a ride home after this. If you wait with me, you can get a ride too,” Cowan whispered when Mr.Bracken’s attention became focused entirely on his book again.
“I’m actually heading to my friend’s house after this...” Xyl never wished he had a good reason to get out of band practice more. He might have done it anyway, but he’d never hear the end of it if he ditched practice with a show so close.
Cowan shrugged. “That’s cool. I can drop you off there too. Where does he live?”
“WHAT DID I JUST SAY?” Mr. Bracken’s voice rang out sharply in the quiet room and put an end to any further conversation.
“Remind me to never let you talk me into anything ever again,” Rhoe said to Cowan as the three of them emerged from their assigned classrooms. “Mr. Phanuel’s easily amused, and I had to spend the last ninety minutes listening to him and Miu go back and forth in a burping war. I have never been so close to killing someone in my life.” She stalked down the hall, radiating anger as she went and leaving the two boys to fall into step behind her. “And what the fuck are you doing here?” she growled when she noticed Xyl following.
“I offered to give him a ride,” Cowan answered, ignoring the exaggerated sigh that burst out of Rhoe's mouth. You would think Imogen, Rhoe and Xyl would be close considering they were triplets, but he’d never seen a set of siblings that disliked each other more.
“Whatever,” Rhoe snapped. “Just drop him off quick cause I don’t want to look at him.”
~*~*~
“WHOO! GO BABY!” Scyanatha's heels clacked as she jumped up and down and clapped when she saw Seth make a good move in the football game. She didn’t know or care much about sports, but she had bothered to learn enough about this game to know when her man was doing well so she could cheer him on properly. She clapped for a minute longer before dropping to sit beside Imogen on the bleachers.
The same set, interestingly enough, that Imogen made out under with Salem both yesterday and today. Luckily Scy didn’t know this, otherwise Imogen would no longer be sitting next to her if she did.
“Back to what we were talking about, you have to come shopping with us tomorrow Imo, I won’t take no for an answer. That new boutique I’ve been talking about for a month is finally open. Seth’s gonna buy the three of us any dress we want and if you’re worried about that stupid project for English, don’t be. Seth already has people lined up to write it for us.” Scy informed Imogen in a tone of voice that said Imo was going shopping tomorrow whether she liked it or not.
Imogen sighed as Scyanatha flicked open her mirror to reapply the lipstick that wore off when she ‘kissed Seth good luck’ for a full twenty minutes in the locker room before the game started. It’s not that she didn’t want to go shopping – she’d never turn down a chance to get free stuff from Seth – it’s that she planned to meet up with Salem. She’d spent the last month stealing moments with him. A full afternoon with no interruptions left her jittery and excited.
Scy snapped her mirror shut and turned to look at Imogen seriously and she knew then and there that she’d have no choice but to cancel on Salem. “Ok fine, you convinced me. I’ll ditch my study session and come shopping with you.”  
“Fabulous.” Scy turned to her left where a pretty, but entirely brainless lackey sat. “Oh,” she said, as if just remembering the girl was there, “you can come too, dear. Seth can buy you a dress as long as you let me pick it.” The girl was basically a servant, but on occasion Scy treated her and a few other lessers to keep them in line. And since she bought their clothes she could guarantee none of them looked better than her.
“Of course!” Laura was quick to agree, vibrating with happiness she’d been acknowledged. She didn’t often get invited to the shopping trips the other three girls went on and so this was a big deal. “You can totes pick my dress Scy, you have such good fashion sense. I’ve never even owned or worn a dress, so I wouldn’t know where to start.”
Scy swept her gaze down to the pale yellow dress Laura had on. “Uh-huh.” She didn’t comment further, turning away from the airhead, planning to continue ignoring her until she needed something again.
Imogen snickered, unable to feel bad for the idiot. She opened her phone, sending a brief text to Salem to let him know that she wouldn’t make it to their not-a-date tomorrow. She then spent the rest of practice splitting her attention between finalizing plans for the homecoming dance and listening to Scyanatha talk about her new shoes and how she and Seth better end up as Homecoming King and Queen or else she was going to sue to school.
Laura nodded like a dog and chirped in agreement.
Practice ended an hour later and Zercey came strolling out of the gym in six inch heels, head held high with Lerki following close behind her, trying to talk to her.
Scy and Imogen rolled their eyes at the same time.
“This is getting ridiculous,” Imogen commented as she gathered up her bag. “Lerki is only flirting with people to make her jealous and it works every time.”
“Zercey needs to learn how to control her man. Oh hey, you guys should come spend the night at my house tomorrow. We can get our dresses after school and I’ll give you two a crash course in dealing with boys. It’ll be embarrassing if those two don’t go to the dance together.” Scy knew Zercey liked Lerki, and she wanted to help her friend, but she also had an aesthetic going. Zercey was the cheer captain,  Lerki was the quarterback of the football team, they had to be together. Every movie said so, and Scy liked the look the two of them gave their group, so they better get their act together. “Oh, and you,” Scyanatha added to Imogen, making her way down the bleachers to meet Seth while Laura gathered her things for her. “You need a date for the dance. There are two hot football players that Seth says are single, pick one and I’ll make it happen.”
Imogen panicked. What sort of excuse could she come up with to get Scy off her back? She liked none of the football players that was true enough. Especially since they were all more concerned with beating the pulp out of other dudes than they were in having a conversation. But that wouldn’t be reason enough for Scyanatha. “I don’t know if that’ll work,” she said, trying to come up with a good justification for turning down her offer. “It’s just that I’m probably gonna be helping with the preparation and clean up, so a guy would just get in the way.”
Scyanatha pouted. “You’re no fun anymore.”
Seth saved Imogen by coming over and enveloping Scyanatha in a big, sweaty hug.
“Ew! Babe, don’t be gross!” she squealed, playfully slapping him on the arm. He smiled and kissed her.
Imogen was used to their excessive PDA, but was still thankful that Zercey finally caught up to their group in that moment. “Hey Zerce, how was practice?” Imogen was eager to have something to look at besides Scy and Seth sucking face. 
“Great!” she said in that voice that meant she was lying, and probably for Lerki’s benefit if Imogen had to guess.
Lerki caught up, passing them all to walk backwards in front of Zercey. “Are you still mad at me? That hurts my feelings,” he appealed, trying to make her look at him.
She refused and instead turned her attention to Imogen. “What’s up with you? Are you coming shopping tomorrow?” Zercey shook her hand out of Lerki’s grasp when he tried to touch her but otherwise did not indicate she knew he was there.
“Yep,” Imogen affirmed, not looking forward to it but knowing she had to go all the same. Shopping for formal events was a nightmare with Scy because she wanted them to look a certain way and their opinions meant nothing. It was a free dress though, so she couldn’t complain too much. “What color dress are you going for?” she asked, though they both already knew that it didn’t matter and they’d get whatever color that made Scyanatha’s dress stand out.
“I don’t care about the color.” Zercey yanked open the door to Seth’s pristine silver Mercedes and tossed her bag in. She usually caught a ride with Lerki but clearly that wasn’t happening today, which meant that Laura would be forced to ride with him instead.  “I just know my dress needs to be short and hot because I need a new boyfriend.” She slid into the car and slammed the door shut before Lerki had time to respond.
“If she puts a scratch on that door, you’re paying for it,” Seth informed Lerki, clapping him on the back before sliding into the driver’s seat with Scy, Imogen and Zercey and driving down the road.
This annoyed Lerki and he resigned himself to spending the rest of the night texting and sucking up to Zercey until she forgave him instead of doing something better like making her lose another bra. He slammed his own car door shut and drove off, moving much faster than what the speed limit advised and already thinking about what sort of present he would have to buy to make her talk to him again.
Poor Laura, meanwhile, stood forgotten in the parking lot. “It’s ok,” she chirped to no one, fishing around in her pocket for her cell phone. “I can find my own way home.”
~*~*~
Salem stumbled into his room and threw himself onto his deep red bedspread, laughing hysterically. He would never, ever, forget how red the nerdettes’ faces were when they realized their little show had an audience. He wished he’d had a camera to capture the moment. “That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.” He finally stopped laughing and crawled to sit on the edge of his bed while Date collapsed onto one end of an old black couch and Rhovan kicked the door shut before joining him there.
“I don’t know if you’re one to talk about ridiculous things when you’re carrying around a flask of Hawaiian Punch, wearing glittery makeup and claiming to be a child of the night,” Rhovan reminded him and cast a pointed look at the various vampire posters on the dark grey walls and the vampire novels lining the bookshelf to drive home his point.
“It’s an aesthetic,” Salem defended, “and the girls love it. That’s why I get panties thrown at me when we play shows.”
“I have never seen you get anything resembling underwear get thrown at you.” Date didn’t notice a lot of things, but he was sure he would have noticed that.
“You need to pay more attention then.” Salem ended the discussion there before they could call his bluff.
“Speaking of underwear
” Rhovan would never get the image of purple, lace panties out of his head now that he’d had a glimpse of them when Raemina’s plaid skirt hiked up during her dance. “Rae had nice ones, is she single?” He’d always thought she was kind of cute but he’d never paid much attention to her. She was a smarty-pants. He wasn’t. They lived in different worlds and all that jazz. He would have never thought she was the type to pull off ‘sexy’ and she’d just proved him wrong.
“Ew, please do not.” Salem pulled a disgusted face. He hadn’t seen or wanted to see any of the nerdettes’ underwear and couldn’t imagine why anyone would. “I do not need another one of you guys drooling over those brats.”
“Another?” Rhovan questioned, though his voice sounded far-away as if his thoughts were still down the hall and behind the door with a glittery green ‘V’ on it. He wondered if Rae had a date to the dance yet and if she’d consider going with him. He also wondered if all her underwear was lace, but he had to abandon that train of thought because it was sending all of his blood south.  
“Yeah, this idiot,” Salem waved his hand towards Date with a scowl, “has been creeping on my sister for months. You know that song where he mentions a ‘moon haired muse’ GUESS WHO THAT IS?”
“I’m not creeping,” Date corrected, flicking his black hair out of his eyes. He didn’t deny the accusation that the girl in his song was Vyxen.
“Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to jam out on my bass when you’re singing about banging my sister?” Salem shuddered.
“Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me to appear in public with you when you’re wearing fake vampire teeth?” Date challenged in his usual, bored tone of voice.
“IT’S. AN. AESTHETIC.” Salem slapped his knee to emphasise his point.
“Sure it is.”
The conversation amused Rhovan and he would have egged it on if they didn’t have bigger fish to fry. “Xyl is in detention, so we’re already losing time here, we need to focus if we’re going to get a set together for the talent show.”
Salem held his hands up and said, “I will play any song you want except ‘Ravage my Heart’ or any other song that mentions my sister. I’m not doing it. This is school and everyone will know who we’re talking about.” They probably wouldn’t know as Vyxen wasn’t popular or interesting, but Salem wasn’t going to take any chances. Imogen would be there, and he didn’t need her to think he was any weirder than she already did.
It was this scene that Xyl walked into when he finally arrived at the house. Rhovan and Salem were arguing about which songs to play and Date was in the middle, ignoring them both and scribbling furiously in his notebook. “What the heck is going on here?”
“You missed an awesome dance show.” Salem read the text from Imogen, eyes sweeping over her blunt cancelling of their plans tomorrow and recognized a chance to make himself feel better when he saw one. He said the words ‘dance party’ especially loudly so Vyxen and her friends would hear it.
“How did you get here so fast?” Rhovan asked, checking his watch to see that detention had ended barely fifteen minutes ago.
“My sister’s friend dropped me off.” Xyl dumped his bag on the floor and flopped onto Salem’s bed, trying and failing not to think about how nice Cowan had been and how much hotter he was up close.
“Oh yeah?” Salem tried to wrench his head around as casually as possible to look out the window, hoping to see a glimpse of Imogen in whatever friend’s car she’d came in.
“Yeah, he was nice. Rhoe was mad about it though, so I’m sure I’ll be hearing about that when I get home.” It wasn’t a conversation he was looking forward to. “Do you think I can crash over here tonight?”
“Sure.” Salem sighed in disappointment, turning his head away from the window when he realized that Xyl hadn’t been talking about the sister he was interested in.
“All right, now that everyone knows where everyone else will sleep, can we please talk about the set list? In case you somehow didn’t remember, we have a show in three days,” Rhovan practically shouted. It was days like these when he felt like he was the only one who took their band seriously.
“Hold that thought, I’m starving. Do you guys have money for pizza?” Xyl asked, prompting a great shuffling as everyone dug into their pockets to pull out their wallets and discussed what toppings to get.
Rhovan could have screamed.
~*~*~
Back home, in the safety of her own room, Nyima let out a deep breath to steady herself. She waited all of ten seconds after Vyxen slammed the door before she ran from the house after the humiliating episode with Salem and his friends. Today is so embarrassing! I should've stayed in bed! Her phone pinged with a text and she clutched her chest. Jingyi? Oh, poop. Why did I say text me?! WHY?! She inched her phone out of her pocket and sighed with relief when she saw it was just her friends group chat.
Glitteraffia: Sorry again about my dumbass bro. U ok?
Shiva fan 212: Yeah. It's okay. If I had a brother like that, I'd apologise all the time too.
Glitteraffia: LOL
Moon Princess: But, seriously, you guys, we should definitely get pretty dresses and go 2 the dance.
Glitteraffia: Rae, ur sitting 2 feet away.
Moon Princess: You keep ignoring me.
Moon Princess: Come on, Nyima. I bet Jingyi can dance.
Shiva fan 212: I can't.
Moon Princess: LIES! I saw you!
Shiva fan 212: Vyxen, get her.
Glitteraffia: Idkulik him and he likes u and it'd be cute af and pretty dresses.
Shiva fan 212: Traitor.
Shiva fan 212: Ok, fine. When things go Carrie it's your fault.
Glitteraffia: Carrie's awesome and they deserved it.
Glitteraffia: Scy would totally deserve it.
Moon Princess: She would.
Shiva fan 212: Lol ok.
Moon Princess: YES! VICTORY! After school 2moro!
Nyima put the phone down and sighed. She didn’t know why she agreed to it. She hated the mall; there was always too many people there, and crowds made her nervous. Maybe my mom will say no. She wasn't optimistic. Her mother was a free spirit. First Jingyi and then this? If she weren’t such a dedicated student, she’d consider skipping school tomorrow to avoid reality. The only redeeming part of the day was getting her new computer game, and she’d be breaking it open right now if she didn’t still have homework to do. Looking at the beautiful cover art beneath the plastic wrap, Nyima let out a sigh and then turned to her assignments, wondering somewhere between math and English if Jingyi was already playing his new game and maybe he’d tell her about it tomorrow.
By @guardians-of-las-vyxen & @yogiwithabook
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raeynnblackthorne · 7 years ago
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Loose Ends
( WARNING: Contains violence and death. ) 
Night had dawned upon the world in much the way a mother would swathe her child, a blanket of black curling around the desert that made southern Aldenard what it was. Even the wretched city of Ul'dah had succumbed to the tranquility that the rising witching hour had to offer – doors swung shut, and lanterns were lit, a new side of life waking to greet the starry night. Laughter flowed into the streets from the filled taverns, the raucous chuckles and clashing of mugs snuffing out the labored cries of alleyway beatdowns, leaving bodies slumped against the walls of the crowded buildings while the aggressors escaped into the night.
Elsewhere in that very same city, in the small storeroom of a long-abandoned shop stood a woman clad in dark leathers.  The shadows projected by her hood concealing the intentions within those hazel eyes of hers and she turned to regard her prey with a prying gaze.  Footfalls were light and quick, as she paced on the dirty stone floor in front of him, back and forth. Back and forth. A grunt escaped the man's lips as he tried to stand, but the drugs that polluted his body were making that a tough feat to accomplish. Finally, she halted and brought that hood of hers down so he could look upon his captor. Despite that veil of darkness, he would be able to make out her all too familiar features.
He was a sorry sight to look upon, but she didn't feel an ounce of regret as she gazed upon him. The color had all but gone from his face, eyelids were nearly swollen shut, and his hair fell from the front of his forehead in thin clusters from the sweat that gathered there. Blood trickled from one corner of his mouth as he finally opted to speak. “You were nothing more than a savage, and Aiden should have known better than to pick you as his favorite. We all knew he was a bloody fool; it didn't matter how many times he beat your ass you were always his 'beautiful monster'.'" A snarl escaped her lips, and she resumed pacing back and forth in front of him. Her hands trembled in rage and anticipation of things to come, and she dug her fingernails into the leather of her jacket.
“Did you think you could run far enough away that he wouldn't find you? Remember what happened to your other friend, what was her name again? Ah yes, Inkesa...” His ramblings were cut short as she violently kneed him in the ribs as hard as she could, the satisfying feeling of bones cracking under the ferocity of her attack. The man coughed harshly sending a thin spray of crimson blood onto the light stone floor. No, he was going to suffer, she didn't have the time to invest in the type of punishment he deserved, but she did have something particularly gruesome in mind. An unnatural growl escaped her lips and had someone been outside the room listening in they would have surely thought it had come from some manner of beast.  
Once he finally caught his breath, he lunged forward at her and strained against the rope that had been tied just a bit too tightly around his wrists. It had been so easy to hire some whore to slip some drugs into his drink while he was enjoying the tavern that he frequented every weekend. It had taken a few weeks of watching his routine and seeing the types of ladies he preferred. The curvy blonde hadn't even come at that steep a price. It seemed she had delighted in the fact that this guy was going to get what was coming to him. Perhaps she had seen the darker side of men a few too many nights.
Long ago Rae had come to terms with what she had become --- A hunter. A deadly, wicked one. That was what they had made her. Circling her victim like a cat toying with a mouse, she kicked him hard on the shoulder with the heel of her boot. The man fell forwards, and without his hands available to break his fall, his head hit the stone floor with a nasty sounding thud. As she crouched down beside him on the stone floor, she pulled out the Raven blade from its sheath at her thigh. The blade she saved for ‘special’ kills. Her prey was trying to wiggle and worm his way away from her, and so she grabbed his leg roughly in hand and then slashed his hamstring.
He wouldn't be going very far now.
The blade easily sliced through material, skin, and muscle. Sanguine fluid poured from the gash onto the floor, filling the small cracks in the stone with crimson. Cries came from deep within his chest; rabid animal sounds that twisted into raspy moans by the time they left cracked lips. His mouth twisted into shapes trying to form words, but it came out as nothing more than a guttural moan.
Now it was her turn to speak, and she grabbed a handful of his greasy hair giving his head a sharp yank back and then forward to smash off the floor once again. "You shut up, or I'll gladly cut out your tongue." Her mouth an ilm away from him as she growled that into his ear. "I was wondering to myself, what a good punishment would be for someone like you. Then it dawned on me, to be just forgotten would be terrible, wouldn't it? No marked grave for whatever loved ones you have to go and mourn you, not even the satisfaction of them ever knowing what happened to you. Just, gone." Her grip on his hair tightened, and she kept his head held back so she could look into his eyes as she spoke. "I wanted my face to be the last thing you got to see in this world, so you could die on your knees knowing it was me who did it."
She pressed the blade swiftly to the hollow beneath one ear and into his flesh. Blood began to seep from the wound as she then sliced the blade the rest of the way across his throat, the cut deep and straight, all the way to the other side. A wet choking sound left him, a tone of surprise and pain mingled together into a twisted symphony of misery. Blood was flowing freely down him now drenching his once clean shirt.
It was hypnotizing, and she found herself watching as the life drained from his body onto the floor. The same blood that splattered across her leathers as she had all but severed his head from his neck. With the flick of her wrist, she let his body fall to the floor.
Deft fingers reached into the folds of her armor, and she pulled out a little packet of matches, flicking one against the jacket it produced a small flame, and she dropped it atop his body. As she watched his clothes catch fire, she pulled off her ruined gloves to toss them atop the funeral pyre where they sizzled and melted to join with her now deceased prey.
Her task had been fulfilled and her trance broken the woman shook her head quickly before she whirled about on her heel. She returned to the streets of the city that she now called home, the fire at her back growing to engulph the entire storeroom to devour the man who would be forgotten in a foreign land.
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rae-unbeloved · 8 months ago
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Lmaooo me dying rn would be kinda funny if you thibk about it
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rae-unbeloved · 9 months ago
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WOO!! INTRO TIME!! đŸ”„
WASSUP MY G'S ITS YA BOY. RAE HERE. Ermmmm, Im a minor (13) – err they/them + any pronouns :3 non-binary and aroace BABYYYYY<3
Fandoms atm: Hamilton, Amrev, Los campesinos (UAHFHSJSJS) & sonic (I LOVE INFINITE SO MUCH)
Funky things under cut :D
MY FUCKASS TAGS BUT ONLY FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD đŸ”„đŸ’Ș
#rae's silly rambles = basically any of my crackhead posts that are actually mine
#🌿; Nico = MY BABYYYY (amrev oc) :3
#rae's misery rambles = my suffering <3
#the dice saga = my dice eating habits :]
#INFINITE MY BELOVED = me tweaking over Infinite The Jackal :3
#i love infinite = same as the last one <3
One of the silliest bitches in Scotland >:3
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ALSO A PICREW THAT KINDA LOOKS LIKE ME :3
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rae-unbeloved · 6 months ago
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Chat. Chat. Why the fuck is there a goddamn 'gyat mix' and 'rizz mix' on Spotify. I want to cry.
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What is this shit.
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rae-unbeloved · 8 months ago
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Chat i need ideas for drawing angst.
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rae-unbeloved · 1 month ago
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STOP BEING CANONICALLY DEAD YOU CUNT
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rae-unbeloved · 5 months ago
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Chat why can i not draw people anymore bro im crying just let met remember how to draw a persons body explodes
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rae-unbeloved · 5 months ago
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Kinda wanna be that fucked up girl rn chat
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rae-unbeloved · 7 months ago
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Yearning for acnh rn😔😔😔😔
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rae-unbeloved · 16 days ago
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I need to draw digitally more often holy shit
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