#ra'jah

[rikdrawsthings]

[t4yce]

RA'JAH O'HARA • canada vs the world 2.06 guest judge

[tampire]

Ra’jah O’Hara comforts Icesis Couture

[forensicbec]

Ya girl went to Pride yesterday It rained on and off and my feet hurt so much today but I still had an incredible time

[artificialqueens]

Hazy Shade of Winter (Ra'Jah O'hara x Icesis Couture) - Athena2

Summary: Ra'Jah helps Icesis through a depressive episode, and is there for her when she feels good again.

A/N: This is probably weird, but Canada vs the World just made me think these two could be fun as a pairing, and I wanted to try it. Thank you so much to Writ for encouraging me to do this and for basically giving me this idea. I hope you enjoy!

There’s a weak strand of sunlight peeking through the curtains, and for the first time in a while, it doesn’t make Icesis groan.

She rolls over, wincing as she unfolds her stiff and sore limbs. She had slept restlessly curled into the tightest ball she could manage, like it could protect her from the dark thoughts. Like if she took up less space, she’d feel less of the heaviness and guilt that had pinned her to the bed for so long. It was strange how she could feel so heavy and so empty at the same time.

Something in her feels lighter today, though. Like she’s not underwater anymore, trapped by the thought waves of how worthless she is, how pointless everything is. It’s a nicer current today, and she doesn’t even mind the wind howling outside, or the chill biting at her under the blanket. For the first time, things feel okay again. She feels okay again. Happy, really.

Ra'Jah is next to her, and it isn’t until now that Icesis realizes the dark side of her thoughts had expected her to leave—had even thought she deserved to have Ra’Jah leave. But she’s been here since yesterday, and she still is.

Iceiss was hit with a fit of guilt after avoiding her girlfriend for so long, so she lied and told Ra’Jah she was sick. Ra’Jah came over with a container of soup, and when she saw Icesis buried in bed, unable to get up, she offered to stay. Icesis lost track of how many times she told Ra'Jah that she could leave if she wanted, that she didn’t have to stay and deal with her when she was like this. But Ra'Jah wouldn’t leave. She had cleaned Icesis’ room, sorted her piles of mail, put days-old dirty dishes in the dishwasher—all the mundane chores Icesis hadn’t had the energy for. She brought her water and hot soup. She had seen the worst of Icesis, wiped the tears off her cheeks and combed the tangles from her hair and helped her change into clean pajamas. Icesis never wanted anyone to see her like that, and would just hide away until the storm passed, but Ra’Jah had braved the storm for the both of them. She had seen the worst, and she didn’t leave.

Ra'Jah shifts and opens her eyes, turning to Icesis with a hesitant smile. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah. Did my knees cracking wake you?” The joke feels weird, especially with how hoarse her voice still is from the lack of use and the constant stream of tears, but it’s good to make a joke again. Good to feel happy and safe in this bed with Ra'Jah.

“How are you feeling today?”

“I think I feel good. No, I do feel good. Really good, actually.” It’s like the first day of feeling fully well again after an illness. Everything seems brighter and more defined; even the striped sheets under her feel softer than normal. The weight has lifted from her chest somehow, and she can breathe again. She doesn’t know what’s shifted in her brain to make the depression clear away, make things hopeful again, but she’s grateful for it.

“That’s good.” Ra’Jah pulls her closer, bringing Icesis to her chest. She rubs her back, and it’s so gentle and loving that Icesis feels the familiar sting of tears in her eyes, because Ra’Jah has been kinder to Icesis than she ever thought anyone could be. Ra’Jah holds her a little tighter, whispering that it’s okay.

“Fuck, I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Icesis says thickly. “But it’s not for sadness.” Joy, maybe, that she’s happy and here with Ra’Jah, or the relief of getting through the worst. She’s surprised she has any tears left, but it feels like the last of the depression releasing itself from her.

“Sometimes you just have to feel your type of way and cry,” Ra’Jah says calmly.

Icesis sniffles and pulls away, cheeks reddening at the damp patch on the shoulder of Ra’Jah’s purple sweatshirt. “I’m sorry, I ruined your shirt—“

Ra'Jah shrugs. “It’s just a sweatshirt. And washing machines exist, you know.” She grins. “I know you know, because you complain about laundry almost as much as you complain about your back and knees.”

Icesis actually laughs, and she’s pretty sure it’s her first real laugh in weeks. One that feels easy and light, not something she had to force to pretend she was functioning.

“It’s good to hear your laugh again.” Ra’Jah strokes her hair. “Is there anything you need right now? Anything you want to do?”

Icesis is happy right now, happy and safe and feeling like a functioning human being. She could take advantage of that and do something with Ra’Jah today, go shopping or get breakfast or anything, really. And part of her wants to. But she’s also coming out of the worst depressive episode she’s had in a while, and it still lingers in the shadows. She could push herself to do something, but Ra'Jah is always reminding her to take it easy and take care of herself when she needs to. She’d rather stay here, where she's happy, than risk the fragility of that happiness by trying something else. Her bed has been part refuge and part prison lately, but right now, with Ra’Jah, it’s a safe haven, and she wants to stay in the safety.

“Can we just stay here today?” Icesis asks finally.

“Of course. It’s probably better to just stay where you are if you’re happy here,” Ra’Jah says, reasonable as always, like she’s reading Icesis’s mind. “Besides, it’s snowing outside, you know my ass hates the snow.”

“It is?” For the past few days, Icesis’ world has shrunk to her bed, the bathroom, and the worst recesses of her mind. She never noticed the weather outside, and slammed the clock face-down because it just made her worse to think of how much time she was wasting trapped in bed.

“I’ll show you.” Ra’Jah gets up and opens the curtains, then pulls up the blinds.

Icesis sits up slowly, gritting her teeth through the dizziness, and a snowy wonderland is revealed from the window. It’s nothing but a slushy mess in the street, but it’s so pretty while it falls. Fluffy and soft, clean and bright with hope, and some of it settles in her chest.

“I’m gonna make hot chocolate.”

Icesis stares out the window while Ra’Jah clangs around in the kitchen. She watches the snowflakes flutter in the wind, dancing gracefully to the ground. It reminds her of sledding as a kid, of the snow clinging to Ra’Jah’s shoulders when they first met. It’s the most beautiful thing Icesis has seen in what feels like forever.

Ra’Jah presses a steaming Jack Skellington mug into Icesis’ hands, because of course she remembered her favorite mug. The warmth stings against her palms, but she welcomes it. Welcomes the sign that she can feel again—because there’s so much more to feel than the darkness.

Icesis breathes in the scent of chocolate, sweet and rich. She forced herself to eat a few spoonfuls of soup yesterday, but her stomach rumbles, and she sips eagerly. Too eagerly. “It’s hot!” she whines, but she’s not even mad over the burnt tongue.

“Who could’ve guessed hot chocolate would be hot?” Ra’Jah teases.

Icesis just smiles as Ra’Jah settles back next to her. She could have left, but she didn’t, and it means more to Icesis than she thought possible. “Um, I wanted to thank you. For, you know, for helping me with everything, and staying here when you didn’t have to.”

Thank you for seeing me like this and still loving me. The words don’t come out, but she thinks Ra’Jah understands.

“Maybe I didn’t have to. But I wanted to,” Ra’Jah says firmly, nothing but love in her eyes. “I know you want to hide those bad things from me, but you don’t have to. Those things are part of you, Ice, but they’re not all of you. And I love all of you.”

For a second, Icesis worries she’s going to cry again because Ra’Jah’s words send a warmth even stronger than the hot chocolate through her. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Ra’Jah kisses her forehead gently. “You’re welcome.”

Icesis leans her head against Ra’Jah’s shoulder, and they watch the snow together. 

[incidentalgifs]

[tony-andonuts]

Anyways thank god for vpns bc rewatching all stars 6 is distracting me

[lipsyncforyourlife]

[gusterindrag]

"Grin" pairs well with Ra'Jah O'Hara I want to take a moment to explain--I chose Ra'Jah for this song when I had only seen her on Season 11. When I started All Stars 6 about halfway through this project, I immediately realized that Ra'Jah was getting a very different edit this time around, but I stood by my song choice for her. As the season progressed, though, it became very clear that Ra'Jah both fully understood that her Season 11 behavior was a problem and did significant personal work to be better prepared to handle the competition constructively. I gave her "Lightning Rod" to acknowledge her artistry and personal progress, but I also wanted to keep her on "Grin" because it gives more opportunity to show off her amazing performance abilities. Since I finished all of this, she has gone on to win rather more than an extra song in this silly little Tumblr project, and I am so happy for her.

Bonus Ra'Jah appreciation:

[ilargeicontradictmiself]

Miss raj'ah is at least serving drama

[rikdrawsthings]

[t4yce]

RA’JAH O’HARA • winner of canada vs the world

[tampire]

Victoria Scone and Kendall Gender in Canada’s Drag Race VS The World

[lincolnpatinkin]

Ra'Jah O'Hara

[roxxxy-android]

The pussy Hall of Fame: Ra'Jah O'Hara, Latrice and Nina Flowers. Nyass!

[petitmonde]

Who else is on the team and what positions, and who is coaching them? 🏆

Well, it should be pretty obvious that the rest of the group are Denim and Nearah. Luna is the leader, Aurora is the center (most of the time). Denim also has a hand in designing their outfits.

They have various coaches that switch in and out whenever they need it.

Alyssa Edwards gets flown in when they have to choreo music videos and other major appearances. Icesis comes by occasionally for their regular dance classes.

The house of Doll & Couture handle their outfits and makeup.

Monet is their singing coach. Idk, I just think it makes sense, though I could see Ra'Jah or Shea fill this role too.

Fierce is their social media manager, and everyone wonders how the hell she managed to land that gig.

Lemon and Priyanka are signed to the same company. They aren't training the Lovebugs, but that doesn't stop them from giving very "helpful" advice on how to improve.