#qwest talks

[tossacointoyourlocalidiot]

chilshi is just thilbo (bagginsheild) in another font

[dante-sol]

So I was moving my Plushy Collection and had to reorganize it. I need another bookcase.

List of Plushies from top to bottom below.

Top Shelf

Derivakat

VRcat

Chickn Nuggit

Koko the Gryphon

Orca Pup (Shylily)

Buttercup the dog

SCP 096

Qwest (Swords Webcomic)

Turnip Boy w/ a gun

Big Ears (Goblins Webcomic)

Kobold (JoCat)

Silver Fox

Deadly Comics

Second Shelf

Penny (Penny and Hachimitsu)

ToonrificTariq

Cliccy Kitty

Grumpy Onetopic

Jamiedodger

Aylia (RageGamingVideos)

Cotton (RageGamingVideos)

Vash The Stampede

Ed (Cowboy Bebop)

Sewphie

ADHD Alien

Third Shelf

Natsu (Fairy Tale)

Zero (Megaman X)

Cosmic Wonders Cyana (P.M. Symour)

Slips (Fools Gold)

Sneeze (Fools Gold)

Baby Beanie (Webcomic)

Rogue Goblin (JoCat)

Pepper the Saltshaker (Salt Raiders)

Fourth Shelf

Navy Teddy Bear (From Childhood)

Teddy Bear (From Childhood)

Tubby Nugget

Koro-sensei (Assassination Classroom)

Space Engineers

Neil (Coffee Talk)

Mr. Riggs

Bottom Shelf

Pachimari (Overwatch)

Terroriser Horse

Technoblade

Camille (Webcomic)

Cyborg Chan (Scott Falco)

Beer (Travellers Rest)

[captorcorp]

idk if it’s just not working on this screen but my right ds trigger might be broken OTL

[darkwood-sleddog]

@groenendaze​ this is a question I get a lot, I agree she is really unique!

Zombie is registered as white. White in Alaskan Malamutes is ‘ee’ or ‘recessive red’. The recessive red masks other pigment beneath it, but the dog retains its normal pigment on its eye rims, pads, nose etc (she has black pigment on these areas, much like a Golden Retriever or a Samoyed).

Now Alaskan Malamutes do come in red like Mick-Shrock’s Akicita Qwest WTDX ROMWD below (a recent ancestor of all of my dogs):

but the red in Alaskan Malamutes is on the “brown” or Liver Locus which causes the pigment of ALL of the dog to be brown (like the nose for example or eye rims, much like a Chocolate Labrador).

So why does Zombie have such reddish coloring to her coat? Simply put, there are different intensity levels of the recessive red color (think of the difference between a pale almost white “english” golden vs a deep red american field line golden). There is a gene responsible for the intensity difference in malamutes...talked more about HERE, but it is basically how we get the difference between the Classic Gray and White:

vs a “Sable” Alaskan Malamute (the dogs are not genetically sable...it’s a breed term), 

Sigurd & Zombie’s Mom, Yoko Nordiclight of Indian Valley WPD WTA WTDA ROMWD is a sable dog and having met her in person I can attest to just how brownish these dogs are in person, the phaeomelanin (the red pigment) really shows through and you get an very different looking coat color than the completely washed out classic Gray & White.

Sable can occur on ANY color, like this Black & White boy, FI CH EE CH RU CH HeJW-15 SM-REK-4-18 KNIGHT ASLAK POLÀRNÌ ÙSVIT, seen here on the left next to a non sabled dog:

Slash’s mom, Nordiclight’s Salem WTD  (and Slash also!) displays this intense pigmented sableing. Typically dogs on the black and tan spectrum (like they are) display very washed out phaeomelanin, making them almost indistinguishable from seal & white (domino black & white in genetic terms), but for some reason this genetic line has very intense phaeomelanin. Slash’s mother’s father is the littermate of Sigurd & Zombie’s mother, Slash’s mom Salem below:

So based on what we know about coat color and sableing, as well as the placement of the phaeomelanin pigment in non-white dogs that have sableing, Zombie’s color can be explained as white, with sable. 

[swordscomic]

Have you considered making/offering plushies of your characters? Personally, I'd love a qwest sprout plushie.

Yes, I’m talking with 3 different companies about it at the moment.

[starsailorstories]

I feel like I don’t talk about Rin enough for them being a main POV character of the trilogy just bc they didn’t exist back when i was like a midsize fandom blog(TM) and nobody knows who they are

but that’s not fair so here’s some random things i love about rin

i’ve brought this up before but has this hilarious thing going with lux and mari where all three of them think they’re the grounded, responsible one

music taste inherited from their mom and oh does it show

freakishly athletic because lux figured out when they were 7 that they get a lot more homework done when she lets them do her intense martial artist training routine with her but absolutely antithetical to organized sports in every other aspect of their personality

“qwest?”

accommodating/flexible to a fault but still tries to relate to the various obsessives constantly surrounding them by being like “hey. i get it. i draw a very narratively ambitious webcomic.”

(also: lowkey sees their whole space adventure as research for their webcomic)

absolutely INCREDIBLE ability to Snap when they hit a limit like idk if this is a weird thing to say about an OC but rin stands out in the cast for me for having an exceptional capacity for satisfying anger

gender fluctuates between flannelshorts and sundresssneakers with an occasional detour into blatant Fantasy Protag And Knows It

either says nothing or exactly what they’re thinking

sometimes what they’re thinking is “When I look at that swoopy thing in your hair I imagine tossing a little ball in there”*

*direct vol. 2 quote (to Chivalry, who for her part responds by saying it’s actually good for storing pens)

[blogroof250]

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[tossacointoyourlocalidiot]

tell me why ⁽ᵃᶦⁿ’ᵗ ⁿᵒᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗᵃᶜʰᵉ⁾ the harry potter fandom is so big on ao3 yet i can’t find a single well written fic on a character/pairing I like

[blackkudos]

Carmen McRae

Carmen Mercedes McRae (April 8, 1922 – November 10, 1994) was an American jazz singer. She is considered one of the most influential jazz vocalists of the 20th century and is remembered for her behind-the-beat phrasing and ironic interpretation of lyrics. McRae was inspired by Billie Holiday, but she established her own voice. She recorded over sixty albums and performed worldwide.

Early life and education

McRae was born in Harlem, New York City, United States. Her father, Osmond, and mother, Evadne McRae, were immigrants from Jamaica. She began studying piano when she was eight, and the music of jazz greats such as Louis Armstrong and Duke Ellington filled her home. When she was 17 years old, she met singer Billie Holiday. As a teenager McRae came to the attention of Teddy Wilson and his wife, the composer Irene Kitchings. One of McRae's early songs, "Dream of Life", was, through their influence, recorded in 1939 by Wilson’s long-time collaborator Billie Holiday. McRae considered Holiday to be her primary influence. She was a lifelong active Democrat.

Early career

In her late teens and early twenties, McRae played piano at a New York City club called Minton's Playhouse, Harlem's most famous jazz club, sang as a chorus girl, and worked as a secretary. It was at Minton's where she met trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie, bassist Oscar Pettiford, and drummer Kenny Clarke, had her first important job as a pianist with Benny Carter's big band (1944), worked with Count Basie (1944) and under the name "Carmen Clarke" (having married Kenny Clarke) made her first recording as pianist with the Mercer Ellington Band (1946–47). But it was while working in Brooklyn that she came to the attention of Decca’s Milt Gabler. Her five-year association with Decca yielded 12 LPs.

Chicago interlude

In 1948, she moved to Chicago with comedian and impressionist George Kirby, with whom she had fallen in love. At the end of the relationship, she worked as a pianist and singer at the Archway Lounge. She played piano steadily for almost four years at a number of clubs in Chicago before returning to New York in 1952. In Chicago she developed her own specific style. Those years in Chicago, McRae told Jazz Forum, "gave me whatever it is that I have now. That's the most prominent schooling I ever had."

Return to New York

Back in New York in the early 1950s, McRae got the record contract that launched her career. She was voted best new female vocalist of 1954 by DownBeat magazine. MacRae married twice: to drummer Kenny Clarke from 1944 to 1956, though they separated in 1948; and to bassist Ike Isaacs in the late 1950s. Both marriages ended in divorce.

Among her most interesting recording projects were Mad About The Man (1957) with composer Noël Coward, Boy Meets Girl (1957) with Sammy Davis, Jr., participating in Dave Brubeck's The Real Ambassadors (1961) with Louis Armstrong, a tribute album You're Lookin' at Me (A Collection of Nat King Cole Songs) (1983), cutting an album of live duets with Betty Carter, The Carmen McRae-Betty Carter Duets (1987), being accompanied by Dave Brubeck and George Shearing, and closing her career with tributes to Thelonious Monk, Carmen Sings Monk (1990), and Sarah Vaughan, Sarah: Dedicated to You (1991).

As a result of her early friendship with Billie Holiday, she never performed without singing at least one song associated with "Lady Day", and she recorded an album in 1983 in her honor entitled For Lady Day, which was released in 1995, with songs including "Good Morning Heartache", "Them There Eyes", "Lover Man", "God Bless the Child" and "Don't Explain". McRae also recorded with some of the world's best jazz musicians in albums such as Take Five Live (1961) with Dave Brubeck, Two for the Road (1980) with George Shearing, and Heat Wave (1982) with Cal Tjader. The latter two albums were part of a notable eight-year relationship with Concord Jazz.

Performances

McRae sang in jazz clubs throughout the United States—and across the world—for more than fifty years. She was a popular performer at the Monterey Jazz Festival (1961–63, 1966, 1971, 1973, 1982), performing with Duke Ellington's orchestra at the North Sea Jazz Festival in 1980, singing "Don't Get Around Much Anymore", and at the Montreux Jazz Festival in 1989. She left New York for Southern California in the late 1960s, but appeared in New York regularly, usually at the Blue Note, where she performed two engagements a year through most of the 1980s. In May–June 1988, she collaborated with Harry Connick Jr. on the song "Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone" (S. Clare & S. Stept) in New York City at the RCA Studios, for Connick's debut album, 20. She withdrew from public performance in May 1991 after an episode of respiratory failure only hours after she completed an engagement at the Blue Note jazz club in New York.

Death

On November 10, 1994, McRae died at her home in Beverly Hills, California, at the age of 72. She had fallen into a semi-coma four days earlier, a month after being hospitalized for a stroke.

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Carmen McRae among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

Awards

Discography

A Foggy Day with Carmen McCrae (Stardust, 1953)

Torchy (Decca, 1955)

Carmen McRae (Bethlehem, 1955)

Blue Moon (Decca, 1956)

By Special Request (Decca, 1956)

After Glow (Decca, 1957)

Boy Meets Girl with Sammy Davis Jr. (Decca, 1957)

My Foolish Heart (Vocalion, 1958)

Carmen for Cool Ones (Decca, 1958)

Mad About the Man (Decca, 1958)

Birds of a Feather (Decca, 1958)

When You're Away (Kapp, 1959)

Porgy and Bess with Sammy Davis Jr. (Decca, 1959)

Book of Ballads (Kapp, 1959)

Performing Music from the Subterraneans with Gerry Mulligan, Andre Previn (MGM, 1960)

Something to Swing About (Kapp, 1960)

Play Dave Brubeck's Points On Jazz with Gold and Fizdale (Columbia, 1961)

Tonight Only! with Dave Brubeck (Columbia, 1961)

Carmen McRae at the Flamingo Jazz Club (Ember, 1961)

Take Five Live with Dave Brubeck (Columbia, 1962)

The Real Ambassadors (Columbia Masterworks 1962)

Carmen McRae Sings Lover Man and Other Billie Holiday Classics (Columbia, 1962)

Something Wonderful (Columbia, 1963)

Live at Sugar Hill San Francisco (Time, 1963)

Bittersweet (Focus, 1964)

Second to None (Mainstream, 1964)

Haven't We Met? (Mainstream, 1965)

Woman Talk (Mainstream, 1966)

Alfie (Mainstream, 1966)

For Once in My Life (Atlantic, 1967)

The Sound of Silence (Atlantic, 1968)

Live & Wailing (Mainstream, 1968)

Portrait of Carmen (Atlantic, 1968)

Just a Little Lovin' (Atlantic, 1970)

Carmen McRae (Mainstream, 1971)

Carmen's Gold (Mainstream, 1971)

The Great American Songbook (Atlantic, 1972)

Carmen (Temponic, 1972)

Alive! (Mainstream, 1973)

It Takes a Whole Lot of Human Feeling (Groove Merchant, 1973)

As Time Goes By/Carmen McRae Alone/Live at the Dug (Victor, 1974)

Ms. Jazz (Groove Merchant, 1974)

Live and Doin' It (Mainstream, 1974)

I Am Music (Blue Note, 1975)

Live at Century Plaza (Atlantic, 1975)

November Girl with Kenny Clarke Francy Boland Big Band (Black Lion, 1975)

Can't Hide Love (Blue Note, 1976)

At the Great American Music Hall (Blue Note, 1977)

Ronnie Scott's Presents Carmen McRae Live (Pye, 1977)

Jazz Gala 79 (Personal Choice, 1979)

Two for the Road with George Shearing (Concord Jazz, 1980)

I'm Coming Home Again (Buddha, 1980)

Recorded Live at Bubba's (Who's Who in Jazz, 1981)

Ms. Magic (Accord, 1982)

Heat Wave with Cal Tjader (Concord Jazz, 1982)

Love Songs (Accord, 1982)

I Hear Music with Chris Connor (Affinity, 1983)

You're Lookin' at Me (A Collection of Nat King Cole Songs) (Concord Jazz, 1984)

Any Old Time (Denon, 1986)

Ms. Magic (Del Rack, 1986)

Live at the Great American Hall San Francisco with Betty Carter (Great American Music Hall, 1987)

The Carmen McRae-Betty Carter Duets (Great American Music Hall, 1988)

Fine and Mellow: Live at Birdland West (Concord Jazz, 1988)

Carmen Sings Monk (Novus, 1990)

Sarah: Dedicated to You (Novus, 1991)

For Lady Day Volume 1 (Novus, 1995)

For Lady Day Volume 2 (Novus, 1995)

Dream of Life (Qwest, 1998)

Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday at Newport (Verve, 2001)

Live at Midem with Thad Jones (TKO Magnum, 2000)

At Ratso's Volume 1 (Hitchcock Media, 2002)

At Ratso's Volume 2 (Hitchcock Media, 2002)

I'm Coming Home Again (Essential Media 2008)

FilmographyFilms

1955: The Square Jungle - Herself

1960: The Subterraneans - Herself

1967: Hotel

1986: Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling

Television

1976: Soul

1976: Sammy and Company

1979: Carmen McRae in Concert

1979: Roots: The Next Generations

1980: From Jumpstreet

1981: At the Palace

1981: Billie Holiday. A Tribute

1982: L. A. Jazz

[whatsupsac]

What’s Up With Your Weekend, 7/19 - 7/21/19

Friday

Light.Wav Tech Art Showcase: Light.wav is an annual 2-day digital media art showcase fusing art and technology through light, space and sound. Both nights will have live performances, we’ll transform an empty space into what can be described as a “modern-day dreamscape” where attendees will find themselves immersed in a sensory experience. Also happening on Saturday, 18+ 7PM-midnight. $10+ 

Sacramento Japanese Film Festival at Crest Theatre: The 15th annual Sacramento Japanese Film Festival begins with Destiny, The Tale of Kamakura. Arrive early to browse the card and book boutiques in the lobby. Doors at 630PM. Film at 730PM. $10

Danai Gurira’s Eclipsed at Celebration Arts: (Yes, that Danai Gurira!) Tony-nominated, Danai Gurira’s Eclipsed follows the experiences of a group of captive “wives,” subject to the whims of a Liberian rebel officer in a rebel army camp in 2003. With the arrival of a new girl who can read, and the return of an old one who can kill, their possibilities are quickly changed. These defiant survivors wonder about a different destiny.  The play offers a chilling, humanizing and surprisingly funny portrait of transformation, and celebrates the women who navigate and survive their hostile circumstances. 8-10PM $20

Saturday

Oak Park Fix- It Cafe at 3600 Broadway: Get tools sharpened, clothing mended, bikes repaired and more at this community-driven effort to make do. 11AM-2PM

Lunafest 2019 at the Guild Theatre: Carrie’s TOUCH has partnered with Lunafest for an amazing, and inspiring twist on traditional fundraisers- a film festival For, By, and About Women. Help support, and create more African American Breast Cancer Survivors. Join the pre-screening mixer, and immediately following, will be the 2-hour screening of various films. 2-5PM $35

Impatiens Bloom Day Party at Flamingo House: Local DJs Karizma, Rich Soto, and Greg Albers spin disco, house and worldwide sounds, accompanied by designer Jackie Taylor showcasing her pieces and a special selection of vintage. 21+ 2-8PM Free. 

Lipstick Presents We Are Your Friends at Old Ironsides: The Lipstick crew and friends bring you a Blog House Revival featuring music by artists like Justice, The Twelves, MSTRKRFT, Chromeo, Vitalic, Soulwax, LCD Soundsystem, Breakbot, Peaches, Ladytron + more. 21+ 9PM-130AM $5

Sunday

Sacramento Audio Waffle at Red Museum: Norcal NoiseFest presents the loudest breakfast in town, featuring noise artists accompanied by free coffee and waffles. Ear plugs provided. All ages 12 - 3PM $8+

Sacramento Zine Symposium at Central Public Library: Learn about and participate in the production, history, and fun of zines at this event featuring panel discussions, lightning talks, and creation spaces for  exploring the world of zines. All ages. 12-4PM. Free. 

Funday Frolic at Faces: Enjoy some post-brunch drink specials & an evening of fancy frolics dressed in your Funday best. With music by K2, Pumatron, Jon E Qwest and Amy Roze and visual delights by Kitteh Klub and Branden Kern 21+ 3-10PM No cover. 

On Our Radar

We’re adding this segment to share events in advance or links we just think you would like. 

7/21: Sacramento Ballet is offering tickets to see The Nutcracker at discounted prices through July 21st. 

7/27: Garden the Grid, midtown’s summer garden tour supporting Alchemist CDC, will feature 15 gardens throughout midtown, Two Flew the Coop backyard chickens, Bee Love Beekeeper demonstrations, kitchen composting lessons from ReSoil Sac, and succulents from The Prickly Pear. $10.

8/2: Absorbed: Summer Edition is a collaborative multimedia art explosion at Beatnik Studios featuring art by Joshua Tremain, Felicia Gabaldon, and Erica Avila, music from Jon Bafus and Vox Musica, dance by Capital Dance Project, bites from Niche Events, and drinks by Jungle Bird, Boochcraft Kombucha and Urban Roots Brewing. $35. 

[admsneezeguards-blog]

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ADM Sneezeguards popular company for sneeze guards and they are popular because sneeze guards must be present in all self-service dining establishments. While they are still popular with self-service operations, COVID-19 has transformed them into something else entirely. Which are disbursed when coughing, sneezing even talking. ADM Sneezeguards manufactures sneeze guard and food guard. Our sneeze guards and Portable Barrier are based on the latest innovative designs.

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[tossacointoyourlocalidiot]

another day, another moment i am deprived of well written female centric fanfiction that isn’t just romance

[otiss131]

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GetResponse currently provides unlimited use of its autoresponders with unlimited follow-up messages and number of subscribers. Which are critical 19 alternative domain names for sending messages.

Think upon the calls and also your your family need produce. Are they mostly to UK landlines? Do you regularly call other countries? Or are every bit of your calls to family and friends in the US and Canada, or in India? Make certain the VoIP provider features a call plan that suits your calling habits.

Can I stream music online?Some of your OD2-powered sites offer a choice of streaming a track (ie. playing it once) for 1p. You get a degree of credit, and utilize it for a mix of streaming and purchasing tracks.

They Lowest Price IPTV Provider earned a new CEO Dick Notebaert. He ran one of the other baby bells, Ameritech out of Chicago until it was acquired by SBC who changed its name eventually to AT&T. His job was conserve Qwest, which was in swimming pool is vital imploding.

You will always make free PC-to-PC calls seeking use a VoIP provider such as Skype. May possibly be just right for you, as long as you need to mind being tied  computer. The person you're calling must can provide broadband, also wants have listed to identical provider, and should also be at their computing. This set-up suits associated with people. You can also make calls from your laptop to other's phones, anyone will be charged for those people. And you will still have to be sitting for the computer, of course.

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[supersupersounds]

Vital Sound by Monkey Marc

Monkey Marc - Vital Sound LP

15 years ago Monkey Marc and his Combat Wombat crew dropped ‘Qwest’, a track that sounded like nothing else at the time, somehow welding the heaviest of reggae skanks onto their raw, P.E.-inspired hiphop sound. Ever since then Monkey has been concocting hiphop/reggae hybrids of ever increasing power and geez, Vital Sound has just blown everything before it right out of the water.

Monkey pairing up with some of the greatest Jamaican dancehall MCs of all time (Sizzla, Capleton, Ninjaman) was always going to be like pouring petrol straight onto a fire, and guess what... it is. Hearing Capleton spit over hiphop beats this good (on No Surrender) is nothing short of a revelation, this is just fresh as hell. Same again for Ninjaman (on Badness), that beat is Roots Manuva worthy it's that good. No shit, this is like watching all the stars in the sky suddenly aligning, it’s a hiphop head’s absolute dream come true.

The collabs with younger, next generation Jamaican MCs like Fyah Roiall are also killer.  ‘Willie Lynch’ especially is just gold, and when the bass drops down that octave to where it belongs, ohhh, that’s me in heaven.

Now, we seriously need to talk more about Monkey Marc and bass. This album is gonna destroy sound systems from Melbourne to Kingston and back, cause these are some of the lowest, warmest, most powerful subs you’ve ever heard. Check the weight of ‘Give Thanks’, fuck...

Vital Sound - 15 years in the making and totally worth the wait. Get on it. -Kris

[anonymous-hopeful]

Danganronpa: Quest For Hope!

Available on AO3!

Start from the beginning! : https://anonymous-hopeful.tumblr.com/post/168895738213/danganronpa-quest-for-hope

Chapter Four: The Love Chef

Welcome Back! Continue game?

*YES          NO

Let's go!

.........................

You are now Sonia Nevermind.

CONGRATULATIONS! The heir BYAKUYA TOGAMI and the librarian/psycho TOUKO FUKAWA/GENOCIDER SYO HAVE JOINED YOUR PARTY! Go ahead, sing it loud and proud!

NEW ITEM: Feather!

(One of the red feathers you found in the library. You can use it to change Touko into Genocider, and vice-versa.)

Feather can be found in your inventory!

NEW WEAPON: Iron Fist!

(As heir to the wealthiest company in Hoposelic, you must be able to climb the corporate ladder and strike down your opponents with an Iron Fist!)

NEW WEAPON: Geno-Scissors!

(Genocider Syo's famed weapon!)

NEW MINI-QUEST: Spellbook!

(Hidden within the depths of the library is a spellbook. Touko never really thought much of it, but it may be important now!)

Begin Mini-Quest?

YES           *NO

Alrighty then.

A rumbling sound fills everyone's ears!

BYAKUYA: Anyone have an explanation for that horrid noise?!

CHIHIRO: s...sorry...

TOUKO: What? T-that was you?

CHIHIRO: Heh, I'm hungry.

MONOMI: I could go fowr some fwood twoo!

"I agree! All of this questing makes you hungry!"

BYAKUYA: Okay, let's say we go to eat. Where would we...

Byakuya starts to sniff the air.

BYAKUYA: That smell is...captivating...

Touko sniffs the air.

TOUKO: I-it smells good...

Chihiro and Monomi sniff the air.

MONOMI: Mmm!

CHIHIRO: I'm getting even more hungry!

You sniff the air.

"Well what are we doing? Follow that scent!".

You and your party follow the scent trail in the air. Unfortunately, you encounter a group of TEN MONOBEARS!

"Uh Oh!"

Who should attack?

*Byakuya

 Touko

 Chihiro

  You

(Attack: Iron Fist)

USE IRON FIST?

*YES      NO

(Byakuya attacks with his Iron Fist! He does well! THREE MONOBEARS are crushed!)

The MONOBEARS want to retaliate! They scratch your party! Everyone loses ten H.P.!

Attack Time!

  Byakuya

  Touko

 *Chihiro

    You

(Attack: Hacker Program)

USE HACKER PROGRAM?

 *YES          NO

(Chihiro uses his Hacker Program! It does wonders! TWO MONOBEARS are fried!)

The MONOBEARS are too fazed to fight back!

Open Inventory?

  *YES        NO

INVENTORY: Scroll

                  *Feather

  Use the feather?

  *Yes        No

TOUKO: AAACHOO!

GENOCIDER: Guess who!

 It's fighting time!

    Byakuya

   *Genocider

     Chihiro

      You

(Attack: Geno-Scissors)

USE GENO-SCISSORS?

 *YES            NO

(Genocider uses her Geno-Scissors! What a slice! FOUR MONOBEARS are cut up!)

 The last MONOBEAR is angry! He kicks GENOCIDER's nose!

GENOCIDER: Ow! AACHOO!

TOUKO: Ugh, my nose...

Poor Touko! She's lost twenty H.P.!

   Let's strike back!

     Byakuya

     Touko

     Chihiro

     *You

(Attack: Everlasting Bow and Arrows)

 USE EVERLASTING BOW AND ARROWS?

   *YES                NO

(You use the Bow and Arrows! Show that Monobear who's boss! The LAST MONOBEAR was shot!)

Victory! You and your party have earned FORTY HOPE SHARDS!

"Now then, I think we've earned ourselves a nice meal!"

You and your party follow the scent trail. It leads you to a small restaurant in the woods.

Enter?

    *Yes              No

You and your party enter the restaurant. Inside sits a rather muscular teen.

???: I SEE YOU'VE FOUND THE HANAMURA DINER!!!!

BYAKUYA: No need to yell, you inconsiderate beast.

???: HA! Sorry, it's a force of habit. I'm Nekomaru Nidai. NICE TO MEET YOU!!!

"Hello, Nekomaru, my name is Sonia Nevermind!"

NEKOMARU: YOU MEAN THE PRINCESS ?!?!?!

"Well, Queen actually..."

NEKOMARU: I AM HONORED TO MEET YOUR ACQUAINTANCE!

TOUKO: It's obvious.

NEKOMARU: I'M SORRY!!!

CHIHIRO: Apology accepted! I am Chihiro Fujisaki.

TOUKO: I-I'm Touko Fukawa.

BYAKUYA: Byakuya Togami, heir to the Togami fortune.

MONOMI: I am Monomi!

NEKOMARU: Nice to meet you all! No one's really come here since...since...ugh...

"Nekomaru, what's wrong?"

NEKOMARU: I HAVE TO TAKE A MASSIVE SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!

Nekomaru runs into the nearest bathroom.

BYAKUYA: Thanks for letting everybody know.

As the party sits down at a table, a short cook, sorry, chef comes out of the kitchen.

CHEF: Oh, hello! I notice you've met Nekomaru?

"Yes, he's quite the character."

Chihiro's stomach growls.

CHEF: Where are my manners? You've come for a meal, hmm?

TOUKO: Yes...can we eat now?

CHEF: Patience, darling. It takes time to whip up a good meal.

"We're willing to wait all day!"

CHIHIRO: Don't say that so quickly...

An hour later...

CHEF: Here you go, sweethearts! It's a favorite; beef stew. Mama taught me how to perfect it.

He passes everyone a bowl.

BYAKUYA: Thank you, but I am not partial to commoners food.

CHEF: You haven't tasted it yet <3

At once, you and your party take a sip...then another...and another...it's as if the food has you in a spell...

CHIHIRO: It's so good!

MONOMI: I want mowr!

"So do I!"

BYAKUYA: I never thought I'd say this...this commoner's food...is the best I've ever had!

TOUKO: Y-you don't ch-charge for seconds, do you?

CHEF: Of course not! In my restaurant, everyone eats free<3

The chef returns to the kitchen.

MONOMI: Uwuu...uwuu...

BYAKUYA: What's with your mumbling?

MONOMI: I agweed to go to the westarant because I sense hope...uuuu, but it's too muwch...I down't think we're the onwy guests...

CHIHIRO: I don't understand, Monomi.

MONOMI: Use your twacker!

Chihiro pulls out his tablet. As soon as it turns on, it starts sounding off like an alarm.

CHIHIRO: Whoa, there's a lot of hope here! Three vessels!

TOUKO: But there's only two people here.

"Maybe the device is broken?"

BYAKUYA: Or maybe they're hidden inside the restaurant?

CHIHIRO: I'll go look!

You are now Chihiro Fujisaki.

You move around the restaurant. The place seems so small, how could anyone be hidden here?

The alarm has already gone off around the restroom, and near the kitchen. Where could the last person be?

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!

"The alarm! Oh...I didn't notice this door...".

 Enter?

  *Yes            No

You enter the room. It's a bedroom, and someone's sleeping on the bed.

"Hello? I'm sorry to disturb your rest.".

They don't move, so you decide to get closer.

"Um...hello?"

Something's not right...you move beside the person, and take off the blanket.

He's not sleeping! He's enchanted! You can tell by the way his heart glows through his chest!

"Oh my..."

You are now Sonia Nevermind.

"Chihiro's been in that room for a while...you don't think-"

CHIHIRO: GUYS, COME QUICK!!!

BYAKUYA: That's our cue.

You and your party make way to the room. Chihiro's holding the enchanted teen.

CHIHIRO: I found him here! He's a knight! His armor's in the corner...

"Wait a minute! I recognize him!"

MONOMI: You do?

"Yes! That's KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU, the youngest member of the Royal Guard! One day, while on an errand, he disappeared, and no one was able to find him!"

TOUKO: I-I knew it...

"Knew what?"

TOUKO: The flirty attitude...his food...he's a LOVE WITCH...

BYAKUYA: That must've been why we loved his food so much...

MONOMI: And why no one has to pay!

CHIHIRO: Maybe Kiyotaka had too much...

TOUKO: T-that's how he became enchanted...

???: Hmm? Oh, you're all naughty, aren't you?

"That's not good..."

The chef enters the room, visibly upset.

CHEF: Didn't anyone ever tell you it was rude to invade other's privacy?

BYAKUYA: Didn't anyone ever tell you that you shouldn't enchant knights?

CHEF: Well played... it wasn't my intention...

"So why didn't you try to fix him?"

CHEF: Isn't it obvious? The fix to every Love Witch's spell is-

TOUKO: True love's kiss...

CHEF: Exactly. Without his true love to kiss him, he stays like this.

CHIHIRO: Be honest...were you trying to enchant us too?

CHEF:......

"I could have you imprisoned for this!"

CHEF: I have my motives...none of you would understand.

MONOMI: It's still not nice!

"How about this, we take Kiyotaka and attempt to find his true love, and we'll leave you and Nekomaru."

MONOMI: WE CAN'T DO THAT! ONWY TEWUTEWU KNOWS HIS TWUE LOVE! BESIDES, BOTH HE AND NEKOMAWU NEED TO JOWIN OUWR QWEST!

"Wait...Teruteru?"

TERUTERU: That's my name....TERUTERU HANAMURA...and none of ya ar' goin' ANYWHERE!!!

TERUTERU advances on your party!

Looks like it's battle time!

   *Byakuya

     Touko

     Chihiro

      You

(Attack: Iron Fist)

USE IRON FIST?

*YES            NO

(Byakuya packs a punch on Teruteru! His moan is suggestive...He lost 20 H.P.!)

TERUTERU: Oh, Byakuyaa~

BYAKUYA: What the?!

TERUTRU: Come here, sweetie<3

(Teruteru places a sweet kiss on Byakuya's lips...it's hard to watch...)

Byakuya lost 40 H.P.!

Byakuya's too dazed to fight!

Speaking of....

    Byakuya

    Touko

    Chihiro

    *You

(Attack: Evrelasting Bow and Arrows)

USE EVERLASTING BOW AND ARROWS?

   *YES          NO

(Pull, Aim, Fire! That's how to fight a witch! Teruteru lost 10 H.P.!)

Teruteru winks at your party...you all can't help but feel timid...everyone loses 10 H.P.!

Open Inventory?

   *Yes         No

INVENTORY:  Scroll

                    *Feather

 Use Feather?

    *Yes         No

TOUKO: AAACHOO!!

GENOCIDER: Guess who!

Teruteru looks into your eyes...

TERUTERU: You look hungry <3

"Nope, not really..."

TERUTERU: Not the answer I was expecting...

Teruteru spares you.

Back to battle!

 Byakuya

*Genocider

  Chihiro

  You

(Attack: Geno-Scissors)

USE GENO-SCISSORS?

  *YES        NO

(Genocider takes a stab at the chef! How is he not bleeding? Teruteru lost 50 H.P!)

TERUTERU: Say "aah"~

GENOCIDER: Wha?

Teruteru stuffs a rice ball in Genocider's mouth. She can't help but chew it! Genocider lost 30 H.P.!

Byakuya can now fight again!

Let's go!

     Byakuya

     Genocider

    *Chihiro

      You

(Attack: Hacker Program)

USE HACKER PROGRAM?

 *YES          NO

(Chihiro activates his program! Wait, that actually worked? Teruteru lost 20 H.P!)

Teruteru feels dizzy.

Teruteru whispers in your ear...Drat! A spell! You've lost 40 H.P.!

Now's our chance!

   Byakuya

  Genocider

   Chihiro

  *You

(Attack: Everlasting Bow and Arrows)

USE EVERLASTING BOW AND ARROWS?

  *YES        NO

(The shots have been fired! Teruteru loses the last 10 H.P.!)

TERUTERU: Oh....It seems like I've been completely dominated...

VICTORY!!! You and your party have earned 100 HOPE SHARDS!!

TERUTERU: Ugh...

BYAKUYA: Alright, talk.

TERUTERU: Huh? I don't understa-

BYAKUYA: You said you enchanted Kiyotaka for a reason. What's the reason?

GENOCIDER: Duh! Isn't it obvious?

CHIHIRO: Not really.

GENOCIDER: It's like, a common witch fact. When a new witch comes into power, it's usually controllable, the only case of not being able to control their powers being them loosing their birth mother.

"Wait....what?"

GENOCIDER: It may not seem like it, but witches are deeply connected to their birth mothers, no matter what they specialize in. If a witch becomes separated from their birth mother for a certain amount of time, or if the birth mother dies, the oldest child will receive an intense influx of power that can't be controlled.

CHIHIRO: Teruteru...is this true?

The chef turns away.

TERUTERU: My mama left with my little siblings months ago on a trip to another kingdom...I promised to stay here and run the shop...Nekomaru promised to stay with me so I'd be safe...

BYAKUYA: Now that you mention him, how come he wasn't affected by your magic?

GENOCIDER: Oh, Byakuya, my knight, a love witch's true love isn't affected by their magic.

TERUTERU: That's how Nekomaru was never enchanted. Believe it or not, the knight...Kiyotaka...was lost in the woods for quite some time before he came across this diner...I offered him a nice meal because he had been out on the wild for so long. He ate and ate...until he passed out...when I saw he was enchanted, I knew two things...one, my mama was in big trouble, and two, I was going to meet the same fate.

"I...I'm so sorry..."

TERUTERU: There's no need to be.

He turns to face the group.

TERUTERU: I guess I need to accept my powers and learn to use them for good...you said Nekomaru and I could be used for a quest?

MONOMI: Oh! I awlmost forgot!

BYAKUYA: Really? After he forcefully fought us?

MONOMI: I'm suwre he was newrvous. Pwease Tewu, we'd weally appweciate it!

TERUTERU: Well, there's nothing else I could possibly do.

CHIHIRO: Yay! Let's go find Nekomaru.

"I think I know where he is."

You and your party return to the dining area. Nekomaru stands outside of the bathroom panicked, but when he sees you and your group, he's relieved.

NEKOMARU: THERE YOU ARE! I THOUGHT YOU LEFT ME!!

Teruteru goes to hug Nekomaru.

TERUTERU: Oh, sweetheart, I'd never leave you!

GENOCIDER: Byakuya, why can't we be like that?

BYAKUYA: Here we go again.

TERUTERU: Say, Nekomaru?

NEKOMARU: hmm?

TERUTERU: Would you like to go on a quest? You and me~

"And me, Chihiro, Genocider slash Touko, Monomi and Byakuya."

BYAKUYA: I'm mentioned last?

MONOMI: Not impowrtant!

NEKOMARU: If it's with you and the Queen, then COUNT ME IN!

"Great! We'll be saving Hoposelic in no time!"

[pcwpolwrestling]

There's Collusion I Tell You, Collusion Everywhere!: PCW Extreme Political TV

THIS WEEK ON EXTREME POLITICAL TV -Jerrold Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance) intern Nicholas Tarkowski returns to bring ‘oversight’ to PCW for a three straight week. -PCW Owner Dawn McGill announces that ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott will get another shot at PCW Champion Stone Chism at Loose Cannons Unleashed. -McGill also announces that Russian referee Corrina Romanov would return full time after the Russian Collusion investigation yielded no more indictments. -Buzz Aldrin vs. Conspiracy Theory Guy -CNN’s  Jim Acosta PO’d that CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump won’t call on him. -TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH-The Sports Entertainment Coalition (‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams) vs. The Dork Dynasty (Leonard and Sheldon Robertson) -Tarkowski finally finds something on Dawn McGill and calls Nadler. -PCW TELEVISION TITLE: Jack Fraiser © vs. Big Oil ================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

EARLIER TONIGHT PCW owner Dawn McGill exits her rental car in parking garage just off to the side of the Qwest Center in downtown Omaha, Nebraska.

Like last week, Nicholas Tarkowski- an intern sent by Jerrold Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance) to ‘oversight’ PCW and dig up dirt on PCW and McGill- is waiting for her by the side entrance.

Tonight, he’s a very sad panda. Why?

REPLAY: The Blue Brand’s Tuesday Night Political Shakedown Show

In the ring, Tarkowski delivers his findings on PCW.

But instead of ripping on PCW and owner Dawn McGill, Tarkowski speaks glowingly about his ‘eye-opening’ discovery of the ‘free marketplace of ideas’ where people talk and listen to each other like adults with respect.

Professor McCarthy and his Flock are outraged by this and storm the ring, forcing Tarkowski to flee. The Flock literally chase him from the building.

Dawn McGill: Yeah. I saw that. That looked rough.

Nicholas Tarkowski: It’s like if I didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear…

Dawn McGill: Well, you didn’t. That’s why they reacted the way they did.

Tarkowski lets out a sigh.

McGill points out in fairness that it’s not just the Progressive Alliance who does this.

REPLAY: The Red Brand’s Monday Politico is Wh-arrrr!

Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins gives his impression on PCW’s Free Marketplace of Ideas.

Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins: The problem with a Free Marketplace of Ideas is that it gives the lower and middle class masses the false impression that what they say or what they think actually matters.

Elkins paused for the requisite boos from the country club elites supporting his proposition.

Elkins then declared what really matters is…

Steve ‘The Elk’ Elkins: …money. Money equals power and influence.

That brings a more ‘receptive’ response.

Nicholas Tarkowski: Mr. Nadler says if I don’t come back this time with some dirt on you and PCW, then I can kiss my internship goodbye.

McGill puts her arm around him.

Dawn McGill: I’m sure we can find some dirt for you.

That brightens Tarkowski up.

Nicholas Tarkowski: Really?

Dawn shakes her head.

McGill and Tarkowski walk past the Guild of Low Level Reporters Trying to Make a Name for Themselves picketing on the outside (‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder, ‘Low Level CNN Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns, ‘Low Level Washington Post Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller)

They’re picketing outside the arena because McGill banned the New York Times, the Washington Post, and CNN from covering PCW. Why?

When the Progressive Alliance/Blue Brand Show banned Fox News from covering their events because ‘Fox News is not in a position to cover the Progressive Alliance in a fair and neutral manner,’ McGill decided to make a point by using the same criteria towards the Washington Post, CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times, and the networks and banned them from covering PCW shows.

All Three Members of the Guild (chanting): Let us in! Let us in!

Suffice to say, they weren’t happy.

McGill shakes her head and signs off with a middle finger salute as she and Tarkowski breeze past them.

==============================

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN Monday March 25th, 2019 Qwest Center Omaha Omaha, NE

Announcer: ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder ==============================

The camera pans all over Omaha’s Qwest Center as PCW is on the air!

Spotlights move back and forth through the crowd.

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Cut to ringside where ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave stands at the broadcast table next to an unhappy Colleen Crowder.

Johnny Suave: Hello everyone! Welcome to Political Championship Wrestling!

Crowd: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!…

Johnny Suave: I am Johnny Suave. She is ‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder. Tonight, we are at the Qwest Center in Omaha, Nebraska for another night of political wrestling action!

First topic of business. What happened at the end of last week’s show during the PCW Title match between the champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and the challenger, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott.

REPLAY: PCW Title Match between Stone Chism © and Kevin Scott

3rd MINUTE …Chism whips Scott hard into the corner turnbuckle. Chism throws haymakers. Boot to the gut. Chism ducks under a wild right. Chism steps in…wraps his arms around Scott…and belly to belly suplexes him. Chism goes to pull Scott back up.

Johnny Suave: IT’S PROFESSOR McCARTHY AND HIS FLOCK!

Deep State 1 and 2 hit a double-team Deep Valley Driver on Chism.

The Green World Order attacks. GreenPete holds Scott up. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee hits his finisher ‘The Juicer’ on the American Citizen.

The GWO lays the boots to Scott. The Deep State and the Antifa do the same to Chism.

Johnny Suave: It’s a fourteen on two beatdown on Chism and Scott!

Johnny Suave: The PCW Tag Team Champions Rah and Halitosis and ’Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and the along with the Les Miserables came to their aid. But ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan…whom the Flock had broken his leg in late 2018 and put him out of action for months…decided it was the perfect opportunity to exact a little payback.

REPLAY: William Daniels Bryan Going Full ‘Rockette’ on the Flock

One by one, Bryan Crane Kicks every single member of Professor McCarthy’s Flock.

==

DAWN McGILL COMES OUT TO ADDRESS THE SITUATION The PCW owner walks out to the ring carrying a clipboard.

Johnny Suave: Loose Cannons Unleashed from Washington D.C. is just two weeks away. Last week’s PCW title match was scuttled by outside interference. And the other two PCW title matches also need to be announced for the show.

Suave pauses for comment from Crowder.

…

Johnny Suave: Okay. Insightful as ever, Colleen.

(We hear the sound of Crowder whapping Suave on the shoulder)

McGill announces that since Kevin Scott didn’t get his opportunity last week thanks to the interference of Professor McCarthy’s Flock in the match, she has booked Scott to face PCW Champion Stone Chism for the title at Loose Cannons Unleashed.

Dawn McGill: That was an easy one.

She checks that off her list.

Next, the PCW Tag Team Title match. McGill confirms that the Island of Misfit Wrestlers Rah and Halitosis will defend their title at Loose Cannons Unleashed against the winner of the Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson and The Sports Entertainment Coalition: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams.   That match will take place later on in the show.

She checks that off her list.

Dawn goes on to the PCW Women’s Title match.

Dawn McGill: Since Yosemite Samantha lost to ‘Canadian Cyborg’ Sheline Carrigan in a number one contender’s match for the Women’s Political Universe title, she will defend the PCW Women’s title belt at Loose Cannons Unleashed. She will face the winner of the ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot versus former Hooter’s waitress turned pro wrestler C.J. Lewis next week on Extreme Political TV.

And she checks that off her list.

Finally, Dawn has an announcement to make.

Dawn McGill: Now that we’re finally done with this Russian Collusion stuff and she’s been exonerated from any wrongdoing, I am pleased to announce that not only has referee Corrina Romanov has been restored to full time duty here in PCW, I have promoted her to senior referee.

(We hear Crowder spitting out her drink)

Colleen Crowder: WHATTTTT!

Romanov, the Russian referee who found herself stuck in the middle of Russian Collusion-gate the past two plus years after she officiated the Trump-Clinton match at 2016’s Extreme Election Night, walks to the ring.

Romanov shakes hands with McGill.

Johnny Suave: So, Corrina Romanov is now the chief referee here in PCW and the reaction is…

(The sound of a pair of angry fists slamming on the broadcast table.)

Johnny Suave: …pretty predictable. We’ve got more coming up right after these messages…

(Most pounding on the table.)

Johnny Suave: …and requisite temper tantrum.

Suave does a quick rundown of the rest of the show: -#1 Contender’s Match/Tag Team Title: The Dork Dynasty vs. The SEC -tonight’s main event is for the PCW Television Title: Jack Fraiser © vs. Big Oil

Johnny Suave: Back with more right after this.

========================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Brought to you by the Progressive Alliance:

[PCW Owner Dawn McGill watches the action on a monitor in her office.]

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

[She lifts her gaze towards the door.]

Dawn McGill: Enter.

[It’s Progressive Alliance Leaders Nancy Pelosi from California and Chuck Schumer from New York.]

Dawn McGill: Nancy. Chuck.

[Pelosi and Schumer approach her desk.]

Dawn McGill: What can I do for you?

Nancy Pelosi: Dawn, we’re here to offer you a golden opportunity.

[Dawn looks at her apprehensively.]

Dawn McGill: Golden opportunity?

Chuck Schumer: Yes. It’s time for the PCW to come home…to the Blue Brand.

[Dawn sits back in her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Come home to the Blue Brand.

Nancy Pelosi: That’s right. The Progressive Alliance is all about the little guy and the Blue Brand is the perfect place for them to be.

Dawn McGill: Really, now?

Chuck Schumer: Now, of course, your wrestlers will have to start all the way at the bottom.

Dawn McGill: At the bottom.

Nancy Pelosi: Well, we do have some wrestlers who are bankrolled by some of our big money supporters so they would obviously have to be pushed ahead of a newcomer.

Chuck Schumer: Plus, there’s the whole seniority thing that has to be taken into consideration.

Dawn McGill: That sounds intriguing…but I think I’m going to pass.

Nancy Pelosi: I see, you want us to sweeten the deal.

[Pelosi makes a hand gesture that denotes ‘sweetening the deal.’ McGill’s not sure what she’s doing. Even Schumer wonders what the hell she’s doing.]

Nancy Pelosi: Okay, we can throw in higher taxes, excessive regulations, artificial solutions to health care and wage stagnation-

Dawn McGill: Artificial solutions?

Chuck Schumer: Big government trickle down, economic mandates versus doing the hard work to formulate concrete long term solutions and promoting policies that create organic growth.

Dawn McGill: Ahh…gotcha.

[She’s not impressed.]

Dawn McGill: Guys, that’s a bad deal.

Nancy Pelosi: Ooooh…we’ve got a haggler here.

Chuck Schumer: Yes we do.

Dawn McGill: Um no. I’m not haggling.

[But yet, the haggling begins.]

Chuck Schumer: Okay…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…Miss McGill, we’ll even throw in political correctness…

Nancy Pelosi: …deep state bureaucrats and activist judges undermining the will of the people…

Chuck Schumer: …and maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine like they have for the past 25 years.

Dawn McGill: Really?

Nancy Pelosi: And last but not least…

[Former PCW CEO Barack Obama enters.]

Barack Obama: I’ll be the first one to welcome all of the bitter clingers to the Blue Brand!

[Dawn’s eyebrows raise.]

Nancy Pelosi: That’s our final offer.

[Dawn gets up from her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Um, no. If you’ll excuse me.

[She sprints for the door.]

Chuck Schumer: Oh…it’s the run out of the office and…

[Dawn slams the door behind her.]

Chuck Schumer: …shut the door in our face trick!

========================

PCW ON THE ROAD March 30th – Taft Coliseum / Columbus, OH March 31st – Mayo Civic Center / Rochester, MN April 6th – Loose Cannons Unleashed PPV @ the D.C. Armory / Washington, D.C. April 12th – Buccaneer Arena / Urbandale, IA April 13th – McLeod Center / Cedar Rapids, IA April 14th – McElroy Auditorium / Waterloo, IA April 19th – Owensboro Sportscenter / Owensburo, KY April 20th – SIU Arena / Carbondale, IL April 21st – Gibson Arena / Rolla, MO April 27th – Berry Events Center / Marquette, MI

========================

Johnny Suave: And we’re back. While we were gone, this A-hole came to the ring.

Cut to the ring.

Conspiracy Theory Guy: I don’t care what the Mueller report says. Russian Collusion is true. Trump collaborated with the Russians. Especially that Russian referee!

The crowd boos back.

Conspiracy Theory Guy: Just like George W. Bush gave the orders for the World Trade Centers to be bombed on 9-11.

More boos.

Conspiracy Theory Guy: And the moon missions in the sixties and seventies never happened and the whole thing was done on a movie set.

The crowd boos him unmercifully.

Conspiracy Theory Guy: It’s all true! It’s all-

*WHACK*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! THAT’S ASTRONAUT BUZZ ALDRIN!

Buzz Aldrin, all of 89 years old, stands over Conspiracy Theory Guy with a steel chair in his hands.

A referee slides into the ring.

Johnny Suave: Wait! Is this a match?

Apparently so. The referee calls for the bell.

*DING-DING*

MATCH #1 Buzz Aldrin vs. Conspiracy Theory Guy Aldrin exits the ring in search of plunder.

Colleen Crowder: What the hell is he doing?

Meanwhile, fans in the crowd start holding up other weapons for Aldrin to use. Sticks. Video game consoles. Iron skillets.

Aldrin’s attention is piqued by one item. It’s a small scale replica of a Saturn Five rocket.

Colleen Crowder: What’s happening?

Johnny Suave: It’s a shame this guy decided to do this on ‘Bring Your Own Weapons’ night.

Which alarms Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: Bring your own weapons night?

Suave explains that tonight, fans are allowed to bring weapons for the wrestlers to use in the match.

Colleen Crowder: Well, that’s not right!

Conspiracy Theory Guy finally starts to stir. He gets to a sitting position. Aldrin back in the ring with the model Saturn Five rocket.

*WHAP*

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Colleen Crowder: Why?

Aldrin swings the rocket and blasts it over the guy’s head. The rocket splinters into multiple pieces. Then Aldrin takes the nose cone and grinds the pointy end into the guy’s forehead. He’s busted open soon enough.

Crowder is repulsed and says Aldrin’s done enough. Someone throws an old school ‘Gimbal’ ball into the ring. Aldrin takes it with this hand…turns… and blasts the guy in the mouth with it.

He’s out.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, this is ridiculous!

Aldrin covers…one…two…three.

*DING-DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: IT’S OVER!

Colleen Crowder: Thank God.

WINNER: Astronaut Buzz Aldrin @ 2:27

Aldrin gets in a couple boots on the guy as a parting gift.

Johnny Suave: Buzz Aldrin with the win. He becomes the oldest person to ever wrestle in PCW and the oldest person to win a match.

Colleen Crowder: This was completely pointless.

Johnny Suave: And speaking of pointless…or shall I say meritless. No more indictments from the Mueller investigation that was released on a Friday where the nation’s attention was going to be focused on March Madness.

Colleen Crowder: Just because no more indictments will be issued doesn’t mean something didn’t happen.

Johnny Suave: Remember all this?

REPLAY: Various comments made a few weeks ago.

Cut to:

VIDEO: Adam Schiff (CA-Progressive Alliance)

Adam Schiff: I think there is plenty of evidence of collusion or conspiracy in plain sight.

Cut to:

VIDEO: Maxine Waters (CA-Progressive Alliance)

Maxine Waters: Trump has the Kremlin clan surrounding him. There is more to be learned about it. I believe there has been collusion.

Cut to:

VIDEO: John Podesta (former Chief of Staff)

John Podesta: It is starting to smell more and more like collusion.

Cut to:

VIDEO: Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance)

Nancy Pelosi: We saw cold, hard evidence of the Trump people and, indeed, the Trump family eagerly intending to collude, possibly with Russia.

==

Crowder says she doesn’t accept that it’s over.

Johnny Suave: That’s because you have an inherent- and obvious- bias.

Crowder goes ballistic.

Colleen Crowder: For the last time, we do not have an inherent and obvious bias towards any one side.

Johnny Suave: Yeah, the people think you’re full of crap. Ted Koppel says you’re full of crap. And I think you’re full of crap!

That sets Crowder off. She gets up and leaves the broadcast table.

Johnny Suave: Speaking of temperamental journalists, this happened earlier in the week…

JIM ACOSTA’S BLUES Suave talks about a press conference earlier in the week that CEO of the Political Universe Donald Trump (NY-American Patriots) held to discuss his budget proposal.

Johnny Suave: Apparently, Acosta was trying to ask a question and the usual directing attention towards himself.

Crowder objects to Suave’s characterization.

Colleen Crowder: Jim Acosta is a respected journalist trying to do his job.

Johnny Suave: Jim Acosta is a preening, attention seeking political commentator masquerading as a reporter.

REPLAY: Acosta tries to get Trump’s attention

Acosta raises his hand. Trump calls on someone else.

Johnny Suave: …but Trump wouldn’t call on him. Acosta became…how you say…frustrated.

REPLAY: Acosta tries to get Trump’s attention again

Acosta stands and waves his hands back and forth. No response. He then stands on the chair and waves his hands back and forth.

Nothing.

Johnny Suave: Really, frustrated.

REPLAY: Acosta not happy.

Acosta holds up a flashy sign board that says ‘Jim Acosta is right here’ and demands to know why Trump won’t call on him.

Nothing.

Johnny Suave: Really, really, frustrated.

REPLAY: Acosta continues to try and get Trump’s attention again

Acosta holds up a boom box over his head and blares Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’ in the room.

Trump still doesn’t call on him.

==

CONTROVERSY EARLIER TONIGHT Suave reports that the #1 contender’s match between the Red Brand’s Charlie Blackwell from Main Street USA and the Blue Brand’s The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior went off earlier but under a cloud of controversy.

Johnny Suave: The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior demanded that the match be fought under California’s Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rules. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rules state judges can overturn wrestling results for non-wrestling, political reasons.

For example…

REPLAY: The Blue Brand’s Political Shakedown – March 5th, 2019 Blue Dog D vs. The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior

Blue Dog D pins the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior and thinks he’s won the match.

Then the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior appeals the referee’s ruling- a ruling based on the fact that Blue Dog D had actually pinned USJW’s shoulders down for a count of three- based on the fact that Blue Dog D wasn’t far enough to the left to win the match.

The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals agrees and waves off the pinfall. The match continues.

A few minutes later, Blue Dog D again pins the USJW.

Again, the Ninth Circuit waves off the result.

Finally, Professor McCarthy’s Flock hit the ring and clobbers Blue Dog D into submission. The Ultimate Social Justice Warrior makes the cover. One…two…three. He gets the pinfall.

This time, the Ninth Circuit sanctions the result.

Suave explains the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals tried to intervene in the match. Dawn McGill came down and basically kicked them out of the arena. Incensed, the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior walked out of the match and Blackwell wins via count-out. It will be Blackwell challenging Champion of the Political Universe ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay for the belt at Loose Cannons Unleashed.

Johnny Suave: Back after these messages.

========================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

PCW RANKINGS

PCW Title Champion: The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism #1 Contender: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott Contenders ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (Les Miserables) ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson (SEC) ‘The Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan

PCW Women’s Title Champion: Yosemite Samantha #1 Contender: ‘Queen of the Trailer Park’ Lani Harlot Contenders ‘Former Hooter’s Waitress’ C.J. Lewis ‘Queen Cool’ Leah Iris Ninja Kitty

PCW Tag Team Title Champion: Island of Misfit Wrestlers: Rah and Halitosis #1 Contender: The Dork Dynasty: Leonard and Sheldon Robertson Contenders The Sports Entertainment Coalition: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams Truckin’ Average Company: Ken Worth-American Trucker and Brad Company Rough Justice: D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice

PCW Television Title Champion: Jack Fraiser #1 Contender: SNAFU Contenders Big Oil (Jill Berg Enterprises) Average Joe Ultratron-Five ‘The New Age Cybertronic Criminally Insane Rogue Sentient Robot Wrestling Machine’

========================

THE SEC SEGMENT Backstage on the special set that was built just for the Sports Entertainment Coalition by Corporate Sports(Entertainment) Programming Nation…or…CSPN, Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris interviews ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams and ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller before their big match number one contender’s match against former PCW Tag Team champions The Dork Dynasty- Leonard and Sheldon Robertson.

Also on set- ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and the SEC mouthpiece Phil Finebaum.

Anderson started off with the big question- can the SEC regain it’s prominence and win back the PCW Tag Team belts currently held by Rah and Halitosis. McMann pipes up and objects to the question. McMann then threatens to get on the phone and raise holy hell with CSPN’s CEO Mark Splitter unless the question was immediately retracted.

Anderson apologizes profusely…(because remember, in the end it’s not about journalism but it’s about partnership…koff…koff…corporate branding) and then tosses a softball question up about the match. Williams responds that this is why they hate interviews.

‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams: You’re expecting a canned response. We don’t do that. Not me. Not Dave. And certainly not Bill Dickinson. We’re here for one reason. To kick some ass.

McMann cringes a bit at the response. Finebaum flashes a thumbs up.

Miller basically repeats what Williams says when Rebecca Morris also throws him a soft question.

Then Mr. McMann has a final spin.

Mr. McMann: Tonight, a rougher and tougher Sports Entertainment Coalition lays the foundation down to return to the top. With Dan Williams and Dave Miller-

‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams: ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams.

Dastardly’ Dave Miller: ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller.

Mr. McMann: …right, with these two men and ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson on board, the SEC is positioned to bring back the gold it richly deserves.

Phil Finebaum: My faction is better than your faction and the SEC is the BEST faction in Political Championship Wrestling!

Cut back to Suave.

Johnny Suave: To the ring…

MATCH #2/TAG TEAM #1 CONTENDER’S MATCH-The Sports Entertainment Coalition (‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams) vs. The Dork Dynasty (Leonard and Sheldon Robertson) Kimber Marshall is in the ring and ready to go.

*’Party Wherever We Go (SEC Theme Song)- Robert Randolph and the Family Band*

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann appears first. He’s followed by SEC Mouthpiece Phil Finebaum, ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson, and then ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams.

‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller (Sports Entertainment Coalition) AGE: 28 / HT: 6’ 0” WT: 240 / HOME: Columbus, GA STR: 8 DEX: 7.0 CHR: 6.5 WORK: 7.4 INT: 6.8 END: 6.5 FIN: Southern Cross

‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams (Sports Entertainment Coalition) AGE: 42 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 252 / HOME: Wemberly, TX STR: 8.5 DEX: 5.5 CHR: 5.0 WORK: 8.4 INT: 6.8 END: 6.5 FIN: Devil’s Triangle (Triangle Choke)

Kimber Marshall: And their opponents…

*’Big Bang Theory Theme’- Barenaked Ladies*

Leonard and Sheldon Robertson appear. Per usual, they’re dressed in green and black camouflage and blow their duck calls as they appear on stage.

Dork Dynasty Sheldon Robertson– Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. HT: 6’ 5” WT: 190 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang death-Blast Valet: Amy Leonard Robertson– Nerdy master’s students and duck call, decoy fabricators. HT: 5’ 9” WT: 185 / HOME: Pasadena, CA FIN: Big Bang death-Blast Valet: Penny

Penny and Amy lead the way as Leonard and Sheldon walk towards the ring. Penny is dressed in heels and a black overcoat. Amy has a frumpy flowery dress on.

Johnny Suave: Well? You wanna talk about a clash of styles. The Dorks are ultra-scientific. The SEC team is not. This is going to be a fight of styles. Plain and simple.

*DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: Winner gets a title shot at Loose Cannons Unleashed against the Island of Misfit Wrestler- Rah and Halitosis!

Both teams attack at the bell. Miller flies in and makes the save for Williams when Leonard and Sheldon work together try a doubleteam suplex. Williams stuns everyone in the building when he suddenly small packages Leonard. One…two…Leonard kicks out.

Johnny Suave: Of course, as soon as I say don’t expect any scientific wrestling from the SEC, Williams displays technical expertise.

Sheldon tags in. He uses his scientific wrestling principles to frustrate Williams and ‘Dangerous’ Dan takes five. Sheldon follows which proves to be a rare mistake on his part when ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller hits him with the mic stand. Williams then whips him into the barricade. Leonard runs around the ring and blasts Williams from behind. Miller works over Sheldon.

Johnny Suave: Williams and Miller are basically street fighters. A-Bomb and H-Bomb just ooze power.

Both legal men back in. Williams continues to attack Sheldon. Finally, Williams tags in Miller who joins in and chokes Sheldon out over the ropes. Miller attacks the leg and tries to ground things. Sheldon is way too smart and escapes. He tags Leonard in and then complains bitterly to the referee about the SEC’s tactics. Miller rakes Leonard’s eyes and follows with kicks. Williams back in and grounds Leonard. Miller is prepares to jump off the ropes with Leonard lying on the mat. But Penny rushes over and pushes Miller off the top rope to the mat.

Miller scrambles to get back to his feet. Leonard spins Miller 180 around.

*WHAM*

Johnny Suave: Right hand by H-Bomb and staggers Miller!

Leonard whips Miller across the ring and bends over…Miller stops and delivers a boot to the chin.

Johnny Suave Leonard telegraphed the back body drop and Miller made him pay.

Miller rolls Leonard over…cover…one…two…NO! H-Bomb kicks out. Williams tags in for the SEC. He races across the ring and takes out Sheldon. Miller hits the high cross on Leonard. He tries to hook the legs but doesn’t succeed. One…Leonard lateral presses Miller off of him. Leonard launches Miller into the ropes. Miller reverses. Leonard goes for a sling blade but Miller counters into a cobra twist. Sheldon screams at Leonard to make the tag but he’s busy slamming Miller.   Cover…one…two…Miller gets the shoulder up.

Leonard hits another sling blade and runs the ropes. Miller ducks a lariat. He pushes Leonard towards the other side.

*WHAM*

Dickinson potatoes Leonard with a steel folding chair.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson snuck in and just walloped H-Bomb with the chair.

Williams yanks Sheldon off the ring apron and slams him into the ring post. Miller gets Leonard to his feet and stands back to back. He lifts him up and bends over, slamming Leonard to the mat.

Johnny Suave: SOUTHERN CROSS!

Miller hooks the leg. Referee in for the count. One. Two. THREE!

*DING-DING-DING*

The crowd boos in response.

WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE: The SEC (‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller and ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams) @ 9:04 (6:00 on TV)

The SEC hit the ring and celebrate.

Johnny Suave: Big win for the SEC as Miller and Williams take care of business and defeat the former PCW Tag Team champions The Dork Dynasty. They have punched their ticket to Loose Cannons Unleashed and will face Rah and Halitosis for the PCW Tag Team title.

Cut to…

SNOOPING AROUND While the action is going on outside, Nicholas Tarkowski is snooping around Dawn McGill’s office inside.

He tries to discreetly look through her ‘stuff’ without making it obvious that he’s looking through her ‘stuff.’ Tarkowski knocks a couple things off her desk. He bends down to pick them up and finds a black handbag on the floor with what appears to be pictures inside.

Curious, Tarkowski looks through said bag and lo and behind, there are pictures inside. His eyes widen (looking at the pictures) and then finds a letter. His eyes widen again (thinking about the ramifications).

He takes out his phone and snaps a bunch of pictures. Then he races from the office and finds a ‘safe place.’

Tarkowski pulls out his cell phone and dials.

Nicholas Tarkowski (excitedly): Mr. Nadler? I think I’ve got it!

========================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Brought to you by the American Patriots:

[PCW Owner Dawn McGill watches the action on a monitor in her office.]

*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

[She warily gazes at the door. She knows who’s there.]

Dawn McGill: Come in.

[It’s American Patriot Leaders Kevin McCarthy from California and Mitch McConnell from Kentucky.]

Dawn McGill: Kevin. Mitch. What a surprise.

[McCarthy and McConnell approach her desk.]

Dawn McGill: What do you have on your mind?

Kevin McCarthy: Dawn, we’re here to offer you a golden opportunity.

[Dawn knew that already but she humored the pair.]

Dawn McGill: Golden opportunity, you say?

Mitch McConnell: Yes. PCW should come home…to the Red Brand.

[Dawn sits back in her chair.]

Dawn McGill: Come home to the Red Brand.

Kevin McCarthy: That’s right. The American Patriots are the faction of Abraham Lincoln. The Red Brand is the perfect place for you to be.

Dawn McGill: I see. And where would our wrestlers start?

Mitch McConnell: Of course, your wrestlers will have to start at entry level.

Dawn McGill: Entry level?

Mitch McConnell: The pay isn’t great but it’s better than it used to be.

Kevin McCarthy: And we also have some wrestlers who are bankrolled by some of our big corporate supporters. They would have to be pushed ahead of all the newcomers.

Dawn McGill: I’ve heard that.

Mitch McConnell: Plus, there’s the whole corporate branding of the characters that would have to be done.

Dawn McGill: Well, as much as that sounds intriguing (turns facetious)…and it does…I think I’m going to pass.

Kevin McCarthy: I see, you want us to sweeten the deal.

[McCarthy makes a hand gesture that denotes ‘sweetening the deal.’ McGill’s knows what he’s doing and wonders why the hell he’s doing it.]

Kevin McCarthy: Okay, we can throw in advocating lower taxes without demanding reduced spending, laissez faire regulations that favor corporations, health care and wages that again favor big business at the expense of ordinary workers.

Mitch McConnell: Let’s not forget big business trickle down economic policies that also favor large employers and leave middle America behind.

Dawn McGill: Ahh…gotcha.

[Yeah she’s not impressed with them either.]

Dawn McGill: Guys, that’s a really bad deal.

Kevin McCarthy: Ooooh…we’ve got a negotiator here.

Dawn McGill: Um no. I’m not negotiating.

[But yet, the negotiating begins.]

Mitch McConnell: Okay…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…Miss McGill, we’ll even throw in a half assed promise to root out deep state bureaucrats and keep out activist judges who undermine legislate from the bench and thwart the will of the people…

Kevin McCarthy: …while maintaining the status quo for the Washington D.C. beltway elites to continue to prosper while middle America withers on the vine like they have for the past 25 years.

Dawn McGill: Really?

[Dawn’s eyebrows raise.]

Kevin McCarthy: That’s our final offer.

[Dawn’s cell phone rings.]

Dawn McGill: Um, no. If you’ll excuse me.

[She answers her phone.]

Dawn McGill: Hello?

[Dawn becomes alarmed.]

Dawn McGill: WHAT? (pause) I’ll be right there.

(She ends the call.)

Dawn McGill: Sorry guys…duty calls.

[Dawn sprints out of the office and slams the door behind her.]

Kevin McCarthy: Ah, the old pretend an emergency has come up and shut the door in our face trick!

========================

PCW ON THE ROAD March 30th – Taft Coliseum / Columbus, OH March 31st – Mayo Civic Center / Rochester, MN April 6th – Loose Cannons Unleashed PPV @ the D.C. Armory / Washington, D.C. April 12th – Buccaneer Arena / Urbandale, IA April 13th – McLeod Center / Cedar Rapids, IA April 14th – McElroy Auditorium / Waterloo, IA April 19th – Owensboro Sportscenter / Owensburo, KY April 20th – SIU Arena / Carbondale, IL April 21st – Gibson Arena / Rolla, MO April 27th – Berry Events Center / Marquette, MI

========================

McGILL GETS ANOTHER VISITOR Dawn returns to her office.

Nancy Pelosi: There you are.

Dawn McGill: Oh. Nancy. Yea.

Pelosi wants to chat.   Topic #1. The match earlier tonight between Charlie Blackwell and the Ultimate Social Justice Warrior. Pelosi wants to know if it was absolutely necessary to kick the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals out of the building when they attempted to intervene in the match.

Dawn McGill: Yes.

Topic #2- Yosemite Samantha. Pelosi wants to know what McGill intends on doing to crack down on Yosemite Samantha and the Hanson Sisters after they showed up uninvited on last week’s Blue Brand Political Shakedown and attacked security, backstage workers, and finally Blue Brand wrestlers with lead pipes and a lot of hockey sticks.

Dawn McGill: Nothing. What do you intend to do about this California Ninth Circuit rules bull*BLEEP* that cost Yosemite Samantha the match?

Pelosi responds there’s nothing wrong with the rules.

McGill fires back that any rules that state judges, particularly incredibly biased judges like the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, can overturn wrestling results for non-wrestling, political reasons is unacceptable in PCW and should be unacceptable in any sporting venue. The fact California is okay with it also unacceptable and is the big reason why you’ll never see PCW in California.

Pelosi then goes off on a rant about what a great and progressive state California is and people want to move there to chase the California dream.

Dawn McGill: The California dream is nothing more than a giant Ponzi scheme built on the backs of middle class citizens who can’t afford to even live there any more with the excess regulations and oppressive tax rates.

Which sets Pelosi off even more. But she moves on to Topic #3. For the 2020 CEO contest, the Progressive Alliance would like to return to the old way where their candidates would hire surrogate wrestlers to wrestle in their place. Pelosi references the match at 2008’s Extreme Election Night between then-champion Starz N. Stripes (now Kevin Scott) – representing John McCain- and challenger O’Beck Bahama- representing Barack Obama- one the greatest matches in PCW history.

Dawn McGill: No. Both sides have allowed others to fight their battles for them for too long. 2020 will be the same format as 2016.

Pelosi strenuously objects and says she’s not being reasonable.

Nancy Pelosi: These are not ‘ordinary’ people and should not be treated as such.

McGill tells her they are ‘people’ and they can be subject to the same rules everyone else is.

Dawn McGill: Just curious, what does CEO Trump think of this plan?

Pelosi’s silent.

Dawn McGill: Thought so.

Pelosi stands up and angrily leaves.

After the door slams shut, Dawn looks down at the floor.

Dawn McGill: What the-

She realizes someone’s been rummaging through her stuff.

MAIN EVENT-PCW TELEVISION TITLE: Jack Fraiser © vs. Big Oil Kimber Marshall is there and ready for the introductions.

Kimber Marshall: This match is a one fall…

Crowd: ONE FALL!

Kimber Marshall: …and is for the PCW Television Title! Introducing first…

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Pop. Big…big pop.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The crowd erupts when the video screen shows the door to a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

The door opens and eight male bodyguards walk out of the dressing room encircling a petite 95 pound woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman, dressed in a smart, dark business suit and heels, is busy talking on her cell phone.  Behind them, the rest of Jill Berg Enterprises: ‘The Japanese SuperDestroyer’ Yamamoto Tanaka, ‘Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit’ Kirk Walstreit, P.M.C. Banks, and the challenger tonight- Big Oil.

The man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

Johnny Suave (v/o): THE SELF-MADE ENTREPRENEUR FROM NEW YORK CITY’S FINANCIAL DISTRICT IS COMING TO THE RING!

A huge roar greets the procession as it emerges from the back onto the stage and starts their way down the ramp.

Johnny Suave: THE PHENOMENON KNOWN AS-

The crowd is rocking and a chant of “JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG! JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG!” fills the bar.

Two of the bodyguards use a fire extinguisher to create a fog like effect as Jill walks through. Two others hold sparklers up in the air as she passes by.

Johnny Suave: JILL BERG IS HERE!

“JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG! JILLLLLLLL-BERGGGGGG!”

Kimber finishes the introduction.

Big Oil HT: 6′ 11″ WT: 323 / HOME: Houston, TX FIN: Oklahoma Driller (modified piledriver) CHAIRWOMAN: Jill Berg HIS MGR: Texas Tex SUBGROUP: Kirk Walstreit, P.M.C. Banks, Yamamoto Tanaka

Berg leads the Jill Berg Enterprises towards the ring.

Big Oil is joined by his longtime manager Texas Tex who pushes a wheelbarrow full of cash to the ring and wears his iconic golden money belt around his waist.

Kimber Marshall: And his opponent…he is the PCW Television Champion!

The video screen comes to life:

It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.

On the hill of Irish na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.]

Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteenth century Scotland.

Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. Soon she faints and falls to the ground. When she wakes up…

Blaire nearly jumps in the air when she encounters a man dressed in heavy plaid lumberjack shirt, a warm coat, and a tuque.

Blaire Rendell: Wh-who the hell are you?   And where the hell am I?

Jack Fraiser: My name is Jack Fraiser. You are in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada.

Blaire Rendell: Saskatoon…Saskatchewan Canada? That can’t be true. I’m supposed to be in Scotland.

[A hockey puck comes flying by just barely missing both of them.]

Blaire Rendell: What the *BLEEP*!

Jack Fraiser: Nope. This is definitely Canada.

Kimber continues with the introduction.

Jack Fraiser AGE: 24 / HT: 6”3” WT: 205 / HOME: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan FIN: Canadian National Railaway VALET: ‘Oootlander’ Blaire Rendell

Fraiser and Rendell make their way to the ring.

Johnny Suave: It looks like Big Oil has something to say before the match starts.

Big Oil has the microphone and is given the requisite ‘positive’ reception…

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO!

Big Oil: SHUT UP you people are ingrates! You are nothing but freeloaders. You are not paying the correct price for gas. It should five dollars a gallon- not two dollars and fifty cents. When gas prices are low, you’re are not paying your fair share for the service that we provide. You people don’t appreciate the fact that without oil and gas to fuel your cars, your motorhomes, your lawn mower, your generators, your houses, your standard of life would stink. You know that no matter what the gas prices are, you mindless sheep are addicted to your automobiles and your toys and you’ll go out and pay no matter what. You can’t live without Big Oil.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!

Johnny Suave: Jack Fraiser has settled in to being the PCW Television champion. However Big Oil is always a threat…especially if he’s motivated. And he might be tonight.

The referee calls for the bell.

*DING-DING*

Fraiser shrugs it off and ties up with Big Oil. Big Oil uses his strength to shove Fraiser into a corner but backs off.

Johnny Suave: That was a clean break. Big Oil actually gave someone a clean break. I’m writing that down in my calendar.

‘Low Level New York Times Reporter Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder sits down and she’s completely out of breath.

Colleen Crowder: We’ve got her!   We’ve got her!

Suave wants to know what they’ve ‘got.’

Colleen Crowder: We’ve got Dawn McGill colluding with the Russians.

Johnny Suave: Impossible. Bob Mueller said no one was colluding with the Russians.

Colleen Crowder: He’s wrong. We’ve got Dawn McGill colluding with the Russians.

Johnny Suave: You’ve got Dawn McGill colluding with the Russians.

Colleen Crowder: That’s all I’ll say until this match is over. We’ve got her!

Big Oil waits for Fraiser and then they circle. Big Oil and Fraiser tie up again and jockey for position. Fraiser takes a waistlock and shifts to a facelock. Big Oil powers out and swings wildly at Fraiser and misses. They tie up again, and this time Fraiser gets a takedown. Fraiser goes for the early pin. One…Big Oil kicks out and sends Fraiser across the ring. Big Oil gets back up but Fraiser’s Oootlander Blaire Rendell slips into the ring and smacks him in the back with a steel chair.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Big Oil staggers. Fraiser small packages him…one…two…Big Oil kicks out and gets back to his feet. Then he gets tackled from behind.

Johnny Suave: THAT’S ‘REDNECK’ BILL DICKINSON! IT’S THE S-E-C!

Sports Entertainment Coalition MGR- Phil Finebaum ‘Redneck’ Bill Dickinson “The 330 Pound Southern Brawler” AGE: 37 / HT: 6′ 1″  WT: 330 / HOME: Troy, AL FIN: High Crossbody into a Powerbomb ‘Dastardly’ Dave Miller AGE: 28 / HT: 6’ 0” WT: 240 / HOME: Columbus, GA FIN: Southern Cross ‘Dangerous’ Dan Williams AGE: 42 / HT: 6’ 2” WT: 252 / HOME: Wemberly, TX FIN: Devil’s Triangle (Triangle Choke)

Dickinson mounts Big Oil and pounds him with fists.

Miller clips Tanaka’s leg and then drives Walstreit head first into the steel barricade.

Williams locks P.M.C. Banks in the Devil’s Triangle and chokes him out.

*DING-DING-DING*

WINNER VIA DQ: Big Oil @ 2:50 / Jack Fraiser retains the title.

Johnny Suave: Well? We knew ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann was waiting for the right opportunity. He got it tonight.

After the SEC obliterate Tanaka, Walstreit, Banks, and Big Oil, they turn to the Chairwoman of Jill Berg Enterprises herself. Jill raises her hands and tries to negotiate her way out of this.

Dickinson lifts Berg up and Miller lines her up back to back. Then he bends down, flips Berg over, and slams her to the mat.

Johnny Suave: SOUTHERN CROSS!

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann climbs into the ring to celebrate.

Mr. McMann: This…is only the beginning.

Cut to backstage.

BACKSTAGE Dawn McGill walks down the hall. She steps in ‘something’ and stops. She looks down and realizes she’s stepped in slime that’s on the floor.

Then it hits her.

Dawn McGill: Oh crap. Adam Schiff is here.

She whips out her phone and dials.

Dawn McGill: Corrina. I think they’ve found out about us.

*CUE DRAMATIC SOUND EFFECTS*

Cut to another area backstage.

SOMEWHERE ELSE BACKSTAGE Nicholas Tarkowski and Jerrold Nadler (NY-Progressive Alliance) are backstage and headed towards the ring.

Cut back to the ring.

THE FINAL INSULT The Guild of Low Level Reporters Trying to Trying to Make a Name for Themselves are in the ring. -‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder -‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns -‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller

Nadler and Tarkowski are booed as they join them followed by Adam Schiff (CA-Progressive Alliance) who leaves a trail of slime and ooze behind him.

Schiff gets on the microphone and calls out McGill and Romanov. The two walk out together. Dawn has the black bag that Tarkowski got into earlier in the show with her.

Schiff states he doesn’t care what Robert Mueller says, he’s found proof of Russian Collusion right here in PCW. He accuses Dawn McGill of being blackmailed by Russian referee Corrina Romanov into giving her job back and giving her a promotion.

Nadler says Tarkowski found evidence in McGill’s office of Russian Collusion. Salacious photos of McGill and a letter that references both McGill and Romanov demanding money.

CNN’s Johns nods her head and says it’s Russian Collusion all right. WashPost’s Miller also agrees. The NY Times Crowder, too.

The Guild: IT’S RUSSIAN COLLUSION!

In the Conservative Inc. section, the American Patriots/Never Trumpers/country club set (Bill Kristol. Charlie Sykes. Jonah Goldberg. David French. Tom Nichols. David Reaboi. Jennifer Rubin. David Brooks. Mitt Romney (UT-American Patriots), Rick Wilson, and S.E. Cupp think they’ve got McGill as well.

Conservative Inc.: IT’S RUSSIAN COLLUSION!

Jerry Nadler: There’s collusion all right…there’s collusion everywhere, I tell ya…everywhere!

Now the spotlight turns to McGill and Romanov.

Adam Schiff (to McGill): What do you have to say for yourself?

McGill and Romanov cast quick glances at each other. Then McGill steps forward.

Dawn McGill: it’s not Russian Collusion, you dolt. It’s…a makeover.

Adam Schiff: A what?

Dawn McGill: Both Corrina and myself got makeovers.

Jerry Nadler (sputtering): But…but…the letter?

McGill holds up the ‘letter demanding money.’

Dawn McGill: This is a ‘past due’ letter from the spa because…oops…I forgot to pay the bill on time. Oh…and it has Corrina’s name referenced on it too.

Jerry Nadler: And the compromising photos?

McGill holds up one of the photos.

Dawn McGill: And this is a photo from a recent photoshoot I had taken to celebrate the fact that I’ve lost over thirty pounds…

McGill strikes a couple poses to show off her new figure.

Dawn McGill: …and the fact I’m in the best shape of my life.

McGill grins.

…

The Guild are in a state of shock.

Colleen Crowder (stunned): Balls.

Schiff slithers out of the ring and tries to become invisible.

Nadler wants to strangle Tarkowski…but not before going full Delores Umbridge as he leaves.

Jerry Nadler: THERE WILL BE OVERSIGHT! I WILL HAVE OVERSIGHT!

Cut back to Suave.

Johnny Suave: We’ll see you next week!

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]