#quotes are slightly tweaked

[daturas-are-pretty]

BSD Fake Quotes

Chuuya: How'd you get in here?

Dazai: Oh, it was easy. I just seduced an old lady upstairs, came down the fire escape, jimmied the window open...

Chuuya:

Chuuya: You could've just

Chuuya: called me.

Dazai: I didn't kill the lady upstairs, if that's what you're worried about.

Chuuya: I wasn't. But now I am.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai: Ugh, I should've known we'd lose Chuuya. He's so pocket-sized, he could be hidden anywhere!

~~~~~~~~~~

[Everyone decked out in Kunikida's clothes to act as doppelgängers for a case specifically targeting him, unbeknownst to Kunikida.]

[It was Dazai's idea.]

Dazai: Anyone else feeling the urge to lecture themselves? (Mimicking Kunikida) "Dazai, what the hell are you doing"?

Kunikida, from behind him: Dazai, what the hell are you doing?

~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai: [After giving Atsushi advice] You can power through this because you are the strongest person I know.

… Wow, that was weird, I just said a bunch of real things consecutively. [Turns to Kunikida] Are you proud of me?

Kunikida: You're ruining it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kunikida: How'd you manage to steal the case file from government police?

Dazai: Easy. The sergeant manning the desk by the files was a lady, so I just turned up some of that old Dazai charm ~

[What actually happened:]

Dazai swaggering into the file room: Hey there. (In a low seductive voice) Some dude yarfed in the men's restroom. Could you please find somebody to, uh, clean that up?

The sergeant lady: Ugh. (Gets up from her desk)

-

Dazai: There was no yarf.

Kunikida: Yeah, I figured.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kunikida: All our contacts are dead. This case is 11 years old, I doubt anyone remembers anything. Maybe we should -

Atsushi: Climb out onto that ledge to see how the perp got in?

Kunikida: I was going to say give up.

Atsushi: I think we should give it a go! Who knows? We might uncover new leads!

Kunikida: Atsushi, we're ten stories up.

Atsushi: Kunikida-san, I'm not afraid of heights. I'm scared of bees, I'm scared of snakes, I'm scared of being locked in a supply closet for long enough that I start seeing eyes manifest in their dark corners, but I'm not scared of heights!

[Two minutes later out on the ledge]

Atsushi: WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'RE GONNA DIE WE'REGONNADIEWE'REGONNADIEWE'RE -

~~~~~~~~~~

Kunikida: Why are you of all people so hellbent on solving a case that nobody's even bothering to solve? It's been dead for years.

Dazai, for once fixated on his computer and surrounded by milk cartons and half-eaten bananas with their peels still on: Kunikida-kun, I am way too sleep-deprived to deal with your negativity right now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dazai: I stayed up all night going through the crimes that happened from 1996 up till now to look for a pattern. That led me to this.

(Chair-wheelies his way to a board with a map of Yokohama studded with push pins, all random colors)

My conclusion? There is a lot of crime in Yokohama. No-one should live here.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Ray intends to die. From what he said, he's doing it so you and I don't get killed. He didn't include himself in the numbers. He's not escaping. Ray has decided to die inside this house. He's going to set himself on fire to distract Mom in order to let us run away. That's his entire plan.

But I won't allow him to do that. Not ever.

The inclusion of these two simple frames in the anime is everything to me actually

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

rossi: anyone ever think you two were a couple?

emily: no because we screw boys like whores on tequila

jj: then we either refuse marriage proposals or run away to Paris

[ryebread-x]

Queen of the Underworld

“Upon eating the Pomegranate, the fruit of Hade’s domain ,Kore wilted away and in her place laid the decayed form of Persephone, Dread Queen of the Underworld ”

A little drawing of my interpretation of Persephone a bit of a more angsty one too

[koko-heads]

yuma: what should i get at the grocery store?

fubuki: candy bars!

desuhiko: sucked dry.

vivia: killed.

[turnupsdrawsrarely]

"This boy, twelve years old by his own account, had somehow gone farther and seen more than Buddy Parkins, and what he had seen and done had made him beautiful.

'No, I'm not a runaway, Mr Parkins,' the boy said."

*

In which I have been reading a lot of 'The Talisman,' and watching a lot of Studio Ghibli, and devided to combine the too.

[emeraldsfanfics]

The Dark Knight

♤Rise!Turtles with a Batmanlike!Girlfriend!Reader!♤ ♤Headcannons♤

♡REQUESTS OPEN♡ Request rules here

《Leo》

》He thinks you are the most badass person ever and prouder he even pulled you

》At first you scared him while he was on patrol with his brothers. And out of nowhere a bat girl swooped in from the shadows and beating up the foot clan...solo and not dying

》Thought you were a mutant at first

》Then you just started interrogating one if them by your deep voice and lift them over a skyscraper, they folded immediately

》He was terried because you were so imitating and dressed in black. Like the boogeyman, scarier because you were a women

》On another patrol, he seen you again, followed you, until you appeared out of nowhere and asked him why he was following you

》Shocked you weren't weirded out by him, you simply told him you knew what he was. And you had been doing research about mutants

》When he is dating you, he is constantly bragging about it...especially to Donnie because of your technology, intelligence and company

"Yeah? I pulled her, oh! You don't have a rich cool superhero girlfriend? Well that's too bad." *checks his nails*

》Brings you to patrol as a secret weapon/interrogator

"Where is HE?!"

"I ain't talking, this height wouldn't even kill me"

"That's what I'm counting on." *drops the guy and breaks his legs.

*leo is swooning and thinks it's hot (not in a sexual way) "I love that woman."

》INSECURE! And gets even more petty when he is jealous. He'll start doing stupid stuff to impress you. To the point you'll have to reassure him you only have eyes for him

》doesn't help your the attractive introvert type

》jokingly calls you emo and slightly concerned about how much eyeliner you use

》You spoil him so much he is constantly bragging about it 😭

"JUPITER JIM DIMOND COVERED KEYCHAIN, HOW'D YOU GET THIS BABE?!"

"Money."

》finds your moral code weird, what do you mean you wouldn't kill but you'll beat them until they need medical attention?! But encourages it

》Has your merchandise and NOT ashamed of leaving them all over the lair and his room

》Gets you anything that has to do with bats, expect bat jokes. Lots of them

》You can train with him with ease, yes, you are better at combat. And you two spar with your gadgets/weapons (you always win in 20 minutes)

》When you revealed your secret identity to him, he is more in love.

'SHES SO BEAUTIFUL?! Stay cool Leo...'

》You'll even invite them over to your mansion, and they'll find any excuse to go. Because well...you have expensive stuff and cars...

》Leo annoys the HELL out of your butler, Alfred. You know Alfred is a BADASS and close to attacking Leo

》Sometimes youll get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or other sadistic things you've seen. When Leo is there, he'll try shifting your focus on him, by watching a movie and snuggling with you.

》He secretly would've loved to meet your parents, they seemed like amazing people to you and Alfred

》Sometimes he thinks your planning gets over the top but he knows you have MAJOR trust issues

》When you are talking about detective stuff, he tries to listen but he just doesn't get it. So he's there staring at you like, "place name backstory stuff" so he loves it when you, and I quote, "talk smart"

》Steals your gadgets when you are away, you know but you let him get away with it. Even your mask at times and makes impressions of your raspy voice when in costume

"I AM VENGEANCE-"

*appearing from the shadows*"Leo what are you doing?"

"AHHH-"

》Now he has a mountain of batarangs in his room

》You have a tracker on him he doesn't know about

》Almost killed his brothers with your batmoblie

》You grounded him from kisses for a week, my boy was tweaking from just the first day

"Itsy bitsy BaTsy" *him in a corner with wide eyes going mental*

"Y/N YOU BROKE LEO AGAIN!"

》Genuinely worries when you don't sleep for days, even though you look attractive with tired eyes, he still tried to take care of you

》By getting Alfred having him help him with getting you to bed

》He always indicates any physical contact, kisses, hand holding, hugs ect.

》Loves when you suddenly save him during a battle? My boi in loveeee

》His life practically revolves around you

》Leo loves you and everything that comes with you <3

■Raph■

■Lowkey extremely terrified of you at first. You have a dark and cold demeanor AGH-stuff of nightmares

■Then, he seen you with children, you always had a soft spot for them. He probably fell in love right then and there

■He approached you like the gentlemen he is, that's when you two became friends, you admired his morals and overprotective nature. He just thought you were more cool the more he got to know you

■He confessed his feelings during a fight when you almost died this was your response:

"Please don't die on me! I-i love you"

"I knew..."

■Sometimes can't get over your deep voice when in battle, it catches him off guard

■Find your strength and workout routine intense but he would commit and do it with you. Also loves when YOU pick HIM up

■When dating he is a absolute sweetheart, a bigger one than before

■Has a batdoll merchandise plusbie he bought of you and sleeps with it every night

■And you spoil him with whatever he wants just because

"Where'd you get these rare accident ninja weapons?!"

"Money."

■Overprotective of you, yes he knows you can protect yourself AND others, but he can't help but worry about you and gives you medical attention

*you got back from a mission and take your mask off*

"Hey Babe, how was it?"

"Eh, nothing, just simply got thrown off a skyscraper, but I should be okay in an hour."

"That's nice-YOU GOT WHAT?! Let Raph take care of ya"

■Alfred absolutely adore Raph and Alfred sees Raph a son, which you find adorable

"Lady L/n, when will Raphael be arriving to the mansion once more?"

"OOH! Is Alfred gonna be there?!"

■Him and Alfred have a "Night Bat" code name for forcing you to sleep when you are up for days

■When you revealed your secret identity to him he's flabbergasted

"You're so pretty" like he's in a trance

■You two LOVE going in your gamroom and go agaist each other, yall get so competitive 😭

■We all know he is a perfect big boi, so of course he gives the best hugs and cuddles. Which you'll never admit to anyone...

■Yes, you have a tracker on him he doesn't know about, for safety

■NEVER admits it, but he finds it attractive when you suddenly save him, he gets SO RED

■Gets nervous to touch your expensive stuff, he just doesn't want to break anything :( and you assure him it's not a problem if he does, I mean, your filthy rich after all

■When you are talking about detective stuff, he gets...some of it. He's consitrating so much when you are talking about it with him but ends up tweaking

■When you wake up in a cold sweat, he has boyfriend senses and he'll comfort you for HOURS! No girlfriend of his will ever be lonely at times like this

*going through a trumamtic flashback*

*runs through your wall* "RAPH IS HERE BABY! DONT PANIC!" *has pillows and tea*

"How'd you even get past security-"

■You had to upgrade security and your walls

■Sometimes he wishes he could meet your parents, you also would like that. Kind of confirmed your parents would've loved Raph

■He loves the suit on you, yes, it looks intimating and scary, but knowing it's you in it makes it cool

■Insecure! He sees a lot of people admiring you, understandable, but still! He's just thankful your dating him and doesn't really get jealous

■Any that has to do with bats he'll get it for you this includes any eyeliner because of how much you use

■Admires your moral code, since he isn't big in killing either. But cool with torturing >:)

■THIS TURTLE LOVES PHYSICAL CONTACT GIVE IT TO HIM PLZ 🙏 because he is too shy to ask, even when dating

■He has a "I can fix her" mindset with you

■This boi will do anything for you and loves the feeling and YOU. Just you <3

◇Donnie◇

◇This boi thought you were a mutant because of your speed, agility, voice and strength. Also the bat thing I guess

◇Also the most intimidating thing he's ever cake across

◇In the most Donnie way possible, he approached you, that only resulted him getting pinned onto the wall by your surprising strength

◇he probably fell in love right then and there. AND by the fact you were human and able to take any mutant down

◇but, of course, he didn't want to show that, so you two somehow became friends after running into each other in patrols

◇also shocked when you don't freak out about...him. but you informed him you are doing a case about mutants

◇overthinked about confessing his feelings, I mean, you are hard to read when it comes to emotions, so he just went for it

◇he literally researched everything about being romantic, but like, what do you get for the girl who has everything...AN EXPERIENCE and he confessed his emotions

◇That's when you told him you knew and kissed him

◇I mean...your a detective...

◇when dating, you trusted him enough to reveal your secret identity

"By Newton, you are so stunning."

"What?"

"What?"

◇fanboying like a school girl on the inside that he is even dating you. Gets to the point when he'll forget he's dating you, then gets giddy when he remembers your his GIRLFRIEND

◇Like Leo, he BRAGS to his brothers or anyone

"That's awfully impressive, but my girlfriend does that for a warm up, not to brag."

◇doesn't admit but but WAS jealous of your intelligence and cool gadgets you invented

◇Has a batdoll of you he sleeps with every night and will never admit it

◇when you invited him to your mansion, he's shocked about how rich you are, like "ho, is you rich?"

◇should have known by the expensive clothes you wear 💀

◇YOU SPOIL HIM ROTTEN MY BOY HOOKED UP

"How'd you get this Atomic Lass limited edition golden 24k gold and Dimond figurine from 1982?!"

"Money."

◇absolutely encourages the amount of eye liner you use, he thinks it brings a little ✨️dazzle✨️ to your look

◇unintentionally ANNOYS THE HELL out of Alfred, my bristish man done

◇You are his secret weapon for mutants or interrogating anyone

"I'M going to get a cup of coffee" *leaves*

"Good luck with that" *cocky chuckle*

*appears from the shadows and throws a mutant 5x their size across the room* "WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!"

*SCREEECH*

"Oh she is so remarkable" *bro in love*

◇Always has to call a mystic medic when you fight a mutant

"I'm calling a mystic medic" *sees you beat their ass* "that's my girlfriend."

◇Embraces the violence you bring to the table

◇LOVES and HATES your moral code, he loves that you unintentionally beat criminals senseless. Hates that you won't end their lives, Lame.

◇Thinks you are the most badass person he's ever met

◇loves when you are telling him about detective stuff, he is genuinely interested in learning this field about science

◇Sometimes he is worried about you when you come here extremely injured, there was a time when you came back with a bullet in your arms. So, he insisted he nurse you back to health

◇there are times when you wake up from a traumatic flashbacks about missions or your parents, he gave S.H.E.L.D.O.N a "cry cry" protocol. It's just him giving you a plushie of himself saying, "please don't cry beautiful" until Donnie actually gets there

◇You are S.H.E.L.D.O.N's mother

◇makes any excuse to come over, totally not for your cool technology and gadgets...no

◇Donnie is extremely insecure when it comes to you. You're attractive, smart, rich and talented. Doesn't help your the attractive introvert type. And there are a lot of human guys out there he sees trying to get close to you

"Scoff! He's not even as smart as me! He's not even as buff as me!"

◇hates he can't do anything about it, he would love to torture them >:)

◇Please reassure him and compliment him 😭

◇There was a time he was kidnapped, you came and defeated 100 mutants easily, you just came home carrying him bridal style, he was so ashamed you had to save him but thankful, more than thankful

*looks at you with puppy eyes* "I love you."

◇Would sometimes steal your gadgets to give them the "Don upgrade" that would typically mean he would make them more lethal

◇Has stolen your batmobile more than ten times, you'll hear his manic laugh in the streets

◇You both don't sleep for days, so either Alfred or Raph would force you two to sleep

◇Donnie thinks your workouts/even warms ups are too intense

◇You both spar a lot, which results in an hour long battle

◇Donnie would give you and invent you anything that has to do with bats or can help you with gadgets

◇Donnie initiates physical contact believe it or not. Sometimes he'll get touch starved with you. Preferring hand kisses and forehead kisses.

◇This boi cherishes and very proud of you, he just loves you so much <3

☆Mikey☆

☆When he saw you, he immediately thought you were so cool! Mutant or human, he wanted to know you

☆He decided to approach you, not seeing him as much of a threat, you replied, that was the start of a beautiful relationship

☆Mikey is very emotionally intelligent, so he immediately recognize his feelings for you

☆Not panicking, he simply was upfront with you while being his adorable self

☆He was kind of flabbergasted when you told him you knew...

"H-how did you know...?"

"I'm a detective." *kisses him*

☆When dating you only seen that Mikey is an adorable agent of chaos, but hey, you are too

☆Absolutely loves the amount of eyeliner you put on! He'll even ask for you to put some on him

☆CRAFT DATES! You two cherish those dates, you do it in your art room in the mansion, which is Mikey's favorite room in the mansion

☆When you revealed your secret identity, he immediately fanboyed

"AW! You're so cute!" *grabs your face and has cuteness aggression*

☆You two are the definition of black cat and golden retriever

☆Never gets jealous! He knows you are a catch but he knows you won't let anything go between you two

☆Conflicted by your moral code, he is not for violence. But glad to do so >:)

☆You spoil him rotten and he is always so touched 🥲

"I can't accept this."

"Why?"

"Because it's just-too Beautiful"

"So?"

"This was 1.2 million dollars Beautiful."

"I got it for cheap I know"

*confused Mikey*

☆Him and Alfred get along so well, even helps in the kitchen. At this point Alfred looks foward to seeing Mikey over you

☆This turtle is VERY CLINGLY! He'll attack you with hugs and kisses randomly, like you, he'll hide in the shadows

☆doesn't mind PDA

☆He will be in cloud 9 when you save him from the foot clan or anything! Just hundreds of knocked out mutants on the floor and he's admiring you like a lovesick puppy

☆Very much like Leo, whenever you are talking about detective stuff, he'll be like, "place name, backstory stuff"

☆Love's your gadgets! He'll mess around with them and loves your flamethrower for some reason...

☆Anything that has to do with bats will make him giddy just thinking about you

☆Whenever you get trumamtic flashbacks of the night your parents were murdered or any missions you were apart of, he'll cook you something amazing or bake, whatever you want!

☆Dr.Delicate Touch comes out whenever you're in danger

☆He bites you....that's it

☆Hates when you don't sleep, he won't drag you out to bed..BUT he'll snuggle onto your lap until you sleep

☆Love's you with tired eyes or not, you are perfection to him

☆However, he has "I can fix her" mindset, with you

☆You two LOVE sparing, sure, he hates even potentially hurting you, but you always remind him you will be perfectly fine

☆He has cuteness aggression towards you, you really don't know why

☆He has stolen your batmoblie with his brothers, happens once a week

☆You will randomly surprise him when he thinks he's alone

*dancing* "YoU MuST bE wHoO HeRmes MenTIONeD-"

*appears from the darkness*"Hello Michelangelo."

*EEEEEH*

☆Forget bad cop good cop, try the psychotic cops

"TELL ME WHERE IT IS!"

"BREAK HIS KNEECAPS-"

"YEAH!"

☆He has a think for breaking people's kneecaps?

☆This adorable psychotic turtle loves you and knows your perfect <3

[cilliansmesoftly]

sore

joe rantz x reader

summary: what’s a girl to do when her man comes in groaning in pain besides give him a much needed massage?

warnings: joe being a lil shit, reader providing everything he needs, implied smut, massage, whimpering

ੈ✩‧₊˚ y/n was completely zoned into her homework, she had a huge final coming up and she refused to give into any distractions.

until..

“damn it.” she heard joe groan out, trying to lower himself onto her bed.

“what is it?” she asked, not even turning around. she continued to furiously scribble onto her paper, mapping out equations for her engineering class.

“rowing.” he said through gritted teeth as he leaned down to untie his shoes. “shit’s gonna end up killing me.”

a beat of silence went through the room, only joe’s heavy breathing and the sound of pen writing on paper.

“baby, can you help me?” joe hated to bother her, but every time he tried to lean down to untie the other lace of his shoe, he felt a shooting pain go from the lower part of his back all the way up to his neck.

“yes, one second.” she answered absentmindedly, her tongue was slightly poked out of her lips in concentration and joe would’ve awed in adoration if every muscle in his body weren’t cramping.

“baby.”

“coming.” she said, but made no move to get up. so, joe, not without difficulty, stood to his feet and bent down to look over her shoulder. her paper was absolutely covered in writing. notes were in the margins, quotes and equations that she thought important were underlined or had a cute star next to it.

y/n could feel his breath on her neck and she subconsciously leaned into his presence.

“you need to take a break.” he said into the side of her neck, kissing the skin sweetly. she giggled at the feeling and sighed, turning around in her desk chair to face him. he looked tired. his hair was disheveled, the bags under his eyes were heavy, but she thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. she leaned up to catch his lips in a kiss. “come lay with me.”

joe grabbed her hand and brought her to her feet, watching her plop onto the bed with a sigh. he took a much slower approach, trying to squat into a sitting position on the side of the bed. his groans were loud and y/n was sure the other girls in her building would suspect they were doing something more than just laying down together.

“here, let me help.” she sat up, swinging her legs onto the floor and walking to his side. she kneeled down, untying the laces of his worn out boots and pulling them off his feet. “lay on your belly, if you can.”

“what are you doing?” he asked, clenching his eyes shut when his muscle tweaked as he laid on his stomach. he felt her climb over his sore body and straddle him, sitting on the back of his thighs.

“i’m gonna give you a massage.” she said matter-of-fact. joe couldn’t help but smile in excitement, god, he needs one.

“do i need to take my clothes off?” she could hear the smirk in his voice, but she just rolled her eyes with a smile.

“just your shirt, rantz.” she pushed the back of his head playfully and watched as he grabbed the back of his crewneck over his head, tossing it to the floor. at first, she just scratched his back. he always loved when she did that. whenever they would sleep together, she would always run her nails through his hair, which would end in him asking her if she’ll scratch his back.

“feels so good, baby.” his deep voice grumbled into the mattress. she hummed, rubbing her hands harder to try and relax the taut muscles of his back. his shoulders were broad, and him being on the rowing team was just adding onto the bulk there.

when she hit a particularly sore spot, joe whimpered into the mattress. y/n hated herself for enjoying the sounds he was making, her legs involuntarily clenching around his. joe could feel her action, to her dismay, but not to her knowledge. he knew she liked when he was more vocal in bed, it spurred her on like nothing else to know that he was feeling so good, just from her.

so he did it again.

and again.

y/n worked her hands against his skin, working the tops of his shoulders since that seemed to be where he was hurting the most. every time the heel of her hand dug into the muscle, he would let out a groan, whine, whimper, or praise. she was practically soaked by now.

“are you doing that on purpose?” she halted her hands and leaned down to his head to hear his answer.

“doing what?” the smug bastard knew was this was doing to y/n.

“you are!” she stood up from the bed with tinted cheeks.

“aw, cmon, baby!” he sat up, sitting on his knees in her dorm bed. it was funny, really, how small her bed looked compared to him. they could barely fit on it together, but they liked being close anyways.

“no, you’ve made me mad.” she turned her back to him and looked out of the window. she wasn’t really mad. embarrassed? perhaps. but she just wanted to see how well he would apologize.

“seriously? i- okay.” he stood from the bed, taking into account how good his back felt now. he circled his arms around her waist, tucking his face into the crook of her neck. “i’m sorry.” she stood her ground, though it was hard to hide just how much she loved his body being this close to hers. “y/n…” she didn’t move an inch, so joe braced his hands and spun her around to face him. so quickly, in fact, that she lost her footing and fell into joe’s strong chest. she looked up at him with a smile and blush rising from her neck to the tips of her ears.

“i’m not mad.” she giggled. “but i would like a better apology.”

“but i wasn’t doing anything.” he was slowly leaning down, hoping to get a kiss, but she brought her fingers up to his puckered lips.

“first, you get me all flustered and embarrassed and then you make me trip onto you! joe rantz, i’ll need flowers, and chocolate, and a homemade card-” her sarcastic rant is cut off when he pulls her hand away from his mouth and entraps her lips with his.

“hush, and lay down. i’ll show you how sorry i am.”

[genderqueerdykes]

the post you just shared about being both a trans man and a dyke reminded me of something that ive been wanting to talk about for a while now but haven't been able to so far.

im brazilian. the country with one of the biggest pride parades in the world while also being in the highest rates of violence towards lgbt people. queer culture here is weird, and maybe i missed out on it because i was able to find refuge online among the english speaking community relatively early.

ive been observing something that i wrongly assumed was our own version of the butch/femme community, and for a second i got really excited bc we all know butch loneliness, but the more i started looking into it, the more of its completely rotten entrails they showed me.

it's a disfigurement of the ideas that i have held to my heart so dearly ever since i read stone butch blues for the first time, and even more as i discovered leslie feinberg, and found out that there really were others like me. they use the term "desfem" (as in "defeminized"), and the definition explicitly states that the individual must be a cis woman, quoting some terf-tier bullshit that would make joanne proud.

hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles. they want the aesthetics of butchness without the hardships of living as one. the trans community carries these people on their backs and still they're more worried about how some dykes are trans too.

i don't know where im going with this, i just need to get it off my chest to someone who would at least have an idea of what im talking about. it's so disheartening to see the community head towards this direction, and i grow less and less interested in forming bridges with cis people as time goes on lol

i wanted to thank you for taking the time to send it, i really appreciate these thoughts! i get contacted by a lot of brazilian people. i think that's super cool! i've heard that despite how large your queer scene is that it's still very queerphobic and that's unfortunate, but it does happen.

"hating men is their entire personality, and it's so shallow and based on cishet gender roles that there is no "femme" counterpart, because they see no way to perform femininity outside of patriarchal roles."

i really appreciate the way you said this! i've been trying to point this out for a while now and i'm glad you've come to this realization, yourself.

for whatever reason, cis lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces are obsessed with the butch-femme binary. it's romanced to hell and back but it's very restrictive and patriarchal. implying that romantic relationships must fall into a masculine partner + feminine partner structure is cisheteromative. there's not much representation for butch4butch, butch4all, femme4femme and femme4all people. the idea that the masculine partner must be strong and protect the weak feminine partner that can't defend themselves is a patriarchal dynamic.

all of the lesbian yearning posts are about how butches are tops and doms and how all femmes are bottoms and subs. butch becomes synonymous with penis and femme becomes synonymous with vagina. calling butches 'chivalrous knights' dehumanizes them and reduces them to being protector figures. the way cis femmes online go on and on and on about how they "need" a butch is very alarming. femmes are being framed as dependent and as though they can't function unless they have a butch in their life, which is very misogynistic.

it's just a repeat of cishet- the patriarchal relationship formatting applies here, even if the genders are slightly tweaked. it's in the coding. it's literally a copy and paste job. it's lazy and toxic as hell and it leaves out all of the diversity that comes with lesbianism and how butches and femmes can experience life and love and sexuality in a variety of ways.

the thing is, as a genderqueer person, i've never understood why people are so attached to this binary. it's so restrictive. i'm butch, but not in the way that white cis lesbians define it. the way they tlel you how to be butch is so restrictive it's not even funny. it's like you gotta pass a test. you gotta be stereotypically masculine 100% of the time or else you're not a real butch. you're expected to emulate a cishet guy, but if you identify as a guy, all hell breaks loose. if you think about it people basically force butches to identify as men and then hold it at arm's reach away. like you have to act exactly like a man but be a Woman. and it makes no fucking sense.

lesbians are some of the most gender diverse people out there. it's crazy to me that people are trying to force lesbians, people who are known for being gender weird, into a male-female cishet binary but with a lesbian Womyn coat of paint. i wish you better luck in finding community that wants to stick together instead of fight over petty bullshit that doesn't matter. take care of yourself. feel free to stop by again any time

[truelovepolinator]

The Chaos of the "Friends to Lovers" Quote & the Alleged Antonia Xmas Photos

I honestly have so many thoughts about Nicola and Luke that I usually don't even know where to start. As a result, I often end up saying nothing. Other folks are already talking about things so eloquently, and even when I don't entirely agree, I agree enough that I like it, move on, and wonder whether it's worth chiming in with my takes.

But today I do feel like tackling yesterday's craziness - the newly discovered article (and those hot photos) and the weirdness that erupted with the alleged family photo(s?) with Antonia.

This was a lot of chaos and excitement for one day and I found myself drowning a bit in the swell of it all.

Part of me was as thrilled as everyone to read those words that Luke said about friends to lovers, and also what Nic said about Luke making everything better. This story seemed to just confirm and crystallize everything I ever thought, that all of us true believers have thought. He said it. He said it right out loud.

But then there was the part of me that couldn't help but question it. Was it taken slightly out of a context that might have softened the meaning had it been included? Had the translation from English (Luke's original words) to Spanish back to English slightly tweaked the thought or expression of the thought in a way that implied slightly more than he originally intended?

Also, why would he/they just admit everything fully out in the open for this one random interview with a Chilean reporter, then retreat and go back to pretending to be just friends everywhere else (even if they never said "just" friends).

Then again, a point both for and against the accuracy of the implication of this quote is the fact that he came very close to saying this several other times. About how appropriate it felt that Polin was friends to lovers that they were friends... and he'd just sort of trail off or not quite continue the thought. So that seemed to make it both more probable that he might have inadvertently finished the thought one time, and also less probable that he would have said it so explicitly this one time when he never did any other time. Could the original translation have taken liberties in finishing the thought?

Bottom line, who knows? And I found myself wondering WHY I was wondering when, at the end of the day, I still totally believe they're together. So why question this quote so hard?

Perhaps there's just something inherently dangerous about allowing myself to believe they (even inadvertently) confirmed it. I already believe. I really do. So why does the thought of him having actually said it out loud feel so chaotic? Why was everyone whipped into a frenzy by this line when we could already see it? And why is this story just now making its way into our collective consciousness?

There's so much about this ship that doesn't make a lot of sense. I've had a few fictional ships I've loved, but I have never felt this much attachment to a celebrity couple before. Not even close. I'm sure I never will again. They are so special, and their connection is so unusual and obvious that it's hypnotic and magical. It feels like a privilege to witness such a magical and precious thing.

But perhaps it is precisely because their connection feels so magical and precious that it feels more elusive. For Luke to explicitly confirm what we all saw feels like very nearly stepping onto the solid ground of a previously misty, distant shore. But then, they took it back with every subsequent (and prior) interview, leaving us wobbly and unmoored.

And then the rumor of the Christmas photos with Antonia hit. I never saw these photos and only heard everything after the fact, so it's hard for me to draw conclusions. It sounds like the photos were inappropriately taken from a memorial page and not new, so not only were they disrespectful, but potentially also not remotely relevant to Luke's current relationship and life.

And even if she was with his family last year, there seem to be at least half a dozen explanations for that (just a friend or casual date with nowhere to go? Friend of his sister's? there at Christmas time, but for a different occasion and not actually "Christmas with the Newtons").

I also found myself confused by people insisting she was in the Maldives for work while others insisted she and her father were in a trailer somewhere? So which is it? Trailer Christmas with dad? Or dance gig in the Maldives? And perhaps most importantly, why does anyone know any of this because why is anyone following her, let alone her father, this closely?

I confess all of this chaos did drive me to check her stories and I saw the (apparently) Maldives videos. But I don't know what any of this proves.

I wrote extensively about my belief that Nic and Luke are together (see my blog: Nicola and Luke Are Absolutely Together and Have Been All Along and Here's How I Know), and that the relationship with Antonia has been a fake PR strategy to distract us all along. But I'd be lying if I said these little flare-ups don't make me wobble slightly in that boat as I continue trying to set foot on dry land. I don't feel like I know enough about how L & A met, how/if she's friends with his sister, what the deal is with that friend group, etc. And all those questions leave a tiny space for uncertainty.

Still, what's with the timing of that photo? The same day this story spreads like wildfire where Luke says OUT LOUD the very thing we've been wanting to hear and they've been trying to distract from? Seems to me a good PR agent who was paid to keep eyes off the real relationship might identify that as a moment to drop some confusing content and muddy the waters again. Don't want folks getting too close to the truth, after all.

The truth is, none of us can know the truth definitively because we don't know them. But again and again, when I look at the actual facts and the extensive evidence and crumbs, the only crumbs that fit together into a whole that makes sense are the Nic and Luke crumbs.

For the record, I have not a doubt in my mind that Nicola is *not* dating Jake. That one is crystal clear because after allowing some uncertainty to linger (part of the distraction strategy), they have all collectively shown us the truth.

Remember, Nicola has NEVER shared her love life publicly. All these photos with Jake are actually proof of a negative, that he is NOT her bf. Thinking that her photos with him are proof of their romantic relationship represents a fundamental lack of understanding of who Nicola is, let alone Jake and their shared friend group.

I do believe that she and Luke will go public eventually for two reasons. The least of these is for the fans. The fans want it so bad that one day they will relent and show us. But the more important reason is that when you find the one, and you love them with all your heart, you don't want to hide it forever. Live privately, yes, but not hide. When they feel settled and confident enough, and perhaps when the glare of the spotlight has died down enough, they will finally share. That's what I believe.

Could I be wrong? Of course. Could this hypothetical relationship with Antonia be real? I suppose. But if it is, it's the weirdest damn thing I ever saw. I will never get over the strangeness of the InStyle LA photos, and in particular, that one at the cafe with the white truck. There's something just inherently fake and fishy about the way their hypothetical relationship manifests. And since their pap photos, implied togetherness photos, and weird "likes" patterns all follow a classic PR fake relationship playbook, I have a hard time believing it.

Also, I feel much better about him with Nic than with Antonia, for a variety of reasons I won't go into because I don't want to spread hate.

If I am wrong, I will be heartbroken. I admit it. I believe in NicLuke. Lukola is my endgame. And I don't just think “someday.” I absolutely believe it's happening now. I made my case extensively in my prior blog. People seem to want to read the signs a million different ways, but all the signs I've seen point directly to Nicola and Luke being together now. So that's where I'm sticking.

Let the ship wobble. I'm not going anywhere.

[artbyblastweave]

Herofy Teacher.

I think you and I might have talked at least once about the idea that Teacher is supposed to be a riff on Hugo Strange, but let me float something else. I was recently reading up on the lore of the original Ultimate Marvel universe in order to make sure I wasn't talking out my ass with that recent spate of Ultimate Marvel Posting, and you know whose character bio started ringing a hell of a lot of Teacher alarm bells? Professor X, who, in the Ultimate Marvel continuity, was a through-and-through manipulative son-of-a-bitch, subtly mentally adjusting the X-men as needed in order to keep them a cohesive unit; cavalierly brainwashing, mindreading, mindwiping and personality rewriting in the name of the quote-unquote greater good. A real piece of work!

And with that in mind, you can sort of see a shadier Protectorate department taking a slightly differently aligned Teacher on as their unofficial internal ombudsman; using his power manipulation and personality sanding in a "pro-social" manner to reign in and smooth over internal conflicts, tweaking untoward or regrettable personality traits. This is a version of Teacher whose ambition isn't so much absent as it is differently directed- he doesn't want to build, he wants to garden. He wants access to and influence over as many parahumans as possible, not for the sake of some grand personal project, but for the sake of the PRT's project- sanding down the rough edges of parahuman integration, making everything and everyone operate as smoothly as possible. He's not going to do anything untoward with this influence, of course. Why would he? All he wants is for everyone to get along and be their best selves (as defined by HR and the marketing department.)

[glitchaxolol]

So in regards to my previous post, here’s the full interaction I had with the wonderful MJF on Saturday July 27, 2024:

It started out as a normal heel interaction aggressively saying “What do you want?”, I handed him the figure to sign and got out the 6 drawings I did(my hands were shaking so badly, I was so nervous and excited).

When I handed MJF the drawings, I said “You can keep them or do whatever you want with them.”, he looked through them all, he definitely looked surprised and impressed, read all the quotes, he said “You- you want me to keep them?” And obviously I said “yeah, I just want you to have them.”. He actually stuttered. Ik y’all were expecting an embarrassed stutter but I think it was more of a surprised or happy stutter!

He then signed the figure and said “I signed it special with my left hand.” And I looked for some signings later, every video I can find, he uses his right hand so he wasn’t kidding. He grabbed the black and white drawing I did to use for the picture, he said “I like this one.” and held that one up, as I was grabbing my figure he said “Your art is bad, don’t quit your day job.”. I was expecting him to rip them or ball them up but he actually kept them!

And I was looking at the picture later, I showed it to my mom and I thought I was tweaking but she saw it too. I showed my dad too and he saw it. The corners of his mouth were slightly upturned, as if he was trying not to smile.😭🫶

I also found out that just 4.5 hours prior, at 11 am, someone brought 4 figures and got up in his face because he wouldn’t sign them all(bc of reselling). He disappeared til about 3:30(when I got my stuff signed)(likely to cool down) and I was about 5-6 people down the line. When I brought the 6 drawings out, he might’ve thought I wanted him to sign them all until I said what I said. In other words, he was likely surprised I actually wanted to give him the art rather than make him sign them all!🫶

Here’s the drawings btw!

[cosmichymns]

Strike One

It’s hot in DC. Rossi has a pool. Emily has a red two piece swimsuit you’re dying to see her in. You push her until… “strike one”. What will happen if she gets to three?

On AO3

“Em, please?”, you whined, becoming more desperate.

You watched her shake her head in front of the full length mirror in your shared walk in closet, like she had done a twice within the past two minutes. You sat on your bed and bounced your foot. You had been ready 10 minutes ago but Emily was purposefully stalling, you thought, and therefore encouraging your bratty behavior.

“Emilyyyy…”

She stood firm as her eyes met yours via the mirror. She had yet to turn around and face you.

“I said no. And if you keep whining…” Emily let the threat linger in the air for a moment as she eyed the dress against the far wall then looked back at you.

You visibly shivered. You knew what that meant. You had been trying so hard to be good for her. But you really, really wanted this. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you let out a melodramatic sigh.

Standing up quietly, your feet met the cool wooden floor then the carpet of your closet. Rounding on her, you placed your hands possessively on her waist and leaned your chin on her shoulder. “But I want them to look at you… to look at you and know that you’re mine”, you husked into the shell of her ear.

“They know we know they know”, Emily reasoned as threw her hair up into a rare messy bun and chuckling at the ability to tweak a famous Friends quote.

You kissed along her neck, a few stray grey hairs tickling your nose. She tried not to sigh but failed. You opened your mouth and softly, gently took the muscle that connected her neck and shoulder between your teeth. You knew better than to bite down and leave a mark when she was expected somewhere, especially with this heat. The cover up would be torture. You heard her breathe in sharply through her nose as her eyes fluttered closed. So rarely did she let you take charge like this. It was intoxicating. You pressed your luck and applied just a bit more pressure to the muscle between your teeth.

“Y/n…” Emily groaned out in a warning tone. Despite her words, you felt her roll her head to the side ever slightly.

Her skin was sticky and not just from your breath. Yet another heat wave decided to descend onto the DC metro area and despite the AC cranked up full blast, the inside of your shared apartment was humid. Dense. Stifling almost.

Thankfully, Rossi had no problem throwing out pool invitations like confetti. That’s where the two of you, and the rest of the unit, were headed on this rare afternoon off.

“But the red two piece on you is… stunning. Mesmerizing. Stroke inducing!” The whine creeped back into your voice as your eyes watched her half lidded ones for a moment, dropped to her lips, then over to the ruby two piece swimsuit that lay neglected on her bureau.

“No one needs to have a stroke over me,” she laughed out, turning gently in your embrace and rested her arms on your shoulders. “Strike one.”

You gulped audibly as she whispered the last bit into your lips as she smiled devilishly. Despite what she always said while it was happening, you had a sneaking suspicion that Emily really did enjoy when you misbehaved because she loved welding the punishment.

“Fine.” It came out brattier than you’d planned and Emily quirked a grey eyebrow. You bit your lip and shook your head slightly, almost apologetically. “Are we ready to go?”

Emily threaded her hand through your hair before she grasped at hair at the nape of your neck suggestively. Your head instinctively allowed her to pull you where she wanted you without a fight. Her other hand traced along the sharp line of your jaw before placing a few kisses there.

“Only if you’re finished acting like a brat…” Her words rumble out low and deep.

You can’t help but unconsciously whine one last time.

—— should I do a part two?——

[flowersforzoe11]

Alex Rider S1E7 Episode notes

Just had the most hideous combo of back2baack travel weekends, midterms, and canvassing for the upcoming election (reminder to any Americans of age to go vote--it's what Jack Starbright would want<3), so i have not had a single second to think about this show for the past like 3 weeks. HOWEVER my life is slightly less chaotic now and i'm ready for ep7. without further ado...

-WHAT DEATH SCENE FAKEOUT ALEX YOU GENIUS (i was gonna say, i didn't think his injuries were *that* serious in the book but goddamnit what a reveal. the past few episodes are such a love letter to this show)

-sorry i'm literally still in shock that was genius

-okay i haven't read this book in probably 5 or 6 years, but i feel like Alex returning to Point Blanc was way less consentual. i will say my major gripe with this show is that they're downplaying the evil that MI6 was, especially in the beginning (esp. the show's "no signal" vs book Blunt actively ignoring the signal)

-okay! fine! i like this Smithers (the tweak the chromosomes lines is such a funny cop-out line but i will ignore the science and accept it)

-alex yelling at Jones/K unit is the definition of AURA. god i love "defending those he loves" Alex

-and tulip can keep Kyra's name out of her mouth

-scream it for those in the back. MICHAEL ROSCOE WOULD NEVER QUOTE HITLER

-the motorbikes line was soooo Ella Cornell coded it's crazy (read I Spy i dare you)

-ahhHHHHHH CUB (this is such a good inclusion of K unit)

-Otto Farrant was so good during the k unit sniper scene. real loss of innocence moment for tv Alex and i could see it in his face. love love love (also that was just such a good scene in general. absolutely clincial. if i ever go to war, i'm taking all of k unit with me)

-the dr Greif x stellenbosch dynamic is so deliciously fucked up

-"we need greif alive" if i don't get my helicopter murder and shitty pun i RIOT

-CLONE KYRA IS CRAZY I AM GAGGED

-also for the record i'd be pissed if i was Wolf. just had to air the place out with very little back up and Alex just disappears despite having exactly one job (to not disappear)

-if there's one thing about Alex, it's that he gets his shit rocked often

-i love Alex's semi-working knowledge of science (especially because it only seems to exist when things are about to explode). also, as someone who graduated with a STEM degree, the lab fight scene was awesome. when will it be my turn to throw flasks at my enemies...

-well the project gemini information certianly was destroyed !

-the kids seeing their clones scene was absolutely bone-chilling

-okay i'm gonna say it. i feel like tv Alex is a silghtly nerfed version of book Alex. i feel like his role was a lot more important than "tag along and almost get himself killed"

-WOLF BEING SO NICE TO ALEX??? I'LL CRY REAL TEARS I LOVE THEM

-NO HELICOPTER SCENE AND BAD PUN???????? GET YOUR PITCHFORKS BC WE RIDE AT DAWN

-alex you poor shell of a boy you deserve the world (HOWEVER tv point blanc was maybe only 1/2 as traumatic as book point blanc. someone def toned AHorz down)

-god scorpia has their greasy little hands in everything

-JULIUS

[koko-heads]

calle: why are you on my bed covered in oil?

lorenzo: you know how you always say i never glisten?

calle: listen. you never listen.

[ironmandeficiency]

sending memes

pairing: legolas / modern!reader

word count: 2153

summary: it was remarkably easy to fall in love with the elven prince. unfortunately, it was somewhat harder to actually convey said feelings. that’s when you decide to use memes

req: can i have legolas x reader with "sender quotes a poem that reminds them of receiver"? -@micheleamidalajedi

a/n: leave it to me to turn soft romance prompts into bullshit 😂i had to tweak it just a smidge but i think it's fine. mistor is gn sindarin for strayer/wanderer, aluon is gn sindarin for wholesome, & meril means artist or poet in woodelven sindarin

in the beginning, the elves had no idea what to do with you. you were far too brash and loud for court and had very little formal training in just about anything useful. your clothes were strange and there were dozens of words in your vernacular they didn’t understand, and several of your mannerisms threw the elves of the greenwood into tizzies.

your consensus was that they tolerated you simply because you knew things you shouldn’t, like the events of the first age and personal details about king thranduil that never saw the light of day.

some elves surprisingly enjoyed your presence very early on and jumped on the opportunity to learn about where you came from. of this number was legolas, a very adept learner who was easy on the eyes (and your heart, but that’s neither here nor there).

you’ve been in middle earth for a few years now, having jumped on the chance to stay and never return to a world slowly deteriorating. once you told the elves about various tragedies that had struck your earth in the past hundred years alone, even thranduil was terrified at the prospect of sending you back.

so now you were somewhat fluent in sindarin and best friends with a prince; oh, how the turntables.

“mistor!” your elvish name was cheerfully shouted across the training arena. “watch this!” aluon’s voice was immediately recognized and it brought a smile to your face. he had been one of your very first friends in middle earth and despite his youth (for an elf), was placed on your royal guard for if you ever ventured beyond the greenwood. he was what you would call a cinnamon roll.

“okay, i’m watching!”

aluon was currently practicing with his throwing knives, his bow resting against the side of a training dummy. for all the praise a bow and arrow got from elves, he preferred his knives just a bit more.

he threw one last look over his shoulder to make sure you were indeed watching him before throwing the blade in his hand with a resounding “YEET!”

the knife landed directly in the bullseye because of course it did.

you could barely congratulate him on his aim and joke execution for your cackling, arms holding your stomach as if your body were truly coming undone. his laughter joined yours soon after, the two of you leaning on each other while trying (and failing) to catch your breath.

-

legolas has known you long enough to know that where boisterous laughter is heard, you’re likely the culprit. this is why his footsteps guided him to the training arena in the royal wing, the one reserved for himself, his father, and their most trusted friends and guards.

to his non-surprise, you and aluon were wheezing on the ground at some unknown joke. he approached you both with a smile of his own, sturdy hands helping you to your feet. “mellon nin, what lightens you so?”

“aluon was throwing knives and went ‘YEET!’ and he hit the center of the target!” the cackling returned with renewed strength as you mimicked the motion and raucous screech of the four letter word.

ah, the practice of yeeting. you explained the word to him very early into your presence here and he found himself using the term on the odd occasion, much to your delight.

but legolas, as polite and regal as he was, felt the embers of friendly competition light in his chest. it wasn’t about the aim of aluon’s throws, as logical but slightly unfounded as that claim would have been.

it was truly about your laughter. he wanted to be the reason you lit up with such mirth, he wanted to be responsible for the joy in your eyes.

with all the princely decorum he could muster, he armed himself with his bow, notched an arrow, and let it fly directly into the wooden handle of aluon’s blade.

then, with a straight face, he dabbed.

-

tauriel was a hard elf to get ahold of. as captain of the guard, she was always busy, flitting about while completing all sorts of duties.

but finally, two weeks after legolas made a show of dabbing in the training arena, you found her in a rare moment of rest. you knocked on the door to her rooms and when she opened it, you walked right inside and plopped yourself on the nearest chair.

“ugh tauriel! finally, i’ve been trying to talk to you for ages!”

she smiles warmly, always having been one to enjoy the mannerisms that made you so intensely human. “it’s good to see you too, mellon nin,” her chuckle is soft and sincere. “what do you need?”

you sighed, snatching a throw pillow from the chaise you were on and reclining back in a way reminiscent of a therapist’s office. “i need advice about legolas.”

her smile turned to a knowing smirk. “ah, so you finally see what the entire kingdom already knows.”

“what do you mean ‘the entire kingdom knows’? what do they know?!”

“ah, i see i was mistaken.”

your resulting floundering was amusing to the redhead.

“i’m serious tauriel, i need your help!” you thought it useless to play coy and being vague would get you nowhere, so you told her exactly what you needed to know. “i need to know how to go about asking him on a date, or whatever it is that elves do when they’re interested in someone.”

“well,” she began, “if i know him as well as i think i do, he wouldn’t want you to conform to elven traditions to please him.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” at this point, you were beginning to question why you came to tauriel for help, seeing as she was being ridiculously cryptic and strangely unhelpful. “in case you forgot, he’s royalty. i can’t exactly woo him with ridiculous memes and call it a day.”

she nodded. “why not? if that is a regular human courting tradition where you’re from, why would he not find it acceptable? it’s part of who you are, and one could only call themselves a worthy suitor if they appreciate those things about their intended.”

okay, she had a little bit of a point. not that you would tell her so, of course. “but i can’t text him memes at ungodly hours of the night, there still is a lack of cell phones to contend with.”

for someone so smart and otherworldly, tauriel thought, you were rather oblivious when your feelings got in the way of your common sense. “then do those things in a different way. as you’ve told me before, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

after a few moments of silent pondering, you realized what she was hinting at. “i can draw the memes! or, well, i can ask meril for assistance in the matter, since i’m not quite used to using quills and such.” tauriel thought she could see the gears turning in your head (if that was indeed the right analogy).

she shouldn’t have been surprised when you leaped from her chaise and wrapped her in a tight hug. humans in your world must be a bit more affectionate than the ones she was vaguely familiar with, “thank you thank you thank you! i’ll let you know how it goes! bye!” with that abrupt exit, tauriel watched you fondly as you sprinted from your rooms, probably heading to the library where you could find meril.

-

legolas was fletching arrows when a courier appeared in his line of vision with a bow. “my prince, a letter for you.” he accepted the outstretched letter with a nod, wondering what it could possibly be.

the parchment was familiar to him, being the very same quality that occupied his own writing desk in his chambers. the only momentary pause was seeing that the few words were written in westron, underneath a drawing of a radish with a tiny face.

“you’re… radishing?” it took him a moment to dissect the pun, shoulders shaking minutely when the meaning fully registered. then his eyes caught your signature on the bottom of the page and his smile grew wider. he folds your letter neatly and tucks it into a pocket. when he goes back to his rooms next, he will deposit it securely on his desk to keep it safe.

the radish is the first of many of these pictures he receives from you, he soon learns that in the world you came from, they’re called “memes” and can convey any number of things depending on the content and context.

during dinner one evening, you passed him a napkin that he unfolded to find another vegetable drawing, this time a smiling carrot, with the words “i carrot a lot about you” that turned the tips of his ears pink. if his father noticed the blush he gave no indication of it.

your memes varied in artistic talent (he would know meril’s penmanship anywhere) but all carried the same intention, which seemed to be making him flustered at the most inopportune times. another thing he learned about memes was that they were frequently sent back and forth between two people.

his own visit to meril seemed to be long overdue.

-

meril has lived for several thousand years in service to the greenwood. yet, in all her centuries of knowledge and experience, she’s never seen two beings dance around feelings with the same grace as prince legolas (or lack thereof, where you were concerned).

you taught her what memes were and provided descriptions of what you deemed “templates” for her to draw,  master copies of a certain type of meme where the meaning of the meme changed depending on the text. it was a very interesting affair, if she did say so herself. they became more popular throughout the kingdom thanks to your influence, so much so that the prince himself came to her one day with an odd request.

“i need you to help me compose a meme worthy of mistor’s laughter.” he looked serious as he ever did, grim determination set in every pore of his face. none would know that he was simply trying to make a meme.

“you need to be more specific, your highness. your dear mistor can find humor in nearly everything around them. in fact, yesterday afternoon, they spilled nearly a month’s worth of ink onto a single piece of parchment and laughingly called it the thirteenth reason.”

legolas smiled at the story before his mind fully processed what she said. “they’re not my- thirteenth reason for what? what were the other twelve?”

meril shrugged, walking towards what became your desk in the library soon after your arrival. many of the templates were strewn about its surface haphazardly, half-finished memes next to their matching templates. “you should find everything you need here, your highness. if mistor arrives before you’re gone, i shall keep them occupied.”

“thank you. i greatly appreciate your help.”

finding blank parchment and a quill, he dipped into your ink jar and quickly got to work.

-

you generally never got letters. any missives you received from various elves were dubbed simply as messages that just happened to be written, which is why being told there was a letter for you had you perplexed. it wasn’t like modern earth discovered how to send carrier pigeons to middle earth in the few years you’ve lived in the greenwood.

instead of asking the courier several questions about the contents of the letter, you simply bid him thanks and quickly tore into it.

the wax seal of the royal line was recognized in seconds. thranduil wouldn’t waste his time writing anything out that he could simply tell you in person with a summons to wherever he happened to be.

that left legolas, and the thought made you giddy just thinking about it.

you registered that there were words written to you, but paid them no mind for the moment. what truly gave you surprise was the fact he used a template. you knew this because you recognized the format; a young girl standing in front of several other people who were giving her audience, a display board just behind her.

this bitch sent you a lisa simpson meme.

after a moment of bewilderment, you actually read the words that were just behind her.

“mistor’s laugh makes the plants grow stronger and could replace the sun with their joy”

you could tell that towards the end he worried about having enough room for all the words in the square with how they got just a smidge smaller. but that didn’t matter to you in the slightest, not when he wrote such a romantic sentiment solely for you. your giggles were the furthest thing from dignified but you didn’t care.

you had a prince to find (and hopefully kiss, if things went your way).