#quite literally coughing up blood and doing an assignment as we speak

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

This is the third time I’ve gotten sick in three weeks I’m bout to AHHHHHHHHHHH

Premium rant in the tags ⬇️

[writingtoforgetreality]

Speak Of The Devil (Malcolm Bright x Winchester!Reader) | Prodigal Son/Supernatural Crossover

[Prodigal Son-Masterlist], [Supernatural-Masterlist]

Summary: What started as a normal case for the NYPD ended in you needing help from your family. Malcolm had never met your brothers & they had no idea you were dating. Things were bound to get complicated, it was inevitable. Still, you had to focus on this case before another person got killed.

Words: 5,557

Warnings: spoilers for 2x02 (doesn’t follow the actual plot obviously), murder, demons, language, confused Malcolm, lil hint at Destiel (barely there, could be missed if you don’t pay attention - sorry, I couldn’t help myself), I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun while writing something

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

The NYPD was assigned to solve a “creepy ass case”, as JT so lovingly put it. As Malcolm & you got to the crime scene, you understood what your fellow coworker had warned you about. Ugh, you hated churches with your guts. Well, that was not entirely true. But whenever a murder happened on a holy ground, nothing good ever came out of it. That was what you experienced before you started working for the police. Before that…you also worked for the police somehow? Just, they were not aware of that & you might have done some criminal things. For the greater good, though! Your brothers & you had saved thousands of people. They still did. You just needed to get out of this life & see if there was more for you to achieve. And there was. Not only did you find a great family who was also your team, at the same time you found Malcolm, your boyfriend.

Back to the case. Walking into a crime scene had always been bizarre to you. It showed you how close you still were to murder, even though you promised your brothers to distance yourself from it entirely. Technically, you did. This was different, though. At least you told yourself so. Gil, JT, Dani & Edrisa were already inspecting the scene when you two walked in. Oh no. This could not be good. The image in front of you seemed familiar & if it were not inappropriate to roll your eyes at a dead person, you would do it. Gil briefly explained the situation to you. Apparently the victim had been a member of the church for 30 years. The Lieutenant & Malcolm interrogated Sister Agnes. She was the one who found the body. There was another thing bothering you, so you did not really pay attention to whatever she was saying. Your focus was solely on JT, who had been through way too much to stand here & act as if everything was fine. A slight touch on his shoulder made him turn his head in your direction.

“Hey, you okay?” of course you were concerned about him. He was family, after all.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he brushed you off as if he did not know what point you were trying to get across.

“Really? Because usually when Malcolm says he’s fine…well, he’s everything but.” a chuckle lightened the mood a little. You had to keep a closer eye on JT for the time being. Just in case.

“Our victim here performed an exorcism.” Malcolm’s statement let your eyes snap back to where he was standing. Edrisa smiled excitedly at him. This woman…She was the sweetest soul. Could be annoying, too. But in a sweet & loving way. Maybe she should turn down her excitement for murder. Who were you kidding? Your boyfriend was probably worse when it came to that. Wanting to have a closer look at the book Malcolm was referring to, you put your gloves on & carefully walked over to him. Trying not to mess up any possible clues left behind by the killer.

“Can I have a look?” you gestured to the small book & Malcolm handed it over to you. Shit. If you remembered correctly, there was a similar one back at the bunker. A look inside the pages confirmed your assumption. No need to freak out right away. There were tons of crazy people out there. Just because of this murder in this church & this book did not mean that there was anything supernatural involved. You just hoped it would stay that way. For everyone’s sake.

Your face fell when Edrisa said that there was a note left behind, written in blood. To the others, it looked like a sign without meaning. It looked familiar to you but you could not quite pinpoint where you remembered it from. Sister Agnes’ words made you stop in your tracks.

“Abaddon.” she breathed out. Sure, why the hell not? Okay, maybe this case was something for your brothers. But wait a damn minute…last time you checked, Abaddon was stabbed with the First Blade. She could not possibly be back, could she?

“Now we know our killer’s name.” Malcolm’s words gained the attention of the entire team. There was no way he had everything figured out already. You knew he was a great profiler but even that would have been too fast for him.

“Oh? Who is it?” Gil asked intrigued.

“You know.” Malcolm paused for a few moments. Probably for dramatic effect but what did you know? “The devil.” you could not help but laugh at his words. Great, now everyone was looking at you weirdly. Oh, he made a joke. Of course he did. Sometimes you forgot that you were not an active part of the hunting life anymore. A few coughs from you stopped the awkward tension in the room. At least a bit.

In no way did you want to defend Lucifer. He had made your life literal hell one too many times. But even he would not go as far & do something as cruel as this. Again, last time you checked, he was dead. But death did not agree with Lucifer. How many times had he died? You probably should not be the one to judge. You were not better by any means.

Excusing yourself to get some fresh air, you grabbed your phone out of your pocket. Hopefully he would pick up. It had been a while since you last talked. The phone rang & rang & slowly you lost hope. Maybe he really was mad at you for being radio silent for so long.

“(Y/N)?” his voice startled you slightly.

“Sam! Uh, hi.” suddenly you turned shy.

“It’s so good to hear from you! How are you?” he was happy that you decided to call after so long.

“I’m good, thanks. Actually, I need to ask you for a favor…” you started.

“What is it? Everything alright?” Sam was growing concerned. Back then, you hated relying on another person, too stubborn to ask for help, because you wanted to do everything on your own.

“There’s a case here in New York…I believe it’s your kind. And I genuinely don’t think I can deal with this on my own.”

“But you’re safe, right?”

“I am, as safe as one can be.” you chuckled. Working for the police & all that. Not that you would tell Sam on the phone. If they were to come by, he would find out sooner or later. “I’ll send you the details, alright? Be here as fast as you can.”

“Okay, no problem. Take care, okay?”

“You too. See you soon.” wow, you were about to see your brothers again. Hopefully everything would be fine & nobody would rip your head off.

��See you, (Y/N).” Sam ended the call & you let out a breath you did not know you were holding.

The phone call should stay a secret for the time being. People breaking out in panic was everything but convenient. Besides, you did not need your team looking at you like you were a lunatic. Malcolm explained possession trance disorder when you joined everyone again. How could one human being know so much about so many unimportant things? Like, this man was a human dictionary. Looking over at Gil, you had to grin by how hard he was trying to make sense of what Malcolm was saying. Gil noticed you staring at him & gave you a look. The one that made you not want to mess with him. Still, you laughed shortly, you could not keep it in any longer. Malcolm gave you a questioning look but you simply shrugged him off by a wave of your hand.

The last interrogation of the day was with the guy who was currently doing the painting job inside the church. Unfortunately, you did not get any more information. Everything he told you, you had already heard from the others. Basically, after interrogating everyone, you were certain that this was not a common case for the NYPD. And you were more than happy that your brothers were on their way to come over. How would you explain any of this to Malcolm? He knew you had two brothers but you had also told him that you were not necessarily talking, only when it came to emergencies. Great, Malcolm would freak out. Even more so than normal, probably.

“Why do we have to visit your father again?” you shot the question at Malcolm as you were walking over the psychiatric yard, looking for Martin. He rolled his eyes at you, exhausted by your constant questioning.

“I’ve explained it a thousand times, (Y/N).”

“Well, I don’t see how any of this is connected to him.” you argued. Whenever Malcolm had the great idea to visit his father, you tagged along. Simply because you knew it was always hard for him & you wanted to support him wherever you could. Right now, though, you were losing your patience. After all, you knew the cause of this case. But your brothers had yet to arrive so you should play along for now.

“Malcolm, my boy. (Y/N)! Always nice to see you.” Martin started, excited to see his son accompanied by you. The first time you visited Martin, he took an immediate liking to you. Probably because he could see that you were good for Malcolm & his son meant the world to him. Still, he was a narcissistic psychopath. Remembering clearly how he had told you that everyone had flaws during your first meeting. Ah, good times.

“I wish I could say the same, Dr. Whitly.” a sarcastic smile plastered on your face. From then on, you let Malcolm do the talking, not really paying attention to what he was saying. Your thoughts were with your brothers, hoping they would get their asses here quickly before you had to endure more of this bullshit. It was frustrating when you knew how to solve this case but there was nobody you could talk to, not about this. Malcolm desperately tried searching for a non-supernatural explanation. Of course he did. And you just stood by, not being helpful at all. Malcolm did notice your quietness but did not comment on it. Not when you were with his father. He would ask you later today, when you were back at home.

Sam sent you a message earlier today, asking for your address to meet up. This meant that they would not take much longer. The knock on the door was confirmation enough. Malcolm walked over, ready to open it & you did not have enough time to warn him. Oh, this was bound to be fun.

“Uh…Hello?” Malcolm, everyone. Great first impression.

“You’re not (Y/N).” you could make out Dean’s voice. Walking up to where Malcolm was standing in the doorway, you looked over his shoulder & smiled at your brothers. They really were here, it had been too long. Softly pushing Malcolm out of the way, you pulled both of them in a long overdue hug. It was only then when you realized how much you had missed them. Malcolm observed the interaction from afar, confusion obviously shown on his face. Right now, you could only focus on the men in front of you, though.

“It’s good to see you guys again.” smiling widely at them. Sam nodded at you & even Dean could not hide the small smile that was forming on his face.

“I’m sorry…Can I help you guys?” Malcolm spoke up, waiting for answers from either you or the strangers that now entered his apartment.

“No, but we’ll help you.” Dean walked over to Malcolm & patted his shoulder.

“Sam, Dean. This is Malcolm. Malcolm. These are my brothers.” you awkwardly introduced them to each other. Malcolm’s mouth hang open & he could not form a coherent sentence.

“Nice to meet you.” Sam held out his hand & it took Malcolm a second to shake it.

“Your brothers?” Malcolm whisper-yelled.

“Yeah?”

“And what are they doing here?” it was not his intention to sound rude, you knew that. Yet, he seemed rather frustrated because you clearly knew they were coming over but decided against telling your boyfriend.

“Remember when I told you that they had a similar job to ours?” Malcolm nodded at you. “This case we’re working on…that’s one of their kind. We wouldn’t be able to solve it without their help.” you tried explaining.

“We have the best working team out there! Of course we could’ve solved it alone!” but you simply shook your head at him. He would understand sooner or later.

Sam & Dean sat down on the expensive couch, Dean putting his feet on the coffee table. Good thing Malcolm did not care too much about his furniture. Malcolm & you brought drinks from the kitchen & sat across from them. Dean only eyed Malcolm, though. The inevitable was about to happen, you just hoped Malcolm would deliver accordingly.

“Who the hell are you?” he was judging Malcolm & neither Sam’s elbow nudging him nor your dirty look changed the way he looked at him. What could you say? Dean was very protective of you, even after ages of not talking.

“Malcolm Bright, profiler for the NYPD.” that made the brothers’ eyebrows raise. Thank God he did not let slip that he was the son of a serial killer.

“You’re working for the police?” Sam eyed Malcolm, now being confused as to why you would get them involved with the police even though you were aware of what they had been through.

“Well, yeah. I mean, (Y/N) & I met there.” Malcolm reasoned. Great, the cat was out of the bag now.

“Seriously (Y/N)?” Dean looked…disappointed?

“Okay, wait a minute. Let me explain!” Sam & Dean nodded at you to continue. “When I left you guys, I really tried to leave this life behind. I did. But I still wanted to help people. So…one thing came to another & then I was part of the NYPD &-“ you were interrupted by Dean, of course.

“And slept around with this guy?” Dean looked Malcolm over & you rolled your eyes at him. Malcolm looked offended but stayed silent.

“This guy is my boyfriend. And his name is Malcolm.” you defended him. “And I asked you to help me with this case, not with my dating life.” looking at Dean sternly, he nodded at you & apologized. He could get caught up in the heat of the moment but you had more important things to focus on.

Throughout your talk, Malcolm sent you questioning looks every now & then. You brushed him off, telling him you would explain it later. Sam & Dean got the message & tried keeping the talk casual. Clearly, your boyfriend did not know about the supernatural & it would be better if it stayed that way.

“Okay, so tomorrow, we’ll talk to Norman & see what we can find out.” Malcolm concluded after some long confusing hours.

“Sammy & I need some sleep after that long ass drive anyway. We’ll be meeting at his house first thing in the morning. Don’t be late.” when he said that, he stared at Malcolm. Rolling your eyes at his childish antics, you slapped him lightly on the chest.

“Do you wanna stay here for the night?” you asked when they were walking to the front door.

“Um, no. We’re checked in at the motel a few blocks down. Besides…” Dean gestured wildly with his hands. “This entire apartment looks too luxurious for us. How did you get so much money anyway?” Dean asked, again motioning at the expensive looking apartment.

“It’s actually Malcolm’s…I moved in not too long ago.” explaining to both of them. Sam nodded, looking satisfied with your current living situation. Dean, of course, had another thing to comment on.

“Oh wow, (Y/N)…Good catch.” winking at you, you shoved him out of the apartment, shaking your head.

“Good night!” you said before closing the door behind them, letting out a long sigh.

“Your brothers are…nice.” Malcolm started. You winced at his choice of words. In your head, it all worked out way better.

“I’m sorry, Mal…They can be quite protective.”

“No, it’s fine, I get it. They’re, uh, very into this religious thing, huh?”

“Oh, you have noooo idea.” you chuckled.

“Why didn’t you tell me they were coming by?”

“I don’t know…I guess I didn’t want you to think that you’re not good enough for this case.”

“But?”

“But I need you to trust me when I tell you that Sam & Dean are the ones who should handle this one.”

“I trust you, you know that, (Y/N). But you have to give me permission to say “I told you so.” when we solve this case without their help.” Malcolm held out his hand for you to shake.

“Deal.” you smiled at him. Your brothers & boyfriend might not become best friends but you did not expect them to. All you wanted was to get rid of whatever killed that priest. And you knew that the supernatural feared Sam & Dean. This would be over soon.

“You sure these are the same guys who were at our apartment yesterday?” Malcolm whispered to you when you were approaching two men in suits. Not their usual flannel attire, they were working a job after all.

“Just play along, alright?” Malcolm nodded at you. He promised to trust you on this & you seemed like you knew what you were doing.

“Detectives.” Dean greeted you.

“Shut up.” you threw back almost immediately. Sam & Dean laughed at your comment.

“I missed you, lil sis.” Dean said with a genuine tone, one that made you smile wildly.

“Alright, let’s do this.” Sam knocked on the door, waiting for it to open. They introduced themselves as FBI & showed the woman in the doorway their badges. Shooting Malcolm a look as if to say “Don’t ask.” & he just acted as if he had not seen this. The woman led you upstairs to a room. She warned you to not cross the salt lines. All of you nodded. Well, all but Malcolm. The poor man could not understand a thing. Sometimes you wished you were this innocent when it came to cases like this. If it were not for Malcolm, this would have felt like the good old days when you spent your time solving case after case with your brothers. Yeah, it had been dangerous & exhausting but you still liked being a hunter. Also, the three of you were one hell of a team.

The door opened & you were met with countless geometrical lines made out of salt. Because a simple circle would not do the job or what? Fucking show-off. Careful not to mess with the salt, the four of you stepped inside the dark room. Norman’s back was facing you. While Sam & Dean simply took in the room to check for any indicators of anything supernatural, Malcolm started interrogating Norman. You signaled the boys to let him do his job.

“The salt keeps him out.” suddenly, Norman’s voice was way deeper than when he first started talking. Weird guy. Still, you did not think it was him.

“Who?” Malcolm asked in a calm voice. He was good at this. Even though he almost always got himself killed.

“The demon.” Norman said. What the hell was wrong with him? Malcolm turned around to you & found the three of you rolling your eyes. Really desperate if a person wanted to be a demon.

“He’s clearly mentally ill.” Malcolm stated quietly.

“Oh, really?” you sarcastically shot back. Who would have thought? Malcolm started lifting one of his foot, meaning to cross the line.

“Mal, wait. Don’t.” you warned him but when did Malcolm ever listen? You were not sure how Norman even noticed Malcolm crossing the line, his back was still facing you after all, but all of a sudden things escalated. Apparently, Norman thought Malcolm was a demon. He was everything but, really. He just had some demons to fight but he was not one. Norman was grabbing a lamp, wanting to attack Malcolm with it but you got everything sorted before anything bad could happen. Norman was on his way in the hospital & you were just glad that everyone was fine.

When all of you were outside the house again, Sam & Dean looked annoyed.

“Dude, we wasted time with this madman.” Dean started. “That’s bullshit.”

“Dean, stop.” you cut him off before the situation got too intense. “He was the only suspect we had. We couldn’t have known he was mentally ill.”

“We should check out the church tonight.” Sam suggested.

“Why at night?” Malcolm asked curiously.

“Oh, look how precious he is.” Dean mocked. If he kept acting that way you might as well salt & burn his bones next. Turning to Malcolm, you tried reasoning with him.

“Because we can’t risk people watching us. Not when we’re doing this.” Malcolm understood but he also planned a lot of questions for when you were back home.

“Alright, we’ll meet there later. Dean & I will take care of everything we might need.” Sam said before walking off to Baby.

“I see you took great care of her.” nudging Dean, motioning at the beautiful ’67 Chevy Impala. Another thing you had missed dearly. Countless nights had been spent in the backseat, you associated this car with a lot of happy memories.

“Always.” Dean smiled at you. “Baby misses you, too, you know?”

“I’m sure she does. After all, I had the brains. Of course she misses my smartness.” Dean shook his head at you, rolling his eyes at the same time. Saying goodbye & turning around, Malcolm gave you a look.

“What?”

“Baby? Her? You sure you were talking about the car?” oh, that was bothering him. Now you understood.

“It’s a long story.” you laughed & gave him a kiss on the cheek before walking past him. He let out a short laugh & smiled at your actions.

“(Y/N)? I think we should talk.” Malcolm started shortly after you entered your shared apartment.

“Oh no…that’s never a good sign.”

“What’s going on here?” you could tell he was serious. Fuck, you hated lying to him. One of the reasons why you had barely mentioned your brothers was to avoid questions you did not want to answer. It was now or never. Telling Malcolm to sit down, you were about to start at the very beginning. There were still a few hours left before you had to be at the church, might as well use it appropriately. Hopefully, Malcolm did not decide to leave you after opening up to him.

“So…you’re telling me that monsters are real, your brothers hunt them down & you used to help them before you left.” you nodded when Malcolm tried processing what you had just told him. “And my girlfriend saved the world more than once.” he concluded.

“Pretty much, yeah.” he was silent for a few seconds. That would be the moment he would ask you to leave.

“My girlfriend is a badass.” Malcolm mumbled & started laughing then. You joined in.

“Really? That’s all you have to say?” you questioned, not really believing that he dealt with it so casually.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m freaking out.” he confessed. “You know, makes me think of all the cases we couldn’t solve. Maybe we weren’t successful because of…supernatural beings playing a part. But honestly, it’s just another thing that got added to my plate. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Mal…”

“No, really. I mean it. Besides, now I know that if I ever meet a monster, you’re here to fight it off. Or your brothers. If I were a monster, I’d be scared as shit of them.” Malcolm finished & you laughed, throwing your entire body back on the couch. That actually went quite well? At least something positive.

Churches were creepy in general. But churches at night? That was a whole other level of madness. You met Sam & Dean at the Impala, Dean’s face buried in the trunk, looking for suitable weapons. Malcolm had promised not to question your actions & you were thankful for it. Because you had other things to focus on. Dean handed out weapons which you gladly accepted.

“Mal? You gotta promise me to stay behind.” concerning eyes met his & he knew better than to argue with you. Malcolm gulped but nodded anyway.

“You ready to do this?” Sam asked.

“I am but I think (Y/N)’s a little rusty.” Dean commented.

“Just...let’s get this over with…” rolling your eyes at Dean, you hated to admit that he was most likely right. You had not been on a hunt in a very long time but you knew you could fight when push came to shove.

The four of you entered the church silently, weapons at ready. After walking around for a while, Dean lifted his hand to stop you all. Trying to get a better look at what made him freeze, you were shocked when you saw Jonah, the painter, pacing these holy grounds. Why did you not think of him? It was quite obvious, really. Maybe you were getting rusty.

“Well, he is a demon, no doubts, but he isn’t Abaddon.” Dean spoke, quietly enough as to not get caught. “So if you guys distract this son of a bitch, I can catch him off guard from behind & stab him.”

“No, wait. You can’t kill him, Dean.” you argued. There was still a possibility of a human being somewhere inside.

“What? Why?” Dean turned towards you & tilted his head in confusion. Sighing out, you tried to talk some sense into him.

“Let Sam do an exorcism. We don’t know if Jonah’s still in there.” Dean thought about this for a few seconds but nodded afterwards. Sam grabbed an old lore book with the exorcism inside. He remembered the words by heart but better safe than sorry, right? Your plan was to stay hidden, the church was dark enough to do that without getting caught.

The demon was confused when he heard the first words of the exorcism, already struggling to stay inside Jonah. Good, he was not a strong one. Malcolm stayed close with you. Sam & Dean each took one side of the church, just in case something went wrong. Sam continued with the latin words & the demon was unable to move anymore. He was trapped in one place. That was when all of you made yourself shown to him. Hopefully, Jonah was still alive in there. If not, you had a lot of explaining to do. You already had but another dead person would make everything even more complicated.

“I AM ABADDON!” the demon screamed & you noticed that he barely had enough strength to stay in Jonah’s body anymore. Malcolm stayed in the background, simply observing & letting you do your job.

“I’m sure you wanna be, pal.” Dean got closer to the demon but not too close for it to be dangerous. “But we got rid of her a long time ago.” and it was true. Abaddon’s death was years ago. Why this demon thought to be her? You were not sure. But you also did not care. You just wanted this to be over. Sam finished the ritual & black smoke came out of Jonah’s mouth. After that, he fell to the floor & all of you ran over to him. Malcolm checked for a pulse & nodded when he felt it. Letting out a breath, you were glad that you could save him. Grabbing your phone out of your pocket, you dialed 911 & called Gil right after.

In no time, cars were surrounding the church. Sam, Dean, Malcom & you were standing in a small circle outside. Gil approached you.

“What the hell happened? And who the hell are you guys?” the second question was directed at your brothers who coughed a little, not knowing how to answer. Time to sell a little fake story.

“Gil, these are Sam & Dean, my brothers.” Gil shook both men’s hands.

“Didn’t know you had brothers.” he noted.

“Long story…Anyway, they came to visit & stayed at our apartment. They kinda overheard Malcolm & I talking about the case. Sam, here, has the brains-“

“Hey!” Dean feigned hurt at your words.

“And he pieced everything together. We didn’t wanna waste time & before I even had the chance to call you, we had already caught him.” as soon as you finished, Malcolm joined in to help with your little white lie.

“Jonah was poisoned by the lead in the paint he was using. It can cause dissociative behavior that can be mistaken for possession.” thank God for Malcolm “Human Dictionary” Bright. Gil could not argue with this so he simply went back over to the rest of the team. Nice job.

“Thanks guys.” addressing Sam & Dean.

“So that’s it, huh?” Sam asked, sad that he knew he had to let you go again. Yet, he supported your decision.

“Hey, Malcolm?” Dean looked at him. “I wanna show you something, come on.” Malcolm followed Dean to the black car which left you alone with Sam.

“He’s gonna kill him, isn’t he?” Sam laughed at your words.

“Possibly.” then he turned serious again. “I miss you.” Sam confessed, his jaw clenching.

“I miss you, too, Sammy.” looking up at him, you continued. “And I’m sorry for disappearing off the radar. It’s just…when I left, this entire starting new thing took more time than I thought it would.”

“I get it & I’m not asking you to come back with us. I can see that you like it here. You’ve finally found your happiness & by the way Malcolm looks at you? He’s utterly in love with you, (Y/N). Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I will, I promise. You, too. Call me when you’re starting the next apocalypse.” you joked with him. He then pulled you into a big hug, one that you had missed so much. Sam always gave the best hugs.

“What is it?” Malcolm asked Dean, nervous as to why he wanted to talk to him alone.

“Look, man, (Y/N)’s my little sister & I’d do anything for her. So if you ever hurt her…know that I’ll beat the crap outta you.” Malcolm gulped but found enough courage to answer him.

“I love (Y/N). I’d never to do anything to hurt her. I get why you worry, I do. But she’s safe here. I promise.”

“Hey Dean, go easy on him.” their heads snapped in the direction your voice was coming from. By the smile on your face, he knew you were joking. Sam & you reached the car.

“I’ll miss you.” approaching Dean, you were more than satisfied when he opened his arms for you to pull you into a hug. He pressed a soft kiss on top of your head before releasing you again.

“Malcolm promised me to keep you safe.”

“Did he now?” turning around, eyeing your boyfriend with a smirk.

“Check in with us, okay?” Dean grew serious.

“I will, I promise. You guys take care of yourselves, okay?” both men nodded. “Tell Cas I said hi. How are you two doing anyway?” you stopped briefly to wink at him which made Sam chuckle quietly. “And bring him next time.”

“Alright, goodbye.” Dean said, laughing at you, Sam joining him.

“Bye, guys.” you waved at them when they got into the car.

Leaning into Malcolm’s side, you could feel his arm sneaking around your waist to keep your close. For a few moments, you stood there in silence, watching the Impala slowly disappear out of your view.

“Do I need to be jealous of this Cas guy?” Malcolm asked all of a sudden & you broke out into laughter. His confused face was hilarious.

“Trust me, Mal. If you meet him, you’ll know that there’s no need to be jealous.” tears were threatening to escape your eyes. The simple image of you & Cas together made you laugh out loud.

“I guess I need to trust you on that.”

“Hey, remember what you said when you thought we wouldn’t need help solving this case?” you asked him, changing the topic entirely. His face showed you that he did, in fact, not remember.

“I told you so.” you smirked at him, enjoying how his smile slowly faltered. Rolling his eyes at you, he wanted to say a witty remark. You knew what he was trying to do but before he had the chance, you silenced him with a long, soft kiss. That always managed to do the job. Pulling away after a few seconds, you lovingly stared into his eyes. This moment could have been overly romantic. If it were not for you putting salt into his wound.

“I told you so.” repeating your previous words, you walked away from him, sarcastically smiling as you did so. You were right about this & Malcolm prepared himself to hear the same words over & over from now on.

Published (04/15/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @thefictionalgemini, @prodigalsonlovingbisexual, @octopus5555, @claudiaparker30, @the-unknown-fan-girl, @popcornanon, @jasminetea-andpaisho, @anatanotegami, @blackandwhitejoker (thanks for your support <3)

[husbandograveyard]

Chapter II: The Stem

Chapter Summary: So, you’re interning with Hawks. And he’s even more perfect from up close. If only it weren’t so hard to actually get close. 

Chapter Warnings: Pining, secondhand embarrassment, tiniest mention of blood. 

Word Count: 2.5k 

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Series Masterlist 

Even though your love had been growing for a pretty long time, it was now in a deep slumber. Sometimes, to wake something up, a good shaking is needed. But sometimes, a single moment can be enough already. 

In your hero training, you had learned very early on that nerves were not necessarily a bad thing. The adrenaline could be used to push yourself a little bit past your limits every time you felt your heart thumping in your chest and the blood rushing through your veins. Nervousness, much like fear, was just a bodily response to a situation, a way of your body telling you ‘Okay, we’re ready for whatever is coming’. 

Only today you weren’t facing a villain, quite the opposite. You were literally about to meet your hero, and you were more nervous about it than you thought you would be. 

It was still remotely quiet on the streets. It was way too early for most people to be out yet. You weren’t exactly sure as to why Hawks would let an intern start this early, but you had mentally chuckled at your own thought of Hawks being an early morning bird. Maybe that would be a perfect joke to crack to diffuse any nervous tension, or maybe that was a terrible idea. You didn’t even know if you would be able to speak properly the moment you’d come face to face to the man that you had been trying to meet again for such a long time. 

You slipped your phone in your pocket after checking the time for the sixth time that morning. Being a little early was considered polite, being half an hour too early was not. You didn’t want to come across as a nervous over-achiever who couldn’t even read a clock properly, but you had to admit that you hadn’t been able to close an eye that night, and had decided to get up and get ready earlier than anticipated, thus arriving at Hawks’ agency building more than an hour early. 

‘Time for another walk around the block’ you told yourself as you turned to the side to walk around the block once more. If anything, you were getting a good idea of what the general neighborhood around the agency looked like, something that could only help you if you were to patrol around the agency soon.

“L/n Y/n?” 

You had barely taken a step to get started on your fourth walk for the morning when you heard a familiar yet strange voice call out your name. Your head whipped around to look at the source of the sound, only to see him standing there. 

“Mr Hawks! Sir!” You stumbled over your words, scrambling to turn around and bow at the same time to greet your new mentor. You felt the blood rush through your face, your heartbeat loud and clear in your ears as you tried to hide your embarrassment for the words you just said and the fact that you had been idling in front of his agency for long enough to be noticed. 

You heard him chuckle. You stood up straight again, only to see him dismissively wave his hand in front of him. “Oh please, none of those formalities. They make me feel incredibly old. Keigo is fine in here, just Hawks when we’re outside. We will be working together after all.”

You nodded eagerly, still a little shaken from the sudden confrontation. You were feeling starstruck, you were finally meeting your idol, your hero, but at the same time, there was still the familiarity of seeing the little boy from the hallway, all grown up. It gave you the weirdest feeling, a strange sense of déjà vu, a tingle that started in your stomach and then spread over your entire body. You couldn’t put a name on it, but it felt exciting. 

“I’m sorry I am so early.” 

“No worries, I have been here for a couple of hours already. Night shift.” 

You nodded again and followed him as he walked inside, but not before pointing up at a point a little above the door you had been idling in front of earlier. “The cameras picked you up about an hour ago, I recognized you immediately.”

Your heart skipped a beat. He recognized you? Could it be that he remembered you? Even after all those years? The mere idea made you feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“You really look exactly like the pictures on your resumé.” 

Your heart dropped as Hawks continued to speak, he didn’t even notice your sudden lift and drop in mood. It was over before he could even face your way. 

“Thought I’d come retrieve you and show you around before you were gone again walking around the block.” 

You laughed nervously, apologetically. You were feeling like a fool. Of course he wouldn’t recognize you. It had been years. He had been trained, became famous. He had met so many people, seen so many faces. Of course he’d forget someone he knew when he was five? seven? Even you had a hard time pinpointing the age you had been and the memories played in over and over in your head like a broken record. For him, they were probably nothing more than a blur, something that had to be erased from his memory to make room for things that were so much more important. 

Hawks showed you around the building. The agency didn’t employ a lot of people. “I am too fast for most sidekicks to keep up with, they’re more so a cleanup team than anything else.” There were a few offices: “The administrative team saves my life. They take over all the things that I simply don’t have the time for. But reports and such are important, they probably tell you that plenty at UA.” 

You could only nod and try and remember as much as you could before the tour ended. There was only one other person in the building besides you and Hawks, because you were so early, and the people taking the day shift would arrive a little later. Most other employees had been sent home for the day, the night shift had been very uneventful Hawks had told you and he had added that it was how it should be. 

He had shown you to a small office space, across the main office, where he sat. “Not often, because I rarely do my own paperwork. Most of what I do is patrols, the occasional actual hero work when crime happens and a whole lot of set work for magazines, commercials… those things.” That matched the image you had made up in your mind of him. He definitely didn’t seem like the type to waste away many hours behind a desk. None of the top pro heroes seemed the type to be honest, with a few exceptions like Nighteye maybe.

“Himari is the head of administration, she does most of my planning and such. I just check my phone calendar and she tells me where to be. You’ll spend quite a lot of time with her. You can wait in her office for now.”

You walked into the door that he held open, taking a seat across the neatly organized desk.  You turned around in your seat as you noticed Hawks not following. “I’m going home for a quick nap, I have some shoots in the afternoon. Good luck Y/n.”

With that, he closed the door and left you alone in the office. You had a few moments of silence, a few minutes of rest before the internship would turn into actual work, and you made great use of them to calm down. Nearly an hour had passed since Hawks had picked you up at the entrance and showed you around the agency. Time had flown by, and it had been hard to focus within Hawk’s presence. He seemed so easygoing, so laid back. A lot of his hero persona seemed genuine, and you found this a very attractive trait. And truth be told, his personality wasn’t the only attractive thing. 

You coughed to clear your throat and your own mind. You were here to grow as a hero. Surely, you had your ulterior motive of wanting to reconnect with your little childhood friend, but the more you thought about it now that you were here, the more that seemed like a bad idea. Your gut was contradicting your brain, because even the little contact just now was enough to make you crave more somehow. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by someone entering the office you were sitting in. A beautiful looking young woman entered and approached you to shake your hand.

“You must be y/n, I’m Himari.” 

You stood up, murmuring a “Nice to meet you” back as you shook her hand, a little disoriented from your thoughts being interrupted so suddenly.

“Welcome here. I will be your go-to for all your questions and concerns during your internship with Hawk’s agency. ”

“Thank you.” 

“I am assuming you want to spend as much time as possible with Hawks himself, and while I will be doing my best to assign you things that will allow you to work with him, I must warn you… He is a bit of a loner when it comes to hero work. He’s too fast for most to keep up with.” 

You nodded understandingly, Hawks was notorious for his speed and he had said it so himself earlier as well. You were still hoping there was some role left for you out in the field. You were by no means future top ten material, but you were definitely working hard enough to make a name for yourself in school. You were sure there were some ways in which you could even be useful to someone like Hawks. 

Himari continued: “that being said. Would you be up for some media work? It’s all part of being a hero too, and Hawks doesn’t mind some company when he’s out on set.” 

You blinked a couple times. While she was right, PR work was a lot of a pro’s job, you hadn’t even considered it being part of your internship. Especially not next to someone like Hawks. 

“I don’t… I-”

Himari laughed. “Oh don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it seems. And it’ll be a great way to get your face out there for future job opportunities.” 

You nodded, because she was right. There was nothing to lose if you’d do this, and it seemed like the best way to actually spend time with Hawks. 

“You’re right, it’s a very good opportunity. I would like to try it out.” 

She nodded and grabbed a pen, moving behind her desk to scribble some things down.

“Well… other than that I have a variety of work for you. Do you have something to write with? Because this might be a lot to take in all at once.” 

You panicked a little. You had put a snack, some drinks and all the essentials in your bag to take with you, but pen and paper, something you’d never failed to bring to school, was something you now completely forgot to bring here. Your panic was only short lived when Himari slid a notebook and a pen across the desk for you to take. You mumbled a thanks as she started to list up all your possible tasks and what would be expected from you if they’d be assigned to you. 

The list seemed endless and your hand was a little sore when she finally stopped talking and you had a vague idea of all the things they could possibly ask from you. Nothing your training at UA hadn’t prepared you for, and yet, seeing it all stacked up like this in a nice list made it seem a little overwhelming. The most disappointing part of it all was the amount of tasks you had put a little star next to: the things where you would actually be working together with Hawks. 

The first couple of days you only ran into him sporadically, doing some patrols with another sidekick, filing reports, helping Himuri with contacting certain brands for advertising… Hawks stopped by your office twice to check up on you, and both those moments, you felt like you were on top of the world. Despite working very hard and most of the time not really doing the work you were hoping to do, the little moments you got to spend with him, where you were important enough to him to just come say hi to, made it all worth the hard work.  

Today’s meeting had been especially motivating. He sat on your desk, telling you that he had heard great things about Himari of your work. You could only smile and thank him profusely, your heart racing the moment he smiled and winked at you. “Let’s hope you do just as well on set tomorrow.”

You choked on air while trying to form a response and coughed a couple times. The wink had activated a whole new level of butterflies and you felt almost embarrassed to admit that at this point, you were actually developing a crush on your mentor, your childhood friend, even though he had no idea who you are besides a hardworking intern. You knew you’d be accompanying him on a commercial shoot the next day, you had not expected to actually get involved in the shooting. 

“I will do my best to not disappoint you si- I mean Hawks.”

He laughed. His eyes closed, shoulders shaking. A genuine laugh. It was a little loud, and with anyone else, you’d have thought it insincere. But from him, it was the best thing you’d heard in a while. 

“No need to be nervous, I’ll help you through it. After all, it’s only natural that I’d actually do some mentor work, right?” He smiled again, and you could only nod, clearing your throat as you tried to get rid of an itch that had persisted after the coughing fit. 

“I’ll leave you to your paperwork for now. I’ll see you tomorrow y/n.” 

“I look forward to working with you tomorrow.”

“Oh and Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t be an hour early, if you sleep in, you’ll make life easier for the people doing the make-up.”

He chuckled, closing the door behind him as you looked down at your paper in embarrassment. You knew he was kidding, but still felt a little ashamed every time he referenced the hour you had been waiting at the front door when you just started. You wiped away a droplet of spittle that had flown from your mouth in the earlier coughing fit, grabbing a tissue to clean the tiny spot from your desk. You were shocked to see the little patch on your tissue was red.

Taglist

@cathy8taffy  @kingdomseasalt @harley-the-cosplayer   @silenceofthecookies  @pinkhatlizzy  @franko-pop-3000​

[zach-the-fox]

Frostfur Episode 4: Guardian

My eyes flutter open to the light against my face as it creeps in through the cervices of the boards in the window, yet the wind still howls outside and the snow falls lighter than it did last night. Pushing myself into a sitting position, I look around to see the girls are lying in their bedrolls, eyes shut and not a single movement of any limbs. They still sleep peacefully, dreaming perhaps, but I am the first one up. It’s best if I check our supplies and see how much food we’ve got left. Searching the rations, I count just enough for a day. There’s really not much left, so I must go out and scavenge or hunt. Knowing the girls will be alone when they wake, I’m slow to my feet and make it out the door, closing it behind to avoid waking them. I promise, I’ll be back soon.

I ready my rifle and wander around the frozen grove, scanning for potential sources of food. We won’t survive on just a day of rations. Our trip to Winterhome could take longer than a day, and starving is not an option. It’s going to be tough, since the winter has forced plants to hibernate, not knowing when they’ll wake, and the poor animals that are hungry, yet have nothing to eat while the cold persists. Nature’s life cycle has frozen to a standstill, literally. However, some are still clinging onto life as the lucky ones, finding food here and there much like the beast from Emmy’s cave. Emmy… I hope she’s doing all right. If I’m lucky, then her cold may subside enough for us to continue our travels. I just hope she and Carly didn’t wake to think I’ve gone to abandon them…

As I’m deep with worry, that’s when my ears twitch. The sounds of gruntled roars catch me off guard and cause me to turn to the source of the sound. Raising my rifle, I sneak over toward the snow-covered brushes. When I peek through, I’m emotionless as to what I’ve found; a large reindeer lies incapacitated on the cold ground. Both its legs are cut badly, and the cold is not helping with its condition. The animal still struggles to move, shouting at the wind, unable to get back on its hooves. It remains lying there as if not having the will or the strength to get back up. This is a perfect opportunity to gain some meat from it. I aim my rifle at the prefect spot. My finger rests on the trigger, ready to fire the blow. It’s been a few seconds, and yet I haven’t made the action that’ll decide this animal’s fate. That’s because another feeling has come over me to combat my excitement for free meat; sorrow. This animal was wandering in the frozen woods not too long ago, and got hurt by something. Now, unfortunate as it is, it lies out in the open, suffering through the cold weather and starving. Letting out a sigh, I lower my rifle and walk over to the creature with ease. Catching a glimpse of me, the mammal only stares up at the stranger that has walked into its view.

“It’s pretty bad, isn’t it?” I say. “And there’s no way to heal from it… All you can feel is pain and suffering… You just want it all to end, don’t you?” The animal remains silent as if knowing what I mean. “I understand what you’re feeling… It’s never good to suffer… I can fix that for you…” I line my shot up to its head. “I’m sorry…” I squeeze the trigger. Bang! The reindeer ceases its movement and lies there motionless. I know what I did was cruel, but it was necessary because we need food, and I didn’t want this poor creature to suffer. I’m wasting time… I put my rifle away and take out my knife, making my way to the side of the dead mammal. Kneeling on my knees and stabbing its belly, I slice my blade across and open the stomach, where I proceed to cut the biggest parts of the animal. Blood pools by my knees, so I’m forced to lift them and bend my back. It’s painful to bend my back, putting stress on it while doing work. Talk about pain and suffering… Just a few more cuts and I’m done. I need as much meat as I can take so none of us end up hungry. Finally, after taking the last bits of the carcass, I stand and slide my knife away. Not too much meat, but it’ll do. And so, I make my way back to where the shack stands.

My mind is still troubled, though. Thinking back about the reindeer makes me think about things that have happened in my own past. In Liverpool’s orphanage, I was always the weak one, pushed by most of the kids who resided there. When you’re small and alone, you are easy prey for those who are bigger. I have not made a single friend from that orphanage, either because everyone thought I was something from the underworld, or they’d leave before you’d get to know them. Yes, I’ve had a sad life in Liverpool. I guess that’s why I’ve joined the royal army. I was sick and tired of being labeled as the “weak one”. I also think it’s unfair how nature picks off the weak and chooses the strong over them without giving them a chance. My destiny is to help those who are helpless and defend them from any harm that comes to them. And with the world now covered in snow and ice, things are much harder for the weaklings. Nonetheless, we’ve always triumphed over nature, and we shall triumph over it again!

I’m back at the shoddy cabin, now. As walk through the door and close it behind me, I’m greeted with yawns. The girls have just woken up and shift their gazes at me. “Rise and shine, Ladies,” I tell them. “Slept peacefully?”

“Zach,” Emmy begins, letting out a cough as soon as she speaks. “Where have you gone?”

“Was only out for a few minutes,” I explain. “Just needed to look for extra food for our journey. Can’t make it to Winterhome on empty stomachs now, can we?”  

“We shouldn’t really go out just yet,” protests Carly. “Emmy is still sick, isn’t she?”

“Aye,” I reply. “Perhaps some venison stew may help with that cold.” I approach the woodpile, replenish the stock, and start another fire. Taking an iron pot and cooking set with some spoons and bowls found from the corner, I set up the suspension above the fire before placing the pot on it. Then, I add the venison, and some snow found from outside. As we’re waiting for the stew to cook, I sit back and begin a new conversation. “So, girls, what are your plans for when we reach Winterhome? Aside from hugging your families.”

“Hopefully please the people with good art,” Carly answers. “It’s hard now to be happy in a world full of snow. I want to make everyone happy with whatever I draw, and give them inspiration to never give up and just keep on as if it’s nothing.” Quite a good dream at that. Making people happy with art doesn’t seem like a terrible idea. In fact, I’m sure the citizens of Winterhome wouldn’t mind viewing marvelous works the cat has created. Huh, it really makes me ponder the kind of stuff Carly has drawn. I’ll have to ask her for the sketches of her sketchbook.

“I…” Emmy takes her time to explain her new purpose. “I have no clue… It hasn’t crossed my mind on what I plan to do once we get to Winterhome.” She lets out a cough.

“You hadn’t given any thought to it?” asks Carly. “Well, I’m sure being an engineer, you’ll get to do a lot of technological stuff like building machines for the city.”

“I’m not sure I want to be an engineer anymore… I’m quite interested in in the arts and want to pursue that kind of career in it.”

“Okay,” I add. “That’s fine, if there even is room to be an artist. I wish you both luck on your aspirations.”

“How about you, Zach,” Emmy utters before a cough. “What are your plans for Winterhome?”

I hadn’t given it much thought. I was mostly concern about the safety of both her and Carly, as well as anyone else I had encountered, that I was blind to think of my own future in the new world. So, I muster up something that is understandable. “I look after those who are weak and unable to fend for themselves. If they allow it, I could be assigned to help watch over the people.”

“What does that mean?” Carly butts in. “In what way would you watch over the people?”

“Just as a guard,” I explain. “You’ve seen the riots and the unrest around the world, haven’t you? When crops of the world suddenly died and the imminent cold caused mass panic?” The two girls nod. “Even in an apocalyptic winter, there is bound to be unrest and riot. There needs to be order, especially in a new civilization.”

Emmy continues to nod her head. “Okay, I understand. You’re very kind and protective, Zach. We appreciate everything you’ve done and what you are doing now. If you hadn’t come along, I would’ve been killed in that cave.” She coughs again.

Carly agrees with her. “The same goes with me. Only, if you didn’t stop and encounter me, I would’ve fallen into the springs and froze to death.”

Their words nearly bring tears to my eyes, yet I try hard to hold them back as it shows a sign of weakness. So, my mouth bends into a smile to show my reaction. “Thank you.” The fumes of the venison meat fill my nostrils, bringing me back to reality and reminding me that I’ve got food to dole out to hungry girls, and I. “Oh! I nearly had forgotten!” I stir the pot with a spoon nearby and ready some bowls of the stew. “Fresh venison stew?” After readying a bowl each, I hand each one to the girls before taking one myself. “This will help combat the cold.”

“Couldn’t we have had our rations instead?” Carly queries.

“We could’ve,” I answer. “But, warm rations are not really a pleasant meal. Besides, I’ve got enough meat to last us a few more days from my hunt.”

“This stew is delicious,” comments Emmy, taking the spoon from her mouth and then swallowing. “You learn to make this with the army?”

“I’m not really too good of a cook, but I’ve learned to dish up some simple, yet delicious meals here and there. Perhaps the citizens of Winterhome can cook better than I can when we get there.” That actually reminds me, we have to get back on our travels.

“I’m not to sure it’s all right,” Carly says. “Isn’t Emmy still sick?”

“It’s nothing more than a cold,” protests Emmy. “I don’t feel as ill as I did from last night.”

I face her, concerned for her health. “You sure about that? We can rest for a few more hours until you are ready.”

“I’ll be fine,” she juts. “I just need more of this venison stew.” The warthog continues to slurp on the steaming liquid of mouth-watering meat. Carly and I both follow her motives, taking our time to finish the well-cooked soup I had prepared for us. Though, I would’ve liked for us to have been up and about already, which would have us in Winterhome by this hour. But, nonetheless, we shall wait longer, for food is more important, and we will talk away as we finish the last of our hot meal.

@carlycmarathecat​ @emmy-the-absolute-goof​

[addie-bear]

[ @addie-bear @chances-r-high @high-chancellor-raask and also staring a ton of people I’m too lazy to make blogs for ]

(( The following contains spoilers for Game of Thrones. Because I have exactly zero self control. ))

“This emergency meeting of the Senate of the Galactic Alliance is now in session,” Senator Destiel announced from her place at the front of the large room. Addie observed that this was perhaps the largest meeting room she'd ever seen, minus anything she'd seen on the Glitter Massive. The Senators were seated along a large wooden table that curved around the room, vaguely resembling a horseshoe. Addie was placed in the middle at a small desk. She couldn't help but drum her fingers nervously. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that she was on trial.

“Today we are here to discuss possible candidates to replace High Chancellor Ra'ask, or Dwight Dwicky as we've come to truly know him,” Destiel continued. “We have compiled some options. And Miss Denivar the reason you are here, is to give a different perspective. Seeing as in the past we have failed quite spectacularly to listening to outside voices.” She seemed to eye a few people in the room in particular. Addie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

“So, have you had a chance to look over the candidate files I sent you?”

Addie nearly snorted at the way the question was phrased. As soon as she'd found out what this meeting was to be about she'd thought long and hard about what she was going to say. She took a deep breath and stood up.

“I have, Senator. But...I don't think any of these people you've shown me are what the Galactic Alliance needs.”

“I beg your pardon,” Senator Wark snapped, turning to Destiel. “Destiel I told you this was a bad idea! She's still just some dumb kid.”

“She is a highly intelligent young woman who did what no one else in this room managed to accomplish,” Destiel said. “And the only reason you are angry is because you submitted your own name into that pile. Now sit down.”

Wark grumbled something under his breath in a language Addie didn't recognize, but she could tell just by the look he was giving her that he could be a problem. That was okay. Maybe if she could convince everyone else…

“As you were saying, Miss Denivar?” Destiel encouraged.

Addie cleared her throat. “What the Galactic Alliance needs is someone who truly knows the ins and outs of its government. I'm talking the good, the bad and the ugly. Dwicky had his hands deep in a lot of underground stuff and black market trading. Dirty deals left and right. But if you have someone who understands that world, that lived through it, then they will know how to best get the Galactic Alliance out of it and rebuild the integrity of the union.

“And it...probably wouldn't hurt if he had been originally trained for the job since birth. And actually cared about people.”

Destiel raised a brow. “I'm sorry but...are you talking about Chance Dwicky? Isn't he Dwight’ clone?”

“He is nothing like him, assure you. Starting with how he uses my last name these days.”

“...Didn't he kidnap you?”

“Yes, but kidnapping is just basic courtship tactics in my family,” she said, waving her hand in dismissal. When the room stared at her in a bit of horror, she coughed. “Sorry that was a...bad joke. Look, I'm not wrong. He knows the Galactic Alliance like the back of his hand. He probably knows its problems better than anyone alive. And how to fix them. Yeah, he's done some terrible things. I won't deny that. But it was under manipulation and abuse. He's...so much different than before. He's one of the most compassionate people I know. And well...everyone loves a good redemption story.”

The Senators exchanged looks amongst themselves. Well, all except for Wark, who was pouting like a petulant child. After several moments Destiel turned back to Addie.

“We will...consider it. Thank you, Miss Denivar.”

000000000

“You did what?!”

“Look, I literally only thought about when they showed me the candidates,” Addie explained. “And let it be known I'm not exaggerating when I say they suck, Chance.”

“Addie. I literally can't do this,” Chance argued. “Like... literally cannot.”

“Yes. You can. I know you can. Chance I've seen you take charge of an operating room like you owned the place. I've seen how far you will go for people, and not just people you care about. People who are complete strangers to you.” She reached up and held his face in her hands. “The Galactic Alliance is torn to shreds. Who better to heal it than a doctor? And not just any doctor, someone who knows it better than anyone else every could, someone who's the protégé of Team Nebula's Chief Medical Officer and the Queen of Lazuroth? And you've already built relationships with some of the representatives! so there’s that!

Chance hesitated in his response. He shouldn't be so...floored that Addie had so much faith in him. But...he was. He felt his face heat up and his heart pick up speed. He reached up and took her hands in his. “It's not...that I don't want it. I just...never thought it was a possibility anymore. Like...there have been times where...a part of me wishes I'd went back just so I can over throw him myself but…” He looked into Addie's eyes. But you. But Iris. But everything and everyone I have now.

Addie smiled a little. “You can have it now, though. If you still want it. And you could actually do things the way you want them done.”

Chance took a shaky breath, but he nodded. His name wasn't Chance for nothing.

“They want to meet you tomorrow. Interview you, I guess.” She gave him a reassuring smile. “You're gonna be brilliant.” 

Chance smiled, leaning in kissing her forehead. “Speaking of...healing things,” he awkwardly segued. He pulled out a vial from his pocket. It looked eerily similar to the vial Harmonia had sent her, except the liquid looked more holographic. “I...took the liberty of developing this. The vial they gave you wasn't... immediately harmful, but after analyzing what was left in there, I realized it would...well once it wears off it's going to ruin all of your recovery. You'll be back in a wheelchair.”

Addie frowned a little. “Can't say I'm surprised. I figured there had to be a catch somewhere.”

Chance nodded. “This one though...it'll stop that from happening. You'll be fully recovered. Besides, you know, having to monitor you for seizures and such.”

“Fun,” Addie drawled, before her smile returned tenfold. “Thank you, love.” She took the vial from Chance, grinning broadly. “Almost symbolic, don't you think? Take something your asshole dad helped make and then make it better.”

Chance snorted. “Calm down, there, Songbird. I have to win first.” He took her hand as the kept walking along the path of the large solarium. “And I'm pretty sure the odds of that aren't in my favor.”

Chance won the election by a two-thirds vote.

000000000

Dwicky grumbled when he heard movement outside. Usually that signaled yet another person coming to see him, and so far they'd all not been great visits. The last one had been his court assigned lawyer. Apparently even his own personal attorney had turned against him.

At least he was kept up to date on what was going on out there.

His cell door opened and he sat up from his spot on the floor. He couldn't help but cackle. “Well, well. Fancy seeing you here, Commander.”

Addie grinned a little. “It's Admiral now.”

Dwicky's brow furrowed. “Admiral?”

“Yep. Admiral and Master of Arms to the new High Chancellor of the Galactic Alliance.” She smirked. “You should probably be careful of the people you call failure.”

Dwicky just cackled. “What a pretty little ending for you. To the victor goes the spoils, am I right?” She scoffed. “I suppose you do win this round.”

“This round?” Addie asked. She probably shouldn't be rubbing things in his face. That wasn't why she was here. But...it really was far too tempting. “This is curtains for you, I'm afraid. They even gave me permission to use Cynder to execute you.” She folded her arms. “You're done.”

“Do you really think I'll be the last one?” Dwicky asked. “The late monster you'll ever have to take on. The final boss if you will?” He cackled. “Must be nice, believing you're the hero in this story.”

Addie narrowed her eyes. “You certainly aren't.”

“No, you see, you're not understanding, Admiral,” said Dwicky. “How many titles do you have now? Princess of Lazuroth? Admiral and Master of Arms? Phoenix of Justice is the newest one I've heard. Should we slap on Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons on there, as well?”

“I mean, if you must,” Addie told him. “Do you have a point?”

“My point, little bird, is precisely what I tried to tell you before. You think you're so good. Justice incarnate. The savior of the multiverse. But let's take a moment, here. Your mother is the Queen of Lazuroth. Your father the head of the most well known neutral negotiations group in the universe. Your uncle is the Tallest the largest and most stable Irken Empire there is. And now you have one mate the head of the Galactic Alliance and, knowing you, you won't rest until the other is seated on his rightful throne.” He gave her a sickening smirk. “And then there was your display. How you showed the entire multiverse how you'll answer injustice with justice and take down the tyrants with Fire and Blood. Forgive me for continuing the Targaryen theme, here.”

Addie simply stared at him. He was really going hard with the Game of Thrones references, wasn't he? “Are you saying I'm going to meet with a dreadful fate?”

Dwicky's smirk became much more disturbing, a madness in his eyes. “What I'm saying, little bird, is some people are going to watch that broadcast, and maybe they'll see a beacon of light that will come swooping in and free them from the monsters that have them in chains. But others?” He snickered. “They'll take one look at that footage and see nothing more than a threat to everything they hold dear.”

Addie couldn't help it. She snorted before laughing softly. “Oh, Dwight you ignorant slut,” she told him. Her gaze was fierce as she stepped toward him, leaning down to get right in his face. “You say that like that's not exactly what I'm counting on. Because if they're afraid of me, then everything they hold dear is everything I hate. I was born to topple corrupt empires and take down evil megalomaniacs. And you're right about one thing. You won't be the last.”

There was moment of silence as Addie's words hung in the air. She kept her gaze intense, a ferocious glare full of disdain.

Dwicky glared right back, gritting his teeth. They'd taken his metal arm while he was unconscious. Though there was plenty of temptation of strike her, he knew that he stood no chance against her right now. Which was fine. Let her believe she won. He would find a way out of this if it killed him.

Addie finally backed away, standing up straight. There was nothing more to say. This was over.

Except…

“Good luck at your trial tomorrow, Dwight,” Addie told him as she turned around the exit the cell. “Not that it will save you. I'm sure you and my uncle's father will be great friends in hell.”

And with that, she left.

[interrogatormentors]

Event Seven: Freezer Burn

Sleep came in fits and starts for the trainees, but they all snatched what little they could as their training continued. Despite this, they all spent the scant hour of free time the instructors allotted them in different ways. Zesaim studied, scouring books whose origins she refused to reveal for interrogation techniques. Rosmer baked in beakers, often coercing Sollux into using his psionics as a heat source. Ophlia worked out, Trisia ever by her side. Sollux himself dozed as he idly explored the limitations of his tablet, poking holes in the security to try and get his nose out for some news. Ualona often joined him, his maroon text a constant in the chat channels.

- actualizedClairvoyant [AC] has begun trolling twinArmageddons [TA]!-

AC: any progress on protecting a c-| |-annel? AC: avoiding mics is cool and all but w-| |-at if t-| |-ey are monitoring everyt-| |-ing we type? TA: no progre22 TA: they’re reportiing all thii2 2hiit two the empiire and the drone2ll be here iin liike two hour2 AC: D: TA: who do you fuckiing take me for ii’ve coded liike fiive proxiie2 iin the la2t ten miinute2 alone. AC: -| |-ell yeah! AC: so can you send me t-| |-at new installment of sunspots and starship -| |-eresy you found on the net t-| |-en because i kind of need somet-| |-ing to take my mind off tomorrow’s private training AC: i -| |-eard its gonna be some INTENSE friggin quizzes TA: god ii don’t want two enable you gettiing your globe2 off two helmiing porn you know that riight. AC: i mean AC: w-| |-en you put it t-| |-at way… TA: w/e iidgaf

-twinArmaggedons [TA] has sent file [kiinkyba2tard.xml]!-

TA: porn ii2n’t trea2on anyway we don’t need protected channel2 for that. TA: 2o who’2 goiing two be your traiiner tomorrow niight?? AC: that pozoia guy that oversees the p-| |-ysical training :[ AC: im freaking out!! -| |-es going to eat me alive! AC: w-| |-at about you? TA: rapard. AC: O-| |- S-| |-IT TA: w/e TA: he doe2n’t 2care me.

The next night when the morning alarms went off, however, Sollux hesitated as he squinted at his schedule for the day.

Sollux Captor: Report at Training Block A13 - Rapard - Dress Code: Swimwear

“Swimwear?” Zesaim’s puzzled voice came from her bunk just as Sollux read the words on his own schedule, and he looked over. “What happened to quizzes?”

“I don’t see how having a personal trainer’s going to help us swim better,” Sollux said, sitting up on the platform. “God, I don’t give a shit if I have to chase a wader through open sea, I’m drowning regardless.” He ducked, just in time to avoid a pillow getting thrown at him by Mercuo at terminal velocity. The seadweller glared at him from his bunk.

“You’ll need the fucking practice if you don’t want me to drown you,” Mercuo said, climbing down from his own bunk.

Sollux snorted, flicking Mercuo’s fin once with his psionics before stripping down. They filtered out to their assigned blocks after that, and it seemed the coolbloods didn’t receive any alteration to their dress codes for the day. Sollux found walking alone to a lesson disconcerting, and the halls seemed so much chillier and ominously dark without someone at his side. The faint fizzle of the lights above him served as the only background sound apart from the faint paps of his own bare feet on the metal tile.

He stopped in front of block A13 after a few minutes, looking up at the door. The metal seemed thick and reinforced, and a card reader sat adjacent to the heavy handle. A hand reached past Sollux, sliding a card into the reader and causing Sollux to jump. He hadn’t heard Rapard coming. “Quit flinching, helmbait,” Rapard said, hauling the door open. The door hissed, steam rushing out of the dark block in a billowing cloud. Sollux took a step, paused, and then moved forward only after Rapard shot him an unimpressed look.

The cold had given Sollux pause, an almost physical wall of frigid air that only intensified as the door behind him closed with a heavy thud. For a brief moment only the natural illumination from Sollux’s own eyes cast any sort of light, before a single, dim bulb on the ceiling flicked on. It didn’t really help. A metal chair stood fixed in the middle of the room, and Sollux felt a prickle of fear skitter up his spine as he spotted manacles on the armrests and near the legs. “What kind of quiz--”

“Emotional endurance is the topic today,” Rapard said. He gestured towards the chair, one eyebrow arching up. “I don’t have all night, recruit.”

Sollux gritted his teeth, glancing from the chair to the door and back again. Rapard stood between him and the door, and somehow he doubted he could overpower a fully matured seadweller in such a cold environment. Sollux’s own limbs felt stiff, and his teeth already chattered. He had his pride, but he also had an ounce of self-preservation in his bones. He sat down in the chair, jerking away too slow to avoid the manacles snapping shut around his wrists and ankles.

“I get the physical training, I get the mediculler shit, but what the fuck is up? Sir,” he added at the expression on Rapard’s face.

“How slow do I have to speak to drill something through your pan, recruit?” Rapard said, starting to pace, a shark circling through icy waters. “Welcome to emotional conditioning. The goal today is to learn control. The moment you emote, your quarry loses faith in your resolve to hurt them.” Rapard stopped off to Sollux’s left, shifting his weight from left to right before settling back on his heels. His expression remained as blank as ever. “This also serves as a practical demonstration of your schoolfeeding. Recap what you learned about temperature moderation and interrogation, grublet.”

Sollux took a breath, trying to settle the sparks already settling around his hornbeds that had triggered out of anxiety. “Temperature. Short-term temperature shifts out of habitable zones can lower reaction time and inhibitions. Long-term it can influence the immune system and wear a troll down.”

Rapard snorted, reaching into the breast pocket of his uniform and pulling out a small remote. He pressed a button, and fans lining the walls kicked on with a furious intensity. Sollux yelped, turning his face away from the sudden blast of cold air smacking against his face. “Temperature drop, two degrees,” Rapard said. “Watch those sparks-- I can read you like a fucking book. Get it together.” He started pacing again, and Sollux tried to resist the urge to follow his movements with his head. “What temperatures can the average lowblood withstand?”

“Average?” Sollux worried his lower lip with his teeth, scrambling to answer ahead of Rapard’s impatience. “Hypothermia takes place at an internal temperature of 97 degrees, and we can survive with an external temperature of 140 with enough water.”

The fans whirred again, and Sollux gritted his teeth. “Watch those ears,” Rapard said. “In the interrogatormentors, your emotions are a weakness. If you can’t turn them off like the husktop you are, then what use are you? You can’t be caught at the mercy of your own instincts.” He shook his head, still pacing in a wide circle around Sollux. “What will affect a lowblood’s internal temperature more, cold air or water?”

Sollux faltered, looking up to the fans. Well, that seemed like the proper answer right there. He couldn’t think straight, really, his thoughts coming to him in sluggish waves as he shivered in his bonds. A red light blinked in the corner of the room, a camera watching this entire affair. What did they even need this footage for? “Cold air,” he said finally.

Rapard hummed. “Interesting answer,” he said. “This isn’t about the immediate effect, this is a matter of thermodynamics.” An odd click came from above Sollux, and he looked up just in time for a set of freshly revealed nozzles protruding from the ceiling to unleash a deluge of icy water. Sollux sputtered, gasping and choking against the spray. The water left him a shuddering mess, each breath an agony stabbing into his lungs.

“I gffkfk- got it,” he said, coughing hard. “Cold. Cold’ssss good.” His lisp had worsened due to the chattering of his teeth, and he found himself biting his tongue more than once. “Fuck. Fuck.”

The fans came to life again, and Sollux screwed his eyes shut. “You’re cursing out of an emotional response,” Rapard said. Sollux felt cold hands grasp his jaw, and he peeled his eyes open to meet the seadweller’s own. “Turn off your emotions, brat.”

Sollux took a breath as Rapard released him, schooling his response back. He tried focusing inwards, fixating on the thought of warmth, of his bunk and fresh food and summer nights. Turn it off, turn it off, turn the emotions off, think of something else. His expressioned slackened, smoothing out into an expressionless mask despite the way his muscles spasmed due to the cold.

The quizzing continued from there, and Sollux did his best to answer each question thrown at him. The temperature kept dropping despite his efforts, until he felt icicles gathering in his nose and his eyes felt swollen from how much tears streamed down his cheeks from the cold. The lesson continued even after Sollux started hacking blood onto his legs and the floor, his entire body quaking. He couldn’t hear his own voice. He didn’t even know what he said in response to Rapard’s questions, and he knew at least half of his answers were unintelligible. He couldnt even begin to imagine what warmth felt like anymore.

Eventually Rapard looked at his watch and hit another button, and the manacles around Sollux’s limbs popped open. Sollux couldn’t have moved if he tried, and it took careful prying and warm water to loosen him from his quite literal frozen position in the chair. Sollux struggled to remain conscious as Rapard swung him over his shoulder, gasping as they emerged into the relative heat of the outside corridors.

Rapard deposited Sollux into a communal block, into a flock of suffering recruits. To the left side of the room, where Sollux tumbled onto the ground, lowbloods clustered around each other in bundles of blankets, heated mats underneath them. To the right, highbloods all seemed intent on drowning themselves in ice baths. Sollux couldn’t bring himself to move, and remained face down until he felt a blanket settling around his shoulders.

“Hey, Sparkles,” said a weak voice above him. Sollux looked up to see Trisia, her face flushed a brilliant teal and her dreadlocks hanging limply around her cheeks. “You look like shit.”

Sollux let out a ragged laugh, fingers curling around the edges of the blanket. “You do too. Did they stick you guys into an oven?”

He heard shuffling behind him then, and a sniffle. “I want to die,” Ualona said, voice very small. “They didn’t warn us it’d be like this. We’re the interrogatormentors, not- Why are they torturing us?”

The door opened again, revealing a petite purple with a massive collar of spikes framing the back of her head like a matured daywalker. She pushed a stumbling Ophlia into the room, tittering and wiping a little smear of purple from the corner of her own mouth before shutting the door. Sollux caught a glimpse of the back of her neck then, which revealed that the spikes were indeed protruding from her skin in a uniform circles of daywalker bruises along her spine. When Ophlia lifted her head, Sollux saw her ear was bleeding. Sollux swore, shivering. “This place is fucked.”

Trisia got up again, and Sollux heard her murmuring to Ophlia before supporting her up to an ice bath. Ualona scooted closer, and Sollux saw an ominous darkness to his nose and the edges of his fingers. “What did Rapard promise you?” he said.

Sollux tried to think of what Ualona meant, but nothing came to him. He only shrugged, his cheek pressed up against the floor. “Nothing. But I'm not waiting to find out what you're talking about,” he said. “Let the others know.” He closed his eyes. “We’re getting out of here.”

[firedingo]

A Not So Little Update Post On Life

So it’s been a while since I’ve done one of the blog posts. Not by choice though. Life has been hectic!

Dad

So one of the biggest changes for me has been walking into a full-time caring role for my father who is challenging at the best of times because he likes the world to operate on his terms and that’s not how life works. At times I struggle to get him to see the seriousness of his situation.

He has long term health issues which include chronic alcohol abuse leading to memory issues and seizures when he undergoes withdrawal. He’s also only partially compliant with taking his medication which leads to further issues.

On top of that he had a valve replaced a few years ago with a metal one which means his blood clotting level needs to be monitored regularly and at the moment he’s like a rollercoaster going between so thick it’s like cheese to so thin it’s like water.

It’s also not helped by the fact my father is also essentially homeless and couch surfing with friends and refusing to even entertain any option that would cost more than $100/week. He’s dreaming if he thinks he’ll find anything at that rate because he won’t but because a mate of his will charge him that much to sleep on his couch he now compares everything else to that -_-

Uni

The other big thing which I think I’ve mentioned before has been uni. I went back to study to finish off my bachelor of Information Technology off. I have about a year’s worth of work left but doing it at part-time rate since I’ve been caring for my father.

Passed 1 of 2 subjects last semester which was my first semester. Got an additional exam for the other subject. Missed passing the final exam by 8 marks which means no subject pass even though I have the marks to pass :(

Only doing one subject this semester but will sit two exams in exam period. The additional exam from last semester and the exam for this subject. I’m hoping I can do this. A touch anxious because despite dropping back to one subject I’m still struggling to find time thanks to my father.

So 2 weeks ago my father was admitted to hospital confused thinking it was 1999 again. I spent a week concerned about him. Then 2 days ago I was admitted briefly for a few hours.

Viral Illness

For the last 6 days I’ve been suffering what I think is just a common cold but it has beat the living crap out of me. On triage at the hospital I had a temperature of 38 degrees Celsius or 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit.

I was also highly dehydrated despite drinking perhaps 4 litres or more of water every day for the previous 4 days. Alas none of the water was being absorbed and was just passing through me.

I also had a heart rate of 130 beats per minute which is only like 40 more beats than I’d normally have.

So they started me on a bag of fluids and got me some pain relief for my throat which by this stage was making it all but impossible to swallow food or liquids. About 30 minutes into the bag of fluids they checked me again and my temperature had gone up to 39.1 degrees Celsius or 102.2 degrees Fahrenheit. Yikes! Another 30 minutes later and my temp was back at 38 degrees Celsius or 100.5 degrees Fahrenheit.

Then the lovely nurse I knew gave me some steroids to reduce the swelling in my throat and started some antibiotics to cover their butts in case bacterial(I don’t think it’s bacterial but anyway).

Quite a few people commented that the colour has returned to my face after the bag of fluids. I began to realise little things like the return of saliva generation, the reduction in my thirst desire which I’d just not really registered in the 4 days prior. I was drinking automatically when I needed it but not really registering I was thirsty.

After everything I felt a lot more alert and more like myself. I wasn’t shivering every 5 seconds too. Just before discharge they checked my obs again and temp was down to 37.2  I think degrees Celsius or 98.96 degrees Fahrenheit. I remember 37 point something at least. Almost normal as I think it’s 36.7 for normal. My heart rate came back from 130 beats per minute to 100 beats per minute which was much better too.

So as you can see I’ve had a hell of a week with a raging fever and cough and sore throat. On Tuesday evening I reckon I might have been a good 39 or even 40 degrees Celsius / 102.2 or even 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

So consequently I’m now so far behind on an assignment due this week. Hoping I’m granted special consideration for it. Between my dad last week and me this week I’ve been unable to work on it. It’s not hard but it will require a clear head and time neither of which I’ve been able to find.

Church & Christianity

Now the other big news. So I’m not sure if I’ve said it here or much here but I think it’s worth sharing.

So 7 and 3/4 months ago I started going to church with my neighbours. At first it was an exercise in curiosity and intellect. I learned heaps and found sooooooo many assumptions I’d made were sooooooooo wrong too.

Remember kids, Never Judge a Book By Its Cover! And that goes for the Holy Bible too!

Seriously though I’d never read it and made assumptions from what little I did know. I was made a fool of to myself for that. I was glad to know the truth first hand for myself.

What I never expected was to believe. In all this time I’ve been skeptical and questioned everything and you know what? It stacks up more than you might expect.

What has struck me the most is when you read through what Jesus went through in that final week leading up to his crucifixion. It becomes pretty clear that the horror of what is about to happen begins to really set in for Jesus.

Through Year 11 at high school I took Ancient History for a subject. I looked at Emperor Nero and the burning of Rome. Consequently I got to know Tacitus’s work very well and I quite respect him as a historian. He speaks about Jesus.

Tacitus was a Roman senator. He was born within a few years after Jesus’s death and he was no fan of Christians or Jesus and was VERY loyal to the Roman empire, yet he speaks with such confidence of the death of Jesus you have to ask why would he lie? To me this along with the likely medical evidence of what he went through says Jesus died on the cross.

It was a pretty gruesome death. He essentially suffocated to death in agonizing pain and according to the Bible he was fully conscious of what was happening until the last moment when he finally grew too weak to be able to inhale again.

So the striking bit, the striking bit is that despite all that, Jesus WILLINGLY went through it all. How many people can you say that would do that? That would suffer an unbelievably painful death to save another?

That’s such a profound love that it’s almost incomprehensible. We see mirrors of that behaviour in tragedies we experience. I think about the one of the cars that drove down one of the streets in Melbourne and people pushed others out of the way of the car to save them only to be collected themselves. That’s love, incredible love!

That’s why I so really.....well love this passage from Romans 5, because I think it captures the whole idea and act of love so well.

6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

- Romans 5 : 6 - 11

The other thing I never expected was to be poked back when I started poking Christianity. I can’t explain it.....or well I can’t scientifically explain it but when I pray God hears me and my prayers are answered.

Mental health

Getting to know Jesus and through Jesus God has been one of the best things for me. So the word Gospel means good news and truthfully this has been good news, this has been the best news of my life.

Quite literally it has saved my life. And I don’t mean like saved from being thrown into hell. I mean saved from taking my own life by suicide saved.

Before as readers should know, I had a pretty hopeless outlook on life. I would describe it as a nihilistic hoplessness because it really was that bad.

So I went to my church’s Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. The minister preaching then on Easter Sunday said “death removes the meaning from life”. It profoundly changed the way I looked at everything!

It all struck me and made sense to me on that Good Friday but it was Easter Sunday that transformed my life and filled me with hope.

Suddenly everything mattered in the light of the idea of eternal life. For you see even our greatest buildings will be consumed in more or less 1000 years. At that point what can we do that will last? Nothing!

But if we live after death then the most valuable thing we have is our relationships and how we treat other people.And that means what I do now will have a lasting impact because I will remember what I’ve done and so will they.

That means every action now has meaning, from something as simple as helping an elderly person reach something at the supermarket to how I speak about my life to other people.

I have begun to change in response to this too. Fear no longer rules my life.

I find that lots of the Bible is true, for example when Jesus says:

29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

- Matthew 11 : 29 - 30

I find that this is very true. The burden is far less than I put upon myself and I bear the world on my shoulders as the Titan Atlas did/does.

I have been so profoundly changed for the good by my belief I got baptized last Sunday. I froze my arse off too :P

Despite that it was a wonderful day and I want to share with all of you the profoundly good news and great gift I have found in Christianity and my church.

While I know not everyone is interested, can I encourage anyone who is to take a chance, to really go all in. Look at me, I tried to take my own life in the past twice no less and yet I have been given the greatest gift - a life of hope and love by daring to take a chance. If I can go from nihilistic hopelessness to a life of hope and love then why not give it a shot?

What’s the worst that can happen eh? Worst is that nothing changes but I think you’ll find more than that because there’s something about Christianity that’s beautiful and healing.

To give you some insight. I’ve been struggling with self-harm thoughts for a long time, more than a decade. The other night while I was very ill and not coping I had to deal with them again. I said no and pushed back against them. It’s the first time I said no and didn’t self-harm myself despite the thoughts.

I have changed. I have grown, I have healed and I am healing and I am loved and I love and I have hope and NONE of this would have been possible without church and Christianity. It’s truly profoundly changed my life for the better!

Game Jam & Closing Stuff

So as you can see my life has been hectic hey? I haven’t given up on video games either :D

I started having a crack at GMC Jam a few weeks ago but well dad ate my time up. I did get something started though. I should finish it though.

And yes that is a giant infinite column of spawning slimes :P

And yes I noticed my tiles needed a bit of adjusting and offsetting to make them a touch bit better but that’s cool. I was impressed I got like 4 variations with minimal work to add variety.

The player also animates just in a still image that’s hard to show.

Just been so stupidly busy I just haven’t had the time for video games! But I wanted to share some of my life and give a bit of an update on things because well it might be a while before I can get another one of these little......well not so little update posts out.

[poonyo]

Because I have absolutely zero restraint, have this au that literally nobody asked for.

No Man’s Land

There was smoke in the air.

Clouds of gas filled the atmosphere. They weren't harmful to inhale, save for the foul smell he supposed. He spotted a human or two coughing discreetly as they wiped their mouths with careful clenched fists.

Klaus sat in his post, lounging in the feel of destruction around him, high on the adrenaline of the last fight and the blood he'd consumed.

This little nifty piece of land on Belgium’s borders had been supposed to be quiet, tightly under control after the negotiations and the bloodbaths but the countries had been getting agitated lately, bits and pieces of the little towns no longer under control.

He rather liked the chaos of it all.

A cigarette was thrusted in front of him and he looked to where one of his fellow soldiers stood, holding it out.

“Your new patch coming in nicely?” he asked, but didn't  need a response, in the time he'd been assigned on the Western Front, Markus had never disappointed him with a poorly-rolled joint or a bad joke.

Should he survive what's left of the war, Klaus planned to turn him.

“Yeah, mate-”

A commotion, and both their heads turned to the left, curious about could possibly be happening.

Markus was the one to move.

“I'll go see what's going on.”

He watched as Markus slid in between a few men huddled together, replying teasingly to a lighthearted reprimand of ‘watch it’ and yelling at a loud rude exclaim of ‘hey, asshole’.

He chuckled, the lad would certainly make such a lively vampire, even if he was sure that with that loose tongue, Markus wouldn't last a century. Too temperamental and flirtatious, though one of those traits could help with extending his life if he'd be smart about it.

It took a few minute until Markus was back, looking a bit dazed and flushed, stumbling on a step and his breathing erratic, heartbeat hammering loudly.

Klaus raised his eyebrows at that; what could possibly be that striking that a seasoned soldier would be so thoroughly ruffled.

“Blimey,” Markus whispered. “She's here.”

A few minute passed and he grew impatient, snapping his fingers. Markus blinked twice, and Klaus plastered a questioning look on his face, wondering if he'd really have to rip out a spine to get a straight answer.

“Wonder Woman, mate. She's actually here.”

The response had him seeking out the commotion again.

He'd heard of her, of course he did. Wonder Woman, woman of wonder, no man's land crosser. News had  travelled fast of her setting Veld free and almost every soldier in the battalion worshipped the ground she walked on.

Admittedly, he was curious, to see what sort of witch had glamoured herself so, who'd risk possible exposure for temporary fame. A witch practicing the dark arts perhaps?

Or a martyr, probably, who thought of herself as some sort of hero to help the unfortunate.

He proceeded to stand, casting Markus an amused glance as he went at the utter look of disbelief on his face. It was much less of a struggle for him to part his way through the crowd, and he kept an eye for the first sign of someone different.

She was easy to spot, even with her back to him, her blonde hair spun in curls down her back, the floor length black cloak stark against the faded colours they all wore.

Someone called her name and she turned her head to the side, the curls floating around her in the motion. He completed the picture he was starting to form as he watched for every minute aspect, those cheekbones and that particular flush of cheeks, the shape of her lips, the side profile of her face.

He remained in his spot for a while, observing her as she talked and smiled briefly to one of the refugees they'd rescued the other day, the town she was from much like Veld had been, filled by enemy soldiers and currently out of their reach.

He listened to how she talked noting the bit of pronounced accent to her words, some consonants heavier on her tongue than others.

Klaus waited until she finished her conversation, before approaching her in careful steps.

“Hello.”

She didn't startle like he expected her to, simply spun around to face him with a pleasant look. It Was all he needed to acutely take in every single detail and feature as he took notice of the golden diadem encircling her forehead.

Interesting.

“Hello,” she returned.

He extended his hands forward for her to shake, “Klaus.”

There was no spark of recognition in her eyes as he said his name and he tried to quell the irritation he feels. Her lack of fear was a simple issue to solve, there had been so many covens slaughtered across the years by his hands, all he had to do was simply mention a name and he’d begin having his fun with this meddlesome witch.

She placed her hand in his, and his fingers shuddered as he felt something like a jolt run across his spine, it was not magic, not at all, simply pure lightning in his veins. He gripped her hand tighter, shook it firmly as he pondered on all the possibilities of what this could possibly mean.

“Caroline.”

She was staring at him with opening curiosity and he allowed himself to do the same. She didn't feel like witches, there was no mystical aura, no touch of the Earth to her.

Just pure power.

She felt old, possibly more so than him.

Who was she?

An interruption came in the form of “Gorgeous!” a masculine voice calling from a distance.

His eyebrows shot up, wondering who'd be stupid enough to catcall a woman they'd heard had fought an entire garrison by herself. Caroline, though, didn't seem to be angry, only rolled her eyes with the vague sort of irritation he'd usually experience around Kol.

The man came towards them, almost sprinting. Klaus stifled his snort as he recognised the scent of baby vampire. The lad appeared to recognise him, his age, too, slowing down as he neared but not stopping, staring at him warily as he stood besides Caroline.

“An admirer?” The question was tentative but not shaky. He had to command the man, his voice was no less strong than it had been mere seconds ago even though Klaus knew his instincts were screaming at him to flee.

“Enzo,” she said, then gestured towards himself. “Klaus.”

There was a small glimmer of shock before that quickly faded, and Klaus gave a mocking tilt of his head, pleased at the flash of fear.

“Pleasure,” Enzo said.

A predator’s grin as he replied, “likewise, I'm sure.”

Caroline looked at him then at her companion with narrowed eyes. “Are all your kind so irritating?”

Enzo opened his mouth to talk but he beat him to it.

“My-my, been spilling our secrets, have you, Enzo?”

The vampire was non-pulsed at the threat in his tone, barely even shifting in his stance. “I’d no choice in the matter,” he spoke with a significant glance at Caroline.

She only shrugged her shoulders in response, “you were uncooperative.”

“Yes, I do recall something of the sort but luckily your people didn't seem to find that to be much of a hindrance. Must be nice to have something on hand that solves a problem of that kind so fast.”

Caroline gave a bright smile, the edges to it teasing, “it is.”

Enzo rolled his eyes.

He suspected it was Caroline's influence at work.

“What did the sergeant say?” she asked after a beat of silence.

“They've been watching the town for days, had a plan to march in it later this week after they get some reinforcements but the sergeant is willing to fight today if he's getting your help.”

Relief filled her face as she breathed once and grinned, “that's wonderful news.”

He couldn't help but interject. “Eager to play the hero, love?”

His jab didn't give him quite the reaction he'd hoped for, only a flat look as she whirled around, curls a golden cascade around her, burning like a furious sun. Enzo remained for one more moment, cautious of giving his back to the monster Klaus was, before inevitably following Caroline.

Well, it was a relief to see that there were still an abundance of smart youth for him to have his fun with. Even if they were easily broken.

“So what's our strategy?” Klaus heard Enzo whispering to Caroline. “Just freeing towns as we go?”

“That's the best course of action, Ares will not tolerate any meddling with his war. He will wish to destroy the cause of disruption and find us, then I shall be able to kill him and fulfill the Amazons’ duty, putting a stop to all this misery. ”

Ares?

Enzo hummed in agreement, “as long as there's murder, I'm in.”

His mind spun at what they were saying, the seeds of intrigue too strong for him to resist. They were speaking of ancient creatures humanity hadn't uttered a word of in centuries beyond the tales of poetry and the small devoted groups scattered across the Earth.

And here Caroline was, with her lightning struck fingers seeking to end one of them.

It was far too good of an adventure, an opportunity, for him to resist.

Klaus sped his footsteps, until he was walking besides Caroline and her companion, enjoying the way Enzo’ eyes closed with resignation, as if he knew what Klaus was going to do.

“Would you be open for a helping hand, sweetheart?”

Caroline stopped in her tracks, her gaze scrutinising. “You want to assist me in my mission?”

His lips curled slowly, “I'd be more than thrilled to.”

She sighed, “For the murder.”

He suppressed a laugh at how dry her tone was, guessing that the baby vampire had been making constant jokes about it. “There's plenty of corpses to suit my fancy here, love. Your expedition is hardly attractive in that aspect.”

She tensed, jaws clenching together, “then what for?”

Klaus pursed his lips, stepping closer as he teasingly said, “adventure.”

Caroline didn't immediately answer, tilting her head to the side. He could see the gears working in her eyes as she weighed the pros and cons.

“You're old,” she stated. “I've felt it. You know the land better than most and I do need someone who've lived on this side of Earth for long.”

He almost smirked in triumph.

She did not appear to be finished, for she too took one step nearer, the hands on her hips making the edges of the cloak seperate to give him view for the armour underneath, “So help me, Klaus, endanger my mission in any way and the wrath of all the Amazons themselves will seem like mercy.”

He spotted the sword strapped to her side, the golden rope that shimmered under the peaking light, and bowed his head with a smile.

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

[keets-writing-corner]

Flaws VS Struggles

Includes minor mentions of

Toy Story

Happy Feet

If you remember, I mentioned in Intro to Character that Flaws and Struggles were frequently confused, and yet both essential for characters. This took a while to get out, but here we go, Flaws VS Struggle and what’s the difference.

Flaws

Ah yes yes. All characters need flaws, but again, Flaws are often confused with Struggle. Unlike Struggle, Flaws are completely static and do not change. They work directly with Strengths. Let’s look at two real life examples.

Extroversion. Known to be outgoing, high level of energy, social, friendly, aka what society usually favors over Introversion. Strengths include again, social, friendly, talkative, which means they’re probably great at working in groups, don’t generally keep information about themselves bottled up and are able to share, and even leaving better first impressions. Now let’s look on the flip side. If people with high extroversion are highly sociable, then they likely don’t like being alone or working alone. If they’re talkative, it could very well be that they don’t know when to stop talking, talk at the wrong times, or even talk over quieter voices in a conversation.

Now let’s look at introversion. This is the opposite of extroversion. Highly extroverted people seek company because that’s where they get their energy. Highly introverted people seek solitude because they get their energy from being alone. Introverts are known for being quiet and alone. Introversion strengths include being creative, being able to work well alone, introspective, being more analytical about the world around them, and oftentimes empathetic. Flaws of introversion include being unable to speak up to contribute an idea in company of louder people, being overly stimulated in large crowds which leads to energy drainage and need to recharge.

You can’t “fix” a person’s introversion or extroversion, it’s just how they are, and how they function. This is how flaws work. Everything in life has a cost, a flip end to it, and the Flaw is just the cost of the Strength. This also applies to physical strengths and weaknesses.

Let me offer a more personal example, on the extreme end of flaw (as in, I’ll be providing an example of something that has a lot more flaws than strengths to it). I have a blood disorder known as Thalassemia Beta Minor. What does this mean for me? At the very basicness of it, it means I’m chronically anemic, aka I get tired faster, and for longer than the average person. This means I have a hard time keeping up with people when it comes to physical activities. I can’t run for as long as most people, an entire day of work will wear me out faster than everyone else, and I’ll be sleepier a lot more often, bordering on mild narcoleptic symptoms. You know what else this means? I have low blood pressure. Sounds great in a world where high blood pressure is a frequent concern, but low blood pressure also has its cost. For one, I get cold a lot faster than everyone else, and it’s hard to warm back up (aka I’m completely intolerant to cold). Also, I’ve passed out before because I stood up too quickly, I always need to watch how slowly I stand up. It’s not the worse disorder a person can have, but definitely annoying. However, it does come with one GIANT perk. I can’t get malaria.

That’s right. You heard me. I can’t get malaria. My blood cells don’t live long enough for the malaria eggs to incubate and hatch, and so they die with my cells.

Similar to “internal” Strengths/Flaws, there’s no really fixing physical Strengths/Flaws either. They’re just kind of there, and it’s up to the character to figure out how to use it.

Now because there’s the whole “CHARACTERS MUST BE FLAWED” thing going around, this will sometimes lead to characters being randomly assigned flaws with no good reason behind them, and will at best be completely unnatural and forced. I will say this once, and probably many times again, but here we go: FORCING THINGS ONTO CHARACTERS IS UNNATURAL AND LEADS TO POOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Characters should NEVER have flaws forced upon them for the sake of having flaws. Aka, forcing a character to “be bad at math” for no other reason other than “they need a flaw” is an empty excuse. Why is a character bad at math? Is their brain just on the more creative side of things? It’s more natural and easier to observe a character’s strengths (which seems to be the first thing they get upon creation) and then look at the flip side of that strength.

Struggle

Now let’s look at my favorite (and arguably most important) part of characters, their struggle, and why it’s different from flaws. For starters, struggles are overcome-able unlike flaws which are static. Many stories deal with characters growing and overcoming their struggle. Tragedies are when characters cannot overcome them, and instead succumb to them. Aka, NOT A CHARACTER’S “FATAL FLAW”. A Flaw is a character’s feature, tangent with their strength, a Struggle causes them trouble. The other really important aspect of Struggle? It’s emotionally charged, Struggles make characters experience emotions, often painful ones.

Everyone loves seeing characters struggle because that’s what life is about, struggling, and overcoming them. Struggling is what makes the story real, no matter how many unicorns, and space monsters are in there. Struggles are the fastest ways for audiences to connect with characters, especially if they’ve struggled with what the character has too. There’s a reason that many heroes are orphaned, because loss, or fear of loss, is a universal experience, and immediately endears the heroes to the audience.

And the best part about Struggle? It can be anything. Now, again, *grabs megaphone* DO NOT FORCE A STRUGGLE ONTO A CHARACTER JUST BECAUSE THEY NEED TO STRUGGLE. Look at a character’s story, what makes sense for them to struggle with? For example, say a character experienced a death, now they’re struggling with grief and loss, and everything that comes with it. And here’s the thing about struggling, sometimes, it can’t be overcome, you have to learn to live with it, but it’ll still cause you trouble, like grief. Of course, when I say Struggle can be anything, I mean, it can literally be anything, and consequently has many different categories (and fret not friends! While I’m only glossing over this stuff here, I do have many posts planned for exploring Struggles!)

There are Struggles like Anxieties, Being Different, Grief, Mental Disorders, or even Medical Conditions, these are more about overcoming feelings and emotions pertaining to these struggles, rather than making sure these struggles are solved. (Note 1: Anxiety is a fickle line here, on the one hand, with proper therapy and or character development, it can be overcome, on the other hand it’s still overcome through dealing with the emotions pertaining to it that it still ties in with these guys) (Note 2: Notice that my blood disorder could fall in here, if it’s existence caused me anguish, or negative emotions, which would make it a physical flaw and a struggle. AKA, a flaw can contribute to a struggle. However, I couldn’t care less about my blood disorder and just kinda deal with it at face value, which means I do not Struggle with it).

There are Struggles like having goals, facing obstacles, being bullied. These Struggles are the ones that the source must be overcome in order to overcome the feelings that come with it.

And then, there’s Struggle’s little sister

Immaturity

Immaturity is an off-branch of Struggle. It happens often enough in stories, and is different enough from Struggles and Flaws that I feel like it qualifies as its own thing, while still belonging to both groups (closer to Struggle than Flaw in my opinion, but a case can be made for it belonging more to Flaw). Immaturity is like Struggle in that it’s one of the best and easiest ways characters show growth through overcoming it, but it’s like Flaw because usually it’s not something that actively bothers the character, or a problem they might even realize they have.

When I say Immaturity, I’m not talking about day-dreaming about castles in clouds, laughing at anything related to butts and armpits, and just overall cliché, childish things, because those are usually unique to children (*coughs* usually). When I say Immaturity, I’m talking about traits that show a person’s maturity (“No duh keet”). Aka, a child can be mature and still have childish traits, while an adult can be immature with no childish traits. Confused?

Immaturity in this sense is: Pride, Arrogance, Greed, Self-Righteousness, feeling of Entitlement, Selfishness, Prone to Tantrum/Anger, and Lack of Understanding of Emotions (for self and/or others) to name a few. Easier to understand now how an adult can be immature but not childish, while a child can be mature but childish?

Immaturity is usually where a character experiences growth. Struggle is akin to overcoming, while Immaturity is akin to growth and development. All people (and to an extent all characters) are immature to different degrees. Some people might be more mature than others, but everyone’s got room to grow no matter how mature one is.

Let’s go back to my quick mention of Woody from Toy Story in my Intro to Character post. In the first movie, Woody is selfish and jealous of Buzz. By Toy Story 2, they’re good friends, and the jealousy is gone. Woody matured throughout the movie, and out-grew these traits. Most of Woody’s actual struggles were just obstacles in the way of getting home, and of getting what he wanted. Pixar movies tend to focus a lot more on maturity and immaturity than they do on internal struggles. Which is neither good nor bad (honestly, quite important in this day and age), it’s just how they feel is the best way to tell their stories.

Let’s look at a different movie in which it’s not the main character’s job to mature, but everyone else’s. Happy Feet. Mumble is a remarkably mature character. He is selfless, polite, humble, not vengeful, and overall just a delight to be around. He struggles with being very different from his society who keeps demanding he conform. It’s his society that learns to mature throughout the course of the movie and be more open-minded.

There are multiple ways to use both Immaturity and Struggle in differently, and no single way is the right way. They are also so closely related, that it can be confusing to work with them, and oftentimes is easier to just pick one and stick with it. However, working with both together can lead to a truly powerful character.

[beanjuice-duh]

Asexual!Mads x Troubled!Burr

James Madison is an affection asexual man who finds it increasingly annoying that his best friend doesn’t quite grasp the concept of love with little to no lust involved. Aaron Burr is a struggling prodigy trying to keep his legacy afloat meanwhile watching everyone leap hurdles and go beyond his own limitations. They need some snugs. ___________________________________ “Aw Jemmy has been on the phone all day~ Did you finally get yourself a little side piece” Thomas rubbed his scruff cheek against Madison who was unphased. “Seriously you’ve been sitting there for so long, Sally and I already finished up in the bedroom and you’re still planted.” Usually Madison would leave when his best friend and roommate would have his romantic advances. However this time he was glued to his phone, waiting, texting, waiting some more. Thomas was growing a little suspicious, it was cute at first but Madison had literally stopped moving and now he was getting concerned. “Earth to James Madison.” “I am waiting for my partner to text me, we were going to meet up so we can work on our project.” He finally responded, he had sent Aaron Burr several messages. Some over facebook, some over text messages, now he was ready to call him, he glanced at Thomas’s face and there was a blank expression in his eyes. “The political economics project…for Washington? We’re supposed to have a fully drafted thesis and a presentation. Don’t tell me you forgot.” James was often paired with Thomas he knew that Jefferson had a tendency to fall out of focus. “Oh.” Thomas made a stranger face, as if he was more confused. “You didn’t finish it yet?” Madison was a hard worker; he would have assumed an assignment they were given a few days ago would have long been checked off his to-do list. “damn…” “What do you mean, ‘you didn’t finish it yet?’” Madison placed his phone down and crossed his arms, Thomas had his full attention. “Don’t tell me you made Hamilton do all the work…” There was no way Thomas and Alexander finished their project. They spent half the class ignoring each other and the other half heatedly debating each other over the professor. No, no way. “No. If you must know, Hamilton and I worked separately, then he came to me with, BEGGED me to read over his work so I gave him mine, we exchanged some stuff…he wanted to write it all himself and I was not about to let that nugget of a kid write over my words. So we ended up finishing the project in one night.” He shrugged, they got carried away but at least it was the longest time they were silent and not thinking about murdering the other. “Who is your partner again?” “Burr.” Madison spoke, internally in shock that Jefferson and Hamilton worked together and didn’t cause some nuclear explosion. He supposed in times like this, both men were professionals. “Yea…who dat?” He rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t’ ring a bell, he’s in our class?” Thomas couldn’t even put a face to the name. “Aaron.” Madison tried first name and still Thomas was shaking his head. “Aaron Burr? Dean’s list? Mom was a former Dean of the school before she died? Entirely family has gone to the same university? We have nearly every Washington taught class with him and Hamilton?” Still nothing, Madison couldn’t blame him. He honestly didn’t think much of Burr until they were paired up. He never debated or participated. When he did it was usually in agreement with another statement, piggybacking on the words of someone else. He never really made an impression other than he was present. “Anyway I know where lives we swapped addresses so I’ll stop by. The project is due in three days by midnight and we haven’t even thought of a thesis.” “Rooough, first time you’re not paired with me and you’re still gonna do all the work~” Thomas laughed at him, though it was the first time he, himself, was paired with someone new and he ended up doing more work than he was used to. It was a nice challenge though. “You could stick around, Sally and I are going for round deux and I don’t mind swingin’” He wiggled his eyebrow. Madison’s face was stoic; Jefferson knew well Madison wasn’t into threesomes or any somes. “That’s gay Thomas.” He walked out the door while Thomas yelled rationales why his invitation wasn’t gay at all. It was the first time; Thomas usually made invitations to test this ‘asexuality’ Madison labeled himself as. He knew Thomas could be insensitive but he was persistent. There were questions about masturbation, about loneliness, about ‘maybe you just haven’t tried hard enough’. It wasn’t a matter of trying, it was mentality. Madison knew himself like he knew that the bus he was boarding was going to take him a few blocks towards Burr’s place. He knew that what he felt wasn’t a dysfunction or a lack of effort, it was simply who he was. He wasn’t a cold person…though he was a person who suffered from getting many colds. He was opinionated and polite but he was also affectionate, he enjoyed being around people he cared about. He didn’t see why if he cared about someone there had to be a bed involved. He didn’t feel the urge or need to, as for boners, those were moments of stress relief, and they came and went less than often. And he wasn’t sitting there imagining anyone; it would be like assuming cracking knuckles came with imagining yourself punching someone in the face. Though…Thomas was right, it was rough. There were few people who wanted to really get to know Madison on that companion level if sex wasn’t on the table. He had many uncomfortable meetings with women who were at first delighted at his declaration but also disappointed after a while that it wasn’t an act of chivalry. Then the more awkward, taking it ‘personal’ that he didn’t want to. Where was this pressure to be a man and be good at bedding people? James didn’t know how deeply this all bothered him until he nearly missed the stop. Last second he ran to the front of the bus and darted out, the cold air squeezed his lungs and he started to cough. He walked a few blocks and stopped at Burr’s apartment. He double checked the information they swapped the moment they were paired up and walked up to the door. Like most apartments in New York City the door was broken and no need to buzz in. Madison just waltzed in and found his door number giving it a nice hard knock. He was annoyed, at Thomas for triggering him, at Burr for ghosting him, and at Hamilton for turning his friend into a hard worker. Something Madison couldn’t do even with all the Mac and cheese in the world. He waited, coughing loudly now and still nothing. “Burr are you home!” He called, cupping his mouth so his voice would echo a bit. He slammed his fist against the door again and it opened up, in mid knock. He looked up and Burr’s face was disgruntled. It was unnerving, from what he did remember of their meeting Burr was smiley and all too agreeable. Now he was starting a blood shot, sneering, angry man with tear stains down his hollowed face. “What are you doing here?” he tried to compose himself, was he actually trying to smile? He clearly didn’t look like he should be smiling but he forced it, the his lips trembled into the most half assed smile he’s seen. “…project is due soon and we haven’t met up once.” He spoke. “Alexander and Thomas already finished theirs, I figure it was a sign we should get to it…but..” if this was bad time perhaps Madison should go. He felt…strange being here while Burr seemed so disheveled. Without speaking Burr opened the door more and motioned him in. James took a step in and debated going further…his mind reminded him he had work to do so he kept stepping in. Once he was fully in he started coughing, there was a heavy scent of tobacco looming in the air like a blanket and his lungs were not in a battle with his body. “Sorry. Sorry” Burr muttered as he shuffled towards a window. Madison took in the place while he was walking in more. The apartment was nice, well decorated, flowers in vases (hopefully fake or else Madison was going to start sneezing on top of his wheezing), paintings, books, expensive rugs…so why did Burr not look the part. He was used to seeing Burr well dressed and crisp with a smile. Now he was wearing a wife beater tank top and sweatpants, his posture was all wrong. What happened to him in the span of a few days? “Burr…” He croaked getting a small chilled breeze from the outside now that the window was open. He had some clean air to try and speak with. “Where have you been?” That southern sass came out now that he was fully aware something was wrong. “I’m not one to pry where I shouldn’t” Madison liked his simple life where the only outrageous thing in his life was Thomas and …that was more than enough. “but we have a very serious project so if you’re not committed, say the word, I am more than happy to do it and put both of our names on the paper.” He started speaking, just say yes, was all he could think. Burr would give him the ok, he could leave and save himself anymore turmoil in one night. Aaron looked at him with eyes that were half lidded and empty, wetness gathered around the corners, his face still trying to keep that stupid smile in place while he said nothing. Madison was ready to leave, if Burr wasn’t going to give him an explanation or start working then he’d just go. Madison turned his body around when he heard Burr mumble. “…she’s gone…” He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm so roughly Madison was concerned that he was going to push his eyeballs back into his sockets. James might have been without lust but he was not out of emotion. He sat down on the couch near the window letting the clean air cleanse his weak lungs. “Who?” He knew this look once before. Thomas had it after Martha died, tragic, now Thomas had problems keeping a real, meaningful relationship without having the guilt of Martha’s death drive him over the wall. James knew well how to combat grief. “My wife.” Madison looked side to side. “Y…you were married?” Not that it was unheard of, just…he never heard Burr mention the girl. When Thomas met Martha in high school it was nothing but Martha. Now that he was screwing Sally it was nothing but Sally. Hamilton often spoke warmly of his affections towards anyone he regarded close. Burr? Not once did he speak of a woman, not at lunch, not before, during or after class. Just…nothing. Come to think of it, now that Madison was getting a good look at Burr, he didn’t even see a wedding ring. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Burr looked up at Madison with a half smile, it was almost as sad as his wet eyes. “She left me.” “Oh …shit..” This was a miscalculation, abort, eject, and open the window more. “That…that’s rough.” Madison coined Jefferson’s comment from earlier; he was out of words to use. This was not good at, relationships… Seeing how it was hard for him to even begin one he had no idea how to mend one. “If this is a bad time maybe I should go…” “Go ahead…” He motioned towards the door. “Not like it stopped her…” Madison was about to move but suddenly something popped in Burr, like he couldn’t hold it anymore. He couldn’t just smile and keep quiet. “I waited for her, waited for her to come to me and she ups and leaves. Yes I’ve been busy; I’ve been working hard…and for what? Hamilton gets all the recognition in class. Jefferson is second, Washington barely even sees me. Here am I. I sit, and wait, and study and work hard and here I am…with nothing to show for it.” He placed his hand over his mouth and looked off beyond the line of his sight. He was watching his entire life, everything his parents left him, every ideal he ever built for himself trickle away into obscurity. Just as he felt like his world was finally crashing in on him he felt a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I thought you were leaving…” He tried to compose himself but Madison spoke now. “I know…” He nodded. “The feeling…I stand by Jefferson and you think anyone sees me? The man walks in his all magenta get up and makes himself louder than the opposition and forget if Hamilton is there. There is not getting a word in…so the spotlight doesn’t shine on us…that doesn’t mean we don’t do our part…that doesn’t mean you’re not important in there.” Madison took his hand back. “Washington always said work as though history has its eye on you. The difference you make…you’re making a difference Burr. When I started my first semester, Jefferson was gone. I took on a double major, I worked with Hamilton and wrote 29 different papers. I worked myself every day and night and one day I realized Hamilton wrote nearly double of what I did…and his stride wasn’t affected. His health was fine…me? I was riding the line of breaking down.” This was something he never told Jefferson. He didn’t want Thomas to feel like he couldn’t leave Madison alone, plus Martha passed…it was just the wrong time to be open with him. “When I saw him thriving like that and here I was miles behind barely breathing. I nearly lost it. I tossed my laptop out of a window, had a full break down, and cried it out. And I realized I was alone.” He sat down beside Burr. “it wasn’t easy…come out of it afterwards…it was a lot of telling myself little things at first like, maybe two majors is too much. Maybe working with Hamilton was too much, and comparing yourself. I started to remember the things that made me who I am. That with all the sick days I still manage to be an honor student. With all my allergies I managed to be alive. Out of all my siblings I’m the one at a prestigious university doing something that isn’t farming.” Madison smiled a little. “Remember the person you are, logically, of course there is always someone better…and perhaps waiting around and not taking action is not always the best but that is who you are. You’re still a prodigy…son of a genius, honor student not to mention you were Hamilton’s mentor for the beginning of the semester. Consider his success some of yours too…and…” He paused when he felt a little pressure on his shoulder. He glanced down and noticed Burr was leaning on him. Madison wasn’t sure what to make of this…he felt his face heat up a little. So this was comforting? Thomas didn’t like to be held when he was sad, he got aggressive took it out on whoever he was sleeping with. He’d only talk to James after he calmed himself. It was nice being needed…in a way James could relate to. He felt Burr shake against his shoulder. Cry it out, Madison thought to himself. He moved his body and adjusted himself so Burr was leaning on his broad, stout chest. Madison patted the back of his head. The room didn’t smell so foul…he wasn’t worried about the project anymore. “If you need someone to talk to…maybe not about your wife…but…other things. You have my number now and my address…feel free to call or drop by.” James felt Aaron nod his head slowly, he leaned on Madison for a bit longer, crying for minutes, nearly an hour straight. When he finally stopped, Burr felt strangely at ease. The weight he had learned to smile over was lifted for the first time, his body actually ached like it had been sore from carrying something. He also realized Madison was strangely comfortable for a short…and broad man. He was firm enough where he wasn’t being pushed by the weight of Burr’s body but soft where he almost sank into him like a pillow. Warm…and slight smell of menthol. “You smell like Vics.” Burr finally croaked in a voice thick from sobbing. “Its nice.” He chuckled softly and softly sighed. “This is nice…thank you for staying.” “Anytime Burr…” He held him. This was something he lacked, he craved to be held and needed in just this way. No strings, no teases, no wondering if he had to have that talk explaining himself. There was nothing to this, it was simple. He was here, Burr was here, they were here. “…seriously we need to work on the project. We have to finish.” It dawned on him he was here and nothing was being done. Aaron just laughed a bit and nodded. “I’ll get my laptop, stay the night. Its already pretty late.” He made a motion to get up. Something James didn’t like but staying the night…that was invitation he heard before. “The couch pulls out into a bed…here is a second room if you want that.”

Relief, Madison nodded. He watched Aaron walk away from him and come back with his laptop and a few of his papers. “Notes, we can work on a thesis and use notes as one of our references.” “Reasonable.” James nodded , he slid close to Burr working with him and his laptop building a mock political write up plan for their economics class. It went smoother than when he worked with Thomas. Burr listened, waited, he gave his input and encouraged things and the silence between them wasn’t awkward. Madison yawned a little, Burr followed with a louder one as they worked for a few hours. Somewhere between reading the notes and listening to Burr type, James was lulled to sleep by the sound of the clacking… Skip______ Morning rolled around and Madison, an early riser, stirred. He was laying on the couch horizontally. When he opened his eyes he found he was staring at the back of Burr’s head. He too was sleeping beside him, an inch or so of space. His face was glowing; he felt an intimacy in his heart. Not the kind Thomas talked about, he didn’t feel the need to whisk Burr away but to hold him again like last night and protect the older man from his own demons. James reached out and went to touch the back of Burr’s head when he got a whiff of the couch which absorbed most of the cigarette scent and sneezed. His eyes were huge with horror as Burr clearly tensed at the feeling of being sneezed on. Good work James. You just sneezed on a man. Burr turned his head and to his surprised he didn’t look offended, his eyes were half lidded with sleep and his smile soft, casual and unlike last night genuinely entertained. “That is one way to say good morning.” He sat up, stretching a bit. “Sorry…you feel asleep and I kept working. I must have fallen asleep too…you looked comfy…” He admitted and also admitting…Madison brought certain calm to his chest and mind he hadn’t known. He was afraid the thoughts would come back if he left Madison’s calm aura. James merely nodded and sat up slowly. “Breakfast?” “Excuse me?” James looked at Burr who was smiling a little wider at him. “Do you want breakfast, James?” James felt his heart flutter. Why? Because someone wanted to cook him breakfast, and someone wanted to be around him for the first time? Someone who wasn’t obligated by years of friendship? Yes. “I’ve got a delicate appetite…various allergies…eggs, gluten, lactose…certain fruits and sugars…” “Try me~” Burr’s voice took a playful tone that disarmed him. Madison sat there, cheeks glowing while Burr made his way to the kitchen. “Are you joining me in here?” He called out again and James immediately stood and joined him. _________________________________________ I had fun, this was fun. I really like Burr and Madison. Cute, anxious sidekicks.

:)<

[lesbianrewrites]

Blood of Olympus - Chapter 50

*disclaimer* This is a project done for fun, and none of these characters/works belong to me. I do not claim to own any of the material on this page. This is a Lesbian edit of The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan. Chapters will be posted every day at 10am EST. Google doc version can be found here. The chapter can also be found under the cut. Enjoy!

NOTHING WAS LEFT OF THE GIANTS except heaps of ash, a few spears and some burning dreadlocks.

The Argo II was still aloft, barely, moored to the top of the Parthenon. Half the ship’s oars were broken off or tangled. Smoke streamed from several large splits in the hull. The sails were peppered with burning holes.

Lorena looked almost as bad. She stood in the midst of the temple with the other crewmembers, her face covered in soot, her clothes smouldering.

The gods fanned out in a semicircle as Zeus approached. None of them seemed particularly joyful about their victory.

Apollo and Artemis stood together in the shadow of a column, as if trying to hide. Hera and Poseidon were having an intense discussion with another goddess in green and gold robes – perhaps Demeter. Nike tried to put a golden laurel wreath on Hecate’s head, but the goddess of magic swatted it away. Hermes sneaked close to Athena, attempting to put his arm around her. Athena turned her aegis shield his way and Hermes scuffled off.

The only Olympian who seemed in a good mood was Ares. He laughed and pantomimed gutting an enemy while Frances listened, her expression polite but queasy.

‘Brethren,’ Zeus said, ‘we are healed, thanks to the work of these demigods. The Athena Parthenos, which once stood in this temple, now stands at Camp Half-Blood. It has united our offspring, and thus our own essences.’

‘Lord Zeus,’ Piper spoke up, ‘is Reyna okay? Nicola and Coach Hedge?’

Jessica couldn’t quite believe Piper was asking after Reyna’s health, but it made her glad.

Zeus knitted his cloud-coloured eyebrows. ‘They succeeded in their mission. As of this moment they are alive. Whether or not they are okay –’

‘There is still work to be done,’ Queen Hera interrupted. She spread her arms like she wanted a group hug. ‘But my heroes … you have triumphed over the giants as I knew you would. My plan succeeded beautifully.’

Zeus turned on his wife. Thunder shook the Acropolis. ‘Hera, do not dare take credit! You have caused at least as many problems as you’ve fixed!’

The queen of heaven blanched. ‘Husband, surely you see now – this was the only way.’

‘There is never only one way!’ Zeus bellowed. ‘That is why there are three Fates, not one. Is this not so?’

By the ruins of the giant king’s throne, the three old ladies silently bowed their heads in recognition. Jessica noticed that the other gods stayed well away from the Fates and their gleaming brass clubs.

‘Please, husband.’ Hera tried for a smile, but she was so clearly frightened that Jessica almost felt sorry for her. ‘I only did what I –’

‘Silence!’ Zeus snapped. ‘You disobeyed my orders. Nevertheless … I recognize that you acted with honest intentions. The valour of these seven heroes has proven that you were not entirely without wisdom.’

Hera looked like she wanted to argue, but she kept her mouth shut.

‘Apollo, however …’ Zeus glared into the shadows where the twins were standing. ‘My son, come here.’

Apollo inched forward like he was walking the plank. He looked so much like a teenage demigod it was unnerving – no more than seventeen, wearing jeans and a Camp Half-Blood T-shirt, with a bow over his shoulder and a sword at his belt. With his tousled blond hair and blue eyes, he might’ve been Jessica’s brother on the mortal side as well as the godly side.

Jessica wondered if Apollo had assumed this form to be inconspicuous, or to look pitiable to his father. The fear in Apollo’s face certainly looked real, and also very human.

The Three Fates gathered around the god, circling him, their withered hands raised.

‘Twice you have defied me,’ Zeus said.

Apollo moistened his lips. ‘My – my lord –’

‘You neglected your duties. You succumbed to flattery and vanity. You encouraged your descendant Octavian to follow his dangerous path, and you prematurely revealed a prophecy that may yet destroy us all.’

‘But –’

‘Enough!’ Zeus boomed. ‘We will speak of your punishment later. For now, you will wait on Olympus.’

Zeus flicked his hand, and Apollo turned into a cloud of glitter. The Fates swirled around him, dissolving into air, and the glittery whirlwind shot into the sky.

‘What will happen to him?’ Jessica asked.

The gods stared at her, but Jessica didn’t care. Having actually met Zeus, she had a newfound sympathy for Apollo.

‘It is not your concern,’ Zeus said. ‘We have other problems to address.’

An uncomfortable silence settled over the Parthenon.

It didn’t feel right to let the matter go. Jessica didn’t see how Apollo deserved to be singled out for punishment.

Someone must take the blame, Zeus had said.

But why?

‘Father,’ Jessica said, ‘I made a vow to honour all the gods. I promised Kymopoleia that once this war is over none of the gods would be without shrines at the camps.’

Zeus scowled. ‘That’s fine. But … Kym who?’

Poseidon coughed into his fist. ‘She’s one of mine.’

‘My point,’ Jessica said, ‘is that blaming each other isn’t going to solve anything. That’s how the Romans and Greeks got divided in the first place.’

The air became dangerously ionized. Jessica’s scalp tingled.

She realized she was risking her father’s wrath. She might get turned into glitter or blasted off the Acropolis. She’d known her dad for five minutes and made a good impression. Now she was throwing it away.

A good Roman wouldn’t keep talking.

Jessica kept talking. ‘Apollo wasn’t the problem. To punish him for Gaia waking is –’ she wanted to say stupid, but she caught herself – ‘unwise.’

‘Unwise.’ Zeus’s voice was almost a whisper. ‘Before the assembled gods, you would call me unwise.’

Jessica’s friends watched on full alert. Penny looked like she was ready to jump in and fight at her side.

Then Artemis stepped out of the shadows. ‘Father, this hero has fought long and hard for our cause. Her nerves are frayed. We should take that into account.’

Jessica started to protest, but Artemis stopped her with a glance. Her expression sent a message so clear she might have been speaking in her mind: Thank you, demigod. But do not press this. I will reason with Zeus when he is calmer.

‘Surely, Father,’ the goddess continued, ‘we should attend to our more pressing problems, as you pointed out.’

‘Gaia,’ Annabeth chimed in, clearly anxious to change the topic. ‘She’s awake, isn’t she?’

Zeus turned towards her. Around Jessica, the air molecules stopped humming. Her skull felt like it had just come out of the microwave.

‘That is correct,’ Zeus said. ‘The blood of Olympus was spilled. She is fully conscious.’

‘Oh, come on!’ Penny complained. ‘I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That’s not fair!’

Athena shouldered her aegis. ‘Complaining of unfairness is like assigning blame, Penny Jackson. It does no one any good.’ She gave Jessica an approving glance. ‘Now you must move quickly. Gaia rises to destroy your camp.’

Poseidon leaned on his trident. ‘For once, Athena is right.’

‘For once?’ Athena protested.

‘Why would Gaia be back at camp?’ Lorena asked. ‘Penny’s nosebleed was here.’

‘Look,’ Penny said, ‘first off, you heard Athena – don’t blame my nose. Second, Gaia’s the earth. She can pop up anywhere she wants. Besides, she told us she was going to do this. She said the first thing on her to-do list was destroying our camp. Question is: how do we stop her?’

Frances looked at Zeus. ‘Um, sir, Your Majesty, can’t you gods just pop over there with us? You’ve got the chariots and the magic powers and whatnot.’

‘Yes!’ Hazel said. ‘We defeated the giants together in two seconds. Let’s all go –’

‘No,’ Zeus said flatly.

‘No?’ Jessica asked. ‘But, Father –’

Zeus’s eyes sparked with power, and Jessica realized she’d pushed her dad as far as she could for today … and maybe for the next few centuries.

‘That’s the problem with prophecies,’ Zeus growled. ‘When Apollo allowed the Prophecy of Seven to be spoken, and when Hera took it upon herself to interpret the words, the Fates wove the future in such a way that it had only so many possible outcomes, so many solutions. You seven, the demigods, are destined to defeat Gaia. We, the gods, cannot.’

‘I don’t get it,’ Piper said. ‘What’s the point of being gods if you have to rely on puny mortals to do your bidding?’

All the gods exchanged dark looks. Aphrodite, however, laughed gently and kissed her daughter. ‘My dear Piper, don’t you think we’ve been asking ourselves that question for thousands of years? But it is what binds us together, keeps us eternal. We need you mortals as much as you need us. Annoying as that may be, it’s the truth.’

Frances shuffled uncomfortably, like she missed being an elephant. ‘So how can we possibly get to Camp Half-Blood in time to save it? It took us months to reach Greece.’

‘The winds,’ Jessica said. ‘Father, can’t you unleash the winds to send our ship back?’

Zeus glowered. ‘I could slap you back to Long Island.’

‘Um, was that a joke, or a threat, or –’

‘No,’ Zeus said, ‘I mean it quite literally. I could slap your ship back to Camp Half-Blood, but the force involved …’

Over by the ruined giant throne, the grungy god in the mechanic’s uniform shook his head. ‘My girl Lorena built a good ship, but it won’t sustain that kind of stress. It would break apart as soon as it arrived, maybe sooner.’

Lorena straightened her tool belt. ‘The Argo II can make it. It only has to stay in one piece long enough to get us back home. Once there, we can abandon ship.’

‘Dangerous,’ warned Hephaestus. ‘Perhaps fatal.’

The goddess Nike twirled a laurel wreath on her finger. ‘Victory is always dangerous. And it often requires sacrifice. Lorena Valdez and I have discussed this.’ She stared pointedly at Lorena.

Jessica didn’t like that at all. She remembered Asclepius’s grim expression when the doctor had examined Lorena. Oh, my. Oh, I see … Jessica knew what they had to do to defeat Gaia. She knew the risks. But she wanted to take those risks herself, not put them on Lorena.

Piper will have the physician’s cure, she told herself. She’ll keep us both covered.

‘Lorena,’ Annabeth said, ‘what is Nike talking about?’

Lorena waved off the question. ‘The usual. Victory. Sacrifice. Blah, blah, blah. Doesn’t matter. We can do this, guys. We have to do this.’

A feeling of dread settled over Jessica. Zeus was correct about one thing: the worst was yet to come.

When the choice comes, Notus the South Wind had told her, storm or fire, do not despair.

Jessica made the choice. ‘Lorena’s right. All aboard for one last trip.’