#quick little post cause i literally cannot stop thinking about them
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stsg + pinterest quotes cause i fell down a rabbit hole and am coping before ep3
#quick little post cause i literally cannot stop thinking about them#literally just got done crying over them bc my tiktok is full of sad edits of them#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#geto suguru#satoru gojo#suguru geto#satosugu#stsg#batpostingships
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You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)
alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!
pt1, pt2
this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21
cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive
other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.
left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.
■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least
■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship
■ which both are fine with btw
■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever
■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him
■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage
■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know
■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor
■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before
■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.
■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you
■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything
■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it
■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it
■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling
■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you
■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other
■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast
moving on
■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that
■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them
■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge
■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart
■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would
■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do
■ same if you're upset with both
■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition
■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(
■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.
■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough
■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments
■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt
■ anyways, they both come in, it's late
■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little
■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely
■ you've never cried like this before
■ it scares them. alot.
■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.
■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you
■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.
■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone
■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset
■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back
■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night
■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised
■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.
"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.
"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.
"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.
"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.
"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.
lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.
■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"
■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times
■ but he's impressed alastor even asked
■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.
■ that night changed a lot between them tbh
■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed
■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.
■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities
■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist
■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable
■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing
■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous
■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him
■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.
■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted
■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure
■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"
after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.
he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.
without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.
and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.
and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.
as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.
“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”
when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.
after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.
alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:
“just keep cuddling her”
#lucifer smut#alastor smut#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#lucifer morningstar#radioapple#alastor the radio demon#alastor x lucifer#smut#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer
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— BABY FEVER: chilchuck x f!reader
ᥫ cw: pregnancy + established relationship, also one inuendo ᥫ wc: 2841 ★ this has been stuck on my mind for sooo long! i jst want it to be a bit silly teehee >_<! cross posted on ao3
— THERE ARE TIMES WHEN INSTINCT JUST KICKS IN
[♡]: for chilchuck, his instincts kicked in as often as you'd think (especially with laios as a party leader). it was a trait his colleagues admired him for, it made him responsible, dependable. it was a trait chilchuck prided himself it— was he to blame when it came in so handy? though of all the times his instinct saved his ass, there was one he'd have been far more at peace dealing with on his own.
CHILCHUCK'S KEEN SENSES COME IN HANDY.
As a half-foot, his senses were better than other races, having the ability to hear better and smell better, to an extent. He would be alert too with the things he'd sense, shifts in temperature, whispers in the wind. It all came in handy in the dungeon, where Chilchuck would always be first to sniff out any danger.
Like the last time he had ventured down there with the party and Laios had clumsily triggered a trap on accident.
There was a sound, so soft it was nearly silent. It grates in Chilchuck's ear, causing his brows to furrow slightly. Usually in the dungeon, there were all sorts of strange noises Chilchuck normally wouldn't give a second thought to, but this was different. It was louder, therefore closer, therefore— "EVERYBODY RUN." Not a second wasted as everyone quickly followed Chilchuck's instruction, sprinting far and fast into the next room as the walls behind them began to close in on each other. Of course once everyone got to safety, they had thanked and praised him for his quick reaction, saving everyone from another death. Chilchuck had sighed, assessing everyone's safety before promptly going to Laios to scold him for his clumsiness.
Chilchuck's experience comes in handy too.
Whether it was picking locks, bargaining for deals, or patching up worn clothes, Chilchuck's experience always came in clutch.
It was a while back when you two had first moved in together in Chilchuck's house. Chilchuck was proud of your decision, enjoying the newfound domesticity that came with it. "STOP FUCKING YELLING, CALM DOWN!" As domestic as things can get, you supposed. He had clicked his tongue in frustration, wedging one of his tools against his lips and he worked on picking the lock with another. Sweat had dripped down his forehead, sticking stray strands of his bangs against his skin as he worked. He could hear you speak, something a bit panicked and muffled. He had huffed through his nose, if he wasn't holding his tool in his mouth, he would've scolded you again. Of course, he already had and was planning to scold you some more once he got you out of the locked storage room. How could you be so foolish as to break the lock on accident? You were literally living with a locksmith for crying out loud. Once he had gotten you out though (which he himself found miraculous, because you really did some serious damage to the lock) and found you all frazzled and sweaty, and decided to spare you the lecture for now. Chilchuck had wrapped you in his arms and promised to fix the lock in the morning.
Combined, forms what becomes Chilchuck's instinct. He's proud of the person he's grown to be; proud of the big things he's able to do with his instinct, like keeping his friends out of danger when working in the dungeon, and little things too, like last week when he quickly caught the glass you had accidentally knocked off the dining table. While he'd never admit it, it always made him feel warm inside, knowing he had the ability to protect the people he cared about.
Only now, he felt less warm about the feeling and more like he needed to puke right this instant.
Chilchuck cannot recall when he started to truly notice things, but he remembers smaller details scattered around the past few weeks (Gods, had it nearly been a month?). He remembers going out to get you some food you had been whining about craving for a while, he remembers you grouchily scolding him for something then apologizing to him tearfully not ten minutes after.
But when exactly did it start?
Chilchuck's instinct kicked in far too quickly for him to even register that something was up. With you, he had always been more protective, of course he had to be twice as alert as when he was in the dungeon. But this turned out to be his downfall.
Because last night when he pulled you closer to him, his hand brushed over your belly and he instantly freezes. He felt it, and as soon as he did, he realized what it was — what it meant.
A small bump. A small bump he might not have even noticed but it was you, he's notice if you had lost an eyelash.
There was no denying it. You were, based off all the obvious signs he really should've seen sooner, pregnant. And Chilchuck didn't know what to feel. On one hand, he's quite happy, excited even. That's his baby in your belly. It's the same part of him that feels somewhat proud of it, a way to show off that he was truly yours, and you were truly his. It was sweet. He felt warm.
On the other hand, he was totally fucked. For one thing, this was never planned. Sure, the conversation of kids came up every now and then, but he never thought it might've actually happened. He was certain that you both were well into the age where it was nearly impossible for this to happen. Of course it wasn't entirely a bad thing. Chilchuck's survived three daughters, what's another kid? But it's so agonizing to even begin to imagine the rest of his life with an unplanned kid (as happy as Chilchuck is to have another one, he's not as happy to have his perfect little life for two be so suddenly changed without prior notice).
Another thing is his daughters. Sure, his daughters were old enough, they were mature too. He's certain he's raised them well enough to handle the situation with grace, but another sibling? From their 29 year old dad? He's knows they wouldn't mind too much, in fact Puck and Fler might be more than excited to have a new sibling. But as much as he knows that, he knows it would be awkward (though he fears it would be awkward mostly for him, but awkward nonetheless), it would be a bit strange for the girls to have to watch a new sibling grow up when they're already old.
Oh my gods. Oh my gods, did you even know?
It was the thought that rang in Chilchuck's head as he paced around the kitchen, hand on his chin, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.
Chilchuck's certainly figured it out, but did you? As silly as it is for a pregnant woman not to notice (especially when it was beginning to be noticeable for others), it wasn't entirely impossible. The same happened when they had Meijack, but then they had both caught onto the signs very early on (it helped too that they had been going on regular check ups for it). This time? Gods, Chilchuck was certain you hadn't noticed. You had no reason to hide it from him after all, and even if you were trying to, you were acting far too normal to raise any suspicion.
Chilchuck's mind races with all sorts of thoughts but one thing rings clear, he has to tell you about the pregnancy.
How is the bigger thought that follows. For sure he could just sit you down and explain things. You weren't some child that needed sugarcoating, it wouldn't change the fact that you were pregnant anyway. But still, it felt strange to do it like that (that and Chilchuck wpuld like to avoid direct conforntation as much as he can, even with you).
Maybe he could tell you over dinner? Prepare a nice meal, one of your favorites or something you've been craving, and tell you then when you're all comfortable and happy. But it felt a bit disingenuous. Plus it would basically be like sugarcoating the whole ordeal.
He could try to tell you indirectly? Write a letter about it and ask you to open it only when Chil was out of the house. Though it wouldn't work because he knows you'd attempt to beat him to death as soon as he stepped through the front door, and as the new father-to-be (as if he isn't already a father) wanted to be there when you know. He wants to see how you'd react, and he'd want to be there for you.
Perhaps he would take you to the doctor for a "routine check up" and have the doctor tell you instead. Though it wouldn't work because he knows you'd beat him to death as soon as you realize he knew beforehand and the whole doctor's trip was a set-up. But it would be nice to have a check up for the baby then and there too, kill two birds with one stone.
Chilchuck sighs in defeat, completely clueless on how to tell you. From what he sees, there are two valid and plausible options; one, he ask help from a friend to help him set up something nice so he could announce the news to you in a gentle and elegang manner; or two, he pretends not to know and wait until you figure out on your own.
Option two would be best. Right on time because as soon as he decides on the (cowardly) route to take, he hears the wooden door creak and you huff in exhaustion. Immediately, he rushes to your side, kissing your temple and taking away the heavy groceries from your hands (because pregnant women shouldn't be carrying heavy things).
"You're sweet tonight, Chil," you say playfully. "Did you do something bad?"
You hold half the fault. He thinks as he carries the groceries to the kitchen. "Can't I be sweet to my favorite girl?"
You giggle and he sighs with relief, letting go of breath he didn't know he was holding. He places the groceries on the counter, a basket full of assorted fruits, two loaves of bread, a jug of milk, a bottle of wine, and good gods, how the hell did you carry all these on your own? Chilchuck's begins to wonder if maybe you weren't pregnant and were simply getting a bit chubbier (he certainly was) and maybe all the mood swings were from your period coming up, and maybe your body aches were from working yourself too hard, and maybe your cravings were from your period coming up also.
The brief moment of silence in his mind that everything might've been product of his overthinking ends abruptly when he hears you stumble to the bathroom and immediately hears you puke after.
Again, he's rushing to your side, holding stray strands of hair back and soothingly rubbing circles on your back. He coos gently at you, calming you down.
"I'll get you some water," he says, though he only attempts to leave the bathroom when you nod in confirmation.
In the kitchen, he tries to calm himself as more thoughts and worries go through his head. On one hand, option two is a nice easy way out of confrontation. You get to figure it out all on your own and Chilchuck and live a nice happy rest of his twenty or so years with the love of his life telling the silly story of how she found out about their kid. On the other, surely you must be suffering a lot. It must be strange to you to feel all these symptoms but have no clue as to what's causing them if you had even thought each were relating to the same source. It would be better to man up and tell you so you'd at least have something to blame for being grouchy or wanting to eat grilled kraken parasite again. But again, if he tells you now, you'd be a bit frustrated for not knowing it sooner. Though wouldn't you be more frustrated to keep going through these unknown symptoms? And—
There's a strained huff behind him that pulls him out of his thoughts.
"Woah hey, what're doing?" He asks as he rushes to you for the third time that evening. He sets the glass of water down on the counter next to the groceries and tries to wrestle the basket of fruit from your hands.
"Putting away the groceries, Chil, what does it look like I'm doing?" You ask, giving him a small glare, clearly somewhat annoyed.
"Here, let me do it." He offers, finally taking the basket from your hands.
You pout at him, which would normally be very dangerous bit Chilchuck's thinking enough to remember pregnant women shouldn't carry heavy things, but let him take the fruit anyway. Chilchuck smiles at you first to try and put you at ease before he goes to grab a step stool. He sets it down and begins reaching for a pretty bowl to display the fruit in. Thank gods you were being somewhat reasonable (he recalls how a few days ago you were being very insistent you didn't need his help with directions in a bazaar at the other side of town and got yourself lost for a bit and he mentally curses at himself for so foolishly letting a pregnant woman wander around aimlessly in a hot, crowded marketplace) and prays lady luck would string him some more miracles as he continues working with option two—
There's a clink and a pop below him that pulls him out of his thoughts.
Chilchuck nearly drops the bowl he's holding (which would definitely have gotten him beat to death for) as he exclaims, "H-hey! What do you think you're doing?"
You look up at him with a confused look, stopping your pour of wine only when the glass is shy of being half-full. "What is it now?" You ask and he can definitely hear the growing frustration in your tone. "I haven't had the best day, I just want to unwind a bit."
There's a panicked look on his face as he steps down from the stool. "You can't." The way his says it makes your eyebrows tilt downwards to glare at him.
"And why not?" You ask, your tone turning from sour to angry.
Chilchuck sets the bowl down next to the forgotten glass of water. "Well, why should you? There are other ways to unwind you know?" He says without thinking much and begins to set the fruit in the bowl, trying his best not to raise anymore suspicion.
There's a silence that falls in the kitchen and Chilchuck is scared he was getting beat anyway. But then he hears the distinct sound of a wine bottle and a wine glass clink against the counter (of course those small sounds would be familar to a man like Chilchuck) and it takes all his power not to heave a sigh of relief.
Short lived relief because when you wrap your arms around his torso you whisper in his ear, "hm, what sort of other ways, Chil?"
Startled, he jolts upwards and drops an apple. "I didn't... I-I didn't mean it like that!" Chilchuck says, almost in a scolding manner but his face grows red so it's quite difficult to even discern his tone.
You hum again, pressing your face against his neck just so your nose brushes against his skin and your hot breath warms it up. Oh this really would've been dangerous for Chilchuck. "Not like you to have cold feet." You say in a teasing manner, but Chilchuck can feel his stress levels rising too much to even be a bit riled up by you right now.
He turns and grabs you by the shoulders. "Really, I didn't mean that." He says somewhat sternly, but he quickly gives you a shaky smile when he sees the corners of your lips twitch downward.
Your eyes study his and he feels like maybe option two was the worse of two evils. Your lips press into a thin line, clearly you sense something is up, it's evident in the way you're ready to pounce at him with all sorts of unbelieve accusations.
He lets go of your shoulders and sighs in defeat. "It's complicated," he says, almost dejectedly.
And you frown at his tone. You carefully place a hand on his cheek, he turns his head to kiss your palm.
"Anything wrong, you can tell me, Chilchuck." You say in such a reassuring tone, he's almost ready to just spill the beans.
And really, he is.
At the end of the day, he gets to be with you. It's all he's ever wanted since he fell hard and fast for your beauty and wit and warmth, and now you both get to send the rest of your domestic fantasies come true with a kid; a kid that's his and yours, in a house that's his and yours, living a life that will be only his and yours.
Chilchuck smiles gently, genuinely. What's going through some trouble now if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with you?
#ꔛ xixi writes#chilchuck x reader#chilchuck dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#chilchuck dunmeshi#dividers by cafekitsune
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You'll say more about lee!Dazai if prompted? Challenge accepted, my friend. 😈👀😂
Hang on to your Dazai plushies! >:3 Under the cut for length!
~Lee Dazai~
-SUCH a brat about it. He'll taunt Chuuya way more then usual. "Oh, you can't reach my neck? Poor wittle chibi~ Too small to tickle me~" "Sorry, but you have to be this tall to tickle me! *Puts hand an inch or so higher then Chuuya could reach- toe standing and all*" "Come on, little sheep- let's see if you can take on the big bad wolf~" He knows all the buttons to push to get the redhead riled up.
-With Kunikida it's literally just him being his authentic self. He might be additionally lazy when it comes to paperwork; might make paper airplanes out of extra documents and toss them at Kunikida's head or stack books up like a pyramid ala his "fort", and of course feeding Kunikida absolute nonsense to write in his notebook.
-With Atsushi; he just tickles him. Might give his sides the ol' "Poke and run" deal in hopes the weretiger will give chase (He will after the third and fourth time).
-I've said it before and I'll say it again; he CANNOT handle a direct "Do you want me to tickle you?"; he gets so flustered and shy about it! God help him if you tease him while tickling- he gets so whiny; lot's of "Noooo Staaaaaaps" while he's laughing (don't stop- he actually loves it akljerjajerjek)
-OH! If you call him out on loving it he gets so flustered and tries to hide ajerajkrjek either with his hands, the other person's shoulder/chest/wherever he can reach, or he'll try to flip over and hide into the ground. Does that leave some of his worst spots like his neck open? Yeah. Does he know this and does it anyway? Absolutely.
-His neck and armpits are really bad, but you know what? I think he's one of those people with really uncommon tickle spots too- the inside of his elbows for example! They take super light tickles to get him squirming but it can happen. Also his ankles- another spot for super light tickles. (My Sou Koku (?) brain is screaming; Chuuya likes to trace these spots when they cuddle cause Dazai's voice is all thick with sleep and he kinda whisper giggles and its just- *slams face into table ala muffled screaming*)
-HATES his feet touched- it's not even ticklish for him; it just makes his skin crawl. (It's better with socks on? Not great but not nearly as crawly) Chuuya learned this the hard way when he tickled Dazai's foot and got donkey-kicked in the jaw (He's okay- Dazai still feels bad about it)
-On the other hand though- he LOVES rib tickles. Super gentle ones are so comforting for him- he gets all soft and giggly, he even purrs! (If you do the same thing to Atsushi he'll scream aljrkjaerjaejrjke Not a bad scream but a quick: "AHH!" that startles people) Sharper ones will get him laughing up a storm; really he loves both!
-Post tickle- Dazai is beyond cute. He's kinda clingy if it's his S/O? Chuuya will tickle him and go to leave only to be pulled back into Dazai's arms with a "Noooo, stay~" He's always in a pretty good mood post tickle fights- laughing at everything and all genuine smiles. He's also fairly vengeful so be ready; he WILL tickle you back akjjkreajrkejj He's just one big goofball!
Thank you for indulging me, friend :)
#bsd#dazai osamu#tickle#tickle headcanons#I love Lee!Dazai so much akjerjajkerjakerjaej#he is a MOOD
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tell me about the fallout dnd campaign... *eyes emoji bc i'm on my laptop*
HEHEHE OK you don't have to tell me twice ! :3
sooooo first things first, the group consists of a hippie vault dweller (Joel), pre-war ghoul park ranger (Nettle), a girlfailure cowgirl (Andy), and a stubborn bos aspirant (Victoria). I'm literally kicking my feet in the air thinking about them rn
my character is Anderson (Andy for short) and wait. you're gonna love this. SHE RIDES A MECHANICAL HORSE. that's right folks, a giant giddyup buttercup!!!!! it's an absolute pain in the booty ass to draw but it's soooo worth it because it's cool as hell like I'll have to post some of my doodles soon so you can see
now, with 2 points in charisma, she's so. so bad at talking. she fails at pep talks, cannot rally a crowd to save her life, and always says the wrong thing at the wrong time. it never stops her from trying tho! one example of this is after Joel's vault was raided by the "legion" (WHAAAAT!!!! "what does that mean??" you dont get to know yet! cause I don't even really know yet 💀 anyway) she looks at the vault door on the ground and goes "well, you know what they say! one door is... um... blasted off it's hinges and... uh........ another...... um.......... opportunities!!" I LOVE HER !!!!!! I could talk about all the terrible ways she says things all day it's so freaking fun
HOWEVER. somehow, (luck?), it always works out one way or another. no matter how she butchers a speech, no matter how awkward an interaction is, it WORKS. tho people don't react the same way that they would to a more charismatic person, of course. it makes her more lovable, and people listen! for some reason.
she's not stupid, though, I want to make that clear. she's very smart when it comes to things other than talking 💀 with 8 intelligence points and tag skills in repair and science, she knows what she's doing! I mean, she built buttercup all by herself! the brotherhood keeps tabs on her because of her tech capabilities!
speaking of the brotherhood... her interactions with Vic(toria) are SO everything. I like to call Vic a bos pos because she really is a little piece of shit (lovingly) LOL and Andy just. torments her. like somebody threw a snowball at Vic in the vault (it's winter btw) (the dwellers weren't happy with her) and she was like. 'I'm going to handle this with dignity and grace. I am not going to react' and then Andy THROWS ANOTHER just to poke the bear. like girl 😭 or how they all need to use the bos terminals and so Vic is like "ok be normal guys let me do the talking" and before she can, Andy BURSTS through the doors like "I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER" which she would not fucking say that normally but to embarass Vic? absolutely. especially since everyone there already KNOWS her and they're like 'Andy. David is literally in the other room. I don't get paid enough for this.' (and then she proceeds to call him Dave like they're old friends and Vic wants to kill herself and/or Andy at the same time)
now, what's ALSO fun is the interactions between Vic and Nettle. they HATE each other. I mean, obviously, cause Vic is the typical bos type of racist, but also because Andy tries SO desperately to keep things civil like "one big happy family" which we're actually seeing process with recently so !! yay !! Vic got radiation sickness one day and Nettle silently offered her some radaway like awww look at them go :3
Joel is another beast entirely. he doesn't know SHIT about the wasteland (typical vault dweller really) (which is also perfect because his player also doesn't know shit LOL) so he has us 3 idiots to rely on just because we happened to be nearby when his vault opened. his original goal was to set up supply chains because his vault's crops were dying and they have plenty of water to trade, which we dealt with pretty quick, but then we returned to find THE LEGION!!!! subsequently, his dad was stolen, the president (overseer, our dm hates when we call him the president but we do it anyway) was also stolen, and his life was turned upside down! yay!
so now, obviously, our goal is to save Joel's dad, the president, and whoever else the legion stole ! ngl it's been over 2 months since our last session 💀 but that just means I have more time to doodle things that happened previously! I'll post them after finals or something :) thanks for reading omg what do u think?? I'm not doing them justice really there are a lot more complexities but I guess that's the basics. also thank u for asking 🥺 I love talking about them and I will likely do it again LOL
#fallout dendy#no way anyone is reading all that 💀#so fun to talk about tho :3#i loooooove them omg#andy loml i would die for her#my creatures
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Cassandra x Maiden----Anonymity
Three months, two days and seven hours.
That is how long you’ve been in Dimitrescu castle for. If rumor is to be believed, you are well on your way to setting the year’s record for longest living maid. Well. ‘Maid’, according to their perception. Your mind always automatically corrects it to something more fitting:
Prisoner.
You did not choose to work for them. You did not choose to be in this godforsaken place, cleaning crimson stains off the floors, trying to convince yourself the wailing that sometimes reaches your ears is simply the wind. You never would have imagined your life’s end like this, serving wine –no, who are you kidding, it’s too crimson for that— to the Dimitrescus at dinner until one of them snaps and drives the nearest blade into your throat.
Probably Daniela.
It’s not unheard of. And stories of other maids’ murders are plenty.
Daniela has bitten one’s throat off for the crime of addressing her wrongly. Cassandra has left increasingly deep gashes, some of which resulted in deaths, for random offenses, like staring at her for too long. Bela, arguably the more merciful of the three, has snapped necks only when the staff disrespected her sisters’ names, or her mother’s.
You aren’t sure if you want to thank the older maids for this information or yell at them for the nightmares it has caused you. You are lucky to not be in the village, they say –everyone there must already be dead. You are even luckier to have been taken from the dungeon by the Lady herself. It means the daughters don’t know you and the castle is big enough that they may never spare you a glance.
You hadn’t believed it, at first.
Yet in the three months of your stay, you have never come across anyone other than Bela in the sections you were assigned to clean and polish. She passed you by the hallway like she did the decorations and the furniture –and you couldn’t be happier about it. You have caught scarce glimpses of Alcina Dimitrescu, too. Never the other two residents.
Not until the fateful day another maid disappears and the staff’s assigned posts change. You have no say in it and no power to object.
May as well keep my head down and continue to work as carefully as I have. That is the idea. Not to look too much, or think too much, or feel too much. Avoid mistakes because those in the castle are fatal.
It is a little difficult to remain utterly calm when the sound of swarming insects comes from far behind you, though.
Your blood starts to kick in your veins. Your heart wants to jump out of your chest and make a run for it. You lock your muscles down and summon all the willpower you possess to stay focused on your task.
Please be Bela, please, please, be Bela—
The buzzing dies down. Steps approach you in the otherwise silent hallway. They are too light to be Bela’s. You’re probably screwed, you think, but you keep cleaning the surface in front of you until it’s practically a mirror with how it shines.
The steps halt too close to you for comfort. Out of the corner of your eye, you realize they’ve left bloody imprints on the floor you’ve been polishing for hours now. Dainty, pale fingers are wrapped loosely, almost lazily, around a sickle dripping crimson.
“Never seen you around, before.” the sound of her voice makes you freeze.
You stop and turn— to face none other than Cassandra Dimitrescu. Her hood is down, brunette waves on point, the dried blood at her chin a terrible contrast to her otherwise attractive face. You… didn’t know she was that pretty, up close.
“I… I have been here for three months. On the opposite wing.” you say. Was I even supposed to reply? You’ll find out soon enough, if your tongue is still attached to your body.
Her eyes give you a quick once-over. “Bela’s been keeping you a secret, huh.” she tsks. Her free hand goes to the handle of the door next to you… and only then do you realize it must be her bedroom. You’re literally assigned to clean the wolf’s den. “Come wake me up when the sun has set, completely.” she emphasizes.
What.
“Uh—”
The crimson-dyed sickle moves until its blade rests underneath your chin, lifting it so your eyes meet hers. From this angle, under the pale lighting of dawn, they look more –stunning— blue than inhuman gold. “No loud sounds. No lights. Got it?”
How can you not, when your life depends on it?
“Yes, my lady.” you reply. You don’t even dare draw breath.
“Good.” In one swift movement, the sickle is gone, the handle turned and she’s already shedding her robe.
You catch a glimpse of a black corset and a narrow waist before you avert your eyes.
The door shuts.
...
Waking Cassandra up can be… tricky, the other maids tell you.
She detests light when she opens her eyes but she also doesn’t want it to be pitch black. You’re not supposed to talk but you can’t shake her, either. Which brings you to the very logical question:
“What the hell am I supposed to do, then?”
To which they have no answer.
They have no answer, you realize with a start… because there’s nobody alive to tell the tale of how to actually wake the brunette sleeping beauty up without simultaneously signing their own death sentence.
The hours pass both too slow and too fast. The sun sets over the horizon.
And you stand, riddled with nerves, outside Cassandra’s room.
A deep inhale later, you turn the handle. The door is left half-open so a bit of light comes in from the hallway. Her bedroom smells like shampoo, bath salts and spices. She must have taken a shower before she went to sleep. You approach the figure tucked under the silken sheets of the queen-sized bed…
Cassandra is lying on her side, one hand underneath her pillow, the other extended loosely towards the edge of the mattress. She probably sleeps naked, at least from the waist up, but thankfully the covers are wrapped around her chest. Their royal red color makes a stark contrast against the paleness of her skin.
Her face is so… serene.
She is a monster and a sadistic killer, yet right there you can’t deny she looks more like a renaissance painting.
Now onto the hard part.
“My lady… the sun has set.” you whisper, kneeled on the floor beside her. No movement comes. “Hey… I’m here to wake you up?” you try again. Still nothing. Shakily, you bring your hand up to the bed. Not daring to touch her, you leave it beside hers, over the covers. “Cassandra?”
She turns her face deeper into her pillow –no, no, you don’t think it’s cute, what’s wrong with you— but at least she’s finally reacting. You call her name one more time.
Her nose scrunches up a little. Long fingers flex –and they touch yours. She’s cold. A pair of blueish ambers blink open to regard you. Not with malice, or with annoyance.
“Good evening.” you speak, unsure of what else to say.
A smirk slowly curves her lips. She looks like a lazy cat pondering whether or not it’s worth it to pounce and that’s not good. It’s not good, not ‘hot’ like your mind suggests. God, you’ve been in this castle so long you are starting to get messed up.
“Mm, breakfast in bed.” she grins and licks her lower lip sexily. Your eyes fly wide open, but her hand is already gripping the front of your black shirt, trapping you there.
How could you ever find this psycho attractive?! you get mad at yourself. Is she hot now that she’s going to kill you?
But Cassandra only lets out an airy laugh and releases you. You fall backwards on your behind. “Breathe, darling, I’m joking.” She rolls onto her back and seems to wince from it. Her smile vanishes.
“…does… your back hurt?” you ask when you finally find your voice again.
“Ugh, a Lycan landed a hit on me. He’s pieces now, of course, but my muscles still pull.” she says it casually, like it’s a thing that happens.
Silence falls over the room. You take it as your cue to leave. You stand and bow while she’s looking blankly at the ceiling—
But she stops you.
“Wait. Come here.” you don’t like it when she gets that tone, like she came up with something she cannot wait to try. You’re already close to the bed, you’re not sure what she means. Until she pats the spot right next to her. “Don’t make me say it again.”
You won’t. You know what’s good for you.
Hesitantly, you take a seat on the –admittedly very comfortable— mattress. “Yes, lady?”
“Give me a massage.” she says like it’s your job, like she’s the rich woman in a spa and it’s what’s expected. She turns onto her front, bearing her naked back to you and you have less than five seconds to come to terms with the thought of straddling her.
Carefully, you bring your knees on either side of her thighs and pull the sheets so they rest low at her waist. You feel warmer than you should given the temperature of the castle. If she knows the fine teasing line she’s walking, she is loving every inch of it.
Cassandra loves being the center of attention and she loves being pampered, you realize.
It’s probably amusing to her to make you fluster, but this is also an opportunity for you to get on her good graces. She is a dangerous one and it’ll be a great asset for your survival if she’s leaning favorably towards you. Win-win situation. You just have to be good at your job. Like always.
By some miracle of God, you do know how to work the tension out of muscles.
The first time you touch her, you simply rest your hands on her back to warm it. She doesn’t seem to object, from the way lean muscle stretches out under your fingers. Cassandra feels cool, but not hard like marble. Her skin yields under your touch, soft and smooth.
As you apply more pressure to your stokes, she starts to let out little sighs that you have to mute in your mind before they start to affect you. You’ve been high-strung and without sex for too long. Your body all too eagerly intercepts this death-trap as foreplay.
Minutes roll by.
You alternate between all the methods you know. The one that really seems to get her is when you drive your thumb into the knots and end with a little circle.
Cassandra is –God help you— openly moaning every time you press more. It is a bit too much pressure you’re applying though and you don’t know if you’re hurting her and she’s just into it.
“Is this too much…?” you ask. Fuck, why do you sound so breathless?
“No, it’s good.” she husks back.
“Harder?” You don’t know what innocent means, anymore.
Cassandra sends that little smirk again over her shoulder. “Harder.” she replies and the extra flair she puts into it is enough to nearly fry your brain. And other parts of you.
You’re pretty sure you need a cold shower by the time you leave her room.
...
At diner, you hang back in the shadows, gaze downcast.
You do not need to know what the Dimitrescu family is eating, nor what they’re drinking. You do not need to see Cassandra or risk catching Daniela’s gaze. You love your anonymity in the castle. It has kept you alive.
But it is shattered like frail glass when you bring another bottle of Sanguis Virginis to the table. You’ve almost retreated back to your place, when Daniela’s eyes zero in on you.
“She’s the human!” she exclaims like she’s made the world’s most startling discovery. Bela seems to understand, but the Lady and Cassandra frown over their glasses.
“I am almost afraid to ask, love.” Lady Alcina says…
And she’s right.
“The one who made Cassandra go ‘harder’ and ‘yes, yes!’ earlier this evening.” she impersonates in her sluttiest voice and then breaks into a fit of cackles. Bela’s lip twists into a withheld chuckle.
Lady Dimitrescu nearly chokes on her wine.
Cassandra slaps the back of Daniela’s head. “You’re such an idiot.”
“Girls.” Alcina warns and glares until the table calms again.
Then, her eyes curiously fall upon you.
So much for your anonymity.
Ko-Fi
#Cassandra Dimitrescu#bela dimitrescu#daniela dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu#lady dimitrescu's daughters#cassandra x oc#resident evil village#resident evil 8#fanfiction#cass kills with her hair and nails on point she's the murder-princess type#you can't change my mind#I love her
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heartbreak avenue (3) || albedo x reader
heartbreak avenue (1) heartbreak avenue (2) -- tell me how, do you do this thing called living? when theres nothing more to gain. gn reader -- ignore the link below idk how tf to hyperlink on mobile but that’s ur part 4 ig
damn. imagine missing mond so much that you visit just for the vibes and accidentally become a one time vigilante for dominating over a couple abyss mages
how oddly specific!
you moment.
TO BE FAIR, you didn't mean to and also ur just strong with that 245% crit damage ugh yeah yeah get it ig
it was night time, like, idk 1am and you were in this cloak because idk look swaggy and comfortable
abyss mage went ŏ̸̡̡̹̘͉̫̬̬̭̘̙̝͐͒̆̈́̒̿̄́͠͝ǒ̸̧̺͕̣̬̝̱͈̭̭̻̮̈̏̔͆̑̀̍ǫ̵̡̜̲̭̠̤̰̹͍̣͎̤̈́̓̍͠ḩ̴̡͍̣̹̯̭̩̮̣̩̭́̔̀̍͊̂͒́̆͘͜͝͝ȃ̷̧̡̢̡̨̛̪͓̤̜͕̳̦̼͊̏̃͆̓̈́̈́̽̈́͌͐̋̚ͅh̸̡̩͍̟͕̥͚̰̰̟̮̖̪̉̈́͛͂̍̾a̸̧̢͕̙̞̳̩͈̲͉͕̒̆̎̐̎̍̀͊͘̚͝h̸̡̼͓̝͕̫̤̰̱̬̣̗͚̙̀͜ and you were like "lmao shut up"
and like it did! because you made it shut up and also mans diluc was watching in his dark knight hero thingy
of course you noticed his presence from the beginning, you just wanted to piss him off and act like he wasn't there at all
you walked. straight past him like he was actually on the bridge in the middle and you just w al ked .
i mean ofc he gonna say something. and he did. dude said "who r u"
stared at him directly in the eye and said "the embryo made of chewed bubblegum."
he stared. sh o ck ed . what were you even saying
"jk im a resident of mondstadt, visiting from my liyue trip."
"and how do i know you arent lying?"
you sighed and grabbed your dendro vision, letting him look at the frame. "its incased in a mondstadt styled frame." after a few seconds, you put it back. "if that is all, i'll be going."
"k"
"literally fuck off" you responded and walked inside.
sometimes you forget how rude mondstadt people are lmao loser.
ok so like this donna girl really went up to you like "JFKLSJFLKSDJFL NUMBER ??? HELLO ?? UMM THE WAY YOU SAVED MONDSTADT RLKDFFC" and you resisted every urge to flip her off on the spot.
you just stayed and let her talk, smiling through all of it. your hood was still on but it was quite windy s ooo
its been ten minutes. girl please let us go. you were literally begging for anyone to cut in because ur too nice (or unbothered) to tell her to shut up even though you totally went off on diluc aadahahhshdf
and someone did! not the one you expected though.
"good evening donna, and... oh? who would you be?"
ALBEDO LMAO GET STICKBUGGED? ? ? ?? AH a hjfkahfjah . im so funny .
guys i meant that ironically please
anyway
you got even more uncomfortable lmao and you just looked at him and smiled. what do you respond? "no one of importance."
he heard your voice, saw your eyes and it registered. it was you...
or was that what he wanted to believe?
cause this whole time hes been waiting for you, only using experiments as a thing to pass time. it got... a little more lonelier, because nothing could replace you.
he decided to not believe it. because 1) you knew well they welcomed you with open arms, so there would be no need to hide yourself
(which is also proof of how much the whole situation fucked up your thinking)
a second of silence before he continues on the conversation with normal evening meeting stuff things idk
then ur like "ahhshaaajk i must be taking my leave now for matters i will not disclose ahaha skidoosh"
skidoosh
so you go to the big venti statue next to the cathedral and just stand. stare. yikes
no ones out right now and theres nothing to do. but you remember this place because its where the both of yall would eat together whenever he had free time (which wasnt that often, but he still made the effort)
you look up to the sky, counting all the stars like you used to.
no ones gonna know that you're here, you decided on that. you only visited because you simply missed it, but after this, you were going back to liyue.
no ones gonna know. because no one needs to know. no one needs to know that you were here. that would only cause more trouble to the situation you tried to avoid
albedo ends up catching up to you later, still having some spark of hope left that it really was you
i mean lowkey there isnt really anything saying it wasnt. he wanted to believe that he was just overthinking when he thought it really wasnt you
like you look the same. sound the same. its just the reasoning of you coming here, but he can push that aside
"(y/n)."
you flinch but didnt react with anything else. he doesnt need to know that its you.
"(y/n)?"
you turn around to meet his eyes as he was approaching you. slightly distancing yourself another inch away as you were not used to the proximity, you responded, "i'm afraid i'm not the one you're looking for."
albedo stops for a moment, and was about to apologize,, but then
yknow that wind i mentioned earlier? like right after donna started bothering you
yeah that same wind blew ur hood off! lmao L
okay time to get serious !
you stay composed and sighed, your breath visible in the cold air.
so your features are exposed, and its so obviously you, like theres literally no way it cannot be you
"it really is you..." he doesnt understand why youre not admitting to it. "(y/n), please.."
you shake your head and walk away but mans grabs your wrist gently
"(y/n), whats wr-" he starts, but youre quick to respond
"im not (y/n)." you flat out said it and looked right into his eyes. and you swear there were small tears even if he was deemed nonchalant.
he doesnt understand, its your physical features, and your same energy, there is no other person that completely matches it.
he pulls you closer to examine this black smudge on your hand, a small yelp of surprise coming from you.
"this is... ink," he studied the properties of the substance. "you responded to my letter a day ago. (y/n)... i know by now. there's no reason to hide it."
you step away, freeing your hand from his grasp. your voice broke, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. "i'm not... i'm not (y/n). i never will be. i'll never be so vulnerable again, i'll never be so naive again, i'll never be so lonely again, i will never ever be anything like they were again."
your vision blurred, but you werent oblivious to the tears streaming down his face as well. reaching to brush them away, you paused and let it drop to his shoulder instead.
"albedo. i... the (y/n) you knew... they're gone now. and if i could revert back to them any time, i would, i swear, but... i'm al-... they..." you buried your head in your hands. "i'm broken. to the point that i refuse to identify as the (y/n) you know me by."
doesnt know what to say, so he almost pulls you into a hug before you move out of the way. something you never did.
"don't... please. it never works out in the end." you shake your head, facing the other way. "for me at least."
"..we could work together, no?" he tried, still oblivious about your feelings towards him.
"only if you're willing to cross your moral boundaries," you looked back and tilted your head. taking a deep breath, you continued, "but you know that neither of us are willing to do that."
he couldn't say anything, because as much as he hated to admit something for once, you were right about that. at this point, he would've thought that literally any extent would've been fine to reach to bring you back.
yet in multiple situations where he's doubted himself before, theres always a line he will never cross.
"...i wish you the best. treat her well because i worked hard." you walked away without him stopping you this time. i worked hard. not we worked hard.
even if you had honestly felt that way, there was no chance the old you wouldve actually voiced that.
and so he watched you slip from his grasp again, only this time, he stopped himself from holding you back from his own will.
yet he swears- the next time he meets you again, he will bring you back.
#albedo x reader#genshin impact x reader#albedo#genshin albedo#genshin angst#albedo angst#sucrose#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin headcanons
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Some thoughts about Episode 2x12 of 911 Lone Star and subject of physical abuse. I’ll put behind the cut for those who don’t want to read:
I work in the field of abuse of adults and one of the hardest realities of my job is that I have to hold the word “abuse” lightly because the spectrum of what is experienced as abuse by the parties involved is wide, for many factors, including enculturation, personal history, physiological make-up, emotional maturity/intelligence, and mental health. There are legal definitions of what constitutes abuse/assault in every jurisdiction and there is the basic understanding of power/control and the role that plays in the relationship. Even the word “healthy” when it comes to relationships is difficult to define because what I regard as “healthy” is not something someone else considers valuable enough to work on or worth separating from their partner over. It is surprisingly personal and while I have laws that I enforce, the reality is that even when an incident meets the legal criteria, if the victim says it wasn’t abusive to them, there is not much we can do other than to keep offering the victim that there is another way to love and be loved.
That said, I’ve seen a lot of posts of fans very upset about TK’s shoving Carlos when he was angry. And I am not here to say that interpretation is wrong. However, I do understand why the writers and actors would have created that scene and not consider it all that problematic. Again, not justifying, simply offering some thoughts from someone who works in this field. These are my own and I know other investigators in my own unit who would think differently, so it is just one perspective. Also, I am not a sworn officer. I enforce civil law, not criminal.
1) I don’t believe TK’s reaction is out of character. When he is emotionally compromised, he self-harms. He does that with substances and we have seen him seek out fights (the bar which leads to the police station scene and with Judd, both S1) when he is upset. I read his pushing Carlos as self harm over abuse because his actions betray that he is trying to get Carlos to *hit him*. Which Carlos, being a police officer who is trained to remain calm (they are supposed to be anyway), responded by restraining TK. TK’s response is then not to calm down but to get more upset and tell him to leave because TK is *not getting the emotional release that he wants* which is physical pain. He wants to feel physical pain to mask his emotional pain but Carlos won’t participate in that. So this isn’t abuse in the typical way we understand it. It is manipulation on TK’s part and unhealthy as hell, but is actually in keeping with what TK does when he’s hurting emotionally.
2) This scene is highly-feminine coded. There are hundreds of examples in tv/movies where a woman is upset and she beats her fists against a man’s chest (who is almost never who she is actually upset with/about) and the man endures it for a bit and then restrains her until she calms down. We see it all the time and while also problematic, generally we don’t object to it because we view the woman as not being able to cause the man any real harm or pain. Women get away with a LOT of domestic abuse because of this bias. So given that trope, it is very possible that the writers and actors viewed this scene through that same bias. That TK isn’t really hurting Carlos because he is bigger and more muscular than TK. Again, not great, but something to consider when evaluating the choices made by the creators of the art in question.
3) The Fight or Flight response is so deeply ingrained, it is very difficult to stop. When I enter someone’s home as part of my work, I am there to investigate an allegation of abuse. Even with the word INVESTIGATOR on my chest, and with everyone knowing why I am there, there are some perpetrators who are so reactionary in their fight/flight response that they try to threaten and intimidate me (fight). They are displaying abuse behaviors to the one person you would logically think they would want to hide those behaviors from. And many do. But for some, they literally cannot stop the response. Makes my job a little bit easier because now I am a witness to their abusive reactions and can document it. In this instance with TK and Carlos, I’m not necessarily saying that response was triggered in TK, but again, he has a much higher propensity for Fight than Flight in general so I can’t say it’s *not* a factor either.
4) Many have expressed wanting to see the apology between them that was not shown. In some ways, I can understand why the showrunners chose not to. That should not be a quick conversation. And in the context of a show like this, where there is no other way to do it, I think would ultimately be worse. If TK apologizes and Carlos accepts without much conversation, there is no reason for anyone to expect the behavior to change on TK’s part. This actually models abusive cycles. Any conversation where Carlos confronts TK about his behavior would take real time because they’d have to get at the reasons why TK had that reaction in the first place, and given that Carlos has already addressed this (in their convo at the police station after TK is arrested for brawling) and it hasn’t changed. Therefore, the scene would need to either put Carlos in a role of continuing to bring this up while addressing why he is putting up with the behavior from TK, or Carlos needs to do some self-reflection about why he’s still in this relationship. So to do it in a way that is actually “healthy” doesn’t take them where the writers wanted them to be later in the episode. So, in many ways, their apology scene is best served by a well-written fanfic than it would be by a 2 minute on-screen scene that would either serve to perpetuate an unhealthy cycle or push them further apart. This way, there is an ambiguous element where everyone can pretend that some long-ass conversation occurred and the two of them came to a healthy resolution.
5) DV scenes between men are *way* bloodier than any other scenes I encounter. In my experience, when men are abusive of men, it’s very brutal. And again, what equals abuse is sometimes hard to define and even harder to address. So a little shoving, while not great, is also not even in the stratosphere of how bad it often can be. Is it right to view abuse with that kind of relativism? Hard to say. But when you exist in this world, it is hard not to and I have to go by the people in front of me and what they are expressing about how they feel about what happened. If you, the viewer, watched this and reported it as abuse, I could go investigate. But if TK and Carlos say to me, “Nah, we didn’t feel that at all.” Then it doesn’t matter what you, the witness, feel about it, or even me. I can offer my educated and experienced view, but that doesn’t mean the two parties will accept it. That’s why I have learned to hold it loosely because adults have the right to self-determination and the right to make poor choices. And believe me, that is very hard to do, especially when I encounter a victim who is clearly so beat-down that they can’t imagine anything better for themselves. But if I tell that victim, “You must...” then I am simply becoming the next person controlling their choices. Instead, I offer “You could...” or “Here’s some options...”
To me personally, I read TK’s shoving Carlos as evidence of unhealthy self-harm behavior more than TK abusing Carlos, because the action wasn’t rooted in power and control and ended fairly benignly. Would it be awesome for them to still address it? Absolutely. But I also understand why they chose not to.
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locked lips
pairing: Pro Hero! Izuku Midoriya x fem! reader
ratings/warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI [please im literally begging you], swearing, legal consumption of alcohol, slight praise, fingering, use of the name ‘baby’, deku being a little bit of a cocky jerk, unprotected intercourse, make-up sex
genre: ex’s to lovers, smut, aged up characters, fluff/angst (?)
word count: ~2.2k words
synopsis: You broke up with him on impulse. That doesn’t mean you stopped loving him. Now you’re back at his place, at a party you planned, with him looking just so desirable. What else were you to do?
a/n: hi hi! alright friends, this being my first nsfw post i cannot stress enough how important it is that minors don’t interact. if i catch any minors interacting with this post, ill delete this post and block them, which i obviously don’t want to have to do. just please respect these rules :)) anyway, reblogs are greatly appreciated and enjoy xx
You scrolled through your phone, mindlessly. You tried your best not to double tap on any of the pictures on your screen. The last thing you needed was for him to know you were stalking his page.
“You should start getting ready,” said Uraraka. You looked over at her, cocking a brow.
“Uh I'm not going?” you huffed. Uraraka sat down beside you.
“Don’t be like that Y/N. You still have to go tonight, regardless of Deku.”
“The party is at Deku’s house. I’d look like a total idiot showing my face there after we broke up.”
You sat up and crossed your arms. Ochaco sighed. She grabbed your shoulders.
“Y/N, you are gonna go to the party and make Deku regret his entire life. Anyway, I’m bringing you as my plus one, so you have to come!”
You sighed. “Fine, but I’m staying with you the whole night.”
Ochaco smiled and gave you a quick hug. She got up and began scanning through her closet again.
You had been staying with Uraraka since you and Izuku had broken up. It was a blow out fight. You yelled at him for caring about work more than you. He shouted at you for not being understanding of his career. The words you meant mixed with the words you didn’t, and chaos erupted between you and him. So, you packed a bag and left. You didn’t want to, but you were done.
While you and Deku were still together, you helped him plan an event for him and his fellow Pro Heroes, as an opportunity for them all to get together. Now, you would be attending that same event. Only, not with him.
“Who would’ve thought there’d be a day where I’d have too many clothes to choose from,” laughed Ochaco. You smiled.
“You should wear that pink dress Iida bought you for your birthday. I don’t think you’ve worn it out yet.”
“You think? It’s not too much…”
“Of course not! You’ll look hot,” you teased. Ochaco smiled.
“Alright alright I’ll wear it. But then you have to wear this!” She pulled out a bag from her closet and handed it to you.
“Please don’t tell me you bought me something…”
“I had to! All your clothes are still at his place...and I wanted to make sure you felt good tonight.”
You gave Ochaco a nudge and pulled out the tissue paper. You felt the soft material in between your fingertips, pulling it out from the bag.
“Uraraka...”
“No need to thank me. You’ve been through hell and back these last few weeks, the least I could do is get you a pretty dress.”
You jumped towards your friend, engulfing her in a hug.
“Thank you.”
“Hey now, let’s get ready! The limousine will be here in just a few hours!”
~
You sat in the back of the limo with Ochaco as you were on your way to Deku’s party. You looked like a million bucks. A little part of you hoped someone would take notice.
The estate where Izuku lived was gated off. Once you were let inside, you could see the beaming lights from the top of the hill. You felt your stomach clench, nerves building inside of you. You wanted to see him, but you also didn’t want to see him doing better without you. You haven’t even been apart that long. A month maybe? Certainly not long enough for him to be over you, because you certainly weren’t over him.
“Oh wow, Deku went all out!” cheered Ochaco. You looked to see the endless decorations and glamor that surrounded you.
“Yeah, these were my ideas,” you mumbled. Ochaco placed a hand on your shoulder.
“Don’t stress about it. Let’s just have fun, okay?”
You exited the vehicle and began to make your way inside. Champagne fountains and blasting music greeting you. His house was just as extraordinary as you remembered it. Nothing less than perfect for the No. 1 Hero.
“Uravity! Y/N!”
You turned to see your friend Iida, plus others from your old days at UA.
“You two are looking stunning tonight!” smiled Kirishima.
“Why thank you, it’s all thanks to this one,” you chuckled, giving Ochaco a nudge.
“I honestly didn’t expect to see you here tonight Y/N,” said Shoto. You shrugged.
“Well, I was invited after all. So Mr. Number One Hero can deal with it,” you huffed.
“Sounds like you could use a drink.”
Kaminari handed you a glass of champagne, which you took happily. You clinked glasses with your friends before dousing the beverage down.
“It’s gonna be a long night,” you mumbled to yourself.
You found yourself on the living room couch of Izuku’s large complex. You watched as Pro Heroes danced mindlessly with far too many drinks in their systems. You chuckled. At least they’re having fun.
You hadn’t seen Izuku all night, which was strange considering this was his party. You looked over to the glass staircase, knowing more than well that his bedroom was upstairs. You knew the layout like the back of your hand, after all, you lived here for a year.
You knew all your stuff had to be upstairs. You only had time to pack a small bag the day you left. Surely he wasn’t awful enough to throw your things away. You got up from the couch and quietly made your way up the stairs, hoping no one saw you sneak away from the action of the party.
His bedroom was at the end of the hallway. The doors were closed. You placed your shaky hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. It was unlocked.
You stepped inside. The smell of his cologne filled your senses, causing memories to flood in as well. His room was neat, as if no one had been sleeping in it. You turned to the closet. All your clothing should be on the right side.
“Sneaking around?”
You jumped, removing your hand from the closet handle. You turned around slowly.
“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t burn my shit,” you huffed. Izuku chuckled. He took a few steps towards you, opening the closet.
“Don’t paint me as a villain Y/N. All your things are safe and sound.”
Your side of the closet was just as you left it. Exactly how you left it. You looked back to Izuku.
“Perfect. Then I’ll be taking it with me when I leave-”
“I’m surprised you came at all. I figured you’d want to be as far away from here as possible.”
“I didn’t come for you, I came for Ochaco.”
“Oh right.”
Deku took a step back, placing his hands in his pockets. That devilish smile stared you down, causing your face to burn. You could see the outline of his muscles through his white button down.
“You look incredible by the way. New dress?” he smirked. You rolled your eyes.
“Well since all my clothes were here, yes.”
“Well serves you right for leaving out of nowhere.”
Your eyes widened and you clenched your fists.
“I didn’t leave out of nowhere, I left because you cared more about your job than me!”
“That’s not true-”
“To hell it is! I was tired of being second to everything so I left!”
Izuku took a deep breath and stepped closer to you. He placed his hand under your chin, having you look at him.
“I didn’t want to break up.”
Your breathing got heavier without you even realizing it. You also didn’t realize that Midoriya had you pressed against the closet door.
“I-I didn’t want to either…” you whispered. Izuku smiled.
“Then tell me baby, why did we?”
“B-Because I didn’t know what else to do…”
Izuku brushed his thumb against your cheek, then took a step back.
“Look, I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel under-appreciated...but-”
Izuku moved closer to you again, pinning your arms to your sides and pressing his torso against you all in a swift motion.
“-I can think of a better way to prove it to you.”
You tried to catch your breath. All you wanted was him at this exact moment. Was that a good thing? Of course not. Did you care? Of course not.
“Then prove it to me.”
Izuku wasted little time in moving you onto his California-king. He pinned you down onto the mattress and instantly kissed you. You felt the rush of butterflies swarm your stomach. You hated how much you had missed this.
Deku let go of your wrists and you began to unbutton his shirt. With little patience, he helped you from out of your dress. He dived back down, locking lips with you once more. You dragged your nails down his back, listening as soft groans escaped his lips. He moved down to kiss and suck on your neck.
“Fuck~” was all you were able to get out. Izuku’s hands grazed your burning body, feeling the skin that he had been craving since the day you left. He snaked his hand to your back, unbuckling your bra easily.
“I’ve still got it…” he teased. He threw the bra to the floor and gave you little time to breathe before kissing you again. You ran your fingers through his fluffy hair, pulling him impossibly closer.
“Izuku...please…”
His puppy dog eyes stared back at you.
“What is it?”
You panted heavily, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I need you.”
A smirk creeped onto his face. Izuku kissed your cheek.
“I promised I was gonna prove it to you, wasn’t I?”
Izuku sat up, unbuckling his belt. He slid off his pants and boxers. You caught a glimpse of him, causing your body to feel on fire. Midoriya placed his head in between your legs. He teasingly kissed your inner thighs, keeping his hands glued onto them. The anticipation was practically killing you.
“Izuku-”
“Patience baby...I’m in no rush…”
He moved up to your underwear, biting onto one of the strings and pulling it down. They were practically soaked already. Same with your bra, he tossed them to the floor.
He continued to kiss and nip at your thighs, inching impossibly closer to you. You couldn’t take it anymore.
You grabbed Izuku up and kissed him feverishly.
“So eager baby~”
“Please just fuck me,” you whispered. Izuku chuckled. He licked his lips.
“As you wish.”
Izuku spread your legs apart, dipping one of his fingers inside of you with ease. You arched your back, letting out a moan, and gripping onto his arm tightly.
“That’s it baby~”
Midoriya slipped another finger in, stretching you out even more. You clenched around him as he added more pressure.
He removed his fingers and better adjusted himself above you. He held his cock in his hand before slowly pushing it inside of you.
You didn’t remember him ever feeling this good.
Izuku began to thrust into you, slow at first before building in speed. You could feel yourself clenching around him, sweat forming on your skin. Midoriya groaned with each movement as he pushed even deeper. He kissed you as he fucked you, though you were such a mess you could barely keep up.
He knew exactly how to get you worked up.
“Oh god...I’m c-close,” you mumbled.
“Not yet…”
Midoriya moved his hand down, taking his thumb and rubbing your needy clit. You gripped onto him even harder, digging your nails into his skin as he pushed you over the edge.
“Oh fuck-fuck-”
“Fuck baby, I-I love you-I’m sorry-” he stuttered out.
“I-I love you t-too. Fuck Izuku- I’m gonna cum-”
“Cum with me baby-”
Izuku went even harder as he reached his climax, following you. You let out a pleasure filled scream as you let go. Izuku laid on top of you, catching his breath as your body shook below him.
He looked up at you, brushing his hair back.
“I love you,” he repeated, in case you didn’t believe him the first time. You smiled.
“I love you too.”
~
You had forgotten all about the party that was occurring below you. As you got redressed to head back down to meet Ochaco, you felt Izuku grab your hand.
“What is it?” you asked him. Midoriya took your other hand as he stood before you.
“I really am sorry. I don’t want you to leave again,” he explained. You sighed. You ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek.
“It’s okay, I won’t.”
You walked downstairs with Izuku, his hand interlocked with yours. You watched as Ochaco’s jaw dropped at the sight of you.
“Oh so that’s where you were for the last hour and a half?” she huffed. You chuckled nervously.
“Yeah sorry…”
“Well the limo is here to take us back home, or are you staying here?” she asked. You looked up at Midoriya.
“I’m staying.”
Soon the Midoriya residence was quiet, just you and him remained. You curled up with him on the couch, his arms holding you tightly as he kissed your head.
“You wanna know why I didn’t get rid of any of your things?” he said. You laughed.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you’d be back.”
•
reblogs are greatly appreciated <3
#willow.🌸#cheeky cherry blossoms.🌸#mha#bnha#my hero academia#my hero academia blurb#my hero academia one shot#mha smut#bnha smut#izuku midoriya x reader#bnha izuku#mha izuku#izuku midoriya x you#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya x y/n#midoriya x reader#deku x female reader#deku x y/n#deku x you#deku x reader#deku smut#izuku smut#midoriya smut
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say amen (bkdk drabble)
(a little drabble based off of one of my favorite posts that ive ever made)
Katsuki’s not a religious man.
Yeah, okay, he believes in deities and goes to temples, the blond will admit that much. The existence of a higher power isn’t really that far from the realms of possibility when he regularly interacts with people who have the head of a bird or engines for legs. He celebrates the holidays, and on days where he’s feeling especially magnanimous, Katsuki even buys temple charms and sends out a quick prayer to whoever might be listening.
But he isn’t religious.
He doesn’t like feeling like he’s indebted to someone. That somehow, somewhere, there is someone Katsuki should be grateful to for giving him all his successes. He worked hard to get where he is now all by himself, thank you very much. The idea that everything is somehow predetermined or controlled by someone he can’t even see is one that makes the blond break out into hives.
A man with any dignity such as Katsuki’s is too proud to kneel to any god.
But then again… Izuku Midoriya is no such god.
He’s very much human, Katsuki would believe despite the seemingly endless strength his short and stocky figure possesses. He’s freckles and sunburns and scars and toothy smiles and everything that used to make the blond’s blood boil. Deku can’t dress himself nicely to save his life and sings All Might show tunes in the shower when he thinks no one can hear. Katsuki’s seen the boy throw up on his dumb red shoes and laugh so hard he scared himself with his own snorts.
He’s seen Deku at his worst. Crying and crumbling, body all bloodied and torn up after giving it his all. He’s seen him angry--borderline murderous even--with rage consuming him and leaving him gasping for breath as he saddles closer and closer to the line betwean life and death. He’s seen Deku broken and hollow, unable to eat for days and smelling like a decomposing corpse because the demons in his eyes had all but haunted him from even getting up to shower.
The point being, Katsuki knows that Izuku Midoriya is flawed.
He should, at least. Having seen these cracks and imperfections over and over should’ve cemented the idea that Deku was far from perfect. He sees sides of Deku that even their best friends, let alone the public have never seen. Bakugou knows that Izuku Midoriya is not a God--and is in fact very far from one.
But fuck if he doesn’t worship him like he is.
When Izuku confessed to him in their second year, Katsuki thinks that he learned what it feels like to die.
As dramatic as it sounds, it’s true. Watching those green eyes peel away from their locked gaze on his red ones to stare nervously at the ground causes Katsuki’s heart to jump. His palms were sweaty and blood roared in his ears, deafening him from all sounds except Deku’s voice. He’d initially thought that this was it. This was Deku preparing to tell him that he couldn’t stand being his friend anymore, that no matter how much Katsuki tried to atone for himself, Deku finally realized that Katsuki would never be worthy of his love.
It built up and up until Katsuki couldn’t breathe, willpower alone keeping him from gasping for breath as he awaited Deku’s rejection. The sun set in a brilliant cast of oranges and purples, but neither boy on the rooftop could stand to appreciate it when the sights in front of them were far more important.
“Kacchan,” he blurts at last. A sliver of his pink tongue peeks out to lick at his chapped lips. Katsuki’s chest constricts with want. “I like you.”
And it’s at those three words that Katsuki truly believes in an afterlife.
His heart clenches and stops for a different reason--a different feeling entirely. The world tilts on its axis and his breaths come up short, yet Katsuki’s never been happier to have been wrong. Parts of him shrivel up. Shudder in anxiety. Embers of raw anger and determination (leftover from years of scars and charred notebooks) tell him that he’s not worthy of Deku. That Katsuki is yet to even deserve to take the hand that has been waiting for him for his whole life.
Admittedly though, Katsuki Bakugou is a selfish, selfish man.
He stares at that freckled and blushing face like it’s a reflection of the universe itself. Green eyes that mistakenly take Katsuki’s silence as rejection grow watery, and yet as Katsuki stares into the molten pool of emerald and moss, he thinks he may see his entire life in those pretty eyes.
“...Kacchan? It’s okay if you don’t, uh, like me back. I u-understand if you feel uncomfortable or no longer want me be your friend even if it kinda s--”
“W-well really, it’s more of love. I... love you. Like, a lot. Have for a while I mean and I tried really hard to hide it but I’m sure it was obvious from the beginning and well, Uraraka said I was really bad at lying so I wasn’t really sure...” he mumbles. Stutters, because he’s human and very much not a god.
Katsuki Bakugou kisses Izuku Midoriya for the first time.
He kisses Izuku Midoriya because he wants all of him. He wants the sorrow and broken bones. The awkward laughter and nervous tics. Katsuki wants those green eyes to never stop looking at him and that mouth to never stop muttering the most inane nothings. He wants the beautiful and the ugly, the victories and the losses. He wants and he wants and he wants and he wants, and now that all of it is within his reach dear god is he never letting go.
The blond pours his soul into the kiss. Mouth harsh and unyielding, ever determined to prove to anyone watching that he’d throw away his life for this boy in a heartbeat. The desperation in their kiss practically daring anyone to try and pull them apart. Katsuki wants the kiss to say everything that he, in his weak and human state, cannot even begin to phrase. That somehow a single kiss could show the other that Katsuki loves him so much it breaks him inside. It’s so good that it’s painful. It’s painful and excruciating but fucking hell if Katsuki pulls away for one moment he thinks he might actually truly die.
They’re training to be pro-heroes, so of course their pain tolerance is higher than most. They’ve been taught to fight in any environment no matter what—could probably fight five people underwater for an hour without breaking a sweat. All of those hours of training somehow still mean nothing to Katsuki in the brilliance of the storm that is Izuku Midoriya.
Because as they kiss and breathe in each other’s air, Katsuki forces himself to pull away with a gasp.
Izuku thinks he’s hurt the blond accidentally, somehow. That he’d been too rough or pushed Bakugou into it or even just took his breath away from him in the literal sense. What the green-haired hero didn’t expect was the sheer devotion in ruby eyes.
(It would’ve scared him, if it didn’t make his knees shaky and heart rate speed up in exhilaration.)
Meanwhile, Katsuki’s drowning.
He’s drowning so deep in emotions that he’d never let himself feel until now. Drowning in his insecurities and greatest desires. Drowning in emotion and vigour. Drowning in the feeling of kissing Izuku fucking Midoriya. Part of him screams in agony, protesting this weakness as it fucks with his mind and squeezes at his heart.
The rest of him lets it happen.
Bakugou pulls away, gasping for breath. It’s too much and not enough, because he loves this boy so goddamn much that it actually hurts. He’s crying, and it’s kind of pathetic, really. So undone by a single kiss that tears streak down his face while white spots appear in vision of ruby eyes. A man so weak--so overcome with emotion that he can’t help but sob at the torrent of devotion that overtakes him. His heart throbs painfully and he struggles to take gulps of air, because Katsuki doesn’t truly love many people but there’s something about Izuku Midoriya that destroys him so thoroughly.
Ever understanding, ever patient, and ever too good for his damned, hell-bound soul, Izuku holds him close. He lets Katsuki weep into his jacket and runs scarred fingers through pale blond strands as the other boy tries to stifle his sobs. He hushes him with a light kiss to his temple and listens patiently as Katsuki whimpers every variant of ‘I love you’ under the sun.
Izuku Midoriya is no such god, but Katsuki Bakugou worships him like one nonetheless.
#AEFKSDJBDFMADKLDSWFRGJF#I DONT WRITE THAT MUCH IM SORRT IF THIS SUCKS#codi.docx#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#bkdk#deku#kacchan#bakudeku#katsudeku#dekubaku#dkbk#decchan#bakudeku fic#bkdk fanfic
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SFW Alphabet - Diavolo
I love Dia with all my heart, so I thought it was finally time I made a post for him
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
He is probably one of the more affectionate characters. Not many people are willing to get this close to him due to his status, so he is all over you the second you give him permission. His favorite form of affection is when you sit on his lap while he works.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
Him as a best friend is a lot of fun. He’ll constantly sneak out of the castle just to hang out with you. He’d probably also wear those silly disguises so no one recognizes him. You two go all over the Devildom and he takes you where ever you’d like. In the end, you two usually get busted by Barb or Luci, but it’s always worth it.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
Cuddles are literally his love language. He’s always coming up behind you and lifting you up into a hug or dragging you off to his room just to cuddle in bed. Being the prince of literal Hell can be so tiring, so cuddles are exactly what he needs after a long day. And once you two get into bed, you’re never leaving again.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
He knows that he can’t settle down, but he would love nothing more. Honestly, if it weren’t for his responsibilities, he would have already dragged you off to some secluded house in a forest somewhere to just live in peace. It’s also thanks to his status as prince that he doesn’t know any basic household chores. He cannot clean, and he can barely cook without burning down the whole kitchen. He’s had to rely on Barb and his other staff for so long, that he’s just never had to learn. He wants to, if only to impress you, but he never has the chance.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
I don’t think he’s ever even been in a relationship tbh, so he’s never had to break it off with someone. If he did have to, it would be bad. Like, I’m talking literal execution in front of everyone in the Devildom bad. He is a very patient demon who is very caring towards basically everyone. If he actually had to break it off, there would probably be blood. We don’t talk about it.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
As prince, he does technically have to find a spouse, so he’s down to get married if you are. However, the whole point of getting married for him is so that his partner can carry his heir, so if you can’t get pregnant that might be a problem. Not with him, not at all, but more so with Devildom law and such. Afterall, he needs an heir, and he can’t let someone have it if he isn’t planning on marrying them. He’d still marry you regardless though, so there’s nothing to worry about there.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
He is the gentlest giant you have ever seen in your whole life. He knows how big he is, and he knows how intimidating he can be, so he is very careful to make sure you know you can trust him. If he ever gets mad and feels like he might start yelling, he makes sure you are well out of range so that you don’t have to hear him. He also makes sure he never hugs you too hard or startles you without warning. He just wants to protect you, and that includes protecting you from himself if needed.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
A sucker for hugs, that’s what he is. It does not matter how, when, or where he hugs you, he just wants to, always and everywhere. If you’re in a place where he can’t out-right hug you, he has to be touching you somewhere. He’s lowkey possessive, so he loves any contact just to show others who you belong to. Hugs are just the best way to do that since they’re super obvious. And he also just loves you a lot and wants you to know.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
He’d say it relatively fast. he’s not one to waste time or lead someone on, so if he knew he loved you, he’d say it. He wouldn’t even care if you don’t say it back, he just wants you to know how he feels about you.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He gets insanely jealous, but he’s always good at hiding it. With all of the public appearances and people he’s had to deal with, he’s become a master actor. Inside, he could be fuming with jealousy when someone so much as looks at you, but no one will even know. He just puts on his classic smile and ask you to go with him somewhere for some “business” you have to attend. In reality, he just wants to drag you away for some cuddles to remind him that you’re his and you love him above all else.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
His kisses are usually rather soft cause he’s so afraid of accidentally hurting you in some way. They’re sweet and gentle, and so full of love. They don’t come as often since of how much he works, so that makes them all the better when they do.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He actually loves children, but they’re always so afraid of him. No kid would ever go up to him due to pure fear, so he never gets to interact with them. It really does make him quite sad since he would love to get to know the younger generation more, and he just finds them adorable. Maybe you can convince one (1) child to talk to him with the promise of candy after.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
He has to wake up pretty early for work, but he always makes sure you’re still comfy before he leaves. If you wake up with him, he’ll talk to you about what his day will be like while getting dressed. If you’re still asleep, he tries his best to stay quiet as he gets ready. No matter of you’re awake or not, he makes you stay in bed and brings (read: makes Barb bring) you breakfast in bed.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
He’s usually pretty tired by the end of the day, so he wants nothing more than to just pass out with you in his arms. However, he usually still has work to do even after dark, so he’s forced to stay up. During these times, he loves when you come over to him and just sit there while he works. That usually motivates him to finish up faster so that he can get cuddles. Once he hits that bed, it’s lights out for him.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
He seems like he would be an open book, but he really isn’t. Trust me, he’d love to be as open with you as possible, but he can’t. There are so many things he has to keep hidden due to his role as prince. Plus, he doesn’t have much to share since he can’t really get out much to being with. He tells you as much as he can, but he always has to stop himself before he goes too far.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
He is super patient. He’s always having to deal with less-than-ideal situations, so he’s built up a good amount of patience. Usually, he’s pretty chill, so when he snaps, it’s for a good reason.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
Quite honestly, his head is already filled with so much, so he can sometimes forget things you tell him. That’s why he has Barb write stuff down about you so that he won’t forget. He keeps all of these facts in a journal in his room, and you have no idea.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
He loves the first time you stayed over at the castle for the night. Not that time when everyone went over, but just when you came over. He was still busy with work at the time, and he loves how understanding you were about it. There was a short time where you left his room, and he was worried with how long you were gone. He was about to go look for you when you walk back in with some tea and snacks to help keep his energy up while he’s working. It was this moment when he knew he loved you. The fact that you cared this much for him really made him happy.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
He is more protective than anyone else. The entire castle staff will be told numerous times over that their number one priority is now to protect you, much to the annoyance of Luci and Barb. He also makes sure to keep you close whenever you go out, and he’s always touching you somewhere.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He would only have the best for you. Every date you two go on will be the most romantic thing you’ve ever witnessed. He would only calm down if you mentioned you prefer more lowkey dates, in which he immediately apologizes for not asking you first. He still wants to make them the best dates possible, but he’ll try and calm down a bit.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
He tends to overwork himself, often leaving you alone in favor of finishing his work. He also gets way too overprotective sometimes, even going so far as to drag you away the second he gets jealous.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
Like Luci and Barb, he only really cares about his looks because he knows he has to keep up appearances. He has to make a good name for himself, and looking good certainly helps. Barb also constantly pressures him into taking better care of his looks when he starts slacking off.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
It honestly depends on how close you two are. He’s used to people leaving him because they can’t handle being so close to the prince, so he might not even care if you leave him too. It’s only if you two have gotten super close that he might feel something if you were to leave him.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
Okay, so, this came completely out of nowhere, but I have always lowkey had a headcanon that he and Barb were in a QPR before. (for those who don’t know, it means queer platonic relationship). Anyway, I have no clue where I got this idea from, but it just makes sense to me. They probably broke it off once he showed romantic interest in you, but I promise they were in a QPR at one point.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
He wouldn’t like someone who would try and drag him away from his job. He wants someone who understands what it means to be the prince of the Devildom, and that includes them being aware of how much work he has and that he can’t just drop it all without planning even if he wants to
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
He’s bog, even for demon standards, so he tends to take up a lot of room. Honestly, he’s the kinda person that would spread out across the whole bed without a single care for who else might be in it. Let’s just say, you’ve fallen out of bed several times because he accidentally pushed you out.
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So, there’s this one angel story in the back of my head that I know I wont write. I wont write it, because it’s utter nonsense, with very little regard for the canonical timeline of Supernatural, and a willfully blurry view on what is and is not “in character.” It’s fluff. It’s all fluff, in the form of a bunch of smaller stories that gradually weave together, following the Love, Actually style of storytelling, but instead of problematic love stories, it’s all about angels playing hooky from Heaven after the Fall.
(Seriously, there is no substance here, I swear.)
Stories include Abner, living out the first half of the movie Family Man, struggling to figure out how to be a good father and house husband after he steps into the life of the raging alcoholic who agreed to be his vessel. There’s also a very minor story about Esther (not to be confused with Hester, who is not in this story because she never deserted her post in Heaven) learning to play the part of a little girl and navigating schoolyard politics, but kids can be mean and Esther learns the hard way that Michael’s approach to asserting dominance in Heaven does not translate well. There’s also Daniel and Adina, who both settle into vessels in the same movie theater where a romantic comedy is playing, and fall into a very innocent, play-acting sort of love after they leave the theatre—like little kids pretending to be in love, recreating the scenes from the movie, but at the same time not really understanding it. Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anael each trying to roll with the luxurious high roller life style, and awkwardly running into each other at VIP poker games, exclusive spas and clubs, and the occasional orgy that they promptly leave IMMEDATELY after running into a sibling (don’t give me weird looks, Balthazar and Gabriel canonically include that sort of thing in their definition of luxury, and the whole thing of their story is their siblings keep cramping their style). Tyrus is in there bowling, somewhere. Benjamin’s playing arcade games with his wife. And then there’s Thaddeus, my pet favorite minor angel character, realizing what’s happening as he’s falling with all the other faithful angels during the Fall and seizing the opportunity to abandon his life as a guard and torturer, settling into a pop star for his vessel—initially for the sake of the cushy lifestyle, but then gradually looking back, before the garden and Lucifer, before everyone was assigned a job in Heaven, like it or not, and the options were to adapt or to be smote, and remembering that back then, he could sing.
And of course, Michael and Adam get a story too—in which Michael lowkey gets into a pissing contest with death, as he and Adam travel the world, hitting up hospital after hospital to heal people. Because the first thing Adam wanted to do after getting out of the cage (okay, second thing—burgers came first) was go to the nearest medical center and start healing people left and right. And at first, they’re having a great time. Adam steals a white jacket he finds in the breakroom somewhere, and anytime someone says he looks a little young to be a doctor (Adam still looking nineteen years old, because I say so), Michael wipes the poor sap’s mind. But eventually—sometime after they’ve cleared out the children’s ward, the cancer ward, the cardiac ward—Billie shows up, sniping at them that they can’t just go around healing people who are destined to die, because there is an order to life and death that cannot be shoved aside. And Billie tries to make a show of it, as Terra did with Dean, by having several people who Adam had healed over the course of the day inadvertently cause several massive accidents. The news suddenly comes pouring out of the television, channels flipping as newscasters talk about tragedies occurring in several different parts of the city they’re currently in. The sound of approaching ambulance sirens fills the air, as in the hospital hallway, doctors and nurses begin hurrying to receive a rush of ER patients.
Adam’s horrified.
Michael does not take kindly to this. He snaps his fingers and makes it so that the carnage has never happened. Because he is the archangel Michael, only two steps away from being a god, and if he says that all of these people are going to live, then they are going to live, and he WILL NOT be intimidated, especially by an amateur reaper whose only qualification for her position was dying at the right time.
Billie in turn lands Michael with a cold stare, and points out that the order to life and death is beyond even God’s authority, let alone daddy’s blunt, sniveling instrument.
As Michael’s eyes start to glow, Adam steps in and says, “So, to be clear, you want us to stop healing people on the verge of death? We can do that.”
After Billie leaves, Michael is outraged, but Adam says, “No, Michael, THINK about it.”
We then cut to other stories, where newscasts in the background reveal that ailments that are not IMMIEDATELY fatal (AIDs, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, etc.) are mysteriously disappearing overnight, worldwide.
Billie is not amused, and tells her reapers to be on the lookout for an archangel at every major hospital in the world.
Cut to Michael throwing open the door of the bunker, muttering aloud to Adam that he’s going to do it, he’s going to bind Death, just like Lucifer did—how hard can it be? Sam and Dean see him as he goes stomping off toward the cabinet where they keep all of their magical dry goods, but Michael snaps his fingers and the two of them are abruptly half drunk in Dean’s man cave, sitting in front of Dean’s flat screen TV, watching some campy monster movie, because that’s lowkey what Michael and Adam assume they do all day.
As they’re raiding Sam and Dean’s supplies though, Adam says, “Wait, I have an idea.”
Cut to Abner looking up while pushing his vessel’s daughter in a park swing, and literally seeing Michael and Adam chasing an ambulance, so they can technically heal the person inside before reaching the hospital.
Yes, I’m aware that Abner was dead by the time Michael and Adam got out of the cage. But see, this story? This story is like when someone gifts you a goldfish unexpectedly, and you put it in a bowl, checking in to feed it a couple times a day, lowkey expecting it to die. But it doesn’t die, it gets bigger. And you’re not a cruel person, so you put it in a bigger tank, but it just gets bigger again, and you don’t really know what’s going on, but you know, you just kind of keep checking in, meeting the minimum requirements but not really getting in there as a guiding force because it’s a goldfish and it’s surely going to die any minute now—but then you look over and there’s giant tank taking up your living room, and you’re thawing out bloodworms twice a day, and looking into tankmates to keep Charles company, and realize that “Oh wow, I guess this is a thing now.”
In short, the story says we’re ignoring the timeline, and it’s calling the shots. I’m just keeping the tank clean.
The angels all eventually wind up running into each other. Abner and Esther happen upon one another in a park, where Esther is morosely realizing that she is terrible at being a human child but she does not want to go home to Heaven, and it just happens to be the same park where Abner goes with his “little nibblet” once a day to let her toddle around the playground while he chats with nannies and other house parents. Anael, Adina, and Daniel meet up when the latter two’s game has reached the point where they’ve decided to get married, and they apparently need to buy something new—preferably blue—as per this very important rhyme someone told them about. Esther and Gabriel run into each other in an ice cream parlor. Thaddeus gets recognized while doing an interview on TV that everyone sees. And, while out joyriding in a Lamborghini, on their way to meet up with the growing community of angels who decided to opt out of their responsibility to Heaven and their father’s legacy, Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anael are all startled to see Michael land on an ambulance stopped next to them at a red light.
Balthazar and Anael are both terrified, as if they’ve just been busted by a parent, because Michael, of course, is the guy who enforces the rules, and isn’t he supposed to be in Hell? They both shoot Gabriel looks as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing’ when Gabriel, watching as Michael climbs down and matter-of-factly wrenches the ambulance doors open, calls out, “Hey, Mike! Is that you?”
Michael looks over, freezes for a second—not prepared to be suddenly thrust into a social situation in the middle of his self-imposed mission to spite death—then his eyes flash and Adam takes over. “Oh hey, you’re Michael’s family? What a small world! I’m Adam, I’ve heard so much about you. Wait, hang on—”
The light starts to turn green, but Adam snaps his fingers and it promptly reverts to red.
Three jaws drop in the luxury car, and they don’t even hear Adam politely explain that he and Michael are in the middle of something, as he ducks into the ambulance, because Michael’s evidently letting a tiny human use his powers like it’s nothing, and what does that mean?
“Sweet dad in the unknown, Michael’s shagging a human. . .”
“Nooo!”
“HOW?”
“Hey, kid, you like weddings?”
At some point in the story, all the MIA angels are together, and Benjamin or someone comes running in saying, “Quick, they’re coming! Everyone hide!”
And everyone scatters, except for Michael, who stands in place, saying, “Gabriel, we’re archangels, two of the most powerful beings in existence. Why would we—”
And then Gabriel picks Adam up like a sack of potatoes and sprints off, calling back, “Trust me, you do NOT want to get involved with them!”
Being a projection, Michael is obligated to follow.
Team Free Will then walks by, looking constipated from whatever Big Awful Thing is currently threatening to destroy the world.
The story, of course, culminates in the wedding of Adina and Daniel, who still don’t quite understand what marriage is beyond promising to love each forever, which of course they will, after all, they are the very best of friends—which is about the same concept that most of the other angels present have. Adam is the first one to actually approach the big awkward question, upon finding out who the bride and groom are.
“Wait, aren’t they brother and sister?”
To which Serafina’s Adam, (who is of course there since Serafina was the original angel to play hooky) whose sons married his daughters, and all the angels, who do not understand what that has to do with anything, all cock their heads in unison and respond with, “So?”
Adam struggles to find words, looking into so many innocent faces. Then Benjamin’s wife puts a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “Shhh, let them have their fun.”
Benjamin’s wife and the two Adams wind up sitting at the venue’s bar, where they order nachos from a very confused bar tender, and watch as the angels go about setting up a wedding. But given that most angels haven’t been on earth regularly in roughly two thousand years, none of them have a clear grasp of what a human wedding entails.
“I heard it’s traditional for the father to give away the bride.”
“I think they’re supposed to kiss over bread.”
“Do humans still slaughter cows at these things?”
“I’m pretty sure someone is supposed to break a glass—”
Several angels promptly throw glassware on the floor.
At no point do the angels ask the humans for advice.
Occasionally, Gabriel knowingly throws out obscure details to keep the confusion going.
“You know, the groom needs to stand with the right arm to the aisle in case a sword fight breaks out.”
“Right! . . .How do we know which one’s the groom?”
At the bar, Adam open’s his mouth to say something, but the original Adam shushes him.
“No no, son, let them get there.”
The angels agree that being the better fighter, Adina should be the groom.
They’re nearly ready to start when Michael suddenly doubles over with his hand over his mouth. It coincides with the sound of Adam pounding the bar top, having just eaten a Carolina Reaper pepper on dare. Michael’s eyes quickly flash silver-blue as he straightens, and both he and Adam are abruptly fine—even if their eyes are still watering somewhat. But a different sort of damage has already been done, as Anael, Balthazar, and Gabriel all abruptly turn toward the triad of humans, having been reminded that the Michael walking around with them is actually a projection. In actuality, Michael is anchored to the human ex-college student sitting at the bar.
All three of them rush toward Adam, but Serafina gets there first, asking Adam if he’s ever tried mushroom tea.
Balthazar gets there next.
“Adam, was it? We didn’t get to talk in the car, let’s fix that. Are you over twenty-one? You know what, this is a family affair, don’t worry—CAN I GET TWO SHOTS OF DON JULIO OVER HERE?”
From that point on, any time Adam turns around, there’s one of Michael’s siblings, wanting to get to know him—by consuming some sort of beverage. Because Adam and Michael are sharing body—and that means they share a liver too. A bet ensues as to how much it will take to get God’s alleged favorite wasted.
Gabriel’s actually one of the first out, having been convinced that Michael would be a lightweight. Little does he suspect that Benjamin and his wife caught onto what was happening soon after Adam was fed his third long island iced tea and second jager bomb, and began quietly cleansing the alcohol from his system through casual shoulder pats and high fives.
Adam does not know what to make of any of this, but it’s Michael’s family and he wants to make a good impression, so he just goes with it.
Thaddeus, of course, is in charge of music, Gabriel and Esther consume the majority of the cake, and Michael catches the bouquet (he may have cheated after finding out what the bouquet toss is for).
#my thoughts#lowkey might be putting this idea out so it'll leave me alone#midam#supernatural angels#the divine shurley family
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Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀
No sorry needed!
I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.
Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?
Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.
So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.
That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.
Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!
Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.
When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.
Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.
Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.
Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.
Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.
As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.
Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.
Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.
Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.
“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”
Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.
It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.
Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.
No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.
Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.
Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.
Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)
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I Miss my Brother
Featuring: Wrecker's internal monologue
I made a post some time again that explained Crosshair has to be a mathlete due to his sharp-shooter skills. Then recently, I came up with the idea that Tech always has Crosshair double check his downtime math. But since Crosshair isn't there, Tech's one wrong answer away from losing his shit. Also- another headcanon: Wrecker is very good with emotions, not his own, but others. He's good at comforting and can read someone's mood real quick.
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There are very few things that'll wake up Wrecker in an instant. A crashing ship, Crosshair's laugh, and Echo's cold metal feet against his not metal and not cold body. Oh, and of course, a cry. Yes, those are the four things that will get Wrecker up in a second. Which is why, when he heard a whimper, his eyes shot open. He sat up quietly, 'When they're upset, be slow and quiet, it'll keep them from giving into their stubborn instincts to shove everything down-'
Wrecker scanned the room and found Tech sitting at their fold out table, with several papers spread before him and the fast clicking of a calculator. 'Shit. He's doing math.' Wrecker would never understand how Tech stays on the ship to do math. 'Crosshair does that too but he just takes out all his snipers and giggles like a creep' Wrecker narrowed his eyes and shook his head, not the point. "Uh, Tech?" Wrecker asked.
"I thought I broke my calculator, but it just died." Tech looked up slowly, Tech's goggles had been pushed up, "Then I realized, I cannot use it while it's charging so I fixed that."
"Did you shock yourself or something?" Wrecker asked as he got up and sat across from Tech, who ran his hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.
"No, I've done this problem six times," He looked down and wrote something frantically, "Seven times." He corrected himself. He sounded exhausted, "I can't get passed this problem." Wrecker frowned, 'Tech's not wearing his glasses. Yeah, cause he's gonna cry, why do you think you woke up?!'
"Uh, why?" Wrecker asked as Tech rested his head on the table as he started the problem again. He picked up a piece of paper Tech had covered in the same problem, "I don't see what's wrong, you have plenty of formulas, and those you just plug things into."
"I don't either, Crosshair always checked my math and I know I am correct but I am feeling a great amount of discomfort without his reassurance." Tech whined as he erased his work and started to do the same problem again, for the eighth time, "Also... I'm not correct this time, I have gotten a different answer every time and I cannot figure out why."
Wrecker bit his check, sadness settling in as he watched Tech work frantically, he was stressing himself out, and when Tech stresses out, 'he'll psyche himself out which'll stress him out more. Tech: needs a solution as comfort, hugs won't comfort him, so don't hug him unless he hugs you!' Wrecker nodded to the voice in his head. 'Other solution bud!'
"You're stressed, you should take a quick break." Wrecker suggested.
"No, no I don't need a break, I need to figure out what I am doing wrong." Tech shook his head. Wrecker nodded, he could tell by the look of pure dismay on Tech's face, he was one more wrong answer away from a breakdown. Wrecker continued to watch Tech and tilted his head as Tech snapped his pencil, he grabbed his glasses and slammed them down, they hit the table and bounced to the floor, "I need Crosshair!" He cried, burying his head in his hands, 'I'm not as good as he is.'
"But he's not here-"
"Don't you think I know that?!" Tech hissed, looking up, Wrecker's mouth opened slightly, he hated seeing Tech so unhappy. It didn't even matter that Tech had yelled at him, 'He's in pain, and I'm not the brother he needs. What would the others do?,'
Wrecker begun to think, 'Echo: he'd sit there, pat him on the back, try to learn it and do it for Tech. No no, that wouldn't work, even if Echo solved it correctly, Tech wants to solve it himself and Echo won't remember what he did. So no on Echo, got it! Hunter: He'd make Tech take a break, he needs it, he's literally crying Wrecker! I know, Wrecker but that'll just postpone the solving of this problem and that stresses him out. So no on Hunter too, I guess? Okay, what about Omega? Omega? Wrecker, do you really wanna make her worry? Kid's don't solve grown-up problems, especially emotionally ones, we're all doing pretty shitty in that department so let's not make her think she has any other job besides being our child. Wait- was that Hunter's voice, what's he doing here?-'
Wrecker looked around, Hunter wasn't here, it was just him and Tech. Wait- he knew Hunter wouldn't be back for a while. Wait, not the point, Wrecker! He looked to his brother, 'Aw man, he's really not okay. Hurry up! Okay, okay, uh, us? Us?! Well, okay leeme think, Wrecker: Good at hugs, not as smart as Tech so I couldn't learn it on my own, I don't wanna postpone Tech's stress 'cause he's probably dehydrated and hungry. Not to mention he's been finding excusing not to sleep because without- oh! I know!'
"Oh! I know!" Wrecker looked up with a wide grin, "Teach it to me!" 'I won't understand shit but you'll slow down 'cause you know that makes it easier for me to follow. Hey! We're only talking about you here.' Wrecker made a face, one that disappeared when he saw Tech's face.
"What?" His voice was barely audible, he'd never felt this pathetic. Oh, and his face, it was forever embedded in Wrecker's mind, all the pain Tech easily stowed was so present, all the pain from Crosshair's abscene too. Wrecker had never felt more useless.
"...Uh, yeah, Walk me through the problem, you know how to do it,so by walking me through it, you'll catch whatever's wrong." Wrecker mumbled out, his voice was quiet, partly due to shock, but mainly fear. He didn't have another solution, 'We do actually, it's to pull him into a hug and just let him cry. He needs it, but the last time Tech cried-'
"That's... actually a good idea." Tech said slowly. In that moment, all of Wrecker's growing worry that his brother had finally broke, vanished. Tech slumped his shoulders as he stared at his crumpled papers and snapped pencil. "... It's a good idea, really, it is, but I just can't do this anymore." Tech sighed, standing up.
'Uh... What? That is NOT Tech talking, Wrecker you broke him, you broke our little brother, you big slug, you-' Wrecker's mind then truly stopped working as Tech hugged him. 'NOW THIS REALLY DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE-'
"I'm gonna take a nap instead." Tech mumbled, closing his eyes as he hugged his brother, "I need a very long nap that is actually classified as sleeping." Wrecker slowly nodded, as he wrapped his arms around Tech.
"...Yeah, we can do that." Wrecker said slowly as he walked them to a bed. "We can take a nap, that's an awesome idea Tech." Wrecker yawned, leaning back. "You're super cool and smart and occasionally funny and-" Wrecker had rambled but as they dozed to sleep, all he could say was, "..and I love you."
"I love you, too."
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#hopefully this is edited#if it's not sorry#it's been sitting in my drafts#let the angst trickle in#clones#clone wars#star wars#tcw#sw#tech#bad batch#wrecker#crosshair#I thought it was actually quite sweet#and soft#but angsty
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Mess We Made - second (m)
Pairing: Baekhyun x reader
Genre: arranged marriage au (not bbh), doctor AU, university AU (this chapter only), fluff, ANGST
Words: 12K
WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, terrible family relations, stalking
Quick A/N: Goodness. This is long. I need to sleep! ENJOY! And thank you for patiently waiting ❤
tags: @byunfirstlady @blackon @puppyeoliepop @in3vitably3v3 @mangobaek @bobohumyonlyboo @wooya1224 @exortedgoods @gureuma ( if you want to be tagged/untagged please reply to this post)
>> A very special shoutout to @byunfirstlady because she rocks and deserves all the best! ><
parts: first -- second -- third -- fourth (last)
Mess We Made, part 2
Gentle puffs of hot air were hitting the shell of your ear as he was whispering something to you. The tip of his nose was poking you in the side of your cheek and you giggled, squirming away from him but his hand under your shirt and on your hip were preventing you from doing so.
“Where are you off to,” he whispered teasingly again, smiling widely as he bit your earlobe gently while his arm tightened around you. He wasn’t letting you squirm away that easily. “It’s too early.”
“You literally didn’t let us sleep the whole night,” you whispered back, still shimmying under his wandering hand. “It’s basically time to get up and my eyes are stinging from having no rest,” you pouted, blinking them a few times to prove a point. You were lying on your back while Baekhyun was propped on one elbow, hovering over you. Baekhyun’s shirt was the only piece of clothing on you. While he was completely naked, it seemed to be his second nature by now. After so much time together, his personality and preferences were more than familiar to you.
“Because I want to enjoy you as much as I can. And because I don’t want you to go,” he whined quietly and you giggled again, turning on your side to face him, hiding in his chest. “I really don’t want you to go, love. What do I do?”
You kissed his chest and looked up at him with a small smile. “I won’t go then.”
Baekhyun returned the smile but there was something in his eyes- that something giving you slight uneasiness. He was hesitating. Usually, he would immediately agree and it wasn’t like he had to beg you to stay; if anything, you had to beg him to kick you out because there was no way you would willingly leave his place and his warmth by your own choice.
“But I will have to go,” you added, verbalizing the sentence he secretly wished to hear but wouldn’t voice it. “Since my parents are waiting for me.” You didn’t give two damns about your parents. You really, really didn’t. But Baekhyun did. So you should, too.
Baekhyun caressed your hip bone, his hand sliding over your tummy where he tickled you, causing you to squirm once again under his touch. “I will meet you later, if you want,” he said, smiling when he saw your lips widely stretched in a silent laugh. “We can go to the coffee shop and be a little productive.”
You groaned, hiding your face in his chest again. Baekhyun let his hand slide over your back, enjoying the warmth your skin was emitting. “I don’t want to study. I want to cuddle you and kiss you and just feel you.”
Baekhyun’s chuckle was quiet but so handsome. He kissed your neck lovingly, puckering his lips three, four times. His lips were so smooth and soft; you wished you could stop the time now and live in the moment forever. “You felt me the whole night, didn’t you?” he rasped.
“Besides,” you added and leaned back a bit to look at his affectionate gaze. “We have some free time now before university starts.” His messy hair was falling over his eyes and you hummed, sliding your fingers through the strands, brushing them back and revealing his forehead. “Let’s make the most out of that. Just you and me.”
The air in the room felt warm. Whether it was from the activities you did the whole night or because you simply couldn’t not blush under his hooded eyes, you wouldn’t know. But when he leaned in to kiss you, unable to hold back any longer, you knew it was simply Baekhyun’s presence that was keeping you hot inside. With his hand on your naked skin, with his tongue teasing your lips or just a simple smile was what kept you burning hot, passion swallowing you and blinding you at the same time. If you were to keep walking, it was because of him. Thanks to him.
//
There were no cars parked in front of your house as you typed in the code for the tall wooden gate. Usually, there was some guest present but it was unusually peaceful. It almost made you excited because you naively believed your parents wouldn’t be home. Them not being home equaled time to yourself and more time to think through how you would approach the upcoming (dreader) discussion.
Stupid marriage, you thought unhappily as you entered the house. Making a beeline towards the kitchen, you were surprised yet again to find it empty. Wasn't it almost lunch time? Where were the maids? And the cooks?
It was all too strange which made you walk around, what was an obviously empty, house in order to find someone. Sure, your house was huge, and getting easily lost in it was a common issue for guests who were not hosted well, but this was beyond everything you expected.
Making the final decision to check your father’s office, you stopped in front of the sturdy wooden door. No sounds were coming from there, but the wood was too thick anyways. Clearing your throat gently, you opened the door and walked in the spacious room. It was also vacant, his chair turned to the side as if someone stood up from it in a hasty manner. Some documents were scattered around his otherwise well-organized table, so there wasn't anything out of ordinary until you felt a presence behind you, and you turned. You let out a shocked gasp when you saw your mother’s strict, emotionless face while standing straight with her arms crossed on her chest. She was, as per usual, well-dressed, her make-up one shade too light for her darker skin making her seem almost lifeless. You shuddered, but before you could react, she snapped.
“Do you like what you see? Empty house, no maids to run around you nor your family to welcome you?”
This time, you were really startled by her words. “What?”
“This is what will happen if you continue disobeying us, dear daughter. There won't be anyone to tend to your needs, no one to cook for you, to clean for you, not even me and your father will be there if you continue meeting that boy.”
You snorted, disbelief written all of your face as you sent daggers with your eyes. She dared to attack and mention Baekhyun again? “What is wrong with you-”
“Where were you last night until now?”
Scrambling to compose your still shocked state, you muttered: “You know where I was.”
She let out a humorless laugh and you noticed her jaw clenching. “What do you think you are doing? What were you even doing?” She reached out to the collar of your dress and yanked it sideways, revealing your collarbones along with your shoulder. Even though you didn't see exactly what she was looking at, you knew very well what she found there. You felt your heart jump in fear.
“Fooling around with him in bed?” she grumbled and snapped her cold eyes at you. “Letting him mark you? You little bitch.” The back of her hand landed with your cheek, the sting bringing tears to your eyes as your head snapped to the side, your hair covering half of your face from the strong blow. “How stupid must you be to be this irresponsible?!”
You held the abused cheek, biting your lip hard to prevent you from letting out a sob. You turned at her. “How dare you! I told you I will not comply and let that other man touch me-”
Her hand landed again on your cheek; the other one. “Wrong answer.”
You stepped away from her before she could hit you again, now letting the tears fall from your eyes. “You're crazy, mother,” you whispered, “you and father are both crazy.”
“That other man is your future husband,” she seethed, making a menacing step closer to you which prompted you to step back. “And he won't accept you cheating behind his back with some kid-”
“Stop talking about him like he is a no one!” you screeched loudly, losing your calm, surprising your mother and yourself in the process. Seeing your mother was finally silenced, you added: “He is the one I love, mum! I already said I will marry the guy, but you cannot take Baekhyun away from me! He is the only good thing I have in my life,” you cried. Your tears were scorching hot on your already reddened cheeks, just like Baekhyun's warmth that you were supposed to leave behind.
“The only good thing?” she repeated, disgusted. “After everything we have provided for you - you always had food and luxury! The least you can do to repay us is to do as we say!” she shouted, swishing her hands in the air. “I didn't even tell you off when you kept bringing bad grades home. I didn't bother. After all, you went to a useless, regular high school with no reputation. But right now, when I am telling you to do as I say, you decide to go against me?! I won't tolerate it! You will break up with him, and you will marry Mr Kwon. I made arrangements already, and he won’t impregnate you until you are done with university.”
Your gasp was loud, overwhelming the both of you, but your mother was faster to brush it off and continue with her nonsense. Her words were like a cut of a dagger; precise, because she knew your weak points, and very painful, because her goal was to wound you and eventually destroy you, leaving you in pain that would make you surrender to her orders.
“Impregnate?” you finally let out, voice trembling. “What the actual hell! I TOLD YOU. I am not letting him touch me.”
“Well,” she pressed an ugly, wrinkly smile, “you will have to. We need an heir. A boy.”
Sick. You were sick to your stomach at the idea of Mr Kwon smiling at you, let alone touch you at your most private parts and let him take you. The idea was maddening, and you desperately wanted to pull at your hair, hoping it would be a good enough sign for your mother to understand you didn't want to be part of an arranged marriage.
“Mum,” you whimpered finally, letting more tears fall as you connected your hands in front of your chest, pleading. “Mum, please. Don't do this. I will… I will do anything else you want me to, but please… You can't simply let him sleep with me.”
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You're acting as if you haven't been bedded already,” she said through gritted teeth. She was so disgusted by you, you couldn't help but take the hurt. Family was supposed to support you, be warm and kind and helpful, but her and your father were anything but. However, it never ceased to hurt you; the way she looked impersonal towards you, and right now, disgusted. As if you were some trash; someone unworthy of love and understanding.
“Please,” you whispered, closing your eyes for a moment.
“Wash up,” she grumbled resolutely before her eyes fell on the still exposed shoulder, “and hide that stupid mark with some make-up. Mr Kwon will be over for dinner-”
“NO!” you screeched, stomping your foot. “I WILL NOT MEET HIM!”
“Unless you want me to beat you up until your pretty-for-nothing face is marked just like he marked your neck, then I advise you to go. Wash. Up.” She turned around and walked away with resolute steps.
There was a crack within you; it literally felt like a knife slashing through your weak organ that was your heart.
“You’re cruel, mother!” you shouted after her, despite her not paying you any more attention, and you ran out of the office and up the wide staircase that would lead you to the only place you could hide in. Your room.
Shaky hands grabbed at the hair tie, yanking it out of your hair and throwing it across the spacious room. It was followed by your dress, also thrown to the other side while you stomped to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind you. Its surface was cold on the skin of your naked back as you slid down, sobbing.
How many times have you been in this position already? How many times have you cried like this, despair pooling in the pit of your stomach, hoping, praying that things would somehow magically turn over and you’d feel some sort of relief? That relief never came and your misery would only worsen. Maybe it was exactly because of your high hopes, you thought as your sobbing slowly ceased, leaving you with only quiet whimpers and a throbbing headache. Maybe it was because, at the end of the day, you’d have Baekhyun who would bring out all the best and kindest and the most positive parts out of your suffering soul.
The thought of him made you only weep again, but you became determined as well. For him, you’d do anything. Anything.
He said to obey.
And you would.
//
Just before the main guest would arrive, your mother pushed a familiar pink gift bag into your hand. “You didn’t even open this ever since you decided to grace us with your presence,” she pressed through her gritted teeth, holding back from raising her voice. As much as she wished to smack you, she also didn’t want to cause a ruckus just before Mr Kwon would arrive. She needed you to look your best, which you did. “Open it and make sure to mention the gift,” she ordered and took a sharp look-over at your dressed up figure.
As promised, you hid all the hickeys Baekhyun left on you blinded by his passion and desire last night. The polite black dress was hugging your curves just in the gentlest ways, not too much but still leaving a good image of what you were hiding underneath. The colour of your stockings was of your skin, but with a glistening touch, making your legs look more desirable. Hair politely combed, wavy at the ends and tucked behind your ears. Perfect.
“Finally you know how to dress up properly to your age,” mumbled your mother. When you didn’t respond and averted your gaze to the ground, she hesitated before heaving out a sigh. “He’ll be here soon,” she turned around to leave your room. “Prepare.”
You were surprised when your mother shut the door quietly behind herself, giving you the necessary time to actually get ready and collect your thoughts.
The bag, just as yesterday, felt heavy in your fingers and you decided to finally take out the small, cream-coloured box, most probably promising a pricey gift. Sitting down at the edge of your bed, you quickly opened it to find a pretty set of earrings and a necklace. Earrings consisted of two pearls while the necklace was a simple silver necklace with a single pearl in the middle.
Noticing their unusual shape, you could tell right away that they were real pearls. Each piece of irregular shape made the actual stone throw all kinds of colors of the rainbow. It was beautiful, it really was, but not something you’d expect from someone you had never met. It strengthened the idea that what was about to go down in the future was, in fact, real. He was pursuing you.
Sighing tiredly, you felt your eyes burning up once again but was abruptly stopped when your phone vibrated on the vanity where you left it. Quickly moving to take it, you instantly smiled when you saw Baekhyun’s picture and his caller ID on display.
“Baby,” you sighed breathily, eager to hear his voice.
First you heard his handsome chuckle before he spoke: “My princess. Just wanted to check on you. I told you to text me once you’re home,” he scolded gently.
You bit your lip before quickly releasing it, remembering you had lipstick on. “Sorry I got… busy,” you murmured eventually. Not sure whether to tell him about the dinner, you decided to keep quiet. If he heard your uncertainty, he’d know something was up right away.
He hummed. “There was no trouble, right?” His voice was careful, hesitant. He always trusted you but he also knew you would lie if he asked.
You lied anyway. “Of course. You know I’m not that easily breakable, right? There is no need to worry, Baekhyun.”
He sighed. “I always worry about you.” And about your family hurting you. He kept that to himself though. “But as long as I hear your voice and know your fine, it’s more than enough.”
You closed your eyes, desperately wishing you could be with him, in his bed, while he studied and you’d observe him. Anything would be better than the situation you were in now. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” he was fast to reply. “Always. I missed you even before you left this morning.”
You giggled, covering your mouth even though no one saw you. “I’ll gladly sneak out tonight.”
“No. Stay home. Don’t want you getting into trouble-“
“You know I’d do it even with you disapproving.”
“Oh, I know you would, sweetheart. I know.”
“I’d do anything for you, Baekhyun,” you whispered, “in a heartbeat.”
He was silent for a moment. You weren’t sure why he wasn’t replying, but then again, your words bore quite a powerful meaning. “And I’d do anything to protect you and keep you happy.”
Burning tears came to life when you heard his low voice, sending shocks down your body. “Then never leave me.”
Silence again.
“Baekhyun,” you muttered, “promise me you won’t leave me.”
Why wasn’t he replying as fast as he did just a few moments ago? Were you asking for too much? Were you crossing boundaries? That made you scoff. You and him had such a strong and intimate relationship, there was no space for any boundaries. Your relationship seemed to be limitless.
“I won’t leave you, love,” was his answer finally. “I love you too fucking much for me to leave you.”
“Then that’s enough,” you sighed shakily, knowing it was time for you to hang up and face the dreaded. “As long as I know you love me and won’t leave me, all will be well.”
//
The silence in the dining room was one of the worst things your life had put you through. The chewing sounds, clinking of the cutlery along with slurping were the only noises that you heard physically, while your mind was about to explode with your thoughts.
Mr Kwon was sitting directly opposite you, to your misfortune, while your parents were seated in their usual spots, your father being at the head of the table. It was almost the absolute end of you when the servers put octopuses on the table as the main dish. Shooting them a horrified glare, they could only widen their eyes at you, silently asking for your forgiveness when they knew octopuses made you puke your guts out. Just the sight triggered your gag reflex and you ended up swallowing the rice through the wrong pipe, causing you to start a spree of aggressive coughing. Definitely not lady-like.
“Oh my, look at you,” chided your mother who was next to you, tapping your back with good enough power. “You eat too fast, darling,” she said knowingly and when you turned to glare at her, she only chuckled, taking in your red face.
“Maybe have octopuses,” suggested Mr Kwon with a chuckle as he reached for one right away. “They certainly won't make you suffocate.”
Your presence alone is suffocating enough, you thought bitterly but made sure to break a smile to show respect even though it was killing you. Quickly reaching for a jar with water, you wanted to pour yourself some very much needed liquid when you saw the man's hand in your line of vision, and he poured you water.
“Eat carefully, miss,” he murmured, giving you the slightest of honest smiles.
You bowed your head in gratitude before gulping down. It gave you the relief you desperately seeked, but the sight of the octopuses was creating an uncomfortable bulge in your stomach.
“So, now that we enjoyed the main dishes, we shall talk about some business, what do you say, Mr Kwon?” suggested your father in a friendly manner, connecting his fingers as he rested his elbows on the table.
Mr Kwon nodded. “Oh, yes, we shall do that. The meal was terrific, by the way.”
“Thank you, I will make sure to tell the kitchen staff,” smiled brightly your mother, hiding her grin behind her hand. You tried not to shudder at the tense, over-polite atmosphere, but on the other hand you were dying to find out more about your fate. With Baekhyun on your mind, you braced yourself, ready to fight for whatever was to come.
Your father gave you a brief glance before facing the expectant Mr Kwon. “Well, I suppose we should set a wedding date. Given we discussed most of the business part, we should now focus on you and our daughter.”
“Yes, yes. I would like to suggest marriage once she enters university,” proposed Mr Kwon importantly and you felt blood leaving your face immediately. “As you know, I would also like to get to know her better and I believe that if we will start our marriage early on, we both can earn ourselves some valuable time before starting a family. I also do not want her to steer away from me too much.”
No. No, no, no. “Actually, may I say-”
“No, you may not,” muttered your mother, squeezing your thigh under the table. She quickly looked at Mr Kwon who had a questioning look. “Would you like the ceremony when her first semester starts? You see, she is a good student, so I'd like her not to steer away from her studies too much.”
Surprised, you stole a glance at your mother, but she was facing your future husband. Your heartbeat was frantic in your chest and you swore you would pass out at the idea of your mother trying to protect you in some twisted manner, despite her fighting you like a wild bull.
“What do you suggest, then?” asked Mr Kwon, his attention fully on your mother.
She took a deep breath and her hand left your thigh, leaving behind a warm, but uncomfortable feeling on your skin. “Marriage after graduation.”
The man in question raised his eyebrows slowly, thinking over the suggested idea. Meticulously, he scrutinized your mother before his eyes fell on your wavering gaze. It was almost scorching, and you couldn't help but look down at your lap where your hands were politely connected. Noticing the sickeningly white skin of your knuckles, you didn't realize you were squeezing them together in order to fight the nerves.
“Alright,” he rasped eventually, causing you to raise your head in hope. “Under some conditions, though.”
Your heart died a little bit at that, but it didn't matter. You had four years ahead. Four years of freedom. With Baekhyun. “I am to do what my initial plan was,” he started, “and that is to get to know my future wife well. I do respect her needs, however I would like to visit her on various occasions and take her out, too. She shouldn't be a newbie to the house where I live in, so I demand to have at least one night with her-”
“Oh, Mr Kwon,” chimed in your mother nonchalantly, while your father shot her a warning look, “let me remind you that we would like our daughter to finish her bachelor degree on time. Which means we wouldn't want unwelcome pregnancies or such.”
Your throat went dry and you almost whimpered at the horrific idea.
“Are you suggesting no physical contact until after marriage?”
“Excuse me,” you said in a tiny tone, withering under the adults' strict gazes, “but this is my life and my body we talk about here.” You bravely looked at Mr Kwon's face. “As much as I understand and respect your request, I do not wish to do anything more until we know each other well enough,” you hesitated, before adding, “until I feel ready. You know yourself that I am still young and have a desire to live a little bit before I will settle down with you.”
“By living a little bit I hope you do not mean finding other boyfriends,” he cut in, the slightest of scoffs tinting his voice. “From this moment on, you are to tend to me only.”
“Actually-”
“Actually,” this time your mother cut in, her hand back on your thigh, wordlessly silencing you, “we understand your request.” She paused and you held your breath. “We agree, of course. She shouldn't be seeing anyone else besides you.”
“And has she been seeing anyone else before?” quipped Mr Kwon, leaning back in his chair, his stance somehow lazy. “Does she have experience? Has she been bedded before?”
You winced and your head snapped to your father, your eyes pleading with him to do something.
“I'd rather not…” your father trailed off, obvious discomfort on his face, “talk about this. We promised you our daughter and we are willing to make the wedding ceremony once she graduates in four years. Until then, you are to pursue her,” he decided, authority now dripping from his voice. “Feel free to contact her, but our conditions are as I stated just now. Marriage after graduation. Otherwise, we comply with your requests to be with her. She won't be seeing anyone else. Do not worry, Mr Kwon.”
Mr Kwon was watching you and that scared you. Was the fact that you were in a relationship written all over your face? You hoped not, even though you desperately wanted to tell him that yes, indeed, you had a boyfriend. You already had someone who occupied every possible space in your heart and in your mind.
“Alright,” said the guest, “may I suggest a little talk face to face here with our young miss?”
“But of course!” agreed your mother without hesitation and in no time, her and your father were gone, both of them shooting you warning glares. If only they could support you for once. Was that too much to ask for? Though you had to be honest. You were satisfied that you still had something you could hold for yourself.
“Miss,” Mr Kwon snapped you out of your thoughts. He stood up and walked over to you, motioning for you to stand up as well. You hastily did, quickly adjusting your skirt, which didn't go unnoticed by his sharp eyes. Feeling your cheeks reddening, you didn't look up.
He was quiet for a little while longer before softly muttering: “My gift looks very pretty on you. I have to say, I feel baffled that you decided to wear the pearls for me.”
Your breath hitched in your throat, but you still refused to look up at him. It was anything but for him.
“I assume you must be startled by the events, but I assure you I won't harm you. In the adult world, it is only normal to follow natural instincts though,” he murmured again as he made a step closer. “And you are definitely a breath-takingly beautiful young woman.” Suppressing the shivers, you nodded to show you were listening. He chuckled lowly. “No need to be shy around me. I prefer my women brave and confident. Like they know what they want.”
You raised your head now, reciprocating the eye contact. “In that case - I am still eighteen, Mr Kwon. I would appreciate it if you respect that.”
“I didn't even do anything,” he laughed again, shaking his head, taking your words as a joke. “But I like it. Okay. You got me. I will ask your parents for your telephone number and from now on,” he paused and leaned in a little closer, his strong cologne hitting your nose, “we shall deal with everything privately. Just the two of us.” He leaned back, checking your face for some reaction. You were shaken. “Alright?”
You nodded, wanting it to be quickly over. “Alright.”
“I'll make sure no one else will roam around you, miss. From today on, you are mine.”
//
It was yet another of the many times that you cried in your bed. Guilty feelings eating you away, the creeping sense of disgust at everything that you had to listen to and become part of sooner than later.
You were trying to think your situation over - how you could trick Mr Kwon to make him believe you weren't seeing anyone. In a way, you were thankful your mother and father never mentioned you already having a boyfriend as much as you wanted to shout it to the whole world. It was better to keep Baekhyun a secret which was basically one step to being in a relationship you didn't want to be. Baekhyun already became a forbidden fruit and you wondered what would happen if Mr Kwon found out.
//
You never told Baekhyun what was the deal between your parents and Mr Kwon. As much as he knew you were secretive and he tried to be the same Baekhyun as before, you couldn’t help the lurking feeling of your relationship's dynamics suddenly changing.
It shifted.
Unfortunately, in the wrong direction.
It’s been almost four years now that you’ve been attending university, meaning the sacred time to part was coming up, and you saw your boyfriend less and less. Even if the weather was nice and all you’ve asked was five minutes of his precious time, Baekhyun slowly but surely refused to give it to you. He would make sure to make it up later but the slightest hint of distance was palpable in his eyes and his touches.
In the beginning, you still enjoyed each other as much as you used to. He would bring you along to parties and show everyone you were together. You would bring him along to your get-togethers and make sure all the ladies knew he was yours. You slept at his place whenever you could and you were still just as crazy about each other as you used to be.
It was only once Mr Kwon started to take you out, asking for dinner dates and sometimes even making unannounced visits, was when your relationship started to break. You hated that word dearly; to break. You hated to use that word in the same sentence with Baekhyun's name. But you got the hunch that Baekhyun was suspicious. He knew something was up, he was not dumb. Suddenly, it was you rejecting his advances, it was you busy and with little time to spare. So you made sure he wouldn't get the hint and masked everything. Mr Kwon was not allowed to give you unannounced visits and you had to meet him somewhere far away from campus (it was convenient since he always treated you to expensive, tasteless food in Gangnam).
Over those few years, you and Baekhyun developed a routine; at the beginning of each semester, both of you exchanged your timetables. But in your final year, despite you knowing about Baekhyun's whereabouts, he would either stay later in school or hang out with his classmates. Thankfully, he took you many times with him - to lunches and dinners and get-togethers. Many of his friends there had girlfriends and you were never surprised that Baekhyun managed to win over almost everyone in his year. Because even if you were there as his girlfriend, his hand on your thigh to prove it, there were still so many girls, younger and older, swallowing him up with dark, hungry eyes.
Just where did the good old days go? In the good old days, you would be inseparable. There was no one who could stay between you two, even if it was your evil parents. He would kiss you, you would hug him, he would caress you and you would lay your head on his shoulder. You’d sneak out to see him, and he would create a new, safe home for you even if it meant just for a night. You risked so much to be with him; even now when you were under a scrutinizing watch of Mr Kwon, you’d always go and try to see Baekhyun.
So why was Baekhyun acting like this? With every passing day, he would drift away from you and you felt like you were trying to grasp onto him desperately, preventing him from leaving your side. Baekhyun was always by your side. He belonged there.
You were in your final year now, the beginning of a brand new, and last, semester when you decided to sign up for a fashion design class. You weren’t sure why you did it; the constant doodling as a way to get rid of your negative emotions, you grew to love grabbing a pencil and just let the sharp tip of it slide on the crisp surface of the paper. Fashion was something you always had to excel at given your reputation so when you found yourself sketching some pretty lingerie, you decided it wouldn’t be a bad move to attend a class that you actually liked, unlike the rest.
“But why does it have to be in the evening?” whined Baekhyun who was walking you to the seminar room. His hair was messy and it wasn’t because of your fingers. Apparently he had been in the library since 6am.
You sighed, and hugged your books closer to your chest, the chilly autumn evening catching you unprepared. You loved the deep red dress you wore today, but not only you were cold, but the heels were killing your feet too. “You’re always busy, Baekhyun. Why is it suddenly so difficult for you to accept that I will be busy one evening out of seven?”
He went silent and you knew you hit a sensitive spot. “You’re right.”
That made you feel… disappointed. He wouldn’t even try to fight anymore.
“Let’s talk after your class,” he suggested when you stopped in front of the classroom. There was some movement inside, most probably the professor preparing the materials for the seminar.
Baekhyun’s words left you feeling uneasy. “About what?”
He looked at you but his gaze was unreadable. He didn’t smile but didn’t frown either, until you saw the slightest clench of his jaw before he relaxed it. “About us.”
You instantly had tears in your eyes but you pressed your lips together, praying you wouldn’t start wailing now. Despite that, you shivered. “Maybe another time,” you tried.
“Sweetheart,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I really need to talk to you.”
“So when you want to talk to me I need to have time but when I was chasing you the past years, you couldn’t even give me five goddamn minutes of your precious time!”
He was taken aback at the raise of your voice but didn’t comment on it, nor did he act upon it. “I think you know that we have too many unresolved issues.”
“I don’t want to solve them,” you replied stubbornly.
He frowned. “What? What’s the matter with you?” he asked, exasperated. “You’ve been acting so strange,” he added, saying your name with so much seriousness it made you shiver again. “All I want is to talk.”
“But you will break up with me,” you said, voice low now and your chin trembling. “I know it. And I don’t want to.”
“No,” he was fast to whisper, shaking his head as he stepped closer to you, “I don’t want to break up with you, angel,” he whispered into your ear now, his hands gently cradling your head as he hugged you to him.
You whimpered, dropping your books so you could squeeze his slim waist and hide your face in his chest. His sweater had a pleasant scent of his detergent and it made you feel instantly at home. “Then what is it,” you gritted your teeth to prevent yourself from sobbing.
He sighed, knowing how he must have shattered you over the time. He grew distant, he was aware of that. But Baekhyun was also a perfectionist. He had to excel in classes, he had to make sure he knew what he was doing in order to become a qualified doctor as he always dreamed about. However, him being meticulous with his studies made him lose someone who was very special to him - you. “I miss you,” he whispered. “I just want to make sure we are in the clear. I want to spend more time with you. But I want to talk.”
“I’ve been missing you for so long,” you mumbled, ignoring the few students who were passing by and entering your classroom. He had a sad look on his face and you weren’t sure you wanted to know why. “I’ll come to your place. Will the other guys be out?”
He grasped your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I don’t know. I don’t care. Just head straight to my place, alright?” he said, attempting to smile.
Baekhyun was sharing an apartment with his friends just across the campus so it was convenient for him and for you. Even though they could be annoying sometimes, they knew not to play around you too much, given how ignorant you were towards anyone that wasn’t a Byun Baekhyun.
You nodded and Baekhyun hummed in acknowledgment, leaning in to kiss your forehead. You sighed, satisfied.
“Enjoy your class,” he murmured, his lips still brushing your skin. “I'll be waiting for you.”
Before he could let go of your hand and walk away, you pulled him towards you, ignoring his questioning gaze and stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips together. You felt him heave out a soft breath before he cradled your face and angled you up to have better access as he teased you with his tongue.
Someone cleared their throat out of nowhere and you gasped, disattaching from Baekhyun's lips a smooch that made you blush. He let go of you when he zoomed in on someone and you turned to find a young professor standing in the doorway to the seminar room. “Are you joining my class?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
Quickly bowing to him, you nodded, apologizing as you made your way to the classroom. Before the doors could completely close, you looked at Baekhyun who gave you a supportive smile.
//
You could smell cigarettes in the corridor as you stood in front of Baekhyun's apartment door. It wasn't the nicest building; some weird people lurking here and there, but you knew he worked hard to earn the place so you never told him how you actually felt about the place.
You typed in the code, letting yourself enter and quickly took off your heels, chasing the very much needed relief in your aching feet.
“You came.” Baekhyun appeared from his room, a big grey hoodie and black pants looking extra comfortable and cuddly on him.
He walked over to you and this time he initiated the small kiss. “How was class?” he asked, taking your bag from your hand as he moved to the kitchen. He was about to lift it up when your sketchbook fell out, the pages messily opening and splattering on the floor.
“It went very well,” you answered, watching him slowly pick up the sketch book, his eyes drinking in what he was seemingly missing out on the past year. Your sketches.
“Did you…” he trailed off, swallowing before looking up at you, “did you draw this? Did you come up with this?”
“Well, I had to present something to the teacher so that I wouldn't look too lost in his fashion class,” you smiled cheekily, sensing the unease Baekhyun was suddenly full of. He let his eyes follow you as you stepped towards him, taking the sketchbook from his frozen hand. “This is my personal favourite,” you said in a low voice, turning the pages until there were no more left. The last page was the only sketch you didn't show to your professor. Baekhyun was silent, but his eyes were sharp. They flickered from your face to the lingerie sketches that you were showing him.
Slowly, he took a deep breath, eyes scanning the figure that was resembling yours unlike the regular ones that you sketched before, for anyone's eyes. This one was meant for Baekhyun's eyes only and he was assured of it when he saw the small “unlock, bbh” under the sketch.
You knew Baekhyun loved wearing black colours despite his favourite one being red. So you decided to combine the dark with a deep, sultry red that oozed sexiness and confidence. Lace was so thinly sketched, it almost seemed like your skin was tattered with it. You never liked wearing thongs, so you made sure the underwear would be comfortable for you, instead filling the space with lace and silk.
It was a luxurious piece that you were confident you could actually wear one day if you would be determined enough to bring it to life.
“You see,” you started when silence was too much to bear, the growing tension made you feel all sorts of strong emotions, “I made it like a game for you, Baekhyun.” You took his index finger and pointed it at the paper where your left shoulder bra strap was drawn. “You won't unlock me until you find out one crucial point of this set. If you do, you'll unlock the entire outfit,” you told him, your voice low. “And what do I mean by unlock?” you asked, letting go of his finger and he looked at you from his side. “You'll get to see me in my whole glory. Just a simple click can give you access to everything that I am.”
Baekhyun was thinking about your words even though it had been a while since he spoke. Eventually, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to control something you weren't aware of. “Is this what you did in your class?”
You snorted a laugh. “No, Baekhyun. This is just for you. My present to you,” you smiled at the idea. “One day.”
“How can you be so fucking sexy inside and out?” he grumbled and with one arm swiftly brought you to his chest, his hand tightly gripping your waist. His eyes flickered all over your features, taking in the make-up and the red lipstick that you knew he adored so much. How could he let himself ignore you when you were a full meal, a huge prey for any man with bad and good intentions? How could he not appreciate you every single day and tell you that he loved you and wanted to make love to you every single time he saw you?
You smiled up at him and he lost it. Despite the trouble and negative tension he created, you still dared to smile at him?
He claimed your lips, catching you by surprise but you moaned instantly when you felt his hands drag downwards over your hips and bum until reaching the backside of your thighs. Both of you were so familiar with each other's actions, that Baekhyun didn't have to tell you to jump anymore. You did so without his order and when he had you in his arms, you felt him right at your center instantly. You gasped, reacting to his body as you tried to shimmy your middle over him and he grunted into the kiss.
“Jesus, what are you doing to me, woman,” he breathed, his lips glistening with your mixed saliva before cradling your cheek with one hand, bringing you in for another dirty kiss.
You whined, growing wet right away. Squeezing his waist with your legs, he clumsily put you on the counter, accidentally knocking over some cups, but neither of you cared. Baekhyun was kissing your jaw, slowly making his way to your ear into which he whispered: “I need to fuck you right now.” He bit your earlobe and you moaned, wanting to close your legs but his hands were already pushing them apart. Your dress hiked up to your hips, revealing your underwear and you fumbled with his pants, your hands already inside to bring him out. Upon touching him, you gasped, looking at your boyfriend. He was hard.
“It's what you do to me all the damn time,” he whispered, panting when he felt your light touch. “I told you years ago, didn't I?” he smirked and pushed your hand away, instead his hands grabbing you under your knees and yanking you to the edge so he could have better access. You whimpered, clenching around nothing when he pushed the crotch of your panties aside and felt his middle finger teasing you by letting it dip but not quite enter. “So wet,” he breathed, looking at your blushed face. “Let’s dive, shall we?” he murmured, grabbing himself. You circled your arms around his neck, face buried in his neck as you felt him poke you. Lubricating himself he made sure to spread your arousal all over your womanhood. You whimpered and he finally pushed in. Both of you moaned in unison, the stretch so pleasurable it made you almost see stars.
“Mmhhmm, you feel so good,” you moaned, closing your eyes and biting his earlobe. He was quick to reply when he set up a fast pace, chasing his release.
Both of you were panting, neither of you speaking as you were indulged in each other. Feeling the sweat prickling around your hairline, you kissed Baekhyun, who grunted, pushing extra deep and hitting your g-spot. You let go of the kiss with a smooch, moaning loudly into his mouth which he swallowed, his forehead pressed to yours. “Is it good? Am I making you feel good?” he breathed, puffs of air hitting your lips.
“Yes, yes, you do,” you exhaled harshly as he slowed down, circling his hips to make sure he was touching every corner of you. You arched your back, your head hitting the cupboards you forgot were behind you. Just like that, both of you were laughing like crazy, Baekhyun smiling widely as he kissed your exposed neck while still deep inside you.
You cursed, still giggling. Bringing your face back, you took his face into your hands and kissed him as he took himself out of you completely and then slammed back in right away.
“I’m so fucking close,” he whispered between messy kisses. “I swear I'm gonna cum right now, princess.”
You wanted to tell him to wait for you, but instead you lead him on. “Then cum.”
“Should I pull out?” The urgency of his voice as he kept thrusting into you made you momentarily dizzy. He felt so good. “No, don’t pull out,” you breathed and he groaned loudly, hiding his face in your chest as was his habit when he was releasing. Exactly then, you felt hot spurts pumping into you. You felt so full but the satisfaction was anywhere near. You chose not to act up on your frustration, instead deciding to enjoy seeing Baekhyun in a bliss.
“I don't remember when was the last time I came this hard,” he told you, stilling completely, his breath fanning your lips as he was slowly coming down from his high. After a few moments, he kissed you sweetly. “Sorry, baby. Let me-”
“No, don’t,” you said, the wetness leaking out of you and on the counter. His hand hovered above your bundle of nerves just above where he disappeared inside you. “It's fine.”
“But you didn’t cum,” he muttered, embarrassed. “Sorry… this is so ridiculous.”
“Don't be silly,” you said with a gentle tone and brushed his hair out of his sweaty forehead and leaned in to kiss it. “You're so gorgeous, Baekyhun,” you told him when he finally focused his shy gaze on you. In response, he squeezed your thighs he was holding onto the whole time. The iron grip eased up into a gentle hold. You were sure you would bruise but damn, you didn't care.
He smiled and that was your biggest present. His smile that was meant for you. “The one who is gorgeous is you. You made me cum so fast with just the idea of you wearing that lingerie… I'll make it up to you, I promise,” he whispered, kissing you again as he pulled out of you, once again causing you to moan at the friction.
Baekhyun cleaned up the mess quickly and sent you to wash up but before you could saunter off, he held your hand. “Stay over tonight,” he requested softly.
Feeling yourself smile even wider, you gratefully accepted.
//
After eating dinner, it was already too late, so both of you moved to Baekhyun's room, deciding to talk like you wanted to.
He lent you his clothes and you relished in the feeling of getting lost in his hoodie. When he lied down, he opened his arms for you to find comfort in and you were fast to jump at him, causing him to grunt at the impact which made you giggle.
“Are you trying to say I’m heavy!” you shrieked in mock anger, hitting his chest gently, and Baekhyun laughed.
“No, never,” he hummed when you settled in, resting your head on his chest. His heartbeat sounded a little irregular.
Your mood instantly deflated. “So,” you started, drawing circles on his pectoral with your finger. “What was it you wanted to talk about?”
He sighed gently and you felt his breath on your forehead. “I don’t know how to begin.”
“From the start.”
Baekhyun clicked his tongue at your reply and you smiled though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “You’re a teasing little thing, aren’t you, my love.”
My love.
If he called you his love it meant he wouldn’t break up with you, right?
“I just feel like …” he trailed off, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “You’re in your final year.”
That sentence spoke volumes to you. The meaning behind it meant only one thing and it was that only thing you’d been trying to fight against and refuse to accept. Your time with Baekhyun was almost up.
“Won’t you say something?” he asked softly when there was no answer from you.
This time you were the one who sighed and gently pushed yourself out of his grasp, to sit up facing him.
He mirrored you and sat opposite you. “Baby, what is going to happen?”
“I don’t know,” you murmured, lowering your head. “I mean-“ you looked up. “I won’t leave you, that’s all I know for sure.”
Baekhyun wasn’t satisfied with your answer. After all, you had the same answer years ago. He called your name. “We cannot do this forever, you know? Both of us deserve to know where we stand. It’s weird that you’ve been promised to that man but there is no news about when you are supposed to get married?” he rumbled though his voice wasn’t accusative.
Biting your lip, you avoided his eyes again by looking down.
“You know stuff, don’t you.”
You grit your teeth.
“What aren’t you telling me, hm?” He waited for a moment and when you still refused to talk, he took a deep breath. “I can’t believe you’ve known stuff and not tell me!”
This time, he sounded angry. “No, Baek, it’s not like that! I- yes, I’m supposed to be marrying him after I graduate but-“
“There is no but. There is only a period. You are marrying him after you graduate. Period.”
Your heart broke into two. Baekhyun was frowning, hurt flashing in his eyes as his jaw pulsed with how hard he was clenching it. His lips, those lips, were set into a hard line and there was no way to make him look happy like he once used to when he was with you.
“Baekhyun,” you tried, voice thin, “I already told you I’m not letting you go.”
“You seriously think about yourself only, don’t you,” he responded coldly, disbelief painting his voice. “You really don’t care what it means for me to sneak behind some rich dude who can give you anything you point at! I have my own pride. I can’t bear to share you with someone-“
“Baekhyun, I won’t let him touch me! I won’t let him do anything! You won’t be sharing me with anyone! My heart belongs to you and you know it,” you said, tears burning up in your eyes. “I love you so much,” you whispered before your voice could break.
Baekhyun was holding back, you could tell. His lips quivered but he didn’t make any effort to reach out for you. His eyes glistened. “Don’t marry him.”
You groaned inwardly. “You know I can’t do that.”
“So you’ve been going behind your parents the entire time, seeing me despite their protests and when I ask you not to marry him, you suddenly want to comply?”
“It’s for business,” you reminded him, “I didn’t choose this myself if that’s what you’ve been thinking.”
“I don’t care! I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you more than he can ever give you,” he said hurriedly and you let out a small gasp because Baekhyun was usually anything but desperate. He was the collected one, but now he was anything but.
“I’ll never leave you,” you promised shuffling to him, taking his face in your cold hands. “Please know that, Baekhyun. I won’t let him do anything. It’s just a status. That's all.”
His eyes were frantically flickering between yours, as if searching for something more than there was. “How can you just marry him when you barely ever saw him?”
And now was the time where you could start feeling guilty. It was on you. This was your fault and given how well Baekhyun knew you, he would read right into it. It got confirmed when he pulled away from you, your hands dropping.
“What else aren't you telling me?” he said in a low voice now completely withdrawing away from you and pushing himself up against the headboard.
“Baekhyun-”
“Just tell me already!”
You winced, quickly shutting your mouth. “We sometimes meet because he… eh, he just wants to get to know me better. That's it, he just asks me questions an-and I answer,” you replied shakily, brushing your hair behind your ear. “There is nothing, I swear. I deserve to know what kind of man I am marrying, too,” you added, looking up at your boyfriend whose gaze was set somewhere behind you.
“Has this been happening the entire time?” he asked quietly.
“Since the start of the uni.”
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Fucking awesome. Congratulations.”
“Baekhyun,” you said, this time strictly. “What the hell is wrong with you? I've been begging to meet you the whole past year and you always found some bullshit excuse for studying and actually you know what? Who knows what you'd been doing during those times!” you exclaimed, the idea of him being with someone else sending you into a rage.
“The fuck? As if I would cheat on you!” he shouted back, sending daggers your way. “I've been in a relationship with someone who was never supposed to be mine! Tell me, sweetcheeks, how does that sound to you? I'm saving myself for you while I know the entire time that I'll be on the loose end. I'm the pathetic one. I am the one who will lose. Not you,” he said in a menacing tone. “So before you start to throw shit at me, I would look in the mirror if I were you.”
“Byun Baekhyun!” you shouted.
He raised an eyebrow. “What. You don't like to hear the truth? Well, this is it. And I have lost my mind, finally. I've been too goddamn blinded by your hope when I knew the whole time it would be fruitless. I cannot do this anymore!”
By then you were sobbing. The last sentence sent you into fits of cries that you couldn't suppress no matter how hard you tried, and it hurt. Byun Baekhyun's words hurt like hell. Hiding your face in your hands, you felt the wetness of your tears pooling in your palms, hoping he would stop being angry with you and just take you in his arms and take his words back.
It didn't happen.
Slowly, you moved your hands away to see him stare at you, hard gaze, lips sealed tightly. “Baby,” you tried, reaching for him. More tears fell from your eyes but you didn't care anymore. He had seen you cry so many times and he was always there to comfort you. This time you were crying because of him and he wouldn't even move a finger for you. “Baby, please.”
“You said you deserve to know him better, too,” he said. “So it is that important to you - that you need to know him.”
“Of course,” you replied with a nasal voice, “what if he is a psychopath.”
He laughed bitterly. “Right. What if he is. How the fuck would you know - you are marrying him anyway! So why is it so important to you to let him get to know you? And you him?”
“It's just the way the deal went, okay?”
“No, it's not okay,” he spat. “You're going against your own word. “You told me there would be nothing happening until you graduate and you were with him behind my back.”
It was your turn to scoff now, though your face was splotchy. “Because you were waiting for me so much!”
“Don't you dare turn this against me,” he muttered in a low tone which left you shocked. This was the first time Baekhyun used that kind of tone with you. In fact, this was your first time fighting this ugly. “This is about you. About your fucking family. About them wanting to destroy us!”
“And it's obviously working!” You threw your hands up. “Just look at you now! You're doing exactly what they want you to be doing! They so desperately wish for you to hurt me so I could dump you,” you shouted, more tears rolling down your hot cheeks. “I guess they were right after all.”
“Right in what,” he snapped again, glaring at you.
You stood up, unable to keep fighting with him. He watched you wordlessly as you picked up your bag where you had your school books. “You're just using me. I guess I was just money to you as well!” You were seething as you yanked his door open and rushed straight for the door.
Sensing someone in the kitchen, you stopped abruptly for a moment, seeing Park Chanyeol staring at you in shock while he took in your state.
You shook your head, not bothering to say hi to him as you went to grab your shoes just to realize you came in heels. “Fuck,” you muttered. Well, Baekhyun's vans would have to do. Grabbing them, you tied both shoes tightly so you wouldn't fall as you rushed to grab the door when you felt a hand grab your wrist instead.
You looked back, making out Baekhyun's features through tears. “Let go,” you snapped, trying to shake him off.
“Where are you going this late?!”
“Anywhere is better than here with you! I cannot stay with you, Baekhyun!” you shouted, finally yanking him off harshly enough so his hand slipped.
You slammed the door shut and Baekyhun was met with silence. Throwing a single, helpless gaze at his friend was enough for Chanyeol to nod and move. “I'll go after her,” he reassured Baekhyun who seemed to be on the verge of mental breakdown.
Baekhyun just nodded, watching Chanyeol leave and hoping you wouldn't actually break up with him.
//
You were marching down the dark street, ignoring the anxiety creeping in from the silent, empty streets. They were eerie and scary and you hated walking down them at such a late hour but there was no way you could stay at Baekhyun's.
Fast steps brought you back to the present and your heart almost jumped out of your rib cage when you felt someone taking your wrist again. Hope spiked up, expecting to see Baekhyun but it was Park Chanyeol.
He turned you to him gently, little out of breath from trying to catch up with you. “You sure walk fast,” he commented.
He let go of your wrist and you sighed, looking at him with expectation. “What do you want, Park?”
“I just wanted to make sure you're fine,” he said rather shyly.
“I'm just fine,” you insisted, “I will go home now. Go back, it's late.”
“I'll take you home,” he said and to prove a point he clinked with his car keys. “Though it's not the best car out there, it will do the job.”
You rolled your eyes. “I always knew all of you were judging me for my status. And don't bother. I know you're only doing this because of Baekhyun. Well, you don't need to do this.”
“He would skin me alive,” he whispered, horrified. “And he is now too good with the scalpel. I wouldn’t dare.”
“I don't want your help unless it's something you actually want to do, Park Chanyeol,” you muttered through gritted teeth, feeling another wave of tears threatening to spill. “You just made it worse. Leave.”
“It’s late.”
“I don't care. I need to be alone right now.”
“For your information, we all know how much he cherishes you,” he started. “Whenever he would reject you, he would study but not really focus. He keeps talking only about you. We don’t judge you for money but for how much you occupy our space even if you aren't there. That dude is just bewitched by you and I don't know how you managed to do it, to be honest. He is the coldest guy to any other opposite sex beside you.”
“What are you trying to say, Park Chanyeol?”
He sighed and gave you a pointed look. “Baekhyun sacrificed a lot for you. He is so loyal to you despite all the matters you guys have. He never told us but we have a hunch. Just… don’t go breaking his heart.”
“I am not breaking his heart!” you said loudly, tears rolling down your cheeks. “He doubts my feelings.”
“He doesn't. He is insecure.”
“How can he be insecure? All I ever wanted was to be with him.”
Chanyeol stepped closer to you, causing you to tilt your head back further. “Then go back and amend the mess you made.”
“It's not just my mess. It's ours. We made it. He should know what he told me was wrong.”
“All he ever did was listen to you! What makes you think that guy has unlimited patience? He doesn't! So go back, and make it right again!”
You let out a loud groan, turning away from him. You tapped your foot on the concrete, thinking hard though you were close to exasperation. Turning back to Baekhyun's friend, you muttered: “Since you brought those keys, take me on a drive. I’ll sponsor the gas.”
//
It was already late when you returned back but at least you managed to clear up your mind. Quietly slipping back inside his dark room, you saw him lying in bed, his back turned to you. Putting your bag quietly down on the floor, you slipped under the comforter, your arms and legs hugging him like a koala bear.
You thought he was asleep or worse, that he’d ignore you, but he moved almost as soon as you hugged him, turning in your embrace, pushing his leg between yours and his hand circling your waist, his hand on the skin of your lower back. It was pitch black in the room, but once you felt his hot breath on your mouth and then the moisture of his lips on yours, you didn't need to see. You just felt. He kissed you and poured all of his apologies, regrets and forgiveness in the kiss. You returned the kiss just as fervently, feeling his warm hand on your cheek, his fingers in your hair while his thumb smoothed the skin under your eye. He shuffled himself closer and hummed when you darted out your tongue. He sucked on your lip a little longer before opening his mouth to let you in, and you took your time in exploring him, twirling and sucking on his tongue while you felt his arm tightening around you, his hand under your hoodie as he caressed you under your breast. In the quietness of his room there were just the slick sounds of your making out.
When you couldn't keep going anymore, you separated, your mouth fully wet from your mixed saliva as you panted loudly. You felt him pressing his forehead to yours and you sighed in relief.
“I'm so sorry, princess,” he whispered, nuzzling your nose gently, dragging his leg up so he could rest it on your thigh. “I was a fool.”
“No,” you whispered back, wishing you could see him better. “You merely stated the facts. It's all on me.”
“We both screwed up,” he added, “but fuck.” He gave your cheek a small, open-mouthed kiss, sending shivers down your spine, “I can't imagine you leaving me and being with him. I can't.”
You wanted to reply to him and to ease his mind that you wouldn't, but you would lie. The more you would keep to yourself, the more you would end up hurting the most precious person in your life.
“I'm so sorry. None of what I said is true,” you managed to blurt, unable to come up with anything more. “I keep breaking you. I'm so sorry.”
“Shh, baby,” he whispered urgently, his hand that was resting on your cheek slipping to the back of your head to bring you closer. You hid your face in his chest while he hid his in your neck. “You're not breaking me. You're breaking me if I'm not with you.”
You snuggled closer to him and he sighed, hugging you tighter. “My precious gem, I love you,” he whispered into your ear. To make your body contact more intimate, you also hid your hands under his hoodie, feeling his muscles contracting at your delicate touch. “You're mine.”
//
Few days later you received a message. It was from Mr Kwon and you groaned, stopping on your way to another class.
I request a lunch with you today
My driver will pick you up at 12
I know you're not supposed to be having classes
You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you pushed your phone back into your bag and headed inside the classroom. Even if you would reject him, he wouldn't accept it, so you might as well not bother with replying.
However, you were shocked when the driver came all the way to your classroom as all the students were pouring out and heading for lunch. You knew Mr Kwon's driver and even though he was polite, you didn't like the looks he was giving you whenever he saw you wearing skirts, like for instance, now.
He escorted you to the expensive restaurant where they were already waiting for you. Upon spotting you, the staff rushed towards you and led you to Mr Kwon who was already seated, his hands clasped together as his elbows rested on the table. He stood up, giving you a polite bow as he helped you sit down.
When he was opposite you, he said: “Pleasure to see you. How have you been the past few days we didn't see each other?”
You suppress a tired sigh. “I've been fine, thank you.”
“Oh, have you, now?” he questioned, his eyebrow lifting. His eyes were telling you something he wasn't verbalizing and it put you into unease right away.
Smiling, you muttered: “Yes, but thank you for your concern.”
“No issues with your friends?”
His stupid inquisition was starting to annoy you. “Excuse me? Could you please speak more explicitly?”
“I thought you'd never ask,” he smirked and took out an envelope from the inside of his cardigan and handed it to you over the table.
With uncertainty, you accepted it and opened it, not wasting time in trying to understand his mysterious words. There were photos. Frowning, you inspected them better and you were shocked when you saw it was you with a tall male. Park Chanyeol. It must have been that night when you fought with Baekhyun. Your breath hitched in your throat when you realized this man had you followed by someone.
You opened your mouth to talk but he cut through like a knife. “I was wondering where did you receive such a - how shall I put it - passionate bruise on your neck the last time I saw you. Turns out you're sleeping around with someone.”
It felt like he just threw a bucket of icy cold water on you. The idea of him having you followed, of him not trusting you and rudely breaking into your privacy as if you were some object he could manipulate and decide whom to meet and whom to not meet was driving you up the wall.
“You don't have anything to defend yourself?” he asked sharply. “How long have you been seeing that man?”
You swallowed on a dry throat. Mr Kwon thought your boyfriend was Park Chanyeol? That was good. As long as he had no knowledge about Baekhyun, you didn't care. “I… it's been…”
“Jesus Christ, I really didn't think you would be a whore,” he snickered, eyeing you up and his eyes eventually resting on your cleavage. “You were acting all innocent and brave just a few years ago and attending university changed you so much. I wanted to be the only one who would bed you,” he sneered and you felt a bile rising in your stomach.
“What- Excuse me?! Who do you think you are?!” you exclaimed, horrified. “Don't you dare think of me that way.” You stood up and wanted to scream when you saw his eyes drinking up your thighs that got revealed as your skirt hiked up. “A deal is a deal. You don't have any rights to treat me like this. And you can bet you aren't going to boss me around once we are married. I'll easily reject the marriage, too.”
Mr Kwon was fast up on his feet to walk over to you. “Well, if you do, your parents are as good as dead. Their business is in shackles, young lady. So unless you want them to be able to afford some food and have a roof over their heads, I advise you to respect me,” he was talking so fast you could barely register his touch on your hip and on your backside. Gasping, you slapped his hand away and dared to push him from you. He snickered.
“Watch your hands, Mr Kwon,” you spat. “This is a private property.”
He laughed and leaned in. “Oh, are you like this with him too? Then I can't wait to have the full rights. The only one with rights. Soon, little tiger.” You moved to push him away when he added: “You better end this little thingy you have with the boy. Because if I find out who he is, I will destroy him and any perspectives he could have for the future.”
Even though he didn't know about Byun Baekhyun, you could not risk it.
You had to break up with him.
// // // // //
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on deku vs kacchan 3 and the way mha uses fight scenes
I think that a really distinct reason of why every “Deku VS Kacchan” match feels far heavier and different than most other fights in MHA is because it doesn’t matter who wins.
Rewatching both fights so far recently had me thinking. I opened up the clip on youtube and watched it, feet kicked back on my sofa. The video started and hummed and hawed as per usual on the remarkable development and comparison of this to their current relationship in canon. Hey, I thought to myself then. I don’t remember Deku winning in their first fight.
But I rewinded it. I watched it. I opened the wiki and I reread it. And he did.
I was obviously taken aback. I remembered most of the MHA plot, having read and watched both the anime and manga and being up to date. I could remember a vast majority of the fight scenes simply because they were my favorite parts about the anime. So why didn’t I remember the outcome of DvK1?
I eventually understood.
The thing about every fight Katsuki and Izuku have is that who wins or loses never really meant to matter.
You see, with every single fight in MHA, it was almost always a matter of who wins or loses. Villains, obviously, were meant to lose each time--and in any situation where they won, the intention was to strike fear into viewers and make them doubt the hero. The narrative of these fights were always about winning or losing because of the stakes behind them.
Eri. Kouta. Bakugou.
There was always a higher stake. Something to be won or someone to be saved.
Even with students, there was always a reason behind every win or loss. Even narratively. Deku VS. Shinsou, for example, had a stake on either end. Shinsou needed to prove himself to the hero course. He needed the validation that he could be a hero and eventually work his way into the hero course. He lost in the end anyway, because he needed that little kick to encourage him to work harder to make it in with guidance from Aizawa. Deku VS. Shinsou had Deku win because through this, he was able to realize the weight of One for All’s true nature (the vestiges breaking Shinsou’s mind control) as well as prove himself worthy in front of everyone’s eyes.
This same structure is applicable everywhere else. In Todoroki VS Bakugou 1, it was to push Bakugou into creating a rivalry and becoming invested in Todoroki’s improvement because he won ‘unfairly’ and to highlight Todoroki’s remaining inhibitions due to his past in an impactful way that eventually encouraged him to finally speak with his mom. Even in minor fights like Tokoyami vs. Yaomomo, Momo’s quick loss was needed in order to introduce and plant the beginnings of what would become her major self-doubt issues at the beginning of her character arc.
To put it simply, winning and losing was always a huge part of how MHA developed fight scenes.
So why are DvKs different?
The main reason why DvKs always feel different in comparison to every other fight scene is because, in my opinion, they aren’t actually fight scenes. At least, not in the sense that MHA uses them as.
DvKs are always built up, always lead through and hinted at through entire seasons. It was never just an arc between them, never just a Sports Festival or Final Exams or anything. Whenever a DvK battle happened, it was always something that had been festering for episodes.
In example, the first Deku VS. Kacchan. The fight happened in episode 7, and was naturally introduced because it was part of a school exercise. The tension was most obvious in the episode beforehand, viewers bracing themselves as soon as we saw that Midoriya and Bakugou would be going against each other in the first round.
But like, okay.
The tension and traces of this battle were actually lined up since the very first episode. Hear me out. In the infamous “Take a swan dive off a roof and pray you’ll have a quirk in your next life!” scene, we hear Katsuki already placing loads of doubt on Izuku’s capabilities. His respect for Deku was rooted in what he knew. And that was, Deku is quirkless and therefore cannot be his equal. Any idea that contradicted to this would mean two things:
A shift in their relationship
A shift in Bakugou’s world views
From the first episode, we are already laden with hints that Katsuki would not take lightly to knowing at all that Deku had any power. He’s stubborn and also incredibly flawed in his values, believing his assumptions about Deku’s character were correct and that he was superior to Deku in every way that ‘mattered’. When we finally get to the parts where Deku is given OfA, it snowballs more and more until by episode six, literally everyone is aware that a battle between these two is inevitable.
The subtlety of these hints meant that we as the viewers were expecting this fight, whether we consciously realized it or not.
No other fight is set up like this--excluding villain fights like the Overhaul arc, which is excusable because the set-up used in these battles were always about its stakes. In DvKs on the other hand, the stakes were practically nonexistent unless you had a huge bias for either character (obviously, in most of our cases, Deku because Bakugou wasn’t exactly winning anyone’s hearts in the first season).
Each DvK fight is less of an actual fight and more of a conversation. They’re utilized to dispel the growing tension between Midoriya and Bakugou and repair their relationship regardless of who wins or loses. Deku didn’t have to win DvK1. Either way, Katsuki still would have gone on with the knowledge that Deku had a quirk he never told him about. Either way, Katsuki would have walked away with the ultimatum that he now had to acknowledge Deku properly. Regardless of winning or losing, both Deku and Katsuki were able to leave these fights knowing something new about the other and having a conversation to dispel tension caused by misunderstandings.
DvK 2. We’ve all seen plenty of analysis posts on this episode. Did it matter that Katsuki won? Did it matter that Deku lost? Aside from that really tense final scene where they pinned each other that I’m sure all of us remember, the result of DvK 2 had no significant change on the outcome.
The fight was a conversation. It was where Izuku and Katsuki were able to see each other eye-to-eye. The tension that had been boiling--had been continuously hinted at by Kamino Ward and then the Licensing Exam Arc just like how DvK 1 was prepared for since the first episode. There was always a catalyst behind these fights that had nothing to do with the actual need to win or lose--that aspect simply inherent to both Katsuki and Deku’s wins.
Don’t get me wrong; the win or lose aspect is something that still has an effect on either of their characters, but the difference is that they aren’t the main point of each battle. This is something even Bakugou admits in DvK 2 when he tells Deku to stop overthinking their fight.
It was never about winning or losing or strategy. It was about the intentions behind it.
Both Deku VS Kacchan fights so far have always occurred when there was a needed turning point in their relationship. Each time unsaid secrets or opinions between Izuku and Katsuki pile up, the metaphorical straw that breaks the camel’s back is another fight. They’re less of interjected conflicts and more of milestones for their relationship.
(For sure, if DvK 3 does happen in the manga, we’ll definitely be in for a surprise on how Deku and Kacchan develop next.)
#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#izuku midoriya#midoriya izuku#deku#bakugou katsuki#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo#kacchan#dynamight#wonder duo#twin stars#bkdk#izk's meta
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