#question i'm struggling with is whether or not to do one for Awakening

[oni-odyssey]

Dragon Age Character Bunting

I did it. I finished this thing. Look at these gifs I made.

It's a free download on my ko-fi here, or click the link below the cut.

Tools needed: Glue, scissors, hole puncher.

(A printer too technically, but I don't own one so I went to OfficeWorks to print mine).

CONTENT WARNING: blood splatters.

Did a write up post on Ko-fi too.

I really hope to do more of these. This project is a perfect way for me to get character design studies done. I simplified their appearances and made some of their outlines blocky for the purposes of cutting them out easier. Even so, some areas are tricky to cut. I plan to work on another bunting of triangles next, again reflecting Dragon Age: Origins themes. If folks are finding these characters are too tricky to cut out, I hope the next designs will be more accommodating.

I initially wanted these to be double-sided, so you could have each character facing either facing/looking left or right. The first character I worked on was Morrigan, who has a asymmetrical appearance lol. Immediately after inverting her sketch to inspect the other side, I realised I can't flip her shoulder feathers to the other side. So the double sided idea was scrapped, and instead I thought they could be a silhouette of the white and bloody box art cover (without the dragon). Lazily I used the splatter pattern in Clip to cover their silhouettes on their reverse sides.

Lastly, wanted to apologise for only providing a Ko-fi link. I'm trying to boost traffic there, so I won't have the google drive upload for now.

I need to put myself out there, and honestly, I don't know how to do that on tumblr. I'm okay with my tumblr just being a small blog that I'll treat more as a progress journal, while the professional sounding stuff can go to Ko-fi. I plan to make an insta this month, which I'm not 100% about doing. I've been working on pieces and designs, but I have no eyes on it. I have to market myself T_T so I'm awkwardly rolling up my sleeves and going for it. I'm going to be making some mistakes, which sucks, but thankfully I get so much shame out of every tiny misstep, which means I try to not do it so much.

Credits: · Shoutout to The Library of a Chantry Scholar for uploading the DA font "nogard", I can't find the name of the original designer. · DanaDuchy on Youtube for uploading party banter videos that I listened to for nostagia, and time tracking while I worked on these.

[prythianpages]

Dandelions | Headcannons

azriel x green witch | these headcannons focus on Az and you starting a family, introducing the children.

a/n: This has been sitting in my drafts for months so I decided to finally just post them. I have so many ideas for this series since I love it sm but writing them out has been a struggle. Maybe, I can write some of these out just as I did with the first set of HCs.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy/child birth, fluff, dad Az

After the little incident with the aphrodisiac that awakened certain desires in both you and Azriel, you realize you both are ready for the next step...finally starting your family.

As much as Azriel wants a family with you, he is worried about you due to his Illyrian blood and does not want what happened to Feyre to happen to you.

But worry not because that's where your witch abilities come through! There is no witch lore in acotar so I'm just going with my own lore, please bear with me lol.

"How do you think my mother had Thea?"-Luckily for you, your mother has had experience with having a winged baby.

It's a little ritual that gets Az a bit too hot and bothered. Needless to say, after it's done, the two of you have lots of fun trying to have a baby.

You don't notice your pregnant at first.

There's lots of signs such as plants following you everywhere you go, your cat being more affectionate, your spider making elaborate webs everywhere.

You don't notice because you're used to the attention from nature and think nothing of it. What you do notice, however, is how clingy Azriel's shadows become.

Those inky tendrils love you and there's always a couple around you but you start to notice more and more. They help you and keep you safe. If you're going to trip, they stop it. If you need to reach for a cup on a high shelf, they grab it for you. They even force you to walk down the stairs instead of run like you usually do.

Around this time, Azriel starts to feel sick so you attribute the shadow attention to that. Maybe, they just want you close to their master?

Azriel thinks he has food poisoning since he wakes up nauseas and has felt overall, tired and drained. The inner circle has noticed him become more clingy and emotional but no one dares to tell him anything. Meanwhile, you don't question it because you love clingy and emotional Az.

It's one morning during training that Azriel can't hold it in and throws up. He then explains to Cas that he doesn't know what's happening and is starting to get worried.

"Mother's tits!" Cas figures it out immediately. "You're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant?" Cas grins and gives Azriel a big bear hug. "We're pregnant!"

"Who's pregnant?" You call out, looking at Nesta curiously. She shakes her head at you and then you look at Az.

The shadows that hovered by your side parted from you briefly, revealing what they had been protecting for the last couple of weeks. "You're pregnant." Azriel breathes, eyes focusing on your stomach.

Those shadows that have been by your side flutter toward him and that's when they let Azriel hear it--a second heartbeat. When the shadows carry the subtle change of your scent to him next, he faints.

Protective Az comes at you full force after your pregnancy is confirmed. He hovers over you a lot and when you need to go the forests to pick pick out some herbs and ingredients for your potions, he doesn't let you lift a finger.

It often leads to you sitting on the soft grass while he collects what you need with a frown, your own fingers itching to do it yourself. The frown doesn't last long as the sight of Azriel on his knees picking herbs makes the love in your chest swell and he always picks the prettiest flower to place in your hair.

Though he's happy, he can't help but be anxious over whether the ritual worked or not, despite your sister's (Thea, the seer) reassurance.

It's not until you have a check up with Madja that he allows all anxieties subside as she not only confirms that your baby is healthy and has wings but that your womb has accommodated for them.

There's nothing but excitement now and Azriel eases up a bit on his hovering, letting you pick your own herbs and travel among Prythian's forest. Never alone though.

Your relationship with your family has always been a little rocky. You loved your mother and sisters but did not see eye to eye with them on many things...and your dad...well, your dad was hexed into a lizard. But the news of your pregnancy brings you closer to your mother and sisters.

Though your mother gave her approval of Azriel, she is not fully trusting of him, as if she's waiting for him to fuck up and give you a big "I told you so." He's always respectful toward her, even when she keeps nagging at him for a lock of his hair (that you keep reprimanding her for.)

Ever since learning you were carrying his babe, Azriel likes to rest his head on your shoulder or chest while one rests on your stomach. So imagine his delight when you start showing and when he first feels the baby kick, he'd be so happy, it'd bring him to tears because his dream of starting a family with the one he loves is finally coming true. (Like with any acotar male, I also think the sight of your bump would make him feral.)

The inner circle is also so happy for you both. Though your sister told you, you were having a girl, Cassian insists on calling your baby "Azriel Jr" and after she's born, you joke that he manifested it as she takes after Azriel a lot.

Now, here are some HC's of their children <3

Melaina

Melaina's name was inspired by the goddess Melinoe.

Mel inherited her father's shadows. Some of the shadows that had clung to you all throughout your pregnancy remained by her side, multiplying every year. You suspect it has to do with the ritual you performed to ensure a safe birth.

At first, Azriel still had control over them and would use them to keep your daughter safe but given that you and Azriel are really protective over her, the greatest danger Mel ever faced was tripping over one of your rugs.

Az calls Mel "my shadow" since the moment she knew how to crawl, she loved trailing after him like his shadows do.

Once she's older, she gains control over her shadows and since she can sense things that others can't through them, it's no surprise to you that she later becomes a death witch.

Mel's hobbies include reading about poisons, walking her pet scorpion throughout Velaris and crafting dolls from recycled material. She enjoys using her shadows to bring her dolls to "life" and torment her cousins, especially Cassian's twins. When she was young, she'd beg Azriel to play dolls with her.

Mel can be a little menace but despite this, you and Azriel are so endeared by her that she can do no wrong g (though, you both do have your boundaries and when it comes to punishments, it is surprisingly you that has to carry them out)

It's no secret that Azriel isn't fond over his Illyrian heritage but Mel is interested. She asks to train in Windhaven like he had done but it's an immediate no from the both of you. The three of you come to a compromise and allow her to join the little army of Illyrian warriors (that consists of Nyx and Cas's twins.)

When Mel starts school, Azriel goes through it, not wanting to accept that his little girl is growing up. You can read more about it here.

Mel loves going to school but she does run into some trouble with some kids who want to tease her because she’s different (with her shadows, wings and witchy heritage) The mean kids at school realize that they can't go after Nyx or Cas's twins bc they'd lose any fight and seeing as Mel is small and a girl, they underestimate her.

Instead of letting her cousins take care of her troubles with the mean kids at school like they’d be happy to, she does it herself and ends up in the principal’s office often for threatening to hex her classmates.

It’s not until she becomes older and learns some spells/tricks that she actually places hexes on them. No one picks on her bc they learned their lesson but if she saw anyone getting bullied, she’d stand up for them.

When Mel begs Azriel to allow her to become a spy for the Night Court, he denies her, not wanting her to live the same life he does. But on one mission, she follows him and he reluctantly acknowledges her powers and abilities. He also realizes that as much as he can push her away or deny her, she'd find a way to become a spy anyway.

Mel admires her father so much, she wants to be like him.

She meets Eris's son through her job as a spymaster of the Night Court, which causes a bit of chaos amongst the two courts, even more when she starts to fall for him. If you ask her, she'll deny, deny, deny...

Alora

When Azriel's shadows begins to get clingy again (I feel like the mating bond would overwhelm with the urge to protect you and be by your side, therefore his shadows would follow suit), you start to suspect you're pregnant.

As your further along in your pregnancy, you begin to experience some things similar to Mel. With Mel, you were able to understand Az's shadows since that was her power. But with this baby, the further along you get, the more romantic you become.

Your dreams consist of going on multiple dates with Azriel and bringing others together. You often wake up really emotional, crying as to why Azriel hasn't taken you out on a date.

Azriel is a fast learner and increases his romance with you, which sends you over the moon.

Since this baby gave you lots and lots of dreams, you and Azriel decide to name her Alora. Lor for short.

She comes a bit earlier than expected and though it nearly gave Azriel a heart attack, you both like to joke that she was simply too excited to see the world.

Lor does not have wings and takes more after you but has Azriel's hazel eyes. She's so curious about the world.

If we're talking about vibes. Mel gives off Wednesday Addams meets Louise Belcher vibes and Lor gives off Enid Sinclair meets Tina Belcher vibes.

Her hobbies include writing romance novels or in her journal, gazing at the stars with her pet bunny, and giving free tarot readings under the school bleachers.

Lor is very sweet and an empath, always making sure everyone is happy. It's why one year, she insisted you helped her buy Azriel's and Mel's shadows beds so they have a place to sleep in. Once she's of age, she becomes a love witch.

She also might've set your father, who had been hexed into a lizard, free one day...

She can be naive at times, choosing to see the good in everyone.

Mel takes advantage of this and likes to mess with her but the moment someone messes with her little sister, it's over for them. (Since Lor is a love witch, I can see her trying to bring two fae together and it backfires and Mel has to save the day.)

Since Mel and Lor aren't too far apart in age, they were sure a handful growing up. Azriel learned a new type of stress with them. Lots of "Can you tell Mel's shadows to stop breathing in my direction?" "Hey, that's, my shirt! And you turned it pink!" "What did I say about leaving your toads all over the floor??" "May your next crush be as slimy and gross as slugs!"

Lor is the first to catch on to Mel's crush on Eris's son and of course, she wants to meddle. It only stirs up more drama though.

While Mel got sent to the principal's office for hexing her classmates, Lor would get sent there from trying to meddle into her favorite teacher's love life.

As she gets older, she's not really interested in training like Mel was. Yet, Az insists she joins to at least learn self defense. She puts this off as much as she can until, one day, Az drags her to the HOW so she can learn from the Valkyries.

It's there where a pretty Valkyrie catches her eyes and suddenly, Lor is at every training session.

(You can read a bit more about Lor through this one-shot here.)

Dimitri

Not liking even numbers, you ask Azriel for another baby and who is he to deny you?

Other than Azriel's shadows being clingy and overprotective much like their master, the pregnancy is smooth sailing. Nothing seems out of place, neither you or Azriel experience morning sickness.

Since you seem so connected to nature, you suspect this baby will follow into your footsteps. The two of you decide to keep the gender a surprise until birth.

Lor was ecstatic when she found out she was going to have a new sibling and though Mel denied it, she was too. They both hoped for another sister, having had enough of boys with their reckless cousins.

Azriel is also convinced it's a girl, even though his shadows snicker at the thought. But when Madja places a baby boy in his arms, Azriel is shocked to the core.

He's such a girl dad that he doesn't know what to do at first, feeling overwhelmed and underprepared (even though he's such a good dad.)

It's after this birth that your mother finally gives her full trust to Azriel. It's like she senses his slight unease and in a vulnerable moment while Azriel stares at his son, she gives him a pat on the back and praises him for being a good father and mate.

Azriel blinks, thinking he's dreaming. He'd never say it out loud but those words from your mother meant the world to him.

So welcome Dimitri, the "earth lover."

He does have wings and takes more after Azriel in physical appearance but in terms of personality, he takes after you.

He's a heartthrob bc c'mon, he's Azriel's son.

His hobbies include volunteering in the Spring court to help restore parts of the forests (I imagine that must take years to recover from), hiding away from the girls who madly crush at him at school, and training with his father.

While his older sisters would be sent to the principal's office often due to stirring up trouble, he'd be sent to receive awards and for being a good samaritan.

Because he loves nature, he has many pets throughout his youth, his first being two sugar gliders, followed by a toad. I feel like your house is a zoo at times.

Growing up, he liked messing with his sisters and hiding bugs in their backpacks or room. It was hard to mess with Mel due to her shadows but he's smart and quickly learned a way around it.

His little pranks bring Mel and Lor together. They once placed a hex on him, turning his hair pink, after hearing him be a bit cocky of all the girls crushing on him at school. But it backfired because it only made him more "dreamy" to them.

Though he's the youngest, he's very protective of his older sisters. They have a strict policy that they can mess with one another but def have the "the only one who can torture my sibling is me" mindset.

With these three, your house is never quiet and if it is, it is not a good sign. Hexes, spells, insects, galore! It certainly doesn't help when your mother visits, teaching them new curses and rituals.

Though sometimes they make you want to pull your hair out and Azriel's hair turn gray with their shenanigans, you two adore them and wouldn't trade your family for anything else in the world.

Bonus: I was watching Bob's Burgers & Linda gave me such Green Witch reader vibes so here's a link to some HCs based off the show lol.

a/n: hope you enjoyed these! I am not done with writing about Az x Green witch so some of these may turn into fics. I actually got the idea of writing about a love witch when I thought of Lor and that's how the Cas AU came to be.

(I'm already toying with the idea of Lor setting your lizard of a father loose and causing a bit of mayhem.)

series tag list:@fxckmiup, @aria-chikage

[spaceistheplaceart]

Body Swap - How Do I Talk Like That? Part Three

Honestly, I'm not that happy with how this part went but after literally struggling with it for like. half a year. im just glad its done. let me know what you guys think!

masterpost

previous

Summarized ID: Reigen tries to help Mob in the consultation by gesturing to him what he should do. Mob doesn't get the hint, and the client almost leaves before Reigen is able to somehow sway him with his over energetic sales pitch. They wait for a taxi, but Mob seems down.

FULL ID UNDER CUT:

(This is a body swap, so I'll be referring to the characters as who they actually are but keep in mind that Reigen is in Mob's body and vice versa.)

"I see..." Hiroto says. "Hmm..."

Mob glances over at Reigen, who is frantically pointing to the 'course options' sheet on the desk. Mob looks down at it and says, "oh!" before picking it up and reading it. "Let's see, the fees for the various course packages are listed here..." He slides it over to Hiroto, smiling. "Please, read it over. There seems to be a deal on the 'all-out' package this month."

Reigen grips his hair in distress, thinking to himself: "No! You're supposed to talk him through the process!"

We see Hiroto reading the sheet. Reigen is still thinking, "You can't let him read the whole thing, reel him in before he's got time to think!!!" Reigen leans over his desk, staring intensely at Mob and Hiroto. "Now would be a great time for some latent telepathic abilities to awaken!"

Hiroto hands the sheet back to Mob. "Hm. Well. Thank you for taking the time to see me. I'll keep you in mind." He stands up.

"Crap!" Reigen thinks to himself, standing up from his seat. "Sir!" He calls out to Hiroto, who is near the door and ready to leave. Reigen points to a poster behind him that says '3 Ghosts, One Free!'. He says, "Did you know that right now we have a special deal going on!? For the whole month, if you have three ghosts or more, we'll exorcise a third of them free!"

Hiroto looks at Reigen, bemused. A question mark is beside him. "Aha. Thanks, kid, but... I'm alright."

Reigen looks at him tensely, a sweatdrop on his cheek. He glances back at Mob, who is frozen and still holding the price sheet.

Reigen puts his hands on his hips and speaks out again, "Listen! My master is absolutely the real deal! Just look at all these satisfied customers!" He points to a corkboard behind him. On top of the corkboard is a label that says 'Our Customers' and there are many photos of customers on the board, pinned up. Reigen says, "Every single one of them! Spirit free! Whether it was a barrage of spirits or just one-"

He continues, pointing to himself with his thumb. "MY MASTER! Was able to help them all! So-"

He trails off as Hiroto begins to chuckle. He holds his hands over his stomach, his chuckling slowly trailing off. He sighs and smiles at Mob.

"Aha... Seems you've got yourself quite the little businessman, huh?"

Reigen, Mob, and Dimple, simply look at him, confused.

Hiroto runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Fine... Be over at 1 o'clock. Sharp."

He leans down to Reigen's height, smiling with sparkles around him. "That's thirty minutes from now, okay?"

Reigen forces a smile, sparkles around him too now. "Yep, sounds great! We'll see you then, sir!"

"Wonderful, see you then." Hiroto says. He leaves, disappearing behind the wall that seperates the entryway from the office. As he's leaving, he mutters to himself "Aha... kids..." Then the door closes with a chime.

Mob is sat at Reigen's desk, a shadow over his eyes and his hands clasped together. Reigen comes up and claps a hand on his shoulder, looking off to the side.

"Well! It's to be expected. You did the best you could, Mob.Though I do have a few pointers..." He waves his hand around dismissively. "We'll talk on the way."

"Sure." Mob says.

Two panels, both black with white text, say: PROGRESS TOWARDS EXPLOSION: 48%

We cut to outside the office, where Mob and Reigen are sitting on a curb. There's a text box above them that reads: "waiting for a taxi"

Dimple floats off to Mob's side. Mob looks a little sad. Dimple frowns and asks, "Why do you look so down? You got the job in the end. Don't tell me you're bummed just because it was little awkward."

END ID

[transdimensional-void]

my headcanons for trans!myne:

urano's past-life memories are awakened within amab myne

myne decides that because of his body and because his family only knows him as a boy, he should just think of himself as a boy

keeps unintentionally slipping into feminine language because it feels more natural. myne assumes this is because urano used feminine japanese and it's just a bad habit he needs to overcome.

struggles more than he expected to switch over to masculine language but manages to force himself to eventually. however, it takes constant work, and he can't understand why. he’s in a boy’s body now, so shouldn’t it be easier?

lutz notices his occasional slips into feminine language and asks about it. myne claims he's just doing it as a joke, but lutz remains suspicious.

myne doesn't even realize that she exclusively uses feminine language within her internal monologue.

tells his mom that he doesn't want to cut his hair just yet because he wants to try a longer style. he's seen men with ponytails so feels it's still masculine enough and doesn't dig too deep into why he wants it longer. he's already invented rinsham at this point, so his family just accepts that he's got some weird obsession with his hair.

lutz notices the longer, shiny, nice-smelling hair and compliments him on it. myne feels confused happiness and then realizes that being complimented by a boy makes him all flustered. oh no! could he be gay? what even is this society's attitude toward gay people?

tries asking around about gay people and generally gets an answer like, "everyone's gotta marry and have kids, don't they?" which doesn't really answer the question he's trying to ask, which is "if i'm gay, will that get me in trouble?" eventually, effa's like, "myne, you'll have to marry and have kids someday, but you and lutz can still be close if you want to be," and myne gets so flustered he stops asking questions.

lutz confronts myne about not being the real myne. myne confesses that he used to be someone else. lutz asks whether the person he was before myne was a woman. myne says yes, and lutz nods as if that makes sense. for some reason, myne feels really relieved, but that's probably just because lutz isn't going to tell anyone, right?

one day when left home alone, myne decides to try on the baptismal dress effa's been making for tuuli "just out of curiosity." she cries because it looks so nice on her.

the same thing happens with the hairpin they make for tuuli. she's starting to suspect this being a boy thing isn't working out exactly how she expected.

when effa starts working on myne's baptismal outfit, she decides she at least has to try. she tells her mom that she wants to wear a dress to her baptism instead of pants and a shirt. effa nods, smiles, and agrees to sew myne a dress for everyday use as well. myne is shocked. she never suspected that it would be that easy. effa laughs and explains that sometimes that just happens. jurgenschmidt society is fine with trans people, as long as they fulfill their societally-assigned gender roles.

no one bats an eye when myne starts wearing a dress and using feminine language. she finally feels like she's really at home in this world.

fast forward to myne staying the winter at the temple after becoming a blue shrine maiden. it's her first morning in the temple, and she gets summoned to ferdinand's chambers. he takes her into his hidden room, and she prepares for a lecture, but he just sighs and says, "you should have told me when you first entered the temple that your body was different." and myne is like, "huh? different? oh, right." because she genuinely forgets a lot of the time that she has a penis, so much so that ferdinand didn't even question her being a woman in her past life when he looked into her memories. she realizes delia must have noticed when giving her a bath last night and reported it. she tries to apologize, but ferdie just waves her to silence while tapping his temple. "i will need to rethink my plans for your future," he says, and myne's like, "uhhhhhhh, what?" but he doesn't elaborate, and after asking her a few questions about her life as a commoner, he sends her back to her rooms.

it isn't until later, when ferdinand explains to her that she will likely need to marry a noble someday, that she understands what he meant about his plans for her future. ferdinand explains that she will need to marry a man who is capable of bearing her children or have a mistress on the side to provide children for her. myne starts desperately thinking of ways to avoid either of these fates.

fast forward to myne starting to attend the RA. during her return to ehrenfest for the dedication ritual, ferdinand takes her into his hidden room and introduces her to the potions she will begin taking once she is sufficiently recovered from her time in the jureve that her body begins growing again. "potions? like the ultra-nasty rejuvenation potions?" but he shakes his head. "no, these potions are to help you develop the type of body you want." and then he explains that as she grows, she can use these potions to control whether or not her voice changes, she grows facial hair, she grows boobs, etc. myne immediately makes a grab for the titty potion but ferdinand slaps her hand away and reminds her she's still recovering from her time in the jureve.

hartmut and lieseleta both become experts in mixing the potions to help myne manage her body's changes through puberty, and she finally begins using them during her third year when her thinned mana allows her body to begin growing again. she's just sad that ferdinand isn't there to celebrate this moment with her.

when lestilaut tries to woo her at the tea party, she reveals that she is incapable of having his children, but he immediately brushes that concern aside with a, "i don't want you for your ability to produce children. that's not where your value lies." she internally clicks her tongue that the ace up her sleeve turned out to be useless.

during her fourth year, in the garden of beginnings, as anvachs begins to grow her body, she desperately reminds the gods that she's a girl and she wants a girly body with huge titties. when she's finally done growing, erwaermen explains that anvachs was so excited about making her look like mestionora, he hadn't even heard her request. myne gets a chill thinking about how close the gods came to fucking up her entire transition.

after rescuing ferdinand, myne is baffled when various people who know she's trans, starting with hannelore, start suggesting that she marry ferdinand. "it might be a political marriage, but i'm not interested in having a mistress on the side!"

it isn't until she rushes back to ehrenfest's castle to warn ferdinand that people are trying to marry them to one another that ferdinand casually drops the bombshell, "my body is different too, rozemyne."

yeah, that's right this is also a trans!ferdinand AU ha ha bet you never saw that one coming XD

anyway, everyone's fine with myne and ferdie becoming a couple since they're t4t and the two of them laugh all the way into the sunset with their happy qpr marriage

the end

[nw-of-dark]

Mage: Awakening vs. Ascension

So I have been playing World of Darkness for a short while now and I'm also contentious in regards to Mage and its two iterations; Awakening and Ascension. Awakening is part of Chronicles of Darkness whereas Ascension is a part of World of Darkness, and they are basically parallel universes of the same-ish game.

When I started playing Awakening, I found the rules to be fairly straightforward, and I didn't have to struggle through pages of flavor text like with other World of Darkness games. The one thing I really appreciate about Ascension is its lore. It's fascinating how philosophical the game can get, whether it's during character creation or actual gameplay. Ascension explores themes such as the nature of reality, the dynamics of power, and power over the narrative.

I generally play the setting of Ascension with the rules of Awakening, but I have recently been reading about Ascension more (particularly, 20th Anniversary/4th Edition) and a homebrew of Ascension 5th Edition.

As a fan of the 5th Edition World of Darkness game lines, I am disappointed that only Vampire, Werewolf, and Hunter have been released so far. Until we get a full set, I'll have to make do with homebrews and supplements from the 4th Edition to satisfy my craving for supernatural horror.

As for this blog, I will be covering both Awakening and Ascension lore but primarily focusing on Ascension. I will, masochistically, try to work the Awakening paths and orders into the setting of Ascension and I will leave you with this question; what are your thoughts on Awakening and/or Ascension?

[lieutenantselnia]

I wanted to make a May the 4th post dedicated to my Star Wars f/os yesterday, but I gotta be honest I just did not have the energy ._. So I'm just gonna do it now though!

I never really talked much about my Star Wars f/os on here because despite having 5 of them (maybe more if you count platonics), they're all secondary f/os and I hardly find the time to dedicate art or writing to them. They still mean a lot to me though and I think they're wonderful and interesting characters, so here they are💕

First up, Grand Admiral Thrawn/Mitth'raw'nuruodo, I first got to know him properly through Rebels (I knew he had existed in the Legends universe before already but didn't particularly care about him) and not going to lie, for a while I found him really annoying. He seemed very arrogant to me and I didn't get how he could always be a step ahead of the rebels, but I learned to understand and appreciate him, and somehow I fell in love with him eventually. At the time he was probably the strongest fictional crush I ever had (this man literally made me question my asexuality at some point - I didn't know that micro-labels like grey-, demi- or fictosexual were a thing back then). I didn't know about the existence of a self ship community back then, but in my head I shipped a character that was basically myself with him (with a few changes of course, like I was 16 at the time but my s/i was obviously a grown adult, the story I had in mind for her wouldn't have made sense otherwise anyway). I also started writing character x reader fanfictions about him! I finished a few one-shots, but the only multi-chapter story I started has unfortunately been laying around abandoned for a few years. I still kind of want to write an ending for it one day, but I don't know when that will happen. I struggled with my feelings for Thrawn after some uncomfortable experience with a former acquaintance in the Star Wars community, but as this is luckily in the past and maybe I can reconnect with him some day (In the meantime I'd love to meet other Thrawn shippers who are comfortable sharing him!). Regardless of that my love for him has had a significant influence on me, because without him I would've probably never made my art instagram account (the first social media account I made aside my personal insta account that I never use) and wouldn't have met many of my wonderful online friends.

Next up, Admiral Ar'alani, she's gorgeous and at least partially responsible for my bi awakening. I mean just look at her! Due to being a book character she's probably kind of underrated and less well known, I'd love to see an animated series about her and the crew of the Steadfast! I loved her in the Thrawn trilogy, I still have to read the Ascendancy trilogy though.

Commodore Karyn Faro probably wins the price for the most underrated f/o among them (also F in the chat for her for having literally 2 canonical depictions in a comic and no other visual reference, that's why I had to choose a slightly silly picture for her). I loved reading from her perspective in the Thrawn trilogy and I always enjoyed her dynamic with him too. Despite having her as an f/o I also ship her with Ar'alani, I think they'd make a cute couple. At the moment her canonical fate is pretty much unknown (I don't think it was ever made clear whether she left the Chimaera to transfer to her own fleet before Thrawn left for Lothal or not?), but although it is unlikely I personally wish that she'd also somehow end up with the Chiss like Eli did and get a happy ending with them.

Tech was just a very relatable character for me, and I knew I'd like him pretty much from the start. I always had a weak spot for this slightly nerdy scientist type of characters (namely Kowalski from TPoM and Mr. Spock from Star Trek TOS), I just never really f/o'd any of them before since I was like 8 years old or so at the time I was obsessed with them. But oh I had so much fun watching Tech, and his quote "I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you"? That hit right in the heart especially since I could relate so much to it. Also he must still be alive, I don't accept that he's gone no matter what the canon says.

Last but not least, I think General Grievous/Qymaen jai Sheelal was actually my second proper fictional crush, but for some reason it took me until last year to properly admit to it? I don't know, apparently 13 year old me was unconsciously in denial about being a monster lover, or just somehow unaware that I could just ship myself or an oc with him and didn't have to pick one of the canon characters. He's a character I'd actually love to come back some time, it's mainly that I'm too focused on my other f/os at the moment, but I think he deserves more love (yes I know he's kind of horrible too, but I think horrible fictional guys can still be loved and cherished).

Anyway this got longer than I anticipated, but at least you have an introduction to some of my secondary f/os now I guess. Anyways I hope you all had a happy Star Wars day, and who knows, maybe some of these guys here will make an appearance on my blog again in the future <3

[tsukasa-rec]

A small question.

Good day everyone！ I'm usually on Twitter mostly, but a small question came up. I was wondering if people in other countries are struggling with Japanese. Do you have trouble trying to search TF?

Many Japanese are shy and avoid searching to avoid being found by officials…Like ninja！ The Japanese language has three types of characters: kanji, katakana, and hiragana, but many people try to avoid being caught in searches by combining characters and symbols from other countries.

For example, so many cryptic words are used in Soundwave alone. Some of the cloaks are commonly known, while others are used only by individuals. It is very difficult to translate Japanese accurately, not only because of the character names, but also because of the many cryptic words used in various areas.

Also, since the movie was released, I think some of the Japanese fans have [コグあり] or [決別済] listed next to their account name. That means that they have already watched the movie! Both are so described from the description of obtaining the transform cog in the work and from the description of the breakup between Orion and D to indicate whether the work has been viewed or not. Incidentally, the Japanese title at the time of “RISE OF THE BEASTS” was “ビースト覚醒,” so I used “覚醒済” meaning awakening.

Try a Japanese search for [Sentinel] as a test. The standard Japanese spelling is 【センチネル】. Some fans call him [ワンチネル]. This is a term coined from the movie title [ONE] and [Sentinel]. ONE is the same sound as the onomatopoeia of a dog's cry in Japanese, so a dog-like expression is also added. The rest will probably be caught in a search on ルネチンセ. But this is often used for AT, not ONE. That's what they called it when the cartoon was on the air. If you are interested in Japan and TF and want to know more, I can help you. Please feel free to ask me. Thx☻ ――――――――――――――――――――― ■bonus■ I am sure that many of you who follow me like Soundwave and Shockwave. I'll tell you what their search terms are, too! ↓Soundwave↓ サウンドウェーブ　(official name) 音波　(orthodox)

↓Shockwave↓ レーザーウェーブ (official name for Japanese G1-2 and ENERGON only) 光波　(orthodox)

ショックウェーブ　(other official name) 衝撃波　(orthodox) ショッキー　(nickname)

[deviouslittlecreature]

Okay I sort of apologize for this post because I'm slightly stoned and this is just one of those pure euphoria moments you have while high but the beautiful realization that my top surgery is happening, and that it's covered, it's basically paid for, no strings attached, no matter what happens everything is fine, and there's no obstacles in my way

I am so unbelievably euphoric, my partner will have money to spoil me and celebrate my transition, I'm going to start my inner healing journey, I'm going to finally look at myself and see exactly what I've been dreaming of since I was 14, and I'm going to do it exactly on time

The feeling of love and happiness and freedom is so wonderful, and it's only a little longer, a couple more steps, right in front of me and it's mine, all entirely mine, no more sleepless nights wondering how manly I am, or how I can prove myself valid, just beautiful bliss, that's all, happiness, wonder, excitement, hope for my future confidence

It is a dream starting to awaken, a future looking bright and passionate, I can see the brightest path ahead, I did it, I did it exactly how and when I wanted to, I'm ready, I proved myself worthy of this battle, I claimed my freedom after crawling through the darkest tunnels, falling down cliffs and chasms, getting dragged through muddy waters in a storm, I conquered feelings of suicide and impostor syndrome, I shot down questions of my own validity

One day, you, whether trans, nonbinary, genderfluid, or just a cis person who is struggling with their identity, you will feel the love and euphoria, you will see the path of bright smiles and warm laughter, you fucking got this

I'm gonna spread the love and happiness around, because it's just so badly needed, I wanna bring some smiles to those who are struggling to feel comfortable within themselves, I hope you get this, I hope you get this gift and you feel so fucking good, and everything is okay

Love yall

[rebelsofshield]

Would you have done something completely different with the Sequel Trilogy?

Thank you for the question anon! I love these.

I'm not sure if you are asking me whether I'd do a completely different story for the Sequel Trilogy or if I would have made changes to the films we got. Frankly, I don't know if I would have changed a whole lot about the basic premise of the trilogy. I love all of the characters and I think its metatextual themes about myth and legacy are doing some interesting things when they appear. But, there are quite a few small changes I would make to The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi and some very large changes I'd make to The Rise of Skywalker.

The First Order vs. Resistance / New Republic conflict is maybe the trilogy's original sin that causes a lot of the problems that follow. I think the idea of having the First Order be a group of neo-fascists that are obsessed with restoring an authoritarian government that few directly experienced is a smart idea and the natural step for a trilogy spanning conflict. It also feels incredibly relevant to today's current political struggles. I think the issues start to show up when they are established as this uber powerful galaxy conquering group instead of a very dangerous and underestimated faction of extremists. On a purely aesthetic level it would help differentiate them from the Empire but it also would put a fun spin on the original trilogy's formula rather than directly copying it. I do also like the general idea that The New Republic is generally dismissive of The First Order as a danger to the galaxy and that Leia had to take things into her own hands to get things done. But! I would've liked to see this explained a bit more clearly in The Force Awakens. If you aren't reading the supplementary material, the exact political make up of the galaxy at the start of the film isn't clearly established and I wouldn't blame you if you missed it entirely.

Nix Starkiller base. I think that in general the criticisms that The Force Awakens is a retread of A New Hope are a bit exaggerated, but the annoyance of having yet another Death Star is where I start to feel that there is some merit. It's unnecessary. It would be just as, if not more affecting, if The First Order had some well planned attack that they were able to pull off right under the New Republic's nose. A fascist government that's able to overthrow a better funded democratic government through tactics and corruption is a way scarier threat than another planet exploding ball.

Make the Knights of Ren more prevalent. I like the current canon of them being their own, self motivated faction of Dark Sider, but the original understanding that they were other disaffected disciples of Luke's makes much more sense and feels more dramatically interesting to me. I would have liked to see them as a more consistent presence in the series. It also would have been a fun payoff if part of the reason that Kylo ends up aiding the fight against Palpatine in The Rise of Skywalker is because the rest of the Knights are seduced away from his leadership.

Give Chewbacca something to do. We needed his hug with Leia in The Force Awakens. We needed a grief arc for him in The Last Jedi. We needed to have him find some sort of future or purpose in The Rise of Skywalker. This is one of the most beloved Star Wars characters of all time, but his role for most of the trilogy is minimal despite the clear emotional trauma at its center.

Finn needs his stormtrooper rebellion arc. I actually don't hate the general shape of Finn's story in The Last Jedi as much as most people, but I do think that The Force Awakens sets up a story about his connection to other First Order infantry in a way that is never properly followed up on. I'd love to lean into that further and actually make that a story that is followed up on. Also make him and Poe boyfriends.

No Rey Palpatine. I'm actually not opposed to Sidious being the final villain of the trilogy. I think the First Order being a facet of his resurgence to power makes a lot of sense and I'm even down for the idea that Snoke was a being that was wittingly or unwittingly under Palpatine's control the whole time. But Rey Palpatine is a no go for me. The end thrust of the story where she assumes the Skywalker name could be done without making her the literal progeny of Sidious. Sidious could still want to use her as a powerful Force user without her being his granddaughter. You could keep most of the struggles she has with purpose and legacy in The Rise of Skywalker without having to bubble the full saga down into a war between bloodlines.

No clean cut redemption for Kylo Ren. Star Wars is a series about forgiveness and second chances and I am ultimately fine with Kylo making his steps back towards the light by the end of the trilogy, but I just don't buy him becoming a swashbuckling hero at the end of The Rise of Skywalker and I absolutely don't buy any romantic/sexual relationship with Rey. The most interesting scenario would have been to have Kylo work against Palpatine originally as a way to secure his own power and as an extension of his "burn it all down" ideology from The Last Jedi, but gradually begin to work towards more moments of direct aide for the heroes and more moments of direct selflessness. I'm torn on whether he should live or die at the end of the trilogy, but leave him with work to do is the way to go. So much of the series was about him choosing the dark at every opportunity offered to him, I think seeing him finally choose the light at the end would be powerful, but it shouldn't be an easy path at all.

Anakin Force Ghost.

[decoysouled]

unprompted asks // always accepting. anonymous // Arakan, what were your thoughts when your mother died? Where were you, how did you feel? What was your grieving process like? (dsc. modern)

THE DAY THEIR MOTHER HAD DIED, it was as if the sun had gone out — Makoto, to Arakan, had always been so full of life & even though her care had never been extended to her children, it was hard to see her as anything other than bright & alive & loved by those around her. Even they had cared deeply for her, despite how little of their childhood she had been around for, & that enough had left them with a deep agony in their chest.

( their brother had always been more of a parent than her. )

The day their mother had died, it was like closing a book for the last time; one that they would never read the ending to. It was like watching the pages fall into puddles, slowly becoming unreadable, the ink blurring alongside their tears — it was that day which set in motion their current life, one of isolation & the desperate need to convince themself that they do not need people in their life. That they do not need to be cared for & wanted & loved.

( no matter how they craved those things, they were never Arakan's to start with. )

The day their mother had died, it was like being set adrift on a raft in the seas, forced to weather the most violent of storms alone. By the time they had realised just how much they were drowning in their grief, in things they could never have, desires that would never come true, Arakan was already alone — Ren no longer spoke to them, albeit they did not reach out either, & Kaminari had left them behind & gotten into trouble & they hated it, how long it took them to realise that no one could be trusted to stay.

( it was funny, really, how of a family of four, three people had left. Kaminari, their mother, their father... had all abandoned them & they did not know why. did not understand the reasons. only that they were alone & alone they would stay. )

The day their brother had left, it was like waking up from a long dream, one they had not been aware they were trapped within. It was a slow awakening, the type that left one with exhaustion set deep within their bones & a sadness aching within their heart & everything had been hit with hurt all at once. A wall they could not climb over, a pain they could drown in. It had been the deepest grief they had ever felt, the realisation that no one wished to stay.

Even this tied back to the day their mother died, like some cosmic joke. Like some cruel trick.

❝I wished I had known her better.❞ Arakan speaks, voice quiet, in lieu of voicing any of their previous thoughts — there was no need, in the end, to speak of the ways their heart had been shattered like a glass dropped on hardwood floors. There was no need, in the end, to allow themself the vulnerability to answer such a question when there was no true care given. It is simply another struggle, another thing to think about that they wish they didn't have to.

Simply another pouring of salt in old wounds that had never quite healed right.

❝I let myself drift away from the world for a long time, but I don't remember much of it. I went through the motions, I lived my life on autopilot until the day Kaminari decided to leave, too.❞ As if they had never mattered at all. As if they had never been loved at all. As if they had never been wanted at all. They had never held him at fault for that, neither his reaction to the death of their mother nor the way he had abandoned Arakan in his own grief.

They had been used to it by then.

❝When I found out, my only thought was... I wondered whether she had loved us, when she died. Whether she had thought about me or Kaminari in her last moments, or if we never mattered to her at all.❞ It had been a selfish set of thoughts, one they had never dared to verbalise. ❝Mostly... I wish people would let me leave her in the past. I've done my mourning & I'm tired of it.❞

They wish everyone would let her memory rest, if only so Arakan could finally begin to let go & forget about everything she had ever done. It wouldn't happen, not with the way that funeral director acted or the way Kaminari asked them to visit her grave with him & Arakan had never found it in themself to say no. After all, he had been there for them for the longest time & it was only right to return such a favour.

( i just want to forget her. i want to forget everything that hurts me. )

[nova-dracomon]

Hello, big fan of your content, and I hope this isn’t the stupidest question, but I just want to know so I can hopefully know myself; my body better.

How does one figure out whether their body is a system? Is there a sort of process // awakening that sorta happens with therianthropy and the like? Are there any sort of ��dead giveaways” that happen that reveal a system instead of a singlet? How to rule out something as an inner voice vs a headmate or something of the sort?

I am eternally confused and potentially misguided, but also would appreciate any clarification. Apologies if I offended or misunderstood any terms, but I just don’t know right now.

It's not a stupid question at all! It's something a lot of us struggle with because it can be difficult to discern. Especially, if like us, in the beginning our host actively worked to suppress everyone else.

We've met ppl who say they've always known, others have one event that just makes everything click into place, and we just kinda slid down a gradual slope to acceptance and actually talking it out. Every system is different and it's impossible to give a one-size-fits-all answer.

So, we'll do the next best thing and talk about how we personally experience plurality. This is by no means gospel or the trueTM way to be a system.

The biggest difference between headmates vs inner monologue vs a character we daydream about is headmates talk back--they're sentient. They have their own thoughts, desires and feelings where a daydream character doesn't and only repeats what our inner voice tells them to--not unlike a remote control toy.

Larka (Host): I experience all my thoughts as words. If I get hungry, in my head I'll 'hear' a thought version of my voice say "I'm hungry" instead of like, envisioning a sandwich. When I first started hearing my headmates, I'd hear another voice alongside my inner voice. It was unprompted, didn't sound like me, and had an "energy" signature attached to it. Everyone here as a unique one that accompanies anything they say--so even if the way their voice sounds fluctuates, we'll know who spoke.

Communication can also be done by sharing emotions. Even if you want something, if someone else doesn't, it can cause conflicting feelings and indecisiveness. Something we've always said about ourselves is that, it doesn't matter how we feel in the moment, because our opinion is so likely to change anyway.

An example of communication: Larka's speeding again. She's feeling good because she loves driving fast and jamming out to MCR. Thorn is annoyed because this happens everyday. Larka's busy thinking about how much she loves Helena. As a stop sign comes into view, there's a sudden shared bolt of discontent laced with anxiety followed by the phrase. "You better do a FULL stop this time." Larka does a full stop.

One particular piece of media that was the biggest turning point for us being "oh shit that might be us" is I am Dog(s). It's a semi-autobiographical narrative that follows a transwoman realizing that she is also plural and a therian. We highly recommend checking it out! If nothing else, it's an easy and fun read.

[heebsjeebs]

Library AU and Blade

Blade gave me a headache because of the technological development of the setting and the fact that Blade is a fucking robot. However, I didn't want to disregard the specific type of otherness that he deals with. I could have simply made him some type of neurodivergent and preserve some of his struggles that way, but him being a bit of an oddball isn't enough. In the end, I decided to make him artificial in a different way. So Blade is a doll.

Talking too much about Blade's story would give away some stuff I'm trying to keep quiet about, but here are some things that I can go into.

Blade was created roughly seventy years ago. He was ordered to keep an eye on the library. He's not aware of why he was issued this order, but he is told that the tomes in the library are important and that they must be preserved. His prime directive is to protect the collection and make sure it isn't lost, whether the librarian is there or not. He's told to report any changes in the situation regarding the library, however.

Initially, Blade tried to be stealthy about it, but he was caught thanks to some magical artifacts that he had not been warned about. Blade, being honest to a default, told the librarian that he was here to watch them work, and they allowed Blade to stay in exchange for help managing the collection, specifically when it comes to recovering stolen books.

At the mention of stolen books, Blade's priority instructions kick into gear and he agrees to do it. Unfortunately for him, and his creator, this means that sometimes he's in a completely different side of the world trying to bring back something that was borrowed and never returned.

Having read some tomes himself, he begins to awaken a conscience and question some of the things he's doing, but he is too late. It's during one of his long travels that the librarian leaves.

Blade tries to get a hold of his creator and fails to find them. So when he's left alone wondering what to do, he clings to his prime directive, and starts trying to get back the books that keep getting stolen now more frequently than ever.

Now I will make up for the scarce details by talking about the anatomy of Blade.

He's made of soft clay. The ritual to make dolls like him require a sufficiently human shaped doll and constant use of magic even while sculpting the doll. When successful, the clay will feel and look like human skin and flesh, and the doll will gain cognitive functions. They're not supposed to have a strong sense of self.

Dolls like him were originally created for combat, to increase the size and power of armies that knew this magic. Because he's basically made of dirt, he's very heavy and getting him by him is no small issue. Despite this, he's also nimble.

Just like normal Blade, he doesn't need sleep or food. However, this version of Blade also CAN'T eat since there is nothing there to even simulate a digestive system. He can simulate it, but his esophagus is a dead end.

His body moves the way a person's would, but it can be twisted unnaturally without it causing any damage; the clay is bendy and elastic enough to return to normal after a blow. In the case of cuts or losing small chunks of himself, it's possible for Blade to heal by slapping some wet dirt on himself. He was to be careful with the colour of the dirt, though. If he applies a dark soil, that area will look dark until he replaces it with some that matches his skin better. He can bypass hue mismatches to a degree by mixing in dyes and paint.

In the case of amputation or missing large chunks of himself, it's more complicated; Blade needs someone who is good at sculpting the human form to fix that. He could do it himself, technically, but we have seen in canon that he is not very good: any limbs he tries to regrow himself dry up and fall off.

[lindajenni]

sep 11

a more excellent way

"but earnestly desire the best gifts. and yet i show you a more excellent way." 1 cor 12:31

from there the apostle paul begins to expound the beautiful love chapter. "though i speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal." 1 cor 13:1

are you a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal? in other words, what you do for God, is it really a "works" or solely the love of God and mankind, seeking God's glory? paul tells us that it doesn't matter how gifted we are or how hard we labor for the kingdom, it might well be all in vain.

Jesus said, "many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?'" matt 7:22 and His response will be. "i never knew you." you see, they were not only trusting in their works, they were also doing them with the wrong motive.

i learned that lesson very well the night my mother died. i know i have told this story before, but i believe the lesson it teaches justifies repeating it.

i had been through several years of struggle and illness with my mother. not to try to justify any motives, but one's flesh becomes tired and a little resentful when burdened for a time. mine was in that state. although i was dutifully doing whatever might be required of her care, my heart was not where it should be.

my mother had just come home from the hospital, yet again. though i did not know it then, it was for the last time. i was sleeping on the floor in her room so i would be nearby to hear her requests and assist her as needed. she had already called out to me multiple times for assistance and now once again, i heard her voice awaken my slumber. as i got up to help again, there was a tinge of resentment at having all this be my burden.

i am not one prone to visions or hearing God speak, at least not audibly, but even though i felt no holy presence, a sudden thought entered my mind which i knew was from God. it pierced my heart so deep i can almost hear it still. "if you don't do it in love, it doesn't mean anything."

you see, God isn't impressed by the things we do but the love we do them with. i had heretofore done everything a dutifully daughter should, but God was not impressed. He wanted more from me. He wanted me to know the love Christ felt on the cross when He uttered, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." luke 23:34

likewise, i did not know what i was doing when i did it only dutifully and not with love. i doubt whether we will be questioned at the pearly gates by saint peter when we arrive, but if we were, i have heard it said there would be only one question asked: "did you learn to love?" not just those who love us in return, but those in which love brings no return.

truly, "love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 cor 13:4-7 love is not love till you give it away.

i passed my mother from my arms into God's that night, peacefully and lovingly. because God had spoken to my heart there would be no regrets or guilt for the enemy of all lies to beat me down with. God opened my ears to His whisper in my hour of need. He is so good.

i learned my lesson that night, but truly it is a lesson that must be learned over and over again. it's not a one time lesson. it must be learned and lived daily, given freely and taught others by example. it is the more excellent way. "beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 john 4:7 indeed, God is love.

this IS knowing God. how will you answer the question if ever it is asked? i'm asking you now. "have you learned to love?" i believe we are about to experience love in a way we have never known before. the One who loves us most will summon us unto Himself. "and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also." john 14:3 He has been in preparation of that place for two thousand years now. i think it's about ready for us to come home.

"Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world." john 17:24 there's that amazing love again!

Jesus further said, "by this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." john 13:35 i look around today and i see so much dissension among His body. it makes one wonder why the enemy would even need to fire a shot. there is so much "friendly fire." certainly there are some doctrines that must be adhered to and really be called christian, but all the rest are just squabbles for the Holy Spirit to sort out, not us. we worry so about the speck in another's eye and ignore the plank in our own. "let each be fully convinced in his own mind." rom 14:5

if we were ever to be used by the Spirit for correction, like an archeologist digging for unknowns, we must gently dust away the dirt shrouding the treasure hidden below - the one for whom Christ died. love as Christ loves us! Jesus told us the two greatest commandments and they had to do with love; God first and man second.

[visualbrainrot]

I read Prufrock and loudly refuted my interest in T.S Eliot. Because I hated Prufrock and who wants to study another dingy old man who thinks the world is against him. I sat and I talked shit, I muttered and I moaned about how stupid his privileged little opinions were. How can someone who has never faced adversity possibly have this much of an adverse reaction to general society?

However, I quickly ate my words when I read Preludes. The way this poem reached down into my heart, ripped it out from my sternum and succinctly dissected it in front of a wide audience. Because my soul truly is "constituted" of a "thousand sordid images". Because I never do actually feel like a whole person with a whole soul, but a fragmented monstrosity stitched together from the skins of a thousand different individuals, reaching out and wondering how I can become together. And is all I am "muddy feet" or the "hands" that "raise dingy shades". Nothing but a part or two. Never one, never a person but just a human version of a thing. So socially isolated altogether that I can no longer be classified under the term Homo Sapien. And then I wonder for the "conscience of the blackened street" that I "trample" every day on my "insistent feet". And I feel bad, that the ground ever had to carry the weight of my fractured person, that I myself cannot even lift some days. That I have put this burden of my disconnectedness onto the world itself because I am so careless with my heavy tread.

And don't even get me started on Journey of The Magi. I thought my soul exploded right out of my body when I read this. It felt as if the very universe was beginning in a bang right inside of me. The deep relatedness I felt to this poem was overwhelming. Because I have been the Magi, and I have discovered and I have shunned just as he did. I relate to the poem probably not in a journey of spiritual awakening and affinity for Christianity as T.S Eliot intended, but as one of personal growth and discovery. The biblical allusion and religious symbolism are something so profound to me as a queer individual who attended a Christian school. As someone who listened to people ache and moan about my very existence. Which in turn caused me to hurt and suffer, question my identity and my role in this world and ultimately develop mistrust and wariness of religion altogether. But now I am me and I too, like the Magi, have had "such a long journey" to get to the place I am. My path of self-discovery and ultimately an okayness with myself is something "I would do again" at any cost. And sometimes I wonder if it was a "birth or death?". For who I was before, is she dead, lost forever? Or is she buried within me, leaving space for the birth of me as I am now? This new, enlightened, awakened version of myself, is she truly any better than I used to be? Because at the end of the day, I still hurt and I still fight for myself within my own mind and this birth of me, who I am now "was [a] hard and bitter agony [...], like death". And every day I still feel at ill ease when I visit places of my "old dispensation". As I view my old friends and watch my estranged family as they become an "alien people" to me, forever "clutching their [foreign] gods". Whether these gods be literal or metaphorical. I watch their struggle and I feel disconnected, untethered from them and their ideals, floating in a bubbling lake of anxiety and poor judgment. I do not know where I belong in the world where I no longer believe in their deity. I feel disconnected and untethered like an astroid floating aimlessly in space.

Please tell me why I'm insane Thomas, you're the only one who knows.

[sanghyukstattoos]

SF9: sexual expressions

Genres: multiple au's [warnings: brief mentions of death, trauma, anxiety]; fluff-fluff-fluff; smut-smut-smut [contains mention/description of somnophilia kink (gentler than it's description), semi-public sex, baby-making, oral, mutual masturbation]

A/N: None of the images in the collage are mine, refer to here for more; For more SF9, read here, for iKON, read here and for optional bias writings, read here

Youngbin:

There's something in his expression, that rolls off his tongue when crass bursts of arousal coarse through him, rushing everywhere in such a natural manner, whether he's found something nice or in joy, his breathy moans and gasp-less breaths are something that awaken arousal, specifically yours. At first his moans may be muffled but as he relaxes, he opens up in the comfort an safety of being with you, you whose presence allows him to lower his tense state. To watch you would be his first thought but as your head bobs and you use your hand in a way that makes his back arch and moans fervently spill, he gets distracted, closing his eyes and losing himself in everything that floats around him. At the end, his thighs may quiver but he's already reaching for you, pulling you into his arms. Onto the bed or tent or the sheet that is rumpled in the back of his truck, he slips into you, groaning, sighing an settling into you. He takes his time to start moving, kissing your cheeks as he does. With every rush of arousal, he lightly bites your shoulder, enough for you to feel his teeth but not enough to hurt you. He caresses your backside the most, squeezing the flesh, especially as he releases. But even when you are on all fours, he makes sure to admire your backside, responding to your moans when he softly hits the flesh or uses your waist as a guide along his cock. He'll describe how feels, ''You're so warm'' or something like that, something that wrecks you and also him to pound into you, picking up the pace. When it's the end of a long day and you want to make love, he'll settle with you under the covers and gently rock himself against you, allowing you to vent or just speak to him then, killing two birds with one stone. This is because he knows that both of you will fall asleep immediately. In line with this, there is also something I want to try: Youngbin with somnophilia kink. This won't be as intense as it's description. Two to three hours after the both of you have fallen asleep, he wakes up, with a small desire already in his mind but it's when he sees you that his desires grow and he wakes you, kissing your tired self out of the haziness of falling back asleep. He feels a little guilty yes, but his thoughts are hay-wired at the moment towards you. If you respond to his desires with your vocal agreement, he won't hesitate to slip into your heat, groaning in relief at the way your core swallows every inch of his cock and soon, he'll pound you into the mattress. ''Binnie'', you ask as he slows down to see your sex taking in his cock, he hums, placing his head in between your breasts or on your chest, listening, ''Go faster please.'', which he chuckles and immediately agrees too. When you release and neither of you are ready to fall back asleep, he tugs you towards the window- one of your favourite places to have sex, it was where he took you when you had sex for the first time. Your chest against the glass, he takes you from behind, quietening himself to hear your moans and whimpers and well-demands. Demands which when came from you, he would easily comply too.

Inseong:

His sounds? Beautiful.

I'll try out this idea as well, since you asked about expression during sex: speaking. Perhaps out of excitement, he'll tell you stuff from the top of his head. Sweet words like, ''You're so beautiful'', ''so pretty, my love'', or whisper to you, ''I'm so excited'' always eliciting a a beautiful laugh from you, ''heh, cutie'', you may reply with this nickname which soothes his ears and tickles his sides with excitement. The first couple of time you have sex, he may be serious, furrowing his brows in concentration on how he is feeling. Accordingly, his sounds may alert you to his status, breathy moans are his main type of vocalisation he would let out, maybe when you suck him off or you have sex. He may even struggle on sounds the first couple of time but it's something that he doesn't dwell on too much after speaking to you about it, ''Don't worry, just let out how you feel about it.'' you said and he did exactly that. His type of sex with you is to make every moment last, each significant piece of memory stamped with your intimacy on it. When he eases himself into the comfort of having sex with you, he'll start to tell you jokes, inciting a bright atmosphere between you two. Armed with his jokes, he'll make you laugh and it'll always be something between you two, leading to or being inside jokes, never something from outside your intimate space. He's also the type to make a haven out of you bedroom space, together, you would attach a cover above your bed and leave the lights on, glazing your naked bodies like sleeping in a tent under the stars, except that it is in your bedroom. The space is safe, free to speak each other about anything and everything. During discussions, he would love to hold you, your waist or lean on his elbows and listen to you, about your day and how you are feeling. It's there that you'll make love to one another, setting each other's minds free from the ongoing troubles and/or enjoying your peace. He's got a nickname for you, maybe something from your name that he'll tell you really sweetly when he starts his conversation with you as he enters you. He'll pay attention to your sounds, ''You feel good baby?'' is his question, filled with his innocence behind them. You nod. ''Fuck- I feel so good baby'' is one of them, he'd whimper it out, followed by his stuttering moans, open and filling your ears. He sounds absolutely beautiful. ''Seongie, let me take care of you'', ''You don't have to baby'' he'll say and if you do continue, he'll go on to then lose himself in the pleasure you give, you curiously peeking eyes at his state that once your eyes connect, he doesn't leave your gaze.

Jaeyoon:

Regal Jaeyoon

He's got it out for you in the most playful way possible. He could've met you just yesterday, last week, two months ago or you've been childhood friends, regardless he sees the beauty in you. He's got many sides to him as does everyone, but unlike being around them, he understands that he can freely show them to you for example, his anger which would not be a suitable look on the king-to-be. When he's angry, he paces around in the study room before thinking that he should ask you for your opinion. So he comes to your room in the palace or picks you up outside your house, sitting side by side on the stone sculptures that are topped with granite to make for a seat or just to hang by when looking outside, swinging his legs. His hand on the cool granite and yours are not far from one another, he wishes to hold your hand and to hold you in his arms but he's not sure, he would want you to be okay with it first. But how does he get there? You can bet that he'll chase you around the market, his heart beating extra fast when he catches you. Having just recently figured out his feelings for you, he hesitates to tickle you as he usually does, instead he feels the need, the desire to connect your lips. His lips are soft and warm and he tastes of a fruit he just ate, apple or mango slices and to him, your response is everything. Your hands wander up his coat lapels, reaching his shirt collar and tugging him closer, lovingly. He giggles when you break away and he can't stop the smile that lights his whole expression, looking at you with possibly all the love in in his eyes and he doesn't notice that this occurs whenever he looks at you. ''Jaeyoon...'' you start, chuckling when he's just about to kiss you but then he pulls away to hear what you have to say, nodding to tell you that he's listening. You laugh at his adorable movement, bringing him closer for another kiss, ''I have so many questions'', ''shoot!'' he adorably says but you shake your head instead, wrapping your hands around him and the two of you bring yourselves together, under the bright summer lights and muffled screeching of seagulls arguing over who gets the last bread crumb.

I'm not sure if Jaeyoon's one for semi-public sex or not, I've been quite conflicted in my thoughts about this. He may not be or he may be, especially if he's horny for you, more often that not, in places he shouldn't do. Imagine that you are moving to a new place, your sofa is strapped at the back of the moving truck. He's going to drive you but he's not ready to move the truck all morning. He'd let you know that he's in the mood by having you in his arms and well grabbing your ass, dipping his hand in between your thighs, ''y/n, I want you.'', he'd say, plain and simple. You'd kiss and kiss till he's settle you down on the sofa, the truck parked in between two tall structures on a sun-out, non-traffic studded cobble road. ''Really?'', you shouldn't be surprised as you look at your boyfriend rolling on the condom and entering you, ''Really?'', ''yes'', he says laughing, ''Yes baby, god I love you so much.'', he's overcome with emotions. He loves when you grab his ass during sex, especially when he has you under him, filling you up with his cock till he's released and is looking around, tugging his trousers up. He gives you his hand, leading you into the front seats. For whatever reason, he doesn't let go of your hand, ''So you going to drive or?'', ''I'm not sure that we should leave right now.'', ''We need to be there by noon, it's already oh!- five thirty. We have to leave now.'', ''Okay'' he nods, picking up the pace to your new house. You unload all your stuff into the house and then, it's the cardboard boxes. He's looking around, trying to make this work. At the back his mind, he knows that he's going to help you unpack and maybe even move in with you but for now, he's a little distracted. You can't help but ask, ''Babe'', ''Huh?'', ''What's going on? You are just staring at the boxes'', you say smiling when you spell it out. ''I'm just uh- come here?'', you go over, going to look at something. He sits on one of the boxes and pulls you onto his lap, placing soft kisses along your neck. The ache in his groin stirs and he groans into your neck. The image of you having sex moments ago is still engrained into his head, your sweaty skin and visual expressions, sounds are still on his mind. He gently slips your open shirt over your shoulders and your bra strap along with it, placing a kiss on your breast, hands wandering up and down your waist all the time. ''Don't stress over the move, you've got a lot of time.''. The moment is forever in your mind, fresh or not, it's a significant period of time, the time in between a few moments ago and getting accustomed to your new house. You manage to find a place outside, on the lawn with it's fresh grass, your clothes off and him making love to you. All the energy he had before comes back, as the sounds of hips snapping against yours can be heard as compared to his words, ''You're so beautiful'' and other random mumblings about you. It's too sweet. The scene I imagine now is that you are riding him in your new background, his back on the grass and you circle your hips, steadying yourself on his toned tummy. His moans sound sweet, just like when he whines softly, muffled, stuttering ever so often. When he's close and the snapping of your hips grow quicker, his moans get more breathy and the look on his face is one as a result of his closeness to releasing. The look of his as he releases could best describe the phrase, 'like the crashing of waves on a summer day'.

Dawon | Lee Sanghyuk:

Oh, what a cutie! His part in Fanatic!

I have an inkling that he sounds pretty when he's in his element of safety and comfort around you and especially, with you. Let's take our imaginations somewhere, possibly fun!: With his regal stage outfit, the one of blue and white, imagine that you meet him in Narnia, transported via the painting. The room that was once filled with water from the Sea on High Waters painting leaves you and washes you onto a beach of an island, dry. You are surprised but also pleasantly happy to be back, it's been some time since you've seen your relatives. Forward, there's nothing for miles except for water, happily splashing around in the midst of a summer day where breeze gently blows past your ears. Behind are walls of rock of an impossible feat, at least to climb. Further on top, you have to squint to see, there are the unmistakable green flashes of leaves and trees with sways a result of stronger breeze. On this beach is where you meet Sanghyuk. He's dressed in a way that a royal would, if not, that's how he walks, along with his soldiers. The buttons to his sleeveless blue coat are open and his crew look tired, as if it's been a long journey here. ''Excuse me, who are you?'' he asks customarily, not sensing any danger. His soldiers hang back but not too far. ''I'm...'' but you are lost for words. How do you explain it? Crowned by Aslan? You have no idea who they are. ''Come with me" he says, looking here and there, urgency in his tone. It's funny how he disarms your cautiousness, with his honesty and personality- humour that goes straight to your heart. ''Give me a minute'', he mentions to one of his crew members and with that, he shows you past the railing of the huge boat. It has it's name engraved in white right below you but you can't make out it's name. ''See, after we crash landed- the storms'' he clarifies, ''we've been stuck here''. He smiles even as he says it and then you realise, even in such a terrifying situation, how beautiful his smile is. He's optimistic, it should help with the rest of your journey, you think. And it does. You begin. Just before you make your first stop, you encounter magic in the form of gold, so much gold just scattered all over the valley. A trap. Anybody who came here died. You found skeletons under all of it. ''We need to get out of here'', at that moment, dust swarms your vision in a regulated dance, as if it has had time to practice on all the people that came before. You collectively shudder at the thought but at the end, you live. It is your bravery and ever longing passion to fight for what is right that impresses him. Along the way, you tell him the truth, one secret for the other except that it's not a secret and neither of you have anything to hide. Because it's something to be hidden either. You get to know one another after that, introduced properly after your revelations. You find somewhere inside the forest to rest, on a thin sheet, here to rest for the night. You are anxious. He hovers over you, running his hands up and down your arms. Soothing you, that is the feeling, with him it feels safer, almost as if your anxiety about the previous fight has been sucked away, into the lost abyss of any voice in this forest. His crew members are searching. ''Look at me'', he says, softly, like a command but sincerely, ''Does it work on your crew, when you speak to them like that?'' you tease softly from under him, curiously committing his features to memory. Out of all your adventures, this one was going to be your favourite, you could tell. ''If they knew..'' he trails off sweetly kissing your neck, ''They would never leave me alone.'', he ends with a chuckle. You chuckle at it too. You take in a breath and it occurs to you that as much as you are relaxed, you haven't taken a breath in a while. He eyes you, keenly, wondering if you should be okay with this. Your secrets are out in the open and he has no reason to worry, the last thought along calms him. ''Less talking Hyukie'', you murmur, grappling at his coat lapels. He perks up, it is because of the name. That name, he thinks, uttered

so softly, containing so much love. It is as if you read his mind that you murmur once again, ''Hyukie'', ever so softly now, drawing him upwards and connecting your lips to his. The world is silenced, it's noise drowned out as well your tension, long forgotten now. He loves the nickname. It stirs him up, the way you say it, how you say it, he wants to keep hearing it. Then is the other concern that he will never see you after this, that you will be transported back to the world beyond the painting you came from.

He pushes it away as he reveals your top, exposing the curve of your breast ever so beautifully. And then he makes the brave move of uncovering your breasts, lingering his lips over the supple skin. Your stretch marks or not, your tattoos or not, or not, he kisses the skin, taking your perky bud into his mouth. He makes you gasp, swallowing the bud into his mouth and flickering his tongue around it. It's so arousing. There's a fire in your belly, of all the things he does to you, he cares for you. There's enough room for that. The most poignant is his voice, his groan when he's entering you, holding you and gasping at the unholy loving expression on your face. There are some things about you like your moans as he makes your toes curl and his face when you release for the nth time throughout that would make him release, immediately, on the spot, if he were to ever witness it if the two of you were not under such circumstances. He wants to hold you close to him, to relish in these moments he has with you because he doesn't know when it's going to finish, the expedition or- what the two of you have. So he does exactly that, gasping so prettily when you straddle him, ''You're so pretty you know?'' you can't help but say. Everything about the way he sees you right now, through hooded eyes that struggle to stay open because he wants to see, to commit, your waist that he holds as he guides you up and down on his cock, the way your breasts bounce, your expression and how you can't hold in your moans. From this position, you feel him in deeper, he moves his hands from your waist to holding your own, gently coaxing another release out of you. He takes in everything and moves in tandem with you, like two people on opposite sides of a street, instinctively walking when they see the signal turn green. Visually, he absorbs everything which is why, he couldn't be finished, not now. You lay in his arms, awake at almost six in the morning when the sun is barely peeking out from behind the mountains. You have a conversation about moments before when he awoke to you rustling your trousers on. He has his arms wrapped around you, like he doesn't want you to leave and from you confessing that you like him moments earlier, you suspect that you won't go now. His insatiability comes back when confesses that he likes you to, swathing you in his kisses, making you moan and grab him everywhere as you ask him of all the things he would gladly do for you.

Rowoon | Kim Seokwoo:

Possible au?, I'm in love with au's these days: I suspect that Seokwoo would introduce you to his cabin that is not to far away from civilisation. He could have met you as a new neighbour who recently moved into town and someone you grew close to very quickly or more towards the angel/demon au trope, he rescues you from a little accident which explain why he lives where he lives, there is nobody to bother him but is close enough for him to gather supplies. Truthfully, you could think of anything but the main principle applies: he is someone that you can trust and a person who lives in a balance of ambience and peacefulness whilst having fun. Every resident is excited since winter usually prolongs the days, making it seem as if its been cold for very long which some people enjoy and some people don't. Either way, summer dwindles the ice on the tree leaves, reducing it to puddles but it also brings out the playful sounds of birds and children and adults playing in the parks. If you are the new resident, he makes it a point to show you around, the parks, the offices, the restaurants, places to shop and relax. He also catches feelings for you, much more in a slow burn kind of way than fast falling and right from the start. Little touches or closeness makes him pause a beat and think about what he felt but sometimes he doesn't get that chance of thinking. It just occurs-when he's flustered. Say for example that you touch his hand or stand close to him, the proximity rises pink onto his cheeks, a prominent colour on him. You definitely go on a trip together, maybe a picnic on a day that is not particularly windy. This is different from meeting up outside of work or going on little adventures to the restaurants to try out a new cuisine or the pub or for shopping groceries. It's possible that he may not be shopping for himself but he'll accompany you where you go. All the times you go on a picnic are special to him, especially if you make some food for it, he'll appreciate it gladly but if you don't, he'll make it a point to make something. If you feed him, be assured that at first he may pull back but will like it very much, like the type that you love on second tries and continue loving it. It's then at the picnics that he'll gravitate towards what you like, he's curious in your tastes for example cotton candy or sweets or what games you like to play and your life before you came to this place. At pubs, you know what you like but he's not afraid to try out something new. It may be something that he'll want to share with you. Going to the pub becomes a thing when you want to speak to the other, tell each other about your day and eat and drink but most of all, to see the other person. Grocery shopping is well, the domestic side of him that makes you melt with his recommendations after staying in the place for so long that he knows what's good and what's not. It's only after you acknowledge your feelings for one another that he dwells on his sexual feelings for you, growing them one by one.

His voice is husky and it feels weird for me to describe it in this way but very naturally, it's a part of him. A part that you love. When he sees you from the back and surprises you, his voice makes it never sound like a surprise. Instead it soothes the tense posture you immediately assumed when you felt a figure come from behind you. His hugs are bear hugs, that he showers you with constantly, when he sees you, to hold you when you are upset and even when he is. When he nestles into your neck on a gloomy day, he can feel his stress seep away and bring something better- calm. It only goes to say then that when you make love, he loves to hold you in his arms, thrusting into your core. His moans make your feverish with delight, with a reflection of the icy weather melting into little puddles. It also become something that the two of you do, mutual masturbation, when you make out and as if on cue, you giggle and pull part. You lay on your back and he hovers above you, stroking his cock, small, breathy moans falling from his lips at the wonderous sight in front of him. At first if you are shy, he'll coax you softly with his voice, whispering, ''You can do this'', that little edge that it takes to soothe your mind and give it a go. In his eyes, you are a beauty and to see you fill yourself with your fingers makes him have to hold onto something, like grip the end of the bed or it's sheets tightly. After you release, he may take you to some other part of his cabin, maybe the kitchen to eat something but distracted by your naked body will he rub his cock in between your ass cheeks, putting you onto the counter and taking you from behind. In the way that makes your mouth fall open.

Zuho | Baek Juho:

Frustrated typing at his keyboards fills the room drawing a raise of your eyebrows half way up your forehead at the absolute demolition you hear. He leans back in his chair, sighing, ''You know, when was it?'', ''hm?'' he turns to you. The same chair he uses for producing, you are currently in his studio. ''Jaeyoon said that you couldn't game because you would... destroy the keyboard.'' and you have to laugh at this. He pretends to be unimpressed but a small smile peaks up in automatic response to seeing you smile. After seeing his expression, you laugh even more, his arms are crossed and he's staring at you as if to say, ironic but he won't say it out of a false hope at retaliation. You were pretty good, alright but to him, it was wonders! How could you do such stuff?! Moments later, he quits the game and opens a file, the studio grows peaceful as the keys of the keyboard are tapped in near silence, a huge contrast to the clickety-boom!-clackety of before. You grow bored. Feet shuffle from behind him and onto his lap, distracting him from his hold on his mouse and screen, your figure covers it. He smiles, innocently, very cutely in fact as you play with the material of his jumper, feeling his embrace bring him in-line with your chest which he nuzzles into. He sighs, asking, ''do you want to take a break?'', eliciting a yes! in thought and sound, tugging him to the sofa. The sofa is... comfy. You lay on it, extending your arms. He settles into them, hugging your waist and resting on your tummy. ''Ju?'', you ask, waiting a beat, ''How is it going?'', another way of asking his progress on the song, further leading to when you can listen to it. It's as if he knows your true questions because he says, ''Soon'', voice muffled by his hiding in your tummy. He pulls your top up, staring for a beat with a look that takes your breath away. His eyes... they marvel in deep thought that you think you know what he's about to ask you for your ''talk'' later. Your breath is taken away. You know what he wants to say, it's on the tip of your tongue but you can't voice it. Surely, you want to hear it from him even more. You would marvel even more then. ''Let's have that talk now?'', your breath hitches, pauses in your throat. He's got more reasons to come inside of your now and the thoughts makes your core ache. You squeeze your thighs together out of reflex. You sit up and so does he, his hands rests on your thigh. You can feel the heat from his legs that are so close to yours, suddenly becoming aware of his cologne that invades your senses. He reaches for your hand, eyes wide, looking around before he starts, ''Babe, I-'' but stops short. You hum, realising that it's importance made him pause. You give him an encouraging look, ''Go on, just say it, blurt it out, anything baby'', squeezing his hand in comfort. He sees your eyes, the love they have in them and he just says it, without a pause or hesitation. ''I want to have a baby, with you of course.'', he says and the last part provokes laughter. ''A baby?'', you ask, he nods, ''With me?'', now he sees that you are teasing and pulls back, ''But why? Why with me?''. Your laughter and playful teasing ease the tension he feels. At least you aren't averse to the idea. When you stop laughing, you reach to cusp his cheeks, ''Baby, I'd like that idea.''. Those words are enough for him to lose his mind. He thought that this decision would take time, weeks if not for just one day but his questions have been answered. Just like that, his shock wears off. It takes him less than a second to pull you up and start jumping around, out of pure joy. He sobers up pretty quickly though, must faster than you anticipate, he's pulling his stuff off the table, switching off the lights. ''Home?'' you ask, taking the lead. When you get into the car, you say, ''This is kinda funny, we couldn't possibly be running home for this.'', ''Why not?'', ''There's no expiry, at least not for now. We've got... time.'', ''Yes?'', ''Yes'' you confirm, nodding your head, heading home. ''Also, why are we going home?'' you ask,

''What do you mean?'' he replies, not believing why you have no idea that you're leaving his studio early. ''It feels weird to leave early.'', you want to stop over somewhere. He sees your anxiousness, ''Lets stop over the station and buy something to eat.'', pointing at the turn. When you get out of the car, you can finally breathe, leaving the anxiety accompanied by your decision earlier. He takes your hand, holding your cheek and pulling you closer. He needed to do this. To give you a kiss which he first places very delicately on your cheek and then on the corner of your lips, finally on your lips. The moment is everlasting. He cups both your cheeks, gently, kissing you lovingly as if to say a multitude of unspoken things.

*sigh*, dear anon, I did it again: I strayed off-topic. I should be ashamed but the above writing is gold so I will include the little titbits after this: Ju's voice colours everything he feels, even if it's just a little bit, his hands may twitch or he'll sound a low sound that will alert you of what he's feeling. His best sound is when he gasps, it's not too much neither too little. He throws his head back and his back arches, it takes a small breath for him to resume. The scene I imagine as I write this is him receiving a blowjob. Otherwise, he would love to try out having sex in new places with you. Against the counter? Having you lean against it as his cock fills you up? Slowly, lovingly? He's all for it, whatever or wherever you imagine yourself to be, with him.

Yoo Taeyang:

We'll start from the end: when he releases, his soft pants are capturing, distracting you even a little from your agenda of releasing your juices around his cock. His favourite position to have you ride his cock with your hands clutching his waist, circling your hips on his, he can't control the haziness that cloud his expression. His hands wander a lot though, to your nipples, pinching them but ever so often, he feels like tasting you. Having you in his mouth, to swirl his tongue around and relish in the beauty of how you taste. He brings you down, close to his chest so that he can take your bud in his mouth, ''I neglected this didn't I?'' and at your whines, he nods, chuckling, ''I'm sorry about that...'', trailing off to add extra vibration of pleasure that travel straight south. He's charismatic, without even trying.

Imagine another set of scenarios: Taeyang punishing. It's at a party, in a house containing lots of rooms save for the fact that the party is only on the first floor, you know that it's progress to the upper floors throughout the night. He takes you somewhere remote, messily clashing his lips against yours, tugging at your clothes. You've moved past the need for words. On your knees, you take his cock, bobbing your head and for the god lack of co-ordination, you stumble at first but he's quick to reassure you that you can do whatever for the first couple of times because he'll teach you well. His yelp is disappointingly loud when you playfully run your teeth along his cock and you peer up, to see his heated eyes, out of annoyance. ''On purpose?'' is the question that his expression seeks to answer but to which there is no answer. His moans are concealed when his hands land harshly on your ass, his cock red and hard no doubt. But instead, you pant and so does he, his breathing heavy and he struggles to stop just to fill you up. There's a hint of body worship that peeks out there, running his hands up and down your body, even into the dip in between your legs, coating his fingers in your juices. He loses control for a bit there, turning you around and kissing you with such high energy. His feelings for you- all over the place. In surprise, to contrast his previous energy, he gets down on his knees. He wants to. One leg over his shoulder, he dives in to taste your juices, placing kitten licks everywhere before pumping you with his digits, sucking greedily and only after he's wrecked you with one release or more as seen by your quivering thighs and shaking body but heated for more does he come back on top. If you don't think that you could release one more time, he's completely okay with it, equally loving your mouth on his cock that pushes him over the edge, once again with sheer force.

How about a best friends to lovers au now?: The suspect of loving you in this long-winded game is Taeyang, long-winded as in the past couple of months you've gotten to know one another. He's straightforward, to tell you that he likes you when the chance is there, an electric energy present, just before the two of you are about to kiss. He tells you how he feels about you. From there, your words satiate his nervous composure with relaxation. He kisses you, somewhat compose, majorly giddy from your confessions. He kisses you till your back hits the covers, passionately. Kissing your breasts (or chest), he loves to uncover you, to take his time, rocking his hips against yours in a pace that is just in between making love and fucking, he'll take your hot skin into his mouth, nipping and sucking and then hold your hands above your head, when a release rips through you. His groans beautifully grace your ears when he releases, kissing you once again. He would settle in beside you, giggling about what just occurred with a smile so shiningly bright or go to sleep and then wake up later to explore your attractions to one another, once again.

Hwiyoung | Kim Youngkyun:

Kyun has attitude

I'm sure that it may be not what you asked for but what is this blog without my ramblings??: When you first have sex together, he reaches for you. To touch you, to feel you and to remember every intimate moment he has with you. He'll feel your body, every part of you, your cheeks, chest, waist, tummy, inner thighs, backside and even places where stretch marks and/ or tattoos lie because those are personal to you. He'll show you and perhaps even tell you that your body is beautiful, multiple times. A beautiful session of making love follows. Where every moment is spent in each others arms as he fills you again and again, revelling in the sounds you make, Your cries, moans, whimpers incite him to hold you and continue his love-making.

His sounds vary but the majority are audible: his grunts when he enters you, his moans when he holds the headboard as he fucks into you or his cries that he let's out into the crook of your neck as you ride him. When he receives a blowjob, he doesn't hide his moans but it's not about hiding, he wants you to know. All in all, his sounds are low in tone, very pretty and arousing.

A little story for you, dear anon: It's summer! Unlike the others, this one is comparatively cooler. The breeze blows past your cheeks. You return home to find Youngkyun with an apron tied around his waist, delicately chopping the food and placing them into the utensil. The apron is an adorable sight that crinkles your eyes. For your boyfriend that regularly throws gang signs, it adds to the overall clarity of his cute demeanour. "Babe" you start your greetings but upon seeing you, he immediately throws off his apron and comes towards you, eliciting peels of laughter from you. He picks you up and places kisses all over your cheeks, ''I missed you'', he says, pouting. At your smile, he takes you to the bedroom, placing you on the bed. You wait, smiling, he's changing, ''Right now?'', ''Right now'', he nods, energy on full blast. He straddles you, placing smooth kisses everywhere, ''You are so pretty, you know that?'' he whispers, taking off your top and bottom. "Babe, really, how was your day?" you ask, the both of you laugh at the question as you switch positions, straddling him instead. Filling yourself up with his cock, you hear his little grunt upon entering and a sigh of relief comes from the both of you when he's completely in. The sounds he makes is beautiful in every tone. His hands on your backside guide your hips along his cock and ever so often, he let's out these pretty high-pitched moans, throwing his head back and swallowing all the arousal flooding through his body. You chuckle, moaning in his mouth as you give him a soft kiss. After you release, droplets of sweat can be seen on both of you and pink clouds his face, heated. Panic sets in his features. "What's going on-?" you ask, he doesn't move but points to the door, "the food". "We have to go save it", you say, little, displaced confessionals occurring now. You go to the kitchen and while he assesses for damage, you lean on your elbow, peeking at him in his naked form. It would very hard to argue with him if he was naked, you think. He nods, picking you and placing you on the counter, cuddling you. The moment could last forever. In between your legs, he doesn't bother with anything but laying peacefully in the crook of your neck, "Baby, I love you, I also feel like this was overdue", you chuckle, "of course not peach, I love you too" you say. A beat later, he kisses your neck, not hesitating to take a little bite that draws a laugh from you, ''Kyun!'', ''huh, babe?'' is his honest reply as he continues, till his mouth has reached your core.

Chani:

He grasps the back of your head, gently easing you along his cock. Eagerly, he watches your mouth swallow his cock, his own growing dry at the sight. A slight twitching to be expected, you chuckle at the expression on his face, ''Chani'', you take yourself off his cock, snapping his attention to you. Truthfully, he was so aroused by the sight, he lost himself in it. You chuckle, brushing away strands of hair from his face. ''What is it?'', you ask to which he responds by taking you hands in his and squeezing ever so subtly to let you know that nothing is wrong, ''I was just staring, I'm sorry-'' he goes to apologise but you shake your head, already knowing that he was absorbing the visuals. He is surprised that his mouth works, could he even speak after watching something so heavenly? He's not sure that words could be formed. He leans on one hand, sitting on the bed with you in between his legs, taking him into your mouth once more, eliciting a groan from him, soft to begin with, accompanied by the scrunch of his nose at the feeling of warmth. He looses him hand on the back of your head when he feels like he's about to fall on his back. Your hands slowly trail up his inner thighs, squeezing the flesh along the way, pumping his shaft to kitten lick his tip, a trail of saliva coating your mouth and connecting to his tip. His eyes, although occasionally close out of pure arousal, he makes sure that they are open. By the time he's about to release, a layer of sweat lines his pink-dusted, heated temples. When he's close, his moans grow louder and he pants, making unconfigurable noises. The words that he wants to tell you, how he's feeling, how good you are for him and to him get strangled in his throat, instead coming out as muffled noises and quivering thighs. If you let him release into your mouth, he collapses on his back after as you straddle him. After a few moments, he would be in the mood to eat you out and have sex with you after. If you take him out of your mouth and pump him, he would prefer to release all over your backside, your butt that he'll repeatedly squeeze and even take a bite out off when he eats you out before he fills you up. He's ready to make love with you, surprising you and himself with his energy, pent-up, ''I'm surprised'', ''About what? This?'', ''Yes, very much.'', ''Babe, look at me.'', ''Huh?'', ''After sleeping for half your life, you have accumulated these reserves of energy...'', ''Babe please'' he says, stifling his laughter at your teasing.

For his sounds, he could also be non audible. For whatever it is that the two of you are doing, he could be exploring what he is feeling, especially the first couple of times that he has sex or receives a blowjob or mutually masturbates, a new situation.

How about a detective Chani au?: He's a rough character, particularly because of his past experiences in his job, naming more death than life, he once found it hard to stay afloat all the floating bodies in his nightmares. He's been there and he's not willing to go back, he's struggling and he knows. In this au, you are a random stranger, cross-pairing from a different department to hunt down a very articular group of organised crime. Around you, his control on his behaviour slips, like his physical affection and how much he speaks, he guards himself on a daily basis, stubborn to keep it that way. He fights with you, demeaning you and when he hears your words, they ring in his ears and also bring about a familiar, painful feeling in his chest. Even when he kisses you. He's rough, pushing you on your hands and knees, taking you from behind. Then, unconsciously, he brings you to his chest when he realises that you must be close and praises you, ''You're doing so well''. He also realises that he wants you by his side. You don't pretend to know who he is, despite his true horror stories of dead backlogging teams and ruined missions, unlike the people he works with. Guilt long suppressed clouds his chest, it's a weird feeling, even when the two of you are done and you take him into your arms. He's crying. You give him some space. He looks up when you come back into the room with water and some tissues, ''Here, tell me why you've been such a dick.''.

[reginrokkr]

Nobody ever said that finding the truth would be easy task. Dáinsleif of all people knows, when he prayed that Irminsul in all its mercy would allow him an opportunity to see for himself if there was something he could do to save Khaenri'ah, only to find none after hundreds of samsaras he willingly walked into. As finding the truth of Teyvat wasn't any easier. What made it more bearable was how weathered he has grown after 100 years of penance spent in the same Khaenri'ah over and over again.

Imaginary Tree, in all its mercy, resonated with heavy feelings in wonder of an individual's detrimental state and showed him a glimpse of the past he endured. This, too, wasn't easy either. To know that no matter what he will do, his deeds won't signify a change in the future even if his own soul is at risk of collapse if he isn't careful is one thing. But to be witness of a good man's death —one of many more he had witnessed, but growing close always hits harder... so much harder— and be unable to do nothing... it's too much to bear.

Dáinsleif knew since the beginning that it would be this way. Yìng Xīng knew too.

Even so, the lunarescent seraph runs towards Yìng Xīng's still body in a pool of blood and kneels by his side. Shaking hands reach out for him in a merciful embrace. ❝Yìng Xīng...❞ Equally trembling fingers push away from his face blood-tainted bangs, hand lingers its touch in a caress to his face. Why. Dáinsleif questions himself once more, even if he already knows the answer.

Starlight tears cascade from icy sapphires, roseate lips struggle to maintain themselves in a thin line as they quiver. His forehead presses against Yìng Xīng gently as he cries in silence, holding onto him until this is over. Soon will come the time to awaken from this dream— a dream that he's unsure whether he wanted to have, a dream that contains a truth he was unprepared to learn just yet. He hasn't met Yìng Xīng for long and even so, Imaginary Tree must've deemed his sentiments strong enough to let him peer into his memories to learn more about him, about the reason why he ended up like this.

❝I'm sorry...❞ Would I if I could save you. But I cannot.

Yìng Xīng is not surprised that Jing Yuan gathered an interest of such capacity in the blond's special healing abilities —Dáinsleif, he said it's his name, so foreign to anything he has ever heard in his life—, it is indeed something so rare and precious that it's hard to depart from it when the main scope of their contact is to heal the General's abdominal wound. But truth to be said, he'd be lying if he denied the curiosity his friend evokes in his request of performing his healing on someone else.

Dáinsleif's request is just as reasonable and well-timed, having out-performed beyond what initially was agreed upon not once, but twice as soon as Jing Yuan would tell him directly what that is— something that the blond seems to already know.

Jing Yuan heaves a sigh and paths gently over the bandages Dáinsleif just used to dress his wound and takes a bite of a dumpling he blindly picked up from a box. "You are sharp. I like that." He pauses to devour the last of the first dumpling and to swallow. "Of course, it would be a sign of disrespect if I didn't extend the same courtesy you did for me. I will see that your requests will receive proper care within a day."

The General stands up and rises a hand to rest over his breast out of formality for a proper introduction. "I am General Jing Yuan. But as my honourable guest, you needn't address to me so formally. Just my name is fine." He looks at the other white-haired and so he rises too as he picks up the bag with the food he brought earlier. "Call me Yìng Xīng." The other smiles and nods, then his golden gaze falls upon Dáinsleif. "Well then, gentlemen. Let's get going then, shall we? I promise I won't steal more from your precious time, Master Dáinsleif. It will be quick."

As much as Yìng Xīng searches Jing Yuan's eyes to tell him what is happening on their way to the designated place, he fails to do so. Instead, all he gets is a teasing smile that annoys him more than it is helpful to get any hint of what he plans. Unbeknownst of him, soon he would find out as soon as they arrive to the General's palace.

"I presume that you already know what this is about, Master Dáinsleif." Jing Yuan turns to look at Yìng Xīng, a hand extended towards him. "My request is that you check Yìng Xīng up and tell me if he has any signs of Mara." His own aureus eyes widen in realisation of what he meant since the beginning. That moron, did he take advantage of the moment he was away to discuss this with the healer? "There is no need." He's quick to spat, regardless. "I am feeling well, Jing Yuan. I was hardly touched by any of our enemies in our last fight."

"I know, I know. But it is for the best to seize this opportunity as we have such a talented healer with us, don't you think so?" Though his lips quirk up in his usual cheshire-like smile, he can see in his eyes a sadness he's seen before in him. He had told him in the past about a master that he wasn't necessarily close to that was mara-stricken and had to be put down. Yìng Xīng sighs, conflicted. Part of him is positive that he isn't affected, but the other part of him makes him anxious. "...I suppose you're right."