#quartermaster bert x reader

[ero-heart]

Bert is my man I need him

Cw: mentions of weapons and guns

HEART SHOP

(Quartermaster Bert x Reader)

(Romantic)

He’d spend all his money to see your smile, he’d bet everything just to hold you. You made him humble, less selfish.

It’s been a while since Bert has noticed his feelings for you. Every time you came to buy or sell a weapon, his heart would beat a little faster. He thought it might go away at some time or another, but it didn’t, it only grew bigger.

He couldn’t overlook it anymore, he was in love and there was nothing he could do.

…

Other than try his shot of course.

Bert wasn’t exactly the slyest guy out there, fake it till you make it maybe? He decided to start off by dropping little hints when you came over to buy from him. You looked very roughed up today, dirty and disheveled. Must have been a failed mission. Yet he couldn’t hear his thoughts by how loud his heart was beating. He didn’t hid the worry in his voice.

“Ay sweet thing, what happened?”

You sighed and explained that you and your mission partner fucked up and now you have a broken weapon and are in bad terms with the boss. Bert hissed, doc was never someone he thought of messing with, he mostly endured any bullshit that he got because of the money.

“Things have been tough eh? Maybe a discount on a new one might help your mood a bit.”

You tried to refuse but he insisted, you picked a SS2, the same model as your last gun. As promised, Bert gave a 10% discount.

“Hope you get more lucky on the next mission.”

“Yeah haha.. thanks for letting me vent tho, have a nice one dude!”

As you left, he started feeling giddy, things seemed to go on smoothly. You haven’t addressed the petname though, but it was better for him to still test the waters, he wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. What you did notice though was the discount that he gave you, that was incredibly out of character and you only did realized that after you were ready to finish the day. Maybe he was feeling nice? Actually when he feels nice he downs the prices to the original price over his overpriced versions like Black Friday. Maybe he took pity on you? It’s the only option.

On the next day you lost a bet and had to buy a bleeder knife for one of your friends. Bert was surprised by seeing you so soon but happy nonetheless! He couldn’t help but smile when you got close.

“So soon hon? You need another replacement?”

“Haha nah, I actually lost a bet now I have to get something for my friend.”

“Hm still with no luck? Bet I will give you another discount for this one.”

Your eyes widened, getting caught off guard. Bert smirked, you look so cute like that.

“Who.. who are you??” You asked jokingly.

Bert but his lip, he was about to give a risky response.

“What? Can’t I give my favorite customer some privilege on their hard days? Hm? You need it. 10%.”

You were speechless, wide eyed and speechless. One discount is weird coming from someone like Bert but two?? The way he- You gulped.

“You don’t have to!” You shook your hands all flustered. Something about his tone made you immediately shy.

“30%. What will it be hon?”

“A bleeder knife!”

Bert laughed at your jumpiness and brought the knife to the table.

“You are so sweet.”

His smile almost killed you. You couldn’t stop blushing when you payed him and said your goodbyes. He was being overly nice to you, you couldn’t understand why but you really appreciate it, you should make something to make up to him! That charming quartermaster deserved a gift.

Bert was intrigued by this new development and was definitely excited. The way you lit up by his proposal did not go unnoticed, it was different from last time. Was it his voice? He never tried smooth talking before, apparently it suits him. Your ever present dopey smile when you’ve gone away was a sign that he definitely should use it more.

It’s been some days since you visited Bert, it’s normally like that since you only talked to him when you needed to buy something. You two normally would greet each other when you meet outside your job, on the cafeteria, sometimes the dorms. He’s been going out of his way to initiate small talk tho. Asking you if you have been luckier, if the gun you’ve got is working well, if your wounds have been healing, etc. It made your heart warm up to know that he worries about you. Now you were keen on getting him a present, you had no idea what to get tho. Weaponry is out of question since he has access to so many. Hm maybe a lighter? You didn’t knew if he smoked his voice is so smooth tho it’s unlikely, but a cool lighter with a cool design is overall something nice to have! It’s decided, you would find a badass looking lighter for your badass looking quartermaster. And you just knew where.

The first thing you did next morning was to change, get your present and leave the dormitory to get to him. Nervous at what he would think of the gift. There was no sign of Bert when you arrived there, it must be too early. You waited for him tho, with nothing to do, fumbling with the paper wrapper in your hands. Soon, Bert opened the doors to get to his station, he stretches high before taking the keys off of his pocket, turning around, he was surprised to see you.

“Sweet thing, so early in the morning? Excited to see me?”

He passes you with a smile as he opened his station, getting on the other side to attend you.

“Well, yea haha.. I’ve been meaning to give you this..”

You slide the little box towards him, this took Bert aback. He shakes his head and slides it back to you, resting his head on his hand.

“Sweetness, you don’t have to..”

You avert your gaze and can’t help but stutter.

“Please take it! I appreciate you- I appreciate what you ha- tsk- it’s a gift of gratitude, I- I wanted to thank you for being so nice to me..”

He chuckles, you were absolutely adorable and he couldn’t stop smiling like a fool.

“Sweet thing, the only thing I want from you..”

He stands up and reaches your hand, eyelids drooping as he looks at you with pure adoration.

“…is a date.”

Your face turns red, surprised by his request. The idea that the quartermaster was somehow in love with you never crossed your mind. It all made sense tho, all of these nice things he was doing for you was because he was swoon. You smiled and looked away again, all shy. You couldn’t imagine the absurdity of a mercenary like you acting so soft over your quartermaster.

“What do you say darling? Would you accept it?”

You looked back at him, biting your lip, there was no use in hiding your flushed face.

“I would..if you open my gift..”

He smirks, you gave Bert a little chuckle as he unwrapped the present. He gets genuinely taken upon the sight of a steel lighter, with a engraving of the ace of diamonds.

“Woah…it’s.. it’s amazing.. here did you find this?”

“Well hah.. I have my ways..”

You were not going to tell him you killed a man to get the lighter and broken a truce between your organization and the mafia by doing so.

“I’m.. I’m genuinely impressed this is so.. so cool”

He had no words, his smile only getting more wider and more dumber. You smile back at him, happy that he liked his gift.

“Tonight at six?”

He looks back at you and nods excitedly.

“Tonight at six.”

I will be a little busy with the current requests that I have! Hope you enjoyed this Bert fic! Stay safe 💞

[writersmilex]

Quartermaster Bert: Head-canons

- One day, while you were walking through the street. You so happen to look at a wall and find a recruiting flyer. It was very vague, the flyer was asking for people who are not afraid to kill to come to a specific address.

- It sounds like a job for you, as you were an ex-con. Got caught for selling stolen goods... Maybe it will go right this time. You take the flyer and got to the address right away.

- It was a reformed building in an ally. it looks way better on the inside. You greet the breaded man in the lobby and explain that you responded to the recruiting flyer. The older man smiles at you and tells you to take a seat somewhere in the lobby. Along with two other people.

- A little while later, the Boss came down and hired everyone who came for the recruiting. Great! You've got a job again!

- You went on a mission with Boss a few times. Which helps you get more skills.

- One time while you were exploring your new home. You come across the quartermaster.

- "Ay ay, how are ye." he smirks at you and waves friendly. He looks a little shifty, but friendly enough once you get to know him better maybe.

- You introduce yourself to him and his grin grows. "I've got the goods, anythin' ye like. I've got ya. And for an affordable price." He winks. Much later you understand that he squirmed himself in the base and sells armour and weapons. Which is more useful than it sounds.

- After he told you about his business he told you his name; Bert, or Q-Bert as many call him. You just call him Bert.

- he tried to sell you something, but you told him "later."  and left because the Boss called you for a mission.

Acquaintance___

- Bert being the man with the goods, you show up as his little shop quite often. And while you're browsing through his stock. You make small talk and get to know him better.

- You got to know him a lot better. He had a very interesting answer when you asked why he began selling all this stuff. One simple answer that stuck with you. "I grew up with nothin'..." He said in a rather solemn tone. He gained his composure quickly and his usual smirk returns.

- You bought some throwing daggers and left to get to work again.

- You didn't see him for a while, purposefully avoiding his shop. You just had to save some money to buy more efficient weapons, and every time you visited him, you left with more than what you were originally looking for.

- You've saved a lot of money to get a nicer rifle. Bert is happy to see you and even happier that you're willing to spend money. You bought a big, powerful gun. And Bert seems to agree with your choice.

- Bert is a bit of a chatter-box. He can go on and on and on about the product you mildly show any interest in. If a purchase is made, he can also talk about random subjects that come to mind.

- he often asks you about the latest news, since he doesn't leave the HQ much. See if anything is interesting going on outside of the base.

-  He's easy to entertain, as long as it's something money-related. He loves to hear about your saving plans! Tell him everything, please!

- surprisingly, Bert doesn't drink (not anymore). He claimed that eventually, the alcohol cost too much money to keep up such a habit.

- At this point, you start to suspect that Bert has some unchecked issues deep inside. But how are you doing t address this? Perhaps become better friends before talking about such personal subjects first.

Platonic____

- Bert gets distracted quite easily by any shiny object. He seems grateful for every time you either snap your fingers or any other way to get his attention back.

- Usually from a distance, you can see Bert already while approaching him. His mood is sour, he's leaning over the counter resting on his arms. Once he saw you come closer, he sits up and his expression brightens instantly. He's happy to see you.

- You can sneak up on him from around the corner. startling him is funny. But don't do it too often. That will keep him on his toes.

- Finally, you're able to put your thieving skills to use. Helping the chef and his black marked business, you steal nice things, modified weapons. Bert always seems eager to buy those weapons from you.

- You often offer to get him something to drink or eat. He appreciates that whenever you share a snack with him.

- Bert has a trademark smirk. As stingy as he is, he often smirks wide when he gets his greedy hands on more money.

- He is materialistic and gives you small quality gifts occasionally. He's really smug about it too. "This one's on the house." He says.

- Bert is a good listener, during your usual chatting. He gives you a moment to talk to. If you ask questions about him, he'll answer them vaguely. As if he's hiding something.

- one night, while having another conversation together, things got personal. You told Bert about your time in prison. And how you used to steal to survive pre-prison time. Bert told you about how he grew up in extreme poverty, his family didn't even have enough money for food every day, they had to share one bed. And couldn't afford proper clothing, let alone schooling for him. As he got older, Bert did everything he can to not run low on money, he doesn't want to re-live his childhood again. which in turn made him stingy.

- Those memories really seem to affect him. He lowers his head so his cap hides his face, but you can get a peek of a stray tear running down his cheek. You got up from your seat and walked over to him to embrace him firmly. Bert sniffles and returns the hug. "Never again..." he mumbles into the fabric of your jacket.

Romantic__Pining____

- While Bert was having a slow day in his shop. He started to think... He knew that you are on a mission right now, and he sort of misses you. That's when he realized he's not just after your money anymore, he wants your company too.

- Every time you get something new, the weapons or armour just so happens to be on sale. Don't tell anyone though... It's on sale just for you.

- He compliments you when you're trying out new armour to buy. And he insists you get it since it looks so good on you.

- Bert is rather flirty and does his very best to woo you with lame pickup lines and out of nowhere compliments. However, when you flirt with him, he loses all suave he had before and becomes a mumbling, blushing mess. shielding your gaze with the rim of his cap.

- There are moments where you just walk by his shop, and if you do. He will lean on the counter, rest his chin in his hand and sigh dreamily.

- After that meaningful conversation the two of you had two weeks ago. Bert started to open up a bit more, his salesman facade faded around you.

- Of course, you noticed how warm your chest feels whenever you're close to him. You love to listen to him talk because he has a nice voice. Not to mention that he's good company. You want to stay with him, and you hope he wants to stay with you also.

- You visit his shop almost every day just to talk with him and sometimes buy stuff. Bert always greets with his trademark smirk and a witty pickup line.

- he always gets worried about you when you go on a mission. Of course, Bert knows you're a tough cookie but still, he wishes no harm on you and that you return home in one piece.

- He sets side items that he thinks that you might like, maybe he can give them as gifts later just to make you happy.

Romantic__Relationship____

- Another day you show up at the Quartermaster's shop, Bert notices one thing right away. You look exhausted, what's even more noticeable is that one of your arms is in a sling.

- "what're ya doin' 'ere? Ye should be restin'" He says, his voice laced with extreme worry. He leaves his post to stand next to you, reading to grab you if you lose balance. You brush him off, he's taking none of that! He will help you to your room himself.

- Wrapping an arm around you, he guides you to your room. His worry not yet ceasing, he wants you to rest, you're not fit for anything right now.

- Once in your room, Bert helps you on your bed and get comfortable to rest. He was about to leave when he feels something tug him back. You're tugging at his sleeve, "stay?" You mumble in a sleepy tone. He flushes red, this is his chance to make a move!

- Carefully he lies down next to you, awkwardly laying there stiffly. His hands folded over his stomach. It was you who made the next move. Scooting a little closer, you rest your head on his shoulder. Then made Bert build the courage to slowly wrap his arms around you for a cuddle.

- This moment is everything he ever wanted, to be close with someone who doesn't leave. He relaxes, his face resting in your hair. The two of you fall asleep like that.

- The next morning, It takes Bert a moment to remember where he is. He's with you, and you are safe within his protective embrace. It feels right, this is how it's supposed to be. You wake up a little later, feeling a lot better already. You blush once you realize you're in Bert's arms. You waste no time and confess your love to him at that very moment. He of course returns your love.

- You and Bert are very love-dovey with each other, always greeting each other with kisses. everyone knows you're lovers.

- cuddling at his post is a must! Just sitting there and keeping each other warm is the best thing ever to him. It keeps him grounded. You might have to take over his shop if he falls asleep...

- He became a little clingy, has a hard time letting you go when you have to go on a mission. Just promise to come back to him. He will be waiting for you, and get all excited like a puppy dog once you return.

________________________________________

Bert my beloved <3

Thanks for reading. - Smilex

[rotshop]

misc dave + qbert + mag s/o poly hcs because im normal in the head <3

[ tw mention of alcohol ]

-q-berts kinda like . dad who did NOT want the dog and then gets extremely attached. he does his best to not be too openly rude at first but . he's still obviously apprehensive, if the jumps and few steps back when you crouch down a little too fast around him say anything. you start bringing back little trinkets n shit you find on your missions, including !!! weapons :] . he likes them. a lot. it becomes something of a bonding activity of you bringing back the ones you can (without accidentally breaking them) and give em to him while he tells you everything he knows about them. each visit becomes a little less clinical and professional than the last, him grinning and making gestures as he animatedly tells you about some personal story he has about some pistol or shotgun you lend him. if you still have any of the weapons you were given when you were MAGnified he loves to take a look at them. granted you . you do have to help him a little. those bitches are HEAVY.

-dave's the first one to really get warmed up to you. he's. DEFINITELY scared of you at first. (blurts something out the first time he sees JUST how much you tower over him and immediately regrets it. 'WOW!! you're a big bitch huh' and you see the blood instantly leave his face. he can't talk to you for like 4 days straight. everytime he tries he stumbles over himself and just keeps glancing to see if you're about to kill him dead for it.) but !! he's trying . he's a little more shiny and sunny than the others, meaning he's usually the one to kinda introduce you to some of the brighter things. he's probably also one of the first guys you meet SO . has to kinda introduce you to the others and vice versa. puts a hand on your arm and grins (a little anxiously for their reactions) while saying ur name n shit. he gives you a little bit of space at first because chances are you're still struggling to adjust n he doesn't wanna stress you more but . he still checks up on you. usually at night he'll just kinda knock on ur door and peek his head in and ask how you're doing. you end up having a lot of impromptu sleepovers, he comes showing up with alcohol (that you do your best to kinda grab and keep hidden out of his reach) and he sits next to you and kinda . 'gossips' w/ you. sometimes it gets a little serious when he's telling you about some of his past (he's teared up while talking about family and how he met bert), but most of the time it's just you two exchanging thoughts and stories. he ends up falling asleep on you a lot.

-chances are dave's friendliness to you is a big part of why bert warmed up to you and trusts you a bunch. when he finds ur guys' common interest its just increased. he ends up kinda joining on your guys' little sleepovers eventually. (dave messes w/ him and introduces him dramatically like you two've never met before, he's able to brush the embarrassment off at the two of yours' laughter. he doesn't know why yours sticks with him, like. yeah of course dave's would get him since theyre???? dating???? but . you're just kinda. his coworker. friend. person. hm. weird !)

-they all fall aslee p on you. OR sometimes you kinda fall asleep on them. (not fully but . you'll have your head on bert's lap or dave's chest. they both have a habit of kinda like. 'petting' you??? if you purr they both kinda shoot each other a surprised look before grinning at it)

-yeah there's weird tension. you all have like a noticeable connection whenever you two are around eachother. bert'll just be cleaning up after breakfast while dave's at the table and you're doing your best to help and there's just like. a very very thick sense of 'oh ok this is not just friends this is too domestic.'

-dave's the first to pick up on his feelings shifting but he kinda keeps it to himself at first. he's actually pretty good at keeping to himself when needed / desired, rather than blurting out any thought on his mind immediately. he takes some time to himself to really think about it and to decipher his feelings a bit better, wanting to make 100% sure that he's right before he does anything that might not be needed. noticeably a little more in his own head when you're around n such but he just smiles a little and waves his hand dismissively when asked abt it.

-bert takes a little longer but he gets there. he's got some trust issues and it takes him time to sort through those, then he feels bad for having been so suspicious of you, then he just kinda. makes effort to get to know you. somewhere in there he just starts getting more attached. those little enthusiastic stories he would hesitate to share with anyone, the trust he's got to sleep around you when you could easily crush him if you wanted, the way he starts to wonder about you even when you're not around, it all makes him slowly start to think of you as more than just someone he works with and hangs out with.

-they have like a good long talk about it at some point. it's a little nerve wracking for obvious reasons but it's nice to know that they're both in a similar stance on it an such ,, it's a little weird when they talk to you about it because they kinda. call you over. and they're both just. sitting next to each other across from you. which isn't usually a good sign. they notice your distress and try to quickly reassure you when they see.

-anyway congrats on speedrunning two partners they love you dearly.

-there's not a lot of good date places in nevada in its current state but dave likes to bring you to to any neat places he finds and show em to you so y'all can walk around and just explore little. sme sort of appreciation for the little things out there. bert just likes staying in and watching movies w/ the two of you if possible. he's a fan of horror and slashers (much to daves displeasure, says he's not afraid and then death grips you or him he moment there's any kind of scare), rambles a lot about what he knows abt the production or the way they were made, that sorta deal.

(tiny side thought ; -you recognize some of them sometimes but you're always like 'huh i remembered this being gorier / more intense.' and they just brush it off as like being hardened by nevada but. no . sometimes in higher end facilities they DO have movies but . they tend to be A. some of the more graphic ones, since they're cheaper and sometimes managers think they'll lead to agents being a little more effective or something similar and / or B. they're remakes with questionable amounts of 'acting.' the production is noticeably worse. tricky is in them. bert and dave both hate them. a lot.)

[idyat]

Madness combat requests idfk

Requests: Open

Since I'm currently STARVING for madcom x reader content (*cough*Deimos*cough*) I have decided to take matters into my own hands

Masterlist

I'll do drawings, headcanons, oneshots, alphabets and multiple parts stories but don't expect these to be good OR quickly done since this is my first time and I am the queen of procrastination

What I will do

•Fluff

•Platonic

•Crack/shitpost

•Heavy angst

•Gore, blood

•Suggestive

•Gendered readers IF their gender is relevant to the story

What I won't do

•P*dophilia, inc*st, toxic/abusive relationships, r*pe, etc

•Transphobia, homophobia, racism, sexism, etc

•Explicit smut

What I'll TRY to do

•AU's

•Polyamory

•Mental or physical conditions

Characters I won't write for (everyone else is probably valid)

•ROMP.FLA

•OC's

Arena Mode Characters I'll write/draw for:

Since I just started watching arena mode gameplay, the list of characters I will write or draw for it will grow over time as I discover them (once the list's dissapeared, it means every arena character is available)

Chopper Dave (please request for him)

Quartermaster Bert

Skinner M.D

Bossman

Chef Pava

Player (however they would be quite hard to write for so if you can give as many precisions as possible in the request that would be lovely)

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