#quad!usuk

[alifeasvivid]

I picture, for some reason, alice, Arthur, and Amelia to be The Most Horny people imaginable and Alfred is just sitting here, like,

"What if I tried to fit 20 marshmallows in my mouth?"

Alice/Arthur/Amelia: I want to do such illegal things to you

Alfred: wait, what if I tried 30 marshmallows??

Alice/Arthur/Amelia: i... I still want to f/ck him

They have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's impossible not to want to.

[ixiethepixiewrites]

USUK V-Day Event #2

Summary: Alfred is a computer science student with no hope for his love life. Arthur is a lonely Literary Arts student. What makes everything better? Certainly not sending encoded messages to your crush.

Warnings: Language, suggestive theme but nothing explicit (yet).

A/N: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY @narcoleptic-art

Alfred sat in the grass on the university's quad, typing away on his laptop. It would probably be more efficient for him to do his work in his dorm, but dammit it he didn't love sitting in the sun. It was healthier to work out here anyway, no matter how distracted he got. Oh boy, and here came one of his biggest distractions now. A blonde with vibrant green eyes was making his way across the courtyard, chatting with someone, probably a classmate.

Arthur Kirkland was a sight to behold. He may look like a stuffy old man on campus, but take him out to the club and he transformed into a sexy demon of a man, piercings and all. And fuck if he didn't turn Alfred on either way. Unfortunately, Al was stuck in a place he liked to call the ‘acquaintance alcove’. Arthur would occasionally call him for help in math or if he had laptop trouble, and Alfred would call him for help understanding literature assignments. It was a nice setup, but it wasn't enough.

There was this tension between them, Alfred could feel it. Sometimes he caught Arthur staring, and he knew for certain he'd been caught doing the exact same thing. Neither one of them seemed to know the next step. As Arthur waved to him, Al couldn't help but smile, returning the gesture and just watching him leave. Shit he had a good looking ass.

Sighing, Alfred got back to work. They were re-learning binary and base64 right now, just simple things to revise before midterms, their professor blessedly keeping homework light. Valentines day was coming up too, if only he could get a date for it. Ideally that date would be Arthur, but there was no way he could ever confess. If only he could say what was on his mind and Arthur wouldn't realize it and reject him. A thought then came to him as he stared at rows and rows of gibberish letters and numbers. Maybe he could do just that!

Getting out his phone, Al hummed to himself as he began typing a coded message. After about five minutes, he nervously hit send and awaited a response. Arthur would probably be confused, so he needed an excuse. A butt dial maybe? Say his phone was on in his pocket and must have typed randomly? That could work.

The messages read as follows:

Alfred: SSB0aGluayB5b3UncmUgY3V0ZQ==

Arthur: Jones? What is this supposed to mean? It's not more of that god awful text talk, right?

Alfred: oh shoot haha sorry man that was a mistake my phone was on in my pocket I guess

Arthur: I'm not even going to attempt to correct that mess of a sentence. Did you finish your assignment?

That was how it began. Once or twice a day, Alfred would send an encoded message and just claim it was an accident. Arthur eventually said that maybe Alfred should replace his phone if it was so sensitive, but he insisted it was fine. It was a good thing Arthur didn't take the same classes. As his messages progressed, they got less and less innocent.

Alfred: SSB3YW50IHRvIGhvbGQgeW91

Alfred: WW91ciBhc3MgbG9va3MgZ3JlYXQgdG9kYXk=

Alfred: R29kIEkgd2FudCB0byBmdWNrIHlvdQ==

He may have been going a bit overboard with the amount he was sending, but it just felt so good to say them. If only Arthur felt the same way for sure, then Alfred could just ask him out. The doubts inside of him kept him at bay, his own mind being his worst enemy when it came to his love life. Anxiety was killer for him, and he couldn't help but feel that Arthur was only ever annoyed with him.So he just continued his messages, not a care in the world. Little did Alfred know, Arthur was getting suspicious of all these ‘mistake’ messages.

[alifeasvivid]

I feel like if arthur was a business man and he was in the process of business-ing and brought someone to the home to broker of deal of some kind and was trying to sway them to sign or smth and he comes home to see his partner half naked (not the issue) struggling to put on a corset (not the issue, not even the weirdest thing he's caught alfred doing) and then seeing their other 2 partners sitting there giggling and making semi-crude comments (also on brand for them), arthur would be fine if his potential broker weren't downstairs waiting to meet Mrs. Kirkland and trying to explain that the loud thump they heard was in fact a falling book and not their partner falling on his ass. By the end of the night, the broker and his wife no doubt think that the Kirklands' home is haunted. And in the age of spiritualism, this would be a funny addition

(okay so in my mind, this would be separate from a lavender arrangement... and probably Victorian, not Edwardian... I think Edwardian fashions didn’t include corsets as much? don’t quote me on this)

So corsets were bespoke... and men also wore them, so Alfred would probably already know how to put on his own. Amelia and Alice could have teased him into putting on one of theirs by poking his tummy (which is perfectly flat, but he’s self-conscious the poor thing) and they know he won’t fit, but he doesn’t necessarily know that so he’s trying.

And of course it’s not the weirdest thing Arthur has caught Alfred doing. The weirdest thing was when Alfred was [censored] with his [censored] while [censored]-ing and trying to stand on his head at the same time.

I think the most difficult thing for them would be trying to hide their lifestyle from family, friends, and acquaintances. It is entirely possible that their family and American associates think Arthur’s wife is Amelia, because she actually is legally his wife. Their British friends and acquaintances know his wife to be Alice... and for some reason, in some places where they travel, people know that Arthur’s wife is certainly Alfred (in very convincing drag of course).

Could they have simply paired off in appropriately heterosexual ways and married to keep up appearances? Yes, of course.

But where would the fun be in that?

and one more thing >.> (nsfw-ish)

This poor broker and his wife have further cause to believe the house is haunted because after Alfred falls over and gives up, he’s all mussed and cute and sexy so Alice just can’t keep her hands off of him and the Kirklands must consult a spiritualist about that loudly moaning ghost! the broker’s wife claims. She knows someone reputable she can recommend.

After they’ve gone, Arthur and Amelia go back upstairs and Arthur’s about ready to give Alfred and Alice a piece of his mind, but there’s Alfred on his back on the floor, clearly having been fucked silly, and Alice cuddled smugly on top of him like the cat that got the canary and she’s like “Don’t look at me like that, you know you can’t resist him either.”

And she’s right so neither Arthur or Amelia even bother to try. Poor Alfred. *snerk*

He has to make it up to them somehow, since he ruined Amelia’s corset and Arthur is going to have to buy her a new one.

[alifeasvivid]

Amelia: okay has anyone seen my favorite bra it had unicorns on them

Alice/Arthur/Alfred: is it because you're horny

Or

Alice: should I kill them with kindness or just tell HR?

Alfred/Arthur/Amelia: kill them

Amelia: Has anyone seen my favorite bra? I can't find it anywhere.

Alfred, wearing it at that very moment (and stretching it out quite badly): Sorry, babydoll, I haven't seen it.

Amelia: well then how about my favorite thong panties?

Alice and Arthur: which ones?

Amelia: The one pair with the tiny unicorns on them.

Alice, wearing a pair of Amelia's panties, but not that one: I haven't seen them, love, ask Arthur.

Arthur, definitely wearing that pair: Did you check the laundry basket?

Also......

if someone was bothering Alice at work, she wouldn't have to kill them herself P: OMG Amelia, Alfred, and Arthur each plan their own murder without consulting the others and they end up at the person's house like that meme with the three spidermen pointing at each other.

[alifeasvivid]

There is a si gle brainchild between the four of them and when its not with Alice its just casually vibing between the four of them.

Alfred and amelia: we're going to throw alcohol into the fire to see what colors it turns.

Alice: wait, we had plans

Arthur: providing the alcohol

Again we're leaving Alice out of the fun by making her the mom of the group. No. I won't stand for it ;)

No braincells. Just horniness.

Alfred and Amelia: We're going to throw alcohol into the fire to see what color it turns.

Arthur: I'll get the alcohol, I don't need you two pilfering my good whiskey.

Alice: You guys should take off all your clothes first, you don't wanna accidentally burn them.

>.> I mean it, don't get me started or it's gonna devolve into various scenes of smut that will surpass the word count of the Lord of the Rings trilogy and I frankly don't have that kind of time XD

[alifeasvivid]

Arthur seeing both Amelia and Alfred and being like. This. This is why I'm bi. This. And both of them being like, you're a pervert. We love you, but stop. But both being deeply turned on by any aspect of his physical attributes and personality

>.> Is this not the effect Amelia and Alfred have on everyone?

Oh sure they might tell him to stop, call him a perv........ while simultaneously playing a game of make-out tug of war with him to the point where he gets dizzy and all he can do is helplessly take it. They'd really be giving him such mixed signals, it's hardly fair.

We're always leaving poor Alice out of this too and I think that's a crime. Why should she be deprived of the bliss that is an Alfred&Amelia sandwich?

Of course there's also the flipside with Alice or Arthur being the one in control. Since I'm the champion of ukus why not... uk/us&us? XD

I could seriously go on about all the different--ahem--dynamics between the four of them for ages, but allow me to sum up my preferred way of thinking about them with this handy-dandy graphic from the polyclule periodic table (and for the record, I don't think the nyos and their counterparts are necessarily related at all):

[alifeasvivid]

Alfred loses his glasses: has anyone seen my glasses? I swear I left them on the counter

Amelia/Alice/Arthur, while slowly chewing cereal, staring directly at the glasses on top of his head: ill help you find them for 10$

Or, after getting married

Arthur: okay, who ate my cookies those were homemade and I worked really hard on them I need them for my colleagues they had my initials on them

Alfred/Amelia/Alice: they had all of our initials on them we're all AJ

Now we're getting into the spirit of things! ;)

*AJK lol