#qsmp pta au

[bonesandthebees]

guys. we are missing out on the potential of an elementary school PTA au for qsmp. think real housewives kind of drama. quackity is the PTA president because he's old friends with a lot of the school board even though he doesn't show up to like half the meetings because he's busy. there's so much gossip about who the father of his kid is and he definitely gets judgemental side eye from the other parents about it. tilin is doing well at least? even if they do spend more time at roier and jaiden's house than their own sometimes.

bad is another other single parent but he doesn't get gossiped about because he always runs the bake sale fundraiser and does a great job at it so no one wants to upset him. bad and dapper are the type of parent child duo where bad keeps dapper up to date on ALL the drama going on with the other parents (to a child friendly degree) and dapper is going to grow up to be the worst gossip just like his dad.

no one knows what the fuck is going on with charlie and mariana's marriage. if you ask charlie they're in the middle of a divorce. if you ask mariana they're doing perfectly well they just got into a couple's spat this week and charlie is dramatic. what do you mean it happens every week? no no you misunderstood they're doing fine they're definitely not getting a divorce. literally the only thing they have going for them is how both of them went to bat for juanaflippa when she told them she was a girl it's the sole reason the other parents respect them. what's a more pressing issue is that juanaflippa keeps trying to start fights on the playground and instead of discouraging her charlie and mariana both cheer her on and give her lessons on how to punch people.

phil is one of the older parents and is already experienced since he has an adult child and wasn't planning on having another, but he's done the parent game before which is probably part of why chayanne is at the top of his class while also excelling in his karate classes, softball practice, cross country team, etc. missa is his trophy husband who's just happy to be there. literal "she's everything / he's just ken" moment.

yknow when there's that one mom in the PTA group who is very stereotypically attractive and everyone is convinced she was the mistress for her current husband and caused his last divorce? that's foolish. no one trusts him to be around their partners despite the fact that he didn't cheat!!! at the same time, the minute doors are closed everyone is trying to flirt with him and gets frustrated when he insists he's loyal to vegetta. at least leonarda seems happy.

jaiden and roier are like the picture perfect parents with bobby. he and chayanne constantly compete for the top spot in their class. both jaiden and roier work as lawyers and there was a rumor going around that they were representing charlie and mariana respectively for potential divorce number 3 but this didn't seem to cause any tension between them. roier takes over to lead the PTA meetings when quackity can't make it while jaiden sits in the corner awkwardly trying to keep charlie from getting into an argument with mariana again.

no one has seen spreen in ages. there's another rumored divorce going on between him and fit but instead of making it as public as charlie and mariana's problems fit just makes snide comments about his absent husband here and there.

tallulah transferred to the school in the middle of the year and phil invited wilbur to the PTA meetings so he could be involved in the school. quackity and wilbur are exes and while wilbur insists tilin isn't his kid no one quite believes him. he's a very young single parent though and clearly has no idea what he's doing so even if it's a bit strange that his kid is almost the same age as his little brother chayanne, the other parents are relieved that phil seems to be taking the reigns to help him out. also wilbur is a famous musician and he's gotten asked for autographs from some of the other parents of kids in tallulah's class.

dan and maxo only showed up to the first PTA meeting and never came back. trump transferred schools and no one has heard from them since.

[mcytrecursive]

Nomination Overview - Kidfic

We have a real love-it-or-hate-it one here today. Kidfic! Whether this means the characters when they were kids, de-aging, characters as parents, or new fan kids, here's a type of fic that shows up on people's likes list about as often as it shows up on DNWs. Let take a look at what's been nominated.

Title: Risk! Risk! Risk! Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50843518 Fandom: QSMP Author: WhyB Relationships: Jaiden Animations & Cellbit & Roier, Slimecicle & Jaiden Animations, Cellbit/Roier, Bobby (QSMP) & Jaiden Animations, Bobby (QSMP) & Jaiden Animations & Roier, Bobby & Richarlyson (QSMP), Bobby (QSMP) & Roier, Jaiden Animations & Roier Characters: Jaiden Animations, Roier (Video Blogging RPF), Cellbit, Bobby (QSMP)  Length of the work: 6441 words Genre: AU, Domestic/Slice-of-life, Fluff, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Kidfic, Modern AU Type: Fic Summary: Jaiden and Roier are parenting Bobby in a new town they've moved to. Apparently the only way to meet people your age is through the school's PTA meetings. Cellbit is more than willing to smooth them through the process.

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Title: Flocks & Pyres Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3211260 Fandom: 3rd Life SMP Author: TinksElixirs Relationships: Jimmy | Solidarity/TangoTek�� Characters: Solidarity, Tango Length of the work: 32,024 words (incomplete fic) Genre: Canon-Divergent, Drama, Family, Found Family, Kidfic Type: Fic Summary: This is the AU that was created because I saw the "Rancher's Revenge is Jimmy and Tango's child" trope and went even further down the rabbit hole...by giving them an egg to protect. It's the baby fic (and pre-baby fic) I never expected to write, but I'm having an absolutely BLAST with it anyway!

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Title: With The Venom In My Mouth Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46449652 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: antimony_medusa Relationships: Philza & Technoblade (DSMP) Characters: Philza, Technoblade Length of the work: 13,643 words Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Time Travel, Kidfic Type: Fic Summary: Phil stayed quiet in the box and looked down to fighters on the sand. A piglin hybrid with a trident batted the sword of a cat hybrid away and knocked her to the ground. She stared up at him, and the piglin looked to a human in finer armour standing to the side. He nodded, and he stepped back, pulling the trident away from the neck of the cat hybrid. In his memory, these had been soldiers he’d asked to see more of, but looking at this with the experience of a lifetime, he could see that there were no avians down on the sand, and most of the fighters were wearing collars. Phil glanced around the room. Awful lot of the non-avians in the box were wearing collars too. He tucked his chin into his chest. So he was a child again, and he was a child in a city that kept slaves. Fuckin’ fantastic. A rabbit hybrid in a red tunic came over with a plate of little snack foods. She offered it to him. “A snack, young master?” She was wearing a collar too. He did not feel like food. “No, thanks,” Phil said, shaking his head without emerging from his huddle. Or: Philza gets sent back to his childhood and finds it's fucked up. What could make this worse? Oh, oh finding that Techno is in danger, that's just great.

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Title: Its Free Son Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30819416 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: SilverWing15 Relationships: Philza & Technoblade (DSMP) Characters: Philza, Technoblade Length of the work: 3,522 words Genre: AU, Friendship, Found Family, Kidfic Type: Fic Summary: He comes from the realm of the dead. Through the doorway that stands alone on the far off hill. He walks across the Soul Sand desert as though it does not tug at the essence of himself. He wears sacred gold and carries weapons of precious netherite. He is a god, and they have been his favored people for as long as anyone can remember. He comes to their village and trades sacred gold for their potions and eyes of ender. The Blood God walks among them, and they are honored. They have always traded fairly with the Blood God. Sacred gold for offerings of pearls potions and other difficult to acquire things. But this time the Blood God granted them his favor, this time he turned aside their enemies with his open hand and took nothing in return. It is not done to simply take from the gods. The debt must always be repaid. He has saved their lives, they must offer him a life in return. And their eyes fall on him. Technoblade is not a coward. He has faced the enemy in battle, he has seen the Blood God in all his wrathful glory. But he doesn’t want to die.

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Title: Scarecrow AU (When The Sunlight Dies) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2556517 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: personalized_radio, bramble_patch (Marianne_Dashwood) Relationships: Dream/GeorgeNotFound, Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Quackity/Jschlatt Characters: Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity, Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, DreamXD Length of the work: 511,877 words Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, AU, Dark Fic, Drama, Family, Fantasy AU, Friendship, Found Family, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Kidfic, Romance, Royalty AU Type: Fic Series Summary: It's been three months since the coup. Three months since Sapnap, a knight, and George, his prince, have been chased out of their home. Three months of being on the run, trying to find a safe way out of Kinoko without being caught by the president's mercenaries or an opportunistic bounty hunter. It's hard, but it would be a lot easier if he didn't have to worry about George's sudden taste for wandering. Or the two guides that have worked their way into his group, promising them a safer way out of the kingdom. And it would be a whole lot easier if Sapnap wasn't flying solo, doing a job made for two. And then there's the Godling to worry about. Yeah. That's a whole thing. (Summary is for "When The Sunlight Dies", the first story in the series)

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[cacti-on-venus]

Psssst, hey kid *pushes this fic towards you* want some q!tntduo PTA AU fanfiction?

My brain rot has finally spilled

[999moreyears]

qsmp x ut/dr PTA au. can you hear me

[bonesandthebees]

Im practically begging for more posts about the nuclear fallout level QSMP PTA au, whenever you can get around to it. Literally my favorite thing ive read in days. Please. (Only if you wanna ^^)

Foolish and Mariana have some beef because they're exes from long before any of them had kids. It's awkward that their kids go to the same schools but it makes sense yknow? This also leads to Charlie showing up to a meeting drunk one time and calling Foolish a whore but that's something no one talks about

No one knows why the fuck Foolish and Bad hate each other because there is zero sexual tension there so they probably aren't exes but those two are mortal enemies. Except Bad finds it funny and constantly antagonizes Foolish with the bitchiest backhanded compliments while Foolish constantly looks like he's two seconds away from strangling him.

Bad: "Oh Foolish congrats on your marriage! Hopefully this one lasts longer than your last relationship :)"

Foolish: awkwardly laughs while rage burns in his eyes

[bonesandthebees]

I am loving the Qsmp PTA AU. For all of the parents, what are each of their favorite and least favorite chores?

oooo we are at peak surburban parenting with this question

quackity's least favorite chore tends to be taking tilin to appointments or extracurriculars or playdates. of course he doesn't want tilin to be locked up in the house all the time, but he's just so busy with other stuff that driving tilin around really cuts into his time and he doesn't count it as spending time with tilin either since he's just driving them places. he'd rather actually go hang out with his kid at like a movie theater or make dinner together or something, but then he has to take tilin for a checkup and that takes the whole afternoon and suddenly it's nighttime and there's just not enough hours in the day. he has a carpool set up with roier and jaiden.

mariana genuinely sucks at babysitting. charlie isn't great either, but mariana would much rather be around juanaflippa with at least one other parent around to help him out. he always loses sight of her at the worst possible moments and it gives him a heart attack every time. charlie meanwhile tells people that family dinners are a chore because that's when he has to spend the most time with his "bitch wife". this isn't exactly true he doesn't hate mariana that much but he's very dramatic about their marital problems. also the entire process of making dinner, and any meals really, for juanaflippa is a headache because of how many allergies she has. of course charlie doesn't mind this his little girl needs to eat, but damn it would be easier if he could just give her a pb & j.

spreen has the energy of a guy who would pass out trying to change a diaper. I have not watched enough of him to know if this is true but it's the vibes i get.

while foolish doesn't dislike socializing he really isn't a fan of all the social events the pta puts on that you have to go to all the time (this definitely has nothing to do with the fact that bad shows up to every single one of these. nope no way not related at all). he'd much rather stay at home sketching out more blueprints (I think he's an architect in this au) or exploring the city with leonarda. vegetta doesn't mind and happily goes to events like these on his own (it's a wonder people still think foolish is the flirt). but vegetta hates home repairs like if the sink busts or something so foolish takes care of that stuff for the family.

jaiden doesn't mind cleaning chores because those give her time to clear her head and she enjoys spending time with the kids so she doesn't mind babysitting either, but cooking is where she fails. girl has burnt water before. she's not allowed near the stove in the house so roier does most of the cooking. meanwhile roier hates doing dishes so it works out for them both.

phil can't stand things that keep him tied up at home for long periods of time. like a full day of house cleaning? nope get him out of there the man needs fresh air at least for a few hours every day. missa dislikes grocery shopping because he can never find what he's looking for or he never brings enough reusable bags or he forgets something- phil does the grocery shopping for them lmao

wilbur has a whole list of mundane chores he absolutely sucks at because he's used to living on the road and keeps forgetting the things you have to do when you're settled in one place for a while. like missa, wilbur also hates grocery shopping. but unlike missa wilbur just uses the wonders of instacart and gets a lot of their groceries delivered to the house. he also sucks at putting laundry away. he's used to keeping his clothes shoved inside a small suitcase you think he's gonna know how to hang stuff or fold it? no he does not. he makes an effort to hang up tallulah's skirts and dresses so she doesn't show up to school in wrinkled clothes, but his own outfits are a mess. at least they're clean. and he also sucks at cooking but like his solution for grocery shopping, he has a dashpass for doordash so he and tallulah eat take out at least 3 nights a week.

bad is like the 50s housewife stereotype except he's a single parent. he cooks he cleans he bakes—he does it all! except vacuuming. on god this man hates vacuuming. I have no explanation for this except I hate vacuuming and I couldn't think of anything else for him

[bonesandthebees]

i love the qsmp pta au so much already it sounds like such a glorious dumster fire >:D what do you reckon tilin and tallulah think about each other?

well tallulah transfers to the school in the middle of the year but she and tilin hit it off instantly. while tilin and juanaflippa are best friends, they're not in the same class so they only get to see each other at lunch and recess :( but! tallulah is in tilin's class! the two just click and that day at lunch tilin drags her over to the table they share with juanaflippa and she joins the two of them for lunch every day after that. it's very sweet :)

tilin and tallulah have no clue that their dads know each other. one day wilbur is picking tallulah up from school and she's hugging tilin and wilbur is like "oh you have a friend! :D" and introduces himself to tilin and asks where their parents are, and quackity walks up behind them like "well well well look what the cat dragged in" and wilbur is just like oh fuck me. for the rest of the afternoon quackity tries to convince tilin that they shouldn't talk to tallulah because he's a petty bitch but tilin refuses so quackity very quickly gives up

the first time tallulah asks if tilin can come over for a playdate quackity wants to say no, but then tilin gives him these big sad eyes and he gives in. he plans on just dropping tilin off at wilbur's house and leaving immediately but, well, wilbur is just so annoying so he can't let him have the last word on whatever weird homoerotic argument they got into this time-

he stays and bickers with wilbur the entire time tilin and tallulah are playing together but again, in a homoerotic way. after quackity and tilin leave that's when tallulah asks wilbur if he likes quackity LMAO

[bonesandthebees]

I love your pta au so much!!

Gotta ask, was Phil or Missa involved in any sort of drama?

lol thank you I'm glad people like my silly au

for the most part phil and missa stay out of drama, but also love to know what's going on. since missa is the trophy husband he tends to get the gossip from the other parents like what happened between mariana and foolish in the past, who's kid got what grade on the latest test, what spreen's been up to since he stopped showing up to the pta meetings, etc. then he reports it all back to phil

phil just wants to focus on raising his kid and also helping to raise his grandkid. except he also knows so much about charlie and mariana's divorce(s). so much more than he wants to know. he has a grudge against charlie because one night after he got into a fight with mariana charlie showed up drunk at their house banging on the door and shouting incoherently. none of them were home at the time but phil saw it on his doorbell camera because of course this bitch would have a fucking doorbell camera

phil also has a superiority complex though because chayanne keeps talking about setting buildings on fire and carries a lighter around and it's really starting to freak the other parents out, but phil just laughs it off and insists a little threatened arson never hurt anyone, right?

[bonesandthebees]

i love the qsmp pta au. if you want to, can you tell me stuff about the kids?

this ask was sent so long ago before the brazilians even showed up so sorry for how late this is but I will come up with answers now!!

chayanne, bobby, dapper, and leo are all in the same year at school. meanwhile, tallulah, tilin, juanaflippa, ramon, trump are in the year below them. (juanaflippa was actually supposed to be in the same year as the older kids, but because of how sick she's been in the past she missed a lot of school and ended up having to repeat a year). and richarlyson is in the year below those guys so he's the youngest.

chayanne and bobby are insanely competitive with each other. chayanne is at the top of the class with grades, he always does the best in PE, and he he's super involved in a ton of extracurriculars like sports. bobby is much more of a little shit who will go out of his way to cause trouble, but he also gets perfect grades and always does really well in PE so he and chayanne have a bit of a rivalry going on. also this isn't to say chayanne isn't a little shit. he definitely is. but where bobby would put a pie on someone's chair so they would sit on it as a prank, chayanne would just throw the pie directly in their face. he's more direct basically

dapper also does really well in school and gets along well with the other kids, but he's the kind of kid that almost prefers talking to adults. that's probably because of how close he and bad are, with bad being a single parent who usually just handles things himself, so dapper always comes with if he's going to a dinner party or something even if other kids won't be there. also, he loves knowing all the adult gossip (kid friendly version) from his dad.

although leo doesn't get perfect grades like chayanne and bobby, she can give those two a run for their money in PE. she's not afraid to get down and dirty. also tbh I haven't watched a ton of streams with leo in them, but she has the energy of a kid that would make 'potions' out of dirt and worms. feel free to correct me if i'm wrong but that's just a vibe.

as i said in a previous ask, tallulah transferred in mid year and became friends with tilin, who then introduced her to juanaflippa at lunch since she's in a different class than the other two girls. tallulah is a very sweet girl who tried to be nice to everyone she meets. she sometimes gets in trouble for trying to play her flute in class though because it distracts the other kids :( also like dapper tallulah is really good at talking to adults bc of how much she and wilbur moved around when she was younger, but she doesn't necessarily prefer talking to adults like dapper sometimes does.

juanaflippa gets sick a lot. like, a lot a lot. she's got a ton of allergies and has had to miss a lot of school in the past, and it definitely doesn't help that charlie and mariana are a young couple who were definitely not ready for a kid let alone a kid that regularly has to go to the hospital. but they're working things out! also juanaflippa is a kid who very much doesn't realize how abnormal her home life is. she learned how to shoot a bb gun when she was 5 bc charlie thought it'd look sick, and now she's a crack shot. she knows the passcodes to both charlie and mariana's phones bc they both privately asked her if she could figure out the code by watching it get put in so they could look through each other's phones—and no, she hasn't said anything about them both doing this to either of them. she's convinced satan once visited her bedroom at night and they just chatted. while mariana reasons that it was a nightmare charlie also had the same nightmare so he's not so sure.

richarlyson does not realize it's not common to have 5 dads until he starts talking to the other kids at his school. he got really confused when juanaflippa was talking about how mad her dads got at each other bc they were accusing the other of cheating bc he didn't know about monogamy. he's a rambunctious kid who definitely takes some risks he shouldn't (which is probably bc of how chaotic some of his dads are) which is how he ends up breaking his leg within his first week at the school. also he's slowly gaining a love for puzzles bc he likes to stay up late and watch his dad cellbit decode stuff at his computer. oh, and forever has convinced richarlyson he's a werewolf. there's literally no reason for this forever just thought it would be funny but the bit has gone on for too long now and he's not sure how to explain to his kid that it's not true. he's just hoping that richarlyson eventually realizes werewolves aren't real on his own.

[bonesandthebees]

Would Luzu be included in the PTA au as anything other than fuel for the gossip around Quackity?

I don't know much about what Luzu has done on the server/how often he's been on except for the first day so at the moment yes he'd mostly just be gossip fuel. Unless of course there's some big fundraising event the PTA is holding and Luzu shows up, leading to Wilbur finding out there's another possible parent for Tilin besides himself and being like "you said I abandoned our child when you had another guy on the side who could be Tilin's father the entire time what the fuck" to Quackity and everyone else is just like

[bonesandthebees]

i actually think they should fight to the death in the pta au as a treat. juanaflippa deserves to shoot philza minecraft to death in every universe if she wants to

you're absolutely right anon juanaflippa DOES deserve to shoot philza minecraft to death in every universe

charlie and mariana are the kind of couple to be the subject of a criminal investigation because the neighbors think they saw their very young daughter playing with a gun. thankfully jaiden is their lawyer so she manages to get any potential charges dropped

[bonesandthebees]

Qquackity would try to pick fights with qjaiden and qroier all the time calling bobby spoiled. He never wins the arguments

oh absolutely sometimes roier is like "hey man you know we're always available to take care of tilin but they seem to miss you a lot" and quackity is like "are you trying to call me a bad parent when your child's playroom looks like the inside of FAO Schwarz" like he's soooo bitchy about how spoiled bobby is

[bonesandthebees]

wilbur is now officially the karen type soccer mom of the PTA who will lose his mind if anything or anyone upsets his perfect daughter

[bonesandthebees]

This is canon to the pta au

[bonesandthebees]

i know its been a lil bit since it was brought up but how does the Brazilian polycule affect the pta au?? 0.0

tbh I have been avoiding the pta au asks in my inbox precisely bc I don't know how the brazilians fit into it yet but I'm starting to get an idea?

richarlyson is a very unexpected transfer to the school. he comes in towards the end of the year but makes friends quickly! what's more unexpected are his parents. all 5 of them.

now the pta is an accepting place. no one minds that richarlyson is being raised by 5 dudes. good for them y'know? but there's definitely judgement as to how all of richarlyson's dads parent him.

richarlyson gets hurt a lot. trying to climb up walls, using playground equipment the wrong way (like trying to climb on top of the slide), and every time the school calls his dads they always laugh it off. they're all for encouraging his adventurous spirit! but also, um, he broke his leg trying to do a flip off the monkey bars so uhhh yeah can one of you guys come pick him up-

now as for the polycule's relationship with the rest of the pta members... well, forever makes his interest in phil known the first time they meet. he flirts so much and phil kind of laughs it off at first, makes a few jokes back in a way that's obviously not serious but playing into it a bit but. but forever isn't doing it as a bit. ruh roh.

the first time phil rejects forever, he swears off phil and promises to get revenge for the heartbreak. then he just starts flip flopping between hating phil and also flirting with him every time he sees him. phil just wants to talk about the lack of proper sports equipment in the school gym but forever won't stop staring at him and he can't tell if it's a hateful glare or that he has the hots for him. (it's both).

meanwhile, it doesn't take cellbit long to become suspicious of the school admins and questions how the school budget is actually being spent. he tries to talk to quackity about it but quackity insists he doesn't know anything. bbh has also been getting suspicious of this, and cellbit is an old friend of bbh's so the two of them quickly start doing their own private investigation. maxo starts showing up to meetings again despite the fact that trump is homeschooled now, and ends up admitting to cellbit and bbh that the whole weird shit going on with the admins is part of why he decided to pull his kid out of the school. so the three of them start their investigation team, which foolish accidentally gets sucked into except he really doesn't know a ton of what's going on he's kinda just there because as always, foolish and bad are soulmates but in the arch nemesis kind of way not the romantic way.

cellbit starts having horrible nightmares and is convinced he's being haunted or mentally tormented with psychic energy from the school admins or something. he's a bit of a conspiracy theorist.

I haven't seen as much from tazercraft or felps so I can't say much about what they're doing yet, but that's what I have so far for the brazilians!!

[bonesandthebees]

is q a teacher in the pta au now too?👀

I GUESS HE IS NOW

can a teacher be part of the PTA if one of their kids goes to the school?? is that a conflict of interest??

I think now q was part of the PTA but then he got a job as a teacher there so he ended up stepping down from the PTA mostly because he was too busy. roier is the leader of the PTA after that.

as a teacher quackity still holds his grudges from the PTA days. he hates chayanne with a burning passion because chayanne is a little shit who keeps antagonizing him so q is really out here beefing with a child. obviously he's not a monster so he's not purposefully failing chayanne or anything, but he definitely calls on him for the hardest questions in class and gets pissed when chayanne always gets them right (and he doesn't miss the smug grin chayanne gives him afterwards)

tallulah is in another class he teaches and quackity adores her because she's the absolute sweetest kid (definitely not because she's wilbur's kid nope nothing there at all). she's a little teachers pet and she's not even trying. he always checks in to see how she's doing in class and offers her extra help on any questions she has

you'd think being a former member of the PTA would give quackity a better perspective on being a teacher and interacting with the PTA. no. he just knows the stupid bullshit that goes on behind the scenes there and holds his petty grudges against the other parents