#q!cellbit how dare you

[fireheartwraith]

I'm so fucking mad

ELE NÃO TEM O DIREITO

[kogratorm]

Okay, listen.

We are all deeply saddened by the situation lurking over our cubitos, but let me explain why Q!Roier's reaction is understandable and genuine. Despite his hurt caused by Q!Cellbit, I don't believe he truly meant what he said.

From a realistic standpoint, it's completely natural and not at all unreasonable to feel angry if someone from your family (especially someone you're close to) is murdered. EVEN WORSE, BY YOUR GROOM. The situation itself is incredibly absurd and it's completely valid for Q!Roier to feel the way he does as a real person.

We all joked that Q!Roier would be his fiancé’s apologist, but it's valid and real that he didn't. However, when he said "Te odio" (I hate you) in that moment, he did mean it, but not in the way everyone is interpreting it.

He hates that Q!Cellbit initially lied, whether out of fear or not.

He hates the feeling of being betrayed by Q!Cellbit, someone he placed trust in, much like he did with his friends (Q!Spreen, Q!Missa, and even Q!Quackity), as well as Cucurucho.

He hates that the story is being retold.

He hates being the one who's traumatized every time; he has experienced it multiple times, so it's only natural for him to react defensively, saying things without thinking, to protect himself.

I would even dare to say that the presence of Q!Quackity might have triggered memories of the past situation with Q!Spreen, regardless of whether Q!Quackity was actually trying to help them this time.

Does he hate Q!Cellbit?

Perhaps. Right now, he definitely hates him. He told Richarlyson that if he were to send an elegant (vent) mail, he would only say hurtful things. Because he IS in fact hurt, and that IS valid.

However, the real "hate" here is directed towards the pain he is once again enduring.

Q!Roier is so traumatized that he's already accepting Q!Cellbit as just like the others, not wanting to hear anything he has to say. To be fair, it's difficult to listen to someone who has taken the life of someone you cared about.

Unlike the others, Q!Cellbit told the truth and sincerely apologized right away when he found the courage to do so, despite being advised otherwise.

He was afraid, but he still spoke the truth.

He did it because he didn't want their marriage to be built on a lie, not when it was already heading in that direction.

If only Q!Roier knew how abnormal it is for Q!Cellbit to tell the truth and how much he would have preferred to lie his way out of it.

But he didn’t.

Q!Cellbit choose to not hold on that lie. He is fully aware that his actions were unforgivable. He doesn't expect forgiveness from Q!Roier.

bicrysis @ Twitter:

They love each other deeply, they are hurt by the mistakes they made and the damage it brought, but the love is still there. Just because Q!Roier isn't as much of a hopeless romantic as Q!Cellbit doesn't mean his feelings are any less valid. It doesn't mean that he didn't love him and doesn't continue to love him.

It is exactly because of this enduring love that the hurt runs so deep.

The depth of their love intensifies the impact of the current circumstances, making it all the more heart-wrenching. The realization that someone Q!Roier cared for, someone he entrusted with his heart after everything he went through, could commit such a grievous act... It cuts deeply into Q!Roier's soul.

But, the same love that hurts so much, might guide them through the turmoil, offering a chance for forgiveness, understanding, and ultimately, redemption.

In the midst of this tragedy, the strength of their love remains an anchor, a glimmer of hope that refuses to be extinguished. It is a testament to their resilience and the depth of their bond.

And that gives me hope. I can, indeed, see hope in that.

But only after everything that needs to be hurt is hurt.

And everything that needs to be healed, is healed.

[...] Love can be good, it can be bad, it can be hurtful, it can be joyful. Love is a compilation of every feeling a human is going to feel in their life.

[dez-wade]

GODDDD OKAY Tubbo and Bagi are honestly like, the perfect people for Forever to become closer with BECAUSE they are very blunt and upfront. It's something I appreciate about Phil's friendship with Forever too like they're take no bullshit and will directly talk to him if there's an issue.

It's especially helpful since I feel like Forever struggles a lot when people are sarcastic with him in English or "obviously" not being truthful or not being direct since it isn't HIS language. Bagi speaks Portuguese too, and Tubbo also struggles with sarcasm and is usually quite straight forward which is something I feel like Forever needs since he's quite earnest and open with the people he loves.

He does just deserve so much more, and he DOES have so many good friendships that both him and his fans don't realize where the other person actually cares for HIM and HIS safety and happiness nd not his title as president. (Etoiles, Philza, Cellbit, Pac, Roier, maybe Tina, the other Brazilians, etc)

I knowww his character is just like that, far too forgiving and willing to accept the way others treat him but I need him to be friends with someone who won't take his shit but also won't let certain people walk all over him and call his one sided trust and loyalty "friendship". Just...I want him to be close with people who care for him and for him to realize just how many people he has who trust him and that being ganged up on and accused of horrible things because you dared disagree with ur "close friend" isnt Normal Friend Things

Sorry I think Forever finally realizing it's a duo, NOT a trio made me finally snap after months of watching him fight while feeling completely alone since he thought he only had those two who treated him with mistrust and actively tried to turn everyone against him and richas who was uninterested in having a relationship with him before being literally kidnapped

Ramblings about q!Forever and his friendships.

You made a really good point about Forever needing to have friendships that are more blunt and upfront. BBH likes to lie and gaslight for fun, Baghera does that too sometimes and Forever usually takes it as face value. Which is why he snapped on Bad and started talking Portuguese when he went all mockingly "it's sarcasm" when Forever didn't understand. They also do a lot of mind games that Forever wasn't even aware of.

People got mad that Forever never believes when BBH says something but that's because HE ALWAYS LIES. I think what happened now made sure that Forever will never believe BBH again, even if he tells the truth (that he only tells after telling 10 lies before) because it finally clicked to him that BBH will lie about everything because he can, even if there's absolutely no need to. He actually trusted BBH every time he said he didn't do something that he actually did (like the pranks on his base).

Having him get closer to people who are more earnestly like him, don't do mind games and are clear about what they're feeling is something that he definitely needs. It also explains why he has such a warped sense of what his friendship with Baghera and Bad actually were.

I REALLY wish he learned about what happened with his gun. What would have been just something small before, with the current situation, it would really enlighten him that is something that is always happening. For big, and small things.

I stop deluding myself that he'd cut ties with them for good, I just really need at least that he stops treating them priority and value his friendship with other people more. No matter who it is at this point, as long as it's someone who just earnestly likes and trusts him.

I always had people saying I want Forever to have a "yes-man" because I complained about BBH and Baghera never agreeing with anything that Forever decides to do. But they never supported him in any of his decisions. Like, I think the only thing they didn't complain about was N.I.N.H.O. and hell I think if Forever tried to come up with that idea today they would twist into the worst case scenario. And even then, after he was completing NINHO, I remember Etoiles tried to come up with an idea of having a council with the strongest members on the island so they could mediate between conflicts that could affect everyone like the Regret arc. Forever liked the idea and tried to tell Bad, who immediately twisted into the worst case scenario that they would be bullies that arrest people. So it's something that always happened, you know? Even before the election arc. They never trust him to make big decisions. It's something that made me appreciate insaneduo so much back in the election arc, because it was such a relief to see him speak with someone who valued his ideas, added to it, or just argued normally why it wasn't good.

I think the reason he's so forgiving is that he's trying to be his better self, since he wasn't a good person in the past, so he thinks he should be the bigger person and let people walk over him. I don't think he found a balance of what a good person that helps the people actually is. There's also the fact that at the end of the day, he's at a point where he truly doesn't care about anyone or anything besides Richarlyson and making sure that he leaves the island. That's why he can't even hate Cucurucho (despite obviously not liking him) even with the fact that he pretty much tortured him, because Richarlyson wasn't affected so he thinks it's not important.

I really, really wanted that Forever had someone at his side that didn't make him feel Richarlyson was everything he has. That if, God forbid, Richarlyson died one day he'd at least think he still has someone for him besides just dying together with his son.

[crychaoss]

Ok, so everything I said about what the "we are humans, not fish." quote from Foolish is probably not right BECAUSE

I just found out that this quote is from Naruto, more specifically Itachi, a member of the akatsuki, the organisation where Foolish's current skin came from ->

The whole quote is this:

"We're both human, not fish. No matter who you are, you do not truly know what kind of a man you've become until you reach the very end. One realizes one's true nature at the moment of death. Don't you think that's what death is about?"

It's interesting that q!Foolish changed it to "we are humans" and not "we're both human". He probably meant all the other members who do not trust him at the moment. And the next line is pretty self explanatory, everyone is saying that q!Foolish betrayed them and that he's working for the Federation, but since we don't know what the Feds true intentions are with Foosh, we simply do not know if he did betray them or not.

Look at q!Cellbit as an example. Everyone trusted him, and he's the reason everything they knew about the feds and their whole investigation went to waste, even if he didn't do it intentionally. Maybe Foolish working with the Feds on purpose, might give the opposite results, and they might actually find a way to take down the Federation once and for all.

But as the quote says "No matter who you are, you do not truly know what kind of man you've become until you reach the very end". Foolish on the day he arrested Pac e Mike also said this: "Eventually it will all pay off. We just have to be very very patient, like we've always been." Whatever is the outcome of all this, we have to wait until the end, and then we'll know if Foolish did make a mistake joining the Federation or not.

The last part is a bit worrying tho, because q!Foolish might be implying that if it comes to that, his friends and family will only know what kind of a person he truly was, once he dies.

Some other cool hints from Naruto that were said before "we're both humans, not fish":

Kisame, another character from Naruto was talking about sharks and how they are killers from the moment they are born, and that's why Itachi called sharks "fish", because Kisame compared Itachi and him to sharks.

"No one who dares to raise their hand against a comrade ever dies a decent death" - I don't think Foolish even realized but this line fits him and Tazercraft so well. This was said like right before the fish quote.

So that's all the theory stuff. I just want to say big KUDOS to Foolish because holy shit. When Cellbit went to the coords, he was so disappointed by the sign Foolish left because he has no idea it has a deeper meaning. We knew Foolish was smart, and I was guessing the quote was not just some kind of joke because if you look at most of Foolish's stuff that are not supposed to be taken seriously, he most of the times puts ":D" next to it. But the sign only had the quote, nothing else. It even had a dot at the end (which means serious). So I hope Foolish and Cellbit gets to talk today before or after the elections and Foolish might imply that the quote has a deeper meaning (or Cellbit finds out about it in some other way). I just want him to know because it was such a smart move from Foolish. My streamer is good at lore :D

[satirates]

Baghera Jones is her own person that can make her own decisions, thank you very much

I wasn't going to post this here because most of this discourse came from the bird app, but I've seen so much posts here (and in my notes) that I need to get this out of my chest. So this post is going to be TW: fandom neg about Baghera treatment by the QSMP community, be warned.

So, where to begin?

I keep seeing post about Q!Baghera being a bad friend to Forever, insulting her, saying she" hate him" and that it would be better if Forever only interact with Brazilians from now on. And I'm tired of this shit

" She will clearly always side with BBH whatever Forever do"

Oh, so we have a woman friend with two men, so of course she needs to take sides. Forbid her to have her personal opinions, it all about choosing the guy she likes the most, isn't it ? How people don't realize hoe misogynistic that way of thinking is !?

She literally connected on the server yesterday, learned that Forever wanted to build a prison to imprison players and that he pass a law that was specifically targeted at one of her other friends. Of course, she said that she will stand by BBH if this continues. She is trying to comfort him because from HER perspective, he's being targeted by unfair laws, and he is still (in lore) experiencing psychological problems. She didn't side with him, she chooses to help him. Because she can make decision with the information she has.

" But she is always against what Forever propose with the government"

I'm sorry, where were you when the election arc happens? Probably insulting Baghera because she dare have opinions and calling them "stupid" and "baseless" to the point she quitted I guess? q!Baghera was ALWAYS anti-federation. She joined the election so she could start a revolution. Even after she accepted to not do that, she always defends the point that having a president was a bad idea and that a council would be better. These ideas aren't new and she didn't stop having them after Forever got elected. It makes sense for her character to oppose to him, because she was never for a president in first place.

Yesterday, she didn't say she thought his idea of vote is stupid. She says that she doesn't agree with HOW it's done right now and that they can make it better. More representative of the people. But when she talked to Forever, he basically ran away when she started saying she didn't like it. Then they got interrupted by Bad. She hadn't the time to explain herself and people are acting like she said the idea(and Forever) was bad when she never says such thing. And even if she was totally against it, she would have the right to. She has the right to have a different opinion than her friends.

" But she is always hiding things!"

Clearly, you haven't watched Baghera's stream in a long time. What does she have to hide, I'm asking you? She never gets lore, and never has any in the past. Every time sometimes mildly exciting happen, she is running to another player just so she could tell them. In the election arc she was even sharing a ton of secrets with Cellbit, a guy she was convince was a dormant agent, just because he was on the server at the same time as her and she needed to share! She is only keeping secrets that other people told her. You know, like a good friend? Also, she sometimes forgot to say things right away, but cc! Baghera has ADHD, so it's not on purpose she sometimes forgets things. CC! Baghera said that canonically, her character trust Forever 100%, and she kept it that way so far. She just has no secrets to share right now because she isn't getting any lore.

" But Forever is always alone these days, and Baghera isn't appreciative of his work!"

Pshhh, I'm going to tell you a secret. You know who's alone 90% of their streams? BAGHERA JONES! She is in her castle alone, building. And why she spends the other 10% with people? Because she goes to people to check on them! Does Forever do that? No. He's in is isolation arc. We have never seen him check on what Baghera was doing or asking to do something together. Several times we've seen the players having fun while he was online, and he didn't join. It's not Baghera's job to go fetch him to play and help him when he isn't asking for it. And she always shows appreciation for what he is doing, just not in his face. Things you would know if y'all were actually watching her POV. She has Portuguese and English subtitle on at all times, you have no excuses. And why these type of comments are always directed toward Baghera and nobody else in the server that are doing stuff aside from Forever? Literally, I've never seen anyone else being call names because they are not tending to someone else need. Truly strange that it's directed at a woman, isn't it?

Baghera said in live recently that she has to take a break from doing lore with some of the streamers with the biggest community because she was getting hate every single time she was interacting with them. She didn't say names, But we all know who she was talking about. And I think it sucks she has to walk on eggshells around Brazilian players because of that. That she try to not be too friendly/teasing with Forever because of that. If you don't see her spending time with him as much, now you know why. They are still friend, but she doesn't want to deal with the community bullshit.

To conclude

She said that she wants her character to be recognized for her own achievement and not just be "Forever and bad third friend". And I'm also tired of this. She has the right to have opinions. She has the right to make decisions that contradict the ones of her friends. Furthermore, she isn't "Forever bad friend" or "BadBoyHalo emotional support woman". She is her own person. Stop acting like she's picking sides. Stop to infantilize her by saying that "she needs to think about the way she's acting". All her decisions make sense in universe. She has the right to defend her friend, she has the right to do her castle in peace, she has the right to not spend time with/help her brother if she doesn't feel like it. SHE has the RIGHT to exist at the SAME LEVEL as BBH and Forever, not as their accessory that is there to break them apart.

We have a lot more women on the server now that Jaiden plays regularly and with the new players. Let threat them like person, not just by the lenses of the men of the QSMP. Go watch their POV. Ask questions to people that watch them on main.

I'm so tired of this, it's being going on for months. I know the biggest part of the community is nice and love her. At least until she does something they don't like. I'm so tired...

[anartisticdreamer0]

(this will be a complete liveblog of what’s happening on elq’s pov)

HE WENT DOWN THE ELEVATOR AND THERES A WHOLE FACILITY.

he’s walking down a hallway with creepy music playing- it stopped. this is a long hallway. no music tho.

this is a ridiculously long hallway wtf. oh we get music again.

oh a room. is there a door? he disconnected? i heard a discord sound effect- OH HES TALKING.

(roier killed cellbit kekw)

he’s talking about how interesting despite how long he’s spent in purgatory he’s never seen such hypocrisy and sin. and that purgatory has done that on purpose that it has brought out the worst in people.

HES DYING OF THIRST HAHAHAHA HE HAD TO ASK THE ADMINS FOR WATER NO MAMES.

haha to make the drink “cool” he said these are the tears of god. he sounds a lot like the eyeball watcher thing.

we’re back to walking down long creepy hallways- oo stairs.

THE FUCKING EGGS. YOU MONSTER. ALL THE BABIES ARE HERE. he’s seeing if he knows all the babies. he doesn’t really remember their names but he knows who their parents are. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO POMME. he said no one loves pomme.

HES SAYING THE EGGS WERE ABANDONED THATS NOT TRUE YOU PRICK. pomme you amazing girl. she has complete faith in her parents, in etoiles, that they love her. ELQ YOU BITCH. the eggs still have signs btw. “stop talking about my dad” love you ramon. TALLULAHHHH MY BABY. why does he keep calling the daughters “hijo” bro wtf hija dude hija. lullah responded in spanish how interesting. she knows elq isn’t q WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST SAID SHES GONNA DIE.

there were mob sound effects of something dying. and weirdly enough those sounds lined up with a mob phil is attacking on the surface. interesting.

elq said all the parents are hypocrites and they will kill the other eggs to save their own kid. and how all the parents are not good people. chayanne is the only name he remembered immediately how weird.

poor leo. he didn’t even remember anything about her. “leo culero” love ya leo. richas our beloved. he wants to tell richas something and wants his full attention while saying it.

“there’s no big disturbance to the peace than a group of people who want to know something they shouldn’t” i believe that’s what he said. my spanish is not perfect.

he tells the eggs to stop hoping their parents will come get them, but that it’s up to them. that it’s nice to have faith. and that if they want to give a last message to their parents he might pass it on.

“BRASIL C-“ there was more but i wasn’t able to write it. it was richas tho

“mata es culero por mi” - leo

“my das will always better than you” - chayanne

“Give him hell Dad Fit.” - ramon

“Papa phil forgive me for not a bittersweet goodbye. Papi Wilbur. I miss you endlessly and I know we will reunite <3 ily” - tallulah

“quinta vez que me secuestran y aun asi esto es tan aburrido y sozo” - dapper

“I trust them. I believe in them. I love them. I miss them. And you. Don’t you dare hurt any of my siblings.” - pomme

he then says he has no further plans for them and that all of their parents are savages and they’re about to have a huge fight. i heard a sign get placed but elq didn’t check it out. at dapper’s he laughed remembering the time he captured him.

(why the hell did fit say they broke the geneva convention??)

elq asks something(?) if there’s anything more and to tell him then. nothing responds.

THE EYE SAYS ONLY THE LEADERS WILL FIGHT. 1v1 pvp. nothing off the table.

after the announcement elq’s stream ends.

[anonymous-dentist]

Adding to reason q!quackity might like cellbit, because the guy besides being so human in a place where animals are hell to him, the guy is *actively hostile* to any other thing in the federation, and that MUST be so vindicative, he has no memories and was told again and again they were doing the good work and the quiet part is how dare you difficult that good work, seeing someone so hostile to that is vindication that yes! Something was fucking wrong! Even if he has no words to describe how wrong it is!

And Quackity is literally unable to say that something is wrong. He can complain to himself, but the Federation is always watching, and I think that he knows that. So seeing someone actually able to talk shit on Cucurucho and the Federation without getting fucking shot over it has to be insane to him. Hopeful in a way, even, because he knows that Cellbit is with the Federation, everybody says it. But Cellbit doesn't say it, and that's what might stick out to Quackity the most. Cellbit managed to get out.

[rain-is-cool]

4, 10, 11, 13 :)

HIIIIIIII THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!!

4. god this is hard ok i have to go with Bobby and Richas I think cause I absolutely loved them back when bobby was alive (also i am 100% biased as a jaiden main)

10. q!JAIDENNNNNNN dead or alive she will ALWAYS be my favorite cubitio, i can’t help it 😭😭😭

11. this one is also so hard 😭😭😭 i don’t rly know but id have to say the cucorucho jaiden arc (the one right after bobby died) and the entire teaduo storyline!!! (does that count as an arc?)

13. HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE THEIR ALL SO GOOD 😭😭😭😭

i’d have to say the ones that stick out in my mind are Jaiden, Cellbit, Roier, Bagi, and Phil BUT some other people who i think are ABSOLUTELY worth mentioning are Fit, Tina, Baghera, and Bad THEY ALL HAVE SUCH GREAT LORE!!!!

and that’s it!!!

thanks again for the questions!! :]

[juulded]

Now holding to my hope that q!cellbit is not dead, I hope that when roier sees him again he PUNCHES HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE BECAUSE THAT SHIT WAS SO FUCKING SLEFISH HOW DARE YOU IDGAF ABOYT YOUR MARTYR BULLSHIT YOU PIECE OF SHIT COME HERE I LOVE YOU PLEASE DONT BE DEAD CELLBIT CUBITO WHYYYYYY NO TE TOCABA WHY YOU GOTTAA BE SO EMO AND ANGSTY AND DOOMER BRO LEAVING YOUR HUSBAND AS A FUCKING WIDOW IS SO NOT COOL PENDEJO

[dez-wade]

This fandom is becoming insufferable because some fans of certain ccs can not handle anyone having a slightly negative opinions of their character or story.

Sorry if this upsets anyone but it's so obvious with BBH and Roier fans rn (which is so funny because those two fan bases are ripping into each other atm on twitter hmmm...) Fans of these ccs and characters need to understand thAT MULTIPLE things can be true at once. q!roier can be going through an extremely emotionally distressing time and not trust the new eggs/want to open himself up to being hurt again leaving him unsure of how to navigate this situation AND be neglecting/abusive towards Pepito. Just like q!BBH can be suffering with some awful side effects from the nuclear blast AND be held accountable for things by other islanders that they are upset or hurt by. Nuanced conversations about stories and characters are fun and interesting, it's so boring to see people just blindly defend characters all the time.

Also people are allowed to just straight up not like a character lmao like nobody is obliged to love a character just because you personally do. There's characters in the QSMP that I adore that i've seen people mischaracterise or talk about disliking and I'm like "awh that's a bummer I guess but oh well" and just get on with posting about them. It's such a waste of your time and energy to feel the need to excuse every action of a character you like anytime someone expressed a dislike towards something they've said or done JUST LET PEOPLE HAVE THEIR OPINIONS.

Yeah, I agree with you. It's very annoying, which is why my approach now is just don't bother with these characters. No matter which gray direction they go, no one will treat as such, the fans I mean, and if some character do, they're crucified.

That's why I feel so bad for Bagi, because every time she dares to give an opinion about Roier or Cellbit, no matter how sensible and true that opinion is, she gets a wave of hate immediately. They twist everything she says. ccBagi should do the RP she wants, but I can't help but think it was an awful decision to get involved with these two, who are easily the most popular characters. Because she can't win ever, even if she's doing everything for them. It's also the reason I'm refraining to go any further in that Roier and Pepito topic, if it was about another character maybe I'd be interested to discuss, but I know better lol

Did you know some Roier's fans hate Pomme to this day because she asked Cellbit why he was putting mines everywhere since she was worried about her siblings' lives?

Sadly some characters are simply "untouchable" if comparable to others. X character can do the same very action that Z character did, but it will be perceived wildly differently by the fandom.

Tumblr can be annoying too sometimes, but it's quite chill compared to everywhere else. Which is why I bother to discuss or give my opinion here, but I still don't want to get a headache discussing the morality of the actions from popular characters.

[anonymous-dentist]

Contrary to popular belief, Pepito’s hero isn’t Spider-Man. It’s Apa Roier. When Spider-Man was gone, Apa Roier was there to give Pepito a home and a bed and a popcorn toy to chase away his nightmares and a pair of glasses because it turns out that Pepito isn’t blind, actually, Pepito is just sort of blind!

So the second the bus stops, Pepito is scrambling out of Morbius’ arms and trying to jump off the top of the bus to get to Pepito’s dad.

“Spider-Man!” he cries. (He wants to call for his dad, but Pepito is a Brave Pepito and a Smart Pepito and Pepito knows that Spider-Man is a secret.)

As soon as the bus’ doors open, everybody on board runs out. The driver first, then everybody else, but Pepito doesn’t care about them! What about Apa Celbi?

“Whoah, hold on there,” Morbius says. He scoops Pepito back up easily. “Let’s go down safely, how about that?”

He’s a vampire (sorta), so he’s okay when he jumps off the top of the bus. He drops Pepito safely onto the ground by Spider-Man’s body, and then he clicks his tongue and disappears into the crowd. (What a mean, mean man.)

Pepito kneels next to Spider-Man and shakes his arm frantically, sobbing pathetically. That’s his dad!!!

Spider-Man looks dead. His suit is all ripped- but at least his mask is fine- and it’s all dirty and his gloves are completely gone and his hands are burned from his webs. But he’s breathing! He has to be!

And then Pepito hears a coughing. Not from Spider-Man, but from behind Pepito.

Pepito turns around to see Apa Celbi limping off the bus with one of his arms wrapped around the shoulders of a very tall woman.

Apa Celbi sees Pepito, and he immediately breaks away from the woman and staggers to Pepito’s side. He drops to his knees with an audible groan of pain, but he doesn’t seem to care. He pulls Pepito into a tight hug, hiding his face and crying.

“You’re okay,” he murmurs.

Pepito nods, hugging his dad back. “Spider-Man saved me.”

“He’s so cool, isn’t he?”

“He said you jumped out a window.”

Apa Celbi tenses. “He said what.”

Pepito nods again. “And now you’re gonna get divorced, but first he needs to wake up because he might be dead.”

“Divorced- what? Hold on.”

Apa Celbi lets go of Pepito and shuffles towards Spider-Man’s head. He takes it in his hands, his thumbs gently stroking the fabric beneath Spider-Man’s eyeholes.

And then he slaps the shit out of him.

“I know you’re awake, asshole!” Apa Celbi snaps.

To Pepito’s surprise, Spider-Man groans and sits up, his eyeholes narrowing annoyedly.

“Oh, yeah?” he challenges. “Shut the fuck up! I’m angry at you!”

And then he lays back down.

Apa Celbi rolls his eyes and lies down next to him.

“I saved your life! Don’t get angry at me for that, I’d do it again.”

“You broke my window!”

“That’s why you’re angry?!”

“No!” Spider-Man sits up just enough to smack Apa Celbi in the chest. “I thought you were dead!”

“I didn’t mean to get blown up-”

“Fuck you!”

Pepito’s eyes widen comically as Spider-Man pulls up his mask just enough for his mouth to be free. His secret identi- oh. Oh, they’re kissing. Yuck.

Pepito covers his eyes and scoots so he’s turned away. Pepito’s dads may be married, but he doesn’t need to see them be married!

Apa Celbi gasps for air. “I told you I’d pay for the window.”

“Six months!” Apa Roier snaps. “I’m gonna put you back in a coma, shut the fuck up!”

Pepito chances a look over, sees them kissing again, and turns away again. Ew!!

[When Roier gets home with Cellbit and Pepito, the first thing he does is shower. And then he helps Cellbit shower, because the dumbass broke all his bones again during his attempted rescue. Then he helps Pepito shower, and he answers every single question Pepito asks him… except the ones about the divorce.

Then, once he’s all nice and clean and exhausted, Roier collapses into bed and snuggles up with his idiot boyfriend and checks Twitter, and he sees that Spider-Man is trending, but not for the daring bus rescue.

No.

#SpiderManGay is number one on Quesadilla City’s trending tab.

Roier laughs so hard he drops his phone onto poor Cellbit’s head.

Pepito, unnoticed in the doorway, smiles.

He did it. He finally got his Apa Roier to smile.]

The End.

AU in which all Pepito wants is for Pepito’s dad to start smiling again. Pepito knows that Apa Roier is a HUGE fan of Spider-Man, aka Quesadilla City’s most popular superhero, but he’s been real sad since Spider-Man stopped hero-ing a couple months ago when his rival and WORST ENEMY Black Cat disappeared. And Pepito just wants Roier to be happy, so Pepito’s just gotta find Spider-Man and make him a hero again! (And maybe Pepito can get his autograph, because Spider-Man is Pepito’s favorite hero too!!!)

[An au in which Roier retires as a hero when the man he was working up the nerve to ask out vanished into thin air in a factory explosion after a fight gone wrong. He never even got to find out Black Cat’s name, and now he never will…]

[And, an au in which Cellbit has been stuck in the hospital for months in a coma, and all he’s been dreaming of is the masked hero he’s in love with.]