#pyewacket chapter 3

[bromfieldhall]

PYEWACKET - Chapter 3 (A Polin Fanfic)

Read it from the beginning on AO3 or here

Chapter 4

Penelope is in love with Colin.

Colin is in love with Penelope.

Both think that their love is unrequited and don't want to act upon their feelings in case it ruins their friendship.

Enter, Pyewacket...

My submission for Polinween Week 2 - 'What's a Little Fur Between Friends'

Pairing: Colin/Penelope

Rating: Teen and Up

Bridgerton Modern AU

Chapter 3 - Broom Fell...

Penelope yanked the scrunchie band out of her hair and watched her curls tumble down her shoulders in an unruly mess. She ran her hands through the springy strands a few times, trying her best to tame them into some sort of a presentable style before letting out a frustrated groan and giving up.

“What are you even doing?” she muttered to herself in annoyance. 

Gathering her hair up once more, she took the scrunchie and bound her red curls into a high ponytail. Some shorter tendrils fell out framing her face and she pushed them back behind her ears, out of the way.

She looked at herself critically in the mirror and pursed her lips at what she saw. It would have to do. She didn’t want to appear as though she’d made too much of an effort. She looked casual, didn’t she? Laid back. Absolutely fine for sorting out boxes of decorations. Just a boring old jumper and leggings.

Nothing that would make Colin suddenly wake up and realise what he’d been missing all these years.

In truth, she didn't think she owned any piece of clothing by which that miracle might happen.

Turning away, she took a couple of steps towards the bathroom door then paused for a moment and spun back around.

A little lip gloss wouldn’t hurt though, would it?

She quickly put some on and added a touch of mascara – because lip gloss would look odd on its own, right?

Finally happy…well, satisfied at least, she left her bathroom and headed downstairs to wait for her visitors to arrive.

Colin had already messaged her that he and Eloise were on their way with coffees and treats as promised.

She gave Pye his food then busied herself around the house. Plumping the cushions on her couch, getting some plates out for breakfast, slightly adjusting ornaments on the mantlepiece, back to plumping cushions again.

She was full of nervous anticipation. It was same every time she first saw Colin after he’d been away. Anytime she saw him really, if she were completely honest with herself.

The doorbell rung and even though she was expecting it, she still jumped a little. She hurried to the door, flung it open wide and there he stood, carrying a cup holder of coffees, in all his gorgeous, smiling glory.

“Hi,” she greeted with a grin.

His gaze flicked down her body then back up again to meet her eyes, smile growing wider.

“Hi,” he replied.

They simply stared at each other, the moment stretching out slightly longer than could be considered normal until Eloise popped her head between them, tired of being ignored.

“Hello! Shall we eat? I’m starving,” she said, holding up a paper bag in front of Penelope’s face.

The red head blinked as she focussed on her friend and then quickly gathered her wits enough to nod. “Oh, yes, of course. Come on in.”

She stepped back so that they could walk past her, then closed the door and followed them into the kitchen. Colin placed the coffee’s down on the small dining table then shrugged out of his coat and placed it on the back of a chair. Eloise, on the other hand, was far too hungry to do anything other than grab a plate and start unpacking the pastries.

There were a lot.

Colin must have noticed her incredulous expression because he gave her a sheepish look and shrugged.

“I’m a growing lad,” he joked, patting his stomach.

Her gaze was drawn to the gesture and then it slowly drifted up. The white t-shirt he wore pulled slightly over his broad chest and showed off his toned arms and tanned skin to perfection.

By the time she reached his face, he was sporting a soft smile and a slightly questioning look. Belatedly she realised that he’d been expecting some kind of quip back, but for the life of her, she couldn’t think of anything – except how she really wanted to run her hands all over his chest, preferably under his top. She wondered, briefly, if she should just tell him that. Blow up their friendship and see what pieces were left to sift through.

She didn’t though. Of course she didn’t. Years of her mother’s criticisms of her looks and weight automatically coming to fore, she opted for self-depreciation instead. It also helped to remind herself that she’d never, in a million years, be able capture the romantic affection of a man like Colin Bridgerton.

“I don’t know where you put it all,” she finally commented with a shake of her head, “You’re lucky, I only have to look at a pastry and I put on ten pounds. Takes me an extra half an hour down the gym for weeks to work it all off.”

It was meant as a joke but it apparently fell flat with the Bridgerton siblings. She should have realised that they’d always stick up for her – even if it was against herself.

“Penelope! Stop it,” Eloise immediately objected, sounding aghast.

The red head gave an awkward little laugh and went to move past Colin, but he reached out and gently took hold of her hand, stopping her. She stared up at him in surprise and saw that he was frowning.

“El is right, Pen. I wish you wouldn’t say such things about yourself,” he admonished lightly. He ran an appreciative glance down her body then met her gaze again. “I think you look great - beautiful, in fact.”

Oh.

As before, when he’d texted the same, she wasn’t quite sure how to react to his compliment. He was just being his usual kind self of course, but, God, her heart couldn’t help but react to the tender smile he was now giving her.

“When you two have quite finished mooning at each other, there’s food here that still needs to be eaten,” Eloise announced loudly, breaking into the moment.

Colin’s mouth tightened at his sister’s comment and he shot her an annoyed look. “We’re not mooning,” he muttered grumpily as he reluctantly let go of Penelope’s hand.

Eloise let out a derisive snort and looked about to say something else but catching the warning glance he gave her, she grabbed another croissant instead.

Christ. The last thing he needed was his sister sticking her nose in where it wasn’t wanted. He was still trying to gauge Penelope’s reaction after he called her beautiful. She’d seemed okay with it, hadn’t she? She certainly hadn’t looked at him as if he’d grown another head or something, so that was a good sign at least.

He picked up the plate of pastries and offered them to Penelope. She chose a chocolate twist then gave him a quick smile and a nod of thanks.

He smiled back then placed one of the coffees in front of her as well, earning another appreciative grin that warmed his insides. Taking a chocolate twist for himself as well, he popped off the lid of his own coffee to allow the hot drink to cool a little and sat down opposite her at the small table.

“So, have you got everything you want for the party?” Eloise asked as she munched her way through her second croissant. 

“Pretty much, I think. I just want to get everything out and see where to put it or if I need anything else,” Penelope replied before biting into her own pastry. “God, where did you get this? It’s so good.”

“New place just opened up near me called Danbury’s. We should go and sit in one day. The cakes look amazing,” Elosie told her.

Penelope nodded and took another bite then let out a low groan of appreciation. 

Feeling his body respond to the sound, Colin automatically glanced over at her then did a double take when he saw a little dab of chocolate sitting at the corner of her mouth.

“Babes, you’ve got a little something there,” said Eloise, gesturing to her own face.

Penelope mumbled a thanks and Colin watched in fascination as she opened her mouth slightly and ran her tongue along her full, pink bottom lip and into the corner to lick off the sauce.

Unconsciously, his own lips pressed together as his mind flew back to Christmas day, ten months earlier. Bridgerton House. Penelope had come over to spend the evening with his family as she did every year. Drinks had flowed, good cheer was had and then it’d been their turn to fetch more beer and wine from the kitchen.

They’d been laughing about something together as they’d headed towards the kitchen when he’d spotted some mistletoe hanging over the door and had stopped underneath. She’d given him a puzzled look and he’d gestured above them with a grin.

It had become a tradition between them over the years. A quick kiss on the cheek, then carry on.

It had been different this time though.

Many months before, Colin had come to the realisation that somewhere along the line, what he felt for Penelope wasn’t merely friendship any longer. Maybe it never had been. Maybe he’d just been too stupidly blind to see it.

So, when Penelope had started to move, he’d reached up and cupped her cheek instead, searching her face for permission. Her eyes and widened slightly and then she’d given him the merest of nods before he leaned down to touch his lips to hers.

That first kiss had been for the mistletoe, but the second kiss…the second had been for them.

Slow and tender and absolutely mind blowing, it had merely confirmed what he’d already known deep down. That he was head over heels in love with his friend and he was never going to kiss anyone other than Penelope Featherington ever again.

It had been a shock then, that just as the kiss had begun to deepen, Eloise had yelled out from the lounge, asking what was taking them so long and Penelope had pulled away from him almost immediately.

She’d been completely flustered and had quickly grabbed a couple of bottles of wine from the kitchen before walking past him back to the rest of his family. And she’d done it all without meeting his gaze once.

Fearing he had ruined things between them completely, he’d soon realised that it was, in fact, worse. She’d simply refused to acknowledge anything had happened at all and he’d, reluctantly, been forced to do the same. 

It hadn’t been long after that that she’d started seeing Debling proving, in his mind, that he was alone in his feelings. And, so, he’d concocted the idea for another book and left. Better that, then stay and watch her with someone else.

“Did I get it all?”

Colin blinked as Penelope’s voice brought him back to the present with a slight jolt. The silence stretched out and when he finally managed to drag his gaze from her mouth, he realised it was because she was looking at him.

He swallowed heavily, his own tongue darting out to moisten his suddenly dry lips as he sought to come up with a coherent response.

“Uh-huh.”

Then, as the embarrassment of being caught staring at her suddenly washed over him, he reached out and grabbed his coffee and took a long drink.

Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot hot!

Eyes watering and mouth on fire, his face reddened as he gamely swallowed the burning liquid down before launching into a coughing fit and slapping a hand over his mouth.

Bloody hell.

“I’ll get you some water,” Penelope told him urgently.

She hurried over to the sink and Colin felt a sharp kick to his shin. He gave his sister an angry look and desperately tried to catch his breath, the added pain not helping.

‘You prat,’ she mouthed at him with an unsympathetic grin and shake of her head.

“Here, drink this.”

A glass of water was thrust in front of his face and he sputtered a couple more times before taking it and having a long swig.

“Thanks,” he finally managed to rasp.

“Do you want some more?” she asked when he finished the glass.

He managed a smile and shook his head.

“No, I’m good,” he assured her, his voice still a little croaky.

She stared at him in concern a moment more then patted him on the arm and went and sat back down.

It was a nothing touch, but his skin still tingled pleasantly in the aftermath all the same. And as much as his tongue now felt too big in his mouth and he was pretty certain he wouldn’t be able to taste anything for the next decade, at least the whole incident had calmed his momentary ardour.

Turning his attention to his breakfast, he forced down the twist and even a croissant. It was painful, but he was starving. Resolutely ignoring the amused glances his sister kept giving him, he sipped gingerly at his coffee and smiled reassuringly at Penelope whenever she sent him a sympathetic look.

He was relieved when they finally all finished eating and he helped clear everything away ready to get started on sorting out the decorations.

Penelope had various boxes of stuff she’d bought in her spare room. She had some older bits in her loft and some delicate pieces that she’d placed in her utility room next to the kitchen.

“I think I may have got a bit carried away,” Penelope declared sometime later as she surveyed the boxes piled up in her kitchen.  

“Yeah, it’s safe to say that you don’t need to buy anything else,” Eloise agreed eyeing everything in disbelief. She picked up a witch’s broom and then another one. “How many of these have you got exactly?”

“Thirty,” she muttered, looking mortified.

“Thirty,” Eloise echoed incredulously.

“I only wanted three but I accidentally added a zero,” she admitted with a grimace, “and then I was too embarrassed to send them all back.”

Colin let out a huff of laughter which in turn set off the other two at the ridiculousness of it.

“I’m sure we can think of something to with them,” he said, twirling one around in his hand. “Maybe hang a few in the garden and out the front.”

Penelope nodded in agreement then glanced at her watch.

“Tea break first, though, I think.”

“I’ll make it,” Colin offered as he was nearest to the kettle.

And, quite frankly, he needed something to distract him after the last hour and a half he’d just had. Shifting a few boxes shouldn’t be that difficult, but with Penelope it had proved torturous.

Every time she’d bent over, whether it be to pick up a box or check what was in it, he’d been blessed with a sight that he’d found increasingly hard to look away from. It was either her perfectly rounded backside in black leggings that clung lovingly to every curve of her shapely legs, or it was a tantalising view of her amazing breasts that were modestly covered by a light blue v-neck jumper and really brought out the colour of her eyes. And don’t even get him started on the way her curls had bounced around with every movement. That high ponytail she was sporting might be practical for her, but it was sexy as hell for him.

He flicked the switch on then busied himself getting mugs out of the cupboard and dropped a teabag in each one as he waited for the kettle to boil. Leaning against the sink, he pulled out his phone and started checking through his messages as a loud clacking noise sounded to his left. He looked up just as a large black cat jumped up onto the kitchen side next to him and simply stared.

Colin had always found it slightly unnerving whenever Pye had done that over Facetime but now, to bear the full force of those emerald, green eyes boring into him in the flesh, it was quite…intimidating.

“How many times have I told you? Not on the kitchen counter, Pye,” Penelope scolded lightly as she walked over and picked him up. “He’s a little devil,” she added, putting him down on the floor.

Colin could quite well believe it. There was something very disconcerting about that animal that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He watched the cat saunter off and jump onto one of the boxes then sit down and begin to groom himself.

The kettle boiled, drawing his attention away and he put his phone down on the counter before making them all a tea.

“Shall we sit in the lounge?” Eloise suggested, looking around at the chaos in the kitchen.

“I’ll get the biscuit tin,” Penelope decided much to Colin’s delight.

They headed into the other room and Eloise made a beeline for the lone armchair, leaving the settee for Penelope and Colin.  They sat down next to each other and it was then that Colin noticed that Pye had followed behind them.

The cat eyed him for a moment and Colin tensed. Recalling Benedict’s words the night before, he slowly moved his hand to cover his groin, not at all liking the way Pye continued to stare at him.

Not that he believed in any of the nonsense his siblings had filled his head with, of course – but it didn’t hurt to be prepared. Just in case.

“He can take a little while to warm up to people,” Penelope told him ruefully.

Colin nodded. “I’ve heard,” he muttered wryly.

Eloise gave a snort of laughter and he shot her a withering glance before jolting suddenly, spilling some of his tea, as Pye jumped unexpectedly onto his lap.

No claws. No scratching. No mice from what he could see and definitely no bodily functions. Just a low purr and then he settled down like he’d known him for years.

After a moment Colin relaxed and began to stroke the cat’s soft fur. The purring intensified. This was good. Pye liked him it seemed. Not like those other men, which only went to prove that all that talk was complete rubbish because if that cat had any weird superpowers, he would’ve known Colin’s true feelings and decimated him on the spot.

He glanced over at his sister with a smug smile and wasn’t completely surprised to see her looking disappointed. She’d been expecting something spectacular to happen to him, he was sure.

“Looks like the old Bridgerton charm has worked again,” Penelope commented from his side snippily.

Now that surprised him. He turned his head and looked at her curiously. From her tone, she seemed…annoyed? Fed up? Pissed off?

That was odd.

It hit him then that his brother and sister had likely filled Penelope’s head with all that crap about Pye, much like they had him.

And she was unhappy.

Huh.

Unhappy because Pye had sat on him? Unhappy because Pye hadn’t gouged his eyes out – or worse?

Unhappy…dare he hope, because she thought it meant that he wasn’t interested in her?

A slow smile spread across his face as he continued to look at her and noticed the faintly accusing glances she kept giving her cat.

Could this be the sign he’d been looking for? The something that indicated she wasn’t as unaffected by him as she seemed to let on?

And if so, didn’t it follow that, perhaps, their kiss at Christmas had meant something to her as well?

And not, as he’d supposed, been something that she’d wished had never happened because she didn’t see him as anything other than a friend? Or that he’d come uncomfortably close to stepping over a line that she’d never wanted to cross?

He felt Pye move and watched as the feline stood and arched his back. Stretching out his front paws, his claws came out momentarily but retracted quickly and then he jumped off and walked away.

Colin looked back at Penelope and saw a brief flicker of hope that had lighted her eyes fade away, once more, to disappointment.

His smile widened. He couldn’t help it. He was right. He was almost certain of it.

She suddenly leaned forward and grabbed the biscuit tin from the table then took the lid off and shoved it under his nose.

“Biscuit?” she snapped, not quite meeting his eye.

Oh, yeah, he was so right.

“You know me, Pen, I never say no,” he uttered glibly and picked out a custard cream.

“Yeah, so people tell me,” she muttered under her breath, causing him to bite back a laugh.

She offered the tin to Eloise, who shook her head.

“I’m going to pop outside for a quick ciggie and give Phillip a call.”

She got up and gave a Colin a brief meaningful glance before smiling nonchalantly at her friend then left them alone.

Silence descended and Penelope glanced over at Colin before taking a large gulp of her tea and standing up abruptly herself.

“I’d better get the last bits from the utility room,” she announced and quickly turned away.

Colin put his tea down on the table and immediately stood as well.

“I’ll help you,” he offered, following after her.

“No need, I can manage,” she rebuffed lightly, not breaking her stride.

“But you said that there were some bits higher up that you couldn’t reach without a stool,” he reminded her. “I can get those for you.”

She had? Penelope paused to put her mug down on the kitchen side and groaned internally. She had said that, damn it.

She turned to look at him and forced a smile.

“Fine.”

The pleased grin he gave her back made her heart skip and she cursed whatever powers that be that she was destined to love this man who didn’t love her back. The least they could have done was make him a complete arsehole or something. Maybe then she’d be glad that he wasn’t interested and be able to finally get on with her life.

She headed to the utility room and moved a few of the many witch’s brooms that littered the place, from the doorway. Propping them up out of the way against the wall nearby, they then went in.

From his vantage point atop a nearby box, Pyewacket watched the door click shut behind the two humans and jumped down. He sauntered over to the brooms and eyed first them and then the door in contemplation.

He had an idea…

Inside the room, Penelope glanced around until she spied what she was looking for.

“There’s a couple of tubs up on the top shelf that I need…oh!”

She turned around and came face to face with his chest. Drawing in a sharp breath at his nearness, she tilted her head back and found him gazing down at her with a soft smile. She exhaled slowly, her heart picking up speed in her chest. The last time they’d been this close was at Christmas. He’d been looking at her the same way then as well.

Right before they’d…

“Which ones?”

She blinked.

“What?”

Colin gestured to the shelf with his thumb.

“Which ones do you want me to get down?”

She blinked again and it was enough for her to look away and take a step back from him.

“Oh, uh, those two on the right,” she replied and moved to the side to let him go past.

She watched as he reached up, his arms flexing as he grabbed the first tub and lowered it carefully to the floor. When he reached up for the second one, her gaze roamed lower over his broad chest and down to where his t-shirt rode up a little, giving her a glimpse of his tanned stomach. From there it was only natural that her eyes carried on southwards. His waist was surprisingly trim and his backside looked…really, really good in those jeans.

“Pen?”

“Hmmm?” she answered distractedly. When he didn’t say anything, she looked up and found him grinning unabashedly at her before slowly turning and placing the second tub on top of the first.

“I asked if this was everything?”

It wasn’t. There was one more tub on another shelf. But, she could feel her face beginning to warm with the knowledge that he’d caught her staring blatantly at his arse and all she wanted to do was make her escape with what little dignity she had left.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t to be the case when a loud crash followed by several bangs on the door startled them both.

“What was that?” Penelope gasped. She hurried over to the door and tried the handle, but it wouldn’t budge. She tried it again. Then again and after the fourth try she let out a frustrated cry. “I can’t get it open.”

“Let me have a go,” Colin offered as he walked over and grabbed hold of the handle.

“Colin, I’m more than capable of opening a stupid door,” she groused, irately.

He rattled it a couple of times and gave it a tug and although the handle did move slightly, he had no better luck than Penelope.

“It’s stuck.”

Penelope crossed her arms and gave him a withering look.

“Really? I would never have guessed.”

He turned to look at her and grinned.

“Good job I’m here then, isn’t it?” he joked with a chuckle.

She felt her own mirth begin to rise in response and soon laughed as well.

“I’m guessing that crash is whatever is blocking the door,” she commented with a sigh. Then an idea struck and she went to get her phone out of her pocket, but realised she didn’t have any in her leggings. “Have you got your phone? You could call Eloise and let her know what’s happened.”

Colin nodded and felt around in his back pocket only to come up empty. He let out a groan.

“I’ve left it on the kitchen side,” he muttered apologetically. “Don’t worry, she can’t be that much longer.”

“She called Phillip, she could be hours,” Penelope declared wryly.

Colin turned and leaned back against the door with a sigh. He looked at her for a moment then gave a little nod as if deciding upon something.

“Looks like we’ll have to wait then. So, what do you want to do?”

“Do?” she repeated with a frown. She walked into the middle of the small room and gestured about her. “Not sure there’s much we can do in here.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” he countered as he glanced around the room. There was a sink at the back and shelves lining the walls on each side. Organised as ever, on the left there were tubs that were used for storage and on the right were non perishable’s that she’d likely bought in bulk. Taking everything in, his gaze landed on her again. “We could sort through the decorations or grab a snack or even…talk?”

The last held a hint of a question that suggested he wanted to do that more than anything else. She couldn’t imagine why though. They’d been chatting all morning.

“Talk?” she echoed in bewilderment. “About what?”

Again, he shrugged, then pushed himself away from the door and walked slowly towards her. He stopped short a little distance away and pushed his hands even further down into his pockets in what felt, to her, like a nervous gesture.

“The weather? The price of eggs?” He took a small step forward, his lips pulling up into an uncertain smile as he added hopefully, “Us?”

Penelope stared back at him, eyes wide. Internally she shook her head. No. Don’t go there. Whatever it is he wants to say, you won’t want to hear it. So what if he’d made it sound like he meant something more? He didn’t, she knew that.  Clearly, she’d overstepped somehow and he was going to give her one of his God awful speeches where he reminded her yet again of what great ‘friends’ they were.

The weather. That was safe. For the love of God, choose the weather, her mind begged.

“Us?” She burst out, unable to stop herself. “There is no ‘us’, Colin.”

Oh, for heaven’s sake…

“Of course there is, Pen,” he rebuked with a light scoff, looking at her as if she were quite mad. “One way or another, it’s always been us.”

The way he said it with such ease, such certainty had her mouth dropping open in shock.

“What?” she breathed, trying to grasp what he was saying.

He stared at her a moment, his gaze tender, then pulled his hands from his pockets and took hold of hers in a light grip.

“Pen, we’ve never talked about what happened last Christmas.”

“Because nothing did happen last Christmas,” she dismissed.

She really didn’t want to go there. Not now. Not ever.

“We both know that’s not true,” he insisted, much to her chagrin. “That kiss…”

“Was just because we were under the mistletoe,” she interjected quickly, feeling the need to shut the whole conversation down.

It didn’t work.

“Maybe the first one was, but…”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” she cut him off again rather desperately. If he wasn’t going to leave it, then she might as well own it and then they could both just move on. “I’m sorry, Colin, I didn’t mean to kiss you again. I know I put you on the spot and you can blame it on the drink or me not having been kissed in while, but the truth is that I liked it and I wasn’t thinking and, of course, you’re so nice that you just went with it and I should really be thanking you because I know it didn’t mean anything to you…”

She trailed off and looked down. Her cheeks were burning. She’d just heartily embarrassed the both of them and he must be mortified at her rambling. She felt him give her hands a light squeeze, demanding her attention. Reluctantly, she looked up, but instead of seeing any discomfort at her admission, he looked like he’d just won the lottery.

“The best kiss of my life and you want to thank me? I should be thanking you.”

Penelope wasn’t quite sure that she’d heard him right.

“You…I…what?”

He moved a little closer and opened his mouth to speak but it wasn’t his voice that rang out.

“Penelope?”

Colin tensed and closed his eyes in dismay. Of course his sister would interrupt right at that moment.

“Colin?” Eloise called louder this time, “Where are you?”

“In here!” Penelope shouted. His eyes shot open as he felt her pull her hands from his hold and then watched her walk swiftly over to the door. She banged on it a couple of times so that her friend knew for certain where they were. “Something seems to have blocked the door and we can’t get out.”

“I’ll say,” Eloise chuckled. “A couple of the brooms have fallen and somehow got themselves wedged around the door handle. Hold on. Pye, shoo! I said shoo!”

Colin stood and stared at Penelope in frustrated silence. She hadn’t been able to get away from him quick enough. Again. He just wished he knew why. Had he scared her off with what he’d said? Did she just need some time? After all, he hadn’t seen what was right in front of him for years, so maybe she didn’t yet either. He winced slightly. He had just blindsided the poor woman, what did he expect? An admission of everlasting love or something?

“Pen?”

She turned at her name and looked at him. He couldn’t quite read her expression and he felt his stomach drop at that notion. The sound of the door rattling as Eloise worked to get the brooms free echoed around the room and suddenly Penelope took a step towards him.

“Colin, I…” she began tentatively.

A cry of triumph from outside stopped her as the door swung open and Eloise stepped in grinning widely at them both.

“You’re free!”

Colin shot her an exasperated look, feeling so aggrieved at the interruption that he almost shouted at her to go back out and block up the door again.

Penelope sported a similarly irritated expression, but she covered it far better than him as she turned to her friend with a small smile.

“Thanks, El.”

Eloise glanced between the two of them belatedly becoming aware of the tension that seemed to buzz in the air around them.

“Yeah, thanks,” Colin muttered brusquely as he turned around and picked up the two tubs of decorations.

When he turned back, Penelope had gone, leaving him alone with his sister.

“Sorry,” she muttered quietly as he walked past her.

Colin merely nodded in response and headed out into the kitchen where he put the tubs down with the others. He stared at her across the room and saw that she wasn’t avoiding his gaze at least, thank God.

“Right, let’s crack on and get this stuff up,” Eloise suddenly declared behind him, her voice far too bright. “Where do you want us to start?”

The red head looked at the chaos that was her kitchen and let out a sigh.

“I think just grab a tub and go from there.”

They did as she suggested and Colin spent the next couple of hours being charm personified. He chatted, cracked jokes and if he brushed her arm once or twice, it was purely a coincidence. As was any lingering touch of her hand when he took a decoration from her that she wanted placed somewhere out of her reach.

By the time they’d finished, the place looked ready for Halloween and the party in a couple of days.

And, to Colin’s relief, Penelope seemed to be at ease with him once more.

“We have to go,” Eloise said regretfully as she checked her watch. “Got dinner with mum.”

“Why don’t you come with us?” Colin asked, eager for an excuse to spend more time with her.

“Oh, no, I don’t want to intrude,” she refused lightly.

“You wouldn’t be,” Eloise assured her. “You know mum always loves to see you.”

“Of course she does,” Colin agreed, giving her a bright smile.

Penelope resolutely shook her head and his smile faded.

“No, thank you, but I’m sure she’s looking forward to having some quality time with you after being away for so long,” she countered softly. “And I have a few last edits to do before my final submission tomorrow.”

Colin felt a pang of disappointment, but didn’t push. They needed to talk, he knew that, but he could wait. He’d been waiting for months now, so a little while longer wouldn’t hurt.

Not too much anyway.

They got their coats and Penelope walked them to the door. Eloise gave her a quick hug and told her they’d ‘speak soon’ then headed off to her car.

When she turned to him, Colin hesitated a moment, unsure whether he should hug her too. Thankfully, she took the decision from him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He immediately brought his arms around her in a tight embrace and sighed when she relaxed against him.

This felt good. Right.

“Thanks for all your help,” she murmured into his chest.

“Anytime,” he replied and then the moment was over as she pulled away. He took a step back then reached into his coat inside pocket and pulled out a small, plainly wrapped packet. He offered it to her with a smile. “I almost forgot, this is for you.”

Penelope looked surprised. She took the gift and clutched it to her chest with a pleased smile.

“Oh! Thank you. You shouldn’t have.”

“Yes, I should,” he replied, then stepped closer again and took hold of her free hand.

He heard her draw in a sharp breath and when she gazed up at him, there was an uncertain, but hopeful look in her eyes as he leaned down into her space. Her tongue darted out and ran along her full, bottom lip, briefly drawing his gaze and then his eyes met hers once more.

He wanted to kiss her. Badly. But this wasn’t the time. Not yet. They needed to be on the same page and he didn’t think she was quite there. He didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings between them if…when they got together. And they would be, he was sure of it. Just as soon as she realised her feelings for him, as he had for her. 

“Pen, l want you to know that you were wrong,” he finally uttered, shaking his head slightly.

She looked at him in confusion.

“Wrong? About what?”

“Our kiss,” he clarified, “You were wrong because it did mean something to me. It does. It always will.”

Her lips formed an ‘O’ at his words, but no noise came out as she simply stared back at him, her beautiful eyes wide.

His mouth quirked up into a gentle smile and, holding her gaze, he raised her hand to his lips and placed a soft kiss upon the back. He straightened up and ran his thumb over her knuckles in a tender caress then let her go. Walking backwards a couple of steps, he raised his hand to wave goodbye then turned and joined his sister in the car.

From his vantage point under a bush, Pyewacket watched the interaction between Penelope and Colin with a sense of satisfaction.

True, his plan of knocking the brooms down hadn’t quite gone to plan. Eloise had come back in sooner than he’d expected, unfortunately.

Humans always had been an unpredictable bunch.

Still, it wasn’t all for nothing it seemed. Not by the way Penelope was still standing in her doorway and staring after the car that had left minutes ago.

Unexpectedly, she was the one that needed the most work. He had thought it would be the other way around. It felt oddly good to know that he could still be surprised after all these years.

He sauntered forward and rubbed against her legs with a meow. It was enough to break her out of her trance and she looked down. He mewed again and she smiled.

“Time for dinner, is it?” she asked indulgently. “Come on then.”

She turned and went inside and he followed behind.

He still had a couple of days left yet. It was cutting it fine and he had thought that today would be more fruitful than it had been, but he wasn’t worried. This wasn’t his first time and it certainly wasn’t going to be his last. He still had decades of penance left to do before Danbury would finally allow him to rest.

That’s what happened when you cheated on a witch.

And now he was cursed to bring lovers together, not rip them apart.

And by All Hallow’s Eve that’s exactly what Penelope and Colin would be.

Together.

[skittidyne]

hi skitty!! im a huge fan of bbac forever and im sooo excited at the prospect of originale!! i was wondering if theres anything u can share about the story - just fun facts n shit, little tidbits if u will. im rereading the chapters u put up ages ago and it just made me so excited to eventually read it!!

aww, thank you anon! ;v; i'm also very excited (and nervous) to share originale with the world. but there's plenty i can share!

most nosebleeds are, very tragically, mostly only in backstory

the first book covers through to the dreamlands incident*

*with some major edits of the plot timeline prior to that...

there are two puns in the story, one of which is pulled from bbac itself ("wouldn't dream of it" in regard to the dreamlands). the other one is a stealth pun and i hope one day someone figures it out

the main cast are named after various horror creators (and characters), and i specifically gave yui's role to a lady called hayley west so she is, in fact, h. west reanimator

several beta readers have mentioned disliking a certain character and i am TICKLED by it, especially considering he was a fan fave in bbac

i do not have a title for the second book yet .__. but i have names for books 4 and 5

given that three of the main characters (vivienne, mark, and hayley) are weebs, i'll work a haikyuu reference or nine into it eventually, but not yet

shockingly i am not as in love with the kitsune role (now gumiho!) as i was with futakuchi. but i still enjoy writing fox spirits!

i have zero idea what to envision for covers

i have looked into hardcovers if i self-publish

it'll be around 400 pages (first book)

i have the shirt picked out i'll wear for when i make announcement pics for social media

instead of visions only toward the end we'll have shorter ones as interstitials between all the chapters for the series to hammer in that natalie is a stealth mc

i am undecided on whether to go romantic or platonic for two pairings that were full ships in bbac

i am GUTTED that i had to move one character's introduction and thus role into book 2 onward, because she's great and hilarious, and it's extra hilarious because we actually know her by two different roles in the book and i'm wondering at what point people will realize that. also she speaks like a valley girl twitch gamer. because she is one.

sam appears very much to be the fan favorite character so far. which is so valid he's such a good bean

i'm heavily considering moving up my deadline to publish to this summer ("skitty, it's may" yeah i know) so i can hopefully help finance a move

i very much want to write a creature compendium side book a la fantastic beasts and probably will eventually given that it's already partially written (the issue is illustrations...)

mirai (one of the tengu) turned out to be a stealth fave to write because they are SUCH a hot mess but also go :3! whenever their love interest is around

i'm writing mass effect fanfic now and i thank god every day i have so much practice writing weird-ass backward knees with the tengu for those aliens

the afanc is in book 2

there will be more than one old moon ball in the series because i am NOT writing on a half-year timeline ever again (did you guys know what my current mass effect novel has)

the jackalope's name is pyewacket

isaac will get his familiar way earlier than kenma did but it will still be midna and she will still look like this because that is vital to my wellbeing

sunshine remains sunshine because he's actually a multidimensional immortal cat, that's what the failed experiment did to him

my dad made the eventual hunting knife emil will have, because he's just extra like that. in the book it has a partial werewolf bone handle. i cannot legally state what the real counterpart handle is. but i'm also thinking about doing a giveaway way later in the series for it (because apparently it's legal to ship knives in the us! thanks america) because i like to be entrepreneurial and think about fun marketing things. it's also fun to think about "hey you like this book series? enter this giveaway! you can win A KNIFE"

(along that vein there are also keychain bottles of angel blood, demon blood, and luck...)

[noelmu]

WEEK(S) IN REVIEW 3/19/18 - 3/30/18

Baseball’s back, and here just a couple of days after Opening Day I’m already enjoying getting back into the rhythm of a long season, where games keep me company while I work -- sometimes all afternoon and even after midnight. It’s good timing, too, because my calendar’s been filling up quickly with assignments, due in large part to the way the entertainment year is increasingly starting in earnest in March and April, rather then after Memorial Day.

A lot of substantive pieces below, along with the usual array of reviews and listicles. Please click on anything you haven’t already read.

The A.V. Club Music Review: Jack White gets weird(er) on Boarding House Reach

The Los Angeles Times Movie Review: Triumph: The Untold Story Of Perry Wallace reveals barrier-breaking travails of basketball player in 1960s Movie Review: It may not be deep, but Attack Of The Southern Fried Zombies is bursting with regional flavor Movie Review: In Pyewacket, the demons between a mother and daughter might terrify more than the demon in the woods Movie Review: Caught effectively channels 1970s grindhouse horror Movie Review: God's Not Dead: A Light In Darkness counters stereotypes but remains programmatic New In Home Entertainment: Star Wars: The Last Jedi is a twisty, emotionally compelling chapter in the franchise

The New York Times 20 Family-Friendly Films on Netflix

Rolling Stone TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 12: Face Off TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 13: Over The Hilltop

The Verge The Last Jedi Blu-ray is a chance to reevaluate the film’s divisive casino subplot

The Week Why Grown-ish has been 2018's best new sitcom It's a beautiful day to talk about Mister Rogers

[thehorrorofnachosandhamantaschen]

Episode 163 - Horror Roundup, February 2020, Part 3

As roundup season draws to a close, we finish strong with our highest ratio of recommendations yet: Pyewacket, Psychomania, Lake Bodom, Underwater, Lake Mungo, Leviathan, Little Monsters, Deep Star 6, It Chapter 2, and Tammy and the T-Rex. We recommend more films than you can shake a stick at, if you’re very weak in the stick shaking game that is. Also, the secret Derek and JR project Grey Seas Are Dreaming Of My Death is now live!

Episode 163 - Horror Roundup, February 2020, Part 3

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[bromfieldhall]

PYEWACKET - Chapter 2 -

(A Polin Fanfic)

Read it from the beginning on AO3 or here

Go to Ch. 3

Penelope is in love with Colin.

Colin is in love with Penelope.

Both think that their love is unrequited and don't want to act upon their feelings in case it ruins their friendship.

Enter, Pyewacket...

My submission for Polinween Week 2 - 'What's a Little Fur Between Friends'

Pairing: Colin/Penelope

Rating: Teen and Up

Bridgerton Modern AU

Chapter 2 - Back Home

Colin dropped his suitcase and rucksack on the floor of his room then flopped face first onto the bed with an appreciative groan.

It was good to be back…but he was absolutely shattered.

He’d worked his backside off trying to pack in everything he’d needed for his book into a matter of weeks instead of months. His reward for such a feat was being able to return home four days before Penelope’s Halloween party.

He had hoped to return sooner, but there had been delays in travel due to bad weather and times he just couldn’t change his itinerary.

Still, he was here now and that’s all that mattered.

Without even taking his jacket off, he let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. A quick nap is all he needed…

The quick nap ended up being a few hours long. He woke up feeling rested, but starving.

Checking his phone, he realised it was much later than he’d thought and quickly got up. He had arranged to meet with Eloise and his brother, Benedict, at a local pub that evening and he was going to be late.

He quickly showered and changed then headed out. Walking briskly, it took him a little over fifteen minutes to get there and as soon as he entered the bar area, his siblings both waved at him from a table near the back.

“Brother! Thank you for gracing us with your presence,” Benedict jibed amicably as soon as he approached them.

“Don’t start,” Colin retorted good-naturedly. He gave his older brother a quick hug before turning to do the same with Eloise and then sat down. “Not until I’ve had something to eat at least.”

Benedict pushed a pint of Guinness towards him and grinned.

“Drink up, we’ve already ordered food. Got you the steak and kidney pie, it should be here soon.”

“Thank God,” he said meaningfully before taking a generous mouthful of his drink.

“And while we’re waiting, you can tell us what’s going on with you and Penelope,” Eloise piped up with a knowing smirk.

Colin choked a little on his drink and put his glass down with a thud, the black liquid sloshing up the sides.

“What do you mean?” he asked guardedly.

“Oh, come on, Colin, we’re not stupid,” his sister scoffed.

“That’s a matter of opinion,” he murmured dubiously.

Eloise ignored him and held her hand up as she started listing off all the reasons, tapping a different finger each time.

“You’ve been in contact with her every day…”

“Not every day…” he objected half-heartedly.

“You sent her that cat ornament that looks exactly like Pye…”

“That was a birthday present and pure coincidence,” he dismissed.

“I’m not talking about that one and you know it,” she told him.

Oh God.

“Well, she really liked the first one...” he mumbled and took another drink.

He wasn’t about to tell them that he’d also bought Penelope back yet another black cat trinket.

“And you’re home nearly two months early!” she concluded triumphantly.

“I’ve simply got all the information I needed for my book,” he pointed out trying to sound nonchalant even though he could feel a tell-tale heat begin to warm his cheeks.

He’d put that down to the alcohol if asked.

“When have you ever come home early, Colin?” Benedict questioned wryly, taking up the mantle of inquisitor. “Usually, you’re late or don’t even come back at all just because something else took your fancy.”

Colin frowned, feeling slightly annoyed at that interpretation.

“I…”

“No, he only stays away when Pen has a boyfriend,” Eloise interjected helpfully.

“Ah yes, that’s true,” Benedict agreed with a nod.

“No, it isn’t,” Colin protested, his frown deepening.

But it was – and he was starting to feel far from comfortable that they’d apparently noticed it as well. He didn’t want them ruining everything by hinting things like that to Penelope. He wanted to see her first before he made any kind of admission. Sending messages to each other and talking over the odd facetime call didn’t really help when he was trying to gauge if his feelings could be in any way reciprocated. If they were, then he’d happily announce his love for the world to hear – if they weren’t…well, his siblings clearly didn’t any need any further ammunition.

“You won’t mind that she’s on a date tonight then.”

Eloise’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he stared at her in surprise.

“I thought she was meeting with her editor this evening?”

“She is,” his sister clarified with a brief smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “For dinner at a swanky new restaurant in town. Very businesslike.”

Colin felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Put like that, it didn’t sound as though their meeting was purely about her new book and yet, Penelope hadn’t told him that it was anything more. He’d only spoken to her the day before – surely she would’ve said something?

“Penelope has no interest in Fife,” he asserted, more to appease himself than anything.

“She doesn’t,” Eloise agreed. He relaxed at that confirmation, then immediately tensed again when his sister added, “but he’s interested in her and he’s been pushing for more lately. So much so that she’s asked for a new editor once this book is finished.”

Colin was stunned, angry and upset in equal measure, each emotion warring to be expressed. Stunned that all this had been happening and he had no idea. Angry that Fife wasn’t taking no for an answer and ‘pushing’, whatever the hell that meant. And upset because he had spoken to her almost daily and she clearly hadn’t wanted to tell him – he’d believed they were closer than that.

It was the anger that eventually won out.

“What restaurant are they at?” he asked abruptly.

“It’s fine, Pen’s going to message me when she gets home,” Eloise told him, ignoring his question. “Any problems before then and she said she’ll call. It’s all under control, don’t worry.”

Don’t worry? Of course he was going to worry. He hated the thought that Penelope might be put in an impossible position by that arse.

“Ah, here’s our food,” Benedict observed, giving their waitress an appreciative smile as she placed plates down in front of them.

Colin picked up his knife and fork and stared at his pie, wondering where his appetite had gone. He’d been starving not five minutes previous and now his stomach felt like lead.

“Your food will get cold,” Eloise pointed out as he continued to sit there.

He looked at her blankly, his whole body seemingly a whirl of feelings that made his head spin – and then Benedict decided to add confusion into the already unsettling mix.

“You know, even if Penelope did take Fife back to her place for whatever reason, he’d never make it past Pyewacket.”

“Oh yes!” his sister agreed with a laugh. “That cat is like a guard dog when it comes to Pen.”

Colin looked between the two of them and started to think he must still be asleep and all this some weird, horrible dream. Penelope was having dinner with a lech, and they were sitting here completely unbothered, yammering on about a cat?

What alternate nightmare universe had he stumbled back into?

His cutlery made a stark clanging sound as he dropped them and they bounced off the edge of his plate, drawing their attention.

“What bloody hell is going on here?” he demanded, his voice full of irate frustration.  “Are you two just winding me up? First all that about Fife and now some nonsense about the cat.”

 His siblings stared back at him in surprise.

“No. No wind up,” Benedict assured him, shaking his head. “Fife is a dick and Pye is oddly protective of Penelope.”

“It’s true,” Eloise concurred. “Pye seems to dislike anyone that’s interested in her. It’s like he can sense it or something. Don’t know if it’s a jealousy thing but he really didn’t like Alfie. He scratched him a couple of times, put a dead mouse in his bag and crapped in one of his shoes.”

“That just shows good judge of character,” Colin muttered derisively.

 His siblings both nodded and laughed at that. At least he wasn’t alone in his dislike of Albert.

“And then there was poor Jack,” Benedict said, his amusement increasing.

“Oh yes, Pen told me you set her up on a date,” Colin cut in unhappily, glaring at his brother.

Benedict held up his hands in mock surrender but couldn’t wipe the mirth from his face.

“It wasn’t really a date. He was the brother of a woman who was doing some modelling for me. Penelope was at my studio when he dropped his sister off and they started chatting. They’d both just come out of relationship’s and I thought it’d be nice if we all continued talking over dinner. It was perfectly harmless,” he explained reasonably. Colin gave him an incredulous look, which seemed to amuse his brother even more. “Anyway, we all,” he emphasised, with a nod, before continuing, “went back to Pen’s place after for a coffee and Pye wouldn’t let the poor guy even sit next to her on the couch. Kept hissing at him whenever he tried. In the end, Pen picked him up and put him outside but as soon as Jack sat down, Pye just came out of nowhere and jumped straight onto his lap…claws out.”

Colin winced at that and squirmed a little in his seat as Benedict began to laugh in earnest at the memory.

“I can’t wait to see what he does to you,” Eloise chimed in with a grin.

Colin rolled his eyes at her and picked up his knife and fork again. He refused to take the bait. Even so, as he finally started to eat, he was uncomfortably aware that Pye had unsettled him a few times over calls, although he’d never admit that out loud. He was always with Penelope, staring at him over her shoulder or sitting on her lap. His eyes seemed to transfix him at times, almost as though searching for…something and weirdly, Colin, more often than not, felt as though he came up lacking.

He put a forkful of creamy mash into his mouth and gave himself a mental shake. He was being ridiculous. It was just a cat. Benedict and Eloise had got into his jet-lagged head with their absurd theory when he should be focussing on more important things – like what was happening with Fife.

His gaze flicked to his sister’s phone to see if any messages had flashed up. It was still early, but he hoped…

“Colin will be fine, Eloise,” Benedict dismissed airily, still grinning. “He and Penelope are just friends, right brother?”

The dark-haired man swallowed his food and shook his head.

“Can we not talk about something else?” he suggested wryly, determined to change the subject. “As odd as you both believe Pye’s behaviour to be, I think it’s even more bizarre that after years and years of decrying romance and anything vaguely associated with it, I hear that Eloise seems to actually be in a relationship.”

His sister immediately tensed beside him and he knew his ploy had worked.

Colin smirked as Eloise then proceeded to spend the next ten minutes denying anything and everything with even more vehemence than himself.

They finished dinner and had another round of drinks then decided to call it a night. Thankfully his siblings hadn’t returned to their previous teasing and he’d enjoyed the rest of the evening, bar one thing – Eloise still hadn’t heard from Penelope.

He glanced at his watch. It wasn’t that late, only ten o’clock, but surely she’d had enough time to have dinner and go home?

He stood beside his sister outside the pub as they waited for Benedict to go and get his car. His brother was taking Eloise home before heading back to his studio to finish off a commission that was due in a couple of days time.

A soft buzz had him turn his head and he saw his sister check her phone. Phillip had been texting her on and off throughout the evening so he was half expecting to be disappointed again but she looked up, suddenly, and smiled.

“She’s home.”

At bloody last.

“Good.” There must have been a wealth of meaning in his tone that he hadn’t accounted for because Eloise suddenly reached out and touched his arm. He gazed at her quizzically as she stared at him and the silence stretched out between them. “What is it?”

She seemed uncertain, which was unusual for Eloise, but then she clearly made her mind up to say what she wanted to say.

“Look, I know I’m probably the last person to give advice when it comes to love,” she began. Ignoring Colin’s huff of laughter and nod, she continued more determinedly, “but one thing I’ve learned is that lying to yourself about how you feel doesn’t make it go away.”

Colin sighed and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets.

“I’m not lying to myself, El,” he replied quietly, darting her a quick glance. “I know exactly how I feel.”

She looked confused at his admission.

“Then what’s stopping you telling her?”

Where to start? Their friendship being ruined for one – especially if she didn’t feel the same. And, in fact, did she feel the same? He hoped…he very much hoped that she did. But he wasn’t sure. Which in turn made him a coward because when push come to shove, would he actually be able to cross that line? He wasn’t sure about that either.

He looked at his sister again and she stared back at him expectantly, waiting for a response.

So, Colin did what he did best. He deflected with a joke.

“Pye, for one,” he quipped, summoning a bright smile. “From the tales you and Benedict told earlier, I’d be lucky to even make it through the door.”

Eloise shot him an exasperated glare.

“Colin, be serious,” she snapped in frustration.

“I am!” he exclaimed, his face a picture of innocence.

He was saved from any further discourse when Benedict’s classic, light blue, Jensen Interceptor purred to a halt in front of them.

Colin stepped forward and opened the door for his sister. She looked like she wanted to say more but finally huffed out sigh and clambered in.

“Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” Benedict asked, leaning over the centre console to see him.

Colin bent down and shook his head.

“No thanks, the walk will do me good,” he replied, before straightening up and taking a step back to close the passenger door with a slam.

He stood and gave a little wave as Benedict pulled away from the kerb then began the relatively short walk back to his flat. He’d only gone a few steps when his mobile buzzed. He took it out and smiled when he saw it was a message from Penelope.

It wasn’t long. Just a quick text to say that she hoped he was home safely from his trip and asking if he’d enjoyed his evening out with his family. There was also another apology for not being able to join them. An apology that he took as an opening to give her call because he really, really wanted to know what had happened at her dinner with Fife.

“Hi,” he greeted when she answered after a couple of rings, “I’m walking home so thought I’d call instead of messaging back.”

“Did you have a good night?” she asked.

Perfect opportunity.

“I did, thanks. How about you? Did you have a nice dinner?” he queried.

He tried to keep his voice light but even he heard the faint accusation colouring his tone.

So did Penelope, clearly, as there was a distinct pause before he heard her sigh heavily then ask shrewdly, “El told you, didn’t she?” 

“She might have mentioned it,” he admitted cagily, noticing that she hadn’t actually answered his question.

“Oh, I bet she did,” Penelope chuckled. “I think she hates my editor more than I do.”

From the way she was speaking it didn’t seem as though anything untoward had happened that evening, so he was relieved at that. But still…

“Why didn’t you tell me you were having trouble with him, Pen?” he asked abruptly.

Because that’s what he really wanted to know, wasn’t it? Why, when they’d been in contact practically every day, hadn’t she confided in him?  

“I didn’t see the point,” she replied, sounding a little confused. “What were you going to do? Jet back from Bali or wherever you were off to next and sort him out for me?”

She laughed and he wasn’t quite sure what irked him more - the genuine puzzlement in her voice at the thought of telling him, or her clear amusement at the idea that he might come back to help.

“Well, I guess we’ll never know now, since you never told me, will we?” he remarked dryly.

There was another slight pause and then she said softly, “Oh Colin, you’re not really upset about this, are you? I just didn’t want to worry you when it was all under control. He’s an annoyance but nothing I can’t handle, and tonight was the last I’ll see of him, thankfully.”

Now it was Colin’s turn to sigh.

She didn’t want to worry him.

Him.

And all the while, he had selfishly been concerned with his own hurt feelings.

Now who was the dick?

“Oh Pen, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he told her apologetically. “I know you’re perfectly capable of dealing with prat’s like Fife yourself. You’re amazing.”

“I don’t know about that…” she began self-depreciatingly.

“Well, I do and you are,” he assured her firmly, then added lightly, “But, just know that now I’m back, if you are ever in need of any muscle…call Eloise. I’ll hold her coat.”

Her answering laugh warmed him and he grinned. They continued chatting throughout his walk home and long after he’d let himself into his flat and settled down on his couch. They talked about their upcoming books, his trip, the new restaurant she’d been to that evening – apparently the portions were small but the prices were high. Penelope admitted to having made herself some supper because she’d still been hungry when she’d got home.

She also, eventually, told him about Fife and his unsavoury comments. Colin was quite glad that he had been out of the country as he listened to her. He was certain he would have done something to the bastard had he been around and quite possibly ruined her contract with her publishers to boot. As it was, he merely interjected with the odd expletive as she talked, relieved that she would no longer had to deal with him.

“It’s getting late,” she finally said. “You must be so tired, you only got back today and I’m sitting here talking your ear off.”

He glanced at his watch and saw, to his surprise, that it was approaching one o’clock in the morning.

“Don’t worry, I have another,” he joked, reluctant to end their call despite the time.

“I could probably talk that one off too,” she laughed, then continued ruefully, “but my phone battery is low and El is coming over early tomorrow…well, this morning, to help me sort some things out for the party, so I’d better go.”

“Oh. I was going to suggest we get breakfast at that café near you,” he replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He’d really wanted to see her.

“You’re welcome to come here instead,” she offered after a beat.

“I’d love too,” he answered quickly. Probably a little too quickly he realised with a slight wince. “I’ll pick us up some pastries and coffee on the way over.”

“That sounds great,” she replied warmly. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, see you later, Pen.”

He ended the call and smiled to himself. He’d been really fed up when he’d found out that Penelope had had plans that evening. He’d been looking forward to seeing her again, but talking to her for so long instead had been an unexpectedly soothing balm to the worst of his despondency.

And at least he would get to see her in a few hours. True, his sister would be there so he wouldn’t be able to say much in regards to, well, anything really, but he was looking forward to it all the same.

He got up and switched off the light then headed into his bedroom in a decidedly happier frame of mind than he had been all day.

At her house, Penelope tucked the quilt more snugly around her body with a huge smile on her face. Actually hearing from Colin had been nice surprise. That he was in the same country and only a couple of miles away, made it feel even better.

The fact that she was in her bed while speaking to him made it more intimate, somehow, too. Like he was there with her, laying by her side.

Her whole body warmed at the thought.

She’d believed that she’d long given up hope in anything ever happening between them, but now, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed over the last few months. She didn’t know what exactly, but Colin seemed…different. It wasn’t what he said, but more how he said it that seemed to have altered.

A little bit more flirtatious. A little bit more innuendo. Things that could be taken lightly or to mean something more if she were only to pursue it.

But she never did. She found she wasn’t quite brave enough.

She turned on her side and switched off her bedside lamp.

Maybe it was all in her mind.

Maybe Alfie’s certainty about Colin’s feelings had seeped into the tiny part of her brain that so wanted it to be true, that she was reading far too much into everything he said and did.

But still…

He had sent another gift to her during his travels. A rather lovely cat figurine hand carved from bamboo and bespoke painted to look just like Pye. His note had said it was a thank you for ‘keeping him company’ while he was away.

She’d loved it and placed it on her mantlepiece next to her birthday gift from him. Then she’d picked up Pyewacket and took a selfie with him and the figures in the background. She’d sent it off to Colin who had replied with just one word - beautiful.

Naturally she’d spent a good couple of days wondering what that meant. The picture in general? Pye? Her?

She hadn’t acknowledged his comment. She’d just sent an inane message about sending photos when he got to his next location if he had the time. He’d sent back a thumbs up emoji and the status quo had returned.

Sort of.

And now she was going to finally see him again after all these months away. He seemed keen to see her too, didn’t he?

He certainly sounded like it.

She certainly hoped he did.

More than ever, she cursed Fife for arranging to meet the night that Colin had come back home. She’d tried to get him to change it, but he’d sworn he’d not been able to and, in the end, it had been a price she’d been willing to pay to be rid of the oaf for good.

And, heavens, did she pay.

The man had more arms than an octopus and each one had a horrible grabby hand attached. She’d got through dinner, just – although she could’ve sneezed more food than was presented on her plate. She’d refused dessert as they had concluded the official part of the evening and she’d wanted to leave. When he’d tried to touch her leg, again, she’d grabbed her glass of overpriced wine and poured it straight onto his lap. While he'd sat there spluttering in outrage, she’d told him exactly what she thought of him before walking out of the restaurant without looking back.

Odious man.

A sudden meow broke into her unhappy thoughts and she felt Pye jump up onto the bed. A few moments later he was in her face demanding attention.

“Where have you been, eh?” she wondered aloud. “Out visiting friends?”

He let out another mew as she gave him a quick fuss and then he settled down beside her.

He’d slipped out of the cat flap earlier after she’d come home from her meeting with Fife. She’d been angry and hungry and frustrated and had slammed about the place cursing the wretched human from here to kingdom come.

Pye had watched and listened but it wasn’t until the human who loved her had called, that he’d left. He knew speaking to Colin would make her happy.

He was no longer needed and there was something he had to do.

No one upset Penelope on his watch.

END CHAPTER 2

[bromfieldhall]

PYEWACKET - Chapter 1 -

(A Polin Fanfic)

Can also be read on AO3

Ch. 2, Ch. 3 & Ch. 4

Penelope is in love with Colin. Colin is in love with Penelope. Both think that their love is unrequited and don't want to act upon their feelings in case it ruins their friendship Enter, Pyewacket...

Bridgerton Modern AU

Pairing: Colin/Penelope

My submission for Polinween Week 2 - 'What's a Little Fur Between Friends'

Chapter 1 - Birthday Girl

It was on a warm, slightly humid, evening in late July that Penelope Featherington fell completely and utterly, head over heels, in love for the second time in her fairly young life.

He was a handsome boy, brimming with confidence and gorgeous green eyes that bordered on hypnotising. As soon as he’d sauntered in through the open back door of her modest, two-bedroom house, she’d known she was a goner.

She’d always loved cats.

Purring loudly, his black, glossy fur had tickled as he’d rubbed around her bare ankles before he’d jumped up and settled himself down on her old, comfy settee, like he’d lived there for years.

That had been a month ago. She’d put up notices, had him checked at the vets but with no microchip and nobody calling to claim him, he was now officially hers…or maybe she was officially his really.

Whatever way round it was, ‘Pyewacket’, as she’d named him, was here to stay.

“A pie-wotsit?” her friend, Eloise, had quipped with an incredulous laugh when Penelope had told her.

“It’s an old name for a witch’s familiar,” the redhead had explained. At Eloise’s blank look, she’d shrugged and added a little defensively, “Well, I like it.”

“It’s great, Pen, honestly,” Eloise had assured her with a grin. “I would’ve probably called him something boring like John, but Pye…”

“…wacket,” her friend had supplied helpfully when Eloise had trailed off with a frown.

“Yes, Pye, really suits him.”

Penelope had simply shook her head and smiled. She’d take that.

And now, to celebrate, she’d bought Pye a dark green collar with a little bell, a new catnip toy and a small tin of tuna. He ran over as soon as she opened the can and paced around her legs with the odd little mew as he waited impatiently for his treat. She placed his bowl on the stone tiled kitchen floor, then put the kettle on and herself a m ug of tea.

She’d just sat down with her steaming brew when her phone went off and she smiled when she saw the name that flashed up. No matter what continent he was on for work, he never forgot her birthday.

Ever.

“Hi Colin.” A loud rendition of ‘Happy Birthday to You’ came back at her and she laughed when he held the last ‘you’ for far longer than she thought was possible. “Thank you for reminding me I’m another year older, but sadly not any wiser,” she quipped when the singing had ended.

“Oh, that sounds rather ominous,” he replied, suddenly serious. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Of course,” she said in what she hoped was a dismissive tone.

Apparently, it wasn’t…

“Penelope, I know you. What’s happened? Is it your mum? What’s she said now?” he fired off, already getting angry on her behalf.

“No, it’s not mum - or Prudence or Philippa,” she added before her friend mentioned her sisters.

“Well, it’s something,” he prodded. Colin paused, but when Penelope didn’t speak, he asked flatly, “Is it Alan?”

Penelope sighed heavily and shook her head at his continuous propensity to get her boyfriend’s name wrong.

Well, ex-boyfriend now.

“It’s Alfie, Colin and yes, if you must know we broke up last week,” she told him unhappily.

“Switch to facetime,” he demanded suddenly.

“Colin…”

“Pen, switch to facetime. I want to see you so we can talk properly,” he told her firmly.

“I’m sure you have better things to do than listen to me having a moan,” she argued without any real heat, “and I thought you said were meant to be filming some secret lagoon today or something?”

“That’s later. So, I’m exactly where I want to be. Talking to you on facetime, Pen,” he retorted.

She tutted but pulled her phone away from her ear and saw that he had already made the call. She hit accept and his face came into view.

‘Well. Happy, fricking, birthday, to me,’ she thought, drinking in the sight of him.

From his chestnut brown hair – that was slightly too long and curling up at the ends in a way that made her fingers itch to reach through the screen and just tug – to his ridiculously deep blue eyes, lightly stubbled chin and golden tan.

He looked gorgeous…and of course he was shirtless.

Her gaze dropped briefly to his chest, skittering over the liberal covering of hair there. Dear God, if he only knew what that did to her, he’d probably wear a polo neck for the rest of his life.

They were only friends, after all. Something that she constantly had to remind herself of when her mind – or gaze – wandered off to their own little fantasies. It didn’t matter that she’d been in love with him for forever.

Well, years, anyway.

And honestly, she’d long since made peace with her unrequited feelings in regards to Colin Bridgerton.

Mostly.

He’d been out of the country for a couple of months now. Said he’d had an idea for a new book and had left with barely a few days notice.

She understood. Like him, she was a writer. Romance novels that sold surprisingly well, considering the lack of any real lasting relationships in her personal life to draw upon. Still, her books had ensured her bank balance was very healthy and when the writing bug bit, she knew you had to go with it, wherever it took you.

For Colin, that just happened to be the other side of the world more often than not. New places to see, new experiences to catalogue. He thrived on the adventure and it clearly showed…if his sun-kissed beach body was anything to go by. Not an ounce of fat anywhere from what she could see…

“So,” he said, drawing her attention back to their conversation. He had a small, sympathetic smile on his face and tilted his head slightly as he continued, “do you want to tell me what happened?”

Not really.

She certainly wasn’t going to tell him that Alfie had become very suspicious of her feelings for Colin and was oddly convinced that the love of her life also felt something back.

 She’d quickly brushed that notion off as ridiculous but then, with impeccable timing, several messages had suddenly pinged through on her phone from Colin. It was merely a rundown of his day with some photos of things he thought she might like to see. For her, that was normal. For Alfie, not so much it seemed…not for a long while.

In the end, listening to his reasoning, even she had to begrudgingly admit that, from the outside, it had kind of undermined her argument.

And, to top it all off, Pye hadn’t liked him. Not one little bit.

“There’s nothing to tell. It just didn’t work out and he…we decided it would be better to end it,” she finally replied with a shrug.

Colin’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the truth of her words. He didn’t quite believe her but, at the same time, she didn’t seem particularly upset, so he reluctantly decided not to push the reasons why. He was just unaccountably pleased that the idiot was gone.

“Well, having never spoken to the guy, Pen, I can safely say that he’s a fool,” he told her wryly. He was rewarded with her laugh and grinned. “So, what are your plans for your birthday? Going out somewhere nice tonight?” he asked, changing the subject.

“No, not now. Alfie was taking me out for dinner, but I’m going to get a pizza in and open a bottle of wine instead,” she replied with a smile.

“Sounds like that that’ll be a far more interesting night,” he commented with a chuckle. “Is Eloise joining you? How is she? I haven’t spoken to her recently.”

“She’s good, but I haven’t told her about Alfie and me yet because she’d already made plans with Phillip for this evening,” she explained with a sigh. “I know she’d cancel on him just because it’s my birthday and I don’t want her to. He’s a nice guy and I think she really likes him.”

“Poor chap,” he commiserated with a huff of laughter. He loved his sister but she could be…difficult at times. 

“She’s not that bad,” Penelope rebuked lightly.

Colin merely raised his eyebrows at that and they both shared a laugh.

“So, since El is busy, what about one of your other friends?” he asked, bringing the conversation back around to her. “You can’t be alone on your birthday, Pen.”

“Oh, I’m fine. It’s just another day at my age and, anyway, who says I’m going to be alone? I’ll have you know I’ll be spending the evening with a very handsome fellow,” she told him rather smugly.

On the other end of the call, Colin’s hand tightened around his phone as felt his stomach drop – and then churn unpleasantly. She’d met someone else already?

“Well, that was rather quick,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?”

Colin’s eyes widened as he realised he’d spoken louder than he’d imagined and felt heat start to warm his cheeks.

She was staring at him with an expression that told him she wasn’t quite sure that she’d heard, what she thought she’d heard.

“Oh, uh, nothing, I just said that...um…I’m sure you could have your pick,” he covered relatively smoothly and even managed to summon a charming smile.

At least, he hoped it was charming because it felt like the skin on his face was so taut it might actually tear apart if he tried to force his mouth any wider.

Penelope regarded him for a couple of seconds longer then suddenly giggled.

“I’m pretty certain he picked me.” She glanced away for a moment then looked back at him happily and added, “Hang on, he’s just finished eating. I’ll go get him and introduce you.”

What?

He was there?

All this time?

Colin’s heart stuttered along with his words. In the end all he managed to get out was an odd, strangulated sound that really had more to do with the fact that Penelope had leaned forward to prop up her phone against something on the table. It had afforded him with such an appealing view of her ample chest that he’d been rendered momentarily speechless.

Good Lord, if she knew just how much she affected him, she’d be horrified. Rightly so. Friends didn’t ogle friends – even if one the friends desperately wished they could be more.

The sound of footsteps made him focus back on the screen. She was returning with her new…whatever. Shaking himself mentally, he tried to adopt a neutral expression so that he could at least appear to seem unbothered by this unexpected turn of events.

“Here he is,” Penelope gushed as she came back into view. She sat down on the settee with a big bundle of fur in her arms and turned him so that Colin could see his face. “Meet Pyewacket, the new addition to the Featherington household.”

Oh.

A cat.

If he hadn’t already realised awhile ago that he was in love with his friend, the ridiculous amount of relief that flooded through his system in that single moment would’ve been a huge wake-up call. Even for him.

He watched as Penelope stroked him, the cats back arching under her ministrations. Pyewacket was clearly enjoying all the attention and purred loudly as she scratched lightly behind first one ear, then the other.

Colin smiled a little at the obvious tenderness on her face as she fussed her new pet. He’d be a very happy man indeed if she ever looked at him like that.

Suddenly, Pye stopped purring and stared unwaveringly into the camera, directly at Colin. He wasn’t sure if he’d made a noise or had moved slightly, but whatever the reason, he’d definitely grabbed the cat’s attention and as he stared back, he was taken with how very green his eyes were…and how they seemed to pierce straight into his soul.

It was a distinctly unnerving feeling that had him clear his throat a little in discomfort. He tried to look away but couldn’t. Something held him captive, like an invisible hold and then, one blink, and it was gone.

Pye turned away and after circling in Penelope’s lap a couple of times, he settled down, seemingly falling into an instant sleep.

“Well,” Colin began, still trying to get his head around what had just happened, “he’s a handsome devil.” He forced a grin. “Great name. Witch’s familiar. Suits him.”

Penelope beamed and he relaxed a little.

“I guess that’s my outfit sorted for the Halloween party this year then,” she commented with a chuckle.

“Oh, you’re going as a sexy witch, huh?” he teased, his grin easier now. “Good thing I’ll be back in time. I very much look forward to seeing that costume on the night.”

Her eyes widened as a delicate blush stained her cheeks and he belatedly wondered if he’d overstepped - but needn’t have worried. She was apparently more surprised about him returning.

“You’re coming? Really? But…I thought you said we wouldn’t see you until Christmas?” she exclaimed in confusion.

“I did, but I’ve actually made much better progress than I thought I would, so I should only be gone a few more weeks,” he explained, keeping it vague.

In truth, he’d only just decided to return and it was primarily because her prat of a boyfriend was no longer around.

On screen her expression softened as she smiled.

“That news is probably the best present I could’ve had for my birthday,” she said sincerely. “It’ll be good to have you home again, Colin.”

Home.

Where the heart is...and his heart, he now knew, had always been hers.

“Pen…”

Before he could say anything more, there was a loud knock on his hotel room door.

“I’ll go and let you get that,” she said, picking up her phone.

He sighed and nodded. He wasn’t really sure what he’d been about to say anyway. Although the urge to blurt out his feelings had been strong, there was no way he was going to make that kind of declaration over a bloody facetime call. Penelope deserved so much better than that.

“I’ll be in touch,” he assured her instead, “and let me know when your real present turns up. I think you might like it.”

“Present? What present?” she asked perplexed. “Colin?”

“Happy birthday, Pen.”

Grinning, he gave her a wink and a little wave, then ended the call.

“Infuriating man,” she muttered as she tossed the phone down beside her on the settee.

Pye lifted his head and mewed softly as if in agreement.

“Exactly!” she replied with a curt nod.

Absently, she started to stroke his fur, her mind running over and over the unexpected phone call. After a few moments she let out a groan of frustration and moved Pye gently off her lap so that she could stand. She refused to waste any more time torturing herself by reading anything into Colin’s meaningless flirtations. He probably didn’t even realise he was doing it at this point. They’d known each other for so long it was second nature for him.

Picking up her now lukewarm mug of tea, she took it over to the sink and tipped it away. Flicking the switch on the kettle, she leaned back against the counter and waited for it to boil to make a fresh cup.

She’d just added a dash of milk when her doorbell rang. Answering the door, the postman handed over a small parcel that needed her signature. She duly complied and walked back into the kitchen where she placed the box on the counter.

She could see it was from Colin and a dart of anticipation rose within her as she carefully opened the parcel. After putting most of the packaging to one side, she found a note and a small ornament wrapped in tissue.

She opened the note and read it quickly.

‘For your birthday, Pen. I saw this and knew it belonged with you. Love Colin x’

Intrigued, she pulled off the tissue and stared at the beautifully carved wooden figurine in amazement.

It was of a cat. Seated with its tail curled around its paws. Black, of course, with deep green, painted eyes.

She let out a delighted laugh. What were the odds? He couldn’t have known about Pye because she knew that he hadn’t been in touch with any of his siblings recently. In fact, she was the one that tended to update them as Colin often spoke to her because she was always so interested in what he was doing.

“Look, it’s you!” she declared, turning to show Pye the ornament.

He was sat on one of the breakfast stools and eyed the figure a moment before leaning forward and giving it a cursory sniff. He pulled back and looked at her then let out a little chirrup.

“I agree, it is beautiful.”

Still giggling to herself over the uncanny coincidence, she went and got her phone from where it lay on the couch and quickly typed out a thank you message to Colin. He replied almost immediately saying she was welcome and that he was looking forward to seeing her in a few weeks.

Penelope sighed and sat down. Seeing her. Not simply looking forward to coming home, but to seeing her. And so was she. Looking forward to seeing him. More than she knew she should allow herself too really. She didn’t want get her hopes up anymore.

As if sensing her sudden sombre mood, Pyewacket jumped up beside her and reached out a paw, gently touching her arm. She gave him a scratch on the head and smiled a little sadly.

“Oh, Pye, all these years and I’m still such a fool for him,” she muttered with a shake of her head. “As if this time will be any different from all the other times he’s come home, right?”

He mewed a response and she turned her head to look at him in amazement. It was the damndest thing but she could have sworn that it sounded like, ‘yes’.

She suddenly laughed at the absurdity of the notion and gave him a little pat.

“Come on, let’s find your toy and have a play,” she said, dropping a kiss on the top of his silky head.

Pye regarded her a moment as she went off, then trailed after her, tail upright, the tip twitching slightly.

Humans were a funny lot, he decided. But he liked this one and he knew the other one did too. A lot.

And come All Hallow’s Eve, Pye was determined that she would know just how much the other one did as well.