#putting this in the tag bc that would have been the superior plot line

[lemonhemlock]

i am way too late for any of this, but i felt like ranting a little (a lot) over tma, so here it goes.

i actually really, really liked the dreamlike quality of the S5 statements. i think they're some of jonny's best work. so evocative and just beautifully written, the feeling of horror so prevalent, so delicate, so entrapping. i would listen to them absolutely enthralled. what a submersive experience. so on that front, 100% would recommend.

the problems i have are mainly with the meta-plot. certainly, personal preferences and biases come into play here, bc i despise jonmartin with the fire of a thousand suns and would have loved a jonelias corruption narrative, but, i feel that, in his quest to appease the j-mart shippers, jonny sacrificed a lot of his story's integrity. also, i have no way of verifying this, but it also felt like he inserted his own biases in a way that wasn't necessarily productive.

ultimately, i feel like he disrespected his main antagonists and that essentially translated into a sort of irreverence towards his own story. elias was easily his most dramatic and interesting villain (regardless of what he originally intended for him, it's how he developed throughout the story & i think there is a certain honesty in a writer acknowledging and respecting that), stole every scene he was in, yet after his great villain reveal in S4, he is absolutely absent throughout his entire apocalypse. it creates a lack of catharsis that i find bothersome. his death is way too easy. yet when he finally appears in MAG 193, it is glorious. he is terrifyingly in the throws of religious ecstasy as the eye's pupil. such an interesting idea! so little it was developed though bc jonny for some reason doesn't like elias.

there's this entire commentary about how elias is really just there to be eye's pupil until jon takes over from him, bc it's jon the eye truly desires. as if after faithfully serving the beholding for two centuries and bringing about his ritual, the eye would just disregard elias and actually be interested in the one person who is unwilling to play ball. please be serious. not saying that jon can't be the eye's "special little boy" or whatever, but the nerfing of elias/jonah borderlines on petulant. ofc, jonny is the author and you cannot begrudge a man for writing whatever he wants, but, as a listener, i have to say it feels very unsatisfying whenever authorial biases directly affect the storyline. very deus-ex-machina. very unearned.

i also have a problem with how the eye was ultimately handled and, once again, nerfed. the introduction of this element in relation to the beholding, that it sees but does not understand, felt very trite to me. it was added as a way to de-power the eye and elevate the web. but how could it even be true in the context of the entity conceptualization? the reason scopophobia is a thing is because people fear someone is behind the watching. what they fear is judgment or someone keeping tabs on them and using that information to harm them in some way. that requires intelligence, a capacity to distinguish between the harmless and the incriminatory, a propensity for casting moral judgment, of holding people accountable, of assigning blame, of discovering people's deepest, darkest secrets, of weaponizing shame. no one is afraid of a crow or a cat staring back at them, because, while those are also living beings, they lack the higher intelligence that creates the context necessary for scopophobia. so how can the eye not possess intelligence? apparently it doesn't, because jonny decided he didn't like the eye and the spider was oh-so-cooler instead.

but that only lead to the spider being way too overpowered than it should have been. as the so-called brain of the operation, the web really manifests a lot of faults that could have been exploited, yet the character never do, because the web needs to be true It Girl for some reason. this all feels very childish. the web's motivations do not work in-universe. we are often told it doesn't have a ritual because it is content with playing its games of manipulation within the world as it currently is. and that honestly seemed a rather fair assessment to make, but later proved to be a red herring, because it was the web that was actually behind the eye's own ritual.

i have several gripes with this. 1. if the spider is so smart, why doesn't it/can't it have its own ritual and re-shape the world according to its own preferences? why does it have to piggyback on the eye's grind? 2. the spider's big plan seems to be bringing about the eyepocalypse just to convince the characters to let the fears out into the metaverse so it can start again. because, as it turns out, the eyepocalypse isn't really it's preferred state of being? it was the status-quo after all? the web DID prefer the world as it was, because it allowed it to thrive off manipulation and puppeteering, things it can't really engage in as much as it would like, since now everyone is trapped inside various fear domains. so, why-oh-why, not just leave the world as is? why even bring about an apocalypse in the first place if your intention is to always inhabit a apocalypse-less place?

i felt like this was such a plot-hole of an explanation the way it was presented. the web's greatest flaw was that it loved intricate plots so much there was a real danger of over-complicating its own plans and failing to see the forest from the trees, so to speak. the eye could have been used not to boggle down on meaningless details and ramifications, but to get a better sense of the bigger picture, something the web could very well lose sight of (pun intended). so the web's "plan" could have been ultimately rendered meaningless, because instead of choosing the simplistic, straightforward, occam's razor solution (no apocalypse, just thrive off the world as it is), it chose the overly complicated path that placed it in a situation it didn't thrive in (eyepocalypse) and made it even more complicated to get out of in the first place. it basically surrendered its destiny into the hands of people who had zero reasons to act sympathetic and could have very well chosen to destroy the entire world, fears included. and yet i am supposed to be in awe of the web's great intelligence and buy into the whole dumb eye propaganda?

many things have already been said about the moral dilemma at the end of S5 and my take on that is that jon was right. it was the merciful and just solution to prevent other people from other universes from suffering at the hands of fear entities. but i will be indulgent and account that it is a difficult choice to make for anyone, since human beings are so survivalist in nature and the choice to just make the fears someone else's problem in the hopes of their plans maybe getting foiled more effectively by others is tantalizing. who knows what any of us would have chosen had we been in their situation? perpetuating the horrors on someone else just so you could get reprieve is so cravenly but it's human and i get it. however, by no means is this a happy ending the way it was framed by the narrative. what melanie, georgie, basira and martin did was horrible and evil, but it is never acknowledged in that way. the least jonny could have done is have jon resist martin's selfish decision and have martin genuinely kill him. but, no, martin gets his romantic send-off together with jon, with the open possibility that they get transported to another world where they could start over. melanie, georgie and basira get to start a new life in the entity-less world, after contributing almost nothing. the worst characters get to live & they're validated in their awful behaviour.

however. i do feel like there were other ways to resolve the eyepocalypse without resorting to a horrible sophie's choice in the first place, but that would require a more extensive endgame re-write.

[jonny-versace]

tagged by @nooneelsecomesclose17 <3 and by @luststricken ! <3

robron game!

Affair era or Husbands era? Husband era definitely. the affair obv has tons of iconic moments but as an overall narrative I find it really lacking, from a satisfying story perspective I really think the affair gets good when it ends, whereas husband era is is pretty much constantly building on their foundations

Floral shirt or Brown leather jacket? FLORAL SHIRT. the brown leather jacket is in hell where it belongs

Purple hoodie or Overalls? PURPLE HOODIE 🤧

Wedding 1.0 or Wedding 2.0? both. I tend to think of them as two sides of the same coin. so like wedding one is this kind of beautiful tragedy of them trying to paper over the cracks bc they just fundamentally love each other and that's all that matters to them in the moment, and wedding two is like the glorious crossing over the finish line where they've actually put the work in and come out the other side stronger and is a celebration of that. so they're kind of a pair, to me

Liv or Vic? Vic, easily. she unfortunately gets used as a whipping character by the Plot far too often but ultimately she's far more of her own character, and her relationship with her family is gorgeous. Liv has her moments but the circumstances of her permanently moving to the village winds me up, her wider relationships in the village barely exist and the mini Aaron thing is obnoxious. that said, I would kill and/or die for her relationship with Robert

The Sugdens or The Dingles? The Sugdens, easy. all the various dynamics in that family are absolutely batshitand fascinating, particularly in the context of having watched a lot of classic Emmerdale.

The lodge or Christmas 2017? Proooooobably the lodge, just, although I adore Xmas too.

Chrissie White or Rebecca White? oof, really depends. I think Chrissie just edges it, because she pretty much always had her own thing going on, whereas Rebecca was limited for so long by being solely the Obstacle, literally all she was for so long a hat wearing irritation with no character beyond "Robert". that being said, 2018 Rebecca is a lot of fun and I prefer that actual character to Chrissie.

Reunion 1.0 or Reunion 2.0? reunion 2. the first is gorgeous and special especially in all the context and everything they'd both been through in the previous month's but come on, The reunion is just perfection.

Alex or Mike? I have no idea who that first one is so Mike by default, also Gary ftw

The Love We Stole or Make You Feel My Love? the love we stole! Adele just does not fit them

Lay-by or Barn? lay-by ❤️❤️

Proposal 1.0 or Proposal 2.0? I kinda think of them like I do the weddings. buttttt as iconic and brilliant as SSW is overall, strictly as a proposal I prefer the second one. Robert getting to talk about how much Aaron changed him is >>>>>

2016 or 2018? 2018 is their best year, hands down, easily. it just has everything I wanted for them and more from start to finish, I think I've watched it more than the other years combined. 2016 is the definition of peaks and valleys, the highs (the abuse story, ssw, the period after the Great Chill) are monumental but the lows are loooooow

Chas or Diane? probably Chas, at least up to like mid 2017. like she's a hypocritical disaster of a mess but she owns it and the other characters call her on it. sticking her back with Paddy absolutely murdered her character though, Diane is superior post 2017

Boyfriend era or affair era? tough one but probably boyfriend era. there's a couple of months before The Helicopter Lands that are absolutely GORGEOUS and totally make up for the post reunion suitable weeks. like I said before, the affair has its moments but I always want so so much more from it narratively, though admittedly subsequent years fleshed it out retroactively. so yeah, boyfs.

not sure who has or hasn't done this already so I'll not tag anyone but I love reading this stuff so if you fancy it, do!

[tricks-up-my-sleeve]

((okay so spoilers for s8 ep 18 aka on the road to friendship under the cut w/ a bunch of spoiler tags just in case))

So uhhh this episode was everything I wanted? A lot of it’s subtle things, but, I’m ghkjlhgfd I’m not crying you are. I don’t do horse analysis or reviews or anything like that I grew tired of those types of things ages ago bc it personally gets to a point where it sucks out the fun for me but I’m just gonna make bullet points of all of my thoughts. Mainly involving Trixie and how this episode ties into my portrayal of her. Probably others too, though.

The little magic show at the beginning? Wonderful. I love these two performing together.. and together in general. Twi & Caddy even agree on how they’re such a good duo.

Speaking of which, Twi complimenting Trixie with a huge smile? HERE. FOR. IT.

Flurry Heart watching the show was adorable. Also the inclusion of Granny Smith was of course great.

“Doing a show with you is almost as much fun as counseling students at Twilight’s school.” Almost? I’m disappointed. It’s not the first time I’ll be disappointed in Glim this episode, but we’ll get there. She’s still loved.. but it gets rough.

Loved how Hoo’far called Trixie “Miss Powerful” and her reaction to it. Just cute and silly.

TRIXIE’S. LOVE. FOR. HER. WAGON. I didn’t expect this to be a big plot point in the ep or really ever brought up, but I was so thrilled because that’s always been a small part of my Trixie. She loves her wagon. It may be small and cramped (and also, it apparently has a pretty fucked up doorknob) but it has sentimental value. It means a lot to her. I loved this so much. Not once did she stop and consider trading it for something that a lot would look at and assume was superior.

Moonwalking Trixie.

Trixie bringing up how traveling gets pretty lonely a few times in this ep. Pretty much something that’s easy to guess or assume, but that’s also something my Trixie hasn’t been too shy of admitting, either.

Trixie!!! Levitating!!! Herself!!! She obviously learned that from Starlight. Although we didn’t see it much, I’m so fucking thrilled that we see that Trixie’s been improving her magic. An issue I had with To Change A Changeling (which is just a nitpick) is that they really don’t bring that up. Personally, ever since All Bottled Up, I’ve definitely been convinced that Trixie actually has strong potential for magic, given the right teacher. Glim Glam succeeds there. I could go more into detail to why I think this is but I’ll spare you.

Trixie on the couch in Starlight’s office. I don’t even have to say anything. Just perfect.

I love how Trixie painstakingly made room for the both of them in the wagon. To it’s credit, looking at it paused, it at least isn’t as small on the inside as it is the outside. It has an entire cannon in there. It seemed like she set up two beds for them? Perhaps at least one of them was makeshift? It’s hard to tell, since Star brought stuff and then she set up hammocks. It did look slightly cozier in there before the extra luggage, though. What I guess I’m getting at, is that although it’s a tight squeeze, it’s good to see that it can at least fit two ponies, although it’s not entirely ideal. 

Seeing the inside of the wagon’s been a thing I’ve wanted for ages. I could sit and look at every little thing in there and just smile for a while. Super cute.

Trixie really is sweet and considerate, you know. Seriously. Asking if Starlight is sure she doesn’t want to ride instead of walking with her, and giving her more than one chance to back out on the trip if she wants to.

THE SONG. Tell me I’m biased, I don’t care. This is my favorite horse song. I’ve waited patiently for pony Trix to sing... and it’s just.. all so fucking cute. Too much to take in.

More of Trixie’s magic shown in her shielding Starlight. Love it.

“For untold seasons yet to come, our friendship will be here!” “For nine, at least.” FUCKING. WOW. That’s clever but it also hurt my heart. Especially since my favorite friendship duo has only known each other for three of those seasons thus far, and ultimately it’ll only be four. Too soon, Glimmy.

Trixie talking about how she learned the hard way about life on the road and saving bits and all that. I like that. It shows her more mature side, and that she’s a little street smart from experience. Usually she’s kinda shown as less mature than Starlight, and this episode shows the flip side, which I really like.

I love how she’s adamant on buying hay cakes (Haycakes? They’ve used the word pancake before, though. What’s the difference?) from her preferred stand. Like.. me too, Trix. Clearly there’s a higher quality in the line that’s actually got ponies in it.

This is where Trixie and Starlight really start to argue like a married couple. Here I thought Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the prize for that. This is so domestic tho.

The first argument, at least, is short lived. I really liked that. Trixie sighs, presumably not wanting to push farther to where she hurts Starlight’s feelings. Love how she says “No, of course not.” and continues to apologize for getting snippy. She’s really improved on being.. to put it lightly, less bitchy. It’s what I love about watching her, and while To Change A Changeling was hilarious, that was my other nitpick. She had an attitude almost the entire time.. but it was funny, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call it OOC, so I wasn’t mad. The reason Trixie appeals to me so much is that she’s definitely a much nicer pony, but she’s still her. She hasn’t seemingly changed overnight from the first time we saw her, but she’s definitely made an effort. She’s quite the sweetheart when she wants to be.

I love how Trixie states that it’s taken her years to collect all of her magical items. I just think it’s neat. Also, rightfully getting offended when her stuff is called junk.

Coward Trixie returns. This is definitely me looking too deep into it but personally I’d like to think that yeah, after the Ursa event, I’d be scared of animals outside, too.

Starlight snoring and Trixie outright performing in her sleep. Lmfao. I’ve said this like fifteen times already about other things but I love it.

I relate to these tired and grumpy girls, but even I would have made sure to save some food / juice for my pal. Well.. maybe the juice was definitely out of spite. Wish I could scold her, but I would’ve done the same thing.

The grouchy magic show hurt me to watch. It was still funny though. Again, definitely arguing like a married couple. Two tired, angry friends trying to work together is just never gonna turn out right.

I love their voices in the “Practice makes perfect.” “Not today it didn’t.” exchange. So sassy. So higher pitched. Those faces, too. Lol.

Starlight throwing all of Trixie’s shit out followed by Trix yelling “You can HAVE IT ALL!” Oof. Almost like I’m watching a breakup right before my very eyes. Also the way she runs off. These poor hopeless gays.

STARLIGHT GLIMMER CONFIRMED WORST GIRLFRIEND. I’mjustkidding. Naturally I saw this coming from a mile away, but still. Wow. Ouch. I do like though how it seems to be consistent that she can be defensive of her bad decisions. Not really realizing that what she’s doing is wrong.

TRIXIE FREAKING OUT, THEN BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS BECAUSE STARLIGHT TRADED HER WAGON. This hurt me more than you could imagine, but what hurt me even more is that Starlight didn’t even flinch, and was completely insensitive about it for a while. Yikes. I already went into how much I love Trixie’s attachment to her wagon, but this killed me.

Also, pretty sure that selling or trading somebody else’s stuff is illegal, Star. Trixie shouldn’t have beef with Hoo’far. She should just be planning a lawsuit against Glimmer instead.

Am I just crazy or stupid? When Trixie tells Starlight that at least the wagon wouldn’t have traded her away, I was like, yEAH, you’re valid. Tell her. It made total sense to me. Then Starlight just responds with “That’s ridiculous.” Like?? It wasn’t to me? I sound silly now bc I get the joke, it’s an inanimate object, but what I’m trying to get at is that Trixie was pretty much trying to say that if Starlight really was her best friend she wouldn’t have done that.

I love how Trixie doesn’t accept the flattery from Hoo’far like she normally would bc she’s real pissed. To be fair, though, it’s really not his fault. I mean.. okay, a little, considering he should have known that it didn’t belong to Starlight, and that the trade needed to be given the okay by Trixie. He’s not a bad guy, though.

TRIXIE LYING IN FRONT OF THE CART FOR HOURS BC NO WAY IN HELL IS SHE LETTING THIS GUY TAKE IT. AMAZING. Give it up for his patience, too.

Starlight finds out that you win some and you lose some with the bigger caravan. Also, I love how she didn’t realize how fucked up stuff was when she was with Trixie and having a good time. Her regret sinking in seems about right. You can see her start to miss her.

“Sometimes travelling together is hard.” “But you reminded us that you can also make it fun!” Definite lesson that these two needed. Obviously Starlight was breaking before hearing that, but those big sad eyes she gets after. Regret.

“What are you two doing?” “Taking a stand! By lying down!” Lmao. Never change, Trixie.

“Best friends who share a deep bond but weren’t prepared for the emotional challenges of traveling.” Oh, definitely. Really feel like their first trip should have been a short one. Possibly with more planning ahead of time.

Best. Friendship. Chant.

“Only true friends would be willing to act so ridiculous for one another.” Aww. True.

“At a certain point, I don’t even like travelling with myself.” Line I really liked. Also Starlight saying that it’s harder than she thought.

Despite their exchange about knowing not to do it again, eh, still not wanting to completely rule out the thought of them travelling together in the future. Like I said, with more precautions taken, pretty sure they could’ve been just fine. Mainly reserving a room at an inn, since the big issue really just seemed to be them getting crabby sleeping in the wagon. Would’ve preferred it if it kinda gave that lesson and had Trixie say that they’ll know how to handle it next time, with both of them saying yeah, but let’s not make that anytime soon.

Trixie and Starlight almost killed an old man.

That’s it, if anyone even read through all of that. Can’t really say much more. This may or may not be my favorite Trixie episode. I’ll have to give it some time, but I loved almost everything about it. (No Second Prances is my current favorite I suppose, due to it also validating a lot of how I viewed Trixie at the time, and still do.)

Like I said.. it’s just really refreshing to see her take on a more mature stance than Starlight for the most part, since other episodes usually show the exact opposite. Not that Starlight is incredibly mature in her own right, but she does usually take that role when it comes to her dynamic with Trixie. I love any chance we get to see Trixie, but in episodes like To Change A Changeling, sometimes I worry that they don’t give her enough credit. She’s not a complete incompetent bitch, and to be fair, I don’t think she ever really has been. I won’t go into how I personally view her flaws, though. Guess that could be another post.

Until next time. Hopefully there is another next time. Starlight’s line in the song about nine seasons still has me all fucked up and I need help. Maybe one day I could go back and do these for past Trix episodes.

[prcmctheus]

beep beep y’all ur resident dumpster dweller kay here in action and ready 2 introduce u all to my Fave Boy misha who uhHHhh p much has rbf and a Thicc ukrainian accent. will this contain anything of substance other than immense rambling ?? whO KNOWS but we’ll go on this journey together but feel free to drop a like if u wanna plot and i’ll pop over to ur dm’s !!

potential triggers: death + mob activity

! ✰ ° — [ CHRIS PINE, CISMALE, HE/HIM ] mykhailo “misha” chernenko, aka agent prometheus is a thirty-five year old tactical agent that has been loyal to mercy twelve years. during that time they were injected with the gamma serum and earned regenerative healing they have a reputation of being the sagacious because they can be pragmatic & diligent. but let’s not forget they’re pretty acerbic & reticent. if you listen closely you can hear another one bites the dust by queen whenever they walk past.

okie to start off ya boy was brought into the world as михайло оландрович черненко ( aka mykhailo oleksandrovych chernenko ) but typically goes by the nickname of misha bc it’s easier and was born in kharkiv, ukraine ,,, he is a proud ukrainian and v much dislikes being deemed a russian ,, don’t do him dirty y’all . . it’s a struggle and one he will never forget n have u on his shit list ,, especially since his accent is still Thicc so any jokes will get u a side eye

his father oleksandr had strong nationalistic views , especially so when ukraine was still under soviet control and following the death of his first wife yulia ( they were visiting her family in moscow when she was caught in the crossfire of russian mob activity on her way home from the store and ultimately died from gunshot wounds ) he became heavily involved anti-russia groups back in ukraine

in 1983 when misha was born, he uHHhhHHhh wasn’t really wanted per say ?? like ,, his dad was hooking up with his mother kateryna and it was a surprise to them both that kateryna was pregnant ?? so oleksandr did the noble thing ( arguable bc he ain’t so noble ) and put a ring on her ,, mainly bc it was expected and kateryna gave him hell so u go kateryna

misha’s childhood wasn’t the best considering his parents argued more than they got along and kateryna really despised her husband from his life of crime ?? definitely didn’t agree with his ties to the ukrainian mob bc of the threat it brought to the family and especially the dirty money so she often put her sewing skills to use and made little of her own money ,, then wOP ,, four years down the line kateryna surprises oleksandr with the fact that she’s pregnant again but this time it ends up being a daughter that they name nadezhda but call nadia

it was an odd thing for misha bc for as harsh and distant as his father was to him, he had put him on this pedestal with a strong sense of idealism of what his father was like if he managed to do something to make him proud ,, despite not fully knowing in depth what his father did in the mob ( aka not good things like murder, drug trafficking and human trafficking ) so essentially that became misha’s goal in his v young life ,, he mimicked his father’s anti-russian views and showed interest in what he did for a living ,, rip 2 misha’s mom bc she nearly had a heart attack when she heard her son acting like everything she didn't want him to end up being

but with kateryna’s dismay came the affection from his father that misha had so desperately wanted and it became some weird take ur child to work day thing ,, this started when misha was around 6 years old and lasted up until he was 13 ( for reasons i’ll get into soon jndsjksd ) where oleksandr would often bring misha after school or even take him our during school ,, as some weird initiation thing of another generation of chernenko dedicating themselves to the cause of ukrainian independence

misha himself is an intelligent boy with a quick witted mind and ability to retain information and was quick to pick up on the russian language around him in kharkiv as well english ,, generally v good at learning languages and i just !!! get a lil emo thinking about the life misha could have had bc of his smarts if he didn’t get himself involved in this spy shit

his father finds it useful to start teaching misha how to properly fight bc #fambonding am i rite ,, also bc oleksandr is a shite dad who was gonna bring misha along to some  attack they were planning near the russian border from tensions between the ukrainian mob n the russian mob that was starting to infiltrate in ,, just dudes being dudes n getting territorial

let’s pray 4 kateryna when she finds out bc it’s when misha is 13 and tags along with his father to this smackdown which ?? ukraine is independent at this point by 5 years so oleksandr is trash n still chilling with the mob and when shit hits the fan and long story short, oleksandr ( along with many others ) gets killed, misha ends up severely hurt and it’s not a good time ,, but things shift bc when misha comes to he’s in a hospital bed and o shIT ,, he’s chilling with the security service of ukraine which deals with counterintelligence activity and terrorism

chilling ain’t really the term but yA KNOW ,, turns out they’ve been keeping eyes on the mob movements and misha attracted the attention of ukrainian intelligence “offered” him a role as a spy with the promise of training and serving his country proudly ,, u know ,, offered is in quotes bc hoe didn’t really have a choice but it wasn’t a hard choice bc misha was eager to help out his homeland

he didn’t officially go out into the field until he was 17 bc of extensive training in combat and espionage to help defend the still young foundation of the ukrainian government especially since it was rocky from the poor economic conditions ,, and after proving both his worth and abilities in several missions, he was activated as a sleeper agent in the russian government to get a hold of information regarding russian intelligence ,, more importantly such impacting ukraine

ya boy excelled in his position, given it wasn’t the most exciting bc it involved a lot of blending in and upholding this russian persona ,, gone was mykhailo chernenko for those three years up until he was 23 since he went by the alias of konstantin vasiliev ,, and he did well !! as someone who excelled in linguistics, his was v fluent in the russian language with a believable accent to match ( one of his best qualities in his ability to take on accents easily and rn he’s fluent in french, german, italian and spanish outside of his ukrainian, russian, and english )

things went well for the three years acting as a secretary for a high ranking russian government official and uh,, u know it helped that misha was attractive and knew how to use it to his advantage and successfully infiltrated into classified information since his superior viewed misha as just a pretty face with minimal understanding of how politics worked ,, meanwhile he was the one who spilled shit during sex so who was the real weenie

due to unfortunate events, misha’s cover was blown and barely made it out of russia alive and it was around his 23rd/24th that mercy got into contact with him and for as much as misha loved his country, he figured for his own safety it would be best to leave the area since lowkey the russian government still had it out for him ,, so he joined the mercy division as a field agent and AGENT PROMETHEUS was born ,, a couple of years into it he was convicted into taking the gamma serum which gave him regenerative healing which helps out v much when he gets shot at or generally hurt

so yeah p much ya boy has been chilling at mercy as a field agent for eleven years and generally enjoying his time here given things can’t ever really get normal as a spy ,, but it was last year that bc of numerous influences, misha decided to accept the offer of joining the tactical agents and retire his days as a field agent.

personality wise ,, misha is v devoted to his job and does this hoe ever genuinely laugh or smile ?? who knows ,, i think there’s a rumor somewhere that he’s actually a robot. def gives into the slavic stereotype where ukrainian’s never smile ,, not to mention his father ingrained into him the ukrainian saying of Сміх без причини є ознакою тупості aka “laughter without a reason is a sign of stupidity” soooOOoo he’s just a bit stoic and has resting bitch face

doesn’t really realize he’s v blunt and forthright in his speak so he can come off as an asshole ( which 67% of the time he doesn’t mean ) ,, has the patience of a saint but if u push hard enough he’ll crack ,, a bit dry on the humor but can def be an asshole when he wants to. doesn’t trust a lot of ppl and it’s hard to earn his trust ,, word the only major ppl he’s trusted was a) his dad b) the security service of ukraine and c) now mercy so kudos on getting on his good side

has no contact whatsoever with his mother kateryna or his sister nadia ,, partially bc couldn’t keep up for security n safety reasons but also bc misha is p much dead to kateryna after following his father’s footsteps, getting involved in the whole mess of ukrainian / russian political n governmental affairs and also dropping his v tiny attempt of college before becoming a sleeper agent for ukraine ,, so ya boy is on his own so u can expect wALLS around him ,, bc u know ,, he don’t do emotional vulnerability or relationships  

[fracturcs-blog]

lmaooo. i’m so late fml aslkjksldk OKAY HI HELLO i’m snow and i’ll be playing the grumpiest grouchiest detective with a case of emotional constipation bc slytherin capricorns amirite. i’ll post the rest of my app below the cut and dive into the intro tag and message y’all for plots <33

* △ — the dark lord has targeted [ THABIT COLTON ] !  the muggles say he holds resemblance to [ XAVIER DOLAN ]. the [ 26 ] year old [ AGENDER ] was [ FOCUSED & AMBITIOUS ] before the war, but has now become [ PARANOID & PESSIMISTIC ]. though they were once a part of [ SLYTHERIN ], they have now taken up the position of a [ DETECTIVE AT THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT, AURORS’ OFFICE, INVESTIGATIONS DIVISION. ]. whispers throughout the ministry claim that the [ HALF-BLOOD ] is actually [ NEUTRAL ], but i wouldn’t report that to the daily prophet. ( snow, 21, gmt+3, she/her. )

HEADCANONS

⁂ name analysis :  

Thabit Colton.

Thabit -- a name that fit him like a bell, like a crown, like a shackle. Fixed, still, unchanging. For someone whose sights are ever set upwards, whose aspirations are always bigger, bigger, bigger, who’s always looking for ways to step up the proverbial ladder and take the prize set atop, Thabit’s stubborn pride and unmoving will have kept him from change. Kept him from moving, from changing, from budging -- he is a prodigy, that is true, a clever mind scarcely seen in this day and age, catching onto meanings and turning variables about and reaching conclusions many would flounder at for hours, but his thick skull and rooted pride have kept him from truly evolving, as a person, despite his many achievements and accomplishments in his field of work.

Colton --  A clearly british name that flows crookedly juxtapositioned with his first: clunky, he feels, when introducing his full name, even now as he’s reached his twenty-seventh year of life. Thabit Colton, half arabian and half british and it feels, to him, as though he is constantly in a battle with identity, as though he is always half something and half not, introducing himself as Colton with the professional air his occupation requires, introducing himself as Thabit when the air is not tense, when he is able to breath long and quiet and not pull his muscles so tautly all the time. Despite this, he is very fond of the culture his mother’s side of the family brings, perhaps more so than he was supposed to be -- the black and white movies she liked to watch so much, the arabian music she played in the background as she relaxed with a glass of wine at the end of a long day, the rice and grape leaves she’d prepared them when they were younger, the trips back to egypt they went on whenever they’d get the chance. it was all a part of him growing up, and he had loved every bit of it. Hesitantly, as though he was stealing sweets from a hidden jar that was not meant for him, but he loved it nonetheless.

⁂ gender and pronouns :

Thabit is agender, though he is yet unaware of this fact. Thus far he/him are the only pronouns he’d considered for himself and it’d be much too long before he would even begin to toy with other options. The concept of ‘gender’ had always been lost on him, like a dark void he can never see beyond but can only speculate at -- he knew the anatomy and the biology of gender, but what that meant for how people “should” act and interact with one another and how it affects the relationships of people had always been a mystery to him. He is frequently irritated by this, as he is always adamant in knowing things, but social constructs and behavior have never set well with him and he had always found it difficult to relate to his binary peers.

⁂ sexuality :

Thabit is demisexual, panromantic. The only times he had ever felt sexual attraction, it was towards someone who he’d developed an emotional attachment to beforehand, and even then his desire for sex had been inconsistent. He is not a particularly romantic individual and has an aversion of intimate relationships of any kind, growing distrustful of affectionate gestures that come from anyone not within his immediate family -- gender is not a factor in how he chooses romantic partners, however.

⁂ blood status :

halfblood. His mother is a muggleborn witch of egyptian heritage, his father is a white british wizard born to a pureblood family. Being a halfblood might’ve been easier on his brother, surrounded as he was with yellows and blacks, but Slytherin provided little room for self acceptance -- Thabit is at once proud of his halfblood status and ashamed of it. He knows his blood has no bearing on his skills and talents and he wastes no opportunity proving this to all those around him. he is rather attached to the culture his mother’s side of the family brings, the tv and the radio and the grounded, solid presence of unmoving photographs. He will not, however, discuss his blood status with anyone, it remaining a sensitive topic he continues to avoid, and will carefully not disclose his parentage to strangers upon their first meeting. or their second. or their third. he’d probably never mention it until you do in all honesty.

⁂ sorting :

Slytherin. This had proven itself to be difficult due to his halfblood status, made more so by his older brother’s placement in hufflepuff, but Thabit’s stubborn pride and relentless ambition would not steer him any other direction -- the Hat’s call did not linger, it’s decision made in mere seconds and leaving the eleven year old reeling upon the stool. he’d prepared so completely to be placed in ravenclaw. It had taken time for him to grow proud of his placement in Slytherin, but the first few weeks have been difficult, to say the least.

⁂ allegiance :

Neutral. Thabit’s views align more alongside the order’s, but his self-preservation and the dangers being an explicit part of this war posed on not only himself, but his family as well, is enough to keep him standing rigidly to the side of the conflict -- despite his line of work throwing him too close to the fire, he still holds fast to the state of neutrality and keeps his co workers at a distance. he is unsure how many of them are a part of this war, and less sure which part they would be on.

⁂ birthdate & zodiac :

December 31st, 1953. Thabit is the least spiritually inclined individual one would find and he will deny this to his dying breath, but the zodiac sign his birth falls under is as accurate as a sign could ever be --- capricorn, sign of the goat. Ambitious, and disciplined, and reserved. Pessimistic, practical, obsessive. These are traits that are so deeply ingrained in him it would be impossible for him to have been born under any other sign.

⁂ occupation :

Detective at the department of Magical Law Enforcement, Aurors’ Office, Investigations Division.

Perhaps there’d been traces of fancy yet to be found in 17-year-old Thabit’s mind, and perhaps the secret wish to be admired and looked up to as more than merely a half-blood Slytherin with a sharp wit and sharp tongue, the secret desire to be liked and to be regarded as something of a heroic figure, is part of what’s led him to where he is now. He’d entered the auror training program at the age of 18, eyes sharp with focus and jaw clenched against rising nerves. He graduated in two years, becoming an official auror at the age of 20, but it wasn’t long into his work on the field before he was moved to the department of investigation, his superior finding his skills better put to use elsewhere.

To say he is hardworking would be a gross understatement -- workaholic, married to the job, obsessed with the success of his career. He puts all his effort and passion into his work and has built his life surrounding it, has gained himself a reputation for being relentless and focused in his pursuits, had thrived on the respect this had garnered him among his colleagues -- he remains an unpleasant individual, however, and while he is respected for his skills and accomplishments he is hardly liked. Not that it matters to him, anyway.

AESTHETIC

Long robes that swing at the ankles; long nights bent over scrolls and books and names; a clever cat padding down in the dark; ink stained fingers; crooked glasses; cups of coffee; a tightrope, a balancing act, a careful way your breath is held; there is no place for you to be something whole; tongue swollen with cruelty and words that only know how to cut; pride is pride is pride is pride -- won’t you ever say you’re sorry? Won’t you see the love there is within you, the love you don’t know how to give? Clever, clever, but there is more to life than you might think.