#putting my film degree to good use lmao

[teememdee]

kahri as soulmates i love you 5ever

[saerotonins]

actor!yuuji & actor!sukuna headcanons

ft. itadori yuuji and ryomen sukuna 

content warnings: fluff, itadori twins au, overall cuteness, implied x reader (separated), jjk manga spoilers, characters are aged up to 20+

wc: 2.3k (jesus christ lol)

note: i miss my little actors so much lol. also, i think this is a bit too long, my bad 😭

jjk actor au masterlist

as twin actors:

believe it or not, jjk is like one of the roles that had them cast together 

both of them usually like to play different roles in different shows because they just don't want to be known as each other's twins

love that for them, they're so real for that

but when they were cast, they accepted it since the script and plot were interesting 

yuuji is a sweetheart inside out and sukuna is the quieter one between the two, sukuna is soft for his brother though so don't get fooled by his tough persona

yes, he is the older twin LOL and always holds it against yuuji just to be petty

"dude can you get me that can of soda?""why are you ordering your older brother around? have some shame"

yuuji just rolls his eyes but before he gets up and get it himself, sukuna will wordlessly stands up and does it anyway

checks on yuuji whenever he does intense fight scenes

both of them do the stunt themselves since they ate both so physically active

education wise, yuuji graduated as a marketing major and sukuna has a degree in physical therapy 

which explains why him and his brother always practice fight scenes together and he helps yuuji with his stance and warm ups!

it's adorable really and he's so tsundere about it too

"no not like that, put your legs this way dumbass" like that typa stuff

sukuna started off as a model but was later on casted because casting agencies thought he has that great villain face

yuuji started off as a side character and really likes acting (he is the theatre kid between the two and sukuna is the quiz bee kid, their mom is BOOKED and busy) and later on recognized because he's just THAT good

yuuji is usually a romance lead or 2nd lead and a slice-of-life guy so when fans found out he will be in an action show, they are excited!

sukuna on the other hand has been casted as a tsundere in romance shows, sometimes a bully and an antagonist in action shows, but a villain that is literally so powerful??? that is so new so his fans are anticipating 

both of them usually arrive on the set together (sukuna is the one driving btw and yuuji just sleeps during the trip)

yuuji prepares both of their bento boxes btw

sukuna loves it

he can cook, but that's it LMAO

he won't admit it but yuuji is the better cook

lowkey a picky eater so yeah

ACTOR!SUKUNA HEADCANONS:

sukuna is the intimidating one (obv) so when him and the other casts first met + the first few readings, it was sooo awkward 

turns out he's lowkey a goofy guy

has fun with his costars and helps them with fight scenes too, gotta put that physical therapy degree into good use

both him and nanami have this silent bond because whenever they're together they just don't talk and bask in the silence as they sit, they just peace amidst their crazy schedule

also an avid toji fan so when this guy found out he's in the same show with his idol he's almost shitting bricks

let out a really loud cheer when he found out and only yuuji knew about it LOL

has a deep-rooted respect towards him and it's sooo obvious whenever toji is around

he is such a fucking fangirl

he just thinks he's so badass and feels so honored to be casted in the same show as him

feels bad that he has to beat up almost everyone 😭 he is also a sweetheart deep inside

deep inside, he's such a caring and protective brother for yuuji because even though he doesn't have any scenes to be filmed, he still joins him on set whenever time allows him

he may not show it but he's sometimes lowkey terrified about fans tearing him up into shreds whenever he kills their favorite character 

imagine sukuna dripping big sweats by the time THAT episode with [redacted] aired oh my GOD he was so fucking nervous considering their fanbase is so big

yuuji has never seen his brother THIS nervous before and he's enjoying it

luckily though, not much hate happened and most of the time it's just memes and playful banter

his ass is barely on social media LOL

in the years of his instagram existing he only has like 90+ posts or even below 😭 usually it's just promotion, being an ambassador, magazine shoots— very lowkey 

doesn't have much digital footprint and i love that for him

whenever he posts, his fans are EATING IT UP since it happens every once in a blue moon lmfao

ACTOR!SUKUNA AS YOUR PARTNER:

as tough as he looks, he actually can be quite clingy, just behind closed doors though

lowkey feels bad when he has to beat up children (LMAO) and his co-actors and asks for cuddles from you for comfort

it's actually kind of adorable 

sometimes if his schedule doesn't allow him to have time to visit you, you'll get messages like "babe i just beat up megumi :(" 

since he's not active on social media, he knows some stuff online through you or yuuji

kind of a sad reason why he doesn't go online as much is because as tough as he looks, he's just a guy scared of the hate he's going to have just because he plays a villain or antagonist most of the time

he knows it's not his fault, he just knows that some people just don't know how to separate reality from acting

especially when that scene where he had to off a certain jujutsu sorcerer actor with a huge fanbase

oh boy was he so fucking scared and ran into your arms for comfort :(

he's a softie deep inside ok

when they have to go out of town or even overseas to film, he gets incredibly homesick and misses you so much 

expect a lot of "i miss you" messages, including selfies and candid pictures that he took around the set to

practicing his lines with you is close to impossible, this guy gets all blushy and shit because you're in front of him

and since most of his lines are mean as hell, he just doesn't want to be mean to you

he wants to impress you so bad but when you're around he just becomes a little high school boy with a big crush LMAO

he's such a sweetheart deep inside oh my god

when he decides he wants to post a new photo in his ig, you're the first and only person he'll ask for opinions

so this just means that most, if not all of his posts were handpicked by you

wears your matching stuff like accessories on set and gets sad when he has to take it off while filming

when he learned that his character would have face tattoos, the first thing he did was come home to you with his face makeup on (he had to ask his makeup artist to let it stay) and imitate it on your face

i have this headcanon that sukuna knows how to draw (and is very good at it) so it takes almost no effort to draw the tattoos on your face

you two then have a mini photoshoot (aka just taking a lot of selfies) with the both of you with sukuna marks on the face

it looks so cute that he made it his lock screen

he's lowkey such a sap don't let the character he's playing fool you

ACTOR!YUUJI HEADCANONS:

THE MAN THE MYTH THE BABY

he is literally a sunshine in or out of acting

so polite and so kind it's hard to hate him (not that he is even worth hating on)

so naturally, everyone on set loves to work with him!

unlike his brother, before acting, he doesn't really know a lot of fighting stance (he's a marketing major ffs lol) BUT ever since he was casted, he doubled up on his working out routine with the help of sukuna

even invested his time learning boxing which later on paid soooo much

can literally make everyone on set "aww" whenever his script requires him so cry or even witness a gruesome death scene *cough* nanami and nobara *cough*

during breaks, him and nobara do tiktok challenges and even those kpop challenges all the time and the crew enjoys watching them do it and the fans like it too

he does it too with choso and todo

this guy literally has 3 older brothers who are protective of him it's so cute

this man is so talented, he can cook, sing, dance, act, and is pretty smart too during his university days, it's so hard not to be in love with him

the greenest of the green flags (just like nanamin!) the girls the guys the folks LOVE him so much, literally the standard 

just like sukuna, he was fangirling so hard when he found out he's going to be in the same drama with THE nanami kento

he's such a big big BIG fan 

has a fan account of him on twitter that is pretty popular but you didn't hear that from me

it's so cute when they're together because they're literally THE father and son duo EVER

has the time of his life whenever he visits nanami and his wife's house and just chill there, sometimes brings his first-year trio besties too (both nanami and his wife don't mind at all)

aside from sukuna, he sometimes practices fight scenes with nanami too!

he is so active on social media 😭 interacts with as many fans as he can and posts all the time on ig and twitter 

has a lot of cute interactions with fans too

by extension, his account is sukuna's behind the scene account LOL

since his brother doesn't post a lot, sukuna's fans tune in to his posts and stories of sukuna behind the scenes or even just some pictures of him that he doesn't post

some of it are just pics of the brothers chilling or going out

yuuji is literally the sukuna fan's saint because of the amount of sukuna content he's giving them LOL

ok but don't get fooled by yuuji's sunshine personality, because he knows how to bite too

whenever he saw hate tweets his brother is getting for playing a villain, he is quick to respond and defend his brother

lowkey a nightmare for the PR team but they know where he's coming from

and despite sukuna telling him to just ignore it, he appreciates his little brother more than anything 

ACTOR!YUUJI AS YOUR PARTNER:

one word: ANGEL

he's literally so lover coded oh my goodness

leaves you some post-it notes on the fridge every single day before he leaves to film

if the trip goes on for days he will leave at least three long love letters for you to read when you miss him and he's busy

creates personal vlogs JUST FOR YOU so if the both of you can't facetime, you'll still know what he is up to

when he was contacted to be the main character of the show, he confided in you whether or not he should accept the offer

don't get him wrong, he is beyond grateful the people think he's capable enough to be the main lead but it makes him nervous 

this is his first main character role and the pressure of it all is heavy on his shoulders 

he asked for his brother's opinion too but he trusts you enough to talk about his feelings regarding this

of course, when you said that you'll be there with him in every step and support him all the time and do everything to keep the communication between the two of you going despite his soon-to-be hectic schedule, his heart is finally set on accepting the role

you are so proud of him! your baby finally getting the recognition he deserves? hell yeah

his busy schedule was never a barrier between the two of you, yuuji never forgets to update and call you whenever his time permits and he always appreciates every cheer you have given him

type of actor boyfie to show you off his social media platform!

he posts your dates and even hangouts with each other

his fans find it quite adorable and is in love with your whole relationship 

likes to do those couple tiktok challenges with you and post them online, you guys even have shippers lol

of course, if you're the lowkey type, yuuji would respect that and will only include you in his online shenanigans when you feel like it or allow him to post it

practicing lines with you is always exciting but never productive LOL

you both just end up giggling and laughing 

in the end you just both opt to cuddle instead (or even make our LMFAO)

yuuji just feels so lucky to have his ever-supporting partner along the way

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

good things about ep. 7:

this episode was by far the best at working with film as a medium. there were still issues, to be mentioned soon, but this ep did a lot of things that impressed me on a level of cinematic structure and format:

some actual tension!! simply showing the trio running from cerberus created investment and stakes for me in a way no monster fight or other obstacle had before (a matter definitely enhanced by the music)

the use of flashbacks!! now, i have some issues with the content of those flashbacks, but since im basically getting two degrees in assessing media i know how to give credit where credit is due lmao. these flashbacks were doing interesting things cinematically, creating parallels with percy's experiences in the present, especially that last flashback where they continued poseidon's voiceover into the present moment. fuck yes!! use the medium of cinema to your ADVANTAGE!!

related to the use of flashbacks, the match cuts!! they were so good, as they helped make visual those narrative and characterological parallels being constructed through the flashbacks. film is an inherently visual and auditory medium, and it was so refreshing to see the show experimenting and making effective choices with those tools

some issues with ep. 7 and the series as a whole:

i'll admit it. im tired of the trio already knowing everything about every obstacle they face (having to improvise in the fight with cerberus was so refreshing and retained more of the spirit of the book as opposed to uh. every other obstacle). and i think this connects with show's overall struggle with writing, adaptation, and the medium of film. these writers have committed the cardinal sin of assuming their audience always needs explanation. in any writing class (fiction and screenwriting are my personal expertise), you are told to assume your audience is smarter than you think, bc a writer's instinct is to assume they need to be clear about action and themes out of a fear of confusing their audience and the end result of that situation is a boring, overly explanatory piece of work. (an re the young viewers, kids are freaking smart!! i literally teach kids of the age range these books are directed for and they are so quick-witted. kids don't need stuff handed to them on a platter, they know how to put puzzle pieces together.)

example of the aforementioned "too much knowledge" issue: the pearls. (people have already explained the issues with medusa, the casino, procrustes, etc., so im going for a new one that's been bugging me a bit.) after percy received four pearls, the general conclusion people came to was that one pearl would break, forcing them to have to choose three people to go/one to stay and thus making the choice more "meaningful" (i.e. bc the opportunity to save everyone had been stripped). it's a fair choice, a fair reason, a fair analysis, and this is a change that bothers me but much more minimally than other changes to the show. here's the deal: the reason they had to give four pearls in the show was bc the trio already knew exactly what the pearls would do. there was no reason to give only three pearls bc that would force a character (probably percy) to raise the question of like "hey, that's not enough to save four people!" so where am i going with this?

in the books and the musical, we get the alluring line of what belongs to the sea can always return to the sea. percy gets three pearls in the book and a seashell in the musical, where he doesn't know right away the specifics of what this gift does (the seashell is an excellent example of adapting a story to a new medium, as a low-budget theatrical production can't afford the effects of smashing three pearls and causing people to vanish from the stage, so blowing the seashell to open a portal was a great move that worked for the new medium and retained the spirit of the source material - percy having an epiphany well after receiving the gift about what, exactly, the gift did and how it would help him). in the show, they issue is that they already know, thus creating the dilemma of there being no reason not to give four pearls. again, not the worst choice the show has made, but it's another example of how the show's most pervasive issue is over-explaining and giving too much information to its characters.

in short: the pjo show doesn't understand "show don't tell." they love telling even though "showing" is Most Important in film as a medium, like it's even more important to show what's going on in film than it is in prose because cinema is an inherently collaborative medium that generates a visually-dominated product. the show clearly lacks a fundamental understanding of the medium it is working with!! and that is bad!!

another issue: the lighting. this show suffers from the current trend in film to make dark scenes impossible to see in.

more characterological problems: the gods are not imposing. just to speak of ep. 7 alone, why was hades so... banter-y? in the book he literally makes percy's hand "move... against [his] will" to show him the pearls. there was none of that power and domineering energy in the show!! the pjo show keeps hammering us over the head with what should be a series-long revelation about the gods' flaws and pettiness and spite and misuse of their incredible power, and yet all of the gods seem almost like... caricatures. where is their ability to be charismatic and threatening. to be lax and powerful. to remind us that they can, have, and will kill demigods.

core thematic issue: the show lacks the humor and fun and adolescent spirit of the books. i've seen a lot of people insist the show is directed for young readers of the book, which i don't disagree with, but the lack of humor and energy and vitality is undoubtedly turning off a lot of younger viewers. in a lot of instances, everything feels so gritty and angsty, lowkey like the winx adaptation (but on a less severe scale). we have moments of sass/sarcasm, moments of levity, but it doesn't feel like a core trait of the show (much less of percy) like it does in the book. and honestly, i think that's a loss! if rick wanted a grim pjo adaptation, fine, but i wish the show hadn't been advertised as something perfectly attuned to the spirit of the book bc it's just not. if it was, i'd be laughing a lot more.

now, let's talk about sally...

i don't love how they've characterized sally in this show. i respect that they wanted to "modernize" her character and more accurately demonstrate the struggles of a single parent raising a child with learning (and in percy's case, also magical) difficulties. i genuinely do respect that choice, and i can follow the thorough-lines created in the show that illustrate this revamping of her character. similarly, i can respect that they didn't want sally to seem like a stereotypical "passive" victim of abuse re gabe, hence her explicitly pushing back at him. that said...

i still don't think these are effective or necessary changes, because i don't think sally was portrayed as overly passive or as a perfectly equipped parent in the book. i understand the argument that gabe is still presented as abusive, i.e. that he checks her phone without permission and controls access to the car, but those moments feel so technical. when i rewatch those scenes and examine the acting (both line delivery and bodily cues), sally is outwardly derisive toward gabe ("who's yancy?" / sally sighs and shakes her head, exasperated, has the long blink to give an extra beat before responding: "the school."), yet at the same time there's a banter between them, where sally insists that she's going to go to montauk no matter what, and if gabe disagrees then she won't bring back both their sandwiches for the knicks game that they apparently watch together often (implied by "you know i hate watching the knicks alone!" "so do i!"). sally holds herself confidently in this scene (hands on her hips). gabe is forced to actually ask politely for his sandwich order (and notably holds his shoulders slightly inward, visually closing himself off in a physical representation of surrender). two of my friends, diehard pjo fans who are not literature or film scholars, were both confused as to why sally and gabe seemed to be bantering within a seemingly standard relationship dynamic - not necessarily the happiest of couples, but a standard married couple (as opposed to clear imbalance of power between them in the book).

to be clear, it's not that sally needs to be a "passive victim of abuse," and it's certainly not that the show needs to explicitly depict gabe hitting sally or percy for us to understand that he is abusive. my issue is that the show seems to have not understood what made sally a strong character initially: her willingness to endure anything for her son, including marrying an abusive man who smelled so rankly human in order to prevent monsters from finding them. like, sally resisted gabe's abuse in the book! the reason blue food is a major motif in the first place is because sally and gabe had a fight where gabe insisted blue food wasn't a thing, and thus percy observes that "ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue."

in other words, verbally standing up to one's abuser is not the only way to demonstrate that a character is not a stereotypically weak, helpless, passive victim. it's definitely an easy choice with regard to cinematic staging (and the show has a pattern of taking the easy way out of conflicts and nuance), but i think the real issue is that sally's vocal protests come in tandem with the defanging of gabe. why does his body language and tone falter in arguments with sally? does he not have the upper hand? where is the evidence of an imbalanced power dynamic? there is no one way to write abuse bc the tragic reality is that abuse happens in an infinite number of ways, but nonetheless i am frustrated with the route the show went down in the first ep bc it feels reductive to the core of sally's character and her strengths: her endurance, her implicit but present rebelliousness, and her love for her son.

im also not a fan of some of the flashbacks we're getting with sally. it's not that sally shouldn't be "allowed" to get frustrated ever, but a major element of her characterization in the books is that she didn't take that frustration out on percy. i just don't see sally jackson getting upset that percy doesn't want to swim (beside that, i can't imagine percy not wanting to swim lmao). i just don't see sally jackson almost aggressively telling percy that he is the one making their goodbye ugly (because he's being a kid?? who doesn't want to leave his mom?? you're telling me sally wouldn't recognize the root of his anxiety immediately??). i just don't see sally speaking vaguely to percy about there being things she has to do that he doesn't understand instead of doing her best to meet percy where he's at with her explanation. if someone is coming to this show without having read the books, i genuinely think they might be starting to question sally's parenting, i.e. if she was really as wonderful a mom as percy insists or if he simply sees her through rose-tinted glasses. bc here's the thing: percy does see sally and his mom's struggles through rose-tinted glasses, and it's because sally bottles up and hides her struggles and frustrations from him. she doesn't let percy witness those frustrations. as such, there's an incongruity between book!sally and show!sally that doesn't mesh for me.

in short, show!sally feels like a new character to me. that's fine if that's the route they wanted to take, but again: why advertise it as a faithful adaptation if you're not going to be faithful to the core elements of central characters?

im also disappointed by how much the show has stripped annabeth of her character besides her intelligence. i have some thoughts about the adultification of young Black girls and the fact that annabeth is Black in the pjo show, mostly that i can't tell yet whether the show has the self-awareness to offer commentary on this reality for many Black girls through annabeth's character being seemingly defined by her intelligence and maturity or if they're simply unwittingly replicating this circumstance. i need more material before i can make a concrete assessment here, but all the same, i wish they were allowing these kids and especially annabeth to be kids - to make mistakes, to fall into traps, to have little crushes and get flustered, and to not know everything about every monster/obstacle before they come to face it.

people have talked to death the issue of the pacing so i won't belabor it but in general this show has terrible pacing. the first two eps are rushed (we got so little luke that im concerned his betrayal won't have much heart/meaning/oomph in the final ep), the constant unnecessary exposition creates periods of narrative drudgery, most of the fights lack tension bc the choreography is effectively nonexistent, them missing the solstice deadline has so far sucked the wind of the energy of their quest (of which there wasn't much in the first place bc the show did a poor job establishing the looming threat of a globally destructive war being on the horizon), and in general there's no sense of stakes. sigh.

i probably have more thoughts, but i'll stop for now bc i've got a shit ton of assignments to work on. in sum: the show lacks an understanding of how film operates as a medium, and while the merit of the show as an adaptation can be debated, it's simply a poorly constructed and lackluster piece of tv.

(but on the bright side? the trio is killing it even with the weak material they've been given, and their acting talent is the only reason i and many of my friends have kept watching)

[citylawns]

even ur tumblr page is mostly pretty models and people, lmao.

having beautiful people on my blog in the context of a pretty multifaceted blog doesn't mean I centre beauty in my life or base my entire self esteem on it. although it's something I'm thinking about a lot since I'm writing a book on it and using tumblr as a place for image reference. lmfao.

I mean the constant pressure to be more beautiful is always there don't, I'm pretty open about my relationship with beauty and how it is something we constantly are in flux with, and I am not against anyone engaging in beauty rituals, I just don't want women to sacrifice the fullness of their lives to be a vessel of beauty standards. women are starving themselves, mutilating themselves, sinking all their time and money into being pretty so they don't hate themselves and limiting their opportunities and richness of their lives because they literally hate themselves otherwise, and that's the ugliest thing I can think of.

that video was not saying "never appreciate beauty or have a complex relationship with it!!!!" it was saying in a very clear and compassionate way.... girl... get some other things going in your life because beauty is ephemeral and the way its being presented by skincare and make up companies is a con.

I'm just a girl with a blog and a lot of interests, that's why there's pretty people on my blog.

most days I get up and I write and read and go to work where I get paid sell and style clothes and I speak to my friends who are musicians and artists and we discuss politics so I have lots of things to base my self esteem on outside of how I look, but it actually does take a while to get here for a lot of people! beauty is currency as I keep saying, which means we have to take part in it to some degree to navigate the world. so no I don't put make up on for fun lol. I do it so people are nicer to me. even though I actually have a lot of privilege because of my body and face. I mean I literally get paid for having this body and face, modelling is such an amazing but ridiculous job. but I am not saving up for plastic surgery or buying into beauty culture in the way the video I shared is addressing, even though there's plenty of things society thinks I could get done!

I shared that video to help people considering the huge amount of messages I've been getting recently from insecure young women, and because it's something I have to keep reminding myself of since it used to be the only thing I based my self esteem on because of how I was spoken to as a young girl... we can be interested in beauty and fashion and also critique it. my blog also contains much much more literature,

art, music, architecture, photography, politics, design, films, shots and glimpses of other peoples life, my own personal reflections on how modelling and beauty and misogyny has affected my lived experiences, and plenty of things which do explore, exemplify and critique beauty culture as well as shocking vulnerability, body horror, negative consequences of celebrity culture, runway fashion and garments and outfits that inspire my style as well as runway history

some of you guys... worry me... because to me it seems like you can only grasp very basic concepts with only very polarising and differing GOOD and BAD concepts. but that can't be true. I really hope you are just being willfully obtuse and a hater because babe the world contains multitudes... we all contain multitudes <3

[indigosfindings]

tiff thoughts part 2

seeds was like. fine i guess? idk, it had some pretty composition & good scenery shots, and the style emulation of tiktok/IG was flawless (& i wish it had been leaned into more past the first act lol), but it overall parsed as kind of simplistic, directionless, punch-pulling, & budget-constrained. for as much of a thriller as it's trying to be, there's little sense of threat or escalation. some of the humour was pretty funny, esp when it (very intermittently) leans into internet-style jokes, but a lot of it was also reeeally dry

sharp corner was really, really good. an extremely tight character study. im obsessed with the sort of inversion of "defending the homestead" it presents. astonishingly realistic depiction of Main Character Syndrome with an unwaveringly meticulous & attentive rendition of the pursuant thought processes. the decisions wrt the rural scenery and the cast demography (eg the protagonist inviting himself to a black man's funeral as part of his entitled absorption of suffering) reaffirm my belief that the neuroses in question are best taken as, like, an extension--a really creative one!--of white supremacy & colonial fantasies of atomized self-sufficiency

ick was solid. the central theming (monster/infection as (in joseph kahn's own words) longstanding & festering in an embodiment of the modern culture of crisis (& also, like, stagnancy/alienation)) is surprisingly meaty but held back imo by the noncommittal tone. im 100% able to fuck with an insincere movie, but i think one is kinda kidding oneself to suggest that a film in the key of, like, 'scary movie' is meaningfully bringing light to any loftier ambition. the political satire is present but barebones, and the bothsidesy have-your-cakey insistence on attempting to skewer both the right and the left (plenty of Conspiracy Nut type jokes, and plenty of "Woke Soyboy" type jokes), while admittedly demonstrating a rare-among-filmmakers degree of awareness of The Moment (albeit putting that to little use), when combined with the solipsistic tone, ultimately gives 'south park' more than anything. i will concede tho that it does have some really funny moments ("im calling the president"), and i think it's worth a watch purely for the insanely idiosyncratic visual style--i cant overstate how much it aesthetically parses like a feature-length music video (feat. plenty of needledrop-as-punchline moments too!). it's 90 minutes but feels a LOT longer (and not even in a bad way!)

the assessment was fucking WILD, i absolutely loved it. insane performance from alicia vikander. clashing incentives make extremely compelling drama, & textual richness is mined from the high concept--im enamoured with the idea of two people, assured in the security of their own social position, running aground of an abusive state apparatus, and the pull-no-punches approach to painting the scenario in shades of perversion & violence only enriches it further... it's as if the movie begs the viewer to remember times & places & ways that they & others have been dehumanized, deanonymized, stripped down & humiliated as part of some system's function. the biggest weakness is prpbably that the setting--an overtly eugenicist dystopia--is BEGGING to cast a dozen more shades of gray over the narrative concerns wrt reproduction & reproductive futurism, but the screenplay doesnt seem to have been written with any interest in that. i was initially wary about the (VERY) detailed epilogue, but ive settled on feeling that it recontextualizes earlier suspicions in a way that is more to the film's benefit than not. also i was thrown off by the extent to which elizabeth olsen looks and sounds like caitlin reilly lmao

[dandelioncasey]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by @aspecbuddie (i never get to do these so thanks for the tag!)

1. Are you named after anyone?

Kinda wish I was, but no 😔 I did create my name out of my deadname though, so technically I guess i'm named after myself?

2. When was the last time you cried?

Well, i just got done watching yet another playthrough of What Remains of Edith Finch, so about five minutes ago

3. Do you have kids?

Don't have, don't want

4. What sports do you play/have played?

Don't play any sports anymore because my joints are buggered, but I've done basketball, netball, fencing, horseriding, archery, and probably loads more that I'm forgetting

5. Do you use sarcasm?

All the time

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably how close they are to me - my policy on personal space is that if i can hit you with my walking stick (accidentally or on purpose!) then you're standing too close lmao

7. What’s your eye color?

Brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

It depends honestly - I can't stand the kind of 'happy endings' that you get in romcoms (or any film with a romantic subplot, which is most of them these days!) but I also have yet to find a horror film that actually scares me (mostly they squick me at best)

9. Any talents?

Like skills or like party tricks? I can play violin, I'm very good at paperwork and pub quizzes, and I can count to ten in five languages and do the alphabet in BSL (and I can put my foot on top of my head thanks to the aforementioned buggered joints)

10. Where were you born?

Kettering! It's a town smack bang in the middle of the East Midlands (and no I am NOT from the North as one of my classmates accused me last year!)

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading fanfiction, playing the Sims and Slime Rancher, and watching so so many documentaries about the weirdest niche topics

12. Do you have any pets?

My sister has a German Shepherd who I unwillingly dogsit far too often for my liking (given that she doesn't pay me for it!), but I don't really have the energy to take care of myself let alone another living creature 😔

13. How tall are you?

177cm, so about 5'10"

14. Favourite subject in school?

This is so dumb but my school had electives which you would change every term and they took the PSHE spot on your timetable, so I can legitimately say that my favourite subject was, for one whole term, magic tricks 😂😂 but in all seriousness, probably history or sociology

15. Dream job?

Something working with children, like an LSA or a tutor - I just finished up a master's degree in developmental psychology, so something researchy which uses that would also be good!

no pressure tags (don't think I have fifteen mutuals lmao i'm just dragging these out of my notes!): @snarkymuffin @the-young-girl-of-casterly-rock @saryn-prime @i-am-unoriginal-posts @thatrandomautist @who-the-hell-even-are-you @ellie-you-idiot @emotional-water

[fairyspheres]

14 and 40!

14 What was an important, defining moment you’ve had with fish/aquatic animals?

probably when i worked at my local zoo on the bird and reptile unit! i was often assigned to the penguins (since my degree is marine bio) so got to see how they act up close. i later did my dissertation on those penguins and their behaviours. another moment would probably be when i fed sharks.

40 Share a pet peeve about something marine-related (e.g. a misconception, a portrayal or lack of portrayal of an animal, etc.) that drives you up the walls.

ohhhhhh man i have a whole list of pet peeves and irritants:

when films that include penguins in it can't even be bothered to research said penguin and continually call them by the wrong species name. there was a film i watched some time ago that was set in a zoo, and the protag was meant to be an ~expert~ on the penguins. except that the penguins in question were magellanic penguins and the protag kept calling them adelie penguins. the two look nothing alike and i spent an hour just fuming.

the vilifying of gulls in every day life. people call them flying rats and all sorts of names and there's so much hostile architecture put in place to stop them landing when really gulls are absolute sweethearts. if you have a lot of gulls (as you usually do when you live by the sea), you tend to have less of a rat population, which you'd think would be good, right? well, it's not good enough for most people apparently. they don't even see gulls as living beings half the time, just letting their kids kick at them. and they might be on the protected species list in the uk now, but it doesn't stop said hostile architecture from appearing. i want to burn any building that has it to the ground.

the use of the term 'seagull'. no such thing as a seagull. in marine bio they're just called gulls, with their other name before 'gull' (ie lesser black backed gull, herring gull etc).

SHARK PORTRAYAL SHARK PORTRAYAL. jaws has ruined the reputation of sharks and has severely harmed shark conservation efforts. great whites do not act like the jaws film says they do. if they bite a human, it's because they mistake them for seals or are just curious. no shark species acts the same as the other (greenland sharks don't act like whitetip reef sharks don't act like goblin sharks). the only shark that actually deserves a reputation of ferocity is the sandtiger shark, and they cannibalise their own siblings in utero. (also sharks are mostly ovoviviparous and give live births and i am tired of media not acknowledging this).

edit: i forgot my most rage inducing one: PENGUINS DON'T JUST LIVE IN ANTARCTICA. there are around seventeen officially acknowledged species of penguins and only two of them live in antarctica proper. the rest generally live in tropical areas.

sorry lmao i got carried away with the last question but i have a lot of rage in me about this subject. i subject everyone i meet to at least one of these rants.

ty for the ask!!! <3

marine biology ask meme

[or-ng-c-ss-dy]

my brain is broken today, i’m about to drink a fourth cup of coffee, and i’m ignoring every single one of my responsibilities for as long as humanly possible so

let’s talk porn au lmao, nsfw under the cut

au where dustin, needing to do something with his production degree, ends up responding to some ad for a small studio that ends up being a pretty low budget pornography studio. and he needs the money, and the work is fairly easy, he just stands around and films mainly women who also need money. and he gets sort of a reputation for being a good guy because he’s not some creep, he’s just there to earn some cash to live, he didn’t sign up to look at naked girls.

but, also, working in porn sorta kills porn for him. like he used to watch it like any guy, just some material to get off to but, now, it’s like work to him lmao. like he can’t watch a finished video without picturing some broke dude fresh out of college, standing there with a camera, getting that angle from behind that no one really likes, all while some other poor asshole fresh out of college stands besides him with a mic to get the fake moans of “ooo yes daddyyyy right there~”

anyway, he does it for long enough that he ends up getting a much better, much higher paying offer from a company with actual production value, some modicum of respect for the performers, and just less seediness all around. the studio just happens to be gay porn but that’s fine, he didn’t take the job to look at women, it’s just...now the people watching actually want to see that angle from behind, and the fake moans are deeper, it’s the same thing, there’s just two (or more) men.

first day on the job, he’s checking out the camera they’ve provided for him, a lot higher quality than the one from his old job. he’s messing around, zooming in and out, when he happens to zoom in on a hot lil bod, all abs and what looks like fuckin gils, and wow, this guy is good looking. he zooms out, sees blond and a trim little beard and pink pink pink lips, and dustin has to put the camera down to take in the whole picture.

“who is that?” he ends up asking his new co-worker, some guy similar to him, a little further out of college, needing money still.

greg’s worked there longer than him, and he looks at him for a long time like he’s stupid, which is annoying because the first words that greg said to him that morning upon first meeting was asking him if he sits or stands to wipe his ass.

“that’s jim. he’s like...one of the lead stars here, did you do no research?”

“...i’m not gay...” which doesn’t even sound convincing when he’s still looking at very pink lips, but greg doesn’t seem to notice.

“neither am i, man,” greg says, sounding way more sincere than dustin, “but still, you gotta watch a video or two to see what you’re working with.”

which sounds dumb because porn is porn, it’s work. he points the camera at the action and then someone edits it and posts it online. he’s used to being around dicks, so what if there’s more than one this time?

anyway, the whole thing freaks dustin out, he records hot little jim doing porn, all abs and slender hips, definitely fake moaning while he takes some guy’s dick only it kinda sounds real as it hits his ears, and then has to go home and do.....research.........

watching jim work doesn’t feel like work though, fisting the arms of his chair, pants too tight, and it’s going to be a real big problem for everyone involved, but mainly dustin!

[cam-cam]

12/16/22

🎵Song of the Day: When You Were Young----The Killers

Its 8 o’ clock and I’ve been taking it easy all day. I still have not washed my bedsheets. But I did go driving yesterday. I went and picked up my transcripts and handed it to my college. The next step is to register for next semester’s classes. At my old high school a teacher who I fucking hated (story for another day) tried to have a whole ass conversation with me in the parking lot and I just smiled and nodded. I plucked my eyebrows. I get compliments on my eyebrows’ shape all the time, but that’s because I’m so diligent with them. My right eyebrow is pissing me off. It’s all wonky and shit. I’m sure I’m the only one who cares but it still bothers me. 

I had fun with Sophia. We went to Fire house subs and then to the amc. Before that we went to Target. I never go to Target anymore. I got some lighters for my candles, some more charcoal toothbrushes, and encouraged Sophia to get some (she comments on my teeth being really white), some cartilage rings and the actual summers eve brand, whenever I ask my mom for some she gets the offbrand kind because its ‘cheaper’. There wasn’t much good playing at the amc because there never is. I told Sophia we wouldn’t have to buy tickets in advance because it won’t be crowded. Nobody goes and sees movies anymore, for many reasons. We went to see Violent Night. I knew it wouldn’t be that good. We were kind of debating seeing ‘A Strange World’ or whatever that movie is called because apparently its really woke and we wanted to just make fun of it. (shes the only friend I’d be able to do that with). I reallyy wanted to see Black Adam. I’m a huge dc fan and I saw a clip of that one scene playing ‘Paint it Black’ (love that song)

Violent Night was good to see as a Christmas movie, but it was not a good movie. At least we didn’t give any money to disney. Sophia only bought one ticket so we could just find which theatre was playing it and I snuck in with the small popcorn she wanted. It was funny because when we went in there was a couple our age sitting in the back, clearly pissed that we were there. Sophia hated the movie and I said “I told youuu”. She insisted we see it. We kept looking backwards to see if the couple was doing anything lmao

I didn’t go jogging this morning like I did yesterday morning. Let me jog tomorrow morning. 

Its been like 40-50 degrees consistently the last three days, accompanied by rain. If you don’t think thats bad youre fucking delusional. Its been cold as shit. 

So a little update on the bus biting situation at my old high school. Apparently the vp didn’t get into any trouble (i know shocking). He didn’t do anything wrong. Ofc everyone is still trying to make it a race issue. My old high school has always been like this. Filled with mindless fucking animals. I’ve witnessed everything there. I personally filmed a video of a girl getting her shit rocked by a guy twice her size. I still have it deep in my camera roll along with a bunch of other fight videos. I got into two fights myself. Ofc with other girls. My freshman year this nasty weird girl in my fake friend group gave a dude head behind the staircase. Someone recorded it and started spreading it. It took a while to actually get out. Because I remember her confiding in us about it. I wasn’t really close with her (she would occasionally try to talk to me before it happened and I was always nice because thats who I am). I remember after it got out and around lunch time everyone was staring at her and at us by extension. I got to tell all the classes all the juicy details because I knew all about it. 

Anyway let me stop talking about my nasty old high school. I’m going to get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to go jogging, FINALLY put up my Christmas tree, and register for spring classes. Let’s manifest it.

[inkykeiji]

omg goodfellas!!! i heard it’s a good movie and i was contemplating on watching it for a long time should i watch it?! i’ve been slacking on watching films cuz of anime and i wanna get back on my game hehe -🐰

i love it so so so much hahahahaha i recommend everyone watch goodfellas tbh 😌 it’s an incredible film!!! there isn’t one thing i don’t like about it ehehe

tho i find with scorsese you either love or hate his films tbh; i love goodfellas, i hate mean streets, i love the wolf of wallstreet, i fucking hate the irishman etc etc

omfg please bunny i beg you please come talk to me about films any time

[ceasarslegion]

That breaking bad shitpost reminded me of the time one of my college friends told me it was irresponsible of my parents to let me watch breaking bad when it was still airing because i was 10 at the time it premiered. Thing is, im no fan of a lot of the ways i was raised, but the way i was exposed to media growing up i actually do agree with.

I've said this before, but both of my parents have always been massive horror fans. Part of why they started initially dating was because they finally found someone who wouldn't cower away from blood and guts. They never hid this passion of theirs from me, they just made sure I understood what I was looking at before they would put up their framed BTS photos of The Evil Dead or Halloween. That they were just photos, that there's blood in them because the movies had blood in them, that they're just movies and those characters aren't real.

I definitely think growing up in a horror stan household has a very different approach to media exposure than others simply because they have a different attitude towards things that are too extreme for most other viewers. Horror is in and of itself an acquired taste, after all. I can't count how many times my friends have thought it was deeply strange to borderline disturbing that our family movie nights involved slashers and psychological terrors. But the thing is, the kind of media my parents enjoy i very much believe set the stage to how i was exposed to things growing up.

They didn't really,,, believe in the rating system, if that's the right word to use. They saw it as a general suggestion rather than a concrete thing. And as a side note, as I would go on to get a film degree in my future, I'm glad they did, because the history of the modern rating system is extremely mormon, for lack of a better term.

But anyway, instead of adhering to an outside source telling them how to raise their kid, they instead took it in the direction where as long as I understood what I was seeing, I had the emotional and moral intelligence to know the difference between right, wrong, and when shit was complicated, and it didn't have any negative effects on me, I was allowed to see it. Full stop. To help that process along, I could ask them any questions I had about whatever I was watching, reading, or playing, we could have open and non-judgmental discussions about my own interpretations of these texts, and they never put any parental locks on things like my netflix profile and would send me to EB Games with signed notes saying they'd allow me to buy M-rated games with my allowance if I wanted them. Very few things ever got taken away from me, if any. I can't really remember anything off the top of my head, other than just not being allowed to talk to strange adults on the internet or give out any personal info, which I think was the only hard limit they placed on my media consumption. But that was an actual safety issue, not anything to do with this idea that I couldn't handle seeing morally dubious things depicted on-screen. In fact, my parents thought the rating system was kind of insulting to my emotional and moral intelligence lmao.

So yeah, I watched breaking bad as it was first airing, and yes, I was 10 when it first began. Which would probably make a good chunk of this site explode into discourse about how problematique that is and how it made think bad things were good, actually. But the thing is, my parents knew from their own firsthand experience with horror that just seeing dubious things doesn't inherently damage your psyche or alter your sense of right and wrong. So instead of adhering to this outdated and extremely generalized idea of what kids should be exposed to at what age, they instead actually talked to me about the things i wanted to watch and made sure I understood what they were, and that I had enough critical thinking skills to engage in them without negative consequences. As long as those two things were met, I could consume whatever media I wanted.

Fuck man, on the breaking bad topic I remember one time hearing my mom say "I would rather he see people having sex than killing each other, but he watches breaking bad anyway" regarding my interest in game of thrones in the 8th grade.

Anyway, the point here is that although there's lots of things I have beef with regarding my parents, their approach to my media exposure I think was a hell of a lot better than this webbed site's approach of "if you're under 18 all sex drugs and violence will TRAUMATIZE you and if you don't portray ONLY goodness and clear right and wrong actions your audience will thing BAD things are actually GOOD regardless of their age sometimes"

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[sweetestberryofthebunch]

1, 2, 3, 11, 14, 19, 23, 24, 29, 31, 34, 38, 42, 43, and 46. id say im sorry but i am not. i want to know more hehe

Oh sweet JESUS! Everyone will hate you for giving me the opportunity to talk so much lmao Let’s get to it I guess :0

1: What are your comfort characters?

Sally McKenna and Misty Day. Rosa Diaz. Black Widow. Willam in A Star Is Born. Every little bitch from the Hobbit/Lord of the rings. Cheddar the dog and Lil Poundcake.

2: lighter or matches?

Matches!! I have literally lit blunts with a match lmfao

3: do you leave a window open at night?

YES! As Long as possible at least, once we reach huge minus degrees I can’t do that anymore so I leave it open as long as possible and only close right before sleep. I need the air or I can’t sleep that well lmfao.

11: favorite extracurricular activity?

Theater and Choir, I was one of those bitches :3 I also wrote articles for the campus newspaper but that got shut down when I was a junior cause we were only three people left :(

14: do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

YES I live for shit like that. Gimme that earthy smell, I could swim in the mud.

19: imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

I’d paint tiny motifs on them :3

23: how do you feel about chilly weather?

Stunning as long as I can be inside most of the time.

24: if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

Smoke a blunt, you’d have to listen to me info dumping about astronomy and stars. I’d ask you deep questions about your wildest dreams an shit. We could sing some Fleetwood Mac 🥺

29: how do you like your shower water?

Hot hot hot in winter, ice cold after working out or in the summer :3

31: what type of music keeps you grounded?

Not to be a fucking emo but definitely the older twenty one pilots albums 🥺 I have a playlist with songs I can hum when I start to dissociate or have a panic attack coming

34: is there a song you know every word to by heart?

Read U Wrote U

38: a soap bar that smells good?

Lavender or basil!

42: an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

Definitely documents and stardew valley mobile!

43: what’s your take on spicy foods?

I love them in Theorie but I’m a baby so I put lots of cream in to weaken the spice ;-;

45: favorite holiday film?

It’s a Christmas tradition to watch all lord of the rings movies for my dad and I often join.

[serovolk]

uhhhh 2 am shoes and status in major grom: plague doctor lets go ! this is just a collection of my thoughts about some of the cinematographic choices so no real meaning besides my brainworms . idk how coherent this will be trying to write seriously makes me embarrassed 

(just before i start note sergey wears one pair of sneakers the whole film even at fancy events)

sergeys expression of class and wealth is entirely for himself. instead of putting energy into performing class elsewhere, like how he dresses or accessorizes, sergey wants to be known for his achievements and tries to stick to a simpler style. 

what differentiates him from the other upperclass characters in the movie is that he uses his status for good, by creating a network for self improvement and donating to his childrens home. creating vmeste and donating are the two facets of his wealth he feels comfortable sharing. the first will allow him to be reognized for what hes done, and the second is a more private type of investment that people arent likely to ask about. hes not donating to keep up his image, but rather because its a cause he wholly supports. 

his past is something he will never fully put behind him, and in a sense, his sneakers are one of the constant reminders of how far hes come. 

some of the more memorable shoe scenes in the movie are from the casino, which opens with this shot of bekhtievs shoe:

and then later feature this conversation

where sergey makes a pretty big deal of putting his feet up on the table, clearly showing off his sneakers. its a bit of a power play, because not only is he much younger than bekhtiev, theyre of the same social status, and sergey has managed to build his own fortune at an early age. also its like hes putting his sneakers on a fancy table. so theres that too. but it forces bekhtiev to acknowledge his status and the fact that this is what new money looks like (sergey the up and coming tech guy with his tennis shoes at a casino opening with the richest people in russia in attendance). sergey is almost stepping on bekhtiev in this scene, and in fact we see that bekhtiev has to let out more oxygen when sergey starts talking to him. 

the casino scene ends, but its not the last time we see it. the final shot of the casino is a day or so later, and it directly parallels the opening scene (sorry i dont have a screenshot of this one) as bekhtievs shoe burns in the middle of the floor. his death doesnt show him as a human, but rather as a symbol of wealth and status falling into irrelevance. 

turning away from shoes for a minute again but as i said before, all of sergeys class performance goes into fulfilling his own desires. his office is full of art that he wanted to see as a child (comics) and now he has the power to possess works that were otherwise going to remain photos in a book. the rest of the world knows hes rich, but they dont know what he cares about or what makes him more than just another billionaire. 

to a degree i feel movie!sergey doesnt even want to be that rich, it just happened as a byproduct of him wanting to fulfill his dream of having art and refreshments/relaxation in his life. 

not sure how to close this out lmao but yeah thats my 2 cents about it all. sergeys presentation and appearance directly contrasts that of the old money characters and serves as a reminder of his past ... or something im not reading this over again so maybe it doesnt even make sense 

[anunvalidcritic]

Justice League: Snyder Cut

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

Oh, the time has come my friends! Now, I originally did a review on Batman V.S. Superman and I didn’t care for it, so I deleted it. But before I start, I would like y’all to read this statement made by @verified-villain-fxcker - You can click HERE to read it. As I stated in my repost, I couldn’t have said it better. May Autumn Snyder continue to rest in peace. Let’s get started!

It’s been so long since I’ve made a post I can’t even remember how I do this LOL.

CLARK is outta there to say the least...

WONDER WOMAN and LOIS look flabbergasted, as they should... BRUCE as well.

Talk about a shock-wave scream 

All jokes aside, the hate that LEX has towards SUPERMAN is just to much energy to be giving to another person..

THESE BITCHIES ARE READY

why are they letting a minority approach the fucking the cube?!?!

*insert travel montage scene here*

                      Part 1 - “Don’t count on it, Batman.”

BRUCE knows damn well he’s talking to AQUAMAN. Let’s move this shit along lol

“Oh Gotham? How’s that shit hole?” - AQUAMAN

Ik these bitchies aren’t singing rofl

I’d sniff anything wore by Jason Momoa too.

“Maybe a man who broods in a cave isn’t cut out to be a recruiter.” - ALFRED

TALK YO SHIT ALFRED!!!!

AMY ADAMS can literally take my heart, step on it, throw it in a river and I still wouldn’t be mad. 

Here comes the lovely WONDER WOMAN!

broooo her hands were moving like Donnie Yen in Ip Man!

Fucked that entire ceiling up

Ofc the one who tried to touch it would make the stupid statement. 

STEPPENWOLF is really wildin’ out

Don’t look back! I hate it when they look back!!

These are some strong as women!

                             PART 2 - “The Age of Heroes”

“It’s toxic, that’s good.” - STEPPENWOLF

I can only imagine that this is how toxic people think. 

this dude really just threw that lil demon fella like it was nothin’ lmao

You know you're working at a job for too long when you say this is the first time in a while that they're going home early smdh

Now that shit was pretty lit....

SILAS thinkin’ shit I better check on my son. 

“You know a lot about monsters, don’t you? Especially how to make them.” - CYBORG

If that isn’t teen angst, then I don’t know wtf is lmao

Seeing Gal in this tomb makes me want to re-watch Wonder Woman 1 all over again!

DARKSEID ol’ trifflin’ ass

plopped him down like he was dirty laundry

God bless Willem Dafoe, this man is a fuckin’ legend!

“This world is divided. They’re a primitive species. Unevolved and at war with one another. Too separate to be one.” - STEPPENWOLF

DeSaad kinda looks like Doctor Doom in the Fantasic Four reboot lmao

GREEN LATERNS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!

we really need a Green Lantern Corps moving...

ZEUS + ARES = A Dynamic Duo When They Aren’t Being Dicks To Each Other

You know I feel bad for man because all they did was bury that shit in the ground rofl

                  Part 3 - “Beloved Mother, Beloved Son”

BARRY + IRIS = Love at First Sight 

The burger can’t be that good like damn. 

Bro the detail on his fucking shoes and the glass!!

ROFL PLEASE TELL ME HE TOOK THE HOTDOG FOR HIS DOG!?!? 

damn did the car really need to explode...

lol BARRY must really need the job lol

... I would’ve just played dead after he threw me against that rock...

Man of Steel probably has one of the best soundtracks not just for a superhero movie but just in general

Americans love their football!

I have this love-hate relationship with CYBORG being in the JL and not with the TITANS you know since he’s a kid, but he’s a college student in this one. 

Thank God DIANA spoke with VICTOR instead of BRUCE because I honestly don’t think he would’ve gotten him on board.

Everyone can literally zigzag zoom across this planet at undeniable speed except for BATMAN lol

Come on, VIC, help the lady out.

You know honestly, BARRY has a pretty cool pad for someone who's trying to get by paying for a Criminal Justice Degree. 

“A very attractive Jewish boy. Who drinks milk, I don’t drink milk.” - BARRY

“Fuck the World.” - CYBORG

dang Ik DIANA has every right to grieve over STEVE, but damn that man has her whipped!

“You’re looking at the hottest thing on Earth. The exact same thing I said to my prom date. She dumped me anyway.” - RYAN CHOI

Why does MERA have an accent in this but not in AQUAMAN?? (ik the answer)

DAAAYYUUUMMMN MERA TURNED INTO A WHOLE BLOOD BENDER!

                               PART 4 - “Change Machine”

CYBORG just glided over silently

STEPPENWOLF + WONDER WOMAN = EPIC FIGHT SCENE

Seeing BARRY move like that to stop the debris and to ping DIANA’S sword really is amazing..

But he should not be screaming like that LOL

How do you not remember the planet that’s habitants almost killed you?? Because if that was me, I wouldn’t have forgotten that shit at all!

 Would've held a big ass grudge until I could go back. 

“I know we’re all thinking the same thing right now. Who’s gonna say it? I’m not gonna say it.” - BARRY

WOOOAAHHH J’ONN JONES?! (forgot about that)

 “There are six, not five. There is no us without him.” - BRUCE

Damn, no faith at all 

                         PART 5 - “ALL The King’s Horses”

ICONIC DIALOGUE

BARRY - “Wonder Woman. What do you think, man? You think she’d go for a younger guy?”

VICTOR - “She’s 5,000 years old, Barry. Every guy is a younger guy.”

I would’ve kept swippin’ that ID like a cashier at Wal-Mart swippin’ a debit card.

They're movin’ a little too slow for me. Ik they’ve never been on the ship before, but I would’ve been zoomin’ through that entire ship just to hurry and get the job done. 

NOT THE PREGNANCY TEST

Damn, they couldn’t have at least picked up the photo??

The foreshadowing was spectacular! It will always amaze me. 

I’m sure Allstate will cover that person’s car...

Just when LOIS was about to move on. 

CLARK grabbed DIANA like miss me with that Rafiki shit.

I would’ve come back to my senses too after looking at Amy Adams. 

AQUAMAN + THE FLASH = A CONUNDRUM

DR. SILAS takin’ one for the team

                              PART 6 - “Something Darker”

As crazy as radiation is, it’s quite an amazing spectacle.

I wish this Justice League movie could’ve held off until we got some other heroes such as the Green Lanterns, Hawkgirl, and many others. 

Our generation was truly blessed to have an incredible actor as SUPERMAN, and we are not putting him to use!

JONATHAN sounds like President Biden lol

Alright, team?! Break!

AQUAMAN is totally enjoying this fight. He rode that Parademon like a surfboard.

AQUAMAN + CYBORG + FLASH = *THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN*

I swear every scene that WONDER WOMAN enters into does not fail to include the “Ancient Lamentation Music”. 

VICTOR hurry up and say “one” god damnnit!!

SUPERMAN COLD!!!!

Somebody needs to put this fight on WorldStar

BARRY = HE’S A RUNNA HE’S A TRACK STAHHHHARRR!!!

THAT WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

The Unity  = The Three Bitchies

I bet DARKSEID will remember that shit now

                        EPILOGUE - “A Father Twice Over”

VICTOR = A Final Requiem

LOL VULKO and MERA look stressed tf out!

“Uh, I have too much to live for. And more important things to do.” - LEX

A cocky motherfucker LMAO

Alright, we’re back in this type of dream sequence. 

“Who have you ever loved?” - MERA

Uh, bitch his parents, Robin tf?!

Thank you, JOKER, for stating the facts for Ms. Fish-stick

 Oh shit, they let LOIS die, goddamn it!

HARLEY’S DEAD TOO?!?!?!

BRUCE LOOK SICK AF!!!

Well, the dream is over once again...

I just don’t see how people can live with all those fuckin’ windows. 

“Oh, and some have called me The Martian Manhunter.” - J’ONN

Alright...

________

Yes, the movie was long but what needed to be expressed was. As we already the Snyder Cut wasn’t supposed to be seen because a father simply wanted to grieve the death of his child. I’ll once again reiterate what @verified-villain-fxcker you don't have to like the film but at least give it the benefit of the doubt from its predecessor. For me, I did enjoy watching his version, but let’s be honest what he who shall not be named did was just fucked up.