#putting a readmore cause this shit got long

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

I posted 3,773 times in 2022

1,742 posts created (46%)

2,031 posts reblogged (54%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@youvebeenlivingfictional

@massivecolorspygiant

@foxilayde

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@blueeyesatnight

I tagged 2,824 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#asks - 898 posts

#replies - 884 posts

#anon - 484 posts

#not fic - 229 posts

#mine - 209 posts

#dany whines - 208 posts

#relative dating - 118 posts

#ask meme - 116 posts

#requests - 78 posts

#dany watches things - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#okay i’m done ranting i’m just so over people going ‘she’s boring' or 'she's naÏve and sheltered' like....yeah. that's the point.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I’m jumping on the baby fever train! Choo choo. But I don’t have any money for a ticket. I’m a transient riding the rails with my stick and bindle. all I can offer you is half a tin of beans and the company of a scraggly dog that follows me on my travels. I’ll let you pet the mutt I’ve named Sparkplug if you’d be so kind to spin me a little yarn about Santi having a baby with a reader with whom he had a one night fling…. *shakes can of beans at you* I’ll even let you have the first bite o beans.

Why thank you!! I will let you take the first bite of beans if I can sit next to Sparkplug. May I call him Sparky?

Alright, heat those beans up while I weave this tale (this tale that got too long, oh my god I hope the beans are still warm)

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, angst, ends in fluff

It's hard to tell Santiago what happened

He gave you his number, but he did so in a way that he obviously doesn't expect you to use it.

It was in like a passing, 'let's get dinner some time' but said in a way that he clearly never expects to see you...Ever again.

So when you use the number, when you call and not text, he sounds confused. Confusion melts to flirty intrigue, jokes about coming back for seconds.

You ask him to meet you for coffee. You barely know this guy, this is big news. A public space would be better.

Santiago comes in all cocky, grinning. He must assume you're gonna fuck in the bathroom.

You wait until he's two sips into his coffee to tell him that you're pregnant.

You try not to be too offended when he asks, "Are you sure it's mine?"

"You're the only person I've had sex with since, like, last year, so...Yeah.”

Santiago leans back in his seat, eyes sweeping your face before he turns back down to his cup of coffee. You can see his jaw working.

"What do you wanna do?" He asks.

You've been asking yourself that since you found out. You haven't told anyone in your family about this, none of your friends. You've been stewing and worrying alone.

"...I don't know." It comes out of you quietly, shaking like a rattle.

Santiago doesn't coddle you. He doesn't tell you that it's going to be alright. He just tells you that he'll support whatever you wanna do.

"What if I wanna have it?" You ask.

"I'm not gonna try and stop you."

"Would you want to be involved?"

Santiago sighs, and your chest twists with discomfort. You have to stop yourself from raising your hand to protectively and defensively rest on your stomach.

“With what I do, I’m not...I don’t spend most of my time in the States.”

“What do you do?”

“Is that important?”

“That’s a pretty stupid question if I’m gonna have your kid.”

Santiago grimaces, leans in and lowers his voice, and tells you.

It’s startling, but not wholly surprising. You’d seen the scars, the dog tags.

“Look,” Santiago adds. “I’m just—I’m trying to set your expectations here. If you decide to have it, I’m not necessarily going to be around.”

“No, I—” You shake your head. “I appreciate it. Seriously, I do.”

See the full post

647 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

#4

writing an indulgent fic that no one asked for and no one will read

also it saying 'the me' was intentional 😂

764 notes - Posted March 1, 2022

#3

Heartless

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Rating: T

Notes: I feel like I’ve been sitting on this for an age. Anyway, here we go. Not beta read. I reread it like 18 times but I’m sure I’ll spot 28 typos and tense-shifts the second I post.

Length: 11.9K

Warnings: Angst, cursing, death of a parent, mentions of homelessness and hunger, fluff

Summary: When you landed at the Resistance base on D’Qar, you had nothing but the clothes on your back, your mother’s heart pendant, and fifteen credits in your pocket. 

Growing up on a remote and impoverished homeworld meant that you were raised with very little. You and your mother worked hard for the scraps that you managed. When she presented you with a grey heart-shaped pendant, you knew that she must’ve scraped and scrimped to save for it. She swore to you that she’d save enough for you to have a chain to wear it on one day.

But when the First Order swept through your corner of the galaxy, they took everything that you’d ever known: your home, your school, your friends—your mother.

All that you had left of her was your memories, and your grief, and the heart-shaped pendant that you carried with you every day.

You didn’t find your way off of the planet right away. It took time—to find and repair a functioning vessel, to concoct a plan to get off of the planet undetected, to get out of your system and into another. Once you’d landed on a friendly planet, you’d managed to get work as a bartender, a mechanic, a washerwoman—whatever you could manage. There were some nights when you couldn’t find work, others when you couldn’t find food. You knew that the pendant in your pocket would be able to buy you a bit of what you needed, but you wouldn’t part with it for the world.

It was a year before you met a pilot that would change your life: a Dandoranian named Jess Pava, who you helped out of a tight squeeze with a few Stormtroopers.

“You got anything keeping you here?” She asked as she’d readied herself to take off of the planet that you were both lingering on. And you didn’t. You hadn’t found a steady position, or a stable dwelling, or made any friends. You had nothing to lose. 

When you landed at the Resistance base on D’Qar, you had nothing but the clothes on your back, your mother’s heart pendant, and fifteen credits in your pocket. 

Pava didn’t seem put off by the fact that you were a little on the quiet side, a little guarded. You knew your way around a hydrospanner, and you knew your way around a blaster. Not everyone on base was as unbothered by your standoffish nature.The rest of Black Squadron—Pava’s unit—was very friendly. After she introduced you around, they left you be, for the most part.

For the first few weeks, Poe Dameron would not leave you alone.

Maybe he thought that you had some hard, icy shell that could be melted. Maybe he thought that someone just needed to show you a little kindness, and you’d open right up. But you were at a point in your life where you were determined not to allow anyone into your life or heart again. You’d never forget the sound of your mother’s voice frantically telling you to run—the thought always made you reach into your pocket and curl your fingers around the pendent.

Letting yourself be taken under Pava’s wing was bad enough. You felt beholden to the pilot—found yourself trailing her like a lost little tooka when she was on-base, worrying about her when she was off. You took charge of minding and fixing her ship, running her errands and messages. You knew that Dameron saw that. He teased you for it, too—though, not meanly.

“What’s Pava got that I don’t, anyway?” He asked, in one of his innumerable attempts to get on what he must’ve thought was your good side. You hardly looked away from where you were working on repairing the hyperdrive.

“She saved me,” You answered, voice quiet and matter-of-fact. When you turned to reach for the laser caliper, you saw Dameron’s typically blaster-proof smile waver in the face of your answer.

“Do you have anything better to do than stand there?” You added as you turned back to your work. He had left without another word. 

--

Poe Dameron stopped trying to be your friend months ago. You were fine with it. Sure, there was some part of you that twinged with what could only be described as loneliness on late, sleepless nights in your bunk. But in your time at the Resistance, you’d come to feel that life anywhere in the galaxy was as fleeting as it had been on your planet. Lives could be lost in the blink of an eye.

So when you passed the usual groups of people in the canteen—when you spotted Dameron holding court, as he was wont to do—you ignored him, and them, and the gnawing bitter loneliness in your stomach. You told yourself that it was safer to be alone than it was to grow attached to anyone—because any of them could be gone tomorrow, and then where would that leave you? Just as alone as you were at that moment, and twice as aggrieved. 

--

To say that you found General Leia Organa intimidating would be an understatement. She had a commanding presence, one that drew everyone’s attention. She’d met your eye a time or two in the hall, offered you a smile—and you’d found yourself offering smiles in turn almost unwittingly. There was something about General Organa that reminded you of your own mother—something that made your chest ache with sadness and wistfulness when she offered you a smile. 

--

“...Do you need help?”

You couldn’t believe that you were asking it, you really couldn’t‚ but there you stood, toolbox in hand. The man’s droid recoiled, unleashed a confused beeeeeep?, just as its owner lifted his head from his work.

“Jess’ ship all set?” He asked. You knew from Dameron’s tone that he was teasing you. You didn’t respond, because you didn’t want him to get used to this. You just shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot, and waited for him to wave you in or tell you to go. Dameron cast you one more look before he raised his hand just long enough to direct you to the nose of the ship: “I need a hand with the sensor window.”

See the full post

877 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#2

Matt Murdock: I've been listening to your heart

You, bashful: Oh...

Matt Murdock: Baby girl, you got arrhythmia

You: Oh.

954 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

5,940 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I'm in my feels about how the way ghosts interact with the world and each other affects Edwin and Charles as sensory seeking and sensory avoidant neurodivergents.

While it's already hard to understand the dynamics of ghostly interactions with their environment at play I'm pretty sure of these things. So we know that Edwin and Charles don't feel items and other alive people the same as they would alive. It's a different touch-based-sensory-less experience(?) at least that's what we know. And we know that they can feel other supernatural beings and each other, differently. I'm in the camp of its basically the same as normal human sensory touch but that could be argued a bit. However we're sticking with that both for the sake of this post and cause I want to.

This analysis got long as shit so readmore it is

Now we see Edwin being very touch avoidant with relatively everyone (besides Niko and Charles) and we see Charles being touch seeking with just about everyone. This makes sense to me under the fact that they as neurodivergent beings both have their more usual "resting state" on the touch-sensory-acceptance scale where Edwin generally rests at the sensory avoidant side and Charles rests at the sensory seeking side.

The implications though of how the fact that you can't really feel things through touch the same way as you would alive really gets to me though. Because you might think that without the sensory part of touch there wouldn't be anything to activate the neurodivergent avoidance right? Well obviously this is not the case for Edwin as we see him from the beginning tolerating touches from Charles and no one else. Then we gain Niko too as someone he appreciates the touch of. And if he can't really Feel the alive people, like Crystal, the same that means that the new ghost touch sensory experience also triggers the touch avoidance. And we see Charles practically touching anyone and (anything) who will let him which means the ghostly touch also triggers touch seeking. So does this mean that under DBDA dynamics neurodivergence finds a way to still be sensitive to sensory experiences under any circumstance? Both in avoiding and seeking it? Does this mean that it's more of a mental thing than the actual 5 senses of it? This is so interesting to me because I've often thought that having the ability to turn off and on sensory capabilities would be LOVELY for my mental health (I have ADHD) I'm not so sure that's true anymore because my brain would just adjust and find ways to avoid and seek THAT new feeling. The feeling of the absence of feeling.

Now the difference between ghost-alive touch/ghost-environmental object touch and ghost-fellow ghost or other supernatural being touch is also interesting to me in sensory seeking terms. Because we also see Edwin enjoying Charles touch specifically and at first we could assume that he only likes touch under ghostly sensory feelings. And us neurodivergent people often have our people that we have more spoons to handle the touch of than others. Which also has very adorablely soft implications of Charles being Edwin's Safe Person including sensorily. But then we see him enjoy Niko's touch too which means that he can also find his sensorily safe person in alive interaction sensories terms. And obviously we see Charles being sensory avoidant too when he's out of spoons for that, like when he bats Edwin's hand away when Edwin attempts to comfort him at the lighthouse. And we see Edwin also sensory seek in, as George put it, craving Charles' touch after their hug in episode 5.

Now I'm fairly certain that they feel things in Hell the same as they would between other supernatural beings and as they did when alive. Which after 70 fucking years of that, I don't even KNOW how I would feel about touch as an already sensory avoidant person if I was in Edwin's shoes. Genuinely an unfathomable part of the experience for me. But clearly Edwin still can handle touch just more specific about it. No different than a regular neurodivergence experience really. Which just gives me so many emotions because Edwin baby boy I knew you were so so strong but 🥺 how did you handle this so well too 🥺. I don't know how you did it. He has so much credit for how he's handled (well everything, but specifically this) so well under these circumstances. Someone pls tell him he deserves more credit than he gives himself.

Anyway my Edwin hell emotions aside, i saw someone mention awhile ago (I would credit them but I don't remember who) that Charles and Edwin wear their gloves so often specifically to avoid having to think about the fact that they don't have the normal human sense of touch anymore which is just so something. Because that in and of itself is its own sensory avoidant behavior. Avoiding the fact that they're not really experiencing a specific flavor of sensory anymore? Could this be true for their many layers of clothing they don to possible keep from feeling that they can't feel the environment the same? Like wind/the snow in ep1, the temperature, and other elements? Sensory avoidance too. A supernaturally charged type of sensory avoidance but still. Sensory avoidance. Plus how we see them lose their layers and gloves when they're in their office bubble alone? Their home? Their comfort space where they have the spoons to relax? And possibly have the spoons to handle the new (well new as a relative term) different type of touch sensory experience that is their ghostly existence? Cause in THESE terms Edwin's sensory seeking in the form of rolling up his sleeves and placing his legs propped up upon the couch arm to experience this new type of environmental feel more fully. And Charles is sensory seeking in the form of Touching Everyone of His Magic Bag Items (and doing classic neurodivergent rearranging and setting up just to take back down play but that's beside the point) and fidgeting by throwing (and consequently touching) the ball in ep1. Which IS in line with how when we're more emotionally comfortable we have the spoons for being more comfortable with other things like more touch and more audio and more visuals as neurodivergents. These are the environmental and worldly items based touch. But we also see them touching EACHOTHER more within their office comfort zone, which means they also feel more sensory seeking in the way we're familiar with in their home bubble. And having the spoons for being more emotionally vulnerable there too but that's not really the point of this post.

In conclusion, how Edwin and Charles still act as touch-sensory seeking and avoidant neurodivergent individuals after this long as ghosts really enamors me. I didn't really go into analyzing the other 4 senses have changed for them but we know they can see and hear the same so those sensory seeking levels wouldn't change, and smell and taste are too things they mentioned they don't have anymore as ghosts but they HAVEN'T touched on how smell and taste senses would work between them and other supernatural entities like. I can't really comment on how the minute differences between ghost on alive and and ghost on ghost feelings would differ without knowing more. Like perhaps this would be touched on more in season 2? Like the taste of eachother hmm? Much to think about. Anyway yeah this was my neurodivergent reading of their touch based sensory seeking, I probably didn't consider some things, so I would love to hear your input on this too!

[storagebay29]

james somerton 'apology' video transcript

Note: for those who do not want to watch it. For those who do, here's a link to a reupload as the original has since been deleted. There are a lot of a pauses and 'um's/'uh's, the latter of which are largely ommitted from the below transcript. Posted under a readmore as it's pretty long.

I'm sorry for taking so long to make this video, or to say anything. I'm in the hospital- I've been in the hospital for a little over a week. I tried- Fuck. I tried to do something really stupid... (pause) I'm only here now because before I did it, I called my dad to talk to him one more time and, he figured out something was wrong, called paramedics or 911 or… and they got here and I woke up in the hospital and, yeah.

…

Anyway, I'm not trying to make this a sob story, I'm just trying to explain why I've been so quiet. I had a friend from back home checking my emails and stuff, and yeah.

…

But anyway… I wanna say that I'm really really sorry, really really sorry... for the stuff in the videos, the not crediting people, and for a lot of videos, you know I, I did the opening titles thing, and I tried to put like ‘this is based on X's- this person's research, or on this person's book,’ but I know now that wasn't enough, that wasn't okay. And then there were a lot of times... that uh...  oh god. There were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody (pause) and I'm really really sorry.

And I'm not, I'm not sorry that I got caught, I'm sorry for ever doing it, I didn't- I honestly honestly... didn't realise that I was hurting people... And now that I know that I was hurting people… I'm just really sorry.

I lost my best friend because of this. Nick and I have been best friends since 2011 or [20]12? We'd been friends online and then. He lived in Ottawa, I moved to Ottawa so we could be, like, friends in person, and then we moved back to- I moved back to Nova Scotia, and Nick came with me. We eventually moved to the Toronto area where we lived together for 7 years? 8 years? We lived together for a really long time… and… he hasn't spoken to me since this happened.

Sorry, sorry I said I wasn't gonna make this a sob sorry. I should’ve got some Kleenex.

Then again I'm really really really sorry for the things I did in the videos: copying people's work and not crediting them properly or at all. I also wanna apologise for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos? I didn't- I honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos, most cases I didn't write it but I should’ve, you know it was my face on the channel, my name on the channel, I should have been, I should have been more diligent about fact checking and stuff. ‘Cause there was a lot of really stupid shit in there. It would’ve- it's just so easy to check, I just never did, I just took it for granted…

I also, I wanna thank Hbomberguy and his team for setting up the fund to make some money available for the authors that were wronged and the journalists and writers and…

I wanna help somehow, I don't know how, a lot of- I've seen a lot of people online saying how much money I apparently make and they’re way overestimating. Beyond the fact that Nick and I split everything 50/50, they're still way overestimating how much money came in… And the Toronto area is expensive, so there's not really any kind of savings, I'm moving home really soon… ‘Cause without Nick there's nothing for me here, and like I said it's really expensive…

And so I wanna say I wanna thank them for setting up that fund, and I wanna help somehow. The only thing I can think of right now is to make the videos, most of the videos public again and every month I can send the ad revenue from all of the past videos- ‘cause there were plenty that didn't have any, any uncredited stuff in them... But I can make them public again, and then every month I can send the AdSense to- either I can send it to Hbomberguy's team, that they can add to the fund, or I can start a fund myself? And every month I can publicly say how much money was made on the AdSense and show it. And send that to the writers and stuff every month. I don't know... what the system for that would be? But I would be more than happy to do that

You know some of the videos like the ‘Killing Stalking’ video brought in like a pretty decent amount of money every month so that would be helpful I think/to them. I'll also put in either the description or the pinned comment the names of the authors so that anyone watching the video knows where all of the information came from, that it wasn’t me going out doing journalism- I never thought that anyone thought that I was doing journalism and stuff, and I don't think anyone did. For the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserve, they did the hard work, all I did was edit a video. They did the hard work and they- they deserved the credit

(cut) Sorry about that, phone stopped recording.

But- yes. They deserved- they deserved credit, and… when it was something... when it was something like the, the recent... ‘history of hollywood�� videos, right there in the opening credits, I put the Vito Russo's name, that it was adapted from his book ‘The Celluloid Closet’. Same thing went for the gay panic video and the gay holocaust video, they were- the holocaust video was adapted from two books, and the gay panic video was adapted from a lot of journalism, and I- I put their names right at the beginning of the videos.

But and- I understand that's not how citation works... now. I understand that, I get it. And I wanna do better. And I know a lot of people hate me now, ‘cause I did bad shit. But I wanna try and do better. At some point I’d like to make videos again. I'd like to do videos that are fully sourced, where I will put a link to the script where you can find all the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve, any the kind of research that's done, credit for any b roll that's used whether it's stock footage, or movies or TV shows or video games, or anything like that, have it all in there. I would like to become a really really good example of giving proper credit to writers and journalists

And I know a lot of you watching this aren't- aren't really gonna care, you'd rather I just disappear. But I would like to try to do better.

I never ever intended to hurt anybody. I never thought that that's what I was doing. Before I went- before I went to the hospital, I read a lot of stuff from people who were really hurt, not just authors and stuff but people who watched my videos who were hurt by stuff in them. People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. It's really- it's just- it’s not true. And I’m sorry that stuff made it into videos that just shouldn’t have been there: misinformation and lies... But I promise you I did not write that stuff.

I should have been a lot more exacting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that those are not- I don't think those things. I specifically want to apologise to asexual people who feel that I just completed delegitimised you. Nick being ace, I- I know that it's kinda like you know, no two gay people are exactly the same, no two ace people are exactly the same, but I kind of, when it came to that I just kind of ran with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that. And I’m not trying to throw Nick under the bus, which a bunch of people are saying that I was setting him up as doing, which is not true…

This whole thing, Nick and I were 50/50 partners, it wasn't I hired him to have a scapegoat or something like that. I never hired Nick. Nick and I were roommates for years before I started doing Youtube videos and then they started- people started watching them and I asked Nick if he wanted to help me write them and he said yes and we started splitting the- first the AdSense and then the Patreon and then the sponsorships, we just split everything. Nick was never supposed to be a fall guy.

I'm sorry. Maybe I should have waited longer to do this. But yeah, I- the- I did not- I don’t think those things and I don't think Nick does either, I think it was just how fast we were writing stuff, and how fast we were putting videos out, it was just too fast. And we weren’t putting the care into them that needed to be put into them.

I've seen a lot of people on social media and other youtubers even lying about me, but other- other- Hbomberguy was not one of them, I just wanna be clear about that, except I was never setting Nick up to be a fall guy and. It was never a grift or anything like that. I swear it was not. It is not.

In the next couple of days, I'm gonna send out a message to the Telos supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them because we were not super clear about everything that was going on with Telos and so I can- I understand if it seems like we weren't doing anything but we were. We were doing a lot of work on Telos. We just weren’t talking about it is because we- we made that initial first announcement for ‘final girl’ and that fell through and I'll explain that to the message I send out to the supporters which I'm sure will end up on reddit or somewhere… And after that we didn't- we didn't want to talk about it too much until we had something really concrete, and I will explain all of that in that message

Telos was and is not a grift. I was never gonna take the money and run. None of the money that came in for telos was ever going to be paying me or Nick. It was going to be paying queer actors and artists, musicians, things like that. And I know there's been lots of talk about budgets and all this stuff, and people saying that I'm really stupid for thinking a movie could be made for that little money, but there are examples of it being done, and I actually do have a work ethic.

Anyway. but yeah. anyway

I do want to keep making videos and I know a lot of you won't watch them and that's- that's fine. But I really liked making videos…

We ended up making a lot of videos we didn't wanna make because people were asking for them, and so there were a lot of videos that we made that we didn't wanna make, and I think those videos are very clear on which ones those were. One of them never got officially released. It was released to patrons, some patrons have shared it to other people before all the videos went private. A lot of people hate the analysis that Nick and I did on it but. And so maybe it's good that that never got properly released, because… maybe it would have hurt people. And I don't want that.

But I do wanna make videos again sometime. I'd love to do like retrospectives on important gay movies. If you watch the channel ‘Be Kind Rewind’ they're an amazing channel that do a lot of retrospectives on older Hollywood movies and I would love to do that for gay movies. A lot of gay movies, people my age and younger have never heard of, things like ‘Torch Song Trilogy’ and ‘Longtime Companion’, and stuff like that, movies from the seventies and eighties and the nineties, things that were like really influential for gay cinema that no one talks about. And you know, I'd like to talk about not just those movies but how they got made and stuff like that. I would love to do something like that.

I swear on my mother's grave that there will be no copying people, no copying pasting. Every source will be cited in a document and on screen. ‘Cause I usually liked doing the research. I loved doing research - reading the books and articles and stuff like that. I- the part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. Instead of just putting it into my words and citing them properly and giving them credit… that's where the laziness came in. That was- I wasn't trying to be malicious. That was just laziness. And I promise for anyone who does watch the videos that I make going forward… I promise that will never happen again. I welcome the highest level of scrutiny on the new videos.

…

As for Patreon, I’m going to reactivate it. Because I saw a lot of people on social media saying that I was probably going to reactivate it right on January 1st so that everyone could get a surprise billing and I could take the money and run. And, no. First of all that was never my plan and I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna reactivate it now so that anyone who wants to leave - which I imagine will be the vast majority - can leave and not have to worry about being billed again in January.

… Yeah. So. In closing. I'm again incredibly sorry... And again I'm not sorry because I was caught, I honestly didn't know how much I was hurting people… and how much harm I was bringing to the community, because that's not ever what I intended. I wanted the channel to be a safe place. I spent so much time deleting comments that were hateful

I recently found out that I wasn't being notified about- that I wasn’t seeing comments that were in replies to other comments so there were plenty of hateful comments in the comment section that were plenty hateful that I wasn’t seeing, and I didn't know that. But I wanted the channel to be a safe place and it ended up not being a safe place.

And for the misinformation, that kind of falls into two categories. 1. I did the wrong research in the historical things and other things they're not what I wrote.

Again, thank you to Hbomberguy and his team for making the fund for the writers. I'd like to try to contribute to that somehow so- if- if it's okay to make the videos public and send all of the- public and send all- it won't be all of videos ‘cause some of them had to be taken down because sponsors wanted them taken down, but I can put the videos back up with the sources properly put in either- for the I guess for the videos that would be going up from zero, I could actually put in sources for the videos, which would be good.

I guess I could- For the other ones that would just be made live again, I could put them in a pinned comment. ‘Cause I think people read pinned comments more than they read the descriptions, cause like the descriptions disappear in a lot of places. Something like that. Something so that I can try and- it won't make up for what I did but just. Something.

So I’m really really really sorry. I hurt a lot of people that I really respect and that really sucks. And.  Nick if you're watching this I know you're probably not but I miss you and…

Yeah I want to do better. I want- I want to do better. I want to prove that I can do better. I don't expect anyone to just give me the benefit of the doubt. But I want to show that I can do better, so I hope you'll let me do that.

Again, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that the things I did- I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I promise going forward I will do better.

Thanks for watching, and...

…

And I’m really sorry.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This one is so long I'm putting most of it under a readmore to save your dash

Anonymous asked:

AITA for stabbing a kid?

(this is less Am I The Asshole and more Was I The Asshole, bc it's really just a story from high school that I - as an adult in my mid-20s - was remembering recently and thought could be fun to toss to The People in as objective of a form as I can. anyways, all names are 100% made up to replace actual names, and everybody involved ends the story safe and alive)

I (16ish F then, 20s NB now) was trying to prep for an upcoming speech and debate tournament (yes, I was insufferable as a teen) with a group of other students in our debate coach's classroom. specifically, I was working with a younger student, Tammy (14ish F then), on understanding this specific type of debate (LD for my fellow insufferable teens out there) and brainstorming with her on some of the main components of her own case. as we were trying to work, another student, Tony (15ish M then), kept butting in to pester Tammy, making it impossible for Tammy or me to focus. in hindsight, I'm like 74% sure Tony had a bit of a crush on Tammy in that moment and expressed that feeling by being an annoying little shit towards her (as teens often do). that was at least how I would characterize the general vibe of Tony's actions and how he seemed to really need Tammy to be paying total attention to him. from my perspective and based on my basically decade-long memory at this point, Tammy (maybe?) asked him to leave her alone. she at least seemed frustrated and annoyed with him, or just generally flustered in a way I read uncomfortable. (take all this with a grain of salt here bc, regardless of how Tammy really felt, I was for sure super annoyed and that fact would almost certainly impact my interpretation and memory of the situation.)

idk if any teen girls out there (former, current, or future) have tried to teach or learn while a teen boy is flirt-bugging you or the person you're with, but it got old real fast for me. so, almost immediately, I asked Tony to knock it off so me and Tammy could work. he refused and kept bugging her. I continued to tell him to quit and he continued to ignore me, and this went on for a while. so, as one does, I figured it was time to threaten him with physical violence. I told him that if he didn't back off and let Tammy work, that I would stab him.

now, to give a bit of context for what the fuck I was thinking in that moment, I had learned a particular lesson earlier in my time as a supposed teenage girl dealing with supposed teenage boys in the 2000s-2010s: don't make threats you aren't willing to follow through on. so when I threatened to stab him, I 100% meant it. to provide a tad more context, I did also have a bit of a casually violent streak in high school for this reason (but maybe those stories are for a different AITA submission at another time, but they were all in a similar vein as this one in terms of cause and severity). also, does it help or hurt to add this was in a rural public high school in Texas? either way. to be fair to Tony, that's still undoubtedly a deeply unhinged and disproportionate thing to actually do, but would be a semi-common hyperbolic empty threat to make as a teen to another teen.

as you can assume based on the title here, Tony did not quit despite these threats. so, true to my word, after us arguing back and forth for a bit more, I stabbed him in the arm with the pen I was holding. he was obviously upset (to be clear, it did hurt him but did not injure him to the best of my knowledge beyond leaving a light mark for a bit of time that afternoon*) and he complained about having been stabbed. I said I warned him repeatedly that I would stab him before I actually did, to which he replied that that was an insane thing to actually do (fair enough, ya know?). the teacher was in the room, but if she saw any of this she ignored it. tbh, I don't see how she could have not noticed a kid loudly complaining about having been stabbed by another kid. so, I assume she chose to ignore it, possibly bc I was a bit of a teacher's pet (ie. president of the speech and debate team she was the coach of (I told you I was insufferable)). actually, now that I think about it, that was not the only time I stabbed another kid in her classroom in almost identical circumstances... maybe we are both TA....

anyways, in conclusion:

reasons I think I'm NTA: he was being an annoying dick to the friend I was mentoring at the time, and I did warn him that I'd stab him if he didn't quit being an annoying dick several times before actually following through (and it was only with pen and did no serious harm, but I think it does still count as assault regardless (?) and also I love the classic AITA storytelling technique of Being Dramatic, so feel free to ignore this point and *any other times I brought up that he was ultimately okay when considering how you wanna vote).

reasons I think I'm TA: I mean... I fuckin' stabbed a kid just bc he was being annoying and I fully got away with it bc the teacher liked me, plus I was a repeat offender of doing lowkey violence like this in response to other kids being Kinda Annoying and Shitty™. pestering other people on purpose bc you possibly have a crush on them is a very normal thing for a teen to do. stabbing another teen with a writing utensil just bc they did so though?... perhaps not.

(also, as an endnote: just to be clear, I do not stab teens at all in any context whatsoever since growing up. out of AITA-writing-character here, I think I was a kid who was just sick of guys around me crossing boundaries and dealt with that in a myriad of very unhealthy ways that were also informed by my general redneck upbringing that - understandably or not - sometimes saw some violence as a valid way to assert personal boundaries if it seemed they weren't being respected. that doesn't make it okay and is not at all a defense against being TA in this story, just trying to assure folks that regardless of whether you think I was TA I am now also a somewhat well adjusted adult who at least channels their overwhelming fury into organizing/activism stuff and mutual aid rather than stabbing annoying teenagers. while this isn't some stressful conflict that I feel torn up about or anything even close to that, I am interested to see what folks think, so thanks for reading if the mod(s) found all this worthy of posting for y'all!)

What are these acronyms?

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

since i decided i wanted to make Reed a butch lesbian, because not enough butches, i started thinking about Doom, even though this is a Spider-Man AU and Doom probably won't even show up, but, you know, I got carried away by a wave of lesbianism and wanting to draw fancy dresses

(crops below the readmore cause this pic ended up a big sketch dump)

I wanted Doom to be... like....... kind of glamorous but also versatile... it seemed like the right choice since regular doom is himself very vain etc. so i thought she ought to also be vain and gorgeous, and vary the way she dresses between things like tailored three piece suits with long coats, and evening gowns, and of course the armor.

adding the pic again just to refresh—

it was interesting to think about how a female doom might present herself differently, and take influence from various comics and other sources (thinking about the gold mask dr. doom wore in a specific comic for example). The one eye thing just kind of occurred to me while I was drawing and I decided to run with it—one thing was for sure though, i wanted her to be stacked. big tits and big biceps. i figured with her face all fucked up she might still want to draw attention to her impeccable cleavage also so i put some gold glitter on her tits in that velvet gown.

obviously the armor is exactly the same as male doom cause, well, idk if you know this, but large round breastplates fit boobs also.

i think that doom being a lesbian would really make the stuff with valeria's namesake/doom's first love extra crazy though like... god... i'm thinking about it...

anyway a little bit of doomreed, who am i to say no to bitter gay exes—and a college photo of the trio. reed is very tall, and ben and victoria are... well i guess victoria counts as slightly tall and ben counts as average. but next to tall lanky butch reed they both look short. i was trying to channel a very specific kind of "photos of butch lesbians from the 80s and 90s" vibe for Reed with the short broad tie and the high waisted slacks and men's haircut, and i think i got that. ben looks kind of generic but it's like. one of those things. it's jeans and a t-shirt, that shit has looked the same for like 50 years. maybe i should've tucked his shirt into his jeans or something, higher waist... lol

obv posted this pic higher up but i was thinking about clothes and how to differentiate reed from the other menswear-heavy characters (like peter, and octavius) and thinking about some outfits i've seen reed actually wear in comics, and aside from the F4 costume, which i'd imagine reed wears the most often—for regular clothes the kind of slouchy casual, slightly outdated look seemed like it was just the right style... like she probably wears ties sometimes still but mostly only if she's gotta go to something formal, you know?

and as you can see, sue is 5'6"

anyway i knew for sure i wanted Reed to be very masculine, a very specific kind of butch. basically taking reed's handsome DILF/absent-minded professor aura and transposing that onto a lesbian who still calls herself "Mr."

basically she looks exactly the same but with a slight modification to her figure. lmao. she's the kind of butch who gets asked if she's a man or a woman in public a lot. well. not anymore i guess, if the fantastic four are celebrities (though maybe in a weirder more invasive way...)

anyway,

lost in the sauce (butches)

[peachiseas]

okay i am very new here, so i need a through introduction to your mcs! like eve for example, pls post his whole biography o(╥﹏╥)o

fr tho, tell me anything and everything :D

TOOK SO DAMN LONG SINCE I WANTED TO DRAW A STEP ONE REF OF EVE BUT ITS GONNA TAKE A MINUTE so here are the sketches,,, Anyways- gonna introduce the main two mcs/ocs you'll see here: Eve Cortez Williams and Aaliyah Dubious

(dont mind my ipad scribbles on the screenshot iofqiowogi) Lemme put this under a readmore actually so yall dont get slammed with a long ass post:

Starting with Eve:

He's my Tamarack MC, but I figured since uh. all my art that was a given

He has a strained relationship with Qiu in step 1 but they become besties by step 2 and by step 3, they are like family to each other. If no one got Eve, Eve knows Qiu got them, amen 🙏

He comes out as transmasc by step 2, and by step 3 he gets top surgery and starts taking testosterone and firmly identifies as a butch lesbian

He's from the southern part of Miami, Florida. He's Golden Grove's residential florida man

He practices martial arts religiously, he's a big fan of Goku and Dragonball in general so he wants to be like his idol

His story deviates a bit from the OL2 generic mc story, he did have a dad! Opal and his dad wanted a kid but they both didn't want to get married and since the two of them were best friends, they decided to have a kid together (or well two but we'll talk about that later)

What's important to note from above is that his dad isn't around anymore because his father passed away a few months ago due to a car accident and Eve was hospitalized as a result

So by the time he's at Golden Grove, he's in anger stages of his grief and he doesn't want to be bothered. Which sucks cause hes neighbors with the two loudest kids on the block

Doesn't help he's a ESL speaker (English as a Second Language) and Golden Grove's population is majorly white so he has even harder of a time adjusting to it

He gets into fights in step 1... a Lot. Someone will look at him funny and they'll get punched in the face

He does adjust but he still doesn't like Golden Grove by step 3 but funnily enough, he moves away at the end of step 3 for treatment but moves back in step 4, crazy how that shit works huh

He has two emotional support bunnies; Bulma and Chi-Chi! He gets them in step 2, Qiu and Eve bond over them LMFAO

As for Aaliyah:

She's my Qiu MC, to the shocker of no one. Tamarack is also her best friend <3

Aaliyah is from New Orleans, Louisiana! She's full blooded Haitian and she has family in Haiti

She's also transfem! She passes for cis in step 1 thanks to hormone blockers and some makeup and then starts taking estrogen in step 2 and onwards

Her being black and transfemme is integral to her character and how she navigates around Golden Grove, she doesn't tell anyone she's trans until near the end of step 1. By step 3, the girl gang and Qiu knows shes trans

^^ That's because she had a very negative experience coming out to her community who previously loved her but flipped on her just as fast

So moving to Golden Grove was supposed to be a fresh start for her as herself but by that point she feels like she has to keep up her "cis-sona" lest she gets bullied again

She still gets bullied for other reasons in step 2 though (being a pretty black girl and the one person who has a crush on her is the most popular kid in school... its rough! 😭)

By step 4 though she is proud to call herself trans and will let people know!

She lovessss animals! And the animals love her back! She feeds them all the time and keeps animal food on her for that purpose when she goes to the park to read by herself, she got a flock of crows and stray cats that like to follow her

She has a cat named Kiki!!! Kiki loves everyone except Qiu though, Aaliyah doesnt know that though-

I hope that was enough of a info-dump! If anyone has anymore questions please ask i have so much lore please-

[fagcrisis]

sorry what do you mean your mother's coup. elaborate

this ended up being long as hell so readmore time

so i live in this old fucking apartament building right, turns 120 soon, hasnt really been renovated in 50 years. and our apartament has the attic built in, which wasnt a feature originally and the previous tenant did it himself, badly, meaning weve had a hole in our roof for about 5ish years now that we just have not been able to fix. last november we had a pretty big storm that fucked the hole up even worse and our previous solution of just "put a bucket under it and leave the room" has stopped working because too much water was getting in and my sister had to start sleeping in a different room so safe to say, shit state of affairs

my mum got a contractor to come take a look at it and the dude concluded that its dangerous to be left unfixed and hes gonna have to climb in between the attic walls and the roof bc due to the hole theres a shitton of mold that needs to be cleaned out. overall this wouldve cost us 600k forint thats more than my mum makes in 2 months and i had 9-5 at that point but my shit salary was not gonna fix this. so my mum had a breakdown and decided that well sell the apartament and try moving, which sucks bc when we got this place it was still cheap but since then the housing market has gone to shit and we wouldve had to live in a rental we probably wouldnt have been able to afford. but my mum still called an agent to check the house out, and he told us that theres no way were selling it, because of the big fucking hole, the messed up pipes and bc the building isnt insulated (legally cant be bc its a historical monument lmao. europe)

HOWEVER he also said. since this is an apartament building with 12 flats we have a house representative and we pay *google translate help me* common cost every month, to cover repairs on the house, that we shouldnt have to pay for the repairs, the house should. cause. its the whole houses roof not just our apartaments.

my mum went to the house rep (józsi) to ask about this, and he told her that this isnt true and that he wont pay for the repairs. which made my mum mad and she went and found a lawyer who said the house does have to pay for repairs. but józsi was still like i will not.

so my mum talked to all 12 of our neighbouring flats individually and found out that literally everybody has grievances with this dude. there has been an ENTIRE TREE growing on the roof for years now that we havent been able to get cleaned out, the staircase is borderline life threatening to use, we could technically get authorization for insulating the house but the rep needs to apply and józsi hasnt, one of the gates to the yard is like not working, etc

they ended up calling the first house meeting in years (were supposed to have those every month lol) where they ended up voting to have a new rep, and also to fix our roof. which got fixed by the way, and the mold was also cleaned out

BUT the story doesnt end here bc they still need to vote a new rep in. and my mum found this company who represents apartament buildings professionally and sure itd cost us some money but we pay the common cost anyway, and they have contractors they work with so itd be soooo easy to fix shit in the house. but for some reason some people decided they want this dude instead, who owns one of the flats in the building but does not live here, his insane mother does who hates me. and he DOESNT LIVE HERE the entire problem with józsi was, that he was like not helpful in any way and now they want a guy who doesnt even live here??

ANYWAY TODAY THE PLOT FUCKING THICKENED. because. my mum started looking over the houses finances with 2 of our neighbours one of whom is i think a lesbian but im not sure anyways they found out that józsi has been STEALING MONEY. FROM THE COMMON COST. WHICH IS WHY FUCKALL GOT FIXED IN THE HOUSE!!!!

anyway the coup is still ongoing but i hope u enjoyed my mums tale of intrigue. shes having so much fun w this shes having secret meetings with people to talk about this all day

[twothpaste]

wellll i gotta ask about our boy Bronson wiiith 12, 21, 25??

YEAAA BRONSON!!!! (Putting answers below a readmore because they're long 🕺)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I assure y'all I'm very normal and not at all unwell regarding All The Shit I Made Up About Bronson. The blundering apocalyptic naval admiral who accidentally got his own fleet destroyed, defected like a coward, and never faced the consequences. Who tried to make amends by serving as the White Ship's captain, but never washed his hands of blood. Dude who has no clue how to navigate grief, 'cause he couldn't face it himself when folks who trusted him died on his watch. So wracked with subconscious guilt he just wants to stuff his head in an amnesiac hole and spend the rest of his days as a humble bumfuck Nowhere blacksmith. Again, normal about Bronson. Nothing to see here.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I love making him lowkey pathetic when push comes to shove. He's a capable leader if things are running according to plan, an easygoing and sensible person generally, people do respect him, etc. But when faced with truly difficult dilemmas, he ends up floundering uselessly. Falls back on old habits, like feigning control over the situation, trying & failing to order people around, throwing up his hands and hoping everything works itself out. There's several situations in TSS where Bronson, despite all his barking bravado, is clearly the least effective team player - and it cracks me up! (Deep down, after a lifetime of shit flyin' disastrously off the handle despite his best efforts, he's painfully aware of how little control he really has… 🥲)

I'm having a hard time thinking of anything I don't like about writing him. He comes off a little stiff & stagnant sometimes I guess (granted I've been writing him at the grizzled & curmudgeonly age of 61 dfgdfhg). Not certain I've managed to convincingly convey the value he brings to his community, since he's often bumbling about, or giving lukewarm advice. In TSS I wanted him as a sort of linchpin, holding the whole operation together with his steady & familiar presence, even though he goofs up a lot? I've def had a lot of moments with him where it's been hard to thread that line, and I'm not sure I pulled it off. But even still, Bronson's never been unfun to handle as a character ❤️

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

When I first played Mother 3 as a clueless little 17 or 18 year old, Bronson was one of the few Tazmilians who really stuck out in my mind. He leaves a pretty strong impression in Chapter 1, huh! Still in high school, I was embarrassingly bad at relating to or connecting with adult characters. But even back then - and definitely now - I think what I liked about him was how flawed he is, how human his writing felt. Dude tries so hard to help find Hinawa, ends up too late, and absolutely blunders like a jackass when it comes time to relay the news. He fucks up royally by throwing Flint in jail, too, but you can tell by the way he talks to Flint that he bears no ill will or animosity. Puts up no protest against the Pigmasks & Tazmily's industrialization, but he's one of the few villagers who remains neighborly as ever toward Lucas. He's really just some guy tryin' his best to do right by his community, handling shit in the only ways he knows how. His failures are so honest, I can't really bring myself to blame him too harshly. Throughout the game he always somehow feels like a trustworthy ally, even when he's just lounging on the beach while the world goes to hell. The most lovably ineffectual Real One ever.

[eleanorose123]

brother and i finished rewatching zexal- time for the second half thoughts lol

there is a LOT more this time around, so it's under a readmore

right off the bat, Zexal II gives off major sailor moon energy in terms of "haha you FOOLS! the power you used to defeat last season's antag is USELESS now!"

ah yes.......gilag's design.............

brother and i have a long running joke that the barian emperors as a whole are just doing a group project and constantly struggling with the basic shit that people face when DOING group projects (infighting in particular)

also fun fact, my brother DESPISES the sound effect they use for the barian door opening during the chaos xyz summons

i want to say that 85% of shingetsu's shenanigans were planned. he wanted to put yuma through so much hell

furry coach duelist, never forget

TAKASHI TODOROKI MY SWEET BOY

ah rio "i will not be used as a shield to my brother" kamishiro.....we were so hopeful back then

alit remains to be a raging bisexual, we love that for him

though it does raise the question- since gilag couldn't recognize alit initially due to them not seeing human forms until then, could vector tell who they were or did he just hear their names be mentioned and go "wait wtf"

the friendship tournament ep remains to be one of the best one off eps of season 4 i swear to god

remember when the barians were supposed to come and collect haruto? yeah me neither

mizael is peak theater kid. i love that he and kaito fight on equal grounds and then by the end of the series you're hit with "btw mizael is like 15 and kaito's still 18"

rio may have unexplained (at the time) prophecy powers, but shark's got "i can tell yuma is in danger" senses

WE LOVE SHARK BEING A LONGING DUMBASS IN THE HOSPITAL

god i know that like- yuma's already gone through 3 seasons of shark-related emotions, but i wouldn't be surprised at all if it was alit who made yuma first go "wait, do i like guys?"

shingetsu also did a number on yuma with the same emotions, but for much different reasons

"im here to help astral" "yay!" "but don't tell him about me" "ok!" yuma we gotta teach you what a red flag is. though you are 13 and have already gone through a lot of red flags (ex. giving haruto to a stranger)

you think vector had like, a bazillion questions for yuma after seeing no96 for the first time, or did he zip his lip

we establish that kaito has global surveillance and satellites that can just- fire lasers anywhere. tenjos man

takashi and tokunosuke are canonly some of the biggest shippers in the series which is peak hilarity to me, i love that for them

im surprised anna even bothered with the uniform considering she just barged into the tournament regardless. then again, zexal rly loves putting characters in these middle school uniforms

also season 4 is filled way too much with underaged fanservice ugh

SARGASSO DUEL MY BELOVED

mizael refusing to use the lighthouse card cause it was cowardly is hilarious cause durbe is just right there like "hey"

yuma and his very bad no good day

RUIN ARC TIME

my brother was analyzing every second of each ruin tbh

he has.............a lot of thoughts on alit's backstory in particular

why is durbe's ruin in columbia of all places tho

yuma and co skipped so many days of school, you think the rest of the numbers club were just there like "where'd they GO"

we love kazuma desecrating ruins by adding markers and leaving behind coins that future teams will assume to be part of the ruin's treasures (like it did for gilag's)

also they really REALLY never fucking explain WHY kazuma knows all this shit fjdkhdfjkhfd

vector cannot sit still at all

they rly did no96 so dirty in the series. i love that he's a character fandom decided to flesh out beyond what canon gave us, he deserved that much

i rly thought there was more mutinyship moments than there really were jfdkhfdhjdfkhk ah well. they're full of potential

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE YUMA DEPRESSION ARC i know that sounds fucked up to get excited over, but it's also FEARSOME FOUR TIME

ill never understand why they bothered to go be like "heartland took a picture with esper robin" unless they just didnt want us to forget that's a character

"how'd you get your barian crests back?" "with the power of science!" is still SO funny

numbers club trying to be helpful only to get punished is foreshadowing for their fates the rest of the show

you know, you'd think kurage would've realized ryoga was one of the people he killed considering like- he knew his and rio's names. and their faces. but ah well

tokunosuke building a grave for astral is not talked about enough imo, that's like, one of the strongest scenes of the numbers club characters

kaninja you continue to bring me pain, you wouldve won your duel if you didnt say you poisoned kaito

ngl chris, you abusing kaito for a week straight for the sake of "training" was pretty fucked up

i hate the eliphas duel, i hate the eliphas duel, i hate-

"time to be with your REAL allies" durbe plz stfu

they never really do explain how nasch died. we just assumed he did himself in after seeing vector go down which is uh. hm

ahhh toku......the first casualty of the war.........

i wouldve liked more heartland backstory but THATS JUST ME-

jkfkfdhjdkf i love that it rly was just kaninja who was the reason kaito was becoming blind. messed him up even in the afterlife

astral/yuma remains to be so tender

i feel like if you ever want to make vector peak uncomfortable, just stare at him in silence until he breaks

i know that's the point, but once ryoga unlocks "nasch", his drama levels go through the fucking roof

also fun fact, between eps 122 to 143, something like 23 prominent characters die (tokunosuke, heartland, tetsuo, anna, fuuya, droite, gauche, roku, yamikawa, iv, iii, v, alit, gilag, durbe, rio, orbital 7, kaito, vector, mizael, eliphas, don thousand, shark)

"ryoga, my best friend" iv, i rly feel like that's a onesided sort of situation

alit/gilag deserves more attention ffs

GILAG DESERVES BETTER IN GENERAL TBH

i remember being numb by the point of durbe/merag's deaths. that hasnt changed

KAITO'S death tho, that still hits. mainly cause of the music

i love that obomi's affection for orbital only kicked in cause akari....kicked her

akari who was still trying to be in the plot, bless her for trying

haruto is going to need so much therapy tbh

numeron dragon's story is still so sad, love that dragon

it took mizael like 5 eps to get to the moon and another 3 eps to get off it

shark watching vector's performance and just going "........." the whole time is still hilarious. you know that'll always just be their dynamic even post canon

don thousand...........your design is so good but you are still so lackluster......

nasch vs yuma tho- THAT'S a real satisfying boss battle djfkhdfkj love that finale to pieces

aaaaaand now it's just pain and smiles all the way until the end :'3

the growing up storyline of zexal just really, really hits you by those last episodes ugh

there's so much to work with with the finale, and i love it to this day

still the best ygo series, i will not take notes on that fact

if you read all this, thank you

kattobingu <3

[drifloonz]

PLEASE CONTINUE RAMBLING ABT MISSINGNO I WANNA HEAR MORE OF UR THOUGHTSSS

basically, the missingno ramble came about bc i always thought that initially, pokemon were always supposed to be able to be turned into data and shit. eg, how pokeballs even work, how the pc works, how trading works, etc.

this is kind of long ( not really but a few paragraphs ( nevermind i made it longer. ) ) so im gunna put it under a readmore just so i dont irritate ppl in whatever tags i put this in

idk if theres evidence for this, it just feels like pokemon implied that more and has been recently backtracking and going "oh no theyre not actually like DATA lol." and kind of retconning it. but maybe im pulling all of this out my ass but idk it felt early gen pokemon was much more in that sort of direction. there were a lot of different directions in early gen pokemon in general, i feel

ANYWAYS given that i subscribe to that more than whatever theyre doing with the canon explanations for shit now ( also not helped by my general fascination with technology, ai, and glitches esp in fiction and how interesting they are if written well ), i think missingno is just . a glitched pokemon. which obviously. but. Like. it used to be a pokemon. they can be made easily if something fucks up in the data transfer from physical to pokeball or pc or during trading or something like that.

well, maybe not easily- i imagine missingnos are only made from particularly bad cases of this. complete malfunctions and breaks, probably. which would also be why missingno and glitch pokemon like the bad egg, M', female symbol, ? symbol, whatever other ones you can think of were much more prominent early gen and pittered out more in later games ( not entirely obviously, but yknow ) - technology advanced more and became more secure so these types of things happened less often.

and i think in terms of possible mew clone, they are clones of mew that could not turn into ditto because an error happened technologically. instead of biologically/physically, which is how ditto wouldve been made. why are they in the shore? who knows. maybe theyre kind of thoughtless and just somehow get physically dumped into the cinnabar shore. god knows why its kind of hard to integrate game glitch to actual story/lore but by god im doing it.

anyways. because of this in strangled red, i think missingno isnt an all powerful entity. i think its just something that fills miki's corpse with garbage data and puppets her around like a zombie. which would be oddly fitting for a pokemon that i think could be caused by a trading fiasco or other technological malfunctions that happen to pokemon in those sorts of things.

miki just got the worse of it physically, not glitch-wise. she just died. which, at least she got to go out and not be in eternal limbo. until, well, steven stepped in, but who knows if shes even sentient enough or if her soul is even in missingno-ified miki at all. i think its slightly there, just a fragment of it- but its mostly a husk.

when the trading incident happened, i imagine that if there's an error the failsafe in whatever trading mech you use immediately sends the pokemon back to the original trainers, but something screwed up in the wiring so she likely turned physical at the wrong time while still in the trading tube, which then ended up with the wires being wrapped around her neck, or maybe even stabbing into it.

i like to think in the strangled red universe it's a not very common thing that maybe even was the first or only reported incident. steven and mike just got extremely unlucky.

... which probably did not help stevens rage about the incident, losing his prized unique charizard who could evolve faster than any charmander ever has, and tank supereffective damage easily amongst other things and to the fact that it probably only happened to him. or at minimum a few other people ever.

why does steven know about missingno? likely tales when he was in cinnabar during his original journey about it. strangled red is a year or so before the canon story but i doubt the mewtwo thing happened exactly a year before reds story, so missingno still being there. yknow. makes sense if you think it exists like how ditto does. ( failed mew clone ) .

the only reason missingno has power is because it is a glitch, it is corruption, physicalized - in a way it was not meant to be even further than how a glitch is. pokemon can turn into data. you can see how that'd work. anything that can be digitized in the pokemon world, it has power over. i imagine something thats meant to be there like a normal pokemon or human would get corrupted by it if it touched or remained in an area too long, or if it were commanded to attack. which is why missingnos in universe have insane levels, odd or stolen cries ( along with the fact some of them just used to be a normal pokemon likely ), and are physically just a jumble of data or taking images from random pokemons appearances, and even the skeletons or ghosts of them.

ironically they are like miki, but if miki after the incident corrupted digitally and physically, and went into a state of limbo instead of outright just dying due to technical malfunctions. they probably barely remember their former lives or what they were supposed to be and become very mindless.

i also think this has interesting implications for the trade incident if it ever happened again with pokemon with trade evolutions. i don't think they'd die, i think they'd become corrupted in a similar but different way to missingno - like an unintentional and glitchy evolution akin to porygon-z.

anyways.

steven is desperate for anything and everything to bring her back, and maybe tried multiple methods beforehand if you think he was that desperate, but hey. missingno worked. even if miki's just a puppeted corpse being controlled by a mindless thing that used to be a pokemon. who is ironically, controlling a corpse of a pokemon.

[meowsticmarvels]

im curious. who are your fav characters from each mainline persona game that you have played 🤔🤔 (take this as an invitation to ramble about them)

YIPEEEEEEEE here we go will be long so im hiding it under a readmore again. also since you said mainline im not including toshiro or eri but you Know...... im abnorma, abt them

i have NOT played p1 and i've just barely started p2is (though ive watched snippets of someone elses's playthrough) but i will say. based on my limited knowledge i rly like hidehiko, ayase, naoya, tatsuya, jun, eikichi, yukino, maya, and lisa

p3 and p4 are difficult bc theyre the ones im the most autistic abt and the main entire casts as a whole are comforts for me. but anyways. going to talk about p3 first Yes I Will Include SLs too. im abnormal. top 3 main insaners for p3 though are akihiko, yukari, and junpei. for me

makoto/minato sooo so gender envy. im obsessed with his design a lot. his character i do also like hes a little goofy and so mecore but mainly his design is something i love a lot

same with kotone. also love how she has a sort of distinct personality that you can tell with slight dialogue changes that her counterpart doesnt say. shes rly real. love reload but i miss her...

as stated yukari's one of my favs. she didnt Use to be (i did like her but Not as much) but she's slowly become one and man. i love that silly girl. her haters will not survive the winter actually. it does piss me off though because like. yeah shes not perfect no character rly is but she's a traumatized mentally ill teenage girl with a dead dad and a neglectful mom cut her some slack maybe? god forbid women do anything. idk. but im obsessed with her. her character is actually so interesting to me and not a lot of people talk about it? like her whole fear of death causing issues with summoning her persona like at the beginnning, her dad being involved with the kirijo groups shit, how she puts on a cheerful front but is actually deeply really lonely :(, her kinda playful insult friendship with junpei (deep down they do care abt eachother. i wish that was explored more. i found a rly good fic abt it once.) and etc etc. idrk what to say but shes sooo. i also love how she initially HATES mitsuru and is super jealous of her and then. Well. gay tension is real. anyways shes a transfem lesbian to me btw. yukamitsu ftw

junpei's also become one of my favs. somehow. in a similar vein to yukari in that he wasn't initially my main fav character but i think his character's also pretty interesting and has. a lot of unexplored potential. he's very silly and i love him for that a lot but something i don't see many people talk about is like. his Issues. like yeah hes silly but he's also got some fucked up self-worth issues!!! remember the scene on 5/9 where he kinda gets really upset and goes off on his own and stuff. for example. like i think him being imperfect and having these moments where he's NOT cheerful and goofy all the time and actually deeply really jealous of you because he feels that fighting's all he's good for and he's not worth much else is what makes him interesting. do you get it. like him being tbe silly funny guy isn't all he is as a person yk!!!!! also as far as characterization I point a lot to the scene where yukari's more than willing to go confront the people in the alley while junpei's worried, or scene near the end of the game where yukari teases junpei and he snaps at her, confessing that while he doesn't show it he really is terrified. they all are, at that point. yk what I mean? also people don't acknowledge his trauma with his father enough (maybe because it's only really discussed at all in femc's route... his SL is so good but not enough ppl see it... BUR YEAH did not think I'd go off on a tangent about junpei fucking iori tonight but he's real. hashtag brokeback tartarus. also he's an adhder to me. (oh yeah also want to point out this line in his SL where he says "maybe I have anxiety or something". yeah. that's a line!)

akihiko fucking sanada. ohhhh man. this guy. where do i even START. he's so so crazy like what if your local high school upperclassman boxing champion guy was also really gay for his dying childhood friend and autistic as hell and also traumatized. and he's doing boxing in the first place to overcompensate because the death of his sister made him fear losing anyone else again snd he needs to feel like he has power. he needs control. yk? like this guy made me insane for like several months straight in 2023 and he still makes me ill. to this day. as you can probably tell by my distaste for people seeing yukari and junpei at face value you can probably gather that I hate the protein jokes and i Do. he said it like. Once in p3. it never rly was funny????? and what they did in spinoffs esp p4a to just make him look like a gym rat and nothing more makes me upset bc of the REASON he's obsessed with fighting. he's not just a dumb jock (he also isn't dumb lol he canonically scores very high on his exams) he's overworking himself because feelings of self doubt from trauma have caused him to feel the need to overcompensate so he never loses anyone again. you know? it would've been interesting to see him relapse in p4a if theyd actually done it well. like he doesnt rly give himself time or room to grieve in game (theres rhat onw scene on 10/5 and then he barely talks about it again. man i wish it was developed more...) so realizing that grieving isnt a linear process that he can just repress for a long time and even years after it can still hurt would go INSANE. but no they just turned him into i love protein joke number 20. okay!!! (im very angry) thinking about when my non persona friend after hearing me explain some of the plot described p3 as like a greek tragedy because like. damn. he and shinji were doomed from the start with personas like polydeuces and castor huh. anyways. yeah. continuing writing now that i've watched october 4th in reload AND akihiko's breakdown as a reuslt and i wanna scream and cry and throw up that will be for another post but ooh man it mad eme cry like 3 times. and I KNOEW WHAT HAPPENS. THEYRE SOOOOOOOOOO if you know me im an insane akishinji truther. im just. i wanna talk abt other charactrs so ill stop here but always ask me about akihiko + akishinji + ships i like in general. i am really normal. oh btw transmasc akihiko is forever real to me. also he's autistic and a ptsder. to me (tbf what persona character Doesnt have some form of truama but like. this guy in particular). up there with my highest blorbos

i dooont wanna go on for too long abt every other character in p3 so ill keep this next part short and sweet but if u wanna hear me talk more abt any of them. feel free to. starting with fuuka i love he rmy transfem autistic girlie who has every disease. i also love mitsuru a lot who i Wish had people acknowledge her deeper aspects more. like. she was experimented on and also very sheltered and also a little bit of a girlfail. shes not fully the girlboss you all say she is shes also just a teenage girl!!!!!!!!!! koromaru can do no wrong hes forever the best. i love that dog. ken makes me so so sad he is just a kid!!! what the hell!!!!!! :(. and oh man. shinji. guy who is so wracked with guilt. guy that is dying no matter what happens. guy that dies in his lover's arms

as far as non-sees characters. i rly like strega. esp jin and chidori. dont think abt them enough. also as far as SLs i like keisuke, hidetoshi, bunkichi and mitsuko, kazushi, yuko, and etc etc...i need to see rio and saoris links too they look real. oh also i LOVE ryoji

p4 time !!!!!!

again gonna cut this short so i can actually Fit it all in one post. but wow. i do like all of the IT so so much but im just focusing on my favs. anyways i love yu so much his autistic swagger esp in the animation is amazing. like he is not a "chad" he's just an autistic teenager. ok. also the animation broke me when nanako gets kidnapped he sounds fucking distraught there. love when people delve into yu's issues also bc hes a bit fucked up but Man. ouch. just like me fr tho

i love yosuke in a similar way to why I like junpei because he's kind of a loser /pos snd has some insane issues that his shadow delves into that are Kind of Insane for the FIRST shadow of the game. like ok damn. i really do love his social link in general tho his was the first one I maxed out in my (unfinished because i didn't want to finish it) p4g playthrough so!!!!! many things wrong with him and also the lgbt community has forgiven yosuke hanamura. also similarly to junpei he's adhd as hell. souyo ftw

naotos probably my fav p4 character I think which is Pretty Painful Sometimes. sometimes I need to kill both other persona fans and atlus if ykwim. but anyways i hc him as transmasc for one thing but also if atlus weren't cowards and actually made his story abt rhat it would've hit so hard. his shadow in general is often overlooked apart from that bc what about the part where he talks about being mistreated by others and feeling utterly alone and not allowing himself to act like a kid!!!! it fucks me up!!! he's also super autism btw like god damn. but YEAH point is I love naoto so much and i hate how both some fans and atlus tjemself treat him because his whole arc and shadow had the potential to be super compelling

apart from who i listed above i do like the rest of the IT so much they're such silly friends (i love you chie i love you yukiko i love you kanji i love you rise i love you teddie.). can't think of any SLs off the top of my head that were crazy but I do like daisuke and kou. OH ALSOO the dojimas..... 😢💧😢😢💧 love them

p5 time :3 I'm into it less so than p3 or p4 but Still

yusuke's my favorite p5 character probably. i domt know what it is apart from the common trend of my favs being autistic as hell (see: akihiko and naoto) but he's like. such a fucked up guy. he's traumatized. he loves art. something is deeply wrong with him. obsessed with this gug

i also do like ren/akira, ryuji, futaba, and also mishima (unfortunately. but in my defense there is something deeply wrong with him slash positive). i don't know a lot abt all of p5's confidants but i like iwai I think.... this reminded me I need to make more progress in p5 what the hell. i miss you futaba (i haven't even got to her palace yet im still on kaneshiros LOL)

but YEAH! thank you for asking!!! from the ones I've played my top favs are akihiko + naoto + yusuke respectively so👍👍👍 loved answering this :3 if u have any thoughts on a particular character feel free to ask and ill elaborate :3

[makuta-tobi]

bored huh? do the prime numbers then

you think i won't? i will. i'll do it. no readmore cause nothing matters

2. Are you outgoing or shy? mostly shy until i get to know you, then i become a problem

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? no one in particular? i might get to see megatron and/or tahu this summer.....

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I don't drink but presumably, if she wasn't also drunk

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i better be

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? mostly indifferent but it depends on how i'm feeling, often times it overstims me

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? to an extent

19. Do you like bubble baths? they're fine, but kinda boring i think

23. Do you have trust issues? not really? well, actually, maybe. feels like people are lying because there's no real effort to be engaging with me most the time but i'm always told "no we love to spend time with you" so yeah i guess

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? uhhh, i don't remember? probably not

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? i literally just cut it this morning, hair in the back is like 3/8" or something

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I don't, i usually just start swishing or kicking my feet and balling up my shirt

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? usually, but it depends on what they did, some things are beyond redemption. as a general rule, though, yeah

43. Do you smile at strangers? only if we accidentally make eye contact and they do it first, I'll mirror back

47. Have you ever been high? not afaik

51. Ever wished you were someone else? every day. like a specific person? i can't think of any individuals, but generally speaking? yeah

53. Favourite makeup brand? i don't really engage with it, so whatever is cheap and does what i need it for

57. Favourite food? teriyaki chicken and borger

59. First thing you ate this morning? s'mores cereal

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope, only major trouble I got into in school was in 8th grade when someone farted on the bus and i targeted by the driver for unrelated shit

67. Facebook or Twitter? lesser of two evils, personally, i'm picking facebook

71. Craving something? What? still thinking about how good a milkshake and/or iced coffee would hit right now

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? depends. normal nights there is at least 1 in the bed, but it's not mine, it's brandee's, and she cuddles with it. when i'm by myself on those rare occasions, then usually i do

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black with a knockoff white riamu with neon green skeleton on her shirt

81. Favourite tv show? uhhhh loaded question, i'll go a safe route and say kamen rider

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? never seen mg2 so the original ig

87. First person you talked to today? brandee? no wait okay i opened discord, the first person i directly addressed today was jules the french person in a server i'm in

89. Name a person you hate? ohhhh that's also loaded, and most of the people I directly hate are dead right now, so for my sake i guess I'll say Jay Patton yes i'm putting the full name

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? see above I guess?

97. Favourite actor? oof, there are too many to recount currently

101. Do you type fast? maybe a little, certainly not as fast as i used to. i used to be a member of a clan on xat that focused on speed fighting to defeat our enemies and i had to train hard to get to that point

103. Can you spell well? as well as any other person I guess, i'm not bad at it

107. Have you ever been on a horse? a few times

109. Is something irritating you right now i have a headache that has persisted for several hours, and I'm just frustrated by being alone with nothing good to do while i hear brandee button mash and laugh with her friends in the other room

113. What was your childhood nickname? i can't really recall any that weren't just people mispronouncing my name, which is all too common, but i gave myself the name tobi in 8th grade and that has stuck

127. What makes you happy? good stuff? what makes anyone happy yk

129. What your zodiac sign? karkat piseces

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? in this moment, feel a bit flustered and say awww thanks but try to move through life as normal

137. How tall are you? 5'6"

139. Brunette or Blonde? no preference

149. Do you believe in ghosts? to an extent, not entirely certain how they manifest but there's...something

you can ask other questions if you want

[suenitos]

your love post about dream just reminded me of something he said during a space. i can’t remember the exact words but it was something along the lines of understanding where his antis are coming from when they hate him for whatever he says or does bc you’re a different person in the perspectives of other people. and i remember being stumped when he said that cause that’s such a mature mindset to have? i love how he tries to do good, and at the same time i feel like he knows when to accept when he can’t change people’s minds. i obvi can’t read his mind but that’s how i interpreted it. but it just sucks now cause it’s a whole different story when it’s someone as close to him as tommy being at the opposing side :( i think we all know how hurt he is based on his likes, but i really hope it works out for him in the end, whether he makes up with tommy or not. i just want him to be at peace

i don’t know how articulate i am with this cause english isn’t my first language and i hopeeee i don’t sound too parasocial? 😭

good morning anon. youre so good dw about it i dont think you sound too parasocial at all. your english is great :) this got way too long so putting it under a readmore

i keep thinking about his "the internet is cold" statement and the way he doesnt immediately attribute someone disliking him to something malicious. he just kinda understands a lot of the shit against him is unserious at the end of the day and laughs it off which is admirable and maybe a bit scary (TO ME). i talked on priv a while back about him always reaching out to other ccs after they talk shit about him to clear up miscommunication over an assumption about HIS character, values, etc which is really mature and a minor droloism of mine but whatever. what makes this different is that it's someone he considered a close friend and very public shade/misrepresentation over another situation involving a personal project where he got burned by another "friend" like... thats just pure betrayal. i'd be pissed too! i'd be sooo mad OMG i'd rain hell on people.

the grind and fame seduces like no other... unfortunately most people value outrage and a quick buck and laugh over sincerity nuance and longevity and well thats the case with most dream discussions/mentions on the internet :( i feel conflicted because on one hand cc friendships and partnerships etc are awesome and amazing but there comes a point where most of the time shit happens (clout, money, etc) and they end messily so while i am sad about it sometimes it is the way it goes and not even dream is immune from that as a cc (snf munchy exempted). like its very danplan/try guys fallout to me (not exact matches but you get what i mean) its happened before and it has and will continue to happen to dream.

still feel really sad about it though because it was a really beautiful friendship born out of mutual respect and passion for the craft. loving people is scary as fuck because you dont know if or when they're gonna turn on you but we still do it anyway. i dont think its overly parasocial to say you wish him peace no matter what; at the end of the day he IS another guy and its not wrong to wish good on people you dont know. i hope it works out too :( many virtual hugs anonnie sorry for these walls of text jfc

[gurugirl]

I’ve been reading some of your stuff over the last week and while appreciate you write about anal sex you don’t write it realistically. You always leave out the part where they need to douche first. You can’t have anal sex without getting shit on a penis (or toy) if you don’t rinse it out first.

Unless you’re into that. Then ignore the tip.

Hooooboy… I should have just blocked you from that snarky tone but I'm gonna be nice and give you a little anatomy lesson instead and consider this me ignoring your "tip". lol

Putting a readmore here bc some of what I'm about to get into will not be for everyone.

Anal sex happens usually just in the anus (hence anal). You shouldn't have waste in your anus/anal area. Your colon processes waste and then it sits in your rectum until your body is ready to get rid of it. Only then does it pass through your anus. AND if you don't have some kind of illness or health issue, your anus should be clean and free of waste after going to the bathroom.

If you feel like you need to go #2 or haven't pooed or you have diarrhea or have a health condition that affects your bowels you are much more likely to get a little messy during anal sex. So yeah, those are instances where you'd run into some issues. But even then, a douche or enema isn't going to help you much.

Of course, in porn you'll see deep anal and the male or the toy penetrates into the rectum - which is totally not typical of regular people having anal sex. It's just unlikely that you'll have that issue. BUT let's say you have a huge dildo or the guy's got a really long dick and he's going at it hard (again porn style not realistic), okay... then perhaps you'd also run into an issue there - and that's when you'd want to douche or have an enema.

Otherwise, giving yourself an enema before anal sex is probably just not necessary. In fact, it can tear the lining in your rectum and cause you more issues than just getting a little waste on the toy or the guys dick.

So you're wrong. You absolutely can have anal sex without douching and not make a mess :)

You're welcome.

[psych-is-the-name]

This post was first uploaded to my Patreon. Please consider subscribing to get access to my original content a week before I put it on tumblr!

Not sure if anyone else will find this as interesting as I do, but this is what each of my super-long-posts look like in my files. 

first up is the first super long post i made, Bee Movie Script:

I made versions with and without text because I thought I'd be using this as a template for future posts (i was already committed to causing pain and suffering)

shortly after this post, tumblr increased the image limit from 10 to 30. Obviously keeping in theme with meme scripts I decided to do Shrek. There's a couple of revised images in this folder that I'll get into at another time.

now up to this point i was working in the image size of the longest image from the original "do you love the color of the sky" post. I have no idea why I decided to stick with that size for so long, but i did eventually realize I could make my images as long as i wanted. 

in comes the internet famous fic: my immortal

this was the first time were i actually felt bad for one of my posts. (but not enough to stop)

shortly after this my tumblr account got terminated (accused of selling accounts???) and all future projects were put on hold. and when i eventually did make a new account i simply reposted my old stuff.

after about 4 months I realized I wasnt getting my old account back, so got right back to being an annoying little shit.

I played around with text format to create a zipbomb/lag file under a "readmore". and created some glitch polls when the function first got introduced.

Eventually I looped back around to my super long image posts. just in time for April 1st! and this April 1st was the 10 year anniversary of the mishapocalypse

the statistics for this post were INSANE. in 24 hours it had reached 20k notes, and hilariously 2/3 of those were reblogs. people LOVED inflicting this on their followers. actually i should say "love" because even though it's May 22nd at the time of writing this, my mishapocalypse post is still getting notes.

and that brings us to my remake of "do you love the color of the sky" the post that originally inspired this whole reign of terror

as some people have pointed out in the notes of this post: yes i did repaint the whole thing from scratch. the original post was so crunchy i couldnt slap text on top of it and call it a day. and while i was remaking this classic post i made some changes (apart from the obvious) I used a watercolor brush I'd just downloaded to create the clouds simply because I wanted an excuse to test it out. and the stars in the night sky were given some fun galaxy colors (the original was only black and white) 

the only nit-pick i have with this remake is that too many people genuinely enjoy scrolling though it. not enough suffering for my liking! 

[raviniaraven]

@eldritchsquared This has made me very happy bc I love my Disaster Man and I gotta make more stuff with him

(Context for everyone else, I put these tags on a thing about OCs:)

This explanation is gonna be kinda long so I'm gonna put it into a ReadMore

So! This is one of my oldest OCs, Dorian Pierce!

I recently redrew him bc I'm hoping to make a short VN game for Halloween about him and another one of my OCs named Sana!

So explaining his story is hella complicated and idk if it makes sense but I'm gonna try! He lives in a town called Lacrymosa, and his initial plot is that he gets these blackout fugue states where he goes out and kills people, then shows back up at his house like "ah hell not again". He ends up in a relationship with my OC Sana, bc when he runs into her the fugue states stop, and only start up again when she's not around for too long. Sana is a sweetheart 100% and doesn't learn about the Murder Tendencies until they've been together for a hella long time, and the initial story I wrote for them revolved around when Dorian gets arrested for the murders, escapes, and while Sana is helping him hide they get into a shootout with police; he dies, she flips out and starts shooting at the people that shot him, and also dies.

That was the initial plan. Then I started fleshing it out more, and his backstory started to incorporate one of my other oldest OCs, Mystere:

This is Mystere! She's a God that's basically responsible for creating 95% of my OCs, as well as the afterlife that became my story focus as I developed more stuff, a place I called Libra; the current overall format of the stories that I'm working on involves a different character named Rayne who is a conduit for other spirit's memories, where she can relive them and repair spiritual damage (also she's Dorian's granddaughter, I'll get to that).

Dorian was originally a sort of guard of Libra, keeping unwanted powers from entering. Think the angels outside of the Garden of Eden, flaming sword and all. He ended up trying to usurp Mystere, and She handily kicked his ass; the scars he's got everywhere are from this Godly Ass-Kicking.

As a punishment for his actions, She made him into a human, and in the process his spirit got kinda scratched up and corrupted, which is what caused the fugue states. Sana has an innate ability to semi-repair damage to spirits, so being around her calms Dorian's fugue states; she doesn't know about this, she's just sweet and likes helping people.

So after their deaths, both Dorian and Sana end up back in Libra as their afterlife. Through rules about spiritual connections based on affection and relationships, they end up creating the spirit of their son, Dante. Dante eventually decides he wants to see what stuff is like outside of Libra, and manages to convince Mystere to make him human (since the process is willing this time, it's not as damaging as it was to Dorian).

Unfortunately, he's kind of an asshole. Dante ends up being a dictator of a place I called Imperi, and does a lot of pretty awful shit, including waging massive wars and experimenting with human augmentations (I have a handful of characters that are the results of these experiments, they're kinda lizard/human hybrids)

Eventually, Dorian and Sana are sent back to the human world for the purpose of trying to stop their dick of a son from destroying everything. They arrive in the middle of a revolution, as Dante is trying to escape Imperi. Sana tries to talk to him about what he's been doing, he says some insulting things to her, and Dorian gets pissed. You know how I mentioned that he used to have a flaming sword? He got it back when they went to stop Dante, and uses the spirit-specific nature of the sword to basically slice Dante's spirit in half.

This leads to Dante becoming Cursed, and I still have to flesh out the details of what that means beyond a change in appearance, but he ends up hiding out in another country I made called Gelia. He mainly wanted to hide out in Gelia bc that's where his ex-wife, Aura, went when the revolution hit Imperi; Aura wants nothing to do with him, but he wanted to stay close to keep an eye on their daughter, Rayne.

Eventually Rayne becomes friends with Dante (she doesn't know it's him, she knows him by the name Damien and she's only seen old photos of Dante). They end up going to help some of Rayne's friends that got stuck on an island where a lot of the lizard hybrids caused by Dante's experimentation ended up, and eventually one of the hybrids recognizes Dante and tries to attack him; Rayne tries to protect him and ends up dying instead, ending up in Libra and meeting her grandparents and a bunch of other related characters.

I have a massive family tree of related characters that end up in Libra, and eventually I'm going to write a good draft of the story I'm planning out of Rayne being a Conduit and experiencing all of their memories and stuff. I think I have some hella old drafts floating around on different fiction sites, but their pretty far from canon now

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gush about my babies! I hope this made any sort of sense, in my head all this kinda looks like a corkboard full of drawings and red strings