#put downs

[unwelcome-ozian]

[ablackwomansurvivingrape]

Verbal Abuse: 10 Signs and How to Get Help

1. Degrading your self worth

It's common for verbal abusers to try to make you feel bad about yourself. Zrenchik says they may use statements such as: 

"You're worthless."

"You're an embarrassment."

"You are not important to me or anyone."

"You are disgusting."

"You're crazy."

They may say things like this to lower your self-worth, in hopes of keeping you trapped in an abusive relationship. "When you have low self-esteem, you are easier to control and will tolerate intolerable behavior," Zrenchik says.

2. Making you believe you're not liked by others

Zrenchik says verbal abuse is all about using power to control someone. If an abuser can keep you isolated from others, they'll have even more control and influence over you. 

They may criticize your words or behaviors, saying something like, "This is why no one likes you." This has the potential to put a greater distance between you and your loved ones, since your abuser's attempts may cause you to believe that you're unliked or unloved by others, says Zrenchik.

3. Manipulating you

An abuser may use manipulative statements to coerce or guilt you into doing something that you do otherwise, says Christie Kederian, licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice.

For example, they might say, "If you really loved me, you would stay home with me tonight instead of going out with your friends," or "If you really loved me, you would keep the details of our relationship private."

4. Any kind of name-calling

Zrenchik says name-calling is designed to harass or make fun of someone, so you can be sure when your partner is calling you these things, they're trying to put you down and hurt your self-esteem. 

If your partner calls you names like "dumb," "fat," "stupid," or any other type of insult, they are engaging in a primary form of verbal abuse, says Kederian. This is degrading to you and makes your partner feel more in control. 

5. Threatening to leave 

Verbal abusers may threaten to leave the relationship if things don't go exactly the way they want. 

For instance, a threat such as "If you don't do this, I'll leave you," can cause a victim to cater to the abuser's wishes. Threats and if/then statements are meant to scare the victim into staying with the abuser and under their control, Kederian says. 

6. Condescending comments and put-downs

An abuser might make snide, condescending remarks to put you down and try to make you feel bad about yourself so that you question your abilities and self-worth. 

For example, Kederian says they might tell you, "No wonder you can never get a promotion, you're always behind on your work and you can never get anything done." Again, this goes back to lowering your self-esteem so you're easier to control.

7. Gaslighting

A major tactic of verbal abusers is gaslighting, where an abuser says things that make you question reality and second guess yourself. 

Elizabeth Jarquin, a licenced marriage and family therapist in private practice and adjunct professor at Northcentral University, says a few types of gaslighting are:

When the abuser tries to convince you that your feelings or thoughts are wrong.

When the abuser straight up tells you that your emotions or feelings are wrong.

When the abuser undermines you, saying something like, "Are you sure? What you're saying doesn't sound true."

8. Ignoring you

An abuser may use their words (or no words at all) by either not acknowledging your existence, says Jarquin.  This is an attempt by the abuser to keep the power in their hands and cause you to feel belittled. 

A 2018 study found that this is a common method of emotional abuse. The majority of study participants (61%) said their romantic partner refused to talk to them in an attempt to punish or hurt them. 

9. Not letting you speak

A verbal abuser may not allow you to speak. "Essentially, they are not allowing the other person to communicate with them. By doing this, they are exerting control over the individual's voice," says Jarquin. 

When you don't even have a chance to say your piece or stand up for yourself, there is a clear power imbalance in the relationship.

10. Blaming you

Verbal abusers may blame you for their own toxic behavior. For example, Jarquin says an abuser might yell, "It's your fault I screamed at you. You pissed me off." This is because abusers often refuse to take ownership for their own actions.

11. Pushing you to hurt yourself

"There is no more dangerous and damaging act a verbal abuser can take than trying to push you to the point of self-harm or suicide. If your partner is telling you to harm yourself, this is a clear sign of danger," Zrenchik says. 

For example, they might explicitly say something like, "Why don't you just go kill yourself?" 

This language is explicitly used to attempt to hurt you and put you at risk — especially if you have a history of mental illness or suicide attempts. 

[bootdork]

I wish it was easier to talk about mobile phone addiction without sounding like a boomer

[heartsmade4more]

When someone puts you down and treats you badly, just remember there is something wrong with them, not you. Decent people will not go around destroying other human beings because they will respect others feelings.

[eastgaysian]

[asweetprologue]

this is so devastating. laois should have just shot him with a gun

[cozylittleartblog]

cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes

just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks

there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.

edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.

#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

[officialspec]

modern au but set in brisbane. is this anything

[artistic-cocoon]

Saw someone on twt say they wanted to see Percy drawn like Yusuf Dikec and I couldn't help myself

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[canonkiller]

but you can't keep holding on like this.

[chloeworships]

Ugh idk who you are but you’re such a good boyfriend. WOW.

I also have music that will confirm this message to whoever it’s for. Several songs actually. It’s been a minute since I received songs ⤵️ I couldn’t find a version without cuss words so yall forgive me. The video sends a message.

Whose man is this chilleeeeeee 🥰😍😌 does he have SINGLE GODLY male friends?

🤣🤣🤣

This reminds me of how kind Drake was to me in one of my dreams where he meal prepped for me to get better. ❤️‍🩹 I’ll never ever forget that 😇

PS. You know what they say “a dog is a man’s best friend” 🐶🐾 *me woofing* 🤣🤣

PPS. You know who comes to mind…. Alex Fine, Cassie’s Husband 😌💍🤠

Oh and someone’s LOVES the guitar 🎸 oh yessssss babes. Music heals.

I forgot to mention Kat Von D as well and look 👀

I just cannot. She recently gave her life to Jesus and I’m sure many people judged her.

[fakakta-art]

Jason: *terrified, thinks he's gonna die* Bruce: *used to carrying Dick around like a ferret* small child. so small.

[madewithonerib]

They do not speak against you, because that would be dealing directly; they deal indirectly

You know, when you're in that spirit. it's always about the other person. Who's he putting down?

GOD

But that's the deception of gossip.

You see, his real intention, he knows he cannot destroy GOD, real intention is to destroy you.

Those who receive the gossip, are those who receive destruction in their spirits.

Gossip is primarily against the one doing it.

............................................................................................... 1 Corinthians 3:17 If anyone destroys GOD’s Temple — GOD will destroy him; for GOD’s Temple is holy and you are that Temple. ...............................................................................................

We don't seem to take GOD's warnings seriously

Esteem others more highly than yourself—knowing moment we don't, the old sin nature will find ways to extort/threaten/force our will & subjugate others via manipulation/policy/shame/threats.

Do we feel entitled & think GOD only loves us? Did we forget how low we were brought?

The truth is we were all GOD's enemies, and that is why GOD sent HIS SON to redeem all tribes/nation people who had no other hope in life, because we were all walking the death march.

Philippians 2:3-11 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more highly than yourself.

⁴ Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Let this mind be in you which was also in CHRIST JESUS:

⁶ WHO, existing in the form of GOD, did not consider equality with GOD something to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied HIMSELF, taking the form of a servant, being made in human like -ness. ⁸ And being found in appearance as a man — HE humbled HIMSELF and became obedient to death, even death on a cross.

⁹ Therefore GOD exalted HIM to the highest place & gave HIM the Name above all names, ¹⁰ that at the Name of JESUS every knee should bow, in heaven & on earth & under the earth, ¹¹ & every tongue confess that JESUS CHRIST is LORD,

........................................................................................... to the glory of GOD the FATHER." ...........................................................................................

Romans 14:11 | ¹¹ It is written: “As surely as I live — says the LORD, every knee will bow before ME; every tongue will confess to GOD”

How to Disagree | Timothy J. Keller

[beansoun]

Out of the 12 PhDs Ford has, not a single one is in medicine I'm afraid.