#purely bc no one wanted to deal w the emotional baggage of explaining funerals to a kid | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-casbah-way · 29 days ago

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stupid family bullshit below the cut

i just found out that my dad had an older brother who died in a car crash when he was 11 and no one told us. apparently it was the entire reason my granddad was so sad and quiet all the time because it fucked him up forever

#ask to tag #also found out in the same convo that my other granddad used to beat the shit out of my mum #less surprising because he did that to me too but damn #didn’t even find out because anyone told me it’s because my auntie posted about her brother on fb #and when i brought it up to my sister we talked abt all the other shit they hid from us and a bunch more stuff came up #now i have to tell my brother. sigh #i hate how emotionally constipated everyone here is like why don’t they tell us anything #they didn’t tell me when my dad got cancer twice #didn’t tell me when my uncle died of cancer i just showed up on christmas and he wasn’t there #i wasn’t allowed to go to my grandfathers funeral even though he was my primary caretaker for 9 years #purely bc no one wanted to deal w the emotional baggage of explaining funerals to a kid #MAN. fucks sake. fuck this #i love some of my family in theory but sometimes i wonder if i should just give up and cut contact #the person i love the most has been dead most of my life now and we’ll never get to move back to the highlands. what is the point #that was what i wanted. the rest of this isn’t worth it. i’m tired of being lied to #the more i think about it the more i’m clinging to this family because it’s the closest thing to my granddad i still have #but i just want him i don’t want any of this. so i think i should move on maybe

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