#puns and knives

[rosieshipper]

Rose: Oh man it sure smells like henway in here

Joel:…

Ellie: Dad…doesn’t it smell like henway in here?

Joel: *sighs in defeat* What’s a hen-

Rose: ABOUT TEN POUNDS!

Ellie: *wheezes*

Joel: You both are weird kids

Tags: @astralshipper @aricka-and-her-fictional-others @magicalpuppyprincess @wolfofthedead

[uselessimpulses]

there is a war in my mind between my beloveds suffering and holding them in my hands like a hamburger

[ednav]

Of course I love how Benoit Blanc is so shamelessly, fabulously, himself. How he’s gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide [GNU Terry Pratchett]. How he doesn’t hide that his brain is peculiar, for better or for worse. How he picks the cases he likes.

But I also love that in Glass Onion Rian Johnson shows us that Blanc can choose to be himself because he’s protected by his privilege of rich, upper-class, white man.

Which in turn leads me to notice how in both movies Blanc uses his privilege to protect a working-class woman and a Black woman, but he always refuses to be their saviour. He just creates the conditions in which they can choose to be themselves and save themselves—and punish their oppressors.

[Edit: A couple of people pointed out that Marta is actually white, even if the Thrombeys would probably disagree. I’d add that Helen isn’t exactly working-class, she’s simply less rich than the Disruptors shitheads. Anyway: I apologise—I’ve edited the post.]

[restricted-on-13th]

My art for Janus by HalfaGone (yeeeeeee) in Ghouls & Gangs DPxDC, please check it out. I promise you won't be dissapointed! Shower some love, hearts, comments and kudos to @halfagone

Here's some sketches of scenessssss (sob I wanted to finish them hrk) in the totally freaking awesome fic of HalfaGone! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh~

man i hate dimensions and proportions... that throne took me so long to figure out...

Do me a favor and check out Janus by HalfaGone cause I'm gooooonnnneeee for their fics. Either like a bride swept by their groom or a widow getting their husbands news of death. This is 13th, now signing off~

Check out some sick cool fics and arts in @dpxdcbigbang

[redinthesea]

This started with just Togevash as a joke but it spiraled out of control and I eventually started adding more and more characters. Not sure what motivated this but hey, it exists now. Creatures.

[elalalune]

Pine, fir, yew

Fir, yew

Yew knew I knew

Yew knew I mist hour mind

Wood always long fir

Always bank in-

Wood always pine

Fir yew

Cosmo Sheldrake – The Woods

[yourdicc]

they not beating the noncon incest allegations...

[spibder]

What’s the one thing Vash The Stampede couldn’t do??

Save-rem that’s correct!! ^_^ -knives, probably

is this what u wanted

[manthatthingisafreak]

It's gay no matter what way you slice it <---*points to myself*

[acidmatze]

Plant gender might be really complicated and we don't get much information from canon or anywhere but from the information we Do get i can say with full confidence that Vash is afab (assigned french at birth) while Knives is amab (assigned murderer at birth).

[whom-to-kill-whom-to-let-live]

Ah lads, I might have gone off the rails in my desperation for Legato fanfics and ended up writing my own.

[tomboyyyaoi]

i do still feel sour abt how they babyfied elendira in stampede but honestly? seeing her in ep10 fixed that a bit, yeah it still feels off but theyve got her vibes perfect and shes honestly great and really fun from what weve seen so far, im hoping for some blood boiling hatered between her and meryl after... elevator scene...

also just as a side i really hate ppl speculating shes not trans anymore just bc shes younger. they wouldntve got a cis guy to voice a little girl for no reason

[the-punforgiven]

I had a dream last night that I was getting into a knife fight with a really generic 1930s mobster trope character at a shady speakeasy surrounded by bystanders but I pulled out a second knife and he called me an edgelord and everyone laughed at me for bringing a second knife to the knife fight

[neutronian]

ty betteridge has no business turning his nose up at mike's little teehee jokes after that punfest.

[silvcrignis]

@muutos because God himself was telling us to {x}

He smells her RIGHT before she collides into his chest, at a breakneck pace, honestly he was lucky he wasn’t exactly considered something human or she would’ve taken them BOTH down & likely caved in his ribs. As it was, he remained standing one arm instinctively dropping to catch her in a hold that looked disproportionately romantic in such a… Decrepit setting especially when he turned to make sure she wasn’t hurt as his other hand landed a KNIFE in the skull of the persistent Cerberus scampering after her without even looking in it’s direction, & he realised their noses were INCHES apart & his eyes widened at that fact, this was literally an Apocalypse, there was NO time to come on to random woman, even if they were glaringly his type.

His throat cleared & he very quickly set her upright & stepped back, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I am assuming you ran out of bullets. Something tells me that is one of the only reasons why someone like you would be running,” he drawled, folding his arms.

[lolly-dolli]

I'm sending you this to make you talk about Beezy on your tumblr. Inflict him upon the internet for me, I love him, give me the clownboy

Oh no

Alright motherfucker, prepare to unleash the most normal of Azzy's adult siblings (well. Minus Levi but she still has terrible anxiety and DOES want to kill a man but it's only the one guy and everyone hates him)

Content warning for uuuh....I guess murder and cannibalism are the worst Beezy has in his backstory? He's not really all that fucked up over the antichrist bit mostly just relieved he has The Shakies from what species he is and on account of he has a brain disorder

Beatrice/Beelzebub (because his pa just renames all his kids, he reckons), is a Funny Little Guy who is pretty nice once you get past his unsettlingly sharp teeth (you're pretty sure he has more than one row somehow...?), tall, wiry frame and the whole...cannibalism part.

This is probably owed to the fact that, in his own words, "his ma raised him right."

Beezy was born the Prince of Gluttony in a cozy little encampment in the Great Smoky Mountains of North Carolina with a full he'd of baker-miller pink hair and a full set of teeth. His Ma is the matriarch of a family of pig farmers who, in the warmer months, enjoy hunting the...longer variety of pig, if you catch my drift; and his father, as far as he knows, was some stiff in a three-piece suit who was the one that got away. Literally!

She was apparently so impressed at this man's ability to navigate the woods at night despite his highly impractical attire and straight-up refusal to die that taunting turned to banter turned to flirting, and to her surprise, he accepted. The rest was history, including...whatever that kind of relationship was called was by morning. She said it wouldn't've worked out long-term, though, so no skin off her back.

Nine months later, Beezy came into the world, and his Ma was apparently so tired of waiting for a girl to name after her great-great-grandma that she just decided "y'know what? Everything about this kid is weird already and we ain't the sorta people t' judge. His name's Beatrice."

This would set the tone for the rest of Beezy's life.

Beezy's species technically doesn't have a name - what they're called tends to align with whatever local folklore they line up best with, because for the most part, they read as feral to other demons and any human unfortunate enough to walk into the territory of a hungry one.

Azzy would call him a Fae, but Beezy would probably prefer the term Rougarou, on account a' fairies only sometimes eat people, and that's what his family called them growing up.

He's actually the most socialized one of him known to demon society, and probably the most well-fed despite the number of ribs one can see through his skin.

His species has a notoriously high metabolism, meaning they tend to be opportunistic predators and take whatever they can get, and they simply have very little time to socialize--so little that most of their language is nonverbal, as they tend to be solitary and nomadic in lifestyle. Most are actually, contrary to popular belief, omnivorous, but gathering is a lot less quick than hunting.

Because Beezy has access to a regular supply of food, his status as a carnivore is more a choice than anything else. Azzy is working on changing that, though their other brother Andy have had more luck since fruit is at least sweet, and it's very hard to convince a nineteen year old that scurvy is something he can actually get outright rather than hiding vegetables in a smoothie.

He's a big fan of sweets.

His family ingrained in him the belief that it's important not to waste food (being as they live pretty off the grid), and he likes making "people sweets" with rendered fat and ligaments (don't accept candy from him unless you want to find out what gelatin made from a person tastes like).

He didn't meet his siblings until very recently, and was just kind of dropped into the Hellbound Antichrist Pile by his father in hopes of kickstarting the battle royale that is deciding an heir after being told he was going to come stay with him for a bit and meet his family.

Unluckily for Satan, the average Beezy-Azzy argument looks more like this than it does any sort of actual bloodbath.

Azzy is constantly playing 5D chess with anyone he doesn't fully trust (and sometimes even them too), and Beezy is actually pretty emotionally intelligent for a hick in clown makeup, so he thinks it's funniest to respond by Bugs Bunnying him about it.

Despite this, they genuinely do care about each other a lot, Azzy will just...never admit it outright. Instead he'll tell Beezy to stop nibbling the skin on his fingertips raw and make him wear a pair of gloves he made him which he made sure will match his outfit, so put on the gloves before you give yourself an infection, Beezy.

Beezy is like a human demon knifecat in teasingly saying that Azzy does love him.

He'll then proceed to very earnestly play devil's advocate against factory farming as a practice to piss Azzy off, and the cycle repeats. Such is life