#punished by rewards is pretty long with a lot of studies etc but its just nice when I see it mentioned in other areas like philosophy

[setewbro]

ANOTHER LOSE FOR PUNISHMENT, BLAME, PRAISE AND REWARD 😍

It's honestly embarrassing how happy I feel when I engage in my current hyperfixation (determinism, lack of free will)

[honeysuckle-venom]

Hey! I have a question about Judaism/Jewishness (and kind of, religious trauma I guess?).

I think my question is, I know there’s different sects of Judaism, and that Hebrew and (mis)translations can be very complicated, and that it isn’t really a one-size-fits-all kind of thing… but… in general, in Judaism, are there beliefs that Jewish people hold about the world/themselves/etc?

I keep thinking about the sect of Christianity I was raised in. Even though I never believed in the god that they were talking about, the general beliefs of “If you do all these things and follow all the pomp and circumstance, and try really really hard, one day you *might* be redeemable” etc., seems like a really messed up message to tell anyone.

So I guess my question is like, if there *are* general Judaism beliefs or like, core values, how do you feel like those changed or impacted your perception of yourself?

I’m sorry that I only know how to relate this to Christianity, and I hope I didn’t word it offensively. (And feel free to delete this if it is offensive or you just don’t want to answer.)

Judaism seems like a really cool, genuine religion, and I like learning more about it, and I appreciate your point of view :)

Hi Anni!

Thank you so much for the fascinating question! This wasn't in any way offensive, and even if it had been I don't mind answering offensive questions as long as they're asked in good faith, so everyone please feel free to ask me any questions without worrying about sounding ignorant or offensive.

This question required a lot of thought. I also want to acknowledge that I'm answering this from a largely Reform and Conservative framework. Also, this is going to get VERY long, so I'm putting my answer below the cut

Judaism emphasizes actions much, much more than beliefs, and honestly I had never before really considered whether there were core Jewish beliefs. After thinking about it for a while and talking about it with my Dad, the closest I came up with was the idea of "B'tzelem Elohim" which translates to "in the image of G-d." This is the idea that every single human being was created in G-d's image, and therefore is deserving of being treated with dignity. I think that is a pretty central belief that underlies a lot of Jewish thought and Jewish laws.

Besides that, a lot of it comes down to "Jews have a responsibility to live an ethical life." Ethics are really big in Judaism, and you're supposed to live an ethical and righteous life, but not for any sort of tangible reward or fear of punishment. You're supposed to do it for its own sake, because it's the right thing to do. Some more religious Jews might also say that it's because it's what G-d wants you to do, but that's still different from doing it because you're scared G-d will strike you down if you don't. There are 613 Jewish mitzvot (commandments) which you're supposed to follow if you're Jewish, and those help you to lead an ethical life. (If you're not Jewish you're only required to follow 7 laws, the Noahide laws, to be righteous). But many Jews today don't follow every single one of those laws, and emphasize more certain prevalent ideas in Jewish ethics and culture. Those ideas include values such as the importance of justice, the importance and holiness of study and education, the responsibility to treat others as you would want to be treated and to act towards others with chesed (loving-kindness), etc.

As for Jewish ideas about the world, most Jews believe that the world is, to a certain extent, deeply flawed or broken, and that we all have a responsibility to work to heal or repair it (an idea called tikkun olam). This happens to be one of my favorite Jewish concepts.

As for how growing up Jewish and surrounded by these ideas and values has changed my perception of my self, well, that's complicated. Because I've been surrounded by it my whole life in some ways it's hard to say, I don't know who I would have been if I had grown up in another culture. In some ways even my idea of the concept of "self perception" might be different from people who aren't Jewish. Because so much of Judaism is about action and how you interact with the world, my perception of myself is constantly changing and is based in some part on how I interact with the world rather than some fixed internal idea. But there are a number of ways in which I think growing up Jewish has influenced how I perceive myself.

I don't fear hell, or some divine punishment. Not to belittle others' beliefs or the severe trauma many undergo being taught about hell, but the idea of hell has honestly always been kind of ridiculous to me. I could never believe that G-d would do something like that, and I would never worship a god who would. I don't believe in thought-crime and don't punish myself for my thoughts, and I think that's because I grew up in a culture where actions were what mattered, not thoughts. I have a very particular dark sense of humor that came from being Jewish. I believe that I have inherent worth and dignity because of the idea of B'tzelem Elohim, and I believe that I have a responsibility to live my life in certain ways. I value education and questioning very highly, and in many ways that's a good thing, but there's also a lot of pressure to achieve academically that I experienced that came in part from being Jewish. I feel a certain amount of pressure to have children and carry on the legacy of Judaism, which at times in my life has been difficult. Overall being Jewish I think has positively impacted my sense of self and has very much shaped my values, but there are some areas where it has added certain pressures I think.

I also have an amount of certainty about my identity because of being Jewish. I went to Jewish daycare, then Jewish preschool, then when I started secular kindergarten I also started attending Hebrew School twice a week. I experienced antisemitism starting in preschool. In times when I've felt completely lost about who I am, one thing I know is that I am Jewish. There's no real way to stop being Jewish. There's nothing I would ever do that would mean that I wasn't Jewish anymore, for all of the good and all of the bad that gives me. And I'm very aware of my place within the Jewish people and within Jewish history. I can feel thousands of years of history and ancestors with me when I do the same rituals and say the same words and study the same texts they did. That gives me a sense of certainty and belonging that I find really valuable.

I don't...know if this answered your question, tbh. This was tricky for me to figure out how to answer. I'd be happy for this to be an ongoing conversation, so if you have any further questions about what I said here or if I didn't really answer your question or if you have other questions please feel free to send in more asks!

[lupana-of-laminar]

So... there’s been something on my mind lately, something that I feel like a lot of younger people (though in high school and college) can relate to and really need to hear. This will probably be long, so be warned.

In short: I wanna share my experience with you guys on a particular situation that I found myself in.

To begin, I need you to understand that I was raised to be the best I could be. I was smart, froendly, never did drugs, etc, and I was an honors student because I worked hard. But I also was horrible at taking tests. I have text anxiety and no matter what, I couldn’t shake it. I’d talk myself out of the right answer, or get so nervous that my mind would blank. I also have a genetic condition that affects me, but didn’t know this at the time. So even though I worked my butt off, I was stressed and still hated tests.

Even so, I managed to go to college and studied in my dream job since I was a child. And things got harder.

This is also where I should mention that I had lots of financial aid and was enrolled in a state funded program that helped low income families. But to keep my enrollment, I had to have a certain number of credits per sementer (which meant lots of classes), and HAD to matain an average grade point.

I was smart, and I was studying for a job I would love, but I was struggling again. I went to my teachers, my advisors, and asked for help. There wasn’t much they could do. At least, that’s what I was told. My grades started slipping. I was desperate. And when you’re desperate, you tend to do stupid things.

I decided to cheat.

So when we were self-grading our tests one day, I changed a few of my answers. Not many. Just enough to give me maybe 15 points. And definitely not enough to give myself an A or B. If I knew I definitely knew the answer and had been stupid, I changed it, stuff like that. And I only did enough that I thought it would help keep my grades where they needed to be.

I did it a second time. And I got caught.

The teacher had been suspicious after my first attempt. So she was prepared and had proof the second time. She called me into her office, and there was another lady there; I can’t remember who she was but she was important.

My teacher asked me if I had cheated. I was scared and my heart was pounding. But I kept a straight face, and calmly said I didn’t. Then she showed me the proof. The second she did that, I knew I was busted. I was already scared and smotionally unstable, so I broke down crying there and admitted to everything.

Perhaps my punishment wouldn’t have been so bad if I had come clean when she gave me the chance. But the fact that I lied TO HER FACE was unforgivable in itself. I was told I’d either get a fail on the test itself, a fail in the class, or expulsion.

I remember being in a daze as I left. I remember talking in the hall to another student in my class because she could see I was upset and asked what was wrong. I remember going to my car, and shakily dialing my parents because I knew I had to tell them. I lived an hour away from campus and had to stop driving multiple times because I would start crying again.

To their credit, my parents were wonderful. They didn’t like what I’d done, but didn’t make things worse. They suggested I apologize to the teacher via letter, which I did. And I also apologized to her again in person. I don’t remember what I wrote exactly, but I know I said that I didn’t want the letter to affect the outcome of her decision.

In the end, I got a zero in the class, and after lots of talks with the financial department etc, I think I was able to keep it from affecting my permanent record. But honestly I haven’t looked so idk. I never re-enrolled for another semester either.

This all happened over 9 years ago. Its something I wasn’t able talk after or even THINK about for 2 of those years. Just the thought gave me anxiety and I mentally shut down. My parents are the only ones who really know what happened. And while I have no concrete proof, I’m convinced that this incident was one of the main reasons I was later disgnosed with depression.

Things are better now. I haven’t gone back to school, but I’ve had several jobs that have been rewarding and nice. Not all of them are what I thought I’d be doing - or even fully LIKE - but I have money for things. I am medicated for my mental health. Things are pretty good.

The point of this story that I’m trying to make is this: Please please please think about things before you act, no matter how desperate you are. Because it can screw up your life. But also, if you do mess up, its okay. Life goes on and things will get better. I promise that.

But on the other hand, looking back, the school system also failed me in a way. If I had had sufficient help, I wouldn’t have feltthe need to cheat in the first place. Yes, cheating on those tests was the stupidest, most foolish thing I could have done. And I of course regret it. But also, screw you academia. You need to help your students before they reach this point.

[fameplagued]

❛ harry styles, 21, cismale, he/him ❜ was that EZRA WARD i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a JUNIOR is late to class. then again, the MUSIC MAJOR has been known to be pretty HEDONISTIC. maybe being so CHARISMATIC helps keep them out of trouble. i heard they aren’t an angel, though, and that they are BISEXUAL and love RISKY/PUBLIC SEX + MAKING AMATEUR PORN. 

ayyye friends, i’m happy to be here! i’m g, here to introduce my ugly son, he’s a mix of a few different characters i’ve played before but never quite like this so i’m hype :~) 

VISAGE: HARRY STYLES (MOSTLY CIRCA LATE 2014 & 2015 bc long hair)

VOICE-CLAIM (SPEAKING ACCENT & SINGING): HARRY STYLES

OTHER KINKS: CHOKING, ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL, BEGGING, WORSHIP (REC)(GIV), PUNISHMENT + REWARD, ANAL, SPANKING, MARKING, BITING, HAIR PULLING, RIMMING (REC)(GIV), DADDY KINK, SIZE DIFFERENCE, VOYEURISM,  CLOTHES ON, GROUP SEX, SEXUAL PAIN, ORDERS (REC)(GIV), 

(ASK ABOUT OTHERS)

CANON TATTOOS (*MOSTLY)

born / raised just outside of manchester, england. comes from a wealthy yet extremely neglectful upbringing. his mother is english, his father is american, meaning since he was born in england, he’s of of dual citizenship. his family moved to his father’s home state of pennsylvania when he was 14, which is when he first starter his youtube channel

ok so a big thing is that ezra’s slow but currently steady rise to fame within the music industry has been alarmingly quick and that fact has shaped a lot of his personality; think justin bieber or shawn mendes with their gaining an initial fanbase and then a loyal following via starting out on youtube / other social media outlets as a young teenager, only with a much messier, Rockstar™ persona and you have ezra ward

there’s a pretty distinct difference between the version of himself that much of his dedicated fanbase perceptions are based on, and the Real Him. in the media he’s gradually becoming more of a household name for being a musician with a mostly positive message, an inclusive fanbase, a charming personality and being an all around humble, approachable, likable young guy

in his personal life, things are a bit,, different. he’s a hedonist, through and through, in that his pursuit of pleasure ranks far above everything else on his priority list. he’s also extremely sybaritic meaning crazy self indulgent when it comes to luxury, and in his late teens when he had the world at his fingertips, it was all about having the Best everything (mini bars, expensive cars, the good champagne, n private planes- ok i’ll shut up now no one needs my bad 1d references rn)

so basically he spent ages 17-19 as a touring musician after forming a backing band built of some his closest friends from high school, all the while earning his associates in arts in music through an online program; balancing social media as a full time job, getting to perform live in any kind of larger capacity, and still doing well in college posed quite a challenge, especially as he became more focused on the rockstar lifestyle and less on school

still, he never stopped wanting to learn as much as he possibly could about music, determined to become a master of his craft, so he earned his degree and kept hungry for knowledge. after a near-overdose the summer after he turned 19 however, his parents and their what felt to him like faux-concern at the time eventually talked him into putting touring and gaining celebrity status on the back burner for a while

in exchange for a proposed change in habits and lifestyle, they offered to pay for him to apply for and attend the prestigious university of his choice so he could get his bachelor’s degree in music theory, something he agreed to after heavy deliberation, and only after he had a personal realization about just how much the limelight was getting to him, the brighter it became did he decide it was for the best that he stepped back from it to focus on school

choosing college over touring /  growing the band’s popularity cost him a few members of his backing band / friends who had no interest in ‘waiting around for him to finish getting some stupid degree’ and went on to pursue other projects, which meant he no longer had the same support system in that group of friends that he’d become so used to, and that lead him to seek out a new one almost as soon as he was enrolled at northridge as a freshman: he immediately pledged omega pi  (bc we all know what a frat boy harry looked like at 19, hello, i’m not passing that up), finding that he fit right in with its reputation for being full of guys who were heavily focused on partying, and now that he’s a junior he’s in charge of marketing & recruitment :~)

his appetite for pleasure & luxury coupled with still considering himself a rich, successful musician and just being an incredibly sexually fueled person in general makes for a really delicious and dangerous mix ngl and so far in his 21 short years he’s lived a pretty Wildt life, even while at college

he hasn’t released anything music-wise for the couple of years he’s been at university, but he wants 22 (he turns that soon hi he’s an aquarius ass bitch) to be the year that changes, where he delves back into it and truly becomes the artist he was ~destined to be~ or whateva

frequently considers whether or not he made the right choice in essentially choosing college over being an artist / celebrity for the time being, and wonders if dropping out would be the better option (esp bc he thinks he only has so much Time anyway, more info below), but always talks himself out of it

is Firmly Set on the idea he’s going to be part of the 27 club (my boi is already almost 22 like :/ excuse u sir, snap out of that? someone give him a reason to live lmfao no i’m kidding i promise)

has an underlying hopelessly romantic side / has had a lot of either toxic or very intense relationships / has hurt & been hurt by a lot of people, so he has an extreme aversion to emotional attachment and falling in love / prefers casual sex / thinks he’ll never have a long term relationship again (yikes ik like hi get some therapy babe)

he’s reckless, impulsive, can be incredibly domineering, drinks too much, fucks too much (if that’s possible), and (drugs tw) does way too much coke for fun and too much adderall for studying, definitely every bit the ~tortured artist~ even though most of his issues are rooted in like, mommy/daddy issues and (homophobia tw) knowing his parents wouldn’t accept or support him any longer if they knew that he was bisexual

to sum it all up, he’s here for a good time, not a long time, and while he is here, he wants to learn all that he possibly can about music because to him it’s basically the meaning of life ok

that’s?? pretty much all i have for now, i will probably update this again at some point but i don’t want to make it too long because i definitely want to develop him within this group as i go along and besides it was just TIME for me to get something up

i’ll have a connections page up soon but some ideas off the top of my head are: best friends (platonic or otherwise), fwb, exes on good or bad terms, someone who also grew up in pennsylvania / maybe knows him from high school?, enemies w/ benefits, hookups via sorority/frat parties, professors he’s earned ~extra credit~ with or whateva, someone who was a fan before he came to northridge but now they lowkey hate him, someone who’s still a fan, fwb ft. one-sided crush, classmates, etc ! 

[carolyncaves]

Hey op, I was wondering if you could give me some advice? High school senior here and I have no idea what to do with my life. Is accounting really as painfully boring as it's reputed to be? I'm a perfectionist and a good student and I feel like that might be helpful, but I've also nearly fallen asleep many times in math class. (I'm more a science and humanities person.) Is accounting actually as tedious and unfulfilling as people say? Do you like your job? Do you have any career advice??

Oh, no, advice ...

I've been sitting on this because I wanted to do your ask justice, and then it ended up extremely long - I'm apparently constitutionally incapable of giving advice without giving all the advice, just to be thorough. I started with my impressions of the accounting field and why I went into it (in case any of that resonates with you either way) and made it all the way to a probably-too-abstract meditation/ramble on careers, work, and purpose. Since I'm just a dumb 27 year old who is not entirely successful (yet) in any area of my life, you should maybe (definitely) take everything below with a grain of salt. But here are some things I think I've learned:

I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life either. I went to an engineering high school, but decided it wasn't for me because I didn't really care about it and wasn't spending my spare time tinkering with robots like some of my classmates. I almost majored in physics, but switched to accounting at the last second because I decided I probably didn't want to spend my whole life in a basement fine-tuning lasers.

I went into accounting because I thought math was boring but I was good at it, and I figured accounting might straddle the math-type-brain with the people-stories-humanities things that were more interesting to me. This is somewhat true - financial accounting is not math (thank goodness), but someone who is good at one will probably be good at the other and it is quite satisfying the way balance sheets always balance. (You can get into more math-and-statistics-intensive applications, but base accounting is just adding and Microsoft Excel, which is unironically one of the greatest tools humankind has ever created. How you feel about that opinion might tell you a lot about whether it's the right field for you lol.)

'Accounting' is really (at least) three entirely different types of job:

‘Industry accounting’ is the accountants who work for a business and keep track of its numbers. They record everything, analyze the data, and organize it into reports called financial statements, which are then given to the CEO, the board of directors, the shareholders, etc. to tell them how the company is doing.

‘Public accounting’ (as in Certified Public Accountant) has two main subclasses:

Audit, where you get hired by businesses to independently examine their financial statements and provide some verification that the managers who prepared them aren't lying or mistaken.

Tax, where you do taxes for people and businesses.

(+1: If you're a tech-savvy person, there's a huge amount of potential for crossover into technology work - data science, financial software, etc, etc. Though IT work has its own delights and frustrations.)

All three flavors of accounting require not only technical accounting knowledge but also at least some degree of business acumen to be truly good at (you'll develop this over time; I barely have any, the partners at my firm are very astute), and any of them can can put you literally anywhere, because everyone in every industry and lots of individuals need an accountant. (There are cross-state licensing issues that can affect how literal 'anywhere' is, so if you want to work somewhere specific that's a good thing to research in advance when planning out your degree, but even these are for the most part eminently surmountable). So particularly on the public side of things, it's a field that can expose you to a lot of different people and situations, and that's interesting. I like getting a glimpse of someone's life when I prepare their tax return. (I think I prefer individual returns to business returns for this reason, among others.) And if you're someone who likes business, it is a fantastic field from which to study it and could position you well for a more generally-businessy position down the road. (I have frankly found that I ... do not, so much. So keep that in mind when considering the rest of this opinion piece.)

All three types of accounting are, by their very nature, repetitive, in the sense that they're cyclical - you do the journal entries and close the books on one month, or you do a hundred tax returns and get through tax season, and then you do it all over again. Accounting isn't a field that really makes or does things - it measures what other people are doing, over and over and over again. It's a keeping-the-lights-on-and-wheels-running kind of field. It matters, because all three of those functions above are important in the context of our current economic arrangement. But some people are going to be happy doing that and some people are not.

Public accounting also has pretty punishing work schedules during crunch times. I can attest to that for tax (my current field), and have heard it's at least partially true for audit. This can be a good thing in some ways (I happen to like it), because it means there are some relaxed times as well - but again, some people are going to like the up-and-down rhythm and some people are going to want something more steady. (If you find this one isn't for you, you can always leave public accounting after a year or two and go into industry - that's what many people's planned trajectories are from the get go.)

In all three corners it's a field about developing expertise. You're doing something complicated for people which they don't know how to do for themselves, and you do sometimes get to come up with crucial information and/or creative solutions to help them. And in the broad societal scopes of public policy and the health of the economy, people having that expertise - in tax and its ramifications, in business, in financial accounting, in principled and accurate auditing - is important.

In a world where most of us regrettably have to do something for money, accounting is a pretty okay thing to do, and it pays money.

Being in the workforce for a few years has made me come to imagine a lot of things are tedious in some ways and important and interesting in others. Our incredibly complex global civilization goes because different people become experts in the minute, tedious details of their own different things, and then they all work in their own corners of the huge, infinitely complex machine. Tinkering with robots and living in laser-filled-basements are not that dissimilar to reading discourse over the minutia of the United States tax code. (These are all examples from relatively technical/'professional' career areas, because I don't really have first-hand experience with anything else (yet) - but maybe someone will chime in on that front in the notes.)

The extremely good news, which I can't emphasize enough, is that you're going to have a lot of opportunities to pivot, or change direction, or try different things, to eventually find the thing that at worst you don't mind becoming something of an expert in, and at best you absolutely love. I've already had three extremely different jobs, all of which have been very informative in terms of what I Do and Do Not like. It's surprising how often that doesn't line up with what I expected when I was younger. You might of course have a different experience - the point is you have plenty of time to experiment and find out.

But if I don't LOVE my career, isn't that terrible? Time for a confession, or something: I've always been an achiever-type, and in my youthier youth I would've answered the above question 'yes' - but in my first few of years out of school, whenever anyone would ask me what my future plans were, my answer was always '... I don't know? Try to get promoted, I guess?' I was really leaning on the external validation of what a 'good career' was without running that past whether it was what I wanted to achieve with my life. And over time that had a noticeable effect on my wellbeing. You're right that perfectionism will help, no matter what you go into - but you should be careful to keep an eye on whether it's really mostly helping your boss, and whether it's doing it at your expense. Don't get me wrong, this will make you a fantastic and therefore valued (read: employed) employee. Just be wary of it getting out of hand. (You might find you need to practice figuring out how and when to prioritize yourself even if it's inconvenient for others. I'm still practicing that now.)

Anyway, after a lot of reflection, I began to refine my idea of my capital-P Purpose, and it has little to do with working in a shiny fancy office or having a successful-sounding job title next to a well-known employer's name or really anything to do with accounting. Those things were only superficially rewarding. I'm working on rearranging my life to abandon some of the more costly ones to make room for my Purpose as I've come to understand it, and my license keeps me in overpriced coffees and, like, a house. It means even an occasionally disastrous person like me is doing reasonably okay (so far).

Some people love careers like that, though. Some people love living in basements full of lasers. It's really so individual. For me, it became clearer when I connected the dots between the things I kept coming back to time and time again, even in my most difficult moments, even years or decades apart. For other people, it might be very different.

But at the moment, you may not have all the information you need yet to make determinations about Purpose. Why would you, you're a baby; heck, so am I. It might evolve over the whole course your life. My main advice for you would be to just try something, or several things - whatever seems most interesting, or most practical, or ideally both! - and see how it goes. Like I said above, that will give you experiences instead of guesses, which will help you know. And you really do have so much time to work with. The most important thing, the thing I would tell my younger self, is to make sure that every so often you pause and honestly look. How do I feel about what I'm doing? Does it feel good because I like it, or because other people like it? Am I actually interested in building on and using the things I'm learning? Do I have a plan for the future? Is there anything about it I want to change, or add, or that doesn't actually matter to me? (And perhaps "What would I be doing right now/want to be doing in five years if I didn't have to make money?", because that might give you hints to what you want your money-career - if it isn't the same thing as your Purpose - to give you room for.)

Did I mention I think it's very individual? I think it's very individual. I invite anyone to add their own numerous-cents to this post - alternate takes on the accounting field (do you love it passionately? please tell this person why), additional career or life advice, etc. I'm just one person who's walking my one narrow path through the world with its particular terrain. Everyone's is going to look different.

P.S. Ask a Manager is imo an indispensable resource for getting a job - resumes, cover letters, interviews. Literally it has gotten me all my jobs.

It also gives a lot of great advice about what to consider in an employer and potential red flags - and I can attest that the culture of the company you work for and the management skills and style of your supervisor(s) matter more than almost anything when it comes to your day-to-day happiness in a job. This is part personal fit, part objective competence. It's not the end of the world if you take a misstep here either - it's something you figure out, just like everything else. You can do almost anything for a year - and you are NOT COMPELLED to even stay that long if it's really not working out.

P.P.P.S - and this is way out there ... I was exceptionally good at both reading/English and math as a young person - and it’s interesting that when that’s true, the careers people throw at you are all STEM-related. It’s almost as if people are predisposed to thinking STEM fields are more important, and that smart people belong in them. I have come to feel strongly that isn’t the case.

A lot of people (at least in my western/US culture) feel the humanities are an afterthought, but when I think about it, I think there are and have always been two main sources of human suffering in the world: nature and its limitations (hunger, health and disease, weather and environment, etc.) and other humans (war, murder, racism/sexism/all oppression and hatred, conquering and imperialism, poverty/socioeconomic inequality, and also elements of the way societies are organized that affect hunger, and health and disease, and weather and the environment, and so on).

STEM work is hugely important to making improvements in the first category, and helps with the second (it gives us the internet and weapons to defend ourselves from evil people who want to destroy us, for example). But a lot of the fundamental root issues in that second category are in the sphere of culture and the humanities - law and politics, sure, but those are derived from history, sociology and psychology, literature, cultural studies, philosophy, ethics, education, journalism, literature and the arts and pop culture (which informs and is informed by all of the above). The world needs smart people in those fields as well as STEM and business.

STEM fields often offer more money, or more certain money. Business fields offer sometimes significantly more. That’s a practical element to consider. And if you like a STEM thing, or a business thing, and want to go into it, please do and do fabulous things with it. All I mean is that if you find yourself considering a career in a humanities field, don’t be dissuaded only because people seem to think you’re too smart for it and would be better off doing something else.

[alenajade]

❛ alexa demie, 19, cisfemale, she/her ❜ was that ALENA MONTANEZ i just saw hurrying across the quad? you’d think they would know what happens when a SOPHOMORE is late to class. then again, the FASHION major has been known to be pretty MANIPULATIVE. maybe being so VIVACIOUS helps keep them out of trouble. i heard that they are BISEXUAL and love DADDY KINK + SIZE DIFFERENCE

ayyye it’s G bringing ya’ll yet another lovable trash heap (i play Ezra too hi) ! figured I’d up my chances of being able to plot with as many people as possible if I had both a male & a female, plus I’ve been dying for a chance to use alexa as a fc so! alena is a brand new muse i’ve never played before & i’m super hype to develop her here for the first time ok so lemme just FINALLY get around to introducing this bitch real quick

OTHER KINKS: CHOKING, ORGASM CONTROL/DENIAL, BODY WORSHIP (REC), FORCE, PUNISHMENT + REWARD, ANAL, SPANKING, MARKING, BITING, HAIR PULLING,  DOMINANCE,  VOYEURISM,  CLOTHES ON, GROUP SEX, SEXUAL PAIN, ORDERS (REC)(GIV), BEING FILMED / PHOTOGRAPHED

alena jade montanez was born that bitch.

 was such a daddy’s girl up until age 6 when he left her, her mom, and her (at the time) 4, almost 5 year old little sister to pursue a new life with his mistress- after that, alena’s grandmother moved in with them, and her mom went through such a transformative stage that she had no choice but to pick herself up and make the decision to raise the strongest, most confident daughters she possibly could, because she never wanted a man to be able to break them the way the one she’d thought was her soulmate had broken her

and that’s exactly what she did 

alena grew up in a small town in pennsylvania; her mom had wanted to move after the divorce, but decided it best for alena not to uproot her when she was already accustomed to the life she had there. her mom made sure she was involved in absolutely everything she could possibly do so she wasn’t bored out of her mind, often driving her miles and miles to bigger cities for gymnastics meets and practices, cheerleading practice/competitions, dance practice/competitions, etc

thanks to child support from her dirtbag dad, who never tried to maintain a father/daughter relationship with her or her sister after she left, and both her mom and grandma essentially revolving their lives around caring for the girls, alena never really wanted for anything- in fact, materialistically speaking, she was spoiled rotten

every toy, every lavish birthday party, every cute little outfit, and as she got older every expensive new makeup release she just had to have, alena always got, and she rarely ever had to make a fuss or ask twice, meaning she was bred into someone who absolutely despises being told no or being told what to do

her mom eventually remarried (alena would’ve been around 8) a dude who alena just never connected with or considered any kind of father figure, but he was loaded, and out of that deal came her step sister around her same age who she loves VERY much (wc!!)

she was head cheerleader at her high school, she was also voted prom queen, but she never wanted to be one of those bitches who peaked in high school, 

so that’s why, even though she partied way 2 much and sucked way 2 much dick to actually be learning anything in hs, she got good grades and always aced her tests because she knew she wanted to be able to go to college and eventually move away- she chose noru bc it’s close to home so she can still visit her mom and her grandma, and ofc bc of its party school reputatuion

she’s a full on bratz doll personified okay she has a passion 4 fashion or whateva, she loves makeup and she’s loved making her own clothes from the time she learned to sew at just 11 years old, which is why she’s at northridge studying fashion- her main goal (is to blow up, and then act like she don’t know noboday) is to eventually get accepted for transfer to the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in los angeles and get out of PA altogether 

she hates PA because... well, she feels fucking haunted here. literally and figuratively

lemme explain: my girl sees ghosts- like either she was born with something wrong with her (CW: f u don’t wanna read abt this spooky stuff or don’t believe in the paranormal u can go w/ that & skip this whole part but) she sees ghosts, str8 up, bc it’s been this way all her life, as long as she can remember

the house she grew up in was crazy haunted and that means she saw a lot of creepy messed up shit happen growing up- but the rly fucked up part comes in how, even after her family moved out of their house and into a new place right before alena turned 16... the creepy haunting shit didn’t stop, it got worse, with family belongings going missing, cupboard doors and windows all being found open in the middle of the night, incessant footsteps, whisperings, and unexplainable banging sounds. 

instead of a new environment solving the haunting problem, it was like whatever energy had been in their previous home had somehow attached itself to her. alena started having horrific bouts of sleep paralysis literally every time she slept too deeply or for too long- this has continued into her early adulthood, and because of this she:

!!! literally, doesn’t sleep- like, gets as little sleep as humanly possible, as a person could possibly function on, and she does it with the help of her rampant caffeine addiction and (TW: drug use) stimulant drugs- you will never catch alena smoking pot or wax bc it will make her sleepy and she won’t feel safe

that also means she never spends the night with anyone because then they’ll know how fuckt up she really is, so she prefers to keep things surface-level with most people, putting on an individualized performance for anyone she is attracted enough to to pursue, but never letting it get any deeper than casual sex

loves and is so fiercely protective of all the women in her life!!! is more likely to be leery of or mistrusting with men, but ofc there’ll be exceptions

and YEA that’s p much what i have for her so far, like i said she’s brand new so i wanna do most of her development here in this group but i had to get something up !!

i’m working on a connections page for her but some stuff i’d love off the top off my head are !!! ofc her younger sister (would be not quite 2 years younger than alena, so freshman age/ just turned 18) and her step-sister (would be the same age as her, 19 going on 20), best friends / squad, (she’s a cheerleader but she’s not a captain or anything bc her focus is on fashion now that she’s @ uni), an ex bf/ gf / fling (or 12 ), fwb, enemies w/ benefits, frenemies, exes who hate each other but still fuck, a professor / administrator she fucks on the reg (bonus points if they’re older and/or married), anything ur lil heart desires ok hmu <3

[love-on-your-wrist]

Analyzing Social Climb (pt.1)

K, so after finally getting back home and having actual WIFI in here, i decided to watch social climb again in its entirety and express some of my thoughts and observations i guess? Anyways lets go

The video starts with a 10-Second long animation of the band´s logo, and directly moves over to the visuals of a fancy-looking house. Over it, there is a bit of text and a headline:

                           “the TELEFOUNDATION presents

                              THOUGHT REFORM

           &THE CORPORATE GUIDE TO SOCIAL RECONDITIONING”

Now, let´s try and analyse this :D

What is Telefoundation?

On the internet, i wasnt able to find any mentions of the word, let alone a definition of the word, so i assumed it was the name of a fictional firm in the iDKHOW universe  But, i was able to find a similar word, “early television foundation” and also a link to something else here: http://www.cftf.org.uk/ if you want to take a look at that. The first one tho, it is a museum “dedicated to the preservation of the technology from the early days of television.“, as directly quoted from their website.

Furthermore, the website says: “Our website's mission is to preserve and make available to the public the history of early television, from the mechanical systems of the 1920s through the introduction of color televsion in the 1950s.“

Aha, so that museum just showcases different TVs from around 1945, how´s that connected to social climb and idkhow? I dont have an idea, but we know that the mv for social climb is a brainwashing propaganda video from 1977, broadcasted over television.

What is Thought Reform?

thought reform is another word for brainwashing used by Robert Jay Lifton, one of the first phsychologists to study both brainwashing and mindcontrol. Lifton was a US-american phsychatrist and author in the 60s. 1970 he was accepted as a teacher at washington school of psychatry. Later, he released his books called “Home from the War: Vietnam Veterans. Neither Victims nor Executioners (1973), and The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide” (1986), of which the publishing years bring us near to the time in which the iDKHOW story takes place.

returning back to ´thought reform´, Lifton offered 8 steps/methods of manipulating minds. I have copied them off http://changingminds.org/techniques/conversion/lifton_thought_reform.htm  for anybody interested:

#1 Milieu control

All communication with outside world is limited, either being strictly filtered or completely cut off. Whether it is a monastery or a behind-closed-doors cult, isolation from the ideas, examples and distractions of the outside world turns the individuals attention to the only remaining form of stimulation, which is the ideology that is being inculcated in them.

This even works at the intrapersonal level, and individuals are discouraged from thinking incorrect thoughts, which may be termed evil, selfish, immoral and so on.

#2 Mystical manipulation

A part of the teaching is that the group has a higher purpose than others outside the group. This may be altruistic, such as saving the world or helping people in need. It may also be selfish, for example that group members will be saved when others outside the group will perish.

All things are then attributed and linked to this higher purpose. Coincidences (which actually may be deliberately engineered) are portrayed as symbolic events. Attention is given to the problems of out-group people and attributed to their not being in the group. Revelations are attributed to spiritual causes.

This association of events is used as evidence that the group truly is special and exclusive.

#3 Confession

Individuals are encouraged to confess past 'sins' (as defined by the group). This creates a tension between the person's actions and their stated belief that the action is bad, particularly if the statement is made publicly. The consistency principle thus leads the person to fully adopt the belief that the sin is bad and to distance themselves from repeating it.

Discussion of inner fears and anxieties, as well as confessing sins is exposing vulnerabilities and requires the person to place trust in the group and hence bond with them. When we bond with others, they become our friends, and we will tend to adopt their beliefs more easily.

This effect may be exaggerated with intense sessions where deep thoughts and feelings are regularly surfaced. This also has the effect of exhausting people, making them more open to suggestion.

#4 Self-sanctification through purity

Individuals are encouraged to constantly push towards an ultimate and unattainable perfection. This may be rewarded with promotion within the group to higher levels, for example by giving them a new status name (acolyte, traveller, master, etc.) or by giving them new authority within the group.

The unattainability of the ultimate perfection is used to induce guilt and show the person to be sinful and hence sustain the requirement for confession and obedience to those higher than them in the groups order of perfection.

Not being perfect may be seen as deserving of punishment, which may be meted out by the higher members of the group or even by the person themselves, who are taught that such atonement and self-flagellation is a valuable method of reaching higher levels of perfection.

#5 Aura of sacred science

The beliefs and regulations of the group are framed as perfect, absolute and non-negotiable. The dogma of the group is presented as scientifically correct or otherwise unquestionable.

Rules and processes are therefore to be followed without question, and any transgression is a sin and hence requires atonement or other forms of punishment, as does consideration of any alternative viewpoints.

#6 Loaded language

New words and language are created to explain the new and profound meanings that have been discovered. Existing words are also hijacked and given new and different meaning.

This is particularly effective due to the way we think a lot though language. The consequence of this is that the person who controls the meaning of words also controls how people think. In this way, black-and-white thinking is embedded in the language, such that wrong-doers are framed as terrible and evil, whilst those who do right (as defined by the group) are perfect and marvellous.

The meaning of words are kept hidden both from the outside world, giving a sense of exclusivity. The meaning of special words may also be revealed in careful illuminatory rituals, where people who are being elevated within the order are given the power of understanding this new language.

#7 Doctrine over person

The importance of the group is elevated over the importance of the individual in all ways. Along with this comes the importance of the the group's ideas and rules over personal beliefs and values.

Past experiences, beliefs and values can all thus be cast as being invalid if they conflict with group rules. In fact this conflict can be used as a reason for confession of sins. Likewise, the beliefs, values and words of those outside the group are equally invalid.

#8 Dispensed existence

There is a very sharp line between the group and the outside world. Insiders are to be saved and elevated, whilst outsiders are doomed to failure and loss (which may be eternal).

Who is an outsider or insider is chosen by the group. Thus, any person within the group may be damned at any time. There are no rights of membership except, perhaps, for the leader.

People who leave the group are singled out as particularly evil, weak, lost or otherwise to be despised or pitied. Rather than being ignored or hidden, they are used as examples of how anyone who leaves will be looked down upon and publicly denigrated.

People thus have a constant fear of being cast out, and consequently work hard to be accepted and not be ejected from the group. Outsiders who try to persuade the person to leave are doubly feared.

Dispensation also goes into all aspects of living within the group. Any and all aspects of existence within the group is subject to scrutiny and control. There is no privacy and, ultimately, no free will.

Most of these methods are intigrated into the social climb music video, showing an elite, almost cult-like group of people most liekly cut off of the rest of the world, etc. i think #3 could also be a reference to the song “modern day cain” by iDKHOW, of which (for example) the pre-chorus is:

“So now you've done a little wrong And you need to be forgiven By the Vicar and the company you keep And then you conjure up a fiction To get the pretty girl to listen“

and also the main chorus that is:

“This is the sin That I will confess to release myself From consequence And everyone can tell“

in which method #3: Confession is mentioned directly. (Oh boi, i think we gettin to the point now, but after 2 hours just straight out researching and writing the first two explanations/theories i kinda dont know how to formulate the next section. i´ll take a short break.)

What is Social Reconditioning?

As i did my research on the internet, the term “social conditioning” seemed to have appeared way more often in results, and doesn´t seem to differ that heavily from social reconditioning, so let me explain it first. Social conditioning is  the definition of training someone to behave in a manner that is generally approved from society and/or peer groups in society. “Manifestations of social conditioning are vast, but they are generally categorized as social patterns and social structures including nationalism, education, employment, entertainment, popular culture, religion, spirituality and family life. The social structure in which an individual finds him or herself influences and can determine their social actions and responses. “ (Wikipedia)

So now that we´ve got that figured out, what would Social Reconditioning mean? I myself would explain it as having to adjust from one specific social pattern/structure to another. an example i provide is a soldier coming back home from the war and having to adjust into the general city-life from the strict life in an army. The “corporate guide to social reconditioning” is most likely to be a book in the iDKHOW universe abouthow to fit into a generally acepted form of society again. But what other social structure, or rather group of people is it, that one has to recover from?

 This is what i think is worth mentioning in this wikipedia article:

“Propaganda.

Edward Bernays, Freud's nephew and the father of propaganda and public relations, used many of his uncle's theories in order to create new methods in marketing. In Propaganda, he published that "If we understand the mechanism and motives of the group mind, it is now possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without them knowing it".[4] He used the herd theory in order to create public relations, thus conditioning the public to need particular goods from certain manufacturers. In the same publication he stated, "A single factory, potentially capable of supplying a whole continent with its particular product, cannot afford to wait until the public asks for its product; it must maintain constant touch, through advertising and propaganda, with the vast public in order to assure itself the continuous demand which alone will make its costly plant profitable."[4] His theories and applications in social conditioning continue throughout his work. “

In Summary/Conclusion

Social climb is a propaganda/brainwash video

It is from the late 70s (1977 to be exact)

The band iDKHOW is in it, joined by Whiteshadow (the white skull person with the mask), possibly meaning that Bamd has time-traveled into 1977

Social climb is very likely to be referencing Modern Day Cain, and probably MDCs music video

The propagande video might be advertising or warning the public about a cult-like group of elite people

Which are a Illuminati-like organization, if not Illuminati itself

speaking from scenes like the one at 1:19, where the Pattern on the table undoubtedly is a pyramid with an eye in the middle, having the letter i,d,k,h,b,t,f and m in each rectangle in the first row

if i get any more stuff facts about the actual video into this i might as well make a second part out of this

[smitheeblog]

Dealing with Historical Injustice, colon, Reparations

I

I was hate-consuming some right wing grift the other day, as I sometimes tend to do, and this headass was making the following, paraphrased, argument:

If you continue asking someone in the black lives matter movement about their position, and you just keep asking “why?” to each of their answers, sooner or later you will end up discussing slavery.

The writer probably thought this was a home run argument. He had wound up and windmill dunked on the entire black lives matter movement. Theoretically, if you trace America’s racial inequity back to its roots, it would lead back to slavery, right? And, so the argument goes, all those people are dead, so spending resources to shrink the racial gaps (affirmative action, economic reparations, etc.) would require people who never themselves owned slaves to pay to assuage the legacy of slavery. Checkmate. Pack it up and go home.

           I think this argument is really stupid, mostly because it’s probably some bad faith attempt to use fanciful rhetoric to decry progress. But I also think it’s stupid in an interesting way that gets at an important question of how to deal with injustices where everybody involved is dead.

First, on a clarification note, it’s important to note that the large racial inequities that exist don’t stem unilaterally from slavery. Recently, an economic consensus has been forming that most of the gaps in wealth and income in present day America come from FHA housing discrimination (aka redlining) in the mid-1900s, which systematically denied black Americans the ability to live and work in high-income areas, which has led to the gross levels of segregation and unemployment that exist in black communities today. 

           But even if we rephrase the argument to “the major inequities that haunt black America are the result of manynefarious actions of long dead power brokers,” we still have a problem. Are we really going to say that groups have no way of seeking recompense if the perpetrators of their oppression are dead?

I’m going to try to progress through examples of how the dead can repay debts. For clarity, the person who did the bad thing is called Bad Guy and the victim is called Victim

Bad guy hurts victim, then dies.

In civil law, if someone wrongs you, and then dies, you’re allowed to sue their estate. But this nuzzles our intuition well, I think. If I fuck with somebody’s life, I should pay for it. So, when I die, if I still have money lying around, it would make sense they should get that money, because it’s my money.

But what if the bad guy is a government?

When we’re talking about governments, it feels a bit weirder than just suing the estate, since the bad guy is not the person paying it, the guy paying just happens to be operating under the same banner as the bad guy. But on the other hand, if the government passed a law that took all of your money away, and then later you tried to sue the government for this law, it would seem pretty fucked up if they responded with “all the senators who voted for that law are dead, and that law has since been repealed, therefore you get nothing.”

Companies are kind of like governments.

           Another large institution, corporations, seem to operate in the same way individual people do. If a company spilled oil all over my farm in 1968, a court would still likely hold that company responsible for paying me back, even if the CEO who oversaw the oil spill had been decomposing for decades.

(companies spend a lot of money apologizing)

But what if the victim is also dead

So far, I’ve talked about the easy ones. If a person does something bad to me, then dies, I get paid. If an institution does something bad to me, then everybody in the institution dies, I can seek justice. Now here’s the tricky one. What if an institution does something bad to me, they die, I die, but the damage inflicted to me spills over onto my descendants? Do we allow themto seek reparations?

           My short answer: we have to.

Take the case of Israeli settlements in the West Bank. 

Make a long story short: Israel controls a lot of land, Palestinians control most of the West Bank, the UN explicitely tells Israel not to expand to the WB. Israel offers massive economic incentives for settlers to move to the WB, paves roads, builds cell towers, etc.  Most nations in the world have condemned this action, and many agree that Israel, in some way, should give the land back to the Palestinians, even if the people who offered those incentives are dead, as are the people whose land was taken.

The moral framework that says that Israel should give the land back is treating the Israeli government as one collective, and the Palestinian people as another collective. But these collectives are intergenerational. So, under this system, inheriting problems from past injustices against your ancestors makes you eligible for recompense.

I think this same principal should apply to America’s racial issue. It probably also applies to Australia’s treatment of aboriginal peoples and other historical injustices in other countries, but I don’t feel informed enough on those to say concretely.  

Someone might say that this is a broad-brush stroke. That is true. It willpunish people who would never support injustice and whose ancestors never perpetrated it. It will also reward some people who maybe don’t need reparations. Seemingly, Lebron James does not seem like he is in dire need of government-assistance, nor does he seem to be economically suffering from the legacy of slavery.

First, it’s important to note that Lebron James, and others in his situation, have achieved in spiteof the statistical improbability of them doing so.

But second, this misallocation of resources seems like a small price to pay to ensure that history’s bad guys don’t just get away with it if everybody dies before their actions are reversed.

II

I think it’s probably more deserving of a separate post because this one’s getting long but I think this outlines a good claim for reparations for African Americans in America.

I think I’m especially in favor of a policy to reverse the effects of housing discrimination. As part of the legacy of redlining and housing discrimination, Black Americans are 45% less likely to own homes, and as a result, find it very difficult to accrue generational wealth. This has contributed to the fact that segregation of schools, unemployment, access to housing, and wage levels are the same for black Americans now as they were in 1963, and that the average black family has a net worth 6x lower than the average white family.

One promising way to fix this problem is to offer mortgage assistance to black families, in the form of subsidies or low-interest loans to increase black home ownership rates. One study found that equalizing homeownership rates for black and white families would cause average Black wealth to grow by $32,113 and the wealth gap between Black and white households to shrink by 31 percent.

[wavingthroughawxndow-blog]

1: it’s the apocalypse. you lay next to the person you trust and love most, and start talking. you know your time is limited. what is the one thing you want them to know before you two die?           

This is so hard! This is so hard, because I’m young, I think, and I still live within such an invincible mindset so I’m admittedly biased. Also, at this point in my life, the person I trust and love the most is probably still my mom, not gonna lie, and she literally knows all there is to know about me. She knows me better than I know myself! I think I would just tell her that I love her and had the best time being her son. 

2: you are faced with an almighty spirit. it tells you that you must choose two emotions\feelings - one of them you will never feel again, and the other becomes your most dominant. which two are those?        

  I would never feel ...hmmm.. sadness again, and I know the expectation would be to feel mostly joy but I think I would want to feel mostly understanding, even in situations where it’s hard. 

3: what is the one thing you want your best friend to never do? why? how will you react if they do it?

          Marry a gentile man who won’t be open to Judaism. I’ll be like, “Girl,” and give her the look and the wedding will be off, so we’re all good. 

4: do you have a favorite tv show? why is it your favorite? what is the reason you started watching it, and what is the reason you continued          

  I keep up with a few things. Orange is the new Black is probably my favorite. 

5: do you have a favorite musical instrument? if yes, why exactly is it your favorite? can you play it/would you ever?           

Probably piano because I know how to play that. But I think that all of the instruments are interesting and unique and beautiful and create wonderful sounds with the right help!

6: who is your all-time favorite character? why exactly? do you relate to them, and how?            

          That’s too hard to answer, because I love so many characters! But maybe Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz which I definitely watched every day after school as a kid. I want(ed) to be Judy Garland. 

7: is there anything you believe in? what is it? why do you believe in it? can you tell us something that explains this belief?

I’ve talked a lot publicly about the fact that I’m Jewish and I believe in G-d. The reason I am so unapologetically on board with Judaism is because I was raised into those beliefs and I have the most wonderful and supportive family, and because the way the religion has stayed fundamentally the same but remains a coherent belief system in our changing, hectic times is beautiful to me. It just all makes sense to me, and is what I’ve always known. Judaism is really a religion based more on actions than beliefs (practices, traditions, etc) but one belief within the Jewish faith is that goodness is rewarded and wickedness is punished and I have never met a fellow Jew that I got bad vibes from, like, ever! I love the sense of community and kinship religion can create even among strangers and I think it gives life a lot of much needed structure! 

8: you are locked in a room until the day you die, and have a choice to spend this time with one person. will you choose someone? if yes, who is it? why?

That’s too hard!!! Probably my best friend and platonic soulmate, Beanie. We’d find a way to make it fun and we would have a duet partner so that’s all we’d really need!! 

9: what is the book that got you into reading, if there even is one? what was so special about it? when did you read it?

Honestly, I LOVE The Harry Potter series. They were just becoming a huge deal when I was a little kid, and I was so obsessed with them. I love the way so much careful attention was put on detail and continuity and how intricately woven everything about the world was. It absolutely transported me to another realm. 

10: what is the song i have to listen to so i could know you better?

You would need a whole playlist, I think. Like, humans are so complex. 

11: do you prefer being outside when its sunny or when its dark?

Sunny! I love sunny weather! I love the way it illuminates people so flattering-like like there is nothing better than natural light! Also it’s warm and nie. As long as it’s not too warm. 

12: do you like the rain? why? do you prefer storms or light dripping?

I think rain is so nice. I like rain because it can often confine you to bed... with hot cocoa and another person. Rain cuddles are everything. 

13: hot chocolate with cinnamon, marshmellows, both or none?

Good timing! Neither. Whipped cream is the superior option, clearly. And chocolate sprinkles on top of that. Perfection!

14: do you like tea? why? if yes, what is your favorite kind?

I’m a musical theatre kid, did you even have to ask? I LOVE tea. I like experimenting with different combinations. I like hibiscus tea a lot. I like a combination of hibiscus, peppermint, and oat straw and also a combination of lemon balm, peppermint, and nettle leaf. I also just like peppermint! Or chai! I love tea. I’m a fiend. 

15: do you enjoy coffee? if yes, do you drink it for the taste or for the caffeine?

Yes! And I love it on days where I haven’t slept enough, or if I’m hungover or something to give me the extra push. But mostly for the caffeine. Although it’s alright with a LOOOT of sugar and bad stuff in it! 

16: what is your perfect playlist for studying? where is the perfect place to listen to it?

I haven’t had to study in a while! Gil Faizon and George St. Geegland would like you all to know I’m a college dropout, after all. But I would kind of always just put iTunes on shuffle when I had to study and I’d wind up with a bunch of show tunes and Beyonce. 

17: what is your favorite color? why? what is your least favorite shade of this color?

I like different colors for different things. Like, I would have a different favorite color if I was buying a shirt than if I was buying something for my kitchen. I think there’s a time and place for all of them!

18: think of a person you love. now describe them, using only stuff that only you would describe them with. (for example - my person would be described by reading a new book while there’s a storm outside.)

Hmmm! I don’t want to be obvious here... Comforting hand holds. TMNT Fruit snacks.  The best platonic snuggles ever. Chemistry that can’t be confined to the stage, or life. <3

19: what is the song you feel like you HAVE to know to play?

I think that depends on what you play, what you feel like inside, and where you’re playing it! 

  20: do you like writing? do you prefer to write on a computer or in a notebook?

I don’t mind writing, but it’s not, like, my strongest passion or anything. People who feel compelled to write fascinate me, though. 

21: shuffle your playlist until you get to a song you will never skip. what is this song? why do you never skip it? do you recommend it?

The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera. IT’S A REALLY GOOD FREAKING SONG, OKAY? Yes, I suggest it. 

22: do you like stargazing? why?

Yes! I think the stars are beautiful. But I will say, I do prefer a sunset to stargazing. 

23: what is your favorite hour of the day?

I think they’re all pretty swell. I’m alive for them and generally healthy. 

24: what is your harry potter house? did you get sorted on pottermore or do you think it represents you better?

As much as I would have liked to be able to say Gryffindor, I was put in Hufflepuff which I do agree with, truthfully. But I would like to embody more Gryffindor attributes. 

25: what is your patronus?

A ginger cat!

26: do you want to write a book? if yes, did you start already?

I might try someday.But right now I’m focusing on the experiences, rather than sharing them. 

27: what is your favorite smell?

Probably anything really good baking. It could be sweet or savory or anything. Just good kitchen smells. 

28: picture yourself at ease. now describe what exactly did you picture - with who you are? where? what exactly put you at ease?

I’m in a theatre and with a number of friends. I’m perusing the playbill and getting excited for the show and suddenly the lights around the theatre are dimmer and the stage is illuminated and I’m in another world altogether. Can you blame me for being transported to another world being a common theme in my answers? I mean, considering our current political situation. Just saying.

29: you have the option to forget one book/series completely and reread/rewatch it from the start. what book/series is it?

I don’t know if I would want this with anything. I really like rewatching things and noticing all new things and comparing to the first time, really. Then trying to figure out what that all says about me!

30: what do you love most about humanity?

I think it’s hard to make blanket statements about humanity because of all the diversity within the population - religious, racial, etc. But maybe that is my favorite thing about humanity. All the diversity, and yet there are things that bring us all together. Like beautiful art, or shared experiences, or the desire to be affectionate. What a great thing. And that!!! Is a good note to end on!