#pulley knows how to make me cry and she went for the kill

[justpan]

Title: Unwilling Bride

Summary: At last it is time for the battle between Pirates and Lost Boys.

Pairing: Peter x Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31

Everything was on track.

The camp was moved, the fences were ready; even better, Tootles found a way to put them all on a single pulley system.

One rope cut and all the fences would drop down in sync, that meant that the archers wouldn’t need to waste arrows trying to trigger them each individually.

Peter made good on his word, he was watching the pirates, constantly. You wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t sleeping at all.

All he seemed to do was sit up in the tallest trees he could find, send his shadow to locate the enemy, and report his findings to Felix who was patrolling the new camp.

‘Any news?’ you asked as Felix approached you.

‘They are less than a day away from the battle ground.’

‘Finally, guess we’d better get our asses in gear, can’t be late for our own party.’ you smiled excitedly.

‘BOYS!!! GET READY, THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START!!!’ Pan yelled as he marched into the camp.

His back was straight and he had a glint in his eye, the smile on his face was shark like and dangerous.

Like the smile you saw the first day you met him, it was as if he was on top of the world.

‘You heard me didn’t you? Get to the battle ground, or you’ll miss all the fun!’ he shouted.

The boys cheered nice and loud, and almost instantly the camp was hectic.

Everyone was running around grabbing their weapons, already laced with dreamshade.

‘You ready squirrel?’ Rufio asked.

‘As ready as I can be, little bird.’ you smiled.

‘I bet I can take down more pirates than you.’ he grinned.

‘Oh, yeah? What’s the wager?’

‘How about...if I win we try to take things further.’ Rufio suggested.

Your breath got caught in your throat, you hadn’t expected that to be on his mind right before you ran into battle.

‘And if I win?’

‘Then...we’ll do whatever you want.’

‘And if I want to take things further...what then?’ you asked, a small smile pulling at your lip.

‘Then I guess it’s a win win for us.’

Well, it looked like you were both on the same page, you both wanted to. There was a battle hours away, and by the time you got back to your room the two of them would be bloody and exhausted.

You couldn’t think of a more perfect way to lose your virginity.

‘A win win.’ you smiled.

‘Yeah?’ Rufio asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

‘Yes, really, I’m still gonna take out more geezers than you.’ you grinned.

‘We’ll see.’

‘Hey! Be cute later, we gotta get moving and fast.’ Felix said, dragging the two of you along with the others.

You quickly shook away your feelings and started getting mentally ready for the battle; you couldn’t afford any distractions. Because this wasn’t training, it was a real battle with an opponent that would kill you if you gave them the chance.

Everything needed to go right, the fences, the arrows, the fight. Most important was the feeling.

This fight needed to feel like a guaranteed win; every Lost Boy needed to believe they would live through this fight and every pirate they let live needed to feel like it was a mistake to challenge The Lost Boys.

Once you all arrived everyone got in position, you saw Rufio taking his place with the clubs, Felix with the clubs.

Pan was standing in the middle of the clearing, watching over everything.

You walked over to him, to go over everything one last time.

‘How long?’

‘They should be here in less than an hour.’ he replied.

‘Their numbers?’

‘Less than fifty.’

‘Good, we got the mass and the skills...but I feel like something is wrong.’ you said to yourself.

‘Whatever it is we have no time to dwell on it, get down.’ Pan said.

You nodded and used your magic to put a door into the hollow tree behind Pan, you stood there and charmed the door to close.

In the dark you made sure you still had enough room for your arms to move the way you needed to work your magic.

With that done you put up a spell on the bark in front of you so you could see the clearing.

It looked like everyone was in place, now it was just a matter of time.

You watched in anticipation as the quiet settled over the camp, all you heard was your own breathing.

At last you could hear a rustle from the trees, and watched as the pirates entered the clearing.

‘I take it you are not here to deliver a box of cakes.’ Pan said smugly.

‘No I’m not.’ the one you knew to be Captain Hook said in false politeness.

‘Then why are you and your friends here? Did you want to play a game?’

‘No games this time Pan.’

‘There’s always a game, and this one is called...Pirates and Hunters. You can be the pirates.’ Pan grinned before he whistled.

The arrow zipped through the air and like magic the fences dropped down and closed in the clearing.

Immediately the clubs and swords jumped out of the trees.

‘Let’s play!’ Pan yelled.

You watched the pirates pull out their swords and listened to their war cry as the much anticipated battle finally began.

All you wanted was to be in the middle of it, but you had to keep your eyes sharp, that was your job; make sure none of your own were killed in the scuffle.

So you watched every pirate and followed every arrow to make sure only pirates were hit by them.

At the left you saw Tootles fighting with one man while another was behind, his sword ready to stab the boy in the back so you shot out your hand and used your magic to yank the pirate all the way back to your tree.

His back hit the bark with a loud crack that came from either his skull or his spine cracking, either way he was certainly not getting up ever again.

Without taking a moment to think of the first man you’ve ever killed you got back to following the battle.

A few arrows were missing targets and planting themselves in trees and in the dirt, whenever you were sure no boys were in immediate danger you would take up the arrows and have them hit any pirates that were near it.

It seemed as if everything was going perfectly, only old fat bodies were on the ground and at least six were dropped by the fences.

You looked to your right and saw Rufio, he was fighting two pirates, moving so swiftly it looked almost graceful. He kicked one down then spun to bring his club down on the other and while he did that you dragged the other and slammed his head on one of the roots of your tree.

All of a sudden you heard a loud crash and the camp went silent.

One of the fences was blown to shreds, you could see a canon where the door once was and saw the last person you ever expected to see on a battlefield.

Wendy.

She was there with her hands tied in a way that kept them over her ears and covering her eyes.

A fat man with a red cap was beside her, with a sword to her throat.

‘Smee, good form.’ Hook said happily.

You looked to Pan and saw he was standing across from the captain, their swords still touching from when they had been battling.

‘Now...how about a new game? I call it Hostage.’

Pan was furious, but if he knew how to do anything it was how to compose himself.

‘That’s cheating.’

‘Pirates aren’t known for following rules. Now how about this we’ll give you your little girl, in exchange you grant us passage off this damned island.’ the pirate smiled.

The fat man in the red hat handed the crying girl to his captain who placed his hook to her throat.

‘If I don’t like the game?’

‘Then I’ll rip this girl’s heart out, in the bloody way. From my understanding she is rather important to you.’

‘It so happens she is.’

‘Take the deal.’ the one handed pirate offered.

‘Deal, there will be a portal just for you in the middle of the sea, but know that I will never open another portal for you again. You will be in the ground feeding the maggots in some boring realm before you ever see the alligator you want.’

‘Oh I will find him, now call off your dogs.’

You looked to Pan, looking for anything, any sign that he had a plan. A sure way to get Wendy away from the pirates and still win this battle.

There was nothing, no knowing smirk or calculating look in his eyes, he just looked furious. Angrier than you have ever seen him before, considering that at one point he had chased you through the woods that said something.

‘Game’s over boys, looks like pirates don’t play fair...bad form.’ he said.

One by one all the boys threw down their weapons and the archers stepped out from their hiding spots, but you stayed put.

You looked over, when you saw something red moving behind the canon that was still smoking behind the fairy tail captain.

Rufio.

He had his club raised high and eyes set on Hook’s head, in an instant you understood his plan, kill the pirate so Pan could get Wendy and we could get back to killing these old geezers.

But unfortunately you weren’t the only one who saw him.

Hook’s namesake was always polished, not for the sake of looks, but to see the reflections of things behind him. It was impossible to not notice such a loudly dressed lad.

Swift as wind he withdrew his hook from Wendy’s neck and before you could even scream in terror he had buried his hook in Rufio’s chest.

‘NO!’ you yelled.

The pirate removed his hook and let Rufio’s body drop to the ground.

You ran through the door of your tree and rushed to your boyfriend’s side, there was so much blood covering his chest you couldn’t see where the wound actually was.

‘No, no it’s OK. I can fix it.’ you said with shaking breath.

You tried to use your magic to heal him, but it wouldn’t work. Your hands were too unsteady and you couldn’t focus on how the body was meant to connect.

‘It’s...ok...Love y-you....’ Rufio choked out before his eyes lost focus and his body went limp.

‘No…’ you sobbed, you placed your forehead to his and tried to force him to be ok, or maybe to make yourself wake up.

Whatever you were trying to do didn’t matter because it didn’t work.

Felix was suddenly by your side, his eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying.

He placed his hand on your shoulder and kneeled down with you over Rufio.

You didn’t notice it, but the camp had gone silent.

All these centuries of running wild on this island and killing any intruders and this was the first time they had ever lost one of their own.

‘No one else try anything, let me and my men go Pan.’ Hook said, removing the blindfold from Wendy's eyes and hands.

‘Leave the girl, and know that if I ever see you again, on this island or in any realm at all you will be as dead as that brother of yours.’ Pan spat out.

With tears in your eyes you watched the pirates retreat through the woods, a part of you wanted to burn the whole island down but you couldn’t.

Magic required a good amount of control, and you had never felt more unstable in your life.

You couldn’t stop the sobs that were spilling out of you or make your body stop shaking; there was only one thing in your mind.

Rufio was dead.

Your boyfriend had just died in your arms and there was nothing you could do about it no matter how strong your magic was.

Magic can do a lot but not that; dead is dead and it’s forever permanent.

‘(Y/N).’ Peter said solemnly.

‘I couldn’t save him, I saw him making his move and I didn’t stop him.’ you said around the lump in your throat.

‘We all saw him, and we all thought he could do it, it isn’t your fault.’ he said.

All at once it clicked in your head, like the last piece of a puzzle a thought formed in your mind.

Wendy.

‘You!’ you all but growled as you stood up and tackled the only other girl on the island to the ground.

‘You got him killed!’ you screamed in her tear streaked face as you wrapped your hands around her throat.

With all your strength you tried to crush her windpipe; if it was the last thing you did you were going to make her suffer for what she did.

‘(Y/N)!’ Peter yelled as suddenly you were yanked back, partially pulling Wendy with you, but eventually you lost your grip.

With a grunt and a thud that probably sounded worse than it actually felt you hit the ground.

‘I-I’m sorry!’ Wendy coughed, looking as pitiful and as helpless as the insect she was.

‘You will be, I’ll make you sorry!’ you spat as you struggled against the magic weight that was holding your body down.

‘Calm down.’ Peter said, his voice calm and clear as he stood over you.

‘Fuck calm! I want her dead!’

‘So do I.’ Felix said from beside Rufio’s body.

Felix closed his friend's eyes and looked up at his leader.

‘She betrayed us...Rufio is dead because her. She has been prancing through camp being as useless as a leech in dress and none of us said anything to you, but this.’ Felix said, standing up and pointing the body in front of him.

‘We can’t ignore this; and I won’t forgive it.’

More boys spoke in their agreement and soon they were all but spitting at the girl, the sight at one point would have disgusted you, but right now you just want to get up.

‘Quiet!’ Pan yelled, his voice strong and loud.

‘I know...the girl deserves to die, she deserves to die bloody. She is useless and no one likes her, not even me despite what I know you all think; but I still need her. We all do if we want to win the real game.’

The real game.

His master plan, the one he hadn’t even disclosed to you completely, all you knew was the goal, he needed Bae’s child; to get him he needed the Darling boys, and to keep them in line he needed Wendy.

Rufio was dead, his killers were on their way to freedom and all Peter, no not Peter, Pan cared about was his goal.

‘I hate you.’ you said, not even realizing you had said it.

You probably wouldn’t have even noticed your own voice if silence hadn’t become so heavy, as heavy as the weight that was no longer pinning you down.

Slowly you pulled yourself up and you looked at Peter, or Pan or whoever the hell the boy demon really was.

‘Rufio...he fought for you, he killed for you, and because of that stupid daffodil in a dress he died for you. You are so selfish and self concerned that you won’t even avenge him, won’t let me avenge him! He deserves that much!’ you cried.

‘(Y/N) I know right now it feels raw but-’

‘Not just now! I will never forgive this!’ you snapped.

You looked from him to Wendy and had to refrain from attacking her a second time.

‘Hide her, don’t ever let me see her face because if I do I will kill her...the same goes for you Pan.’

‘What are you saying?’ Peter asked, still masking his emotions in that way that not even you could see through it.

‘I’m saying that I hate you Peter Pan and if I ever see you again I will put you in the fucking ground...you and your little daffodil.’ you said.

Your eyes moved to the boys, the ones you had been laughing and training with for what must have been nearly a century now.

‘Only love for you all, if any of you ever find me I won’t be sore to see you; and if you’re following orders to find me I’ll fight you fair. Keep each other safe...since we can see vengeance is only priority in the right circumstance.’

You looked down at Rufio and again your vision was obstructed by tears.

‘Bury him by my tree, Felix.’

‘I will.’ your best friend without any hesitation

With that done you felt like you had said all you could say, so you turned away from all of them,

From Rufio’s body, your ex Peter Pan, the girl who’d gotten your boyfriend killed and all your friends too.

You look out at the woods and spare no time to think of all the dangers that hid behind the trees as you walked away from what was once your home.

[mylovehes]

Bad Call

Masterlist

Summary: Reader doesn’t wait for backup and gets kidnapped and tortured.

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! Any feedback is also appreciated!

Pairing: Spencer x Reader, mentions of the team

Angst with a little fluff (warning mentions of torture and abuse)

I knew it was a bad call. I knew I should have called and waited for backup before chasing the unsub into a big abandoned building. However, everyone makes bad judgment calls eventually in this job. I couldn’t let this guy get away and kill more women just because I was waiting for help. I thought I could take him on my own. I mean I had my gun with me. Unfortunately the universe wasn’t on my side and moments after creeping into the abandoned warehouse after the killer I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head as I hit the ground, gun sliding across the floor as my vision went black.

I woke up in a log cabin house with hands and feet chained to the floor allowing little access to move. I tried pulling on the chains with no luck. Soon after waking up I heard heavy foot steps coming down the stairs to my left. 

“Look who’s awake,” the unsub named Larry Peterson said smirking down at me. He is currently wanted for the murder of 15 women and as fate would have it I fit his victimology to a T. I glared up at the man from where I was sitting on the floor. “I think it’s time to get the party started. What do you think? I hope your friends like movies.” He grabbed a hold of the chains attached to my wrists. As he pulled I noticed they were attached to a pulley that hoisted my body off the ground to where my feet were barely touching the ground now.

“What are you talking about,” I said struggling against the cuffs that were now digging into my skin. He placed a laptop and video camera up directly in front of me. I noticed the red light turn on realizing he was sending a live feed to the BAU. At least this way Garcia can try to trace it back to my location and everyone will know for sure what happened to me. However, I didn’t want them to have to witness what was about to happen, especially not Spencer. He’s been through so much, he doesn’t need to possibly witness another girlfriend being murdered at the hands of an unsub. 

“Say hello to the BAU Y/N,” he said said grabbing my face and aiming it at the camera so they could clearly tell it was me. “Now normally I don’t like an audience,” Larry said while picking up a sharp knife, “but I think the an FBI agent warrants an exception.” He slid the knife across my skin as I groaned in pain trying not to give him what he wanted which were my screams.

-

Meanwhile at the BAU everyone was frantically trying to figure out where Peterson would have possibly taken Y/N. Garcia was unable to locate where the feed was coming from and everyone else was at a complete loss. The furthest they got was narrowing down that she was in a cabin isolated in the forest. Unfortunately for the team there were hundreds of cabins in the woods and it would be impossible to try every single one.

Spencer was slowly losing his mind mad at himself for not going with her to check out the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. He was the first to notice his girlfriend was missing, everyone quickly rushing to her last known whereabouts and finding nothing but blood and a note from the unsub saying he had Y/N in his possession.

No matter how hard everyone tried they could not get Spencer away from the computer screen that displayed Y/N being beaten and tortured. Spencer felt sick listening to her screams of agony but he couldn't bring himself to walk away in fear he'd miss even the smallest clue. If she had given him a clue so far, he had not caught it. 

-

My whole body was on fire. I had been cut, hit, and tased repeatedly for what felt like hours upon hours which in reality was only one hour since he began the torture. I didn’t have the strength to fight back and there was no way I was getting out of these chains without help so I figured the only thing I could do that might help my team catch Peterson was to get him talking.

“Wow mommy really did a number on you huh?” I said spitting blood out of my mouth towards him. 

“What did you just say to me?” He said stepping closer to me threatening me with his glare. 

“What are you deaf? I said, your mommy really did a number on you didn't she? I mean you obviously enjoy hurting women for a reason,” I said hoping to strike some kind of nerve and get him to slip up. 

“Shut the hell up!” He screamed stepping away from me.

“Oh struck a nerve have I? Let me guess. She used to abuse you didn't she, physically and mentally 24/7? I bet you felt real powerless.”

“I said shut the hell up bitch!” He yelled again slamming his fist on the table and grabbing the pitcher on the edge of the table. 

“Are you the one who killed her? This is her place from her mother right? I bet that's how you got this nice cabin because a deadbeat like you obviously wouldn’t have the financials to cover a place this nice and big,” I emphasized hoping maybe the size of the cabin could help narrow down their search somewhat. 

“Maybe this will teach up to keep your mouth shut,” he said roughly grabbing my chin and pouring the contents of the pitcher down my mouth and nose basically water boarding me. The liquid in the pitcher was salt water and it made my whole body hiss in pain from the various cuts scattered everywhere causing me to scream in agony. I begin laughing in a hazy way, about to faint from the pain my body is experiencing. Hopefully the team could track down who the cabin actually belonged too. Before I could think about it too long I glanced at the camera one last time before passing out again.

-

Spencer gasped as he realized what Y/N was hinting at and flew to Garcia’s lair. “Garcia I need you to look up Larry Peterson’s grandmother and find out if she owned any property. I think that might be where he is keeping her.” Garcia quickly typed in the information finding an address that was in the middle of the woods.

“That looks like a nice big cabin in the middle of woods just like what we’re looking for doesn’t it,” Garcia said smiling hopefully at Reid.

“Yes, send us all the address. She has to be there,” Spencer said running out to tell the rest of the team. 

Everyone quickly headed to the address Garcia sent them hopping out of the SUVs and putting on their vests. Spencer and JJ took the back with Hotch and Emily taking the front. Morgan and Rossi entered through the side door. 

-

I awoke to the painful shocking of the taser and a hand over my mouth. As I came to I could hear the sounds of foot steps above me. I tried to scream to let the team know I was downstairs through the trapdoor that Peterson had revealed to me was there but securely hidden. 

“They’ll never find you down here so stop screaming,” He said whispering into my ear. Tears began to pour down my face knowing my team was so close but not being able to find me. I took what little bit of strength I had left and with all my force I bit Peterson’s hand and swung my legs back hitting him just hard enough to get his hand off of my mouth.

“Spencer!” I screamed as loud as I could before the hand once again found my mouth and the taser found its way back into my side. Screams of pain left my lips, muffled from the ears upstairs. 

“Did you guys hear that,” Spencer said causing everyone to freeze.

“Yeah it sounded like it was coming from below us,” Emily said.

“Hey guys check this out,” Morgan said. I could hear the familiar sound of the carpet being dragged back and then the trap door to the stairs being opened up. 

Peterson’s hand left my mouth and I heard the sound of a gun being cocked beside my head. He pointed the gun towards the stairs, taser still pressed into my side. As I heard the steps begin to descend the stairs I realized he was probably going to shoot whoever came down.

“Wait he has a gun!” I screamed in warning. That distracted Peterson as he once again tased me causing me to cry out. The foot steps descended faster and soon everyone came into view. Tears sprung to my eyes as I saw Spencer. I could tell by the look on his face that he did not handle me being kidnapped well at all. 

“Put the gun down Peterson,” Spencer said aiming the gun at him. However, no one had a clear shot because he was using my body as a shield. 

“Take one more step and I’ll shoot her!” He yelled back aiming the gun at my head that hung down, me no longer having the strength to hold it up myself. 

“You shoot her and we shoot you,” Hotch said beside Spencer, gun aimed and ready. 

“There’s no way out of this Peterson you killed 15 women and kidnapped and tortured an FBI agent,” JJ said coming around to Spencer’s other side.

Peterson let out a spine chilling chuckle. He quickly pressed the button on the taser one last time causing me to scream in pain as he had turned the voltage as high as it would go before shocking me one last time. He then pulled the trigger of the gun, a loud bang going off. The taser fell from my side as Peterson hit the ground. He had shot himself. 

“Hotch, JJ, unhook the cuffs. I got her,” Spencer said wrapping his arms around my body.

“I knew you’d figure it out,” I smiled lazily at him, vision beginning to fade into the darkness. 

“Come on Y/N stay with me,” He said carrying me up the stairs. “I love you baby I just got you back stay with me now.”

“I love you too Spence,” I said and that's the last thing I remember besides being loaded into an ambulance.

-

As I woke up the first thing I noticed was the unbearably bright light. The next thing I noticed was the pain all over my body but more specifically my side. Oh yeah that’s right I was repeatedly tased. I groaned shifting and opening my eyes. The small moment caused the curly haired man asleep in the chair beside my bed to stir.

“Y/N you're awake,” Spencer said smiling at you. His smile quickly turned to a frown. “ What the hell were you thinking!” He yelled at me.

“I’m sorry Spence I made a bad call,” I whispered looking down.

“I was so worried about you. I thought I lost you,” He said tears falling from both of our eyes. He pushed his forehead against mine wiping my tears.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here,” I said reaching up and brushing his tears away as well.

“I love you so much. I’m so glad you’re okay,” He said pressing his lips to mine in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” I said again kissing him back. When he pulled back there was a knock on the door and in came the rest of the team giving me hugs and telling me to get better soon.

“The doctor said you’re going to be fine, but you have to take it easy for a little while until your injuries heal,” Hotch said being the last one, besides Spencer, in the room. 

“Really Hotch I’m fine I don't need time off,” I said trying to sit up more and groaning from the sharp pain in my side.

“You’re taking time off until you’re better Y/N and that's an order. Get well soon,” he said giving me a half smile before closing the door on his way out.

“They want to keep you overnight for observation,” Spencer said smiling at me.

“Will you stay with me,” I said giving him puppy dog eyes that I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. 

“Of course anything for you,” he said. I scooted over in the bed to make room for Spencer and he climbed onto the bed and wrapped me in his arms as we both drifted off to sleep. Spencer leaving a light kiss to my head.

[pearlsartblog2019]

steam powered pirates

Steam Powered Pirates

She always loved how the Sea smelled after a storm. The relief, the fresh air, as if all the worries and cares in the world had blown away on those awful winds and the world was going to be ok. Of course she knew that was lil more than a dream. The last fight had been horrid, they were heading to port today to get the repairs made. Wanting to keep her safe from the marauders, Her father had shut her in his cabin. Locking the door and telling her under no circumstances were she to come out. That of course was the first door they broke down. Yah ok, So the Beciles scared her. Pearl wasn’t going to deny it one bit. The fact that their first mate was already jealous as hell of her father didn't make it any easier. That all of them were fruit cakes just added another layer. But the look on Skulls face, the utter hatred and envy.  Then him trying to manhandle her, promising that he’d send her to the bottom. “Time to go see your mother lil one,” He had sneered at her. That scared her more than she would ever wanna admit. Her father, Spine Walter, had told her that she didn't even need to be out on deck today to help if she didn't want to. But work would get her mind off of the insanity of it all. The storm, The Beciles, all of it. So here she was, out in the wind, helping Dex bring in the nets. Because if she didn’t have something to occupy her mind, Pearl Walter was gonna go stark raving mad. “You sure yer up for this lil bit?” Her cousin asked as he lodged the Gaff in the net pulleys. “Yah,” She ran a hand through her black hair, “I kinda have to be. Everyone around here has to pull their weight, Dex.” “That's bull,” her Cousin told her, “Even the captain said you don't have to do this if you're not up to it.” “I wanna tho,” Pearl looked out over the ocean, “Get my mind off of all of that. Ok?” “Ok kiddo,” Dex reached over and ruffled her dark hair, “Just dont OVER do it ok?”She nodded and was about to say more when the pulleys squeaked to high heaven indicating that there was something way too heavy in the nets. “What in heaven's name?” Pearl looked down over the edge and all she could see was what looked like a mass of seaweed. “What did we haul in?” Dex asked. “I… I’m not sure.. Looks like a clump of.. “ She trailed off as the nets reached the deck and the hissing started. Like a million pissed off sea snakes, something in that mass of seaweed was  UNHAPPY.Dex promptly lurched back from the nets and proceeded to shove Pearl behind him. “Whoa,” He said, “We reeled in something didn't we?” “Yah we…” Before Pearl could finish the hissing was replaced with screeching and then crying. “Ok what in the?” By now the commotion had gotten the attention of everyone else on the ship and they were all heading over to see what the two of them had found. “What's in there?” Her uncle Jon asked as he walked up. (note: Jon strikes me as the kind that takes care of folks so he’s the ship's medic.)Pearl shook her head and turned back to the nets. “I dunno.” “Well let's set it down and see what we find,” Dex said as he swung it over the side and proceeded to lower the net down. Now it was clear that there was something alive in there, because whatever it was started thrashing and screeching more. That was when Pearl got a look at her face. Yes HER face. Blue eyes peered out from the mess of sea weed and she looked panic stricken. It didn’t even occur to pearl that it might be a lil odd there was a girl caught up in the net. All she could think about in that instant was getting her out. “HEY!!” Pearl called and headed over, “HEY calm down or you're gonna hurt yourself!! There are hooks in there! If you squirm, yer gonna get cut!” The girl looked up at pearl and hissed again, displaying sharp teeth at her.  “GET ME OUT!!” she cried, “Please they might be back!!” “Hey it's o k,” Jon headed over to check her with pearl while the rest of the crew and family started appearing. “Hey we gotta get her out Uncle Jon,” Pearl told her, “She’s all tangled in there and will get …” “Hush Lil Bit,” he told her, “I know. First we gotta calm her down.”The girl hissed at him again but now looked more afraid than ferocious, “Please get me out. They chased me… I got scared and…” Jon smiled, “It's ok.. I promise we will get you loose..” he moved over and started working on detalingling the net. It was in such a state tho that salvaing it and getting the girl out appeared to be impossible. Jon made a face and then turned to pearl, “lil bit do you still have that knife?” “Yah,” Pearl reached down and pulled it out, “I never really use it for anything but to cut rope tho.” “Perfect, “ Jon s miled, “Yer dad is gonna skin my arse for this but I’ll replace the net later. “ By now the dad in question, Spine,  had been called and Along with the rest of the walters had come over to see what in the heck had happened. “What…” That was when he looked down and saw the girl with blue eyes looking at him. By now more of her was loose from the net and she had long curly brown hair, blue eyes and looked like she was about to bolt over the side of the deck the moment she got the chance. Rabbit, Hatchworth, Zero, And Upgrade were also running up to see all of this, closely followed By Peter. “She was caught in the net daddy,” Pearl told him. Spine looked on in awe, “Sweetie if she was in the net then she…” “Siren,” The girl said, “I’m a Siren and my name is sprocket.” Dex walked over and shoved his hair out of his eyes, “Whoa… “ Jon held up his hands,”ok first things first let's get her cut loose from this thing and then see if She's hurt ok?” Pearl nodded and went back to helping Jon get her loose from the net, while they worked he talked to Some of the others. “Rabbit, Upgrade, I’m gonna need you two to go fire up the bilge and fill the display tank ok? We need some place so she can breathe and be safe…” Pearl saw the siren girl Sprocket Shudder a bit, “D… Display?” Pearl Realized that might scare her, “Oh no sweetie.. It's nothing like that. Sometimes we catch fishes and stuff, we have a place to keep them. It's a nice big tank up on the deck with a really cool thing the captain made to keep the water clean.  You can stay there till we find your home.” Sprocket looked at her and shook her head, “I.. I don't have a  home…” Jon smiled at her and continued working on the net, “Well then you can stay with us until you find one. If you never do, then this can be your home. WHen you're a little older you’ll learn how to  have legs on dry land .. then you can just if you like. Till then we’ll keep you nice and cozy ok? We’ll even make it bigger for you in the next town.” By now this had gotten the captain's attention and Peter came over to check on everyone. He took one look at the lil siren and smiled at her, “Hey there. I'm sorry if we scared you. Wow i’ve not seen a siren since i was lil.” He knelt down next to her, “I'm sorry about all of this mess. Last night was kinda a trial.” “They caused it!” The lil siren snapped, “The Monsters on that other boat! They caused it!!”The whole crew froze when they heard her say those words. Everyone knew there could only be one other crew that she was talking about. There had only been one other boat in the area last night. “Oh honey,” Spine came over and knelt down, “Did the Beciles cause this? And we fought  with them, so we were part of it. I”m so sorry lil one. “Sprocket stared at the tall man with green eyes kneeling before her, and then over at the young girl and the ship's doc. Unlike the other crew she could feel that they were good people and so she shook her head. “You aren't like them.. This was.. An .. an accident. “ She said “Very much so,” Jon told her, “now let's finish getting you out of that net and… Oh no..” He had finished cutting away the net but now he could see that around the shiny black tail of the lil siren, strings of  hooks were embedded in there. They were not the kind that the walters used, for these were meant to not only catch, but catch sea creatures as painfully as possible. When their crew had to catch fish for food or to trade, they desperately tried to only use nets. When they DID have to use hooks they made sure to use only one barb hooks, that caught in the mouth of fish as painlessly as possible. For they wished to take the fishes alive to trade for aquariums and such. But no, the hooks wrapped around and digging into the young siren’s tail were made to kill. To catch and then cause the creature they had caught to bleed out. They were horrid and deeply painful. “OH sweet heart,” Spine gasped, “What did they… “ “Easy now Bro, I need you to go and get me a blanket so I can get her out of the net. I don't want her quills broken and that's the safest way to do it. “ Upon mentioning that Pearl looked and saw that the siren girl did have a long line of quills going down her back and to the end of her tail. SPine nodded and took off to get it, Then Jon turned to Peter. “Now sir I’m gonna need you to help me with this and then we will need to get her into the fresh seawater Rabbit and Upgrade are pumping into the tank. “ “Ok,” The captain nodded. He then turned and asked for Hatchworth and Zero to mind the ship and keep them on course for the moment. They agreed and a few seconds later, Spine returned with the blanket for the siren. “Ok kiddo,” Jon told her, “I need you to let me wrap you up ok? Then we're gonna take you some place and get those nasties outta that pretty tail ok?” Sprocket nodded and let them wrap her up and then carry her away. Pearl stayed on the deck with Spine and watched as they carried her below decks. “Skull tried to kill her, didn't he, daddy?” Pearl asked softly. Spine had to sigh a bit at that, “I think he may have Lil bit. But he won't ever be able to hurt her again. I promise.” “Are… are we going to keep her  here daddy?” Pearl asked Looking up at him with wide eyes. “Until we find her home, “ Spine smiled down at her, “Yes we are.” Pearl nodded, “good. I think she needs a family daddy.” “ I think you might be right LIl bit. “ Spine gave her a hug, “And I think you and Me might just be up to that job.” Pearl gave him a hug back and then went back to help Dex with the things for the ship. A few hours later during her studying time, there was a soft knock on the door and it was Jon telling her that if she wanted to come see Sprocket she was allowed to now. Pearl jumped up and headed out for the deck as fast as she could. In the few hours that had passed the display tank had been draped with curtains on the inside that could be pulled down her back to give the lil siren privacy if she so chose. Some waterproof blankets and pillows made of material that would stay down had been added. So now the lil siren was curled up with one of them appearing to doze. A lot of her tail had been wrapped in bandages and she appeared to be well and truly asleep. Pearl smiled and came up to sit down next to the tank. Sprocket must have sensed her because she opened her blue eyes and smiled into Pearl’s pink ones. “Onechan,” Pearl said softly. “Hmmmm?” Sprocket asked, apparently able to hear her somehow. Pearl instantly blushed but smiled, “it's from my mother’s home language. “ “Oh?” Sprocket asked. “It.. it means Big sister.” Pearl said shyly. Sprocket smiled more, “how do you say lil sister?” “Imoto,” Pearl told her. “Imoto?” Sprocket smiled about going back to sleep “Imoto, i like that. Thank you for saving me.” “Go back to sleep, Onechan,” Pearl told her. “I promise to keep you safe.” Sprocket smiled and nodded, “Thank you Imoto. See you tomorrow.” Pearl nodded and leaned against the tank, “Doitashemaste Onechan. Sleep tight.” ( Note: Doitashemaste means your welcome) 

Part Two:

There was a strong wind blowing up, predicting that there might be a storm coming in tonight,  for the moment tho the sky was clear and pearl was enjoying being up in the first of the two crows nest that the ship had. She was leaning against the railing when she heard a knock on the hull of the ship. She looked down and smiled. Hopped down from her perch and moved over to swing one particular Gaff out over the side of the ship. A few moments later she had lowered the ingenious contraption the captain had  made and was pulling the person that had knocked on the ship back up. She smiled when it reached the level of the deck and there Sat her big sister swishing her almost completely healed tail back and forth. “How was it today?” Pearl asked. Sprocket smiled and reached up to pull on the rope to swing the contraption over her Tank. “Cold but it felt good. Hehe I think The Captain's heated water here for me is starting to spoil me a bit!” Pearl grinned, “we are all spoiled on it for baths too!! “ She moved the controls on the contraption so it was over Sprocket's tank and the lil siren slipped off of it and into the  heated water. Then after a few moments of warming up, popped back up to the surface of the tank as Pearl headed back up to the crows nest. “So you think there’s gonna be a blow tonight?” Pearl asked. Sprocket nodded, “Yah there’s definitely something coming in on the current. It's a lil odd. I hope it's not gonna be too wild!”

Pearl nodded and plopped back into her seat, “We should hit port tomorrow. We’ll be picking up Uno and a lot of supplies.” “That will be nice, “ The lil siren smiled, “I really can't wait to meet her.” Pearl grinned more,” You’ll love her. She's a whole lot more logical than me but she’s also a lot of fun. She's smart, pretty and a damn good cook too.” Sprocket laughed, “no one is better than you sis, I’m sure i’ll get on great with our cousin tho.” Pearl smiled and was about to say more when Dex hollered down from the higher up crows nest, “HEY RUNT!!” “Yah?” Pearl called up, “What?” “Can you get up here? I need those eagle eyes of yours!” he called down more. Pearl smiled and sprocket “I’ll be right back.” Sprocket nodded and went back to looking out over the waves as her sister clambered up the ladder to join their Cousin up top. “What is it?” Pearl asked. He handed her the Spy glass, “Look over there and tell me that's not what i think it is,” He told her darkly. Pearl looked at him in dread for a moment and then took the glass. She looked through it and out to the west looking for what her cousin was seeing. She felt her blood run cold when she got one look at it. That black ship sails with the strange green tinge. The name of the ship’s owner, BECIEL, Emblazoned on the side in that same noxious green. Pearl Screamed and nearly dropped the spy glass when she saw them. “That’s what I was afraid of, “ Dex told her, “Come on we gotta get down and warn everyone.” Both of them quickly scrambled down the pole and went to find out where the captain and Their parents were. A few moments later the captain was up on deck and the black ship with the green glow was getting that much closer. “Every one batten down the hatches and hit full sail,” The Captain ordered. “If we make it to port before them, they won't be able to attack.” “You heard the man!” Pearl heard her dad shout, “Let's make it happen!” Then everyone on the ship exploded in furious motion, Getting the ship tightened down and then getting it ready to move. Sprocket had no idea what on earth was going on when everyone suddenly burst into motion, but she watched from her tank as it happened. She was after a few moments of trying to flag down Pearl, able to get her attention. “What's going on!!” She asked. Pearl looked over her shoulder and off into the distance, “The Beciles. They’re after  us again. We're gonna try  and beat them to port. Hang on tight sis this might be a bit of a wild ride. “ Sprocket looked off into the distance and saw dark clouds rolling up as well. There was a storm of several kinds coming tonight, she hoped everyone survived. Hours later; The lil siren hunkered down in her tank and for the millionth time that night wished she could at least for a few moments have legs. Despite all the efforts to out run them, Despite the walter ship being faster, It was as if some infernal power fed the becile ship and it had caught up with them, or nearly so. Now the monsters tailed them and fired shots at them every chance they got. Along with that, the storm had caught them too. So in tandem with the crack and booms of the other ships' guns, the cracks and booms of thunder and lightning blasted them as well. She huddled in a corner and watched the rain lash the outside of her tank with the fury of a thousand angry sea gods. Sometimes she wondered in this long night, if they had somehow angered the gods. She watched as her family  had to cut the sails to keep them from being ripped  up in the wind and that gave the other ship the time it needed to catch them. It was more than slightly insane at this point, and she just hoped somehow they lived through this. That was when she saw something she never thought she'd see in a million years. Her sister was on the deck and looked over to the other ship. There was a girl on the deck even younger than the two of them. Something about her caught Sprocket’s eye but she wasn't able to make it out. What she did see was the First Mate of that crew, The Hideous copy cat of her own loving father, Known as the skull for his cadaverous appearance, Backhand the other girl. IF skull was as strong as Spine was, Sprocket knew that had to hurt. Even if the girl was part of that evil, evil group. That was uncalled for. On top of that, the monster did it just as the other ship tilted from one of their own blasts, and the younger girl went flying. Over the side of the ship, face first into the waters before. The walters got in a lucky shot then and the Becile ship  had to pull away. Pearl had seen this and came running up with Dex. “WE CAN'T LET HER DROWN!!” Pearl screamed over the howl of the wind. Dex nodded and gave Pearl a rope. “Don't let that thing come un-tied!!” He shouted. Then against all good sense, Sprocket watched as pearl climbed onto the side of the ship and launched herself, Her TINY SELF, into the white froth below. “PEARL!!” Sprocket screamed at the top of her voice, THen launched herself at the cover on the tank and sent it flapping in the wind. Dex turned in time to see the siren  jump up onto the side of her tank and then launch herself into the wild sea after her sister. “SPROCKET!!”  Dex howled in horror. Then the second horror hit. He felt the rope that had been holding pearl go slack and started pulling on it as hard as he could, only coming back with a frayed edge.

“OH GOD!” Below the surface the water was calmer but still wild. Sprocket back in her element, looked around for her sister and the other girl. Out of the corner of her eye, in a flash of lightning from the surface she saw it. The frayed edge of the rope that had been around Pearl’s waist. She dove after it madly and tugged on it. Moments later she had reached  her sister who looked like she was about to swallow half of the ocean. There was also the girl that her sister had her arms around. Younger than either of them, the girl looked like she’d been treated horridly. Maybe she hadn’t been one of them? Maybe a prisoner? Then Sprocket looked below her sister's face and arms and saw something. The other girl had a TAIL. Brassy and gold colored, lacking quills like her own, The other girl was a MERMAID. And they were both out cold. She wrapped the Rope around her arms and then grabbed Pearl and the other girl, Heading for the surface hoping to find some place to ride out the storm. The next morning: On the ship The Spine was frantic and not taking no for an answer. Everyone else had decided that both of the lil girls were most likely  lost to them forever. Sprocket might be able to survive on her own, but pearl…. Spine wasn't having it. Sprocket had dove in after her sister and he firmly believed that she would save pearl. That they were out there somewhere and he was going to keep searching  until he found them. EVen Rabbit was to the point where she was about to tell her brother that it was time to give up, the girls were most likely gone, when suddenly they all heard it. They  were sailing past a TINY outcropping of rock, No bigger than the ship’s deck, when they heard it. Singing. Singing Spine KNEW. Everyone looked at The captain and he stepped aside letting spine have the wheel Everysingle member of the crew there and then deciding to never doubt Anything that Spine believed in ever again. Moments later the ship pulled up beside the rocks and they all looked down to see a very  roughed up set of three girls huddled together on the rock. “Hush,” Pearl griped, sounding very hoarse. “I did what I had to do.” “Yah but it was STILL STUPID,” Sprocket told her, “next time you see someone fall off a ship maybe get the person that can breath  under water?” “I panicked, “ Pearl continued. “I Noticed,” Sprocket told her, hugging her more. THen the siren looked up and saw the ship pulling up beside them. “HEY!! OI!!” She screamed and waved, “GIRLS OVERBOARD!!” “WE NOTICED!” Dex called down to them as he and the rest of the crew started climbing down to pull all of them to safety . Everyone marveled at the other lil mermaid they had found. Spine Gave Pearl up into Jon’s care along with the new lil one and then hugged Sprocket, being careful of her quills. “YOU ARE SO BRAVE,” He told her, “My brave girl. My lil hero.” He laid his cheek on her brown curls, “Thank you for saving your sister.” “Sisters,” she corrected him, “We can't leave her alone daddy. Not after what the becils did to her.” “We won't,” He hugged her more, “I promise. “ Rabbit came over with a grin, “Are you SURE she’s not yours by blood?” Spine and Sprocket looked up and gave her identical looks with raised eyebrows, “Nope nope, “ Rabbit waved her hands, “At some point you did a mermaid and she happened. You can't deny it any more. She’s JUST LIKE YOU.” Spine had to smile at that, “Of course she is,” Spine told His older sister, “She’s my daughter. Plain and simple. “ Sprocket smiled in pleasure at that, and leaned her head on Spine’s shoulder. “Can I go back to my tank now daddy? I'm frozen, tired and wanna sleep for a week.” He nodded and kissed her, “Of course love. My brave girl. Let's get you settled and I’ll check on your sisters. “ She gave a deep sigh and leaned into her father’s arms,” Thanks daddy .”

[aemperatrix]

Keats Is Coughing

by Marianne Boruch

Everything is made of everything. — Leonardo da Vinci

I found Rome in the woods.

Fair to admit it’s mostly tundra to the west in the park, past Toklat the Denali I revised, low grasslands engineered to freeze deep by October — this being Alaska — the great

           Tabularium close to the Temple of            Castor and Pollux I rebuilt that same summer —             not superimposed, exact as any scheme

in secret — the Arch of Septimius Severus at the gravel bar        where fox drank from a river turned stream,           a Theater of Marcellus near               the ranger station where one raven,                                                                                    such a brat,   complained of                      my Circus Maximus, Trajan’s Column,                              my Baths of Diocletian, too many spots soaked in unpronounceable Latin.

                   I really did, I shouldered bits of it,      a ruin-hushed haunted business, my brain                                                         a truck bed, a lift, pulleys big as a whale’s heart, expletives of cheap wonder all over                                                                  my woodlot and expanse.                          One self-anoints to embellish day, years, life thus far, and think oneself so...    

                      Then busted — 

by a raven!

Well, that’s memory for you, that’s so-called        civilization for you, to layer up,                         to redo the already done.

I mean it’s a fact, the puny life span we’re allotted.              And proof — Denali in August, fireweed, spunky scrawny first Latinate — Erechtites hieracifolia — 

              giving off flowers to mark               what weeks left, little               time bomber, time traveler, ancient               slips red-flagging the countdown to winter               by climbing its own stalk.

Something perverse about that. Something perfectly fiendishly self-conscious about that.

•

From the start perverse, any premise.      Ask...We can’t know. To be compelled

           makes an occasion. Rome’s grand     past horrific, fire and ash, swamp into bog, lust              and bloodlust — 

The Alaska Range dreams lurid as Rome,                                        the worst way below being fire, summer snow at night      off the highest peaks by noon              as distant from our cabin as the size of a hand if I                         held up the one with                         an eye in the middle

to know how this works. Some have the power to raise from the dead a before, before scary and beautiful           back to mystery cults, in caves, rubble far under a Roman street, the altar to Mithras still slaying his bull, crumbling the stonework.

            All things being equal. But they’re not.                    Agony, it’s older.                      Ask the moose at Denali,                         the snowshoe hare, the lynx,

such a wily courtly lot.                                           Ask Ovid      banished to his hovel on the Black Sea, aching                for Rome’s exalted rude cacophony, each      exiled month a big thick X down

                                  Februarius,                                 Aprilis to home-shattered sick enough

for an undersong. Look it up! Undersong: a strain; a droning; the burden of a song —                                              Maybe that lowest common denominator is contagious. Rome or Denali, a mash-up of lunge and cry out, predator and prey throwing coins to a fountain, footholds made first by a hoof, pickpockets at buses and trains, nuns queuing up their no-nonsense, thorny brambles, raggedy spruce groves,                                           a look, a nod to sell loveless love on the street, a chain of mountains in choral repeat, saints stained to glass, how ice gouged rivers from rock-bound,                                 the one-lung rapturous common-sense Pope all outstretched arms, his little popemobile circling the thrilled at St. Peter’s up on our rickety chairs to see in six, seven languages how radiant —                             Cross my heart, he was. And Keats, Keats is coughing.

•

You find the fossil record everywhere. In woods, tundra, under streets, in cadaver labs.                                 Not those bright transparencies, wistful orderly page after page in biology, a lie, a kind of flip-book romance. It’s the one big mess of us in us, the generous extraordinary dead prove that, signing a paper, giving themselves away                                            to be cut, disembodied for the knowing it, sunk to their chemical depth in some afterlife, opened on a table by kids really,                                             belabored doctors-to-be, our shabby shared wilderness to untangle, bones   joints   arteries   valves,                                                         The Dissector in hand, weirdest how-to book on the planet. For Keats too, 1819, his scribbled roses and sunflowers in margins,                                                                  his training,                                                           his anatomy theatre, looking down and later: still London, then Rome (he who gets it,  body fails, second floor, beside the Spanish Steps).                                           Heart, not my heart anymore.                                     Forgive me. I’m worse than the hopelessly confused misnamed English sparrow, descendant of the great weaver birds of Africa, a finch that lost the gene

      for nest, how to beneath, to across so intricate, precise, bringing bringing sticks and hair and bits of shiny paper. Undersong: the burden of a song.                                                       Poor bird. Poor sweet muddled middle of it. I watched morning after morning, his offering...                                                                           It’s Keats who made claims about beauty and time. His bed at the last                        too low for the window, his must-have                                 tell me, what’s out there — 

I admit: a ridiculous layering, Rome in Denali. Just because? Because I went to both in short order? Two continents, an ocean apart. My mother loved hand-me-down expressions — never the twain shall meet. They do meet.                           To repeat: that’s civilization for you. Happenstance and right now drag along future and past                             and why the hell not the Denali, the Rome in any of us, no two states of being more unalike, worn-out compulsion to collect and harbor, piece together,                                                                    stupid into some remember machine.

  Such fabulous unthinkable inventions we’ve made to merge or unmake: the trash compactor,   the poem, all tragedy and story, pencils sharpened to

a point that keeps breaking, wilderness gone inward as

                  an ocean-going ship’s container,                         a Gatling gun,                                 the AR-15 of the seething deranged,                                         the H-bomb,                                             Roman legions to Canterbury to blood-up fields into legend then dig the first plumbing but

                                            how can you                                             be in two places at once                                             when you’re not anywhere at all!

       (Thank you, Firesign Theatre, brilliant wackos,              old vinyl on a turntable still in the game... )

                     Fine. Fuck it. Start over.

•

See the sheep on high ledges, the arctic squirrels below.

See the way Dante saw, sweeping his arm across Vasari’s great painting as Boccaccio looks off, the plague sealing city after city. Dante

in hell, steady-luminous     those fact-finding trips to service           his worldly Inferno.

Winter sleeps through. August at Denali, bears shovel it down       a razor-edged maw —                                                 twigs! berries! more stems! —  Fate hoards to prepare, sub-zeros, fattens into...   

See the park’s camper bus, 92 miles how most of us jolt and slow, crossing hours more daylight than night all summer, rattling tin can with its exhaust and hissing gravel, the fear landslide                  an undersong just-possible, how we zigzag a mountain. Look!

                 Nearing a bear, the young caribou abruptly                             hesitant, shy as a leaf — 

No! Don’t! Do not! That grizzly huge, bent to his ploy just                                                 these berries around here, his ignore ignore, sure, quiet-tense as a trigger, and we of                      fogged scratched windows so hard to open — 

stop! The bus stopped. Jesus. The thing curious, closer...                          They’re not

that smart anyhow, a stage-whispering drunk from the back      of our imperial realm, mile 62, the Park Road.

What did Venus decree in her temple up whichever narrow street in Rome, the Ancients’                             stink of slops, standing water,           a bear chained to a slave (out of slav, by the way,                             backdrop is horde, human spoils)

both shackled to a grindstone for                                                             a later mob and roar.

Here’s what we saw: the little caribou  in reverse wanders sideways and safe.                                             Our bus one big sigh or like a wheezing asthmatic the brakes unbrake.

Bad dream, bad dream, the undersong start to all fable if                        for real we’d seen that kill back to lions off their continent cornered, bloodied in the great amphitheaters, rearing up, a nail to hammer’s                                   bite and blow. The wilderness in us

is endless. Near the cabin, near evening, a warbler                               in the fireweed                                                    hawk saw or heard,                          his switchblade clicked to —                                                                         I was and I was                      whirling feathers, either bird —    Every hunger                            is first century. Forever-thus   feral cats at the Forum about to leap too.                                                        The Forum, last homage   I shoveled holes and rocks to   remake, mile 82, while the haymouse riddled the meadow   down deep, her catacombs.

•

Time + beauty = ruins. Perfect shapes in the mind       meet my friends Pointless and Threat and Years of       Failure to Meld or Put to Rest. Ruthless                                                                                 is human.

I ask a composer: How to live with this undersong thing                             over and over, how to

                                                                   get rid of it,                                                                        the world of it — 

 He looks at me. What undersong thing? And shrugs       I’ll put it on the test! Let students define it.

     So I dreamt such a test: Go there. To Rome.                    Half-doze against a wall                      two thousand years of

    flesh    sweat    insect wing ago, stone laid by hand, by a boy when a whip, a whip, a welling up, his will not speak.

   Have at it. Please explain. Please fill in this blank.

Grief punctures like ice, moves like a glacier   to flat and slog and myth, low blue and white flowers       we hiked trail-less. The rangers insist. They insist — 

      never follow or lead, never lay down a path.

                                                                       From above the look of us spread out, our seven or eight a band, little stray exhausted figures                                           as over the land bridge from Asia,

circa: prehistory keeps coming, older than Rome, both   both underfoot, understory, underway

        miles below numb, it’s burning.

•

To see at all, you time                                         and this time and time again.

The spirit leans intrigued, the other part bored, then there’s want,                                                                    then there’s wait.

Once a city began with a wolf whose two human pups would      build, would watch it fall, nursing                                              at her milk for centuries               in marble               in bronze.

         She stands there and cries of                                                               that pleasure, by turns a blood-chill. The tundra. At night.

A snake eats its own tail, forever at it on a fresco. A real snake                       leaves his skin near the gravel bar. Some words sting, some are sung. Another life isn’t smaller.

[flourhurricane]

Fallout Week: Day 5, July 19th

Old or New?

...

Old World Soldier

Fandom: Fallout, Fallout 4 Rating: General Category: F/M Characters: Paladin Danse, Claire Lockhart (Sole Survivor), Knight Rhys, Scribe Haylen, Deacon, Dogmeat. Pairing: Paladin Danse / Female Sole Survivor Summary: “Don’t really have a home... not anymore.” Knowing very little about the civilian who saved his and his recon team’s lives, Danse asks Claire about her past. Takes place after Call to Arms, but before Jewel of the Commonwealth is completed. Word Count: 2783

Update: Edited and now posted on AO3!

...

Danse knew there was something unique about his new civilian contact. During their mission inside ArcJet Systems, Claire Lockhart followed orders and performed like an experienced soldier. But the Commonwealth lacked a military presence. There were the Minutemen but they were an inefficient, ragtag group without discipline or honor, and they had disbanded months ago.

Perhaps Claire came from the west and was a former NCR soldier. Her accent wasn’t native to the Capital Wasteland or the Commonwealth, or any settlements in-between. She spoke in a down-to-earth manner, with a charming drawl, and Danse was surprised by how much he enjoyed listening to her talk. He even found it amusing when Claire argued with Rhys: the madder she became, the more she enunciated her words.

“If you really don’t want any more of my help, I can just leave.”

Danse glanced up from his weathered copy of Riders of the Purple Sage as Claire and Rhys entered the police station, their hair and coats dusted with late November snow. Her dog with the peculiar name greeted her at the door, his tail wagging madly. Her friend with the sunglasses and pompadour wig remained seated at the corner table, playing a video game on her Pip-Boy. Haylen was at the terminal, writing her daily report. Danse was almost certain he heard her chuckle under her breath.

“Look, civilian,” Rhys fumed. “You may have helped Top recover that transmitter, but that doesn’t make you qualified to boss me around.”

“Boss you around?” Claire and Dogmeat continued to follow Rhys, hindering him from starting his lookout duties. “I wasn’t bossing you around,” Claire insisted. “All I did was offer to split up the night shifts. Y’all could get an extra hour of sleep. I don’t mind--”

“You’re not a Brotherhood soldier.”

“That didn’t seem to matter when I killed all them feral ghouls.”

Rhys turned around and glowered down at Claire. “Didn’t you hear me the first time, civilian? I don’t want your help!”

Dogmeat growled at Rhys for raising his voice, placed himself in front of Claire, and bared his yellowed teeth. Danse watched as Rhys stepped back, but he could tell the Knight was too aggrieved to walk away.

Danse dropped his book onto the front desk and rose from his chair. “Rhys, stand down,” he ordered.

Rhys switched his attention to his commanding officer. For a second, his anger simmered beneath his skin, reddening his face. (Or perhaps it was embarrassment. Everyone was now staring at him.) Then he complied and backed further away from Claire. Dogmeat’s stance relaxed. He slid down to the floor, but kept one paw on his mistress’ boot.

Danse continued, “Ms. Lockhart and her companion were generous enough to bring the food and medical supplies we desperately needed. If she wants to keep watch in exchange for boarding with us until the weather clears, then I give her permission to do so. Do you understand me, Knight?”

“Yes, sir,” Rhys answered through gritted teeth.

“Good. Your orders are to keep watch for the next two hours. Once you have completed your shift, come seek me and I’ll take over. Make sure to keep warm.”

Rhys curtly nodded and saluted Danse. He strode to the open office area, grabbed his laser rifle and a gray knitted cap from one of the desks, and went back outside. The door banged against its frame as he slammed it shut.

“... Well,” said Haylen, “maybe the snow’ll cool him off.”

Two smothered laughs came from Claire and Deacon.

Danse walked around the desk and approached Claire. “Ms. Lockhart.”

Claire’s smirk softened as she looked at him. “I keep telling you, Danse: call me Claire,” she said. “All this formality may be your thing, but it ain’t mine.”

“Ms. Lockhart,” Danse repeated. He pretended not to notice Claire rolling her eyes and went on to say, “If you have a moment, I’d like to speak with you in private.”

------

“Somebody’s in trouble,” Deacon sang.

Claire snorted. “Probably.” She remained standing next to the corner table and watched Danse disappear into one of the back rooms. Lights were turned on and flickered before pooling into the dark office area. If she strained her good ear, she could make out the sound of a table being pushed along the floor.

Finished with her report, Haylen leaned back into her chair and cracked her knuckles. “You’re not in trouble,” she assured Claire. “Danse mentioned he wanted to talk to you before you and Rhys came inside.”

“Did he say anything else?” Claire asked.

“Nope. But with all the help you’ve given us, maybe Danse wants to know if there’s a way he can repay you.”

Claire looked down at the laser rifle still in her hand. It was the same rifle Danse gave her after they acquired the transmitter. The way it vibrated against her arm when she switched it on. Its classic ozone smell when fired. It brought back memories of her days in basic training. Challenging times, but good ones.

Maybe I ought’a tell him that, Claire thought. She propped the rifle against the way, and at that moment, Danse called out her name. She reached over and the tapped her Pip-Boy’s screen, and grinned as Deacon pushed her arm away.

“Hope you haven’t beaten all my high scores.”

“Just a few of ‘em,” Deacon replied.

Claire knew what that meant: an entire score list with initials spelling the word “ass.”

Dogmeat plopped down beside Deacon’s chair, who started rubbing the mutt’s back with the bottom of his shoe. Claire retied her damp, ginger hair into a new bun as she walked into what used to be the police station’s interrogation room. It was sparsely furnished, with an elongated table, two metal chairs, and random junk scattered on the floor. Danse sat down and gestured to the chair across from him.

“Ms. Lockhart,�� he began once Claire was seated, “I want to begin by saying my team and I do appreciate the assistance you’ve given us these past two weeks.”

Claire opened her mouth to speak but closed it when Danse straightened his posture, making himself appear even taller, and folded his arms across his chest. Even without his power armor, Danse was an imposing figure. (Handsome, yes, but still imposing.)

“However, he continued, “I think it’s time you were more forthright with us.”

Claire blinked, confused. “Forthright?”

“Yes.” Danse remained stern but there were undertones of warmth in the next words he spoke. “I don’t wish to insult you, but my team’s safety is my responsibility and I need to be certain no harm will come to them. That’s difficult to do when we’ve invited you into our outpost -- given you and your companions shelter -- and we know next to nothing about you.”

A twist of guilt squeezed Claire’s chest. She had read Danse’s terminal entries last night, when her insomnia and the blizzard kept her from sleeping. Recon Team Gladius had arrived in the Commonwealth last January. Since then, they had lost over half of their teammates. Knight Keane was the most recent casualty, killed by the feral ghouls that nearly took over the outpost. Of course Danse would be protective of Rhys and Haylen. They were all he had left.

“What would you like to know?” Claire asked.

“For starters, you could tell me where you’re from.”

That was the last thing Claire wanted to talk about. Aside from Codsworth, the only people who knew about her 210 years spent frozen inside Vault 111 were Deacon, Preston, and the new residents of Sanctuary. Danse wouldn’t be placated with the usual answer she gave settlers during her travels.

“Where am I from? Oh, I’m new to the area. Used to live in this BIG ol’ settlement far south from here. We called it Texas.”

No, Danse deserved more than a witty half-truth.

“Alright,” Claire agreed. “But I gotta warn you: we could be sitting here for a spell.”

She began with the day the bombs fell. A banquet at the veteran’s hall was scheduled for that evening to honor the female soldiers who served in the Battle of Anchorage. Claire was one of those woman and she had been asked to be the guest speaker. Her husband Nate took the day off from work and her younger brother Floyd came home from college. It was the first time he’d been home since the summer.

“Nate and I were checking on our son Sean. He was only three months old at the time. Codsworth was washing the dishes and Floyd was watching TV, and… And suddenly, we hear Codsworth calling to us to come into the living room.”

The news anchor reported of nuclear detonations in Pennsylvania and New York. Claire remembered staring at Floyd and wondering what would’ve happened if he’d taken the morning train. The television station then lost its signal. Sirens blared. Military vehicles took over the roads. Everyone in the neighborhood panicked and rushed to the vault. There was little time for her family to say goodbye to Codsworth before they fled as well.

Slowly, her voice grew doleful. “Only a handful of families in Sanctuary Hills signed up for the vault program. Even the ones that did, like us, we didn’t really think the world was gonna end. Until the end was a breath away.”

Claire kept some details to herself. Like the sight of the mushroom cloud billowing into the stratosphere and feeling the heat emanating from the blast. The sound of gears and pulleys screeching as the platform lowered “the lucky ones” into the vault. Sean crying. Nate hunching his body to protect their baby from flying dust and debris. Claire gripping onto Nate’s shirt. Floyd clutching her hand, fearful, for perhaps the first time since he was a little boy. And when they believed they protected by Vault 111, some of their neighbors began weeping for loved ones left to die above ground.

Claire did, however, tell Danse about how she kissed Sean’s forehead and told him everything would be okay. That she would be right back. She told him how Nate’s smile calmed her nerves. How Floyd didn’t want to step inside his “decontamination” pod because of his claustrophobia… and how she had to convince him to follow the Overseer’s request.

As she reached the end of her confession, Claire was stoic. She’d had a lifetime of experience before the Great War of suppressing her emotions. But there was a small crackle in her voice when she talked about them. The man and the woman. She could still hear the BANG from the man’s revolver and Sean wailing as the woman took him from Nate’s arms. She could still see Nate’s body go limp and fall back into his cryo pod, and the man’s long, irritated scar as he stared directly at her. The last thing Claire remembered was trying to claw and kick her way out of her pod, so she could kill that man with her bare hands.

“When I was finally released, the man and the woman were gone. Nate was dead. Floyd’s pod was empty. I checked every room for some kind of him, but I think maybe they kidnapped him, too. Everyone else… all the people I used to know… they were all dead.”

Silence unfolded. Danse no longer behaved like the protective leader accessing a possible threat. Instead, he was leaning with his elbows on the table, riveted by Claire’s story. Riveted and appalled.

When Claire looked up, she noticed Haylen and Rhys were standing in the doorway. Haylen’s crestfallen face told Claire she’d heard at least most of her story. Even Rhys appeared sympathetic. When Claire’s eyes met his, he immediately stared down at the floor.

Rhys cleared his throat. “Uh, sir.”

Danse looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“The snow’s picking up again. Anything dumb enough to be out in this weather for long is going to freeze to death.”

“Then we’ll keep watch inside the station tonight. You and Haylen barricade all the exits. We can’t chance any raiders or ferals attacking for a warm place to stay.”

“Yes, sir,” said Haylen. She threw Claire an apologetic smile and left with Rhys.

There was another, more awkward silence between Danse and Claire, until Danse stood up and exited the interrogation room. Claire wondered if the conversation was over or if she was supposed to follow him, but he quickly returned with two bottles of ice cold beer. It was the same beer she gave the recon team yesterday. A treat hidden among their food supplies. Someone must’ve packed them in snow, inside the pre-war ice machine.

“Perhaps I should’ve asked if you drink,” said Danse.

“Oh, I drink,” Claire admitted. “More than I ought to sometimes.”

Danse let out a low chuckle, a sound Claire had never heard from him. It was unexpectedly soothing. Mental note to self, she thought: make him laugh again soon.

Danse sat down, opened the longneck bottles, and handed one to Claire. They each took a long swig. Claire savored the malty flavor as it rested on her tongue. It wasn’t a Guinness but it was still the best damn thing she’d tasted since escaping the vault.

“Ms. Lockhart, I’d like to give you my condolences,” said Danse, “but I think what you need more is assistance. I’d like you to reconsider my offer. There’s still a place for you in the Brotherhood, if you choose to accept it.”

Claire set her beer down. “I appreciate it,” she said. “But I already told you, Danse. I don’t think I’d be a good fit.”

“You said you were a soldier, correct?”

“I was, yeah. I was also a lawyer. The army discharged me after I was wounded by a spider mine. Lost most of my hearing in my left ear.”

“And that hasn’t damper your ability to eliminate hostile targets. If I spoke to Elder Maxson on your behalf, I’m confident he’d grant you the rank of Knight. Most initiates train for years before earning an officer’s rank.”

“That wouldn’t be fair to those initiates.”

“The honor would still be well-deserved.”

Danse pushed his beer aside and leaned closer, his elbows back on the door. He could tell Claire was a woman with a determination nurtured by a strong, stubborn soul. It was another reason why he gave her and her company the benefit of a doubt. He wanted to help, repay her for everything she had done. But if he wasn’t careful, Claire would never accept his help.

“... Claire.”

She tilted her head and stared at him, one eyebrow arched, a wry smirk upon her lips. “Oh, so it’s Claire now, huh? You must really want me.”

“I know you’re struggling, no matter how well you’ve adjusted to this new world. What Vault-Tec did to your family and to all their victims is reprehensible. Should you join the Brotherhood of Steel, you’ll have access to advanced technology and resources not found in the wastelands. You’ll have a family of bond and steel ready and willing to fight for you. And I promise you -- right here, right now -- to assist you in whatever way I can in your search for your son and brother. And I never go back on my promises.”

Claire was drawn in by the pure sincerity in Danse’s dark brown eyes. But for one moment, all she could think about was the synth she escorted to Safehouse Ticonderoga. It didn’t matter to the Brotherhood of Steel if a synth was made of all metal or skin and bones: they were considered a dangerous weapon created by the Institute. If a Brotherhood soldier like Danse and Rhys knew about H2-22’s real identity, they would’ve killed him.

“I… I need to talk this over with Deacon.” It was the best answer Claire could give. “We’ve been traveling together for a while now and it feels wrong to make any decisions without talking to him first.”

Danse couldn’t hide his disappointment. It wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, but he was grateful it wasn’t a definite rejection. He gave Claire an understanding nod and told her, “Take all the time you need.”

They sat together for a few more minutes, drinking their beers and idly chatting. Danse had many questions he wanted to ask Claire, about life before the Great War. But not tonight. He knew her emotions were still raw, barely hidden behind her soft smile as she talked about the snowman Dogmeat destroyed earlier that afternoon.

… How she could smile at all, Danse didn’t know. Except that it was possible Claire was one of the strongest people he’d ever met.

[venombane98]

Crossroads Chapter 1

Cassie looked over to Nick and they gave each other a nod as they headed through the front gate. "No guards? Especially here?" she looked around the courtyard, the only sound was the wind and their heels clicking against the cement. "I know, kind of givin me the spooks." "Just keep your eyes peeled, we don't need to be attacked by crazed inmates, just need to find our missing people and return them home." "Kind of like those search and rescues police and military do." "Exactly." she grins as they walk up to the steps of the asylums. "This place reeks...." "The maids probably walked out along with the security.."

The two walked through the doors and into the main lobby, lights were out only ones of far away halls were flickering, Nick took out his cigarette lighter and light it so they had some sense of direction. As they walked down the halls they un covered the true horror of what has been hidden. Debris, blood, and bodies not so much in that order but they were everywhere, every turn. The farther the detectives walked the worse the decor and stench got. Cassie found a flash light and they scavenged for some ammo for protection, all around empty rooms she picked up batteries and turned on the flashlight holding it up and un holstering her gun. They walked deeper and deeper into the dark asylum and they heard screams, moans, groans, crying, gibberish, anything these inmates and variants could make to set this place over the spook level.

Cassie and Nick wandered and found someone laying at the end of the hallway, they walked closer to see if it was their guy but he hoped up and tried to bite them! Cassie got pushed back against the wall roughly as the cannibal slammed her head into it as Nick tried to fight him off, all the inmate could say was 'MEAT' repeatedly, Cassie got up stumbling a bit and held her gun up, her vision dizzy as her partner cried out for her help or to shoot the attacker. She shut her eyes tightly and held the gun tightly in both hands. She fired... Might as well set off the dinner bell to any other cannibalistic variants. Nick tossed the body to the ground and grunted. "I'm getting too old for this..." "What cannibal attackers? That is actually the first." "Yeah well, we better get out of here before it becomes the last."

They headed down another hallway, squeezing through spaces or climbing over desks, they wandered into a gymnasium like room, but it was a horrific sight. Bodies hung naked from the ceiling, blood covering the floor entirely. "Jesus Christ!" Cassie covered her mouth and stared up into the abyss of death, but she saw one that stood out, he was clothed in formal wear, black slicked back hair, scarred and blistered face. His legs and a hand were bound by the ropes and it looks like a pipe pole was impaled through his lower stomach, he looked of recent passing but soft groaning proves there is life. "Nick, help me get him down." The two went to the pulley system and Cassie stared to cut at the knotted rope with a switch blade she had in her boot, incase the gun wasn't working out for her. Nick took the ropes and they gently lowered him to the ground, Cassie kneels down and laid her two fingers on his throat to check for a pulse.

In an instant the man sprung to life in an explosion. He grabbed Cassie by the throat and clenched his teeth in a rage. "Filthy whore I should of killed you when I had the chance!!!" Nick pulled out his gun "hey hey!" But no one took action, Cassie frozen in fear stared into the man's bright blue eyes as he paused, as if everything in that moment just stopped. He stared at her then released his grip. "What a beautiful bride...." Cassie relieved a sigh of breath, shaking and having a cold sweat of fear. The man felt dizzy again and coughed up blood he slowly fell back into her lapped and groaned. "Oh how I wished to see.. the children..." his words came out shakey and breathless , reaching up to Cassie. "Nick find some medical supplies we need to work quick on him" "Are you insane?.. You almost as crazy as the people here! He almost killed you why save him?" "Thats the point, he didn't. Now go hurry!" Nick grumbled and headed out in search of a med kit, maybe some doctor supplies for surgery. Cassie sat the man up and stood. "Take a deep breath and on 3 I'm going to pull this pole out. 1.... 2... 3!" He let out a gasp sharp and gritted his teeth as she pulled it free from his body. She took off her jacket and ripped off her sleeve and laid pressure onto the openings. "What's your name?" "E...eddie...." She nodded and gave him a small smile, "My partner and I are looking for some missing people and we are going to help you too, we can get you to safety." He shook his head in a fuss, "No no I must get you to safety. Your safe with me...."

Cassie blinked a few times and watched him closely as Nick returned. "I ransacked some doc's office." He handed her a back and she looked through, numbing, packaging gauze, cotton pads, and medical tape.... she number both ends of the wound and slowly cleaned and packed it up before putting the pads over and tapping them in place. She helped Eddie up and laid his arm over her shoulder as she wrapped her around around his waist to support him to walk. "Let's move out kid, we need to find those guys.." She nodded to Nick and they started their way again.

——————- Author’s Note: ————————

Hey guys here is another chapter of my crossover series between Outlast and Fallout. Please let me know for ideas or if I should continue! Find my art and stories at my Deviantart: http://aly09sherwood.deviantart.com/ Characters belong to Red Barrels and Bethesda. ————————————————————

[waypathfinder]

Crimson Lane - Chapter 23 - Burn

Links

Tumblr Master Post

Archive of our Own

Fanfiction.net

Chapter Text

Rey's arm was on fire.

With each drag of the rope, it felt like her skin frayed against the carpet floor as they tugged her limp body like a piece of scrap metal.

Bleary-eyed, she blinked at the pendant lights above her, trailing her gaze down the gothic red wallpaper. She'd not seen this part of the brothel before.

"It will be easier this way," Phasma had whispered into her ear, as a sharp-jab had stung her left arm. Rey had tried to fight the sleep that followed as they tied her up, but now there were blanks in her memory… the hit, her fall, hands grasping, body dragging, whispers, red walls, black doors.

She jerked her head against the heaviness, but her body wasn't responding right. Her tongue felt like a foreign object in her mouth; large and tingly. The coppery taste of blood pooling there.

She had bitten one of them; the blonde, she thought, Seth . She remembered now, digging her fangs into his shoulder as hard as she could. He had smacked her around the head then finished with one clean punch to the cheek. Rey tried to open and close her mouth, ascertaining whether he had broken it. She could move it, albeit painfully.

As they dragged her through Snoke's private corridor, she should have felt terrified, but the drugs had dulled her senses and there was a weightlessness to her emotions. Rationally, her brain was screaming fight, fight! but mentally, she was just confused… curious even.

"Do we watch?" a gravelly voice hissed from behind.

"No." Phasma's tone was sharp and unforgiving.

Watch what? A chill crept down her spine and all the way to her toes. The drugs weren't infallible after all. She only hoped they would be enough.

"That's a shame," the other man hissed. "I've always wanted to see him do one."

"Be thankful for that," Phasma hissed.

Something about the hollowness of her voice stirred a sense of panic, sharp as a steel-bladed knife slicing through her.

Rey kicked and thrashed, slurring Ben's name in something between a muffled sob and a whisper, but they ignored her.

There was a creak ahead and a door. They hauled her up by her armpits, arms hanging limp as the world around her erupted into laughter.

"Young, Rey... " Snoke's sing-song voice poised as if capturing the grandeur of the moment. "Welcome."

"Where is she?" Ben's voice rumbled like a landslide ready to tear trees and rocks up in its path.

He'd barely made it through the door of his parent's home before he'd felt a bone-chill dread that had made him run into the foyer, searching every room.

Poe rushed after him. "I told you, she got a tip about the USB drive and went back for it."

"How the fuck could you let her go?"

"Mate, she's got Finn and Dom with her. It was an in and out job."

Poe tried to sound calm, hiding behind that half-arsed smile, but Ben could feel it. He could see the uncertainty in his eyes, the skittish way he couldn't stop watching the clock.

He'd fucked up, and he knew it.

"How long?"

Poe wouldn't look at him and Ben felt his insides fill with dread. "They left about 30 minutes after you did."

Too long.

"I'm sure—"

Ben raised a single finger up at him, glaring. With the other hand, he punched in the brothel's number so quickly that half of them were wrong. He tried again, swearing until he heard the phone ring.

The receiver clicked.

"Where's Rey? Did she come in tonight?"

There was a pause, and Ben's hand tightened around the phone.

"Phasma—"

"She had a booking."

"Where the fuck is she?"

"I booked in her with Hux at six."

"Is she still with him?" Ben's stomach tied in knots. "Answer the fucking question!"

"I warned you not to bring her back …"

Phasma went quiet until all Ben could hear was the sound of her breathing, and, at last, "You know where she is."

Snoke .

He should never have left her there… "Am I too late?"

Footsteps . Muffled, like she was covering the phone with her hand and every microsecond was an eternity.

"Phasma…" he croaked, unable to breathe. "Give me something."

"I don't know."

The line went dead.

"What's happening? Is she okay?"

"Snoke has her," Ben said, his hand now clutching to the chair they shared only hours before. He spread his fingers against the back, still feeling the heat of her body in his memory.

Ben looked up again at Poe. He tried not to care about the tears cutting down his face, the way he could feel his tics pulling beneath his eye, or even the way his words felt like they had been crushed into his chest.

"He'll kill her, Poe… if he hasn't already."

Where was she?

Rey rocked her body back and forth, rallying against the ropes that strangled her whole body like a noose. Something shifted beneath her, sticking to her sweaty legs. It stunk of heavy plastic that had been stored away.

She tried to remember… to grasp hold of thoughts and memories that were too fast for her sluggish mind to catch. They sprinted past, flashes of light and sound; the USB drive… had she gotten it out?… A crack to her skull, falling, falling, falling.

Dark shadows shifted against lighter ones, floorboards squeaked, someone exhaled, another was rushing around, closing windows and curtains.

"Who's fucking bright idea was it to drug her?"

No one answered.

"Get up!" the gravelly voice ordered.

Rey blinked beneath her blindfold; compelled to follow the order, she rolled and rocked on the ground trying to force her body to rise. The drugs had turned her bones to stone. So heavy .

"Get up, I said!"

Get up, get up, the voice in her head pleaded.

Rey pushed on her hands and knees to no avail. Part of her mind was waking, the emotion crept into her sleeping mind. Fear.

She would die here.

Liquid flooded her face, so cold it burned. Petrol. She gasped and kicked, trying to push herself away from where it was pooling in the plastic beneath her.

There was a low rumble of laughter and the blindfold was ripped away. This was not one of the boudoirs; the walls were bone-white, a single exposed globe hung from the ceiling and to the right of it a pulley and rope. Rey squinted, trying to understand what she was seeing when Snoke's pock-marked face bent down to face her.

"There now. That did it. Look!" He turned to face Phasma lingering against the back wall. Snoke pointed at Rey's face. "Look at those beautiful, brown eyes."

Phasma nodded. Her face giving nothing away.

"Such a pretty face," he swept a lingering gaze across the rest of her body. "All of it, so pretty, So—" he paused, searching for the word, " tiny , like I could just snap your bones."

He held a hand out before her eyes and snapped his fingers with a sharp click.

"Snap!" She flinched, every second the drugs felt like they were slipping away.

Snoke rested his finger just below her mouth, dragging it down her neck, between her breasts, and stopping between her legs and Rey stopped breathing.

"What I want to know is was he good to you, Rey?" he whispered. "Did he make you come like he did on your first night together?"

Not like this. Get up!

Hatred poured through her veins, giving Rey a surge of strength to her weak muscles. She rolled onto her stomach, forcing her knees beneath her and then rolling back on the balls of her feet until she was standing, shakily.

Memories were growing sharper; the camera, the night Snoke had watched her—them. The way he had used it against Ben.

"Touch me again and I'll break your neck." Her voice was hoarse with the sting of petrol fumes, but every muscle in her body tensed.

"There she is." Snoke's gold tooth flashed behind his smile. "This is the Rey I like. That fiery spit of hope. The hunger to be free. You still think you can get away, don't you?"

Rey took in her surroundings; Snoke, Phasma, the dickhead who had punched her earlier… No Hux. Three people, at least one of them trained in martial arts.

What was he hiding? On the outside, he looked old, frail almost, but there was something powerful about his size, and the way he held himself; she shouldn't underestimate him.

There were too many for her to take in her current state. She needed help, but the thought of crying out for help, exposing weakness and fear to Snoke… Rey clenched her teeth in resolve.

She would do this alone.

"Call the cops," Ben barked at Poe, keeping his eyes on the road ahead as he drove, weaving in and out of traffic, crossing the midline, shouts and horns blaring at them as they passed.

He didn't give a shit.

"Call the cops, I said."

"Are you sure you want that kind of—" Poe grappled for the word, " Exposure? "

"I don't care. If Snoke and the knights have Rey, then we will need backup. I need the police to at least see what he is capable of—" the words strangled in his throat and he tried to blot out the images of what he had seen Snoke do to people who had crossed him in the past.

He'd never seen it , but he'd witnessed the aftermath; the blood, the bodies, the way he'd split them from head to toe. Nothing but the cruellest punishment for those that betrayed or deserted him.

That punishment should have been waiting for him— not Rey.

His vision blurred. "Fuck!"

"We'll get to her, mate," Poe said softly. "I'm sure she's fine."

Ben swerved around a lorry, tyres screeching and skidding against the wet bitumen, then through a red light. the sound of sirens blared behind them, and his face flashed in blue and red in the rear-view mirror.

Poe looked back. "They want you to pull over."

Ben glared at him and the engine revved as he floored the accelerator.

"We could just pull over and explain… "

Ben shook his head, changing gears to maintain maximum speed. "They're coming with us."

Rey's screams echoed through the corridors of the brothel, or at least, that's what it felt like was happening when the electrified darts hurtled into her skin, shooting over fifty thousand volts through her system. They had released her for this part, hoisting her up between two masked figures who clamped her arms. Her body went rigid with searing pain, losing all motor control as electricity surged through her.

She couldn't speak, or even cry out. There was no control, or sound, just the low zapping of the tasers and when at last it stopped, she dropped like a dead weight onto the cold plastic sheet.

A body bag, she had realised by now.

Tears stung her eyes as she forced herself up on her elbows, gasping before the next one.

This would not be the way she would die, moments before, more masked figures wheeled in a chair, the seat of it topped with a razor-like pyramid, positioning it beneath the pulley-system.

"Do you like that?" Snoke asked, noticing the way Rey's eyes had been glued to the sight of the torture device. "That's for later. First..." Snoke searched beneath his robe; handling his belt, she heard him unfasten it and saw the pants loosen.

She got on her feet, her body shattering with violent tremors as she did. Though her heart felt like it had been cut in half, and her back still burned from the two hooks that out gouged her skin with electricity, she stood tall, her jaw set.

She shook her head, knowing that she would die before she would let him touch her.

"And after, I will kill you with the cruellest stroke."

"No."

Snoke took a long stride forward when there was a rushed knock at the door.

Rey froze, every inch of her body was in high alert.

"What is it?" Snoke snapped.

The door remained closed, but whoever was on the other side kept talking. "Hux is in position. The tracker shows he's less than a minute away."

With a surge of strength, Rey turned and kicked at the closest knight, a round-house kick to his knee and he collapsed with a yelp, while the blond-haired man rushed at her, aiming another blow at her head. She blocked the hit and spun away from him, far enough to deliver a jump kick to his abdomen, but he was faster, grabbing her ankle and twisting it so she slammed onto the ground.

Rey tried to jump up, but someone had jumped on her back, pulling her hair back with one hand, the other holding a knife against her neck.

She could smell Phasma's perfume as her low voice hissed, "Stay where you are."

Rey struggled beneath her, but it was useless, Phasma's legs locked around her arms and thighs, while she kept Rey's neck pulled back towards the ceiling, the knife blade, forming a paper-like cut at her throat.

Snoke had repositioned himself by the window, curtains open, waiting. Rey could see points of headlights reflecting in his eyes moments before the sound of tyres, someone was speeding through the street.

Rey felt a surge of relief, knowing in her heart that it was Ben. She would be safe now, everything would—there was a blood-curdling screech, like someone had tried to brake and then the whole building rumbled with an explosion. A ball of flame flashed past the window as the impact of the bomb ruptured the glass. Shards shot inside the room, crashing like a shower of razors around her body.

"No!" Rey cried out, her eyes filling with tears, barely able to breathe between the sobs that heaved from her chest and the crushing point of Phasma's knife.

Slowly, Snoke shook his head, and with a dash of sadness in his eyes, he turned to Rey.

"I'm afraid, for you, all is lost."

The glint of two silver panels reflected by the alleyway's street light. Ben studied them at speed, there were lines of wires on either side and with blood-chilling certainty, he knew what he was looking at.

His foot slammed on the brake pedal, as the air around them smoked with burning rubber and tyres screaming with an ear-splitting cry.

There was no time for words; for Ben, actions had always come faster. In a split second, he unlocked his and Poe's seat belt, forcing the side door open so hard sparks flew where it skimmed the side of a building.

"Get out!" he screamed.

Ben threw himself out of the car, tucking and rolling away only to watch red lights streak past. The sound was deafening; a blast wave of energy pushed him back, fragments of the Upsilon exploding in a hungry fireball as radiant heat tore through his body and then sucked away like a tsunami retreating.

He stumbled forward, coughing. Pain seared down his body, on the areas of exposed skin on his hands and face. His hands had taken the brunt of it, instinct had covered his face, the rest of his body was at least covered.

In the distance, what was once his Upsillion was burning, the twisted stench of a metal and rubber sending black plumes of smoke into the atmosphere.

"Poe!" he choked, unable to hear much above the ringing in his ears. "Poe!"

He searched through laneway, seeking for any sign that Poe had jumped free. On the far side of the alley, a body was lying still against the wall. Scrambling in the darkness, he crawled over to the body, checking for a heartbeat.

Poe groaned, his face bloody, a shard of white bone sticking out from his ankle.

"You'll be okay here. Help is coming."

Poe coughed, dazed. "What the hell happened—"

"I have to go."

Without looking back, Ben bolted to the brothel. There was blood and dirt in his mouth, his wrist stung with what felt like a fracture and his left knee felt like he had jarred it. None of that mattered; he pushed through the pain, darting through shadows, silent and deadly just like Snoke had taught him, trying to map out a way to sneak into one of the windows.

The ringing in his ears began to fade, just enough to hear her screaming.

Rey!

His eyes darted along the walls to the brothel, searching for any visual on her and every scream tore through his heart. There was time for stealth and patience, he was never any good at either. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of red hair and he charged at it, nostrils flaring, rage spiking his body as he lunged at Hux, smashing his head against the pavement. Hux blinked at him blearily, once, twice, and scowled before passing out cold on the cement.

The shrill cries ceased. The crackling and low roar of fire consuming the Upsillion took its place.

Ben's face drained ashen white as his clammy hands jerked while they scoured through Hux's bag, searching for a weapon, anything , he could use.

Suddenly, footsteps scraped on the pavement behind him, heavy, steel-capped boots, and iron bars grazing against the ground. Intimidation, pack-like hunting. He had once led them, and now he was the hunted.

With a resolved nod, he turned around long enough to see the Knights of Ren staring down at him.

Six against one.

He dragged his body up to stand, one leg hanging limp, teetering behind him, Hands at the ready, he braced his chest and abdomen for impact.

"Don't do it, Ren," Seth sneered.

"Then move out of my way."

There was a chuckle, a few of them exchanged nervous glances. Seth smiled, but none of them moved.

With a shrug, Ben launched at them.

It was a street fight; violent and bloody, no rules. He threw one in a chokehold, kicked another in the balls, while their hits connected more and more with his face and shoulders. In the scrap heap of arms and legs, he spotted Seth and lunged at him, pressing into his jugular, as Seth gasped and clawed his hands back to rip him off.

There were too many of them, coming at him from behind, each side of them, but he held tight to Seth because regardless of the odds, he had to win. He had to get to Rey.

An iron bar cracked across his back and he pulled back, taking Seth with him until a pair of metal prongs shot into his skin and every inch of his body was lured into a state of paralysis.

Unable to move, or scream, Seth rolled away as Hux came into view, smirking.

"That will be enough," he glowed over Ben. "It's time to take him to Snoke."

Rey couldn't stop, heaving cries rushed from her lungs as Phasma hissed at her to be quiet, digging the knife until a bead of blood trickled down her throat.

Everything was heightened; the pain, the feeling over people standing around watching her, and Ben…

Ben… Ben… Ben… Tears streamed down her face at the thought of what happened outside the windows. He had come for her, had he died doing it?

There was a rush of noise from the corridor and the door broke open, followed by a black shadow of a body collapsing onto the floor, three tasers hooked into his neck, back and legs.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr Snoke." Hux charged in, chin high and eyes glistening. "He wouldn't stop fighting."

Snoke laughed, a terrible, rumble of sound.

"He never does."

Ben groaned, spit foaming at his mouth, sweat beading down a face stained with blood and dirt.

"Ben," Rey whimpered.

At the sound of her voice, he set his jaw and searched the room until he met her eyes, both relief and fear reflecting at her. Rey froze at the sharp snapping sound a moment before the charge surged through his body, making him go rigid.

"Ben!" Rey jerked forward, impervious to Phasma yanking her head back harder.

Ben gasped between shots, his body freezing and collapsing each time.

"Rey—" he tried to speak, just as the sound of high-voltage currents cracked around them.

"Stop! You're killing him!"

They stopped, but not on Rey's command. Snoke swept down from the window as Ben tried and failed to push himself up.

"You dare come back to me?" Snoke circled Ben before turning to Rey. "Did you think he could save you? He can't even save himself!"

"Weak!" Snoke kicked him in the stomach and Ben curled over in pain. "You're nothing but a child." He kicked him again, this time in the face as Rey cried out and blood began to spill from his forehead.

Ben's eyelids flickered, and he searched for Rey's eyes. What she saw there terrified her more than anything else; the despair of knowing he had failed her, that he had tried to save her — and couldn't.

With cracked and bleeding lips, he mouthed the words, ' I'm sorry.'

She shook her head to stop him from believing Snoke's lies.

He'd done nothing but save her.

It was time somebody saved him.

Snoke stepped away, wiping his hands of the body at his feet. "Again."

Electricity crackled through the air again and Ben went still, the veins popping out of his temples. Despite the screaming in her heart, Rey darted a side-glance at Phasma, who was preoccupied watching the spectacle. If she could turn head enough, maybe she could bite her…

Phasma snapped her gaze back to Rey as if sensing a plan and for a beat, the two women stared at each other. No words were exchanged and their expressions remained the same, like lionesses fighting over a kill… but beneath it all there was a flicker of concern behind Phasma's steel-hard stare, a softening of the brow, lips parting, bordering on a frown, her shoulders slumped and at once Rey understood.

You don't want this.

Rey pressed against the knife gently, Phasma still held it firm against her, but her wrist had loosened like she'd lost the will behind it.

You're a prisoner, like me. Trapped, like Ben.

She pushed forward against the blade again, and like before it remained firm, but moved with Rey. Could she really trust this woman?

The knights stopped their attack, pausing long enough to make sure Ben had a moment to strangle out a pained groan.

Rey's heart was trapped in a vice as she watched him weakly push up on his hands, but they were shaking so hard there was no strength in them.

Snoke's laughter filled the room, but when he turned to face Rey, his laugh faltered. She was standing, the pearl-handled knife in her hands, gaze targeted him with deep concentration. Snoke gaped a moment before she released the blade. Silent and strong, it speared into his neck.

Rey stood on the spot, unable to move as blood spilled down either side of the wound as he stumbled forward, hands searching for the knife speering his throat. Snoke's fingers found the hilt and pulled it from his neck and it dropped to the floor in a loud clang.

Snoke stared at her; confused, angry… impressed, before collapsing to the ground in a heap of gold satin stained with the colour of crimson and rust.

In the silence that followed, the growing sounds of sirens came closer. In a rush of footsteps, Rey heard the knights flee from the scene, while Phasma came and sat over Snoke, stroking his lifeless body.

Rey stared at the knife, lying in a pool of blood. She struggled to breathe, feeling the effects of the drugs once more, she swayed as she bent over and took the knife in her hands, stomach-churning, she looked back at Ben, but he was already there, a trembling hand pressing gently on her shoulder.

"Rey—"

"I—I've never killed somebody before," Rey said hoarsely, the reality of what had passed dawning on her through the drug-infused haze. She held the knife close to her chest.

"It was what he deserved," Phasma spat. Her bitter words were harsh in contrast to the soft way she pressed her hands on Snoke's corpse. Their relationship must have been so tangled with love and hate. She could understand that. We cling to what we know.

"Rey," he whispered again

"I've killed him," she whispered, her voice trembling in a way that made her fear that she was about to fall into a full-blown panic.

"Come away, my love." Ben pulled her back. "We're safe now."

Outside, the source if the sirens had pulled into the street below. There were voices over the loudspeaker, she couldn't make them out. They spoke quickly, red and blue bled across the walls.

The police , her thoughts were catching up with her. The police were here—and she had killed the leader of the First Order.

"Ben, what have I done?" He pulled her into his arms, and she felt consumed by his hold, every part of him closing in around her. Warm lips pressed kisses onto her forehead, kissing away the tears on her cheeks.

"Give me the knife," he whispered, and she felt his fingers curl around her own, forcing them to release. She hesitated, the ancient part of her brain unable to shake the threat.

"Trust me, sweetheart."

She looked up into his face, covered in sweat and dried blood. Her Ben . "You came back for me."

"I'll always come back for you."

With a tearful smile, she released the knife, and he held it away from her, while his left arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her away from the blood-stained room.

They made their way through the brothel for the last time, past the room they had first made love, down the stairs he had once carried her up, and into the foyer where she had first learned about Kylo Ren, the client who didn't want to be hugged or kissed.

Rey clutched to Ben's arm, tightly wound around her like he never wanted to let go.

"We got the drive," Rey whispered as they descended the steps. "Dom's removing all the references to you as we speak."

He stiffened a little in her hold, staring straight ahead, but kept on walking.

"You're free, Ben."

This time he looked down at her, eyes glistening. "Is that why you came back?"

She smiled and shrugged and for a fleeting moment, it was like the sun had risen across his face, two dimples, bright teeth showing behind an irrepressible smile.

"I'll always come back for you too, you know." Her fingers reached up to his face, gently tracing her thumb across his cheek.

Ben looked at her with wonder, his gaze dancing over her face, seeming to take in every part of her, and in his eyes, she understood that no one had ever come back for him.

"If you're quite finished," Phasma huffed. "There are other things to worry about."

There was another order over the loudspeaker as they continued, the foyer's scarlet walls danced with a luminous red that turned into a purple as blue light streaked through gaps in the curtain.

Rey hesitated, pulling back from the door, away from the lights and the voices bleating over the loudspeakers, ordering them to come out with their hands up.

"What's going to happen to me?" she asked, almost childlike, still feeling like she was detached from the situation, floating above it somehow..

Ben's expression was so tender that it was almost enough to phase out Phasma's loud scoff from behind them.

"You just killed one of the most high-profile CEOs in the country. As far as the public knows, he's a fucking saint. What do you think will happen?"

Rey barely noticed Ben's glare back at her, his hair tickled her face as he leant down and whispered into her ear, "I'm with you."

They stood before the door of Crimson Lane and Rey tried to find strength in Ben's arms.

"We're coming out! Don't shoot." Ben shouted at the top of his lungs, and with a sudden kick, the door flung open.

Floodlights hit their faces and Rey squeezed her eyes closed at the intensity, but at that moment, something had changed…

For a second she was thrust forward and pulled back into a firm hold, the familiar blade was back against her throat and instinctually she clawed at the strong arms that had locked against her. Sheer panic overtook her until she heard his voice close behind her.

"Stay back!" Ben shouted. "Stand back or she's dead."

He carried her forward in his hold, and Rey's shock fled her as she realised what was happening.

Before them there was a line of officers, barricaded behind car doors, guns pointed at them.

"No!" she shouted at him, tears streaming down her face. "What are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago." He pulled her in close to him, his vice-lock around her chest the only affection he could leave her with.

"Put down your weapon," the voice blared over the loudspeaker. "Put down your weapon or we will be forced to shoot."

"My name is Kylo Ren. And if you have any idea who I am, you will know that I won't hesitate to slit her throat," he screamed at them, but they didn't move, looking to their superior.

"Come on!" he screamed, drowning out Rey's whimpering pleads for him to stop. "I've just slit Alastair Snoke's neck, you think I'm going to stop there?"

For a moment, the officers hesitated, as one by one, they lowered their weapons.

She felt Ben breathe a sigh of relief behind her.

"I love you," he whispered and then she was thrown out of his hold, falling to the ground, her head smacking against the ground. She blinked, stunned for a moment, feeling like someone had sledgehammered her head. Looking back, the last thing she saw was Ben drop to his knees with his hands behind his head, staring right at her, then a crowd of officers dressed in navy swarmed over him, throwing him against the ground.

"We got male in a critical condition here," another shouted from somewhere inside. "Get the ambulance!"

Rey could barely take in what was going on around her; there were four men on top of Ben, forcing his head to the ground.

"Rey, Rey!" Finn shouted, bursting through the crowd and pulling her into his lap. "I thought you were with Dom."

"Snoke," Rey croaked.

Almost on cue, a stretcher came out, and the limp, pale body of Alastair Snoke brushed past her, sliding the stretcher to an ambulance,

"I'll take him here," a familiar voice herded them over to the ambulance. Rey followed the sound of the voice and saw Phasma dressed in white, directing the crew to load Snoke into the ambulance.

"Stop—" Rey tried to speak, but she could barely hear her own voice above the commotion.

As the doors closed, Phasma looked back at her with a defiant wink, before she slammed the doors shut and the van sped away.

"Phasma!" Rey cried, but at once she began to dry heave, the concoction petrol, shock and drugs overcoming her system. "Phasma…" she croaked again, but consciousness was slipping away from her and even when she heard Ben's shouting her name, she couldn't open her eyes any more.