#psychic reader in North York

[panditshivatejji]

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[chirpingfromthebox]

A Case for Chaos

With team names and logos coming out today(?), I figure I should dust off this ol' draft of mine and beat the clock to submitting my pitch for PWHL Minnesota's team name.

Since I did one for New York I figure I am duty-bound to make a case for my own team as well.

This way if they pick something stupid, I will have solid proof that I could (and did) come up with a better idea.

And, dear readers, I will ride that small sense of superiority until the wheels fall off.

Part 1:

These Options Are Bad

Let's start by killing some of the other options I've heard floated around for all these months.

The Superior.

Everyone in the Twin Cities has a weird obsession with Lake Superior and I do get it: it's pretty amazing. And I too love the north shore. If I were to move out of the cities I would probably dip to Duluth.

But here's the thing: we are just one of the states and provinces bordering the lake. And we are not even close to being the one with the most area connected to it! So it's far from a distinctly Minnesotan thing. And it isn't even connected to the city they actually play in!

In spite of what happened the last time we named a sports team after lakes, I do love the idea of referencing lakes somehow. And yet I still think trying to claim Superior as our own is as silly as a team being called the Atlantic or something.

And if all that wasn't enough, the biggest reason against it is this: if you call yourself "The Superior" and you lose? You look like such an idiot.

"And with that loss the Superior will continue their seven game losing steak."

I mean, look at that. The jokes against you write themselves.

If you lose you sound ridiculous and if you win you sound pompous. It's a lose-lose situation.

The Valkyries.

Even if it's not intentional it seems way too much like an play on Minnesota's football team The Vikings.

As such: automatic disqualification.

The Reign.

I get it. Purple is a historically royal color. There's the whole Purple Rain play on words from Minnesota native Prince's 1984 movie/album/song. It's clever.

And more importantly it actually works with their prechosen color of purple, which is honestly a hard one to match.

I love wordplay too much to be mad if they went for it. But once again: the loftier your name is the more you sound like an idiot if you lose.

If you went on a losing streak someone on the playground call you the "reigning losers."

And that's just a wicked burn.

The Frost / The Freeze.

I've heard this one floated around since those teaser pictures dropped. But I stand firm that "The Minnesota Freeze" sounds like some sort of Midwest twist on a sno-cone.

It will not get me hyped, it will make just make me want a treat.

The Monarchs.

The Monarch butterfly is the state butterfly. The word can also mean royalty. Purple is a royal color. I see what they're doing here.

But Monarch butterflies are Orange.

Having that on a team with Purple jerseys would constantly give me psychic damage.

(listen, this is my post and I will disqualify things under whatever criteria I want, okay?)

The Grey Ducks.

Honestly? I can't say I don't like it. It's silly so no big league team would pick it. But I like silly things!

People not from around here probably don't get it, but for some reason or another Minnesota seems to be the only state that plays the child's game Duck, Duck, Grey Duck, while everyone else plays Duck, Duck, Goose.

You all already know what I'm going to say here though, right?

Grey is not Purple.

It's weird. It bugs me. And for that reason: No thank you.

Part 2:

Chaos Reigns

With some of the things I don't want out of that way, let's get to what I do want.

My choice for team name would be:

The Minnesota Chaos.

I love this one.

I think it's a strong word. It sounds really cool while also sounding fun. It's a primordial concept, something that was here since the beginning and will be here after the end.

And it's fitting.

Minnesota was all over the place this inaugural season (and post season). They truly could not be predicted. They traded their 2nd round draft pick mid-season. Despite only needing a single point to clench the playoffs they instead went on a massive losing streak at the end of the season, got in anyway, lose two more games, and then reverse sweep to make it into the playoffs? Friggin' wild stuff.

And the great thing about Chaos? It works if you're winning or losing. Chaos can be something strong and it can be something weak. So you sound great no matter how you're doing.

And you've already learned I'm weird about colors, so does purple work here as a color?

Yes!

Your tagline could be "Chaos Reigns" and cash in on that royalty angle. And purple is also often associated with mysticism and magic, and those things have a very chaotic vibe to them if you ask me.

And you know what? There's just a lot of weird fun you can have with chaos.

Part 3:

Getting Weird With It

I personally hate mascots, because costumed characters make me uneasy and I don't know how to interact with them. However, there's some fun you could have with this.

Like the mascot could have one name, but then have like 3 or 4 different mascot costumes and every home game roll a die to determine which mascot is used that day.

Heck, pick up as many different mascot costumes as you can find and use a different one every time. Mix and match pieces from different costumes.

Maybe a mascot from an entirely different team would show up instead? Who knows! But it would be weird good fun seeing who the mascot for the day was.

Look! T.C. Bear is here in a Chaos jersey. Why? Why not?!

Likewise I would sell some merch with the logo spot blank so people could sew in whatever random thing they wanted.

(They would never go for this though, because people hate extra work and the league would want to have a distinct identity to sell their product. But once again this is my post and I can dream whatever silly things I want!)

I doodled out some possible logo ideas, but I can't nail down one I love. But I like the idea of maybe doing some sort of riff on a butterfly symbol to have a chaos theory connection?

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Anyways, I've got a million more ridiculous ideas for why this would be a fun idea and I could go on and on. But I'll save y'all from further silliness.

Thank you for sticking around for this silly post. And happy name day to us all. Hopefully we got some goods ones?

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