#psyche delic

[shibaleeart]

Part 3/3 of putting FFXIV classes on Izaya alts (Parts 1 and 2 here)

🪭Dancer Psyche and Machinist Virus 138 🔫

[canisalbus]

This Piece is easily my favorite you've ever done, I think about it so often. The soft hazey feeling, the cozy feeling of the bed, the pure gaze of Vasco, AGH.

So I just had to make a Moodboard of it, I hope you enjoy.

.

[itspileofgoodthings]

every day I think of CS Lewis talking about how you never know what’s going to set someone off and about how when he was a teenager he fell in instantaneous love with this girl who was putting up party decorations and said “don’t you just love the smell of bunting” while sticking her face in the bundle of it she was holding

[axyo]

whatever these things are

[shippymerch]

Hi y’all I know I haven’t been here in forever but is anyone ready for a Shizaya merch reveal??

✨ Ta-Da ✨

I offer you a manu video of the Psyche/Delic mini CD charms I got made 🤩

I’ve been pretty quiet on socmed while working on multiple projects, and this is one of them! It’ll still be a wait for these babies to reach me, but I’m vibrating with anticipation to have them in my hands 🤲 They’re so smol & I think they came out pretty cute. The backside design is my take on the portable record player Delic carries:

These mini CDs are 1 of 3 Shizaya merch items I have in production right now. The others are not as far along yet but please do stay tuned 👀

[gyokutoll]

I shouldn’t be typing this up on mobile after my work out but fuck it we ball. Dash talk inspired me to discuss the types of men Hotaru likes and I’m rolling the thoughts around in my head like a marble because I’m not sure if there’s actually a good word, or series of traits for it.

I don’t really believe Hotaru has any aesthetic preferences. Maybe sharper features comes to mind but that’s so? It’s such a non-thing nor something he really thinks about. Because Hotaru is frequently judged for his appearance due to his work, he’s not inclined to judge others by their appearance. Especially not after Sadao. He knows that appearances are deceiving and just because someone looks like what you’d want doesn’t mean that they actually are.

So that’s where I really struggle to verbalize Hotaru’s type. I think his type is rooted somewhere in stability. This isn’t even necessarily meaning mentally stable nor having a full time job or anything like that. Which is even weirder to try and explain. By stability, I mean rooted in something. Whether it be a belief, a conviction, a cause. There has to be something a man needs to anchor himself to. It can be tangible like a career or intangible like an idea or principle, even if morally ambiguous. Hotaru doesn’t see himself as a person worth loving, and this low self esteem and belief that humans are inherently self-serving fuels this flexibility in his type.

Hotaru isn’t above developing feelings for someone who does illegal things which is insane when you consider that Hotaru is just Some Guy. Horaru also doesn’t have the expectation that he’ll be romantically loved in any meaningful way, and because of that, he’s more inclined to fall for someone on the basis of sincerity and earnestness. They don’t need to be morally perfect or even socially acceptable, but if there’s a genuine care there, he’s willing to overlook a lot.

And it begs the question of whether or not this makes him saintly, desperate, or self-loathing. I think the most important component of being a saint is being a martyr, if you understand what I’m getting at. I think it can be all of those things at once.

Hotaru also isn’t closeted or shy about admitting that he’s gay. I’m not going to get into the long winding road of queer history, especially not one pertinent to a culture I myself don’t necessarily belong to. But I will say that there are countless sources which cite hook ups as prevalent in the culture amongst gay men. Hotaru partook in this culture years ago and burnt himself out on it. I bring this up because it makes dating other men very difficult when going to bars because a lot of times it’s to take the edge off. The unfortunate reality is that Hotaru has slept with men with wives and girlfriends and men who didn’t want anything from him except for a night.

Hotaru isn’t inclined to try gay bars again due to that and because the time he did landed him with Sadao. It’s a very complex situation with decades of communal trauma and the limbo of rights and representation in a country like Japan.

Hotaru has no expectation of romance and has a host of intimacy issues that I think makes his type very nebulous. Hotaru is past the age where aesthetic is a concern of his and he’s almost sort of. Post conventional morality. Again, I’m tired from my work out and don’t know how eloquent I am in explaining this. There are a lot of cultural nuances here in the culture of gay men and not only gay men, but Japanese culture that requires at least 12 cited sources and a Japanese sociologist with an emphasis in LGBTQIA+ study lmao. I’m almost half debating if I want to start citing things for these more sociologically-oriented analyses so it doesn’t seem like I’m talking out of my ass.

But it’s all to say that, due to the culture and trauma that Hotaru bears, he does not carry this inherent expectation of acceptance. He is used to being an object of desire due to his work and the fact that he’s still young and beautiful. But he’s tired of being an object of desire and rather wants to be desired and known and accepted in sincerity, which does not lend itself to an aesthetic type or even the conventional classes of person we come to expect in romantic conversations.

I really need to shut up because I’m getting so technical and in the weeds here you’d reasonably think I’m doing circuitry, but Hotaru reads as sex and romance positive ace, which already fundamentally changes his relationship to the idea of romance as opposed to other people not on that spectrum.

It ultimately results in someone who interfaces with romance and potential romantic candidates differently. This isn’t even to say that Hotaru doesn’t want love and is above it, but rather to say that the complexities of his trauma, employment, sexuality, and intimacy crisis beneath capitalism result in a person with a more conceptual type than any solid image that can be constructed.

[hawkeish]

dramatically posting about how terrible your writing is (when it’s ok, actually) is the mind-killer SO

writers

reply/reblog/whatever telling me how you manage self-doubt and self-criticism

[general-sleepy]

Okay, Unsane, congratulations on being the first movie to make me stop partway through not because I was bothered morally (Africa Addio and Conjuring 3 did that) or bored (countless) but because I was legitimately too upset and frightened to continue.

[katyspersonal]

I just really, really need more time to get myself together mentally and physically. This winter has been hell to the point even positive experiences are a stress. Just.. don't lose me guys ok? There are just too many things on my mind, more than I can explain even in the longest posts.

[aeide-thea]

you would think that actively wanting to look masc would deactivate yr reflexive '😔 at being unfeminine' reaction but, alas,

[shibaleeart]

Izaya Orihara (Psyche ver) in my Second Life avi's lastest outfit ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

[oyasumillie]

Her 🖤

Something I made for the funsies

[axyo]

i miss this little freakazoid

[aquitainequeen]

I always thought this concept of Hell was quite interesting:

[gianlucacrugnola]

Pink Floyd - Delicate Sound Of Thunder

Ci sono artisti, dischi o semplicemente canzoni che subiscono la storia, il suo corso e l’inevitabile susseguirsi degli eventi, allo stesso tempo c’è chi con i propri lavori, le proprie liriche riesce a riprenderla, trasfigurarla, renderla più piacevole o più cruda, meno scontata, alterando atmosfere e sentimenti di chi vive questi tempi, di chi cerca una fuga nella musica, nell’arte in generale.…