#ps i honestly don't remember the previous ask and I can't find it on my blog

[finnlongman]

Hello, I'm the anon that asked about the Diarmuid and Grainne tale before and you gave such a great answer that I felt like it was safe to maybe send you an ask again? I've read more into the Ulster and Fenian tales and also came across the comparison between Diarmuid/ Grainne and Tristan/Isolde (a lot actually). Does that hold any evidence? Did the Tristan take evolve from Diarmuids story? I was thinking about maybe it up on JSTOR but you're definitely the less intimidating option. Have a great day

So, with the huge caveat that I am not a specialist in fíanaigecht material and also not an expert on Tristan material, this question did come at the only time when I might be able to answer it, because I literally read an article today about this topic. Having said that, I am still extremely not an expert!

First of all, I will say that this has definitely been a topic of discussion in academic scholarship on these texts. What the current consensus is on whether one text is drawing on the other, I can be less confident asserting, because I haven't read a lot of the scholarship on this topic. Although I'm not working on this topic directly, I'm currently looking substantially at the relationship between Arthurian romances and Early Modern* Irish texts (a category to which Diarmait & Gráinne belongs, although I'm working on the Ulster Cycle, so it's not in my corpus), so it's probably something I'll find myself coming back to. It's a very muddy area though -- although Arthurian scholars are often very ready to attribute details to the "Celtic" origins of a story and therefore imply that any similarities mean an Irish or Welsh text is the original blueprint, in this case, the surviving texts are late enough that you get a lot of influence coming back in from French and English sources via the Anglo-Normans and Ireland's general literary contact with the outside world.

When looking for articles on this kind of topic, JSTOR may be able to help, but I tend to find it's a bit limited for Irish material because so many articles and chapters in our field haven't been digitised. Which is a huge disadvantage. However, there are a few ways around this, at least in terms of identifying material (not so much getting access to it). I ran a search for tristan on BILL, the Bibliography of Irish Language & Literature, to see what had been published on the topic recently (but not super recently because BILL tends to be a few years behind with recent publications).

From there, I found Marie-Luise Theuerkauf's 2017 article in The Matter of Britain in Medieval Ireland: reassessments (Irish Texts Society Subsidiary Series 29, ed. John Carey): 'Tristan and early modern Irish romances: James Carney’s Ur-Tristan revisited.' This is a useful place to start. At least, it's where I started while reading today!

In this article, she discusses James Carney's controversial attempts (in the 1950s) to reconstruct an insular "ur-text" of the Tristan story that would have served as the source for later texts. In this study, Carney identifies a number of Irish texts that share motifs with Tristan stories, among them Tóruigheacht Dhiarmada agus Ghráinne. TDG probably dates to the thirteenth or fourteenth centuries, although the earliest manuscript of the text is from the seventeenth century. However, Carney believed that the original story underlying it dated to around 900, and therefore he can count it among his early, pre-Tristan texts.

It's true that there were definitely earlier versions of the story, since the (descriptive) title of one is found in tale lists: "The Elopement of Gráinne with Diarmaid". The text itself is lost, though, so we only have the title. Theuerkauf notes that "this proves that the love triangle story of Diarmaid, Gráinne and Fionn was known at a date anterior to the earliest Continental Tristan texts, we cannot automatically assume that the Aithed Gráinne story in exactly the same way as the Tóruigheacht does." In other words, a lot of the very specific motifs and similarities that the two texts share might be later, so which direction the influence is in becomes very muddy -- does Tristan get it from Diarmaid, or the other way around? Or do they both draw on a shared source? Or are they coincidental/more general folklore motifs from a common stock?

Theuerkauf cautions: "While it may be tempting to focus on the similarities which exist between the Tóruigheacht and Tristan, this focus has tended to lead to an over-simplification of the nature of the source material" and comments that although they're "very much alike in theme, they are often very different in execution or intent". She finishes by concluding that Carney is wrong about most things, if not everything, and introduces for consideration another 15th-century Irish text with close correspondences to the Tristan stories.

Another scholar who has worked on the relationship between the Tristan stories and the Irish material is Raymond J. Cormier. His article "Open Contrast: Tristan and Diarmaid" in Speculum 51/4 is available on JSTOR. I haven't read this one myself yet, but it looks based on Theuerkauf's citations that he tends to be quite critical of the connections between the two; among his criticisms is the fact that the late date of the surviving Irish texts means influences can enter directly from the French material, so shared motifs don't necessarily mean shared sources or Irish origins for those details.

He's also written about connections between Tristan narratives and the Naoise/Deirdre story, so looking at the love triangle motif in another Irish text. I haven't read this article yet, but it's here, if it's of interest (not sure if paywalled or not, sorry, I'm on institutional WiFi right now so it's bypassing all of that!)

Another article that looks valuable on this topic is Joseph Falaky Nagy, "Tristanic, Fenian, and lovers’ leaps" in Diasa díograise: aistí i gcuimhne ar Mháirtín Ó Briain (2009). Unfortunately, I can tell you nothing about this article because this book is not available to me. I have actually just requested that my library buy it because a couple of the other articles in there are relevant to me, but that means I can't advise on its contents yet!

Nagy has another article on the topic, 'The Celtic "Love Triangle" Revisited', in An XIV Comhdháil Idirnáisiúnta sa Léann Ceilteach, Maigh Nuad 2011: Imeachtaí (Dublin, 2015). Again, I have not read this one (although it looks like my library does actually have it), but it's also cited in Theuerkauf's article and sounds like it could be helpful.

I don't know if this answered your question at all, as I feel like the general vibe of what I just gave you was "ehh well they're definitely similar but the question is Why they're similar and that's more complicated" (ain't that always the way). But hopefully it might give you some sources to follow up on. I'm sorry I can't provide direct links to more of these -- the lack of open access and digitised scholarship in this field is a challenge.

*A point of terminology just to clarify in case anyone was confused: 13th-14th century may not sound "Early Modern" if you're used to thinking in purely historical terms, but linguistically, when it comes to Irish material this label tends to start from about 1300 (and obviously, being found in 17th century manuscripts positions this tale more solidly in the early modern period anyway).

[hiveswap]

so,, I just finished watching TMA, like, as I'm writing this.

"Good Luck." Holy shit.what a way to end a series huh? Well, 'Oh... Hello' turns me away from a series end but.

I wasn't ready. For any of it. For Helen's death, kids was hoping she'd stick around, well. Till she tried to trap Jon-

And god- walking through the fears- the statements- mixed with my very vivid imagination, almost, almost felt like I was there- terrifying. But. In a way, nice. Definetly helped with my nyctophobia.

And- I still need to rewatch the Home animation, it was the very first peice of content I saw for it. Back in 2021. Two years ago, honestly back then I thought it was a Disney - I'm not joking! I thought it was Disney.

This. I've gotten more people to listen to it! That's always exciting! Been using the Tim's Explosive personality- but- well you should've warned me that Georige and Melanie had one too! In a doffrent way then Tim but still!

And goodness- Martin, I didn't expect him to have a domain- but it made so much sence! With him being an Avatar of the Lonely and all.

And yknow what, thank you Hiveswap, I remember in the ofrst ask I sent, I said you were the one who got me to listen to The Magnus Archives, and I thank you for that- I mean I can't look at the world normally again- everywhere I turn its another entity, there was a fucking infestation of ants on (one) of my hammocks today, it was my favorite one too :< but that is very Corruption. And yet, I don't know, it's genuinely, really, helped me process my own fears, yeah there still there but, it's not as bad as before, The Dark episodes helped me out woth my nyctophobia, especially when they passed through the Domain! I just, thank you Jenna, for the amazing journey.

Ps: just before sending this through I listened to The Magnus Protocol Kickstarter and I gotta say, Sidequel is an AMAZING word.

Hello!! Oh that Home animation is amazing i can see how you thought it was made by professionals. I remember telling you the "tim has am explosive personality" joke omg it's been a while. About georgie and melanie. Well at least they didn't literally explode

I'm so happy you enjoyed it, and yeah no one is ever ready for that ending and I was so messed up over what happened with Helen near the end too. I even named a captured enderman after her before the episode relased...

I actually didn't like s5 all that much for the same reason you said, it was far more brutal than the previous stuff and i was so scared about martin's domain when we found out about it, but it fit him really well i think.

Welcome to the fandom, the finding entities irl thing is never gonna go away or get old. See you when the magnus protocol begins bc i just know that everyone is going to be thrown right back into the fandom :D

[babyeijra]

Socially Anxious INFJ Introvert

January 22, 2021

Okay, so it’s been a while since I last made an entry in this blog

I feel like I had to write something about what happened today because I wanted to get over something that I know will bug me if I don’t vent it or say anything about it.

I have always known that I have social phobia. Even without being clinically tested or what do you call it, psychological testing or diagnosis from a professional(?), I know I have social anxiety. I just don’t know what degree, but I know it’s there. Since elementary and high school, I was a quiet kid. I never speak unless spoken to, I don’t even interact with relatives, cousins, or strangers I just met. I have always been like that. I was afraid to be called in class, I get mental blocks when I get called even when I know the answer (this really happened), that’s why I don't participate in class recitations, and activities (unless forced). If I get called, my mind blanks, my heart pounds so hard, and I could feel the blood rush through my whole body and to my brain. Then if I stutter, I feel like I don’t know what I was saying, l feel like I’m being laughed at secretly and I would think of it hours, even days after what happened. And I learned that by writing it and reading more about my condition, and reading from other people’s (with social anxiety) experiences, that’s when I could get past one mistake or move on from my shame. When I read that there are others just like me and have experienced what I went through or going through, is only when I could move on from ONE mistake. But then, until when am I going to be like this? I honestly thought I got passed this social anxiety. That what I had was just acute social phobia, nothing too serious, that I will not experience anxiety to my adulthood, that I could now proceed of dreaming to be a lawyer since I passed high school, college, and now a CPA working in the government. I got passed a lot of interviews when I was just trying to find work as a fresh graduate. I thought, maybe nervousness during interviews, or presentations is just normal?

But now that I think about it, I had always needed days, even weeks of preparation and practice to get passed simple interviews. I had always had sleepless nights thinking of the days of interview. In high school I had always needed to study 5 times, even 10 times harder just so I wouldn’t get left behind, because I lack class participation. I always though I was stupid or stupidest person in class, I had always envied my classmates who can get through being called and being made to stand to answer and yet giving the wrong answer, because they seem like they were answering a question like it’s nothing, being called to stand is nothing, reporting in front of class is nothing, speaking and interacting with others is nothing. But for me, it’s not a simple “nothing”. I would think about it, I would remember my embarrassment when I stutter, or get mental blocks and gave the wrong answer, I would remember the judging stares (my mind probably had created).

I could recount, even today, how my high school English teacher, embarrassed me had called me to answer the last question, in front of everyone. The previous questions I had mentally answered and got them all right, after they were discussed or when my classmates had got it also right after they were called to answer. It was coincidental or I don’t know, that the last question was given to me. I had already made up my mind on the answer to the last question before being called. But when I was called, I don’t know what happened. My mind went black, and every symptoms of a social anxious person (from what I read from others’ experiences), I had really felt. I missed to give the right answer which I had already made up before. It just went away, I tried many times and I still had given a different answer, During that time, I really forgot what I answered in my head.  Didn’t I say, I went blank? And so this teacher made it worse by saying,  “If you got the highest score in the exam, you have to prove it, otherwise I would think you cheated” (nonverbatim). Okay now that I think about it, was she allowed to say that to a student? (I want to know the answer to this). I felt embarrassed then, but no one can deny the fact, that I did get the highest score on her exam. I really studied hard (like five times hard) and I listened well in class in high school and not because I wanted to compete with others, but I really had an interest to learn, and I also thought I was stupid and might fail (because of my lack of participation) that’s why I had to recoup by studying. I had the lowest self confidence and self esteem then. It was the lowest of the low. Surprisingly, actually, I graduated high school as salutatorian, and I dreaded it. I never wanted to be salutatorian. I never want to make a speech in front of many people, on the stage in an open space, at the University Quadrangle. I thought, maybe I’ll just get the “1st honorable mention” (3rd in the batch) or even 5th place, because I knew, what would pull me down (even though I sometimes or often times get the highest scores in exams and quizzes; Math, Science, Physics, and others included. Okay maybe except Filipino) was my lack of participation.

But yeah. Surprised? I was the salutatorian? Although it made me proud after I learned this from our class adviser (also our trigonometry teacher), but the next second I felt was, dread. “Oh shoot! I had to make a speech. I had to speak in front of everyone!”. Did you know, I even cried inside the Teacher’s room, in front of all the teachers, when we, I and another classmate who was the valedictorian, was asked to rehearse our speech in front of them? I was so nervous, I was crying while I was trying to speak (and the tears were not happy tears). I was so nervous that it made me cry. Can you imagine that? And you know what, the teachers actually thought? That I was crying because of happy tears, but I said to them, it’s because, “Gina kulbaan ako”(I’m really nervous). I should tell you, that when I said “crying”, I was spasm-sobbing (you know that sound you make when you cry, you get breathing spasms or hiccups) and had runny nose. I was a mess inside that teacher’s room. When I got out, my valedictorian classmate asked, “Ngaa nag hibi ka?” (Why did you cry). Yup, this happened. I need not relay to you what happened during the graduation. It would take up the time. Oh yeah!, I tried to think of ways to skip delivering the Salutatory Speech, like searching “how to get colds” so my voice will get coarse. I guess I would say, I never want to experience that (Salutatory Speech) again! And I had more also experiences in college. Like when we had to stand in front of the Audio Visual Room. And recite a (I think it was a long poem or verse). I was able to memorize it, but when I got in front. Well, you guessed it. I panicked and had a mental block. *sigh*

Wow, I actually made a long entry about my high school experiences as a Socially Anxious INFJ Introvert. I haven’t even gotten work experience yet. Huh!

I guess I need to let everyone first know the struggle of being a Socially Anxious Introvert from childhood experience POV, or what one feels like when speaking in front of everyone. So please, don’t judge this entry. What happened today, during our online Legal research class was, we had an oral exam about a hearing observation we had of a case. It was the easiest question by our Professor (who is a MCTC Judge) I think out of everyone’s. But I wasn’t prepared for the easiest question. I prepared for different questions and not the one she asked. So yeah, I blanked, stuttered and I guess and most probably flunked. Now you may be asking. Why did I enter Law School if I have a Social Anxiety? If you really read everything above, you’ll get the answer.

PS, I used at least 2 and a half hours of writing this entry. I have final exams next week. But I know I really couldn’t concentrate if all I think about was what happened 3 hours ago. I wanted to move on from a mistake and embarrassment. I really feel like and did sound stupid answering that SIMPLE question.

Now, what do you think? Should I give up Law School? Or try and conquer my fears in Law School? Do I even have a chance? Do you think I’m being brave? or being stupid for taking up Law but can’t even speak properly.

Any answer from anonymous person will be appreciated. Even if it’s a discouraging answer. I should accept the truth, whatever truths there would be. When I said, “don’t judge” I don’t mean it. Judge all you want really. It is the fact of the world. We even do it unconsciously.

PSS (is there such?), I have found a site (just now, while looking for pictures) that also talks about dealing with Social Anxiety in Law School (http://www.thelegalduchess.com/2018/08/dealing-with-social-anxiety-in-law.html). So I guess I’m not the only one. (by Sam Smith lol, unrelated content but still a good song). 

Will take time to read it. But, I need to study after this entry. (ugh! 😖The horror, I have a lot to cover for the finals and I have wasted so much time). I feel a lot better after writing this. So I guess it was not wasted time after all.

PPS: 12:17 am more than 4 hrs since my bad recit. I still can't concentrate. I have now been watching youtube about moving on from bad recits. I still cringe everytime I remember it, quite often. That's why I dont think I can remember what I read. Also, I'm writing this because I remember something. Studying harder is now 10 times harder to do in law school, especially if you are a full time, full load, working student. I couldn't prepare well for the next class, and I couldn't prepare for all possible questions as a Socially Anxious INFJ Introvert (which means all questions my mind could think of, because like I said, there'd be no time). And what makes it more embarrassing and humiliating, I have a classmate who is also a coworker (she's in a different work group) and her husband is also my coworker in the same work group.