#prolly why the rest of him is such a mess as well haha

[peacockrulz]

youre so right about narration!! i could go on all day really, its the biggest thing for me that takes a fic from good to great, especially with characters like j- characters with a persona of sorts, characters that lie to themselves or are in denial, or characters with a lot they need to sort through, and j is sort of all three in some capacity. i cannot wait for hostile takeover to update! if you ever decide to try writing a fic id love to give it a read! ive noticed you have a lot of interesting ideas about characters and their dynamics through your fanart, something i think could translate to writing well. you also clearly have an understanding of what makes a fic good- though i know from experience its often easier said than done. still, id love to see you try! this is actually my first time rp-ing canon characters, ever. right now im playing j (thanks hostile takeover) in a discord server, though i might try n soon because i reaaallly struggle with characterizing him. ive been roleplaying my whole life really! i started with roblox warrior cats though... im shuddering with you id kill for more dollxn art from you though. no pressure but you get them it seems. its been a while since i listened to final girl but its definitely their song suggestive lyrics or not i hope they die and go to robo-hell together <3 - juzi anon

*sigh* putting this under a readmore because HOO BOY did I maybe went full analyzer on this one. thanks for your time Juzi Anon <3

I've read alotta fics in my time on the internet and honestly? I don't think I've ever read a fic that hooked me on a character narration quite like Hostile Takeover's J. J's awareness of every part of what shes doing and how shes doing it makes it even more subtle when you realize that despite all of that, she has so little awareness over what she thinks. Like she doesn't question it. Uzi's narration makes a point to show how she censors her own thoughts, she doesn't allow her mind to wander to certain parts of the past, shes completely aware of how some thoughts sound and decides against saying it all together. Meanwhile, J will go on and on about how much better the job would be without V's constant talking back and N's inability to do anything right, and in the same paragraph be constantly thinking about the argument with V, and what got V so messed up to begin with. J is like a rock, a precipice of confidence. But the moments where she doesn't know what to do, (like when she thought she was going to die in that church tower from the rising sun) its almost like she has to put on appearances even in a moment where shes completely panic-ed, that she still somehow has to pretend she knows what shes doing, even with no one around. Its why the fic made me rethink J in general, I've loved J for while but Hostile Takeover was the first time I actually was able to SEE what J could be as a character story. It really puts into perspective how important narration can be in telling a damn good story. (Sorry this became a J paragraph. I could analyze fics for the rest of my life and be happy lol)

Haha maybe one day I'll finally sit down and write. I'm not really the greatest at translating my thoughts to text, for some reason its easier for me to illustrate my feelings about a character then to write it out. The only reason I can draw fanart like that is because I analyze these characters to death lol. Looking at all the angles of two characters and then asking the question of 'what would it take for them to be on friendly terms' is a pass time I indulge it frequently!!!! Thats why I like rarepairs, sometimes they're dynamics are alot more unique than most, even if they're 2 characters that have never once canonically interacted (which is my favorite. Alot more creative thinking with that one yknow?) Still, maybe I'll get to it :O (prolly would practice writing analysis post first. because I always have to stop myself from doing it on other posts XP)

I've also grew up on roleplaying (my brother is into roleplaying and that got me started on it lol) used to roleplay on roblox even before I could read (which. isn't a joke actually. who gives a 5 year old unrestricted internet access???) funnily enough I can't even say I ever completely grew out of it, I still visit alot of roleplay maps on roblox (including WCUE!! never actually roleplayed there but I think its fun to spec) but mainly I used to roleplay on animal-based mmos like FeralHeart in my younger days.

Iffff,,, I could say anything about N's character,,, to hopefully help inspire some ability to write him (and sorry this gets its own paragraph) I would probably say that he is a very self-destructively selfless person, whos never gotten over anything or anyone in his life (I.e when V was in stasis during their time in the manor, N constantly visited her and would draw pictures of the two of them together ((as lizards)) and is kinda implied to have been reading books to her during this time. Even after getting 'digitally lobotomized', while N couldn't exactly remember V as he knew her back then, he still carried that affection he had for her all that time ago. He never stopped caring about V, even when he forgot) while I wouldn't describe N as in anyway 'innocent' or 'naive', N still has a habit of unconditionally caring about pretty much anybody lol. He had like, what, a 27 minute conversation with Uzi? And while it wasn't enough to completely convince him, it still was something that made him hesitate ("I really enjoyed our time together,"). And while I'm here (having mentioned Uzi) I would also say N is a very lonely character, seeing as he was often belittled by his peers (J) or in some cases completely ignored (V, but she had her reasons and thats a different discussion) a funny part of N's character is just how much he IS like Uzi. A person completely isolated by his kind because of how he is, who was never given an explanation as to why, why everyone is so oddly cruel to him. The biggest difference though being that N never fought it, he completely accepted getting knocked around if it meant he could stick around. It took someone else to point out how fucked his situation was to make him think twice about it. Uzi is the type of character to go down kicking screaming and punching(asterisk but thats also a different discussion), and N, despite being in such a similar place to her, isn't that kind of guy. While I wouldn't say N is the type to take everything lying down, there is something to say about just how much he is willing to take before getting angry, yknow? Overall, I think N is a very loving, loyal-to-a-fault, kinda guy, but his compassion for those around him is often times the reason he gets so tunnel-visioned in the first place (i.e causing explosions and throwing rocks and debris everywhere in a mass, angry panic, trying to go save V.) and its why he is so willing to get himself hurt in the first place. ("I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.") (Or yknow, cutting his arm off, but thats alot less selfless-ness and alot more self destruction) His patience and understanding is one of his biggest strengths and somehow always the reason he gets hurt. Basically I think he need to go a lil insane as a treat.

((Oh its also good to note that his unconditional love for everyone around him is also the only reason why he has lived this far to begin with (the characters this includes: V, Uzi, AND Cyn.)))

I also think the above, is the reason why I enjoy NxDoll so much. it takes SO MUCH for him to hate someone and yet Doll did the one thing that would make him do it (hurting someone he cares about the most). I just knoooowwww if they saw eachother in that church it would've been ON. That fight would've taken out the whole god damn BUILDING. it would be two people fighting for the exact same fkcing reason!!! REVENGE!!! the horrible chain of trauma contuines with them!!! killing one will only leave the other with what remains!!!! And yet I also see them as two people who would really benefit from being on friendlier terms. Both becasue N's softness is just not something we ever see Doll treated with, and because Doll's avocation for justice might just be the thing N needs to get a god damn backbone for once and earn himself some self-appreciation.

But I also think its more fun when its enemies AND lovers.

They should make eachother worse <3

[messedupessy]

SAY HELLO TO LUCEM AND NOCTEM (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ❤

Alright so, these are two boys I been fooling around with for awhile, haven’t worked on them for awhile but I went and finished Noctem, the second boy, I am not even sure if these two are or should even be like a UT au or not, it’s currently up for debate since they are so far from it, but they were supposed to so yeah we shall see xD anyway, these are just their current designs, as I am not too happy with how they look, especially Noctem as it’s not how I want it, while Lucem is pretty much done give or take, but yeah these are not the final designs and will be updated in the future!

Before I go into more details about these two under a cut, because it will probably be long knowing me, so do I want to give a shoutout to @dreemurr-skelememer and @wishingstarinajar, as I was very inspired by two of their boys when it comes to these two, especially when it comes to Lucem, and I wanna give credit where credit is due, so go and give those two some love and a follow as they make amazing stuff and are really great people! ❤

Alright, so. Before I go into details, again, I just want to admit that yes I was slightly inspired by dream/tale, what with the whole one light and one dark brother that are like sort of godly and stuff like that, in fact these two happened all because I was like “what if I made my own take on dream and made him a total shitty bastard.”, which then led me down the road of hey fuck snases I’mma make them only Papyruses because hey we need more so called powerful Papyruses and stuff like that, and things just evolved from there until I ended up here, where it has become nothing like dream/tale but it’s own thing, with the only similarity is that one brother is all light and stuff and the other is dark and stuff, but that’s where the resemblance ends. 

Heck I am not even sure if I should call this a UT au or not, since these two got pretty much nothing to do with the original material in any way or is based on any like au version except for like my style of drawing Papyruses, but that’s something I will have to figure out later on, as currently I am too unsure what I want to do, but now time for what you guys are actually interested in, the actual boys and what the fuck is going on with them, some things below will probably change as I get a better understanding about them and stuff, but for now this is what I got:

Lucem and Noctem are twins, technically identical as if you made Noctem’s bones white and changed his markings he would look identical to Lucem, same height even as Lucem is just wearing heels, they both also go by He/them pronouns as since they are technically some sort of deities they don’t need genders and because I say so, but both go by he most of the time.

They are both some sort of deity, some sort of mythical creature, beings with allot of power, maybe demons, I am not sure what exactly they are supposed to be, but what I do know is that they are kind of like vampires in a way, because yes these boys got fangs, which aren’t showing as Lucem isn’t smiling properly and Noctem’s got his mouth mostly closed, but they are there and they need to feed to survive properly. 

Lucem needs to feed on happiness, on happy, good feelings, while Noctem needs to feed on sad, so called bad feelings, as otherwise they will weaken and die. They are technically immortal as they can’t die by age, but they could probably get killed, but I am unsure about the get killed part at the moment, maybe if they are very weak first, but either way they need to feed on certain emotions to survive. And since they are like mythical kinda beings in a way, and feeding on people’s emotions probably isn’t the best thing to do, so do they live secluded far away from society, haven’t decided how their home looks like or even if they maybe live in some sort of pocket dimension thing, but they live far away from people, and really only go out to feed which they have always been so very careful of doing.

Noctem is very happy with this life, he is a massive loner and enjoys the secluded life, Lucem not so much. As years goes by Lucem slowly but surely kind of loses it, as why should he be locked up and hide when he can do so many things, he can make people so happy as that is also one of their powers, they can make people either so very happy or so very sad, which helps with their feeding, but it’s not really a good thing to do as they can make people overload with either emotion, so much that they will literally die.

Lucem ends up leaving, wanting to be free and literally bathe the world in light, in his light, as he is a arrogant prick who thinks he should pretty much rule the world and everyone should treat him like a god. But he hides that part of himself so very well, his whole thing is that he seems to be this godly priest like man, who is so nice and helps people, when in reality he is such a fucking bastard and don’t give a shit, all he cares about is making everyone happy so he can feed on said happiness, he don’t care if he overloads people, he is a bit of a cult leader kind of guy whose sole mission is to overflood the whole world in this messed up happiness which will feed him and let him be free, he is a bit deranged but hides it well.

I just really wanted to make him into the ultimate bastard, while he appears not to be. His design is also slightly based on that uh swap dream I have seen around? the dream snas with wings and fucked up eyes, as Lucem kinda got the same thing that his eyes when he opens them properly you can see something is so not right with him, he is just seriously messed up and a dick and I love him. He is so not a good person as I wanted to truly make a really bad Papyrus so to speak haha, as there aren’t that many out there pft, so yeah he a piece of shit, manipulative af etc. 

Noctem on the other hand, he is a grumpy man who just wants to live alone in seclusion with his brother, he is very unhappy about the fact Lucem has left him, unhappy about the happy life he had with his twin is ruined all because Lucem couldn’t be sated with the life they had. So he is very, very done with his brothers bullshit, and is also very aghast about the shit he is pulling as he is like ruining the balance of the world kinda deal in a way, as there can’t be too much light, too much happiness, just as there can’t be too much darkness, too much sadness etc, as otherwise things will get fucked up, but Lucem doesn’t give a fuck about that.

So eventually Noctem goes out to get his brother back and that’s like all I got give or take. Haven’t worked on this like properly but will hopefully have something better explained and so on some day, but this will do for now, enjoy!

And feel free to send i asks about them, will try to answer haha xD

[ray-ray-writings]

Hello! First time submitter to your blog! After reading the hybrid!sam headcannons I’d kill for an angsty story where Hybrid!Sam doesn’t realize you’re near him when he does his little blow up and you get caught in the crossfire by accident

You can call me 🦡 if you’d like, I prolly won’t submit often but I’m always here reading 💛

🦡……. Why? Why must you do this? I mean this is such a good idea, but like…. Why? Idea is pulled from this post here. But also, everyone welcome to yet another edition of “Y/N gets blown up by a creeper because they weren’t paying attention.” We stan consistency on this blog huh? (P.S. This is it for tonight haha. Hope you enjoy)

So Sam is at home but he has been working for a really long time. Dream had paid him all of those diamonds to build the prison and he’d been at work, messing with redstone and testing everything for a very long time with no sleep. So he’s been messing with this one contraption for probably four hours now and he cannot get it to work and he is growing frustrated. He can feel his anger swelling in his veins and before he knows it, he’s hissing. Finally, finally he gets everything in place and for a moment the device works!.... But only for a moment. The machine sputters to a stop and then there is a pop. Sam rushes over to fix it and as he touches it, something swings loose and smashes his hand. And it’s all too much for Sam. He lets out a curse before turning and running out of the house, trying to get to the one place he knows he can blow up safely. 

As he’s running out of the house, he doesn’t notice, but he runs past you. You are aware that he has been working for super long but you have no idea that he’s that upset. You have no idea where he’s going and he didn’t even stop to say hi to you, which clues you something is wrong. So you rise from the couch and you follow him, “Sam?” you ask as you follow him out, no response. So you silently follow behind him as he makes his way to an open field. He stops abruptly and you can see his shoulder’s heaving. You approach him from behind and move your hand up to rest on his shoulder, “Sam?” you ask softly again. But the next thing you know, there is a loud noise and you are being flung back across the field, white hot pain searing your skin as you fly and once you hit the ground your vision goes dark and you’re passed out, but not dead.

Sam made it to his field and let himself take a few deep breaths before letting himself take out the shout. But as he did, horror filled his body. “Sam?” It’s too late, he can’t stop the explosion. His shout echoes through the field and blocks are broken by the explosion. As the noise fades, Sam whips around and his eyes immediately find you laying on the ground. Your eyes are closed but Sam can see that you are breathing…. Doesn’t help his panic though. Sam sprints to you and falls to his knees beside. “No,” he whispers to himself as one of his arms snakes around your shoulder, pulling you gently off the ground and the other carefully cupping your face. He can see the burns that litter your skin and his heart sinks to his stomach with guilt. “No,” he whispers again, tears filling his eyes, “What are you doing here? You weren’t supposed to be here. Oh Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. So sorry” the tears fall freely down his cheeks as he buries his face into your shoulder and cries. After he’s gotten a lot of his tears out, he pulls his face out of your neck and looks over your body and decides he needs to get you home and take care of your injuries before they get infected. He moves his hand from your face, and moves it to the bend of your knees and carefully stands up, carrying you bridal style. Sam as quickly but also as carefully as he can, makes his way back home. He ever so gently sets you on the bed before rushing to the bathroom and getting everything he needed to take care of you. 

He carefully cleans the dirt that fell on your skin after you were tossed to the ground by… well by him… but once you’re all clean, he gently applies the burn cream that you have so many times applied to his skin and he can’t help but well up with tears again. He did this to you. He’s the reason you’re lying in this bed unconscious. He hurt you… Oh god he hurt you and you’re going to leave him. He tries his best to push those thoughts away in his head and just focuses on being there for you. He sits by your side, clutching your hand, and just staring at your face the entire time you’re passed out. He slightly pleas with whoever is listening that you won’t totally hate him 

Your body aches when you wake up. At first you’re a little confused as to why you feel this way, but then you notice that your hand is being clutched as if you’re going to disappear and it all comes flooding back. You know Sam must feel awful even though it’s not his fault. You manage to pry your eyes open and find Sam already staring at you. “Y/N” he breathes out, standing quickly from his chair to hover near you, “Oh god Y/N” he breathes out again. You manage to give him a sheepish smile, “Hey honey. How’re you?” you slur, your voice tired and sleepy. “How am I? How am I? Y/N I just blew you up halfway across the field and you’re asking me how I am?” You give a tired nod, wincing a little bit at the tightness in your neck, “Yeah,” you state as though it were obvious, “Feel better?” He just continues to stare at you incredulously as you peer up at him. “You… You… You’re not mad at me? You’re not going to leave me?” And your heartbreaks. You carefully lift a hand up to him, motioning him forward before opening your palm. Sam gets the hint and rests his cheek against your palm and nuzzles his face as close to it as he can. “No baby, I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you for something you can’t control. And I would never leave you, you’re stuck with me until you throw me out.” Sam lets out a chuckle at that as his eyes flicker back to yours, “So forever, then?” “I guess forever then” the two of you chuckle at that. And it’s true, the two of you love and each other and couldn’t ever imagine leaving one another. Accidents like this happen. What’s important is that those accidents are made up for, which Sam is more than happy to do. 

[babiedeku]

Ah~ Thank you! My birthday was OK, but I ate a lot, so now I feel quite bad. x) Really? I can? So 1-6, 8-13, 16, 23, 25, 26, 37,38. You can write a half if it's a lot. But I really like how you write about Atsumu.

im glad you enjoyed your birthday babie! and awhie please rest and take it easy okie? so that you’ll feel better soon! and i did them all, the rest are just under the cut babie

1.  where was your first date?

probably somewhere food related like a ramen or sushi restaurant since atsumu has an appetite 

2.  who normally plans the dates?

it’s a team work, the whole date planning thing, atsumu likes to have an input on where he’d like to go on our dates 🥰

3.  what type of dates would you two mostly go on? do you guys have a ���date spot” ?

oooo i think most of the time it’d just be spontaneous dates that would happen after their training where he’d go “babe let’s go there, wanna grab some lunch with my girl before i pass out cuddlin’ the hell outta you” HAHAHA and as for date spots, it would probably be a sushi shop or or a boba place!

4.  what kind of date do you think the both of you would enjoy together the most? why?

spontaneous dates or stay at home dates!!! we love the thrill at the same time we just love cuddling HAHAHA

5.  how do you think your friends would feel about them being your bf/gf/partner?

they’d be a little wary at first, given that he is focused on his career on becoming a professional volleyball player and they think he might not give me the love and attention i deserve. but they eventually see how much of a fuckin’ simp he is for me and they’d accept him and even let atsumu in on the tea we’d be spilling

6.  how do you think their friends would feel about you?

“how the fuck did you manage to get a girl like her?” would be their initial reaction, making atsumu fume but still be happy because his friends would take a liking to me immediately

“blink twice if you need help” suna would offer.

8. how would you know them? ( ex: same homeroom, same route to school, etc.)

probably through some school project or having mutual friends (like osamu or kita!)

9.  what do you think your first impression of them would be?

oh my first impression of atsumu would be that one guy who knows he’s handsome and flirts with every girl he sees, so i’m a little intimidated at first.

10.  what do you think their first impression of you would be?

amazing (lol omg HHAAHHA) probably since i’ve managed to befriend osamu who doesn’t really open up to just any random school mate and probably a little shy too!

11.  who’s more awkward in the relationship?

me!! since i get shy a lot it’d take a while before im a lil bit more comfortable with our relationship in general since atsumu’s the kinda guy who’s proud to show of his s/o

12.  who initiates verbal affection more?

also me!! i just love showering atsumu with praises and telling him how much i love him until he blushes, which in turn will trigger the onslaught of teasing from osamu and suna

13.  who initiates physical affection more?

atsumu does! he just loves holding hands with me, giving me kisses, having an arm around my shoulder to have me close to him and also to show people that we’re together!

16.  how well do you think your music tastes would mix? would they like the music you listen to? would you like the music they listen to?

my music taste is pretty diverse and im pretty open to listening to just about any genre! so i think we’d have a nice mishmash of songs that we’d both like and we’d prolly even send each other songs if we like it or just think the other would like it!

23.  how would you describe your first kiss?

it would take me by surpise no cap  HAHA since our first kiss would be the moment he asked me out on a date after winning a game! but it’d be slow and sweet, like atsumu was pouring every ounce of his love and feelings for me into that one kiss :’)

25.  do you think they’d be good at your love language?

YES!!! physical affection is our common love language!

26. i answered this one here babie!

37.  who is more messy?

honestly, it’s going to be a lil hard since i have a tendency to be messy too :< but i’d be the lesser of two evils, cleaning my mess after a while unlike atsumu who kinda just forgets his mess. but we’re both typically neat besides that!

38.  who would propose? would either of you want marriage in the future?

atsumu would be the one to propose first! we’d both want to get married since we’re just so in love with each other and we just can’t see ourselves with other ppl anymore

[dividetourstart2finish-blog]

SHOW NINE TEENAGE CONCER TRUST MARCH 28, 2017. ROYAL ALBERT HALL LONDON, ENGLAND.

For the video of the whole concert go HERE. Below are the video for each song, minus the a team and thinking out loud. Both of those song can be found in the video above. Castle On The Hill Eraser The A Team So weird seeing him plug in the guitar haha. I'm trying to decide if I can tell a difference in how castle on the hill sounds. This set up looks so plain compared to what we are used to lol. The crowd sounds really good so far. He is singing eraser kinda fast. I'm starting to notice that sometimes he records the hey and some time he just does it himself. The cord came out lol. He's prolly thinking this is exactly why I got rid of this damn cord haha. Don't/New Man Dive Bloodstream He sounds like he either has a small cold or his voice is just really tired. Hopefully it will hold out for the concert. This is taking me back to the don't of the multiply tour, with the long guitar cord. Then he throws in new man and I'm like oh yea it's 2017 lol. Just chuck that water bottle haha. Dive is such a beautiful song. Why is there so much talking going on. Yes please sing louder. Those bright red lights scared me haha. I wasn't looking at my phone so I was like what the hell is going on. So excited for bloodstream. This song really hasn't changed at all. It still sound the same and he still sings everything the same way. Love love bloodstream and watching him so it like still blows my away. Happier Galway Girl Human/I See Fire I can't wait to see him perform happier live in person. Omg why are people talking. Like shut the hell up or go home. God people talking can definitely ruin a video. I love eds shadow in the spotlight. I think I've watched it more during Galway Girl than him lol. The shadow is gonna be in I see fire as well. What kind of noise are they making now. I love his voice on human. The passion in his voice is always so amazing. Perfect Nancy Mulligan Sing I love how he sways while singing perfect. I thought it was a proposal but inthink people were just cheering. Fastest string break ever haha. It must have been just barely hanging on because the beginning of Nancy Mulligan isn't really a place he normally breaks strings. The guitar trev brought him isn't tuned all the way for this song. It sounds higher. Sing is always the song that's gonna give away and voice problems. His voice sounds ok but it's definitely not as strong as normal. He is flying through sing. He also isn't moving around a lot but that may be due to the fact he has a cord. ENCORE Shape Of You and You Need Me I Don't Need You So much loop station action during shape of you. He's gonna get his feet tangled up lawd. Last song, you need me. It sounds faster lol. No broke string, I can't believe it. The station froze up oh no. He's gonna punch it. He's like damn. thing. work. Yay it listened hehe. He reacts so quickly and he makes decision so fast. I love watching the wheel turn in his head when things go wrong. Teenage cancer trust was a success. The crowd was awesome and ed really enjoyed himself. His loop station messed up but he and It recovered lol. The set list was different but it was a special gig. It will prolly go back to normal for the next show. Speaking of next show, we are heading to Stockholm. I don't think he's performed there so I'm excited. Sorry today's post is so late it's been a crazy last few days. Anyways have a great rest of the weekend, keep on singing on and spreading love 💙💙💙

[punkcherries]

ON THE TOPIC OF THE MASQUERADE KARABEETS,,,

ok so bc i havent ACTUALLY said what the hap is fuckening with this shIT heres whts goin down for the most part, id imagine that this was mostly karamatsu’s idea- likely inspired by a novel or movie or w/e an he an his bros for whatever fuckin reason end up talkin to hatabou and hatabou for WHATEVER FUCKIN REASON wants to throw a party (could be a birthday party who knos???) so kara realizes a party means he can pitch the idea of a masquerade party and he does and his bros are like “what ew that sounds boring” but karamatsu being karamatsu convinces the naive childish hatabou to go through with it, and he thus helps in planning the party, part of which includes a whole shebang where he is introduced as an esteemed prince from shfgjkdfgj-land and is labeled as a “special mystery guest” on the invitations, hatabou goes thru with all this under the guise of it being like a big party game,,,, who can find out its kara first,,,, ooo,,,,, the bros are cast as various members of the shfgjkdfgj-land court (like jyushi as a jester an shit like that) while karamatsu takes the spotlight, with the mentality that he can do p much anything while dressed as he is since people wont blame anything on him, theyll blame the prince- so for the most part karamatsu is not acting like a Giant Mess™ and instead suave and cool bc he like actually doesnt care if that makes any goddamn sense (course he still uses big painful words but like ykno) and bc he looks and acts different no one suspects a thing and the night is going smoothly, no? then chibita arrives, a lil late but hey hes there (and he had to wait for iyami bc they came together), karamatsu of course recognizes chibita even though he, too, is in an outfit thatd fool anyone who never knew him, with a sky blue bob wig and a dress karamatsu made for him (the dress being the bit that tipped karamatsu off that it was chibita) along with a dandelion yellow mask with no particularly interesting features, unlike karamatsu’s glitter rimmed mask. ofc karamatsu approaches and they exchange hellos and light banter, karamatsu introducing himself as a prince of course and, when questioned by chibita as to why he would approach him, he probably says something along the lines of “a rose as beautiful as yourself shouldnt be left all alone” and it actually works, although chibita did have to hold back a “shut up” as not to be rude to “”royalty””, more chatter ensues before a song (probably like a waltz or w/e) plays and karamatsu asks chibita to dance to which chibita hesitantly complies and they dance, light banter under the music, mostly compliments from karamatsu, much to a flustered chibitas embarrassment, i suppose after the dance karamatsu would invite chibita out to star gaze on the manor’s balcony, away from the clutter of the rest of the ball. karamatsu, who had been crushing on chibita for AGES takes the chance to ask for a kiss under the stars- no one could see them, no one would know! chibita, whod already fallen for the prince for his compliments charm and likeness to karamatsu (which hed noticed but never really thought meant anything) was apprehensive, but did agree, his main fear being that this handsome, dashing, presumed heterosexual prince would find out that he is not, in fact, a conventionally attractive woman. the kiss ensues and, well, chibita wasnt found out, but chibita’s thumb ended up wiping away the cover up kara put on to conceal his freckles, as the kiss breaks away chibita notices the freckles and questions the presumed prince. everything in karamatsu’s mind just falls apart and he nervously attempts to convince chibita that its like idk tart crumbs or smthn, chibita aint buyin that tho and since chibita finds it impractical to have pockets, he had worn his shorts beneath the dress, within the back pocket of which he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away the rest of karamatsu’s make up. chibita had seen karamatsu’s freckled face enough times to recognize him instantly, he pulls off karas mask and tries to interrogate him (abt as gently as he can since he knows how sensitive kara is) but alas, karamatsu was unable to handle the anxiety and snatched his mask, running off towards the inside of the manor and, because the balcony is up a flight of stairs, i like to think of this scene going like karamatsu basically saying “fuck stairs” and jumping over and off the rail that keeps ppl from falling inside like idk if that makes sense but like???

id imagine it looks kina like this jus less shitty cos i had to draw it w a mouse that rail in front of the balcony door right there he jumps off that down to the lower level and rolls for a safe landing bc athletic kara is good and also that image is just rlly cool in my head, chibita tho is like “what the fu ck” and runs down the stairs to try and catch up with him but by the time he gets to the bottom the front door is shutting and karamatsu is nowhere in site now chibita, not being a fucking moron, goes out after him anyway bc aint no liar revealed story lines in my household- so he goes out under the assumption that karamatsu prolly ran home (which he tried to but he ran out of breath so when chibita finds him hes walkin down the street n shit ykno) an chibita stops him and apologizes for scaring him an stuff or making him think that he was mad at him an stuff like that (id imagine chibita jus up n bear hugs him n shit) an kara like clearly was crying a l o t an chibit jus feels bad abt it an karas like “noooooooooooo its okkkkkkkkkk” an its a bit of a blubber fest but they make up ofc an chibit tells kara hes not mad at him he was jus surprised cos kara MADE chibts dress for him how could he nOT recognize him an karas like “HAHA OH YA LOL RIGHT TOTALLY DIDNT RECOGNIZE U HAHAH im straight i swear” an chibits all suspicious now cos kara cant lie for shIT an after a lil questioning from chibit kara comes out an says hes had a crush on him for a while and thought that with his whole prince facade he could finally act on his feelings without apprehension and apologizes for being “weird” and shit like that an chibis like “holy shit” internally bc a; person he likes is also gay like him and b; likes him BACK an he calms kara down like “noo shhh ur not weird its ok” an after kara is calm n stuff chibita is honest since its p clear kara is being rlly honest and means what he says so chibis like “i like u too dammit” an its gay an karas like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” internally an he cries again but like happy cries an its rlly gay n stuff th ending here is a lot more messy in my mind than the rest so its like p unfinished an shit an coul be better so suGGEST THINGS IF U WISH thas abt all i got for this rn sjfhjksdhgkjdf

[guys-chill]

My Demons are PTA Moms

Hey so as you know, I love PTA mom jokes and like making names for my friends ect. Well sometimes, when shit hits the fan and there are lots of negative thoughts, so I address each thought as if it were some stuck up lady from the PTA. Here’s my “convo” that happened last night ( I was talking to my friend and basically texted her my thoughts) bc I think it’s funny. If you wanna skip the buildup and go straight to moms, skip the first bit and start where I say YOOT. Theres alot.. yall dont gotta read i know that its alot alot

TW for mentions of rape

Set the scene: My mind is wandering, open to passing thoughts

Me: I wonder why sometimes your brain thinks about nothing. Like, there are so many things to think about, yet I stare at the ceiling thinking about nothing just kind of floating in empty mind space

Me: Now im thinking about [ex bf.] and how i want to work through my [ex bf.] memories with you and [friend’s boyfriend who is also my friend] and how that’s unfair bc its like, yall dont exist to listen to my problems and im thinking i need to face them and get through that wall of pain. Like they’re motly breaking up memories atm. Im trying to avoid them because its hard

Friend: He and I are your friends and part of our job as friends is to listen

Me: :^)

Me: Ye but like no i feel so selfish when we are about me

Friend: But you shouldn’t

Me: You know that meme that’s like “I feel uncomfortable when we are about me”. Mood

Friend: No I don’t

Me: Rip. Yeet bc i wanna face them but i know it’s gonna have me breaking down and I want a hug and like yall aren’t responsible for me or like i j feel bad

Friend: It’s ok dude we’re here for you

Me: But i know i gotta face them but im putting it off rn bc i don’t wanna fall asleep breaking down but why cant i just do it like UGGGH. Like with opening up my feelings door I’ve opened up remembering that i blocked kinda or avoided ahhh lol my mind is riptastic and sad rn but my heart is only mildly and i dont wanna be sadddsdddddd and i avoid my shit. [Her bf] is right that its hard to face your shit. And I feel dumb for not. And its like just let the suffering commense, you’ll be fine later

Friend: I’m sorry

Me: Why am i so FUCKING needy. Lol sorry im like this

Friend: You’re not needy my dude!

Me: My brain is like !OOh idea! Lets want someone to love you and hug you and all this shit to be really extra even though it doesn’t even matter that much bc who gives a fuck yo people have they’re own lives but you know I think it sounds like a GREat way to make things difficult haha fuck u

Me: Lol i said i wasn’t gonna get into this but look at me goooooooooo. YEET

Friend: Oh boy you’re ok

Me: Yo its fine god im im a messsss yoot AAHH YOOT THATS SO FUNNY

Friend (Prolly like oh boyyy at this point): You’re gonna be ok I’m sorry

Me: Wanna hear my inner dialouge lol YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOOD AT MEMES YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

Me: Ye thank you I appreciate that

Friend: If you want to share

Me: I appreciate you listening to me

Friend: Any time

Me: Why is my mind just like saying rando shit its like Haha you fucking psycho kill yourself, and its like no Pam, that’s not even what were talking about rn. Like who invited you. Yeah I know no one invited me to my own party haha funny jan. Why am I a mess. But HeY at least we’ve gotten distracted

Friend: Oh boy I’m sorry

Me: “Lol im gonna kill you” thanks maureen

Friend: Why all the suicidal thoughts

Me: Im thinking of that vine of this kid awkward dancing to like trap music and his mom walks in and you can hear her mouthing like turn it down wtf. I dont even know I dont even wanna die my mind is so unoriginal. Good to know Jan, youre worthless too

Me: Like im doing that thing where i make everything a joke to not have it hit as hard

Friend: Im sorry. You’ll be ok

Me: TW rape “Lol no he didn’t rape me in the butt you insensitive bitch (me @ Clarissa)” Haha im gonna fucking kill myself. That one was a bit more real. I suppose both but like the kill yourself bit

Friend: Oh boy

Me: I wanna die im a mess. Tw again Youre so ugly why the fuck would he even wanna rape you haha dumb bitch got raped you dummy couldn’t even get him off lol you got him off tho...SHUT UP. lol no Way hunny this is too fun you vulnerable cunt haha fucking ill whip out any insult that has to do with sexually explicit shit come at me slut

Me: Haha im sorry

Friend: Oh boy, don’t be sorry. You’re ok. What he did was on him, it had nothing to do with you it wasn’t your fault

Me: Why they gotta say rape so much like i get it gerryanna; you’re shitty at sales pitching sell me something i dont know. God i love these moods (sarcastically)

Friend: Oh boy

Me: Haha you dumb bitch like they’re not even original. Im calling the superintendent of my mind and having them all taken off the PTA board of trustees. Fuck you Helen. Not you though [Friend] your name susan helen does not apply during breakdowns

Friend: Oh boy. Is there anything i can do

Me: Im just laying here with a pained smile on my face its not even a breakdown its a roast sesh. Nah not atm besides listen and hear the dumb shit they say

Friend: Oh boy, does it help to get it out like would writing help

Me: Yeah. God you cant even type right. Yeah you’re a secretary Jan sorry I dont have a crumbling marrage and an English degree like you. Oooooh im throwing sick burns. Im not even funny im just sad. I hope you’re laughing. Genuinely I hope its a bit funny because im a piece of trash. Ok yo you didn’t need to say that last part margaree.

Friend: Omfg

Me: God hell yeah you can take me out on trash day fucking Mmm yeah you bet id like that feeling of powerlessness and suffocation of my voice please, expand uponthis trash bag fantasy joann. Ill sit on the curb and cry myself to death you right. Fuck you got me lol I guess ill just give up now. Fool im not done yet get PUNKED Pamela. Im still here to shit on your bad insults. I hate myself, yeah i hate you too Mary Sue. Go fuck yourself; I think i might give it a shot from what i’ve heard its best in the shower and i was gonna take one tomorrow...

Friend: Oh boyyyyyy

Me: Lol yall are dumb; When they try to make their voices sound like mine but you can tell the yall is just you and the’re throwing shit at you but you see it. Im great fuck you pam

Friend: Oh gee

Me: This is good, like genuinely its like a throwdown and they’re bloody on the floor (the pta council). Fuck em, yeah fuck you too janice. “I hadta do it to em”- me at my future kid asking why i did this. Yeah i beat up Suzanne but she was a bitch anyway. Ok now stop trying to get all on my side pauleenI know you’re with them. Go with the rest of em. I bought you a luxury cruise well actually yall did bc yall are selfish and feed off sadness go drink some martinis and come back but you bet ill be fucking waiting for you, yeah ik were not done donna, but ill still be there and... “I love you”- I love you too higher sweetie who sounds like [my friend’s spirit guide] no now its my higher self but also [her]? Yeet ok bye yall

Friend: Oh boy

Me: Fuck um, Patricia decided to stay behind and keep me company. Lol im a mess. How are you things have relatively chilled. And now im being told “I love you” from someone i think me a higher power that believes in me

Friend: Eh im alright. How are you

Me: Im better. Did you enjoy that little skit my ego wants to know so it can make a production and Pam can bring her friends back and then my higher self is saying just say you love me and you’re here, “and i love you”- higher bee thank you I love you too. Idek, yes I know i’m a mess pam. I know

Friend: “Higher bee” oh could you imagine if god was just a fluffy bumble bee wanting us to love ourselves. I’m sorry you’re going through this

Me: But im a mess of glitter, spilled but pretty and not going away yeah ok no pretty is not my only worthy reason for existing but thanks. Im also friendly. Awwww thatd be so sweet. Thatd BEE so sweet. She’s beautiful

Friend: Ba dum tss

Me: Its ok i find it mildly funny. “I cant drown my demons, they’re in a pta meeting atm and dont have their pool passes handy”

Friend: Lol

Me: Haha im livingg. I love you. Thank you for listening

Friend: I love you too and any time

Me: “I love you so much” thank you giant sky bee, God thank you giant sky bee godbless. Bless yourself. How are you. Im feeling loved. I faced part of the wall yoot lol

Friend: I’m glad you’re feeling loved I’m ok

Me: Like i faced something, im here and it matters. I love you. Im glad you’re ok. What have you been doing how long was that. 12:46 to 1:20. 35-40 min. Average breakdown cycle. Nice good to know. See, its all chill after 40 min

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And thats that my guys uhh yeah i keep track of how long i break down for and it really is only about 45 minutes until your body wears itself out. I love you all