#project runway making an appearance because im obsessed

[holoprisms]

do not let anyone change the way you view yourself, as if you are not aesthetically pleasing enough.

almost every man ive ever met in my life who was interested in me has rated me a solid 6.5 out of 10, and all of them were somehow obsessed with getting me to become more physically fit. more “healthy”

my body is strangely shaped, i have too much fat in certain places like my belly and my arms, my hair is too long or too short for their tastes, i should shave my legs, i don’t act ladylike enough, i should get botox to fix the wrinkles on my forehead and chin because I have so much extra skin, my teeth are too yellow, i laugh too obnoxiously, my chin is lopsided, i need more muscle to fill my body out and be toned. one of them wanted me to do squats because he told me my butt wasn’t perky enough “but there is potential.”

they told me that they couldn’t really ever see me as genderfluid, and that i only appear feminine and womanlike to them. but apparently not living up to their standards of what a woman should be. like. shut up. Literally shut UP.

i’ve fallen into the vicious cycle of telling myself i need to look like a barbie, like a runway model, like instagram women who travel to dubai in bikinis and eat yogurt for breakfast. or like the perfect 90s blond male magazine physique. because im soooo close to either one anyway, just not quite there. why not close the circle and fix my insecurities with excercise and plastic surgery? when i looked at myself i felt shame for so many things. i still do, but less often now. im still picking out the brain rot this disease has caused me.

i am very lucky to have a partner who thinks im beautiful no matter what. hearing this affirmation daily really does help.

i am having the weirdest time in the world right now because ive worked myself into a social circle in which my looks and self presentation have NO value whatsoever. usually people are only interested in what i have to say if im attractive.

i love it. i love not caring for once. i love it here and i love my friends dearly and they are all seriosuly the most beautiful people to me in the world

bigoted majority groups run the world, their beauty standards have dominated capitalism for decades. they want you to buy more things to conform to skewed beauty standards. you aren’t ugly. you AREN’T misshapen. you have friends who think you are beautiful. AND YOU LITERALLY ARE!!! they aren’t just saying it to make you feel better. they are seeing the REAL you. they are seeing your own vision of yourself, and how youve projected that vision onto your form. everyone views art differently. to be truly seen is to be loved.

[memyselfandsomefanfiction]

Protocol Mom Card

Hiii! So I’m new here trying my hand at some fanfic and @propertyofpoeandbucky put up a mystery challenge that I decided to take part it. I asked for a prompt and here’s what she gave me “Be a responsible adult for once and face the consequences of your actions!”. So I tried my best and I really like it so I hope you do too! Thank you for reading! 

Bucky x Reader 

Words: ~1,500 

Warnings: some cussing? one f bomb and some bs 

All I hear is a crash over their yelling. Then silence. Silence is never a good thing with those two. All I wanted to do today is relax and use Bucky as a pillow as I catch up on 9-1-1, but no the two man childs have to ruin my plans. So now I am dragging Bucky with me to make sure they don’t escape. I am so over this bullshit.

“Bucky when we get in there you are to murder stare immediately. Arms crossed pissed off murder face. Steve and Tony have gone too far. I am over this. Got it?” I am in official mom mode as I ask (tell) him to help.

“No problem doll. We were finally learning what happened in Bobby’s past. I was comfortable and the punk and the idiot are just ruining it. So full on Winter face they get.” Bucky happily goes along with this plan.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes miss?”

“When Bucky and I enter this room you are to lock it down no escapes. I am enforcing Protocol Mom Card and I do not need either of the two leaving. Feel free to alert the rest of the team of it’s happenings and broadcast it to them if they wish.”

”Yes ma’am. Protocol Mom Card enabled.”

“Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y. A great help as always.”

As I walk into the room I see the worst possible outcome. The two humongous idiots have gone and broken the mug that Clint gave to Nat. She loves that thing and guards it like a dragon guards its horde. I heard the doors lock, but luckily the Idiots haven’t. Time to lecture some sense into these fools.

“Eh hem.” I try, but nope they’re stuck in their fight.

“Tony? Steve?” Nothing.

“CAPTAIN DORITO! TONY STANK!” There now I’ve got their attention.

They turn around looking like they’re going to start yelling at me instead of each other, but then they notice Bucky behind me and his expression. Slowly they look around and realize they have messed up. Slowly they start to inch away like they’re going to run.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes miss?”

“Please inform these idiots what protocol has been enabled.”

“Protocol Mom Card has been enabled sirs.”

“Please also inform them of the next protocol that automatically becomes enabled if this proves to not work out.”

“Next up is Protocol Helicopter Mode. A S.H.I.E.L.D. approved nanny will be brought in for each of you. Boss’ will report to Miss Potts and Miss Y/L/N. Captain Rogers will report to Mr.Barnes and Miss Y/L/N. You will be on probation until you can prove you can be trusted.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs them.

At this point they have stopped trying to leave and dread has filed their faces.

“Now here is what is going to happen. You are going to go sit on the couch and listen to what I have to say. I will hear you out one at a time and if you try to interrupt each other I have no qualms about employing Bucky here to hold your mouth closed. He is not happy that our plans were interrupted so he will happily just sit on you and hold your mouth closed. Right darling?”

“Oh yes. I am over this shit and if sitting on them to shut them up helps I am your man Doll.” Bucky confirms.

“Now we are going to start with Tony. You may explain what this fight was about in your point of view. Now get started.”

“So it’s like this. Captain Tight Ass over there REFUSED MY OH SO GENEROUS OFFER OF BLUEBERRIES AND COFFEE. HE THEN TURNED AROUND AND JUST MADE HIMSELF A CUP FROM THE SAME POT HE DID IT TO SPITE ME! SPITE ME I TELL YOU! SPITE ME!.” Tony is very out of breath by the time he’s done.

“Now Steve without making comments about Tony’s explanation tell me your point of view of things.” I say rubbing my temples over this bullshit.

“I refused the blueberries because I had already had breakfast and was no longer hungry. As for the coffee after the Asgardian mead spiked coffee incident I don’t accept coffee in cups from him anymore.” Steve used his Captain lecture voice to get his point across.

“Oh dear lord someone shoot me. Bucky? Will you shoot me so I don’t have to deal with this? They didn’t even realize that Nats favorite mug is over there shattered because of this.” I pleaded.

“Oh Doll I won’t shoot you but Nat may shoot them for you. I doubt you’ll even have to ask. That mug was from Clint from years ago sentimental value and all.” Bucky happily states watching the two idiots faces go gray.

“Oh fuck.” Was the simultaneous mutter.

“Now now Language Stevie.” Bucky is really enjoying this.

“Now here is what is going to happen. I am going to tell you something important and then you two are going to clean up the mess, go out together and pick out a new mug for Nat that you put thought into. Tony you will also be calling that spa that Pepper likes and booking Nat a spa day. Steve you will give her the day off. You will present her with the gift and a full apology. Be responsible adults for once and face the consequences of your actions! If that means facing a murderous Nat then so be it maybe you will learn. Do the both of you understand?” I ask in full on Mom Voice.

“Do we have to actually go out? Can’t I just order from F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” Tony asks.

“For once I am in agreement with Tony. Going out to just buy a mug seems like a risk of getting mobbed and hounded.” Steve tries to reason.

“Well good. Buying a gift in person is more heartfelt and if you get mobbed and hounded by fans? Then oh well tell them you’re buying an apology gift. There. Plan made. It’s happening.” I am not backing down on this.

They just kind of stand there staring at me.

“Now what are you waiting for? Get cleaning! Work together! Tony no using bots I have DUM-E running an errand for me so don’t even think about it.” I give the marching orders.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Yes miss?”

“Keep an eye on them both here cleaning and their shopping trip if you don’t mind.” I request.

“No problem miss. They will be monitored.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. informs me.

“Thank you. Now come on babe back to 9-1-1.” I grab Bucky and we leave them to it under F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s watchful eyes.

*Later that Night*

I was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on my door.

“Come in!”

In comes Nat. She takes a seat on mine and Bucky's bed while I am taking off a face mask at my vanity.

“I wanted to thank you for how you handled Steve and Tony earlier. Previously if they had broken something of someone else's it would be ignored and they would leave the mess for someone else to find because they end up so wrapped up in their stupid arguing. Now because of this I keep nothing of value sentimental or not in the common areas. I have a whole cabinet of doubles of that mug, Clint is clumsy enough without factoring in idiots arguing. Barnes was right when he said I would shoot them for you though. No one has ever gone out of their way like this for me. So as a thank you I managed to get Tony to add you to my spa day. You and I are going to be pampered and then at the end of the night Barnes is going to be taking you out on Tony’s dime. I know you were brought on to essentially nanny us, but you truly have become Team Mom and we do love you for it. So thank you.” She just smiles warmly at me.

“You have made my cry. I do love all of you and that’s why I am no longer getting paid to be Team Mom. I just love you guys and want to be sure you’re all taken care of. You and I are going to have an amazing spa day. Thank you.” I hug her hard as I stupidly cry.

“Now back to your husband I have cuddles to cash in and tv to watch. Tonight is Project Runway. We adore Tim Gunn.” I scoot her out my door and lock it behind her.

“You can come out now Mr. Assassin. You would think you would be better at hiding.” I scold.

“Now come on you just know me, she didn’t know I was here or else she wouldn’t have busted out that speech. So like you said you have some cuddles to cash in and some Tim Gunn to watch lets get to it.” He slaps my ass as he passes me to get into bed.

“Okay okay I’m coming.” I curl up with him and put on Project Runway to settle down for the night.

Fin